Alan interviews Barry Moulsdale on this week’s episode of Mindful You. Barry Mousdale is the Founder and Managing Partner of Anfield Business Consultants. Barry talks about the importance of self-awareness as a leader and how many leaders across the globe lack this important skill. In order to be a great leader you need to be vulnerable and honest. Barry believes vulnerability is one of the greatest traits a leader can possess. As a leader you need to be in the present moment and truly able to listen. Barry is of the opinion that with emotional intelligence you can lead your team to their highest potential.
About the Guest:
Barry Moulsdale is the Founder and Managing Partner of Anfield Business Consultants, one of the most professional organizations in the leadership development, career coaching and strategic business consulting fields.
Barry has 25+ years of leadership experience heading many divisions of multi-national consumer goods and manufacturing companies in North America. Having undergone his own successful leadership journey, Barry formed Anfield 16 years ago to bring joy to people’s work lives and guide them on their journey to reach the pinnacle of leadership.
When he is not coaching, Barry is a happily married, father of three, living in Oakville, Ontario Canada. He spends his free time coaching his youngest son and teammates in Little League Baseball, attempting to lower his golf handicap, enjoying the peace and tranquility of nature and walking and playing with his 2-year old Mini Aussie Labradoodle, named Scout.
About Alan:
Alan Carroll is an Educational Psychologist who specializes in Transpersonal Psychology. He founded Alan Carroll & Associates 30 years ago and before that, he was a Senior Sales Training Consultant for 10 years at Digital Equipment Corporation. He has dedicated his life in search of mindfulness tools that can be used by everyone (young and old) to transform their ability to speak at a professional level, as well as, to reduce the psychological suffering caused by the misidentification with our ego and reconnect to the vast transcendent dimension of consciousness that lies just on the other side of the thoughts we think and in between the words we speak.
Personal: https://www.facebook.com/alan.carroll.7359
Business: https://www.facebook.com/AlanCarrolltrains
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/aca-mindful-you/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mindfulnesseminar/
Web Site: https://acamindfulyou.com/
Welcome to the mindful U podcast. Today's
Alan Carroll:guest, Barry Mozelle, who has spent over 25 years focusing in
Alan Carroll:on the conversation of developing leaders, developing
Alan Carroll:executives, how can you build successful teams? How can you
Alan Carroll:navigate through the churning things and issues and ups and
Alan Carroll:downs of the situations that we're facing in our societies
Alan Carroll:and our businesses worldwide. And I'm happy to have him today
Alan Carroll:sharing about how mindfulness being present, communication is
Alan Carroll:all a part of developing leaders. So I'd like to welcome
Alan Carroll:Barry to the mindful you podcast, I bury the listener
Alan Carroll:with a question about leadership. Let's start with a
Alan Carroll:question about mindfulness. And how do you see, first of all,
Alan Carroll:how do you see mindfulness and the ability to be present and
Alan Carroll:mindful in the moment? And how is that connected to being a
Alan Carroll:leader and being present in the moment?
Barry Moulsdale:Great question. I would say that the number one
Barry Moulsdale:flaw that we observe in leaders, is a lack of self awareness. And
Barry Moulsdale:what I mean by that is, it usually takes leadership 360
Barry Moulsdale:reviews, or takes personality assessments for them to better
Barry Moulsdale:understand their own motivators or behaviors, or blind spots, to
Barry Moulsdale:have a better sense of self. And then we go through an exercise
Barry Moulsdale:or practice that really shifts them from being a reflexive
Barry Moulsdale:leader, to being a more reflective leader. And the irony
Barry Moulsdale:of this journey, Alan is, if I were to ask 100, leaders, how
Barry Moulsdale:would they naturally solve this simple problem, over 80% of them
Barry Moulsdale:would admit or say that they would do it the right or the
Barry Moulsdale:reflective way. But the irony is when you then put them to task
Barry Moulsdale:and you role play, and video, record them, solving a very
Barry Moulsdale:simple everyday problem 99.5% of those people recorded, and we've
Barry Moulsdale:recorded in this journey, not me, but the people who utilize
Barry Moulsdale:this intellectual property have recorded over half a million
Barry Moulsdale:people doing this, and 99.5% of them no matter how friendly they
Barry Moulsdale:are, naturally, act like they're in the Savannah versus the
Barry Moulsdale:business world, and instinctively solve the problem.
