Catherine Wilde, founder of Soul Care Mom, joins me on the podcast. Catherine began offering meditations over 5 years ago, not knowing that a full-fledged business tending to overwhelmed mothers would be in her future. Catherine now offers coaching and a membership to moms across the world, coming together to lean into one another and learn skills to come to themselves with compassion and understanding. A breath of fresh air, stepping away from the doing culture, and supporting mothers to create a sustainable state of being is what Catherine Wilde offers to her clients. Join us for this soul fulfilling conversation!

EPISODE TAKEAWAYS (what you’ll learn):

• The relationship between time and your worth
• How to step into the flow
• How to come back to yourself with compassion
• The power of setting boundaries
• How to embrace the present moment

About the Guest:

Catherine Wilde is a homeschooling mom of three, Founder of Soul Care Mom, and Best Selling Author of Reclaiming Your Inner Sparkle. She’s also a life coach for moms, a yoga & meditation teacher, and the creator of the transformative membership Vibrant Mom Life. She believes you can feel calm and find your unshakable confidence as a mom when you first care for yourself. She is passionate about helping women get out of survival mode and release mom guilt, so they can create a life they love while being the mom they’ve always dreamed of being. Get your free gift at soulcaremom.com/kickstart so you can start your day with self love and be the calm, present mom you want to be!

Find Catherine Wilde here:

https://www.soulcaremom.com/

About the Host:

Maureen Spielman is the Founder of Mystical Sisterhood, a podcast dedicated to bringing more joy, healing and expansion to the world. She is a seasoned life coach who supports individuals through one-on-one coaching, groups and workshops.

Connect with Maureen:

● Check out her Instagram: @maureeenspielman

● Learn more about her work at www.maureenspielman.com

● Want to join our Mystical Sisterhood Membership community? Find out more here: https://www.maureenspielman.com/mysticalsisterhood

● Email Maureen at hello@maureenspielman.com to inquire about coaching, podcasting & speaking engagements

● Want to view Mystical Sisterhood episodes? Visit the Mystical Sisterhood YouTube Channel here: Magical Sisterhood Youtube

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Please join me in welcoming Catherine wild to

mystical sisterhood this week. This is your host, Maureen

Spielman. And I sit down with the best selling author of

reclaiming your inner sparkle to talk about how moms can best

care for themselves. It's a new generation where we're learning

to put self care or soul care into place within our lives.

Because we know when we don't make time for the precious

commodity that is ourselves, that we really suffer and we

don't bring our best selves to the table or feel aligned with

how we're really meant to feel. So, join us in this great

conversation today and let me know what you think it was a

pleasure to sit down with Katherine and learn more about

her business and how she supports overwhelmed moms.

Thanks for being here, and I'll see you in the episode.

Hey there, welcome to mystical sisterhood. This is

your host, Maureen Spielman. I started the show to highlight

the intuitives healers and other courageous women that I've met

along my journey and continue to meet. Through amazing

interviews, I seek to ask insightful questions to uncover

ways in which you the listener can apply the wisdom and

knowledge to your own life. I believe that we're all in this

together. So sharing healing and joy, and bringing community

together is both my passion and purpose. If you'd like to learn

more about the mystical sisterhood community I'm

building please visit www mystical sisterhood.com See you

in the episode.

Hello, and welcome back to mystical sisterhood. This is

your host, Maureen Spielman. And today I'm sitting down with

Catherine wild of soul care, mom, and Catherine and I were

lucky enough to meet I'd say, a year and a half ago, when her

name started coming across my radar, through our shared

teacher Susie Lulu. And I know that Suzy had you on her radar

because of the name of what you were doing soul care, mom. But

the beauty of your work, too. And so I think the reason I love

having you here, one of them today, Katherine is because self

care or soul care, or whatever we call it.

Whatever resonates with people to name it is so utterly

important in our journey as mothers and as women. I know

your target audience is mothers who may be overwhelmed,

overworked, in the weeds, frustrated, whatever it is, we

can kind of talk about some of those things. But the work is so

essential. And there's so many mothers out there that don't

have a lifeline when they're beginning. And they had no

roadmap as to what the what life would look like, after children.

And so I consider your work to be just

so needed in the world. So welcome. Thank you. I'm so so

happy to be here in chat with you. Yeah, yeah. So I'm so

curious about the origins of your work and how you first

stepped into it, or a how you first had the idea to develop

what you were seeing into your career.

So I, you know, I have three girls, we

homeschool and,

like you were saying, like, I didn't have that lifeline. When

I started. I didn't, I didn't fully understand what it was

going to be like, you know, the experience of being a mom. So

looking at I looked forward to it so much and, but they're

doing it alone, and the stress and the overwhelm, and all of

the sleeplessness, all of those things like those hit me really

hard.

