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Are you putting off fun activities until you find that special someone? Well, let's chat about why we shouldn't wait around for a partner to start living our best lives! This episode dives into the idea of seizing the moment and doing things solo, whether it’s traveling, trying out new restaurants, or even adopting a pet. I’ll share my own journey of embracing solo adventures, like my first solo trip and attending concerts by myself... trust me, it’s a game-changer! So, grab a comfy seat and let’s explore how to stop waiting for permission and start doing the things that bring us joy, all on our own terms.

Takeaways:

1. We often hold ourselves back by waiting for a partner to enjoy life, but there's so much we can do solo right now!
2. Whether it's dining out or traveling, don't wait for someone else to join you; start living your life fully today!
3. Feeling judged or insecure about being single? Embrace solo activities to boost your confidence and self-acceptance.
4. Being single is an opportunity to explore interests and hobbies without waiting for anyone else's approval or company.

The podcast dives into the idea that many of us often put our lives on hold, waiting for a partner to join us in our adventures. It's like saying, 'I'll travel when I have someone to go with,' or 'I'll start that hobby once I find a buddy.’ But guess what? We don’t have to wait for anyone! The host, Wioleta, shares her personal journey of learning to embrace solo experiences, like taking that first solo trip which ended up being one of her favorite things to do. She urges listeners to stop postponing their dreams and desires, whether it's getting a pet, moving to a new city, or even just enjoying a fancy dinner alone. Wioleta emphasizes that life is happening right now, and we deserve to live it fully, regardless of our relationship status. Throughout the episode, she discusses various activities that people often defer until they find a partner—like attending concerts, moving to a dream city, or even things as simple as decorating a living space. With a touch of humor, she talks about the pressures society places on being coupled up and how this mindset can lead to missed opportunities. Wioleta encourages listeners to take the leap into doing things solo, suggesting that this can actually build confidence and lead to unexpected connections with others. Her message is clear: don’t wait for someone else to live your life. Embrace your individuality and make the most of your time now!

Are there activities you're putting off until you have a partner? Hi, welcome back to All About Being Single. Or welcome if you're new here. I'm your host, Wioleta. Okay, let's get down to business.

So last episode we talked about just kind of fantasizing about things that you want out of the future and maybe fantasizing about a partner and like what your life is going to look like once you have them.

So this episode I want to talk about what it looks like to not wait to do things or to start doing things that you want to do until you have a partner.

So maybe you're waiting to do a bunch of stuff once you have a partner, once you're in a relationship, once you're married, whatever the case might be, you know, basically when there's someone else there to do it with you. This also could be about like friendship. So it doesn't have to just be all waiting on like a romantic partner.

This could be, oh, I'm waiting to do stuff until one of my friends wants to go do it with me or until I have more friends. And it could be things like, you know, traveling. Maybe you want to travel more. It could be just going out to nice dinners.

It could be buying a house or buying a condo, buying townhouse, maybe even starting traditions, maybe moving, you know, maybe out of state, out of the country, out of the town that you lived in. I mean, maybe even moving out of like your parents house if you're a little bit more on the younger side.

Maybe you're waiting to buy a house because you don't want to be like responsible for just fixing it by yourself.

Maybe you're waiting to get like a dog or a puppy or a cat, you know, based on what your partner they're gonna possibly have at some point in the future, you know, maybe that they'll have a dog. So you don't want to get a dog. Maybe you want a cat because they might have a dog. Whatever the case might be.

Maybe could be going to concerts, writing a book, leaving a job, starting therapy, celebrating yourself and your accomplishments. It could be even stuff like that.

Maybe it could be just fixing stuff around the house because you don't think you're capable of it, you know, so kind of like leaving all the DIY stuff till you have a partner.

Could be for us women, you know, shaving consistently when you're single, getting a pedicure, because maybe you're, you know, single and it's wintertime and you don't think anybody sees your feet. Maybe it could be like buying better underwear because, you know, you're not sexually active, you're not, you know, with anybody.

So you're like, well, my underwear doesn't matter what it looks like. Maybe you're waiting to like decorate your house until somebody moves in with you or, or until you date somebody.

Maybe you're waiting to start like a cool new hobby like rock climbing until you can go with somebody like a friend or starting a business or you know, buying a new, bigger bed.

You know, maybe you're like waiting to be with somebody until you buy like a king size bed instead of a queen size bed or you know, cooking fancy dinners at home. You don't want to cook fancy dinners by yourself. You don't want to go to like fancy restaurants, fancy Michelin rated restaurants by yourself.

Maybe you don't want to get new nice sheets until you start dating somebody.

Could also be like feeling related to, you know, maybe you're kind of waiting till you have a partner to feel chosen or to feel secure or to feel like your life has officially began.

And let me tell you what I've learned through the last 20 years is that we are all alive now, today, as of this moment, that you're listening to this and, and we deserve to. And almost like, well, not almost.