Barry Moulsdale:So the reason I say that is, it's two things. One is being
Barry Moulsdale:mindful of self, and being able to understand and go through
Barry Moulsdale:assessment and discovery and feedback, to get a better real
Barry Moulsdale:perspective, not how you see yourself, which matters, but
Barry Moulsdale:more importantly, how others see and interact with you. That will
Barry Moulsdale:be number one. And then number two, and I can relate to this,
Barry Moulsdale:because this is exactly the journey I went on, that drove me
Barry Moulsdale:into wanting to do this for so many others. Number two is, even
Barry Moulsdale:when you've learned those tools, you're shifting from what I call
Barry Moulsdale:Allan, an unconscious incompetence, meaning you just
Barry Moulsdale:saw the only one know why you instinctively do it, through a
Barry Moulsdale:mindfulness journey, all the way through to what we call
Barry Moulsdale:unconscious competence, to then know and have the natural skills
Barry Moulsdale:to actually be reflective in any interaction with your people,
Barry Moulsdale:your clients, your customers, and anybody else. And the
Barry Moulsdale:difference is actually being able to effectively listen. And
Barry Moulsdale:being mindful of the situation. And being mindful that the
Barry Moulsdale:person you're in front of has a story to tell. They have
Barry Moulsdale:challenges that they're facing. And instead of solving them for
Barry Moulsdale:them, when you think you're doing a great service. They
Barry Moulsdale:think like they ultimately walk away being told and feel
Barry Moulsdale:dismissed and feel sometimes even to the point of stupid,
Barry Moulsdale:right? You thought you were in there great. They didn't see it
Barry Moulsdale:the other way around. So it's being able to be mindful of
Barry Moulsdale:putting yourself in the other person's shoes and asking the
Barry Moulsdale:right questions and structuring the conversation. Giving your
Barry Moulsdale:data to make sure you're aligned. And then collectively
Barry Moulsdale:working together and empowering that person who has the problem
Barry Moulsdale:to go off and then try to solve the problem. So it's it's
Barry Moulsdale:certainly a strong sense of awareness, maybe not exactly the
Barry Moulsdale:scientific term of mindfulness that you're offering. But
Barry Moulsdale:ultimately, what it boils down to, is being mindful in the
Barry Moulsdale:moment. And one of the things that we teach people is how to
Barry Moulsdale:observe when they're really good at it. And then observe when
Barry Moulsdale:they're still challenged with as they're moving from conscious
Barry Moulsdale:competence and awareness of the skill to then making it
Barry Moulsdale:subconscious or unconscious. And to having that happening
Barry Moulsdale:naturally. You know, things like leaving your phone on the other
Barry Moulsdale:side of the room, closing your laptop and moving to another
Barry Moulsdale:part of the room. So you're having a one on one discussion
Barry Moulsdale:intently, without distraction, as a leader, not worrying about
Barry Moulsdale:being efficient, to keeping the trains running on time in your
Barry Moulsdale:schedule, but being effective and present in the moment with
Barry Moulsdale:that person, and then utilizing all these tools.
Alan Carroll:Wow, so many, so many sweet words, you said there
Alan Carroll:that are just gold minds to be able to uncover self awareness,
Alan Carroll:observation being in the present moment. All those are terms that
Alan Carroll:I mindfulness person would say, Yep, the idea is to be present
Alan Carroll:in the present moment. But then then the question is, well, if
Alan Carroll:they're not present in the present moment, if they're not
Alan Carroll:self aware, then where are they? Where are they in their head?
Alan Carroll:Where they're not? If they're not here in this meeting? Where
Alan Carroll:the heck are they?
