The Review Queens reach for the stars in another VERSUS Episode, this week rating & reviewing 1 and 5 Star Yelp Reviews for Los Angeles business: Astrology by Austin!  Whose views win when the Queens go head-to-head to determine which review leaves the most lasting impression! The Queens see green, Chelsey watches old men and young men, Trey hates Altoid inflation, and no one can spell Salman.

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(00:00) Royal Court 

(02:13) Lodge a Complaint!

(13:27) 1 Star Review

(32:23) Exclusive Offer

(33:31) Meryl-Go-Round

(38:49) 5 Star Review

(55:02) My Royal Highness

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*****

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Visit our website for more: www.ReviewThatReview.com

@TheReviewQueens | @ChelseyBD | @TreyGerrald

---

Review That Review is an independent podcast.  Executive Produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound design by Trey Gerrald.  Cover art designed by LogoVora, voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky, and our theme song was written by Joe Kinosian and sung by Natalie Weiss.

[Theme Song!]

Hi!

Well, hello there!

Welcome to Review That Review.

We are the podcast dedicated to reviewing

Reviews!

We're just like Siskel and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we rate and

Reviews!.

I'm being honest and that voice is Chelsey Donn.

And that voice is Trey Gerrald

and together we form the honest

... VOICEOVER: The Review Queens.

As honest as we can be.

You know.

I never remember.

I can't set it up thinking that she's going to not say exactly the same

Um, anyway.

Hey Queen!

Wait.

All right.

So what's going on?

We are 22 minutes late cuz Chelsey has tech issues.

Oh my God.

You guys, I just want to give a live Review right now.

For those of us who have watched the videos.

Like you just see the back of my room and I thought I should get a green screen.

So as a Review Queen, I did a lot of research and I found one that,

The advertising was really good.

There was a girl on a skateboard who was holding the green screen.

With the handle on her back.

And she was just like skateboarding through Venice and landed at some like

And she set up the whole green screen and it just made it look very sexy and cool.

And I was like, she can do this, I can do this.

And.

I took everything out.

Like I had so much time.

I was actually running early for once.

Which as we know, Trey, eyeroll, doesn't happen all the time, but I was like running early.

I was so proud of myself for being ahead and I could not get this thing together on my own.

I watched like six different YouTube videos to try and figure it out.

Old men, young men.

But I had to get my roommate and Sundays, like very important to my roommate slash landlord.

He's been like watching a football game and I had a knock on his door

Cause there was no way as one human person, unless I guess you're like master

Like there was just, it was not possible to do on your own and it even said in

No, no, no.

There's no 'might!' You definitely need two people.

So I had to interrupt him.

He was like, um, can this wait?

I was like, no, this cannot wait.

I'm recording a podcast.

This has to happen right now.

I'm sorry.

And so he had to pause the game just to help me get this fakakta thing set up.

And like, it's not even guys, it's not even that good.

Like I got a part of the background, the purple, which I love, I did it to match my nail Polish

I don't know if anyone has any green-screen tips.

Let me know.

I guess we'll just call this my lodging of a complaint because God

So this is going to be my complaint.

Lodge A Complaint.

Is it me?

Is there a good green-screen out there that I'm just not finding, you guys?

I was trying to find something that was portable and easy, and I guess I just don't

Okay.

So many thoughts.

First of all, I was like, why didn't you just call me?

But I'm recognizing you needed four hands...

I needed like another human on the ground.

Right.

It's hilarious to me that you're like, 'roommate helped me.

I need this visual thing for my podcast!', which is just really funny.

And then also I am noticing because your beautiful black headphones have purple from

Oh my God, I love you.

So if I got headphones that didn't have the silver, then it would be not such a situation?

I'm imagining, but it's actually kind of funny.

Ha!

Okay.

Spilling over into like your, um, face.

I don't know why I know why.

And like my shirt!

I don't know.

Who knows.

Geez LaPeez!

You know, it's a learning process.

We are all learning every day.

It's true, we're learning every single day.

And

- Trey Gerrald: and now post this

It was not as easy as skateboard girl made it seem like it was going to be so

Yes.

All right, Trey.

Do you have a complaint you want a Lodge this week?

Lodge A complaint!

You know, I have had this on the list for a long time, but I sort of

And, they had a setup in the bathroom, which makes me think that if it was normal times,

But today I'm lodging a complaint against bathroom attendants.

Oh, okay!

I hate them.

I went to college in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.

So a lot of the bars and clubs we would go to were like touristy.

And so they would always have bathroom attendants, and it's so obnoxious because

And so you want to get back out there and like, you want to check yourself in

Who's like an all black and a vest.

