Join host Yvonne McCoy as she dives into an engaging conversation with Martin Salama, exploring how unexpected challenges can lead to significant personal and professional transformations. Martin shares his story of resilience through financial setbacks and personal changes, highlighting the powerful concept of shifting from a mindset of lack to abundance. Throughout the episode, Martin reveals his three-step cycle of A's—Ask, Act, and Attitude—and how entrepreneurs can apply this framework for sustainable success. Yvonne and Martin discuss the importance of open-ended questions, strategic networking, and the mindset shifts necessary to thrive in business.

Guest Bio:

Martin Salama is a renowned life coach known for helping individuals and entrepreneurs unlock their potential by shifting mindsets from scarcity to abundance. With a journey defined by resilience in the face of financial loss and personal upheaval, Martin has transformed challenges into opportunities, encouraging others to focus on growth and empowerment. His work now focuses on helping entrepreneurs create sustainable and thriving businesses through his unique coaching methodologies.

Chapters:

00:00 Life-Changing 2008 Project Venture

06:18 Mindset Shift Inspired by Ted Lasso

07:36 "Think 'How,' Not 'Does'"

10:36 Effective Questioning in Marketing

14:04 From Intention to Implementation

19:21 "Attracting Clients Through Self-Presentation"

21:17 "Ask for What You Want"

24:35 "Supercharge Your Business Growth"

Main Quote by the Guest:

"Things happen through me. Good or bad, they happen through me." - Martin Salama

Links to Guest's Website:

https://connectwithmartin.com/

https://thewarriorslifecode.com/cycle-of-a

Welcome to the One Small Change, and I'm thrilled that you're

here with me, and we're gonna embark on a journey of exploration and

transformation. I'm your host, Yvonne McCoy, and I bring almost thirty

years of entrepreneurial experience. And I have a passion

for discovering how you can grow through the power of seemingly small

change. And I wanna make sure that, you know, you know the

things that are going on in this journey and that you can have the

inspiration to keep exploring as well. This week, we are talking

with the amazing Martin Salama. Martin,

hi. How are you? I'm great, Yvonne. I'm excited to be here with

you. Thank you for having me on your show. I am so

excited. And one of the things you're gonna share is how a smaller

unexpected change or decision sparked a remarkable

transformation in the growth in the profession and what you do now.

So tell us more about your small change, which typically in

retrospect never seems small, and, what the

impact it had on you. Oh my god. I could pick so many,

but I won't go back to my childhood one. I I

do have one from my childhood, but I'll go to one that happened basically

to everybody in to most everybody in 02/2008.

K? So it wasn't small at the time either, but, you

know, this is one that shaped who I am today, I would

say. The events of what happened, though, during that time shaped

me today. So in the February, my wife and I were

working on a project for five years to build a multimillion

dollar health club and tennis center in New Jersey by the Jersey

Shore. And it took us five years because, you know, you gotta go through all

of the things you could think of. Find the land, do a feasibility study,

architecture, engineers, then go to the city to get the approvals.

And that was the longest part of all, getting the approvals. And during

this time, we'd go to the bank and they're like, we love this project. We

can't wait for it to start. You know, we'll we'll fund it when it's

time. Fantastic. So in the fun of

February, we finally get all the approvals.

Go to the bank, and they're like, yeah. We're not lending right now. I'm like,

what happened to we'll fund it whenever it's ready? You know, the last few years,

two thousand five, six, seven, they were giving money away.

Almost like when, you know, when you go to Costco and the women on the

end of the condo are handing you samples Yeah. They were they were handing you

samples. I refined my house a bunch of times during this

time to fund the project. So they're like, yeah. Things are

changing. I'm like, I don't care. You told me that

it'd be. A month later, Bernie Madoff, the

subprime loans, the financial world falls apart.

And just like that, I'm broke. And I

the 3 and a half plus million that I put in, that I borrowed, that

I my investors is gone.

And, I went into a depression for about a year.

And during that time Only a year? Only a year. Believe it or

not. Maybe a little more than a year. But, you know, during that time, I

stopped paying my mortgage. I stopped paying I had no money. I stopped

paying my car payments. About a few months later, my son says, dad, look

outside. They were towing away my BMW.

That's how broke I was, and I never had that happen to me before. I

never had a car repossessed. The house eventually

got foreclosed on. But because I lived in New

Jersey and there were so many foreclosures, it literally

took them years till they remembered about us.