And I, you know, I get it. Like, as a mom, we do so

many things. And so many things are asked of us. And we just

want to be you know, playful and present with our kids. And when

we're running on empty, it's really hard to do that. And so

for so long, I felt this deep, like sense of despair, like I

was convinced that I wasn't measuring up as a mom, you know,

it seemed like every tantrum or each time I felt short tempered,

or all those tear filled moments, they were pointing to

this conclusion that I was defective as a mom, you know,

and so, I believe that somehow I was just ill equipped for

motherhood. And I felt really ashamed around that and it

looked like everyone else like all these other moms were just

handling it flawlessly. So that was so hard and but I did start

to notice something. I noticed that each time I did something

kind for myself, no matter no matter how small it was.

And I took care of my needs in some way, I felt better. And so

yeah, so as I started to, like, look for these little pockets,

and these little places in my day where I could do something

nice for myself, things changed. And like you were saying, like

self care is, it's this term that we hear often.

But it's true importance kind of gets lost. And it's, you know,

mom life, the responsibilities, all the things. And I had

convinced myself that taking time for myself was a luxury

that I couldn't afford, I didn't have time for it, it was

selfish. But I slowly started to realize that by neglecting

myself, I was unintentionally depleting the very, you know,

reservoir of energy, and patience and love, that I needed

to be the mom that I wanted to be. And it wasn't an instant

transformation. But it gave me this glimmer of hope. So I

decided, you know, to embrace self care lien on, you know,

friends and families and other moms for support, I started

carving out moments for self care, like meditating, reading,

you know, just enjoying a cup of tea, pausing, breathing,

reconnecting with myself in any little way. And as I focused on

my needs, I found that I was better able to meet my

children's needs, you know. And I discovered that prioritizing

myself, helped me to give more generously to those around me

without feeling depleted, I could be more patient and

present and loving.

And not despite my self care, but because of it, you know, and

so that love and support and self care that I received from

the people around me, didn't diminish me as a mother, you

know, that he enhanced everything. And my journey led

me to help other moms to reconnect with themselves to

fill their cup so they can really enjoy, you know, this

precious time that we have with our kids. Oh, yeah. I love that.

Thank you for sharing all of it. You know, it reminds me to or I,

the question that comes to me, is this idea of what your needs

are? And

do you feel like motherhood allowed you to almost define

what your needs were better than even before having had kids?

Because that whole area of what am I what am I needing right now

can be very gray, and really hard to pinpoint as to what will

sort of nourish us at more of a soul level. And I think that

that's a we can also call it self care, but it is soul care,

because it's nourishing at that soul level. Yeah. Oh, yeah, for

sure. You know, becoming a mom like you, you're kind of forced

into it, you know, there's no cap, there's no way out. Really.

It's kind of like when you I haven't done this myself. But

you know, when people go on, go abroad to learn a new language,

they immerse themselves in the language, you have to learn it,

like you're thrown into this thing. And if you don't learn

it, you're not gonna, like, know where to get food, you know?

Yeah. So I think whether it is a lot like that, you kind of get

thrown into this, and it wakes you up in so many ways. And you

start to realize, oh, okay, like, this is what I need. And,

and I think, like, you know, as children or, as babies, you

know, we start coming into the world, like knowing, like, I

need, you know, what you need, and you're really connected to

who you are.

And then, you know, slowly, we get told, like, Okay, this is

more important than that, or that, you know, this is what you

should be doing. And so we start to get disconnected from what it

is where what we actually need. And we know, we know, deep

within that. So if you feel like, you know, lost in that

process and journey of really reconnecting with yourself,

which is what soul care is, right? Yeah, yeah. And it

reminds me too, of maybe the roles that maybe we saw growing

up, or the word martyr just came to me. And just this idea that

we have to be all things to all people. And a lot of us grew up

with that, like, needing to be the mother that was emotionally

present, had like the meals on the table, like had to have

everything together. And that's kind of a really unrealistic

expectation, but one we put on ourselves. And add to that, if

you are a mother juggling a full time job, then and I mean,

either way, stay at home or out in the field, whatever it is

bringing humans into this earth. It's it's just it exponential

eyes is how much we're caring for. So back to your point that

because of that, it makes perfect sense that we would need

to care for ourselves in an up leveled way. Yes, yes,

absolutely. Yeah. And you're right. So we're so blessed in so

many ways. Like we have the opportunity to work outside the

home or to start our own business and to have the family

and you know, yeah, it's almost not set up for us to be in our

feminine in that

Well, we're we're just doing all the time, you know, we were

talking about the feminine before we got started. But yeah,

it's really this softening into yourself and allowing yourself

to be more in those moments, you know, to really connect with

yourself with your kids. And

it's yeah, it's, it's definitely something that I am on a journey

of, of just paying more attention to, even as a woman,

like your cycles and things like that affect what times of month

that you have more energy to, like, be more in your masculine

taking the action, you know, versus slowing down and

really connecting and, yeah, just being it's, yeah. So I

think that what I just am putting together about your work

too, is

this idea of supporting women on their journey for deep self care

and deep self connection. And then you've got that community

piece, and I think about the community piece a lot, because

even what you were talking about when you entered motherhood, and

then you had these, this experience of putting so much on

yourself that you weren't good enough. And that I always think

about how we can be going through similar journeys as the

woman next to us, yet it can be a really lonely journey. And so

we know we're not alone, but we feel very alone. And that idea

that if we can be in conversation with people within

our, you know, whatever that group is for us,

and in being vulnerable conversations, that's where

healing can happen.