And they like, like, I don't want to be bothered and I don't want to make eye contact with

And then I have to like acknowledged the fact that this is like your career and that like,

And, but like, I would rather just do like my own towels or like do the hand dryer.

I don't want to make eye contact with you because then you're going to start

And then I feel like I have to tip you because I've taken the towel from you.

And I can't just walk out pre COVID times without washing my hands because that's

But like out of an energy to like, not have to engage with the person that's sitting there.

So I just really don't like bathroom attendants.

It's like a time for solace.

Maybe this is like a, um, gendered conversation.

But generally I think that men are less chatty in a bathroom than perhaps women are.

I don't know.

I've never been a woman in a bathroom, but I know that there is a social norm with women where

You don't look left and right at a urinal, you don't like chat and talk and

- Chelsey Donn: You're in, you're out.

Right?

It's, an,, it's like a transactional experience.

And so when you throw someone in the mix that is there to facilitate a conversation

Although, and they had this at the um wedding.

But, I do like when there's mouthwash, like I like when they offer you mouthwash or a mint,

I have to tip you a dollar because you gave me this one Altoid out of this tin of...

like, I know that a tin of Altoids is going to be $3.

So like, I'm going to give you $1 for this one Altoid.

That seems outrageous.

That's an inflation to the worst degree.

Depends on how bad you need the Altoid, you know?

And like I'm someone that always wants to have like some

Too tempting for you to not to say no to the Altoid.

Therefore you feel indebted to this person.

It's come up a lot in this podcast.

your feelings about meter maids.

And I do think that I do feel equally parallel to bathroom attendants.

Okay.

Okay.

Because, cause they just occur as a nuisance.

The service is lovely, but it's like, I don't want to feel pressured to

Like I go into that agreement when I go to a restaurant, cause I know I'm going to be

And that feels very wrong.

Any listeners that agree with me, please share.

I agree with you.

I agree with you.

I think that's an interesting point that you brought up because I befriended a

I can talk to most people.

So I respect the hustle.

Have you ever in your life?

I think it's only happened once, maybe twice.

I definitely can think of one situation.

Have you ever gone in an elevator that had an elevator attendant?

Yes at the Carlyle Hotel in New York, they were still

I think the only time in my life I've ever had a elevator attendant was in like

It was someone's like book signing event.

And yes, there was like the gate and there was a little stool that popped out of the

Wow.

It's so interesting.

Anyway, that's my Complaint.

I'm done.

Complaint Lodged, Trey.

Let it be known!

Well.

Okay.

Should we do it?

Yeah, we should do this.

Do you want to go head-to-head?!

That's my new favorite thing.

I mean, I hate confrontation, but I do love reviews.

So in that regard, I would love for us to give this topic, a full assessment

That's, that's a great segue.

I think that it's time for us to

Assess that Kvetch.

And today is another versus episode, Queens.

We are going to cover both a one star and a five star review on the

Psychic astrology.

Ooooh!

Ooooooooh!

I don't know why it feels like that was like an ooooh spooky moment, but

All right, that's right.

For this versus episode, Trey selected the one star and I selected the five star.

So to determine who reads first, we got to flip that quarter, Trey.

Trey's got a shiny and nice quarter over there.

I like that.

Couldn't have that in front of the green screen, because it would definitely reflect that.

Yeah.

I'm going to guess?

I think you guessed last time.

All right.

You're going to guess.

Okay.

GO!

Tails!

And landed as it fell.

So what was it?

Do I have to flip it or do I just pick it up as it is?

I think pick it up as it lies.

That's how it wanted to fall.

Was it heads was the tails...

I don't know where it went!

Oh!

We have now, or one our going out and finding the quarter adventure.

So fun.

I literally don't literally don't know where it went.

All right.

Do I have a quarter?

I don't.

I just emptied all my change.

This is hilarious.

I literally cannot find the quarter.

Are you kidding?.

Okay.

Do you want me to go get a quarter?

Oh, I found it.

Okay.

Was it heads or was it tails?

This is so suspenseful.

It's tails.

Isn't that what you said?

It is what I said!

So you get to go first.

So Trey has the one-star review today, before we get started.

I just want to do a quick little plug.

Goldie now has a tik tok and on brand for today's episode, it's @thepsychicdog.

Yeah, it was available and she got it.

And she's psychic you guys, and if you're in Patreon, just saying, I'm going to be giving away

They're really good.

Anyway, back to the show.

So Trey, you have our one star review today.

Tell us a little bit about what we're reviewing.

Okay.

So today Chelsey and I are both covering one star and five star reviews for a

This is in Los Angeles and Austin is an astrologer, a tarot reader and a numerologist.