Unknown:They're, they're thinking about the problem that
Unknown:came up themselves they have to solve. They're thinking about
Unknown:their calendar, and what's next? And how do I get this person out
Unknown:of my office, so I can get my five minute break in. So I can
Unknown:answer those three, pending urgent emails, and so on, and so
Unknown:on and so forth. Right? It's the natural inclination that leaders
Unknown:feel that others observe them to have to be efficient. And look
Unknown:like they've got it all together. But in reality, none
Unknown:of us have it all together. Right? So it's the ability to be
Unknown:vulnerable, and admit that and be humble, and show weakness,
Unknown:and show that you don't have the answers. Like, you know,
Unknown:everyone's given the great interview advice. If you get
Unknown:asked the question, and you don't know the answer, or via
Unknown:customer and sales, you'll make way more of a positive
Unknown:impression on that person. They say, You know what? I don't know
Unknown:the answer. I'm sorry. But you know, what I'm gonna do, I'm
Unknown:gonna get you that answer. I'm going to commit to finding that
Unknown:answer. And through hell or high water, and I know it's dependent
Unknown:on the people getting me that answer, I want to get back to
Unknown:you in this amount of time. Right. So it's that mindfulness
Unknown:and that commitments to being humble and vulnerable. That
Unknown:impacts our interaction with other people, whether it's in
Unknown:life, or whether it's in work, or whether it's, you know, in a
Unknown:pyramid organization, where you have the authority of being a
Unknown:boss, but an authoritative boss, who has the title. And I'll
Unknown:refer to John Maxwell, a very good leader who writes on
Unknown:leadership, good level one is you have a title because you're
Unknown:the boss. Yep. There's five levels to evolve to. Right, and
Unknown:we help people on that journey to understand them, and how to
Unknown:apply different tools in becoming that fifth level
Unknown:generation. Fifth Level category, if you will, a leader.
Alan Carroll:Let's take a look at that word. vulnerability.
Alan Carroll:Sure. And we'll look at the word of characteristics of a
Alan Carroll:professional leader. I'll use the word professional leader,
Alan Carroll:someone who, who has been in the been in the driver's seat has
Alan Carroll:driven the vehicle has experienced, and on the journey
Alan Carroll:they have learned how to be more reflexive, be more aware of what
Alan Carroll:is going on in the reality in which they live, and some of the
Alan Carroll:characteristics of a person who is good at the game that good at
Alan Carroll:the leadership game. And one of the ones he pointed out was the
Alan Carroll:area of vulnerability and being able to not have it all
Alan Carroll:together, to be able to realize that most of the knowledge in
Alan Carroll:the world you don't know. And so often, you're going to be asked
Alan Carroll:what are what are the answers and vulnerability means exactly
Alan Carroll:what But you said is that, I don't know, however, I work for
Alan Carroll:the largest organization in the United States, and we have
Alan Carroll:resources. And that's why you want to do business with me,
Alan Carroll:I'll go contact my resources. And I'll get back to you. And
Alan Carroll:one of the characters
Unknown:go on, for sure. And to take that further, you know, all
Unknown:the great leaders, I've had the fortune to either work with
Unknown:train interview on my YouTube Leadership Series will however I
Unknown:find them and interact with them. The vulnerability comes
Unknown:from just a more human to human mentality and approach. They
Unknown:don't wake up thinking that these are my employees, they
Unknown:wake up thinking about, these are people on my team. These are
Unknown:people whose lives they have a responsibility for, and not just
Unknown:themselves, but also their families. And the best quote,
Unknown:ever heard of a leaders was, hey, if I'm never the smartest
Unknown:person in the room, as a leader, it's time for me to leave. I
Unknown:need to be the most mindful person in the room to your point
Unknown:earlier. But I have absolutely should not ever be the smart and
Unknown:just admitting that is the first step in vulnerability to
Unknown:surround yourself with subject matter experts who know a heck
Unknown:of a lot more than you do. Regardless of whether the topic
Unknown:is HR, finance, sales, marketing, operations, logistics
Unknown:supply chain, I can go on and on. But that's what makes a
Unknown:great leader is understanding that of self.
Alan Carroll:I love it. I love it, I think of a Tony Robbins
Alan Carroll:quote. And Tony Robbins said you want to operate with people who
Alan Carroll:are league above you. And it's like, oh, no, they're much
Alan Carroll:smarter than me. Well, you know, the, the tide rises all the
Alan Carroll:ships. So by hanging out with people who have a greater
Alan Carroll:understanding of the subject matter, allows you to be in that
Alan Carroll:vibration, you know, and begins to elevate yourself.