When moms come to you, what is their sort of like, a profile?

Or is it different stages of

their experiences of what they're experiencing through

motherhood?

Yeah, yeah. Like you were saying, it's really so similar.

You know, we have like, our kids are different personalities, and

like different ages. And you know,

we have, you know, different Yeah, just family dynamics. But

really, we're all going through something so similar, you know,

we all feel so alone in it. And there's not often a safe space

to share with others. Yeah.

Yeah. And the realness of sometimes what it looks like,

you know, I can have this intention that I want to have a

really harmonious home, but then have these moments where things

are just falling apart, or I'm depleted, and I lose my temper

or whatever it is, and we're unlike you and I are, we always

have that conversation about not only soul care, but like this

whole thing that I call conscious parenting, but we have

the these ways that we want to be and we have to realize that

when we're going through it, we're healing

patterns of the way we were brought up. So I'm saying that

because I was brought up, definitely more disciplinary,

kind of seen and not heard. So like, if I'm coming to a child,

or I think of myself when my kids were little, and they

wanted to have a voice. I had conflict within me, because it's

like, I wanted them to have that voice yet. I wasn't given that

voice. And so how do I foster them having that voice in the

absence of never having been modeled that?

Yeah, yeah, that's definitely so true. Like, we're on this, like,

we're both you know, our children are growing, and we can

see them, you know, getting bigger and learning things. And,

but we're growing right along with them. And we're, we're

becoming aware of the patterns that we have, and whether or not

we want to keep them, you know, if we want to show up

differently, and it's so empowering to know, I think,

even when it comes to your self care and your beliefs around

what self care is or whether or not you're worthy of it,

deciding to you know, like, shine a light on that and see,

like, oh, is this how I want to keep going? Is this helping me?

And that can create such a powerful shift, just that

awareness? And then being intentional about Yeah, no,

that's not what I want for my life. I really want to thrive

and have this overflowing cup. So I have so much to give, you

know, yeah, I like that. Because it reminds me of just this idea

of limiting beliefs and limiting beliefs we have about

not only our time, and that's real too, but like time or what

our models were around any kind of self care and then

the models time Oh, I'm forgetting the third one I was

gonna say but just like what are the limiting beliefs you

sometimes see young moms or moms coming in with about self care

or self care? Oh my gosh, time is a huge one. And it's

definitely still a journey I am on just re

shifting my relationship with time you know, we I recently

rewatched

Add one of the new Wonder Woman movies and,

and it's a Wonder Woman, like, you know, she lives in this

other realm or something, right? And so she sees the watch for

the first time. And she asks, like, she's like, What do you

know? What is that? And, and then he explains like, Okay,

this is what a watch is, this is what you know, time is and

she just like, okay, so you allow that small thing to tell

you what to do to dictate your life.

And it's this thing that we created, right? It's got

something to pay attention to and get curious about, like,

what is your relationship with time and time, you know, isn't

this thing that's good or bad, it's just neutral, and we get to

decide what we think about it. So we're, you know, we we can

experience time differently based on, you know, our level of

presence and connection in the moment with ourselves.

And you can probably think of like, you know, a time when you

felt like a minute felt excruciatingly long and another

in an hour or a day, just,

you know, they say time flies when you're having fun. So it's

just really this, you know, perception in this relationship

that we have with it. So allowing yourself to play with

the idea of time, your relationship with it, noticing,

noticing what's different within you, when time appears to flow

differently, you know,

and just the idea of past and future their concepts in our

mind, you know, as humans, we have, we use the concept of time

to understand our experience and use it to be able to explain

things or meet up with someone like we're meeting here at this

time, right? So it's helpful. But truly, we only have this

moment, the present moment and our experience with this moment.

Yeah, it makes me that's a that's a good background, I want

to talk more about that. And it makes me think of how I often

think about how we have all these things in our society and

culture to measure us in time can definitely be one of them,

you know, there can be a scale for our weight, there can be

test scores for kids, but also this time, and,

and this idea of not doing enough, in a certain amount of

time not getting enough done in a day, not accomplishing this

much in a week is that sort of like another area that you see,

sometimes people coming in with, like, I've got to do doo doo

doo, I can already tell that you work on shifts in the way we

view things. And for your clients, too, but just this idea

of

measuring our worth by what we get done. Yeah, yeah, that's,

yeah, I mean, it's still something I work on, too. You

know, at the end of the day, if I didn't get done, the things

that I set out to do, I have to, like, notice what I'm telling

myself about that and be really gentle and have compassion. And

I think, because we do live in a society that it does value, you

know, how much we do and how much we get done. And we were

talking about masculine and feminine, feminine, that's, it's

very masculine, like culture that we live in. So

becoming aware of that, and, and noticing, you know, where you

can step more into your feminine and just bringing in that level

of compassion, because it really isn't, you know, our worth is

inherent, right? Like, we're born absolutely worthy. And so

not, not letting any of that take, or let you feel like it's

taking away from your worth, because it can't, and it

doesn't.