Love that!

All right.

So we have reviews from Yelp and I'm going to go first.

So here we go.

Okay.

So I have the one star review from Yelp for Astrology by Austin.

And my Review!

was written by Lorraine A.

All right, Lorraine A.

Let's hear it.

Okay.

I had a numerology reading with Austin this afternoon over the phone.

While I very rarely post reviews I feel compelled to do so in this instance.

I immediately felt that Austin was unprepared for my reading and with the exception of

The one correct thing he said was that my ex husband, is a resentful narcissist.

Which wasn't a big leap considering I told him that I was an empath and divorced from him.

Other than that.

My $90 reading consisted of him telling me to wear the color yellow, parentheses, which

My favorite color.

And my favorite song and to place scrap metal coins on the four corners of my bedroom

Oh, and to walk 10 minutes every morning.

I was also told that I have a strong desire to be a leader, which I do not!

In fact, I hate leadership roles.

I could instantly tell that he didn't do his homework because he couldn't tell me one valid

And that 2021 would be better He also miscalculated the age I was when I got married,

For those who have had good experiences with Austin, I am baffled because mine

I got absolutely nothing out of it at all.

Zero.

Now Lorraine also attaches a photo of a text correspondence with Austin.

Oh, interesting.

Okay.

That I think I should read before we do the assessment.

So, on the right side in green, Lorraine has an Android.

It says, 'why do I have to call you?

You're either going to refund my money or you are not.' Austin says, 'not without a phone call.

So if you don't want to talk, it is what it is.' Lorraine says, 'why can't

Alright.

And that's Lorraine.

Alright, Lorraine.

Hmm.

So much here.

One question that came to mind as we were going through this is, do we think that

I was wondering about that.

What does, like, literally, because this was an, a numerology reading.

Right.

Oh.

But like, literally my thought about homework for any sort

Right.

Right.

Exactly.

Like what do you like they should have Googled you or, but I, now that I'm remembering that it's a

Maybe the, um, Lorraine gave her birthday, you know?

Early on so that they could make the chart?

Correct.

Is that true though?

Cause I've never done numerology.

Is that something you would give upfront?

I think so.

If you're talking about the numbers.

Cause Lorraine says they were unprepared, which would make me think

Right.

So there's just all these numbers, I guess, that, that are supposed to tell a story about your life.

So maybe that's where Lorraine was coming from.

I don't know.

I'm, I'm getting like weird vibes from Lorraine.

Who is a self-proclaimed empath.

Who's a self-proclaimed empath, but has a little bit of like a

For some reason, I like, I was trying to figure out how to pinpoint exactly what it was, but.

What was the scrap metal corners of the bed or bedroom?

What was that?

Yeah.

Well, that's in order to secure better feng shui.

Think of three things in the morning, such as who, your favorite person in the world

I've never heard that

- Chelsey Donn: Scrap metal coins?

Yeah.

I've never heard of that.

It almost felt like Austin was trying to make Lorraine sunnier.

You know, like he was like, you should wear yellow and like, you should start

Yes exactly!

And like, you should rearrange things in your room so that they're bringing

But if I'm reading the reading based on what I'm getting back from Lorraine, I

And if you notice everything that Loraine says in the Review, really demonstrates how she's not

Now.

Like listen, if a psychic told me to wear yellow might it be BS?

Very well might be BS, but am I going to maybe try to wear yellow just to see if like,

Like I would try it.

Like, I've tried a lot crazier things than just wearing a yellow top to see

So I think I certainly would try it and I just felt like throughout the Review!

it was like, Austin would give her a suggestion or like lob something over to Lorraine.

And Lorraine would be like, no, no, like you should know me better to know that.

Like, I wouldn't want to even hear that.

Well, that is my question about intentionality, because what is the

Because it sounds to me that Lorraine's Review!

is very much based on an experience that they did not catch Lorraine's authenticity.

But what we are catching is that all of the stuff Austin's presenting are things that

It is very much what you're saying.

Like if the intention of this numerology is to find my peace.

Right.

It sounds like these are some tangible actions to take for change or

Right.

Yeah.

I mean, it's also interesting because I know this is going to sound like a cop out.

And and I think something that I've heard from a lot of psychics that I believe to be true.

And I know this, even when I'm interacting with people, is there

We'll say, yeah, I know that this is something that sort of happened to you,

Right?

So you have to work with the person and it's up to you whether you want to internalize

But, you're there to receive this information.

And if you're just a block.

If every single thing that I'm going to say to you, you're coming at me going, 'that's not true.

It's not like that.' But sometimes it really is upon reflection that you're like, oh, like for

And the psychic told her, like, you're going to make a lot of money doing something with brushes.

