Welcome to episode one of Three Rebel Souls — the “holy shit, we’re really doing this” episode.

In this first conversation, we’re pulling back the curtain on the alchemy of us: who we are, how this friendship became such a sacred mirror, and why we felt called to hit record on the kinds of conversations most people only have behind closed doors.

We talk about what it means to be truly seen — not the polished, palatable version of ourselves, but the messy, tender, still-figuring-it-out parts too. The parts that are scared to be too much, not enough, misunderstood, or rejected. And we name the truth that so many of us are craving the same thing: real connection, honest reflection, and the kind of friendships that remind us who the fuck we are when we forget.

This episode is part introduction, part confession, part love letter to authentic friendship. We share pieces of our own stories, the fears that come with being vulnerable, and the deep medicine that happens when women stop performing and start telling the truth.

We’re not here as gurus. We’re not here because we have it all figured out. We’re here because we believe our stories — told honestly, without shame, and with a little laughter along the way — can help all of us feel less alone.

So grab a seat. This is where the masks come off, the real talk begins, and we remember that becoming ourselves was never meant to be a solo journey.

Mentioned in this episode:

Wrap up by Stacey

findyourkula.com/threerebelsouls

Welcome to Three Rebel Souls

Well, here we are.

Finally.

We're doing the thing.

People can't see that, can they?

We can do.

We can do YouTube version later.

Oh, my goodness.

How are you feeling?

One word.

Excited.

Happy.

Excited.

Scared.

Excited.

The good kind of excited.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm nervous, too.

I'll get scared until we start.

What?

I won't be scared until we, like, okay, let's publish.

Once it actually goes live.

Yeah.

Right now it's just us hanging out, which we do that every week, so.

That's true.

I'm happy now.

We're just.

Yeah, but it was so much more intentional this time.

We're being more intentional this time.

So I'm like,.

Well, the whole point is that this is uncensored, that there's no rules, that we are really just pressing record on our conversations because we sort of felt this pull to share our stories and to kind of model what friendship has looked like for us and how we've, like, kind of grown together.

So where do we want to start?

What does this mean to you?

What are you excited about?

What are you scared about?

I'm excited to.

To share our conversations.

Right.

Like, the things that we talk about because is what's helped me so much in my growth.

And I guess I'm scared.

Although not as scared as I was in the past.

To just put myself out there, like, that's scary, right?

To.

To just allow everyone to see me.

But it's.

But it is exciting at the same time.

I definitely feel more comfortable with it today.

Yeah.

To be seen.

That's definitely the scary part, too.

Especially.

Especially since a lot of what we talk about, for me has been, like, depths that I've never shared with anyone else.

Mostly because I felt like I couldn't.

Right.

That's why.

I think that's why we knew that this was, like, important.

It's going to be hard, but it's important.

And so I am excited for that because I feel like the more that, like, I've gotten quote, unquote permission from others who are doing similar things or kind of stepping into their authenticity.

And honestly, if this gives one person permission to do the same, then I feel like, yeah, we did a good job.

Yeah, definitely.

Right.

But also, I hope people laugh and I hope people enjoy.

Right.

The ridiculousness of our conversations or.

Or, like, kind of climb into the depths with us and feel less alone.

Yeah.

I was gonna say I hope that they feel like they're part of this.

Right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Because they are.

They will be.

Yes, they are.

Because I might not know you or your name or what you do, where you're going, where you've been, but I love you, so.

Yeah.

And in some ways we do know.

Right.

In some ways we do know, because we've lived some of those things, and maybe the experience wasn't the same, but maybe how we felt was the same.

Maybe what.

Maybe how we coped was the same.

Right.

And by us sharing those things, they're going to see themselves in that.

Yeah.

Just like we've seen parts of ourselves in each other's stories, even though they're not all exactly the same, there's similarities, and it's helped us feel less alone and kind of lean into this.

This work and this friendship and everything that we've been able to build.

So I love.

Yeah.

Which is funny, because I feel like, you know, like, you just said, like, that we found ourselves in each other with, like, our stories, that we've had similar stories where if we hadn't known that about ourselves before, like, would we still be friends?

Like, would we be friends?

Would we have been friends when we didn't know that?

When we hadn't started doing the work,.

When we didn't know ourselves?

Right.

Exactly.

I didn't like me, that is, years ago.

I wouldn't expect y' all to like me six years ago.

Yeah.

Word.

But I think that's just it, right?

No, that's totally it.

Yeah.

Because the things that I see in you that I love so much now are things that are reflected back to me that I love about myself now or things that I hated because, like, I was telling Adriana yesterday, I'm like, you would have.

I would have been so pissed, you know, because you just speak your mind and you're out there, you know, and it went like the.

