Hey men, welcome back to the podcast! Today, we’re going to kick off a three part series titled, “When it is tough to lead.”  The Bible makes it clear that the mantle of leadership in the home and in the church has been placed on men. --

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Ephesians 5:22-30 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. 25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word.[b] 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. 30 And we are members of his body.

• 1 Corinthians 11:3 But there is one thing I want you to know: The head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.
• I think the command is clear.  I think that men who are really pursuing God and trying to live by his standards want to do it, or at least recognize they’re called to do it.  But how do we do it? How do we do it when our wife has been a Christian longer or has more Bible knowledge than we do? How do we do it if our wife is walking away from God? How do we lead in the home when our children are rebelling from God?  That’s what we’re going to try and answer in this series.  Today, we’re looking at how to lead when our wife has been a believer longer than us, or has more Biblical knowledge than us.  And I want to start with this…

Be Thankful 

If your wife has been a Christian longer than you, or has more biblical knowledge than you, thank God for her.

• I’m not saying that it can’t or doesn’t create a set of problems.  It can.  But what a great problem to have. If this is the episode in this series that you’re battling, I guarantee you the guys who are battling with the next episode, how to lead when your wife is walking away from God, would trade places with you in a heartbeat.  
• Let me read a couple of verses…

Proverbs 31:10-11 Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. 11 Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life.

Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;  but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.

• Thank God for your wife and her love for him.  Thank your wife. Ask your wife to forgive you for not spiritually leading up to this point if you haven’t been. 

Initiate, Initiate, Initiate

Leading means initiating.  Initiating time in prayer and initiating time in the Word. 

Leading isn’t the same as teaching. Teaching is an element of leading, but leadership is much broader.  You can lead in service, reconciliation, and direction for your family.  Ephesians 5:22-30, 1 Peter 3:7, Ephesians 4:32 

• Initiate Time in Prayer 
• Initiate Time in the Word
• Doesn’t mean you have to give your wife a sermon.  You can read together.  You can ask her what God has been saying to her in her time in the Word.  You can share what God has been saying to you in your time in the Word. 
• Initiate Connection

1 Peter 3:7 

In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.

• Some translations - the weaker vessel.  Physically weaker is part of that, but I think it’s more.  Treat her with care. Help her to feel cherished. 
• When initiating connection, evaluate if your family is going in the right direction. Are you keeping the main things the main things? 
• Initiate Reconciliation 
• Ephesians 4:32  Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. 

Lead for Growth

Don’t confuse Biblical knowledge or literacy with maturity. Help your family grow in maturity, not just knowledge.

1 Corinthians 8:1 Now concerning[a] food offered to idols: we know that “all of us possess knowledge.” This “knowledge” puffs up, but love builds up. 

• Hopefully, if your wife has ore biblical knowledge than you, she is also maturing in her faith.  She’s going full circle. If so, praise God.  She’ll probably be excited that you’re stepping up to lead now.  If not, help her grow in maturity. 

Luke 6:46 Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do what I tell you? 

• How do we approach our wives when we need to correct? We need to remember we’re a plank eyed sinner - check our motives, check our own sin issues, gentleness