Unknown:And if you're comfortable in your own skin,
Unknown:and humble enough to admit you don't know, and that's why you
Unknown:surround yourself with subject matter experts. In essence, by
Unknown:choosing to do that, you're actually showing the first stage
Unknown:of vulnerability, because you don't fear replacement. You
Unknown:don't fear not being the smartest, you don't fear not
Unknown:being seen as the highest IQ. What great leaders all have in
Unknown:common Allah is they have enough practical experience and acumen,
Unknown:to have acquired enough level of IQ, to understand concepts to be
Unknown:in the present to digest information. Yep, and offer a
Unknown:perspective or an opinion that has business IQ sense related to
Unknown:it. But that's just the only have to have enough of that.
Unknown:What truly great leaders have is the highest level of EQ. And if
Unknown:there's one common trait amongst all the different personality
Unknown:types, regardless, people used to think in the 60s, oh, the
Unknown:aggressive dominant drivers are are the only ones that make the
Unknown:best leaders, not the case. So it's having that EQ and self
Unknown:awareness and understanding the personality traits of others,
Unknown:and chameleon yourself to how to relate to this person, because
Unknown:there are this personality style. And these are their
Unknown:specific intrinsic motivators. And vice versa, depending on the
Unknown:situation, and who you're in front of just that conscious
Unknown:awareness of adapting itself to the individual nature of that
Unknown:one other person at a time. And that's only level two or three.
Unknown:That makes a huge compelling impact on the receiver of that
Unknown:interaction on that exchange.
Alan Carroll:Wow. So let's go back and get the definition of
Alan Carroll:EQ so my audience will know what that means. Yeah, basically,
Alan Carroll:it's
Unknown:emotional intelligence. It's the other type of
Unknown:intelligence where there's lots of batteries of tests out there
Unknown:that measure your IQ, you know, how, how intellectually smart
Unknown:are you? Emotional Intelligence is how aware of environments are
Unknown:you? Do you have the ability to understand someone else's
Unknown:motivations? Do you have the ability to observe and
Unknown:understand why people behave the way in which they behave? Do you
Unknown:have a comprehensive understanding of your own blind
Unknown:spots, to know that in moments of pressure and stress, this is
Unknown:a natural tendencies that in which you naturally revert to
Unknown:under pressure and higher though Have behaviors impact others.
Unknown:That's really emotional intelligence. And being aware in
Unknown:the moment.
Alan Carroll:That's very much tied in with mindfulness.
Alan Carroll:Mindfulness has a lot to do with being able to have. One of the
Alan Carroll:sayings is, you're welcome to have strong positions. But hold
Alan Carroll:them lightly. And when you have a strong position, you can hold
Alan Carroll:it lightly. It allows for flexibility. And flexibility
Alan Carroll:allows for listening. So how, how does listening affect? Being
Alan Carroll:a being a great leader to me is connected with listening?
Unknown:No, that's a fantastic question. And, you know, I'm I'm
Unknown:a naturally analytical thinker. So every time I'm making a
Unknown:point, I will probably reference a statistic because it kind of
Unknown:drives the point home in my personality. But, you know, 90%
Unknown:of people listen, to wait our turn to talk. 10% of people
Unknown:actually listen effectively. And obviously, I've met you for the
Unknown:first time I'm doing my second podcast interview ever. Right? I
Unknown:have to listen intently to know and hear and understand the most
Unknown:part, I heard your question. Did I understand your question?
Unknown:Right? Do I then create the time regardless of what amount of
Unknown:silence gap there is, it shouldn't matter, that
Unknown:uncomfortableness of silence is actually a good thing. Because
Unknown:if your brain doesn't work to the answer as necessarily fast
Unknown:as someone else in the room who may or may not, again, back to
Unknown:mindfulness and self awareness, that's not a flaw. That's not a
Unknown:crush. That's not a weakness. I'm going to take the time to
Unknown:reflect on your question. If I don't understand your question,
Unknown:I'm then going to ask you to clarify it. Number one, right.