When I do that, people yell at me.

They don't stay rowing.

Don't do that.

And.

And just to be completely authentic here, I'm kind of transitioning in life still.

I'm a little bit behind Adriana and Erica.

So you're part of that for me.

You're not behind trying on a new.

Persona that I hope to grow into.

So you might hear two different names.

So don't get confused.

Yeah.

Or don't be.

Yeah.

You know, one thing that I was thinking that after we said that last night was how I think I see.

For me, I.

It's not so much.

I wouldn't have been thinking so much like, oh, do you like me?

Because I think I would have just been rejecting you off the bat, but not because I Wanted you to like me, but I would have made myself inferior to you, you know, because I would have seen Erica, and I've been like, oh, my gosh, she's so smart.

And, you know, like, the way that she expresses herself and, you know, like, I just.

I would have been like, I don't like her.

You know what I mean?

And then, like, say, like, you know, so it.

So it's not so much of, like, looking like, oh, are you gonna like me?

I'm just gonna reject you before you get the chance to reject me, you know?

Yeah.

And I mean, subconsciously, I would have done that, you know, And I think I would have done that with the same thing with Stacy.

Like, she's so patient.

She's.

She really thinks, which is so not me before she speaks, you know, like, I have no filter.

And I just.

It just.

I mean, I shouldn't say that.

I think I've gotten a lot better, you know, about it.

But in the past, no, I just blurted out whatever, and I think I just would have been like, I. I don't like her.

I don't like her because she takes to.

I don't have the patience.

I don't have the patience.

She takes too long to respond.

And why is she thinking, like, doesn't she know.

Just say it?

You know what I mean?

And I.

And I would have just.

I would have cut myself off from it.

So I would.

I wouldn't even thought.

I wouldn't have thought, like, I guess unconsciously I was thinking that they're not going to like me because I was.

I was actually putting you guys on a pedestal.

Would have put you guys on the pedestal.

And so I would have been like, oh, no, I'm just going to reject you first.

That's funny.

Yeah.

See?

And the thing now.

Well, now that you say that, I feel like the thing that would have triggered me about you is the kind of, like, off the cuff or, like, the unapologetic nature of the way you communicate.

Because I internalize every thing.

And I have been afraid for most of my life to say the thing because of.

Because of the old, like, people pleaser tendencies.

So I.

To your point, like, I think years ago, that would have triggered me not because I don't like that quote quality, but because I was envious of that quality.

Right?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

But, yeah, very similar to Adriana is.

I don't.

I couldn't even count how many times I've said, oh, yeah, they don't like me.

But it was a protective mechanism.

I don't think so.

I think that was me.

I don't like me, So how could they?

Wow.

Yeah.

And now I'm like, oh, yeah, they don't like me, and they love me.

Now it's because.

Now it's because I know me, and I know I can see how they are uncomfortable or I'm triggering them or do you know what I mean?

And now it's not a reflection of me.

It's a reflection of them.

Yikes.

Yeah.

So that.

So.

And for you.

The thing that I feel like would have triggered me previously was the.

The lightness with which you approach hard things.

Like, even just now when you were talking about that stuff, you have this adorable little giggle, and that would have probably triggered me because I take everything very seriously, and it's all about, like, precision and perfection, and I have a really hard time with play and joy.

Like, I actually.

I actually struggle with that.

And I feel like I'm now attracted to people in this phase of my life who bring that out of me because I know that I need it.

I know it's a thing that I have a hard time with.

And so I love that, like, air of we take the work seriously, but we don't take ourselves seriously.

And I think that's what's helped me find maybe a little bit more, like, joy or lightness in the journey.

It's also the reason that I was attracted to my partner.

Right.

Like, it's.

It's all about, like, play and fun and joy and silliness, like, not having to be so buttoned up all the time, because that's how we lived our lives when we were younger.

It was all about the appearances.

Right.

It's all about, like, making sure that everything looked great from the outside, regardless of, like, the inner turmoil that caused or what it actually was on the inside, which I don't think is an un.

I think it's actually a very common thing that a lot of folks in.

In, like, our generations are coming to terms with now.

That, like, shedding of the.

The pleasing tendencies and the perfection.

Like, keeping up appearances, like, being inauthentic.

Yeah, yeah.

Following someone else's rulebook or checklist.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The things that I appreciate most about you guys now are the ways that you challenge me and hold me accountable.

Yeah.

Like, the number of times in our conversations, Adriana, where I've said, like, well, I just.

I don't like that.

I don't like that thing that you just said to me, which probably means I need to take a closer look at it, but whatever.

Off.

And then the number of times Stacy will just ask a very pointed question.