She's like, it's brushes, brushes, brushes.

And for years like Amber, like chewed on that.

And she was like, brushes, like I'm not a painter, like what's gonna be with brushes.

And then she became a makeup artist and she uses brushes all the time.

You know what I mean?

So I just think there has to be a level of willingness to be open about the advice and

And if you're just a total, like no person, like, Nope, not right.

He got the age wrong.

Like if you're that kind of a person, you just shouldn't go to a psychic cause you're not open.

I think that is right.

There is a sense of closed off-ness.

Impress me.

I would counter, well, I think that I want to share my story as a Patreon exclusive.

Okay.

Yes.

Um, cause I had something very traumatizing happened

- Chelsey Donn: And there are

Like I'm definitely don't want to negate that because, there certainly are.

Well, I also like also like just to talk around it, like I

I think there, I did have a sense of arms closed-ness.

Sure.

But it is what that very first text photo that Chelsey sent me was

Twice.

And I'll tell the story on Patreon, but I don't know if it's something

And I chose not to choose that vendor for today's episode.

And I also chose to never leave a review because it felt so unbalancing to me.

Regardless.

I do think there is a middle ground because I do think that everyone

So there is a sense of waiting for that aha epiphany moment of like, yes.

So my, yes.

So when, when they miscalculate the age that I got married or the age of my daughter, like that

I mean, if I'm going to you as an expert, like, I don't want there to be a little error, you know?

They don't always get timeframes exactly right.

They just don't like, and again, I'm not trying to sound like, like I'm

I really do believe that.

It's like,we could get into a whole conversation about how time is relative

But like, you know, their time exists in a lot of different ways.

And most of the time, the psychics that I will go to will say things like, 'I have

The X number of years, like somewhere between this and this, like it's, it

But I also don't know enough about the specific numerology reading.

Well, as far as like the spelling and grammar from Lorraine, I

I think they definitely did do a spell check on this.

The the truthfulness.

I mean, I believe that, do I think that Lorraine's being shady?

I don't know.

I mean, I feel like Lorraine is seeking something in life, which brought them to Austin.

And I think that they, it's interesting.

We've pointed out already Lorraine labels, the ex-husband as a resentful narcissist,

I know that was why I was like, Ooh, like, is Lorraine one of the people that's

I hate to assign that to her.

Cause I don't think I know enough about Lorraine to make that kind of

Probably in Lorraine's view, this is a truthful assessment, but

Except for these little errors about like age and of the daughter and the age when Lorraine

Sure.

Yeah.

It's funny.

It's like very funny to me.

Is incidentally Funny.

Yes.

Yes.

It isn't seeping with humor to me.

I don't know.

What do you think?

I didn't really find it very funny.

Um, I think the last thing I want to bring up before we crown it is

Yeah.

Okay.

Do we feel like it's fair for Lorraine to ask for a discount, number one?

And then do we feel like it's fair for Austin to want to have a phone call?

I think it's fair for Austin to want a phone call and I

I think it's fair to want the refund.

I don't think it's fair to, I mean, it's fair to ask.

Of course it's fair to ask.

I don't think it's warranted.

Right yeah.

I mean, I feel like the phone call makes sense, because if you just allowed anybody to

Correct.

If you're just going to text me, give me my money back.

I think that's a slippery slope.

And I, I understand why Austin wouldn't want to do that.

Like I think, yeah, let's get Lorraine on the phone and let her tell me how she felt as opposed

What is the exchange here because everyone wants to provide better service.

And so if you are requesting money back, what can I do better in the future?

Right.

I think that's a fair exchange to say, you got these two things wrong.

And like, I don't even like the color yellow.

And I felt like you were leading me in a way that felt in authentic and

Yeah, I mean, and it's interesting.

Cause obviously Lorraine has the guts to write a review and put this out there for the world

But I think we have enough information to crown.

When do you think?

Yeah, I guess I did say, yeah.

Okay.

All right.

So Chelsey and I each have our own set of one to five crown cards and in an effort to

The Queens are Tabulating.

Um, are you ready?

Let's do it.

Total Score!

Oh!

You can't see it because it's bright-

Green!

The green screen.

Okay.

That sucks.

I'm holding up two crowns.

Trey is holding up three crowns.

Why'd you do two?

I did two, because I just don't really trust Lorraine.

I'm sorry, Lorraine, but I don't think I trust your assessment of the situation.

I don't think it was so unreasonable for Austin to ask for a phone call before getting a refund.

I don't think anything so egregious was done and it seemed like you were very closed off and not

So for that reason, I'm giving you two crowns, mostly for spelling, I guess?