So yeah, just

another thing too, is when you know, when we feel like we have

all of these things to do, it seems super counterintuitive.

But when we slow down enough to really

be with ourselves, be with our feelings, and, and allow

ourselves to experience that. And then from this state of

connectedness step into what we want to do. Things flow so much

better, you know, or even if you stopped to do something

creative, it feels like you're never you know, I should have

started this task yesterday. I'm never gonna get it done. But

that pause. And that connection

really helps you to step into flow, and then things get done

that you didn't even think you could get done that day, you

know, that sort of thing. Can Happen are connected. Yeah.

Yeah. So I'm hearing to that, giving yourself permission to

sort of rewrite the ways that we've learned whether they were

from family of origin, whether they're from more of a masculine

or patriarchal like outer conditioning, that it's this is

sometimes how I see it is that it's a rewriting and saying,

like, how do I want it to look and how do I want it to feel?

And that's sort of what I am hearing you say, which I think

is super powerful for anybody going on a life's journey, a

parenting journey, whatever it is, is that if you're also aware

of the parts that

don't feel good, that there are things to change within your

outer environment and, you know, ways to work on your inner

environment that can create more peace within you.

Oh, yeah, for sure.

We're creating these new like, grooves, right? Like it feels,

you know, a lot of moms struggle with being short tempered with

their kids or yelling with their kids. And,

and, you know, they know they want to change, like, we none of

us want to really, you know, want to be connected with our

kids. And so it feels so terrible to yell. And even while

you're yelling, you know, like, Oh, this isn't how I want to do

it, and I'm still doing it, you know. And so it's this, the work

that you do outside of those moments of yelling is what helps

you to create those new grooves, right? Like, you know, if you

think of like a hilltop, and there's a a dried out riverbed,

right? If it rains, like that's where the water is going to

easily flow down. And so what we're doing is we're creating

our new path or intentional path down the hill. And so it takes

it takes time, and it takes lots of, you know, compassion and

grace. And, yeah, I want to talk about how to create that to how

someone would create that in their life. So starting with,

sometimes when we have those moments that are more escalated

or heated, are there ways that you kind of guide someone

through coming to themselves after those things happen?

Because we can have a tendency to be so hard on ourselves? So

Are there words or language or ways you come to yourself when

you've had a hard moment?

Yeah. So you know, Susie, Lulu, one of our, our beautiful

teachers like that, just that compassion for yourself and

saying to yourself, right, like, wow, that was a hard moment. And

it's so understandable that, that you're feeling this way,

right? And not trying to push away that feeling. Because I

think it's really easy to do, like, you know, we weren't

really taught to be with our feelings. And you know, when

that shame comes up, we just want to like, bury it, you know,

we go find a snack or turn on a screen or whatever it is.

But, but saying, like, that's okay, like, I see you. And it's

okay, that you felt that way, you know.

And then once you're with the emotion, I It's really beautiful

to be able to look at your thoughts. So you know, whatever

the situation was, what was it that? Because our thoughts and

our emotions are very closely linked, you know? And so what

was the thought that was telling you that, you know, what was it

that you were telling yourself in that moment that really

triggered you. And so when you become aware of the thought,

then you can go back and say, like, okay, if I'm telling

myself that my child is being defiant, when they refuse to sit

down at the dinner table, is that helping me to connect with

my child, and then if it's not, you know, you can create that

shift, because you do get to decide your thoughts, you know,

and so much of what we tell ourselves is on repeat every

day, and so this work is, is really hard, because it takes a

lot of like slowing down and pausing and seeing what's going

on underneath the surface. But then you could say, like, okay,

you know, my child isn't really against me in this moment, they

must just be having a really big feeling. Or maybe they're not

feeling connected to me, you know, and that connection piece

really helps when we're trying to ask our kids to do something,

you know, so.

So finding a thought that feels better in your body, and then

allowing that to be, you know, practicing that thought going

forward is is helpful in changing the way you show up.