Yeah, that just cuts right to my soul that I'm like, okay, well, the way you gently hold up the mirror with a very curious and pointed question.

Yeah, I feel the same way.

Those are the things I value the most.

I love how you both.

I just have accepted me as I am.

Right.

Like flaws and all.

Like.

The fact that I can be myself, even though I do feel that I hold back at times.

But it has nothing to do with you guys.

It just has to do with.

With me, you know, with.

You know, this is still having that as a fire sign of someone who's so honest and can be so blunt and just say things.

I have been too much for a lot of people.

And so it's almost like that's kind.

That it's still somewhat there.

And at times I'm.

I. I second guess myself and I'm like, oh, that might be too much.

So I hold back.

Right.

So it has nothing to do with anybody telling me or, like, I mean, you guys telling me that it's too much, but it's almost.

That's still playing in my head a little bit.

But I am way.

I am the most comfortable with you guys that I've ever been with any friends.

And it's just.

And it's just because of all the growth that we've done together and the safe space that we've created for each other.

So I. Yeah, I value that a lot.

Well, I'm glad to hear that we're your favorite friends, since you're the only.

You have other friends.

One out of the three of us that has other friends out outside of this little circle of.

Yeah, we always make fun of Adriana for having plans with other people besides the two of us.

Also, we can't fault her because we live on complete different corners of the country.

That's true.

We live in.

We all live in different states.

You're allowed.

You're allowed to have other friends, I guess, as long as we stay your favorite.

I do have other friends, but they are also in other states, so I can't go out with them either.

Right.

Yeah.

All right.

I just don't have other friends.

I'm kidding.

I'm kidding.

But I definitely.

These are.

You're my favorite friends.

I'll say that.

Yeah.

Well, we've touched on it a tiny bit already, so really quick just to.

To dig in a little bit more.

And.

And I'm going to answer my favorite things.

About you guys and follow it with some astrology because we're referencing some elements and so maybe we could clue everybody in on that in a second.

So.

But yeah, Adriana, you know, my Aries moon would always say, never, ever hold back your fire.

Like, bring it.

I need more of that.

The authenticity, the.

In your face, blunt honesty to me is more valuable than any politely worded.

That is definitely not me.

Say the thing.

Say it.

And.

And your water.

Right.

The.

The deep feelers.

It's okay to feel deeply.

That's actually a superpower.

Right.

Like in.

In seeing you live that so fully now.

Like, as.

Feel like I've been given permission to do that as well.

They always had huge emotions.

Like, they're just gigantic.

I. I cried very easily as a child.

In any situation, as Eric mentioned, I will laugh.

It'll do.

Especially if it's inappropriate.

And especially if it's inappropriate.

I love.

Right.

That's my.

That's my first response to most things is laugh.

It doesn't matter if it's awful or hysterical.

I've had so many conversations with you where you were, like, deeply uncomfortable with, like, the.

The.

Not the topic of conversation, but the idea that, like, there's a growth opportunity there and there's some, like, challenge.

Right.

It's when you're in that stretch zone and.

And all you can do is giggle because you're like, oh, this is the most uncomfortable.

That's how I know you're uncomfortable is that there's like the little giggle.

That.

Laughter and anger are my easy go to's.

Like, that's Stacy's feeling something.

If she's laughing or she's pissed, there's deep emotion happening or crying.

And then Erika, I'm a Gemini rising, Aries moon, Taurus sun.

So you'd think I'm pretty grounded, but I work very hard at it.

Actually.

I was looking at my chart with Adriana yesterday, and it's mostly air and fire, but.

Yeah.

So Erika, Gemini, sun, and I. Yep.

Fast minds.

We have fast minds.

And I love that we can just go that.

And that's the pause.

Right.

Adriana is.

It's.

It's not actually that I'm not thinking.

It's.

I'm thinking so fast, I couldn't actually communicate what's going on in my brain at the same speed that it's happening because it's like you say something and then I'm.

I'm running.

I'm like, I'm.

I'm in a sprint to, like, you, and I cover you Know much topics in my brain one time, and then I have to, like, back up and go, okay, how do I make this make sense?

So I feel super comfortable with Erica and that I could probably start talking without fixing, like, trying to make it make sense.

And she, like, completely follow everything I said.

She definitely does.

Yeah.

The messy.

Give me the.

Like, I can see the whole.

I can see the constellation, and my brain draws the lines with you.

Like, I can already see the whole picture.

I don't know, like, how to.

That's a good way to articulate it, but it's like.

It's not just like a connect the dots where we start at one and go to two and go to three.

It's like, it all appears at once.

And then I'm like, boom, there's the lines.

I don't.

Yep.

That is.

Yeah, we think that it's always been, like, a straight line, but it's really, like, topic, topic, topic, like, bouncing all over the place.