And also your character.

I know who you are.

I, I tend to give points for that.

So that's it.

How about you, Trey?

Why'd you do three crowns?

Well, I was between two and a half and three, but I ultimately went

I can't decipher if this is a common experience or a fluke experience, but

- Chelsey Donn: Right.

Exactly!

But it does occur to me the instances where the numerology

s sort of like that sort of like lands with me, but overall the impact is muddied

I think it would actually shape my intentionality for getting a numerology reading.

Which is why I gave it the extra half crown to make it three-

Yeah, or maybe questions you would ask upfront in terms of like, expectations.

Exactly.

So that's why I went with her.

Love it.

Oh my gosh.

I hope Lorraine gets some better answers in life.

Yeah, I hope you got what you're interested in and maybe you should wear blue.

Lorraine.

How does blue feel?

Does blue feel good?

I feel like their ora is blue.

Yeah.

I'm feeling blue for you Lorraine.

Alright, So let's take a quick break.

And when we come back, we're going to hear an entirely different side of the story.

Oh, yes, we are.

Love it.

All right, BRB.

Hold your crown.

We'll be right back.

Chelsey and I are so excited to share this exclusive Review

Now from the makers of BarkBox, Super Chewer is a monthly subscription-based service for those

Every month you and your pup will receive a box right to your front door that is

Super Chewer is offering listeners of Review That Review one extra month free when

Sign-up right now at www.Superchewer.com/Queen.

It's One-Star-Zinger time!

Chelsey, you better get ready because we 'bout to strap in and take a

Oh, my Goodness.

'I don't feel like an icon.

Most of the days, I feel like 'I can't!' That's with an,.

A'..

Here's the deal.

Trey and I have each picked a rotten, scathing, pithy One-Star-Zinger and with 30 seconds on

Just like Queen Meryl Streep, who does it all!

Before the clock runs out.

Alright, Chels!

What have you got for us today?

A little bit of Nancy Drew realness from Nancy G.

Nancy G has written a one star review of the Psychic Eye bookshop on Ventura

They have good prices on crystals and stuff.

But now I'm super curious cause Nancy G says, 'Horrible place.

I've been seeing on Facebook what happened to that girl and her daughter!'

What?!

What happened to that girl and her daughter?

I didn't have enough time to Google it, but like maybe I'll do it as a Patreon

But like Nancy G is a very Nancy Drew.

Oh my God.

Alright.

Isn't that crazy?

Okay.

And today you're going to, you're going to be strapped in on an Egyptian pyramid.

Ooh, spiky.

Pointy!

All right.

You ready?

Yes!

3, 2, 1, GO!

WWE

horrible place.

I've been saying on Facebook.

What happened to that girl and her

horrible place I've been seeing on Facebook?

What happened to that girl and a daughter?

True crime documentary,

horrible place I've been seen on Facebook with

that girl and her daughter

lifetime.

I've been seeing on Facebook.

What happened to that girl and her daughter pop star.

God, it's so hard.

That's all.

Oh my God.

Okay.

You got five.

I did?!

Well, I gave you pop star cause you really committed.

Oh my God.

I have to know what happened.

I'm going to search as soon as we get out of here.

Yeah, we 've got to follow up on that.

I know.

Hilarious.

All right, Trey.

Tell us is your One-Star-Zinger also on theme?

I think, it might be.

Yeah, I was worried we were going to do the same one, but we didn't.

So today I have a One-Star-Zinger from Amazon by Salman.

Do you usually pronounce pronounce the L in salmon?

Well, wait, how do you spell salmon, the food?

S A L M O N

Right this is S A L M A N.

Hmm.

Confusing.

Salman R.

Salmon?

Salmon.

But even Solomon is spelled M O N.

Yeah.

Maybe you're right.

Maybe it is Salman.

Okay.

Salman R.

I guess.

I don't know.

Okay.

So this is Salman R's one star review on amazon.com for the Hasbro

Ooh, that's a good one.

Trey.

I found a lot of reviews that I was like, oh, this could be an actual entry one day.

So this is a zinger.

Salman writes, the subject is-

NO WAIT!

Let me.

I have to tell you what you're strapped in...

Oh no.

Yes.

Oh, uh, do you want to tell me, what are you strapping me in on?

Tell me first.

I want to strap you into like a whole Tarot deck.

Like you are the deck.

I am a card sharp.

Yeah.

Okay.

All right.

So let me channel that.

And I'm going to tell you Salman's one-star review is subject, 'one star' and their

Use at own risk.'

Now I have to move away!

And eight people found this helpful.

What did the Ouija Board say?

Salman wow.

See, we both have mysteries today.

