We communicate all day, in meetings, texts, relationships, yet most of us were never taught how to do it well. We learned what to say, rarely how to be while saying it. And maybe that's why conversations break, not over words, but over what's happening beneath them.
In this episode of The Mindful Journey, host Sana sits down with communication coach and former award-winning journalist Michael Ashford to explore communication as a practice of awareness, not just a skill. Michael walks us through the ASK then SEE approach to conflict, why certainty often quiets curiosity, and how noticing your body in a tense moment can shift the whole conversation. A slow, thoughtful unpacking of how self-awareness reshapes the way we connect.
About the Guest:
Michael Ashford is a leadership and communication coach, former award-winning journalist, host of the Rethinking Communication podcast, and author of the book Can I Ask A Question? He brings 15 years of marketing leadership experience across startups and private equity, along with his journalism background, to the work of helping people communicate with clarity, curiosity, and care.
Key Takeaways:
- Most of us communicate from a lack of curiosity. We rarely pause to notice why we use the language we use, or the emotion sitting underneath it.
- The metaphors we reach for shape the conversation. Treating business as a war invites one kind of behaviour; treating it as a playground invites another.
- In a tense conversation, your body speaks first. Noticing a quickened pulse, clammy hands, or a tight chest is the first step into mindful communication.
- The ASK then SEE approach: Assume positive intent, Set aside your ego, Know you don't know everything, then Search yourself, Explore other perspectives, and Exchange curiosity through real questions.
- Swap "I think" and "I believe" for "based on my experience" or "based on what I know." It leaves room for other truths without losing your own.
- Before responding in any difficult conversation, ask yourself two questions: what is my goal here, and do my actions actually move me toward it?
Connect With the Guest:
Episode Chapters:
[00:00] Opening Reflection — The Strange Thing About Communication
[02:30] Meet Michael Ashford: Journalist, Marketer, Communication Coach
[04:00] Where Most of Us Go Wrong: A Lack of Curiosity
[07:30] Metaphors We Live By — War, Sport, or Playground?
[10:00] From "I Think" to "Based on My Experience": Language That Invites Dialogue
[13:30] What Mindfulness Actually Looks Like in a Difficult Conversation
[16:00] The ASK then SEE Approach Explained
[21:00] Dunning-Kruger, Nuance, and the Two Questions That Change Everything
[24:00] Where to Find Michael and His Work
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