Like, 10 topics pop up on the screen, and you're like.

And they're all connected this way, and it's like, okay.

It's not linear, but she can do that.

So I mean.

And I'm sorry.

I don't mean to interrupt you.

Are you done?

Okay.

Like, I. I love.

I. I feel that you both give me permission to be who I am.

And I feel with you, Stacy, too, like, is the, like, that fiery side of me like, that you get, Because I guess your.

Your fiery moon gets me and your fiery Mercury gets me, but.

So I love that because I can just bird things out.

I mean, same with Erica.

But one of the things with Erica is that I love that I have these intense feelings, and I always have a very hard time expressing what that is, and I.

Sometimes.

Erica always has the words for it.

Like, I don't need to.

I'm like.

I'm always like.

And.

And this.

And then she's like, oh, and you're feeling this, that, and the other.

I'm like, that's it.

That's.

She, like, she puts words to my feelings, and I'm like, oh, such a relief.

I'm like someone who, like, I don't have to try so hard you know, to, like, express myself, because Gemini over there finds the words for them there.

There was a.

Like, a quote I saw one time that said some.

I'm gonna paraphrase because I'm not gonna get it exactly right, but it was something like.

It's.

It's something along the lines of, like, find someone who speaks your language.

So you don't have to spend a lifetime translating your soul or something like that.

It's like it's being able to like kind of understand without having to over explain.

But I also, I mean, I do, I do love words.

I.

It.

I find it easier to articulate for other people who are stumbling through a thought than it is for me to articulate myself sometimes.

But like, both of you, I feel like I've always had like the biggest feelings, like the feel, the most intense version of whatever it is I'm feeling.

And.

And that's where my like, too muchness came from.

Because obviously, like I just said, I don't.

I've always had a hard time kind of like speaking up or saying what's on my mind when it's like a hard thing or when there's any amount of confrontation or when it feels like a risk or like rejection could be involved.

I'd rather just keep my mouth shut rather than be rejected.

But the feelings have always been big.

And I also feel like our generation, like what you said before Stace, is like anger and laughter.

Like those are the things that are like, acceptable on the surface.

Right.

Like, those are more palatable emotions for a lot of people.

Oh, yeah.

But I have a lot of like, you know, like sadness or fear or like, you know, those things that was always hard to express because we were always told that that was not appropriate to express.

Right.

Like we were always told to, like, you know, suck it up or like, stop crying or like, don't bring that to work or like, you know, all of those kind of messages.

And so that's where I've felt like my too muchness always was, was in how deeply I feel.

And for the first time in my life, I feel like someone who always.

I feel like I'm with people who understand and accept the depths.

Yeah.

And not just like understand and accept, but like, you're willing to go there with me at any given time.

Right.

There's never a question which is what makes me feel so seen.

Yeah, I guess, you know, like I said before, before we were recording, but.

And now I forgot my thought.

What I.

Well, I was saying before about.

I was going to say about like the, the spiritual aspect of this, like about how, you know, going through the healing process and how it is and how, you know, finding each other.

But it's this gift, Right.

Like that you guys are a gift to me.

That's how I look at it.

Right.

Like that the universe gifted me these, these, these friendships.

Right.

That's That.

I didn't even know what they were going to look like.

Right.

Like, but here you are, people that again, maybe in the past we wouldn't have been friends, but the universe, like, but these are going to be your friends, and these are the friends that you need.

And the universe is so right.

Right.

Because it puts you with the people that are going to see you.

Like, you're going to see each other, you know, like, it's the right people for that reason.

Because, like, you said, like, that quote, like, you don't have to try.

You can just be.

And they.

They.

They know, like, they can finish the sentence for you.

And you're like, yes.

And it's such a relief because they just get you.

And I'm so.

I just can't help but say that it's.

It's truly a gift.

Oh, thanks.

Yeah, I feel the same way.

I have to say, though, like, as an extension of that thought, I was just thinking that, like, yeah, we probably wouldn't have been friends five or six years ago if we had met.

I also don't know that we would have been friends now if we hadn't met the way we did.

Because I don't leave my house.

Right.

If I would have been to leave my house to make friends and meet you guys, it never would have happened.

But luckily, our paths crossed virtually, which allowed us to meet, which is, I guess, kind of like the gift and the beauty of the universe was like, hey, here's three people who don't leave their house.

We need to put them in the same room some other way.

Yeah.

I was just gonna say the universe knows what it's doing to put us in this course together so that we would find each other.

But on the other side of that is us investing in ourselves.

Yes.

And actually creating this opportunity.

Like, absolutely.

Because if we did, everything's a choice, right?

So, like, if.