It's true.

Oh, that's true.

All right.

I'm on my tarot deck.

Alright get on your tarot deck.

Strap in and let's do this.

Okay, I'm ready and go!

3, 2, 1, GO!

Musical theater.

No, I have to move.

Southern now we've got to move

a white use at your own risk

breaking

news.

Now we have to move away.

Use that own risk

adult fail

now

at.

Disney.

That's all.

All right.

I'm going to give that to you because you gave me pop star.

I think you won, Trey.

Let's just make sure.

Yes.

Trey, you won with six!

Good job, Queen.

Queening at this game!

Oh, thank you.

It's just an honor to be nominated.

Yes.

Review That Review.

All right.

We are back from that...

should I say it?

'Rousing' game break!

I like intentionally don't write the word, 'rousing'

I know!

and I have to say it!

It was rousing.

I was excited.

All right.

We're we're back from that game break.

It was super fun and it is my turn now.

I would call that game break, 'rousing!'

I would that rousing.

I'm very roused.

Okay.

So anyway, We're going to hear the other side of the story and they just quite a laid out story.

So, so buckle in!

Crystal P has a totally different opinion of Astrology by Austin.

Okay.

Are we ready?

I'm ready.

Okay.

I had a reading with Austin a week ago.

I had checked out his website and liked that he was a young man that stood out

I wasn't looking for a psychic, just wanted a true, genuine reading of what

Reading a general daily or yearly horoscope prediction that is supposed to be accurate

There's always so much more to you than what your sun sign is.

Your moon sign plays a very big part in your personality and is based on

I knew it would be worth the time to find someone like Austin that could just tell me

Austin arranged for us to meet at a small quaint coffee shop in Santa Monica.

My initial thought of seeing him for the first time was relaxed.

There's this comfortableness about him that is instant.

Plus he's extremely easy on the eyes.

Pictures do not do him the justice he deserves, and that's always a bonus.

Yet trust me on this.

There is NO arrogance about him.

He comes across very relaxed, even humbled, kind, gentle and caring.

He had my chart ready and got right down to business.

It wasn't all good.

Told me of a particular month that was pretty much going to be extremely tough.

Didn't say why, and I don't need to know why, but how cool is it to know rough

Kind of nice to know if you ask me and I appreciate the heads up.

Also let me know that another month will be the beginning of great things career and money-wise.

Of course, he also went into detail about my personality and how to get the

Gave me printed out detail sheets with handwritten notes on the side that we discussed at length.

He nailed my personality without knowing me at all.

Overall, I felt enlightened and almost didn't feel like I needed or even wanted the Tarot reading

Wow.

But boy, am I glad I did that as well!

Another unexpected reading.

What's cool about Austin is you don't feel you're with some person who is so full of themselves

He's definitely confident and speaks with the voice of authority, but it comes across in the

Obviously, I will know in about six months, how all of this truly materializes and believe

I highly recommend him to anyone who is interested in a solid reading

I did not do the numerology and I'm seriously considering it.

Alright.

Oh, intriguing little sign off there.

I know.

Um, so there was not an update as of yet.

I was going to ask.

I know.

And this was written in 2014, so you think that there would be an update!

And they said they will be back.

Crystal was not honest with her commitment.

Ugh, I feel Jiffed.

Although, Crystal owes me nothing.

She doesn't.

But she definitely had a lot to say about Austin and I think she's got a little crush!

Okay.

Wait.

Cause I totally went on that rollercoaster ride.

I wrote down Crystal's horned up over Austin!

I know!

But then I really felt very strongly that at the end.

Crystal was saying like Austin's demeanor, isn't pompous or like cocky.

It's just like a quiet confidence.

That's matter of fact, it, honestly, by the end of the Review!, I was like,

Crystal was really taken, but that's less fun.

I think crystal wanted to like, she wanted that magic stick.

She said he looked better.

I, it felt like-

a Hinge date.

A date.

Yeah.

Like as if they matched and then they met at this coffee shop and, oh my God, he's even

I wrote down.

Like, I think this is actually an insult, but Crystal says my first thought: relaxed.

I'm like, Your first thought of me.

Is that relax like that?

Actually, it's really funny to me.

Yeah.

I agree.

Also super shocked that they met at a coffee shop.

I thought that this would have to take place like, in a velvet curtained room with a crystal ball.

Like, I didn't think you would do this where people are like, "Espresso!"

"Coffee for Michael."

Yeah.

I was surprised about that too.

Yeah.

All of this is going down publicly in a coffee shop, while Crystal's looking Austin, up and down.

Do you think that Austin bought the drinks or do you think

In this case?

I would think Crystal would buy the drinks.