Unknown:If I do understand it before he answer, I'm still gonna get in
Unknown:the step with you. Right, and give you a listening statement
Unknown:to confirm. Before I answer, I heard you properly.
Alan Carroll:That's excellent. Excellent. That's, that's shows
Unknown:that I'm actually effectively listening and not
Unknown:just waiting for the pause, to jump in in that state.
Alan Carroll:Wow, that's great. The I find that the listening is
Alan Carroll:a challenge for many people.
Unknown:And often when you say that, right? As an example, I
Unknown:always say to people, think about how intensely you listen
Unknown:to your children, when they come to you in tears or having meat.
Unknown:It's your natural instinct to watch, you may have still want
Unknown:to solve, which is wrong. But you still want to understand
Unknown:because you have an emotional connection to helping that
Unknown:child. Conversely, how many times do we all have the skill,
Unknown:right? That we're doing something important, whether
Unknown:it's reading, watching a football game, we're in our own
Unknown:zone, and your wife comes downstairs and starting to talk
Unknown:to you? Right? And you're like, yeah, oh, yeah, I heard. You're
Unknown:not You're not You're not paying attention. You don't pause the
Unknown:game. And now we have the power on PVR. To pause it. That's
Unknown:right. Yep. And be intentional. And give them your presence.
Unknown:Right. But because we have such a comfort level, in that
Unknown:relationship, there's almost an anticipated behavior that your
Unknown:wife expects, they're going to be like, Yay, I heard. That's
Unknown:great. All she's looking for is the wave of acknowledgment. But
Unknown:imagine the impact if you actually pause the game, got up,
Unknown:turn towards them, made eye contact and said, Sorry, honey,
Unknown:I missed that. The game was still on. I wanted to give you
Unknown:my undivided attention. What is it you want to talk to you about
Unknown:for five? Right? The impact? So if you naturally know for your
Unknown:kids, and you naturally don't do it for your wives,
Unknown:theoretically, right? And you can sure don't get me wrong,
Unknown:right? But you think about those two extremes. And how you can
Unknown:bring presents, which again, relates the mindfulness to the
Unknown:conversation or one of the things that we teach is how to
Unknown:make sure you are acting, mindful and acting reflectively
Unknown:but also, when you put it into practice, that sounds great in
Unknown:theory, but that's why you have to continue to use the muscle
Unknown:and we make our people follow up with us. and give us every
Unknown:single week we talked to them. Give me the best two examples of
Unknown:you applying this last week. Fantastic. Now let's talk about
Unknown:the two times where you didn't think you were as effective. And
Unknown:you didn't feel like this was unconsciously competent, and you
Unknown:kind of revert. And what we study is, was it the person you
Unknown:were dealing with their harder style to understand, was it the
Unknown:environment where their external pressures were on the other
Unknown:environmental factors, because we've seen and heard every
Unknown:single scenario where people still struggled to do it. So
Unknown:it's not like an online course you can learn and then go apply
Unknown:and hope you succeed. The benefit for us is, the more
Unknown:sticky it gets for you. The more potential it is they you see
Unknown:this awakening or this magic, as we like to call it. And the more
Unknown:people you're going to tell about as a positive awakening, I
Unknown:like to call it crossing the leadership bridge, because
Unknown:you're always on a movement journey, and you come to that
Unknown:bridge, where you're either going to stand there for the
Unknown:rest of your career, you're going to dip a toe the wrong way
Unknown:and drown. Or you're going to take the time and invest in
Unknown:yourself to move across that bridge. And sometimes the bridge
Unknown:can be smooth and slow. Sometimes the bridge can be old
Unknown:fashioned and rickety. It really you really defined by your
Unknown:application and commitment to it, what type of actual bridge
Unknown:your journey is. And then the beauty of getting out on the
Unknown:other side of it.
Alan Carroll:And crossing a bridge that tricky day requires
Alan Carroll:courage sometimes. So I would imagine courage is part of
Alan Carroll:leadership. Also.