If I hadn't said, I'm going to take a huge chunk of money that I've never spent on anything bigger than, like, a car.

My God, we paid for our friendships.

I did.

We bought them.

And so, fine.

Very worth it, by the way.

Totally.

Yeah.

I. I got so much more than a coaching certification out of that.

Exactly.

So much more.

And I had no idea.

I had no idea what I was gonna.

I just went in like, oh, this is so cool.

I'm gonna get certified to be a coach.

This is great.

So it was so much more than that.

It was not only that we were investing in ourselves, but that we happened to invest in Ourselves at the exact same time and then be, like, in the same, you know, calls and same cohorts and have, like, the sort of connections or that, like, Like, I posted that I was looking for people to be my practice clients, and Adriana was the first person to mesh, message me and be my practice client.

So for, like, the first five calls we had or whatever, like, I was coaching her, which meant that, like, my side of the story didn't come out.

Meanwhile, I'm, like, bursting at the seams because I feel like from the moment we had our first discovery call, I was like, I think we just became best friends.

I don't.

I think we're going to be friends forever.

Like, I just.

It was, like that instant for me.

I hope it was the same for you.

If it wasn't, don't tell me.

But it's so funny.

Well, it's funny because, I mean, I don't.

I, I, I remember that you.

So my reason for reaching out to you was because you're a business coach.

Yes.

And I was like, that is what I need.

Yeah, right.

I mean, I know that I needed so much more, but it was a good start.

And then I went to your website, and I read about you, and I was like, holy.

I'm like, with so much.

So many things in common.

I don't remember all of them, but the one thing that sticks out the most for me was I remember you saying you wanted to be a teacher.

And I was like, me too.

And.

And I read all of it.

And so when we first met, and I said that you're like, oh, my God, we have so much in common.

And, you know, and I was explaining to you, and you're like, oh.

And then, yes, you coached me.

And then.

And then she was like, do you want to keep this going after this?

And I was like, yeah.

And we just kept talking.

Every week, same time.

Yeah.

Forever.

And.

And then when Erica was able to tell me her part, we were like, oh, my God.

And then, like, four months later, we're like, should we meet?

We should meet.

Okay, let's get.

Let's just come in.

Yeah.

And then the number of people that I was like, oh, yeah, I'm going to meet this person.

I'm going to spend a weekend it with this person I've never met before in real life.

Everyone was like, is that a good idea?

I'm like, yeah, it's a hundred percent a good idea.

And it was actually the best.

It was.

It felt like we'd met a hundred times before.

Yep.

It didn't feel like the first time we were meeting, so, like, that was.

That was our start.

And then, like, it didn't happen the same way for us.

Stacy, our.

Our relationship has been, like, carefully cultivated over time because you were so much more quiet that I was like, I don't know how to talk to her.

I don't know.

Well, let's so back up.

So I was coaching someone that met Erica in the coaching school.

Yes.

So a mutual friend.

And they started this thing that we'll talk about as we get going here, but it's called find your Kula.

And this Kula community wanted to get started and build out more of, you know, a place for people to connect and build some of the relationships like we have.

And so our mutual friend invited me to help out with some of this stuff.

This is my day job, is a team coach.

And.

Well, it was originally supposed to just be a study group for Launchpad.

Oh, right.

It was originally that we were just trying to help each other, like, make it.

When we had daily calls and daily homework, and we were.

I was like, three days in, I was like, I need help.

And I already had a business, and I still was, like, so overwhelmed by that process.

I was like, I need help.

Who can I like?

And so, yeah, I slid into Maddie's dms At some point, you all get to meet Maddie, and he was working with you, and he invited you to the study group, and that's how we initially met.

And then the study group evolved into let's build a community.

Right.

And so let me just say at the beginning, especially, like, with starting Kula, I was, you know, bringing up some old stuff going on.

I have a lot of outsider issues.

Feeling like the outsider.

So, yeah, it definitely took a little bit longer with me.

I am pretty gun shy.

I didn't.

Let's just say when we were in the coaching school, even, I was like, is this place for real?

Because I didn't believe that there were so many good people around.

Yeah.

I felt that every single day.

Right.

Or so many people that every single.

Day, I was like, is this for real?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

It took me a long time.

It was actually beautiful.

Yeah.

But so.

But part of that, too, is, like, feeling that and dealing with it and.

And realizing after I became a certified life coach, I realized how much more work I still had to do.

I was like, dang, I'm just dipping my toe into this life that I've had, and in really understanding myself and the things that I'm doing.

To hold myself back.

So, yeah, a lot of work to do still before I think I was ready to really have real friends.

Well, but also, in the beginning, we had no idea what the fuck we were doing, right?

Absolutely no clue.