For Austin?.

I don't know.

Yeah.

I really love the fact that Austin came total opposite spectrum here.

Austin was thoroughly prepared with printouts to take home.

I thought that was so generous and awesome.

I thought it was really interesting that Crystal didn't do the numerology.

I was glad that she said that in the end, cause we just had the experience of the

Like maybe I wonder if there are other reviewers that had a positive numerology experience

I mean, in my very minimal understanding of mysticism, I, I know

People really are skilled at individual things.

And I believe that astrology really is very mathematical, very scientific.

There is an art to deciphering and understanding what is there and what is prescribed based

Right.

Yeah.

I really am having an impact that Austin really is incredible at this.

I think so, although it's so hard, cause I, I just feel like we're,

And maybe there was something in the actual reading that felt very specific, but there was

Or I dunno like that there are these generalized statements.

That's a good point.

Also, this is going to be a good month for money for you.

Like that seems very generic.

Yeah.

Like any of that, a fortune cookie could tell you just as much, but maybe there was

Well, that is sort of maybe an interesting tell that

Because I think that if something truly remarkable, like it, if something, it makes

Like if she won the lottery after he was like, you're going to have this windfall.

Then she would come back and be like, oh my God.

He said I was going to have a windfall.

And now I won the lottery!

Which he didn't necessarily say.

True.

But the overall impression.

Do you think it goes beyond attraction?

Do you think that Crystal was just so taken with Austin, that they were like,

Oh, better than the pictures.

Let me like give him a five star!' Or do you think,

I do!

I think, I wonder if Crystal's a little bit of a Cougar because she kept

Like a young guy!

And they intentionally picked Austin for being male

Right.

And B for being the type and the style that they were, because yeah, that,

I don't know.

I definitely think that there's a crush.

And being told there, like I picked up on the language at the end

Right.

Yes.

Yeah!

Also I wrote down with an asterix, like the other end of the

They printed out the chart, they printed out the slips and paper to take home.

I also really just love the verbiage of the astrology can help you get the most out of

Yeah.

And I think that's sort of what I was getting at before, when we were breaking down, the

But I think sometimes people have false expectations of these interactions and they

Like It's...

they give you this information and even a great psychic that gives you information.

That's all it is.

They can just give you the information and then it's your decision, what you want to do with that?

Correct.

All right.

What is Crystal's spelling and grammar like?

Very good..

Okay.

..To great, I would say.

Do you think this is a...

see, now I'm confused.

I wonder if this is more common or if the one-star is more common, but then

Right.

Yeah.

So I don't know.

I mean, the only thing I'm I'm like, Ugh.

Like, can I, if I was reading through reviews based on Crystal's, Review!

would I say, 'oh, gotta go see Austin.' Or would I be like, 'maybe she has a crush

I think I would have to, I don't think I would be able to be full stop

I mean, I do think the statement of like, I didn't even need

Just like for fun, because I felt like this was so impactful.

That's a huge statement to me.

Yeah, that's true.

I think I could crown this.

Um, I think I can crown too.

I'm ready.

Okay.

I wonder what the coffee shop was.

I know!

The Queens are Tabulating.

Hmm.

I'm so torn.

I know.

Total Score!

Oh, interesting.

Okay.

So I'm holding up two and a half crowns and Trey is holding up three crowns.

All right, Trey.

I almost gave three crowns as well.

I was very torn.

Tell us why you gave three crowns.

I almost a three and a half.

I did three.

The largest impact here is like, I might want to wear cologne and like,

Yeah.

You know, I, I do think that, like you were saying, I would need to continue reading

But the impact here for me is I think Austin is going to really provide.

A lot of information from my chart, if I'm getting an astrology chart reading, but it's

But then I don't know.

I don't know that I would want this reading done in a coffee shop.

I don't think I would want a little bit more energy, like focus, but, uh, it wasn't humorous.

And like, I don't know if Crystal is just like thinking from their sex organs.

So for that reason, it's sort of middle of the road.

My overall I'm overall left with a positive feeling, for Austin, but I'm

Why did you do two and a half?

I also agreed.

I thought it was middle of the road.

So I took, I, I just went straight down the middle.

I agree.

I thought it was helpful to know that we might be meeting in a coffee shop.

Cause I definitely think that that would impact whether or not I move forward.

So that is good information for me to know.

There weren't that many specifics.

I don't even think you need to get into the specifics.

If it was such an amazing reading, you could have just had, there were things that, that

I was like, Ooh, that feels very overall, not like specific advice.

And I was just not that pleased with Crystal overall in the sense of, like I said,

It's interesting because like we were talking about wanting proof

But yeah.