Yeah, I think that I like your example, to have the dinner

table. Because even when we have a thought like that, like my

child's being x, so often, it's not even our thought, it's

something that was handed down to us. So you're talking about

awareness and ways to come to yourself compassionately, which

I think is really

this idea that

I never knew I'll speak for myself, I never knew that there

could be something free,

accessible in the moment. And useful to have this way of

coming to myself. You know, I always used to think that any

sort of soothing you named like going to get a snack or I think

I would literally like leave the room. And that's how that's also

a good technique, right? Like giving yourself those moments

like your own timeout. Your own pause, that's absolutely, but I

didn't have like compassionate language. And it that's a really

abstract thing. I feel like when we first say that and this can

go for anyone listening anywhere, right?

ate. Like, it could be that you lost it like with a work

colleague. But these ways of coming back to ourselves which,

which are sort of re mothering and re parenting, maybe ways of

softness that we didn't get when we were young. And they can

serve, because I used to think like, How could that be helpful,

like, seriously, but it's the willingness and just to

practice, just just try it, and how I see it, and you can tell

me how you see it, but I see it as I always looked for someone

else to witness and see me. But it's super powerful to witness

my own experience. Because at a soul level, I think, or maybe on

the human level, I should say, someone's witnessing me and it's

me. But it's incredibly soothing. And it's like a

medicine ball. And it makes it to me. I used to think like,

what and so do your clients like? Are they sometimes like,

what? Because when I bring up compassion with people, I kind

of get that response at first, but what's your experience of

that? I love it. I love like this thing calm. Um, but yeah,

for sure. Like when we have that compassion for ourselves where

we, you're like, you're saying, We're re mothering ourselves,

we're reconnecting with who we are. And what can be more

powerful than that, and how, like, we we search for happiness

outside of ourselves. And, and those little things that we do

that like, give us that little, you know, hit of dopamine, or

whatever it is, you know, they they are very short lived. And

so we're always consistently like looking outside of

ourselves for the next thing, the next thing, you know.

And so it's that it's that turning inward? And because the

answer is like, it's, it seems. So yeah. So

crazy. Maybe even you know that what we've been looking for has

been right within us all along. And it's just that reconnecting

that we have to do that can be

Yeah, it can. It's not always easy to do. And, you know, when

we've been told that we need to be doing more looking outside of

us and all these things. So it's this redirection. Yeah. And from

the work that you do, I know this to be true, but what do you

see in that? When a woman begins to do that? Self connection,

soul connection work? What happens on the outside? What

happens with the relationships with her children? Let's say.

So that's, I love that you asked that. Because it's, it's our

inner world really does reflect, you know, our outer world and

our, the way we move through life, and, yeah, so I mean, as

soon as they start, because, you know, self care. So carrots,

we're often pouring from this empty cup, right? We're trying

to pour from this empty cup. And that's that survival mode. And

so once you start to put a drop of love or care connection into

your cup, and you start filling it up, you

Yeah, you you definitely show up the more, you know, differently,

because you get out of that survival mode, which is this

panic, this fight flight, you know,

that we put ourselves in by not by not acknowledging our needs

by not prioritizing ourselves. And so when you start to do

that, you, your nervous system calms down, you know, like you

just overall, like your body has needs, you have, you know, needs

on so many levels. And when you take care of them, then you're

able to show up with more. Yeah, we're just in this more

connected, calm presence, you know? Yeah. And if we can have

that compassion for ourselves, then it's more likely that

that's what we'll turn to when our child is in distress. And we

can't give something we don't ourselves have. Right? So if you

don't have compassion for yourself, like it's hard to get

that. Definitely. How

how do you advise when someone comes to you and life is so

busy? How to start to build in moments? Or is it can it be in

the smallest pockets of the day? Yeah, yes. And that was so eye

opening to me just

like one of the things you know, practices that we have is

placing your hand over your heart and breathe and that's

just

it's just so it just acknowledges you you know, as a

human in your own life and your own experience, like what do I

need right now?

So earlier today, I needed a little moment. My my kids were

eating lunch and then they were gonna do we do quiet time after

lunch? We homeschool so

I remember one of the things that that I was like really

nervous about going into homeschooling was like, Well, I

get a break in the day that's a lot you know, like to be with

your kids all day and have everything else that you need to

do. And so we ended up doing was we kept naptime you know, as

kids have a bunch of nap time.

AMS has babies, and then it drops up to one. So that time is

still our time of the day. And we just call it quiet time. But

I usually go and play with each kiddo separately.

We call that special time, like just this connection time where

they get to kind of lead and like, tell me about what's going

on or snuggle or whatever it is they want to do. But I needed a

moment before I did that, like, I could feel myself like, just

getting a little anxious. And so I literally just stepped

outside, it's sunny day to day,

I have my dog out there with me, like, we just I just soaked in

the sun. And just that moment of being in nature, and taking a

few deep breaths helped me so so much. But yeah, if you if you're

feeling really overwhelmed, and life is so busy, I like to think

of it like, you know, you know, people say like, Oh, my plate is

full. So, like, I like to think of it as life as this buffet,

right? We were so blessed with all of these amazing choices

that we have in life. And so you, you have this plate, and

you get to decide what you put on it, you know, and you can

start to pay attention to what you are putting on that plate.