We were making shit up as we went along, and we couldn't figure out, like, what it was or, like, what.

What sort of, like, roles we needed or I guess, like, where.

Where we needed support.

And I feel like that's where, like, you were so quiet.

I was like, I don't.

I don't know how to, like.

I don't know how to.

I don't know how to, like, leverage your strengths or.

I don't know, like, what.

We don't even know what this is.

So we just, like, started.

But.

But when the community opened and you were in there as a.

Like, as a member of the community, I mean, the two of you were that, like, you.

You dove in the deep end from day one.

Like, you didn't dip your toes.

You dove in the deep end.

And then I feel like I got to see you really come to life.

And then I was like, oh, I love this person.

I love.

I really like this person.

Now that she's speaking and doing, like, doing.

Now that I know something about her.

So quiet.

And then I'm like, oh, she's not.

No.

Right.

It's fun.

That's so true.

In the beginning.

So quiet.

And, you know, for me, in the beginning, with.

I'm sorry.

Go ahead, Erica.

No, I was gonna say she just chooses her moments, Right.

Like, she's very, like, introspective.

And then she opens her mouth and, like, a bomb goes off.

Yes.

Oh, all right.

But it's a little intimidating in the beginning.

Yes.

That is, like,.

Hi.

Great.

Because I might say a lot of words, but half of them don't mean she chooses her words so carefully.

Yes, exactly.

Every single one of them packs a little bit of a punch.

Which is.

You know what I was saying before about, like, that very pointed question, or it's like, when she chose to speak, I was like, okay, I like this.

Right?

So then it.

Then it shifted, and then we just made that very, like, intentional decision to really cultivate the friendship and the relationship and have, like, regular time and, like, really carving it out in our lives.

And that's where, like, a big shift happened for me.

What were you going to say?

No, I mean, I. I was going to say that with Stacy.

So I didn't meet Stacy while we were in the coaching program.

I met her at Kula.

Yeah.

And yeah.

At first I was intimidated, but I was intimidated, period, you know, too.

Like, you know, going to.

I knew that I needed to put myself out there more, to just, you know, as Maddie puts it, just take up space, you know, just show up.

Right.

Just.

I remember him saying that to me in.

When we were in the course, and.

And I was like, I'm just gonna fucking go.

You know, discomfort and all.

I'm just.

I'm just gonna do it because I knew it was gonna be good.

And also, you know, I.

You talked to me so much about Kula and what it was gonna be and the.

And I was very excited for it because I knew it was something that I needed.

So I loved showing up all the time.

And it was always.

Stacy was always there.

It was me and Stacy.

We were always there.

And that really was huge.

That was so helpful.

All those.

All those workshops that we did were all just so amazing.

And I allowed myself to be vulnerable to discomfort or even to say, I don't know.

Right.

Because that's really hard, too.

Like, it's really hard.

I think, like, a lot of times we're expected, or even I expected that for myself.

Right.

Like, to just know that.

You just know how I feel.

I should just know what.

What that is.

And.

And a lot of times I didn't.

And.

And I feel like I.

Like, I learned so much, you know, as far as, like, you know, saying that I don't know or whatever.

And I.

And also watching Stacy taking her time to answer something, I'm like, oh, that's very interesting.

I like that.

I should try that more, you know,.

Either before I spoke.

Say it again.

I'm sorry.

You both were saying at the same time.

I didn't.

I didn't.

I didn't get it.

What would happen if I thought before I spoke.

Right, Right, Exactly.

It never crossed my mind.

And then there's me who is like, feel.

Do feel something.

I have a feeling.

What's the feeling?

Where's the feelings wheel?

Right.

Right.

That feeling spiel is amazing, though.

It really is.

Well, yeah.

I had been so detached from myself for so long that every emotion equaled anger or tears or laughter that that was it.

Those were the three.

Everything.

I'm with you.

That's how I always was, too.

I was always like that, too.

And it wasn't until I think again with you guys, where, like, you're actually having real conversations and we're talking about real feelings, and then.

And then we can put words to what the.

What.

What that is.

And I Mean, I'm still figuring it out because it's still.

They're so intense, and I'm like, I don't.

You know.

Then I'm like, Erica, I still.

I still don't even know, like, how to articulate, though.

Like, why.

Because I don't think that there was ever a moment with either of you where I felt like it wasn't gonna be okay for me to be a hundred percent honest.

You know what I mean?

Like, I. I don't feel like I ever.

And maybe it's just, like, intuition.

Maybe it's, like, some of the.

The healing work that's allowed me to, like, trust myself more or be a little bit unapologetic in my.

A little bit unapologetic.

I'm not, like, a hundred percent unapologetic.

Yeah.