So if I'm reading a lot of five stars, like I do want examples, I want to know, like

Yeah.

They just didn't feel like there was any concrete evidence.

It was all very general.

So I-

Other than Austin's looks!

Other than Austin's looks, which I got to say, give Crystal a little bit of props

I mean, get it Crystal!

All right.

What do we think overall about Austin now that we've read both?

I don't know.

Like, do we feel like we, we would, we could make an official crowning of Austin,

I don't know.

I think honestly, like, because my belief is that astrology is very mathematical.

You just need a good interpreter.

I think I would feel confident in going to Austin for that.

Okay.

I don't know that I don't know anything about

So I can't really neither of the here they're there, but the Tarot, I'm curious.

I want to know more about that too.

I'd be intrigued to go.

I don't think that anything.

It's not like dropping the wedding cake.

Like, I feel like I would be like, sure.

Like, why not?

Like, why not?

What do you feel?

Yeah.

I mean, I think I feel similar.

Like, I don't think I've heard anything in either one of these reviews that makes me feel like

Even the negative review.

I'm like, ah, I'm not willing to.

give you a full demerit based off of that one-

Correct.

..Star review.

So because of that, I'm going to say like, ah, do Iknow, I don't really know, but I

Austin, If you hear this, please reach out to us.

If you're like nose is itching or your ears or whatever, isn't there

Yeah.

Yeah.

Austin knows!

You're psychic and you knew we were going to do this before we even did it.

So there you go.

I would actually be really creeped out if he called and left a voicemail.

Anyway, we've reached the most Regal portion of our show.

Where are you inducting, Trey for

My Royal Highness.

Okay.

Today I'm going to induct someone that is close to me.

And that would be my brother-in-law, Evan Kimbell.

Okay!

So something that my in-laws always say who you marry is so important.

And I feel very fortunate that my sister married this person named Evan who well he's.

He was raised on Long Island.

Oh!

A Jew!

Oh hello!

Met my sister because of being in South Carolina.

Two Gerrald's married Jews.

Oh, good fun fact!

I know.

The goys, they're takin all the men.

I know.

So anyway, I really appreciate the relationship that I have with Evan.

It's always been very easy and simple, no drama.

And Evan has been such a supporter of this podcast.

Was more than willing to leave us a review and listens every week when running.

So high Evan!

Surprise.

Hi Evan!

Thank you for listening!

Wow.

Right.

Also, I just think that Evan has been such a great dad to my two nephews.

And I am really grateful that he is in my family.

And as like a straight dude, there can sometimes be like a little bit of an emotional barrier.

And I've never really felt that with Evan.

And I just really appreciate the way that he treats my sister and that he and I can

And I don't take that for granted.

And so this week nominating you, Evan for My Royal Highness.

Evan.

You're so sweet for listening.

Thank you so much for tuning in every week.

That's the sweetest, what a good brother-in-law!

Now he needs to join the Patreon!

Well, one thing at a time.

Let's not push Evan.

Okay?

Alright.

How about you Chelsey?

Who were you inducting today for My Royal Highness?

I don't know why I haven't done the sooner, cause it's like one of

All the time, morning, noon, night.

She makes my life so much easier.

My carpets are cleaner.

Sometimes Goldie needs a friend, you know, I can let, I can love them chase one another.

You don't know, you need, you think like, Hmm, maybe I need a robo vacuum, but then you

Like, who am I?

What was life before robot vacuums?

So I think we got to give props.

You have a robot vacuum, Trey.

We have the same one I think.

We have the same one.

And it's great.

And it's not the famous brand.

No and it's not the famous brand.

It's not, it was it's the affordable option.

Don't you think makes your life easier?

I can't contribute to the conversation because Winnie hates it.

So I can't contribute.

So I want to let you...

Okay, well, if you didn't have Winnie, who hated robot vacuums,

Love it.

Thank you.

Thank you to my robot vacuum, Roosie, but to all the robot vacuums out

So deserving!

uh, all right.

Well, we did it.

My Queen that is another entry closer to sleuthing out the ultimate, the truth of life.

I mean, there's a lot for us to dig through you guys.

We're just two people, but we are making it work.

Thank you so much for joining us today.

If you like what you heard, the best, best thing you could ever do for us would be to share that

If you love us.

And if you don't like what you heard.

If you don't love us, just go ahead and tell an enemy.

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Talk, talk, talk.

We are very excited.

We are pulling the name from our Exclusive Mailing List Raffle!

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From Goldie, the dog psychic!

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Review That Review is an independent podcast.

Certain names have been redacted or changed to protect the guilty.

Executive Produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn, with editing and sound design by Trey

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