Unknown:I was saying that. The number one thing that I look for
Unknown:in prospective clients, when I'm having a conversation with them,
Unknown:is not what they can afford. It's not how much time are they
Unknown:willing or not willing to commit his life is busy. It's really
Unknown:about courage. I asked, I literally asked them to rate
Unknown:their courage on a scale of one to 10. And then give me two or
Unknown:three examples of why they gave me that number, whether that's a
Unknown:pro or con. Sure. Because I think people have to reflect
Unknown:inside themselves to say, Do I know I have a need, that's
Unknown:probably the hardest part of leadership. To be honest, Allen
Unknown:is people having the self awareness and mindfulness to
Unknown:your point to to see all the challenges going on their
Unknown:workforce, and their workplace results. People, clients,
Unknown:vendors, union, all the everyday challenges we go through to have
Unknown:the mindfulness, the self awareness to say, maybe I'm the
Unknown:problem, maybe I need to go and do better. Versus that person
Unknown:has got to go on a performance plan that person we need to get
Unknown:rid of that person we need for probably moved from that seat on
Unknown:the bus, to that seat on the bus, the last thing people ever
Unknown:look at is themselves. So to do that, takes courage. And then to
Unknown:reach out and inquire and find assistance to recognize you can
Unknown:be better. It's something takes courage. But all the great
Unknown:leaders I talked to, and all the great leaders I interview
Unknown:because they're really good case studies, the number one
Unknown:commonality other than vulnerability. And humbleness is
Unknown:they've all had formal leadership training at some
Unknown:point throughout their careers. And they've all got that thing,
Unknown:whatever it is to go back and refer to as a refresher, or to
Unknown:replenish that muscle, if you will, as their as a reminder
Unknown:when they face more challenging times.
Alan Carroll:Wow, that is great. What a rich, rich
Alan Carroll:conversation Barry, we have a couple of more minutes and I
Alan Carroll:really would like my audience to have an opportunity. If they
Alan Carroll:wanted to connect with you want to find out more about your
Alan Carroll:organization, how they how they can do with that. Also, all your
Alan Carroll:links will be included in the show notes, turn it goes out to
Alan Carroll:the distributed to the world. They'll be able to see all the
Alan Carroll:details, but go I'm
Unknown:sure at the end of the day. We have created and I'm the
Unknown:founder of a leadership program called the boost Leadership
Unknown:Program. And unlike fancy acronyms like smart goals, boost
Unknown:is exactly what it says it is for boosting leadership
Unknown:performance. Whether that's amongst a leadership team, or
Unknown:whether that's individually one on one. It's a 90 day program
Unknown:designed to move you to becoming that truly reflective leader
Unknown:away from a natural instinct of being a reflexive leader to move
Unknown:you from either level one, two or three If you think about John
Unknown:Maxwell's five levels of leadership, we take leaders on
Unknown:that are level one, level two or level three, and we migrate them
Unknown:within 90 days to level four and level five.
Alan Carroll:And what would be the website that we could
Alan Carroll:contact you on?
Unknown:We are at www Enfield business consultants.com. I'm
Unknown:originally from Liverpool, England, and I'm a huge global
Unknown:football supporter, not American football, even though I follow
Unknown:the NFL. So for lots of you, that would be considered soccer.
Unknown:And Liverpool is one of the most famous clubs in the world. The
Unknown:stadium that they play at is called Anfield. And the theory
Unknown:or the tagline around the Liverpool Football Club is
Unknown:you'll never walk alone. Our company tagline is you'll never
Unknown:work alone. We're here to be your partner. We're here to help
Unknown:you on your journey. And we're here to help you succeed.
Alan Carroll:Wonderful. Well, Barry, I thoroughly enjoyed the
Alan Carroll:just a little touch of a deep conversation. And I appreciate
Alan Carroll:you sharing your wisdom and knowledge on your journey. And
Alan Carroll:thank you very much and I would like to continue. Can't do it
Alan Carroll:today. But I'd like to continue our conversation on leadership
Alan Carroll:because you're a rich resource for our audience.
Unknown:Anytime. I'd love to join, it's a topic that I have a
Unknown:great passion for I never get tired of talking about.
Alan Carroll:Well thank you very much for your time.