Like if if you're spending you know, 45 minutes on social

media, and afterwards, you're feeling drained? Is that

something you want to be putting on your plate? Because we really

do have the time? You know, we fill it up? Like, there's this

analogy, have you heard of the glass jar analogy. So like just

becoming aware of what your values are. And so it's this so

you imagine this glass jar, and it's it's your life, right?

This, you get to fill it. And you have three different things

to fill it with, there's rocks, like river rocks, there's little

tiny pebbles, and then there's sand. And the rocks are your

values, they are the things that mean the most to you. Like if

everything else went away, this is what's most important, right?

And then there's the the pebbles, which are the things

that we need to do like we need, we need to function in this

life, right? So what are my responsibilities, the things

that I need to get them to make life go smoothly, and then

there's the stand, it's just the filler, it's everything else.

And so often we are just we're unintentionally living, so we

start filling our life up with the sand, and there's no room

for the rocks. Right? So we're going to start with the rocks.

We want to start with what, what lights you up in this life? What

is it that you know, is the most important to you and start by

filling your life with that? Yeah, I think that's I love the

analogy. And so, so, so important. I know that you

probably have a lot of moms coming to you with younger kids.

And I think

that beginning to have those conversations right there

earlier on in our life, because we're not really taught that we

get to have a choice in that. And lots of times, we're just

going on, like the unintentional default. And so I see women like

15 years down the line or so. And they're still on the pattern

of not, they haven't yet figured out, like how to kind of sift

through all the sand that they've added that is there.

It's not as necessary. And I can say that for myself, for sure.

So I love that you're tackling it when you are having the

discussions, because it's so important, and just defining

those values. And those can shift over time. I would imagine

too, right? Yeah. Yeah, it's an ongoing journey, you know? Yeah.

What do you think about when you talk about those moments of like

for yourself today, stepping out into the sunshine and needing

you needed some sort of replenishment, let's say at the

moment you needed like a moment for Catherine, there is just

something to that, right, where

you're recognizing your own need. And so it's not just going

and just basking in the sun, it could be. But then, like, I

know, it's kind of what we talked about, whatever, 10

minutes ago, but just that idea of no take time. Take time, that

connection to yourself, it can be the hand on the heart, it can

be just saying, like, I see you checking in with you, how are

you doing? It's all the things that we will do for another but

let's start doing them for ourselves. Let's make let's make

the experience for how we see ourselves really rich and

dynamic and fun and playful and recognizing of the emotions and

just just all the things. Yes, yeah. So I mean, I think that

you said that so beautifully, like self care is this. It's

becoming your own best friend. You know, it's listening and

like so, you know, sometimes we emotionally eat. And if you

think about it, like we're, we're trying like that's it's

like a numbing of our feelings or it's a distraction from what

is going on the surface, right? And so it's kind of like if you

were at lunch with a friend and you just started to put food in

her mouth like she's trying to, she's having a hard day, you

know, so we're doing that to ourselves. And so you

Bringing in that, that, that love that that compassion piece

for ourselves is so powerful. And like you're saying these

moments, they every little moment matters. And that's what

our day is built up. But you know, it's moments, it doesn't

have to be, you know, an hour and a half at the spa or

whatever. Although that is so beautiful, too, right? If you

can get a but yeah, it's moments that fill up, you know, your

day. And

like, if you've ever had a leaking faucet, and you put a

cup under it, and walked away and come back, those little

drips that are going into that, that top, they filled up that

cup, you know, so it's the same for us, it seems like it doesn't

matter, it seems like you know, it's

just a waste of time. But really, it's it all adds up to

filling up that cup so that you do have more to give. Yeah, I

have two things that are coming to mind, I know that I want to

ask you today about for sure are the boundaries, kind of idea,

just like a beginning discussion of that. And then

this idea of scheduling over scheduling of kids today. And

maybe even if we can touch on technology. But

how do you think about boundaries, boundaries is

sometimes kind of like,

it can feel like a strong word to me. But what's coming to mind

is like,

how do we

know how do we create the time for ourselves for this soul

care, but also communicate our needs in the midst of our kids

needs?

Yeah.

Yeah, so boundaries has been?

Yeah, definitely something that has

been a journey really opened my eyes, I used to feel like

boundaries was, in my mind that I had this picture of this,

like, hard wall that you were making, you know. And really,

it's, it's this, everybody, you know, our kids ourselves, we all

have our own agency, we all have our own choices that we make in

life. And it's this, we all have different perspectives and life

experiences. And so really, it's just this way of, of like, like,

we're talking about values, like, it's just this way of

allowing yourself to live from an aligned place from your

values, and live alongside these other people who, who have

different values and who have different ideas of life. And,

and that's okay. And this is just how we do it in a way that,

that allows us to stay really aligned, you know, and, yeah,

for sure. And I think that it, it does, parenting does test us

depending on what we saw.

But that the there's this possibility to, of reforming

where we came from, and possibly creating new patterns of

connection and communication with our kids.