Right? So here we are. It's about a year or so later, and I'm

saying, okay. I gotta figure out what I'm doing now. I gotta you know?

And I decided I didn't wanna be a businessman anymore. I've been that my whole

life, which they now call entrepreneurs. You know, back in my day, we were

businessmen. Now we're entrepreneurs. You know? High highfalutin

title. And I was like, okay. What do I wanna do? And I

looked around and I thought about my life, and what I love doing best was

helping community organizations as a leader. And people would come in and say, but, Martin,

I can't do what you're doing. Said, but but, Yvonne, I don't need you to

do what I'm doing. I want you to do what you're good at. And

I realized I was coaching these people to their potential. So

I looked at the coaching, and I decided to become a life coach. And

a little small thing happened along the way. About two months before it was time

to start life coach training, it was my twenty fourth wedding

anniversary. And my wife gave me a very interesting gift that year.

She said I want a divorce.

I'm sorry. And I I I should've said something, but I didn't

get anything like that for you. You know? But I didn't. You know? I was

like, I was knocked. I I you know, to tell you the truth, I

probably knew it was coming, but until it actually happens,

nobody really believes that that's gonna happen. And I

I I I said to myself, why does everything keep happening to me? And I

but I made the decision I was still gonna go through with live coach training.

And I think that was the turning point for me, making that

decision to continue with that. Because as I started

getting to live coaching and they said to me, it doesn't matter who you

think you have to be. You could be whoever you want to be. That

opened the doors for me and gave me the ability to

search within myself and realize when I was saying things like, why

does everything keep happening to me? That was me looking to

blame everybody else. And now I say things happen through

me. Good or bad, they happen through me.

I it's funny because I had almost a similar

experience in the sense of I bought a book

that was written by Thomas Leonard about 22 strategies

that you know, life strategies that everybody should have. And I bought it

for I was teaching a community class. And so I bought it so I could

give my students these strategies. And as I read it, I was

like, oh my god. I need this. Oh my god. I need this. Oh my

god. I need this. And at the end, it said, if you wanna

learn how to coach, come to this free teleconference,

which is it was like, I need all this stuff. And, again, because you didn't

have to have the answers, you just had to ask the right questions,

which for me was a total turnaround.

I think, you know, one of the things that we very much have in common

from what you said is that it's really important

to be able to do so well, you can be yourself. There's so many

societal kinds of constructs around us all the way from

childhood all you know, with with the limiting beliefs and stuff like that.

And it's like I heard somebody say the other day, it

there are two kinds of people in the world. People who go, you know,

you know, what happened to me, and people who go, what can I make

happen? And I think that that is, you know, a

mindset shift that you need. And and we get them in the

weirdest places. One of the biggest places that I got a mindset

shift was Ted Lasso. I don't know if

if you've ever heard that seen that show. I have. I love it.

But there's also a podcast that goes with that called What Would Good Lasso

Do? And it's got a a a positive psychology coach and a

leadership coach. The the show is only thirty minutes. The

podcast is, like, ninety minutes. But

it's like you know, it has changed my life. I mean, just to say to

myself, don't be judgmental. Be curious.

Wow. Just just just that that simple a

thing. Right. Right. And for me, I look at it as, when

I'm doing my my workshops, okay, one of the things I say to the people

right at the beginning is I want you to ask yourself a question,

but be careful how you ask the question. I don't want you to ask,

does this apply to me? Change it just a little bit

and say, how does this apply to me? By

saying, does this apply to me, you're giving yourself a one word

answer, yes or no. How does it

apply to me is an open ended question that gives you the ability

then say, okay. Let's see where we're going from here. It's like saying I

can't. Instead, what you should be saying is how can

I? Right. Right. So so just, you know, something

that you've never talked about on this on this podcast is is the

difference between closed questions and open ended questions,

and and the quality of the response that you get

when you have an open ended question. So can you talk a

little bit about that and how entrepreneurs can use that?

Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. So very often,

especially entrepreneurs, and I say that the the

difference between a good entrepreneur and a great entrepreneur or a

bad entrepreneur and a good and great entrepreneur is are you a

leader or are you a boss?

Right? The bosses are the ones that that ask the closed

ended questions. Did you do this?