But to be a little bit more unapologetic or just, like, kind of take ownership.

I don't know, like, what part of it.

Maybe it's just, like, the time that our paths crossed where I was, like, finally in a place.

But I think that's the interesting, like, phenomenon, right?

Like, and they say that about.

They say that all the time about romantic relationships.

It's like, be.

Be the partner you want to attract or, like, make sure that you're loving yourself the way you want to be loved.

And I think that that's true here, too, right?

Like, I finally was in a place in my life where I was, like, loving myself the way I wanted to be loved.

And, like, I was happy with where I was.

And I was, like, not done.

The journey's never done, but I was still growing.

And then it was that signal to the universe of, like, making that.

That monetary investment in myself where the universe was like, okay, she's serious now.

Let's put a couple things in place to hold her accountable to actually doing all this.

Right.

And the accountability is actually you.

And that's where, like, I say this all the time when I talk to my.

When I talk to other people about these friendships right here is that, like, my favorite people are the ones who tell me the truth.

My favorite people are the ones who ask me really hard questions.

My favorite people are the ones who hold me accountable.

And it's uncomfortable as sometimes, but it's been such a catalyst for me.

And what's on the other side of that discomfort is all love.

Yeah.

And I was just gonna say, too, is that it's done with love.

Right?

Like, the.

The holding someone accountable.

It's like, in the questioning is done with love.

It's not doing it to, like, no judgment judge.

Yeah, yeah.

It's the loud judge.

Or to, like, throw a dig at you.

You know what I mean?

It's like.

It's not like that.

It's like, it's all out of love.

It's because.

It's because we want the best for you.

And also, you know, another thing that I was going to say before is about that you were saying about, like, the three of us and how honest we can be or the.

The most honest you've ever been is also, I think it's like, it's an energy, right?

It's an energetically aligned.

And because of that, it's also our nervous systems are aligned, right?

Like, our nervous systems around each other.

Like, we don't disrupt that we actually calm.

Which I never knew.

I never.

My.

My nervous system has always been completely irregular, you know, but it wasn't until just recently and, you know, the day it was.

But I'm not going to say it today after.

I'll just say that where we were talking and I was like, oh, my God, this is what it's like to be around people that regulate your nervous system.

Yeah.

I never knew what that was like before ever with anyone.

And.

Go ahead.

Yeah.

No.

You know what's so funny about that is I even think about, like, so Adriana and I live the closest together.

We're about two and a half, like, three hours apart.

So we do see each other more frequently than we get to see Stace.

So when I go to Adriana's house and, like, spend the weekend there, there's no.

There's nothing, like, performative about it.

There's no itinerary.

There's no schedule.

There's no, like.

There's no anything.

What?

Anxiety, right?

None.

It is the most relaxing weekend, and we just go with the flow and, like, hang out and talk about everything and Nothing and watch YouTube videos and.

Or movies or entire bags.

Like, it doesn't.

It doesn't fucking matter.

But it's because there's no.

There's no, like, expectation, and there's no, like.

There's none of that.

There's no ulterior motive.

Yes.

Right.

And that's just being together.

And that's also how it felt when we finally got to meet Stacy in person this year at the lake house, too.

Like, that weekend was amazing because we just got to be present with each other and we did some fun shit, but we also just got to be present with each other, and there was no.

Like, we also watched the Entire fucking season of Nobody wants this.

Oh my God.

That's right.

Season two.

That's right.

In a three day period on top of doing other things.

Because it's just that it's like being able to like pause it and talk about the episodes and like talk about what we're seeing, what we're feeling and like.

But it was easy, right?

It's effort.

Comfortable.

Yes.

Like, it's easy.

Yeah.

No one comfortable.

Yeah.

No one's catering to anyone.

Right.

Like, we're all.

We.

I feel like we were all like responsible for ourselves and at the same time enjoyed each other.

Yeah, yeah.

Also supportive.

Yeah, yeah.

Like, I got there, which was awesome, by the way, because I tend to feel a lot of anxiety when traveling.

But in this situation I was like, I don't care.

I'm going to be there.

And I finally get to spend time with these people, like in physical proximity with them, because I literally live across the country from them and.

But I got there and I got.

I don't know if it was motion sickness from driving through the hills and winding along the lake.

And then I look out the window and the movement of the water drop down to the lake that I'm looking out over it, it's like so beautiful.

Motion sickness and vertigo and it's like I spent the entire first night facing into the house.

I didn't have to like, vomit all over the place.

And I was.

I didn't feel guilty.

Yeah, I forgot about that, actually.

I didn't even.

I forgot that that happened because it did not affect me.

And I come in and shake her up because.

No, that to me, like, that's one of my triggers because I had a health issue where I just felt sick all the time.