I'm thinking about

the culture that we live in today. That tells us also, that

more is more, more is better for our kids, and how it's so easy

to get caught up in the doing of all the activities. And I don't

know, how do you kind of talk about that? And is it

individual, to who comes to you and what they're seeking, but

also giving permission? That it's not all always necessary?

Yeah, yeah. And, you know, my kids like, that even that's, for

me that analogy the plate again, because I, like we homeschool.

And it's so fun. And we are so so blessed to have so many

different homeschooling groups, we have field trip

opportunities, we have, like all sorts of really fun things. And

I get that FOMO you know, and I did that, like people pleasing

comes in, and I want to, you know, stay connected with this

group and these moms and that thing, and

and I also know that that's,

I don't I don't show up in as my best self when I'm burned out

when I've said to you No. And when I've said yes to too many

things. And the same for my kids, like when we don't have

time to slow down and to sit with each other and just snuggle

and let them unpack their emotional backpacks, you know?

It, it's where you know that disconnection starts to happen.

And you might see the behaviors like whining, or at least that's

what I see with my kids. Like, if they're asking a lot of

questions, or if that whiny voice like that higher pitched

voice comes in. I know that it's not because they're trying to

make life hard for me. It's because we haven't connected

they're feeling disconnected. If I'm yeah, if we're saying yes to

too many things, I don't have as much time to reconnect with my

for my personality anyway, I

I crave that quiet time, that alone time to myself as a way to

recharge and everybody's different in that way, you know?

But yeah, so for them to like if there's not enough space in our

day for us to slow down and sit together.

Yeah, then it makes everything else a lot harder, you know? So

I try to keep that in mind for both myself and for them. Yeah,

yeah, it's almost like they're giving you those clues that

they're becoming dysregulated because of what they need. And

sometimes they can't say what they need.

What you were saying before, to reminds me about how, just for

ourselves, in our experience, this idea of

being in our own consciousness, and our own inner experience,

like a place where all emotions are welcome. And so if we're

angry, if we're sad, if we're frustrated, resentful, happy,

joyful, you know, all the things that they can, that there's room

for them to all have a space at the table. And I think it's such

an important thing, because we're supposed to, we're

everyone has all those things within them. And then again, if

we have that allowance in that care and compassion for those

things within us, it's going to allow us if we don't have if we

don't have the bandwidth to allow that within ourselves, we

certainly won't allow it in somebody else. So yeah, that

that strikes me and then just this idea, like, I never used to

know, either that sitting and being quiet was actually what I

needed. And I think it was so foreign to me, I always think

about, I didn't say it on today's podcast, but my kids are

20, or 2220, and 18. So older, but when I was a younger mom, I

was always running like going to target going to the grocery

store, running, running, running, it felt like errands

all the time. And for a long time, I wanted to reform those

patterns. And there's a certain amount of that that's just part

of your life when you have younger kids, but also, it's so

critical for our sanity and our our calm and peace to it really

behooves us to create the quiet and, and the not and, and

looking at those, like, you know, do I need to go to Costco

or wherever it is today? Because a lot of times the answer is no.

Or how can I consolidate that into one trip when I have my

babysitter or my weekend time. So it's not as crazy as this

hamster wheel that I definitely was on for a long time.

In the asking for help piece to it, we feel like we have to do

it all ourselves. And, you know, maybe your husband works near

the Costco, you know, and he can pick up the groceries on the

email. So you can outsource that. Yeah, like letting

yourself lean on others. And a lot of times people want to help

us and, you know, we just have to be really clear about what it

is that would help us.

And I love that you said about feelings. Like, for the longest

time, like what I didn't grow up knowing you know, that it was

okay to feel my feelings or had a really safe space to do that.

So, um, you know, I didn't allow myself to feel a lot of them,

and they would get bigger and louder. And yeah. And I, you

know, as an adult, I've realized, like, it's okay to

have whatever type of feelings you have, right? Whether they're

uncomfortable or like, super, like, you know, pleasant.

Because, well, one thing is the contrast, the contrast between

the uncomfortable and the pleasant really helps us to know

what we, you know, you don't know what happiness is, unless

you felt something that's a little more uncomfortable. So

leaning into that, that's part of our human experience. And

then knowing that, you know, when you have that

uncomfortable feeling, it's letting you know something is

off for you and helping you to be like, Okay, well what's going

on for me here, right? And bringing yourself back into that

place of connection with yourself in alignment with your,

you know, the life that you want to live. And then if something

you know, is feeling like, exciting to you like following

that intuitive nudge and seeing where that leads you, you know.

So, so beautiful. I love that you brought that up? Yeah, like

a lot of the conversation today. Because

I always feel like the more of these messages we can hear. It

is changing. It's like as what do they call like a sea tide or

a tidal shift where we're literally changing patterns that

have been in place for a long, long time of women putting

themselves to the side for everybody else, and feeling

depleted and worn out. And the work that you're doing is just

creating new generations which will benefit our kids. They're

going to end our grandchildren and everyone and just

exponentially outside of us.