Right? The the leader is someone says, how

did it go when you did this? How was

it? Right? Or even or even better before

it starts, you say, how would you do this? Right. Right. Sure. Absolutely.

How would you do this? Exactly. Or instead of saying, do

this, which is not even a question. Do this exactly as

I tell you, which is really micromanagement saying, if you don't do it exactly

as I'm telling you, then you're not doing it. Well, you know, my

thing is, I always say, entrepreneurs have the knack

of bringing in great quality, and then they micromanage them

into mediocrity. Right. Exactly. So that's the

difference. That's when you become either a leader or a boss.

And the leader is looking to be inclusive of everybody,

ask questions of everybody that that

that invoke deep thought responses,

not yes or no answers. That's the a closed question a closed end

question is yes or no. It's did you.

It's it's instead, the open ended questions are

how did this come? What how did you do this? Why what was

the reason for this so that they go so further? And then you go, and

how did you feel about that? And or what was the end result

of that? Things that invoke thoughtful

answers. My favorite question

is tell me more. Tell me more. That's a perfect one. Do you know?

Because that way, it doesn't it doesn't, you know, it doesn't color the

answer one way or the Right. And, you know, you can get

clarification, and then you can ask, like, specific questions, which

reminded me when we were talking about this. You know,

one of the first I mean, the fastest way to use this is in

your in your, marketing. If you say to

somebody, do you need this? Then their answer is yes or no.

Do you know? But if you say to them, how,

you know, how many times have you struggled with or how how many different ways

have you tried to get this done? Right. Then you then you get them thinking

about and saying, oh, you know, I've done this several times. Maybe I

need to find another way to do it. Right? So

before we before we run out of time, I wanna make sure that we have

plenty of time to talk about your free gift and and your, you know,

action steps that you've got for all of us. Mhmm. Okay. Cool. So

I I you you when we were talking beforehand, you said, you know, three

step three three points or something. And I and what made me think of is

something that's in my my what I started with was

a coaching program that was about helping people

shift their mindset from lack to abundance and all that stuff, which

is very important in whatever you're doing, and I've incorporated into

my new program. So recently, I came up with

something specifically for entrepreneurs. It's called the three steps the

secrets three step framework for a sustainable

thriving business. Mhmm. Coaching business, it could be for

anything. And it comes from something

that's a mindset based that is in my book,

and I call it the cycle of a's. Okay?

And the cycle of a's takes something that is a little woo woo

in the world and makes it a little more practical, which is the

law of attraction. Okay. Right? People go, oh, that's

all woo woo stuff. You think about it and it happens. And the people

that don't really understand it, they go, oh, you know, I

did the law of attraction. It didn't work. Because they're thinking very

linearly linearly. They're thinking, okay. I think about it,

and it didn't happen. And that's where the cycle of a's comes in.

So for me, the cycle of a's are three letter a's

that, you know, the people that are here, they can go to my site,

which we'll tell you about later, to download some some

some things. Right? And one of them is the cycle of a's, and on it,

it shows it in a perpetual emotional cycle. The first

a is ask. Ask God. Ask the universe for what you

want. And that could be as simple as I just came up with an

idea. That's an ask.

Right? But if you just think about it and do nothing about it, and

then three years later, you see it on TV and go, oh my god. I

thought about doing that. Yeah. Right? How many

of us have been there? Been there. Right. So that's where

the the next a comes in. Act. Start

working towards getting that ask. Oh, I came up with an

idea. Well, what would it look like? How would it be

become about? What are the steps that need to happen? And

start putting it into motion. And then the last a is

really where the rubber meets the road. It's a good way to put it.

And it's have an attitude of I don't

care about the outcome emotionally.

Right? Because if you care so much about the outcome, that's

where that lack mentality comes in

and Mhmm. Goes everything out. So now this is in

my program for anybody for thinking about it in that

way, you know, in their life. So then I said, okay. Let me turn around

and and put it into, into into business terms.

So ask, clarify what you true truly desire for your

business, set your intention, and get specifics on your

goal, define your vision for your business, be specific about the revenue you

want, the number of clients, and the kind of impact you wanna make.

And it goes a little further than that. Then the act is move from

intention to implementation. This is where the magic happens.

Remember that the universe isn't Santa Claus. You

know? You have to take actions. Then you implement it. Break

out of your comfort zone and adjust as needed.