Like, all the time I was sick all the time and it was awful.

And so that's one of my triggers is being sick.

And to be in that situation with you guys and feeling kind of icky and you're just like, how can we help you?

What can we do to support you?

What do you need in.

In not feeling uncomfortable and knowing that if I'd been like, I'm gonna borrow a few to grab the bag and hold my hair.

You know what I mean?

Like, it was so outside of anything I've ever experienced in my life.

Because you know why?

Because we are givers and we finally found other givers.

Oh, that's so true.

You know, there's so much, like, reciprocity in this.

And again, like, no expectation, though.

There's no, like, expectation.

It's Just.

Well, again, because it goes back to getting each other.

Like, you get each other.

So everything just fits right where.

I know that we.

I. I speak for all three of us when I say that we were givers to other people where we didn't get that back.

Yeah.

So it's nice to meet people like ourselves.

It just makes.

It's just a whole nother level.

But to finish talking about Stacy and getting to know Stacy.

Yeah.

Like, I. I loved doing.

I feel like.

I mean, we didn't talk a lot, but it was.

It was.

It was just us.

So we.

We shared so much of ourselves in that that we.

We got to know each other in.

In that.

But.

But then we started talking outside of that a little bit.

And at first, it was a little hard for me because I can talk, but you were a little quieter, and I was like, oh, I don't.

I don't.

It made me uncomfortable.

Right.

Like, I was uncomfortable with it.

But.

But I liked you, and I was like, I know we're gonna.

You know, like.

And then, you know, but.

But.

So it's funny because where I. I mean, talk about, like, never leaving the house, I.

Not only do I never leave the house, almost never, I also don't talk to anybody.

Like, what, Talk, Text?

What?

Now?

So.

But I lived by myself.

That was also me.

Yeah.

I could go actual days without speaking to another human being.

Like, I think I'm like, yeah, like, Monday morning, we're coming on my.

And I'd start talking at work and be like, oh, my God, I haven't heard my voice since Friday.

Oh, that's what I sound like.

Although, I mean, I shouldn't say that.

Sometimes I do talk to myself or laugh or yell or.

Good for you.

Yeah.

So.

But Stacy would text, like, what are you doing?

And sometimes we would text back, and then it turned into, like, conversations, and it'd be like, we talk for an hour, and then two hours, and then, like, three hours.

And then we're like, well, we're just gonna do this on Zoom for an hour.

Two hours.

Three hours.

Yeah.

And then sometimes the only time we stop is because I. I get into the phase of, like, I'm so hungry, I'm about to turn into a different person.

Right.

So it's probably best if I go feed myself.

Well, I mean, you do get up at the crack of dawn, so you're, like, on your third meal.

By the time.

By that time I'm having breakfast, you're like, on, like, your midday.

That's snack.

That's you're, like, on your afternoon snack.

Our rhythms are definitely different.

I'm the early riser.

I think we're over 45 minutes now, so I just want to do a quick time check and see is there anything else we want to cover before we wrap up.

The only thing that I was just thinking because I was looking at the same thing is like, okay, well, we know.

Like, we know now how we met and why we like each other now, but what are we really doing here and what, like, what's going to come in our next few episodes?

So maybe we just tee that up.

Yeah.

I think what's next is.

I think we're gonna dive a little deeper into each of us individually.

So a little bit more about.

Yeah.

Our journeys and who we are, who we've been, maybe who we want to.

Be, who we have been, who we are and who we wanna be.

Yeah.

So that'll be the next few episodes, and then after that, we'll really get into maybe a little bit more about Kula.

Definitely talk about our values.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, we should talk about the values.

About our mission and our values.

Yeah,.

Maybe we should talk about that next and then about our.

About our own stories.

No, I think our.

I think part of our values conversation will probably connect back to our stories.

Okay.

Why those things, like, surfaced as being the most important to us.

That makes sense.

I can't believe it's 39.

I know.

That was fun, though.

As usual.

I'm very hungry, so I gotta go.

I mean, to go.

As usual, we lose all concept of time when we're together.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And that's okay.

That was good, though.

That was awesome.

That's awesome.

Yeah.

I'm very excited to do this with you guys.

Me too.

And I'm excited for.

For our little round robin storytelling story time where each of us has a chance to share.

We'll let Stace help us experiment with the format for these three, and then we'll go from there.

Okay.

Okay.

Yay.

One down.

We did it.

I actually think that was so good.

That was so good.

It was much more natural.

I tried to do this.

Yeah, it was.

It felt very natural.

Yes.

Okay.

Good shit, ladies.

Awesome.

Okay, go eat.

Okay.

Love you.

Love you.

Good night.

Bye.