I'm going to touch upon just that question because I want to

hear your thoughts on it. But around technology and just it

As part of our lives, and even it's seemingly more of our kids

lives, and how do you from, like a soul care perspective? Like

how do you view it? And? And live with it? And? Yeah, yeah, I

don't have, you don't really anything against it because it

is like, that's something too like resisting, you know, the

the present and resisting, you know, change and things like

that make make things a harder struggle for ourselves, right?

So finding a way to embrace what life is giving you and what the

present moment has to offer in a way that feels good to you and

remembering that you can set that boundary and say no.

And just noticing too, like, Well, how do you feel after you

after you spent a lot of time with technology? Like, you know,

and where can you?

Where can you give yourself breaks there because it can be a

lot, right? It is this thing that really connects us like, I

can connect with people all over the world, like family, friends,

everything. So it brings us together in that way. And then

it also can be disconnecting, because we could be sitting at

dinner and looking at our phone or something, right? So and the

people that are with us or not being connected with so I'm just

bringing awareness to that. And like you were saying, like, if,

if you you know, and I do this to like, I mean, I will go check

my phone, make sure there's no messages or you know, like,

running my business, all the things like, but being aware of,

if you're not able to let that set that down and a with

yourself, like you were saying, creating that moment of

stillness for yourself. If you if you're having a hard time

with that, like you notice you're always grabbing something

or distracting yourself in some way. Asking yourself like, what

what is it that's uncomfortable for me, like, you know, because

it's really important for us to be able to be so with ourselves,

even if you have the more extroverted outgoing

personality.

You know, they say, you know, prayer is asking the universe

for something. And meditation is creating the space, the silence

for the answers to come through. And, and so if we don't allow

ourselves, you know, that space to be with ourselves and let the

answers and let our intuition and let the wisdom come through.

Yeah, we're missing a really big piece. They're living. Yeah,

that's such a good point. And

I'm just thinking, it's like this, we always think about our

kids and technology, but really thinking about ourselves and

technology. So important to I was sending a text the other

day, as I was walking through the park near my house, and

looking down the whole time. And those are the moments I'm

noticing that, you know, you gotta we have to be so

intentional about the way we're using it and putting it away.

And it just, it never used to be part of our lives. And so

there's so much to say there now.

And I know, yeah, go ahead. It's something we have a really

unique situation, right, as parents in this generation, they

were really the first ones to have cell phones and things and

so be really gentle with yourself as you figure that out,

you know, with your Yeah, your kids. Yeah, and that's such a

good point. Because I think it's where this work is so valuable

to because this work is bringing in all of these, like really

abundant

ways of being like, setting intentions, living with

compassion, allowance of emotions, and, and for me, it

always goes back to like the learning how to communicate on a

very connected level, because that's not what I grew up with.

But I love that all these things are part of your work.

You know, Katherine, as we finish up today, is there

anything that you want to add for the listener today before

you tell them where they can find your work?

I want to say like, I just absolutely love every time I get

to chat with you, and your work is so beautiful and soul

nourishing. And yeah, so thank you for all that you do. Yeah,

of course. And yeah, for anybody listening.

And if any of this is resonating with you, I think. Give yourself

lots of grace. Give yourself lots of kindness, you know,

notice those little moments where you can

just pause and connect with yourself. And notice what you're

telling yourself because you are so so incredible. You're so so

amazing. You're so worthy.

And if your thoughts aren't lining up with that, like allow

yourself to just press you know, repeat on this episode and just

listen again and again and know that you were you're doing

enough you know, you are enough.

You're so loved and just lean into if you can't give that to

yourself yet lean into to this and yeah, start there. So much

appreciation and acknowledgement of where mothers find themselves

and then

Add. There's just so much there for them, including their own

inner voice, which can be just so loving and supportive. So,

yeah, thank you so much for doing the work you do. I know

that listeners can find you it's soul care. mom.com. That's

correct. Yeah. And then Katherine, I saw that you have a

book, reclaiming your inner sparkle with companion journal

as well. Yes, they do. Yeah. Yeah, that's amazing. So all

those things can be found on your website and you have a

community that you run if anyone is interested in that as well.

If Do you want to say something about that before we leave

today? It's It's such a beautiful space like the women

in there are so supportive, so uplifting, so authentic, and

just it's yeah, if you if you're feeling alone in the motherhood

journey, definitely join us in there. It's soul care. mom.com

forward slash village to get your beautiful. Yeah, thank you

so much for all the work you're doing and being here with us

today. For the listeners, as always, thanks for tuning in.

And we'll see you in the next episode.

Thanks for listening to this episode of mystical sisterhood.

If you love what you heard, please visit Apple podcasts, and

subscribe and leave a review and share with a friend if you're

called to do so. To learn more about my one on one coaching

programs, or join the mystical sisterhood membership, visit

Maureen spielman.com or mystical sisterhood.com Thanks so much.

I'll see you in the next episode.