Right? And then the third one is attitude. Let go of the emotional

attachment to the outcomes and staying positive regardless of

the results. Detach from the outcome after putting it in the

effort, it's important to let go of any attachments, cultivate

it, positivity, and maintain

that mindset of abundance, and then it goes a little further.

But you get the overall gist of it. Well, I you

know, the things that you're saying are so important. I mean, one of one of

my kind of philosophies is, you know, that

you you grow in leadership. Unfortunately, for entrepreneurs,

they tend to go right into kind of leadership and management of a project or

whatever their skills is, and they don't spend enough time in kind of the

personal development space because you need that

when you move from projects to managing and leading other

people. Right. So it's kind of like they feel like they're going

backwards. What you know, what what's you know, that kind of thing. But I

think, you know, the way that I describe a lot of what

you're saying, don't get attached to the, you know, the specific outcome,

is I I say to people, you know, the one of the biggest thing mindset

that helped me is I used to think that success was kind of a

binary choice. You did something you either succeed seeded or you

failed. And what I found when I looked at that was

things that I thought I didn't know that I could succeed in, I didn't

do. Mhmm. Right. Now I now

I yeah. I mean, now you know, because I was I was brought up to

be, you know, you need to be the best. You need to be at the

top of the class. You need to be you know? And so when to be

perfect. Yes. And so I find so many people

are practicing to be perfect, you know, that they never get anything done.

And I went through that stage myself. I don't I mean, you know, everything that

I talk about, I've done. So, you know, now I know that

it's you take an action, you either succeed or you

fail. Either way, you need to evaluate, you know,

why did I succeed? Why did I fail? Make adjustments and and do it

again. So my new model is fail for

fail forward faster. Right. I love it. Because if I'm

failing forward faster, it means I'm doing something and I'm

I'm making progress. And that's really what it what it's about. And I think

the other thing is, you know, a typical place where people want

instant results is, you know, they go networking thinking

they're gonna get a client, and you don't. That's not the purpose of

networking. If you go networking and you say I never got a

client, it's because you that was not where you were gonna

find a client. What you're gonna find is connection

and community who's gonna attach you to places and people

where your your clients might be. Referrals. Referral

partners. Yeah. And so I find you know, one of the things that I get

you know, I think is I

feel like everybody I hope that everybody that I meet and

talk with leaves better off than when they when they met me.

Right. Right. Is that And so so, you know, my goal is

not focused on me. My goal is how can I support

you? Right? Yeah. And it takes all the

pressure off, and it it you know, that kind of thing. So,

you know, we've talked about a lot of stuff. Mhmm. The

one thing I kinda wanted you to talk a little bit more about was let's

talk about money and the scarcity mentality

because that, you know, that and the idea that I'm not worth

it or you know, because when you when you talk with a coaching client that's

in business, they're always under pricing. Yes.

Yes. Because they don't believe in themselves enough.

Right? So that whole money thing comes from the mindset

of I'm not worth it or the lack or I don't deserve

it. Right? Or why should I have it?

Right? Instead of why shouldn't I have it? Why can't I have it?

Right? And and it's understanding that you're looking

at things with the glass half full half empty,

excuse me, instead of looking for it as being full, not even half

full, full. And that there's more that can come.

And I think that's a one of the differences between attracting the

right client and trying to sell somebody. Yeah. You know, because

you're like, you know, you need my service. You know? But if you are putting

yourself out there so that the things that you're doing, people go, that's an

interesting person. I think I'd like to talk to them more, and you're attracting them.