We definitely owe it to ourselves to not wait for this like fantasy partner or you know, to wait for other people like your friends or family.

If there's things that you do want to go out and, and you just don't have people that want to do it with you because those things may or may not happen.

And then you're like giving up on opportunities of things that you do want to try or things that you do want to do consistently because you like them. And I always say it's, again, it's better to just do them now.

Just start doing the things that you want to do because you know that you want to do them.

You don't have to wait for permission, you don't have to wait for somebody else to do it with you again, whether it be a partner or a friend or a family member, you can just go out and do these things, any of those things that I just mentioned or anything else that you can come up with.

And if there's anything else that you can come up with that I maybe didn't mention that you think is important that you started doing by yourself because maybe other people didn't want to go and do them with you, whether it be again, friends or partners, please go to all about being single.com and leave us a voicemail. Also, if you haven't already, please subscribe or follow this show wherever you're listening or watching, because it is now on YouTube.

Just so you don't miss any future episodes.

But going back to the content of this episode, somewhere along the way we were made to feel less than and almost like not full adults because we're not coupled up because we're single and that some things we have to wait until we're coupled up to have. Like, I mean, I've lived by myself for what, eight years now, I think coming up on nine.

So I definitely have spent a lot of time by myself, hanging out by myself and only like out of those. I've only dated people for like a little bit less than two years because I had two boyfriends while living by myself.

And like even living by myself, it wasn't until like five years, I believe, of living by myself that I took my very first solo trip. And now it is absolutely one of my fucking favorite things to do was taking solo trips. Like I prefer them over any other kind of trip.

What I'm trying to say is nowadays there's so many things people can do by themselves. Like people can even have a child by themselves and it's not even like socially unacceptable anymore and you don't have to have one.

Like, I know, for example, I don't have the financial means to have a child by myself. And I believe that, at least going into it, I believe that it should be like a two parent household.

And I know obviously at any point things can change. So I'm not saying that like it should always be a two parent household because life is unpredictable. You never know where it's going to go.

What I'm trying to say though is I would never. Well, at least at the moment of saying this, I do not want to have a child by myself.

So while I know that there's ways of doing that, I, I personally don't want to do that. But I did want to mention that as an example. Like, there's just so many more things we can do by ourselves.

Look, you can go to a sperm bank and have a child by yourself, or you can adopt a child.

What I'm trying to say throughout this whole episode is you can do things by yourself and sometimes they seem very difficult to do at first, very frightening to do at first, and sometimes you might not even like them at first. I know this is totally off topic, but like, I remember the first couple of times I tried like an avocado toast. And I just hated avocados.

And I would have to, like, have mayo underneath the avocado for me to kind of start liking it. And now I wouldn't even put the mayo on there. I love avocados.

Like, a lot of times my breakfast is, like, one egg and like a quarter or half of an avocado. And I love it.

But so what I'm trying to say is, the more you do something, you know, it's almost like give something a try a couple of times, because you might not enjoy it the first time, or maybe, you know, due to other circumstances, the thing didn't just vibe with you that time, but then if keep doing it and doing it, you know, the more you do it, the more you might like it. Wink, wink. We don't have to wait on others, on anyone. Friends, family, partners, imaginary partners, future possible partners.

To do most things in life, we might think that doing stuff with others might make us feel maybe less alone or less judged or more secure or more legitimate.

But actually, what I've also come to realize the last eight years or so is that it's actually in doing those things in this world by yourself that makes you feel less alone, less judged, more secure, and more legitimate. It's not doing those things with other people. It's going out.

And by doing those things by yourself that you feel less alone, less judged, more secure, and more legitimate. Because the more stuff you do by yourself, the more confident you'll be.

Like, the more confidence you're going to gain, which might even help you when you do go out and try to meet people like a partner. Plus, you can meet so many cool strangers while you're doing things solo.

And I think you might even start seeing so many people out and about by themselves that you probably weren't even, like, aware of, that you probably didn't even notice.

I promise you, once you start doing things by yourself, if you haven't yet, or if you have, I'm sure you're listening to this and you're, like, just going along with it, and you're like, yep. But you're gonna see that more people than you think do things in this world by themselves. And I love that for them.

And if you know me, sometimes I use I love that for them in a negative way. And I do not mean that in the negative way here.

So what My never again is that I will never not go to a concert or any kind of an activity, but definitely especially a concert, because I love. I love going to concerts for certain people. And if my friends or a partner doesn't want to go, I will not, not go to a concert.

So actually, my no leg to stand on is right before this trip, right before I went to see By Myself solo concert, I had two women and one guy just be so, like, against me going. And just, like, I would never go to a concert by myself and just looking down on me with it. While the women were doing that more so than the guy.

The guy was also single, but also just mentioning how he wouldn't do it. But the women were coupled up, and you already know it.