Right? By the time they become clients, they already know what your

value is. Mhmm. And I think, you know, I think one of the

best things, that can happen to two good

things. One of the best things that can happen to somebody is you're talking

to somebody and before you finish, they go, I wanna work with you. How much

you know, tell me what I need to do. Right. I mean, it's just

an amazing kind of thing. Right? And then the other

thing is I don't think that we, entrepreneurs,

know that we can say no. Yeah. You know, this is not a good

person to work with. You know? And and it could be for a variety of

reasons. Not that they're not a good person, but, you know Not a good

fit. It's not a good fit. Right. You're not you're not at the right point

in your business. You you know, whatever the case may be. You know, you can't

put food on your table so you don't need to buy a $25,000 program. You

know? I mean, it could be a whole lot of different things. And I

I think that we go through, and I jokingly call it

entrepreneurial prostitution. It's where where you're trying to get

cash flow and you and and your mindset is, I can do anything if

the price is right, which which dilutes, you

know, which dilutes what you really do well. And and

it also it also you know, if you get a client that's not the right

client, it will suck the life out of you, and they will never be

happy. That's so true. You could you could have two or three

clients that are ideal, you know, and put in less

energy than you put into somebody who is that you are just

like Banging your head against the wall. Yeah. Yeah. I, you know,

I I jokingly said long time ago when I first started, for some reason, I

attracted a lot of male tech

guys. Okay. And I love them because they always paid in

full. They always showed up on their you know, for their coaching on time. They

you know? But every time I brought something

up, it was like, oh, I read a book on that. I read a book

on that. And I was like, but did you do it? I did not. It

was like when the when it was over, it's like, thank god this is over.

Do you know? So so I think that that I I think some of the

things that we're talking about is, you know,

is if you don't this is this

is my 40 my $40 best advice I ever got

from my therapist. She said, if you don't ask for what you

want, you're going to be uncomfortable and you're going to be

disappointed a lot. Right. If you ask for what you want,

you will still be uncomfortable, but you will get it a lot more

often. So well put. Well put. And for me,

the the concept was that I didn't wanna be

uncomfortable. And then I realized I was gonna be uncomfortable either way.

Well put. Okay. So we there's gonna be a link in

the, in the notes where you can get this great, great

gift. Right. Also, Martin does a workshop every month,

so you wanna, you know, you wanna go do that as well. Yeah.

Okay, Martin. Yeah. When was the last time you did something new for the first

time? When was the last time

I did something new for the first time? Oh my

goodness.

Well, last week. Good.

Last week, I I was on vacation. We went to San Antonio, Texas in

the January, and it was cold there. And they actually

had a snowstorm of a half an inch where I'm like, okay. So big deal.

It's for them. And we went to

the Alamo. Oh.

Right? And for me, I love learning about stuff.

And what I learned there was that right near the right near

San Antonio was the first Six Flags of

in America. So anybody doesn't know six flags is a is

a theme park. In New Jersey, they call it great adventures, but six

flags. And do you know why it's called six flags?

No. K. And neither did I. Okay?

And I learned because Texas has been ruled

by six different countries. Okay.

Alright? Spain, France,

Mexico. Those are the three easy ones, and America are the four is

the fourth easy one. The last two are gonna surprise you.

Number five is Texas was a country from when the

Alamo when they lost the Alamo, and a month later, they beat the Mexicans

in 1836 for ten years, eighteen forty five, nine years, whatever.

Then they Mexico was coming after them. They go, we don't wanna be with you.

We'll become part of America. So in 1845, they

became a state in the union. And then the

last one was they seceded with the rest of the

Confederate States, so they were under the Confederate States of

America, which made for number six.

So that's why they're always saying they're leaving.

That's fantastic. That's fantastic. Okay, guys.

Before we run out of time, I need to wind this up.

And, you know, so if you haven't done it already, I need

you to subscribe and share this, and to engage on

social media. And and, you know, this is designed to help

you supercharge your business through connection. This is my way of giving back to

the community and introducing people to you and ideas that's

gonna help to you to fuel your quest for growth and impact.

And I hope you will join me on the one small change and on a

regular basis. And if you haven't gone to the, the the

first page, you'll see all the people that have been kind enough to give their

time and energy, to this endeavor. And so,

Martin, what are your what are your last words? What do you, you know, want

people to take away? What I'd like for them to take away

is consider putting into action the cycle

of ACE. Ask, act, and attitude.

And you could go to the you know, you'll be able to go to the

show notes, click on the link, and find the link there. You know, it'll

take you to download a little deeper of what we talked about about

ask, act, and attitude in the cycle of ACE. That is so

fantastic because in the age of information,

it's not just information you need. You need to know how to apply it and

implement it. Right. So, guys, our time is up. And as

I always say, remember, change is simple, but it's not always easy. It

requires resilience and courage and a willingness to step

outside your comfort zone. And so I hope you will take a few minutes

every week to join me for the one small change as we try

to, you know, have a bold vision and do

innovative possibilities. And until the next time, I will

see you then. Thank you, Martin. Thank you, Yvonne. It's been a pleasure to

be here.