I would never be in either one of their relationships based on the shit that I've heard them say about their relationships. And it's always. It's always those kind of people that, like, try to push you down and make you feel worse.

And at this point, I was a little insecure about going by myself because this was the first concert I was going to by myself. So it didn't feel great hearing them. Oh, I would never do that by myself.

What I'm trying to say is there's certain things that you shouldn't just say to people. Like, don't tell people how you would never go to a concert by yourself and be so unsupportive about it.

There's no need to bring somebody down for trying to live their life without a partner. But, yeah, so I just, you know people. You know people. Again, great concert. I loved being in Columbus. Actually, Columbus was super cute.

I went to, like, a farmer's market that weekend.

When I went, like, the day after the concert, I literally talked to, like, eight different people while I was at the concert, A few of them being single. I think two of them were there by themselves, too. It was a great time, and I was so happy. I was, A, so proud of myself for doing it.

B, I was just happy that I did it. And C, I knew now that I could do basically anything by myself.

And I literally recently just booked tickets to go see Zach Brian, also in another state, for his concert. So I'm super excited.

And I do actually have a friend who goes to concerts, like, 30 times a year, which I think is so cool because it's, like, one of his main hobbies. And I know he also goes by himself sometimes. Hello, Diane. Is. It's actually not doing things by yourself. It's doing things with yourself.

So if maybe you need like, a reframe, that's a good one to have, you know, instead of saying, I'm going to dinner by myself, you can just say, I'm going to dinner with myself to know yourself, to enjoy yourself, to enjoy your life with yourself, because you are living with yourself. And so the note to self, before we do our little dance break, is, what's something you've been wanting to do but haven't?

Because you're afraid of doing that thing by yourself or again with yourself now with the reframe. Or maybe you're afraid of what others might think about you doing it by yourself again with yourself.

You know, maybe because you're afraid of doing it, maybe you're afraid of what others might think about you doing it. Maybe you think it's a waste of time.

You know, maybe again, you do think that it's just something that you're gonna start doing once you have a partner, that it's not something that's worthy of doing right now. So just think about that. Jot it down, write it down, say it out loud to yourself. Or maybe come back to it later on if you wanna dance with me.

Because, you know, I love dancing and I always say dance every day.

So I'm gonna take my little break and after I come back and you have some time to maybe think about that, I'll tell you what my answer is and we'll do our glow up. And then that's it. That's the episode.

And actually, I'm going to ask you for one more thing before the break, if you could please, if you haven't already, please review this podcast. So if you're on Apple Podcasts, please actually review the podcast, not leave like a comment, but just review the podcast and give me a rating.

I would really appreciate that. I really appreciate you listening and I definitely also appreciate you taking the extra time to show the love via review. Okay, I'm back.

So talking about the note to self, this is something I've been actually trying to work on this winter. So I don't shave my legs consistently when I'm like, single.

And I'm just in the process of trying to change that because my body does deserve to feel, you know, the feeling of the freshly shaved legs more often than not. So that's my goal for the next few weeks, is to really just get in the habit of doing that.

I definitely feel like I don't need to only shave my legs often in the winter time when I have a partner. I also deserve to have those freshly shaved legs and, you know, get in bed after freshly shaving your legs. And I know if you know, you know.

Okay, so now let's go and do the glow up, whatever it is that you wrote down for your note to self, go do that thing this week. So whatever came to your mind, you know, for the note to self, just go and try it out.

I do think it'll make you stronger especially, or even if it's not that pleasant at the time, you know.

So again, like I mentioned earlier in the episode, just because you don't necessarily love the thing that you try doing by yourself or again with yourself the very first time, doesn't mean that it's not something you should do again. It could be something that you shouldn't just do again.

But it might just mean you might, you know, need to try it out again and again and again before you really start enjoying doing it by yourself. Like, I know it took me a while to be comfortable going out to eat by myself.

And even sometimes nowadays when I do walk into a place that I've never been to by myself, or a place that I have been to where I'm avoiding people that I know, I do get a little nervous walking in.

But then once I sit down and I always do bring like a backup thing, you know, so I always have either my headphones or like a book or like an audiobook or like a podcast to listen to, but so I always have a backup in the case. Like there's no singles around me that I can talk to at the bar if I'm sitting at the bar. Sometimes I just sit at a table. So it just depends.

But either way, even though I've been doing it for years at this point, I still get a little nervous at the very beginning as I walk into the restaurant. Because you just never know.

Sometimes it might just be one of those restaurants where it's just all couples and you just feel so awkward or it's just all couples that day. Or again, you're just a little bit more self conscious that day or whatever the case might be.

But either way, you know, sometimes we gotta feel the fear and do it. Anyways, on that note, thanks so much for listening. I love the fact that we're building a community here.

Always remember that even if you're late, you're right on time. I will talk to you next Tuesday. Make a life. Make a life. Sample.