📝 Episode Description:

Alcohol-free living can transform your life. In this episode, sobriety coach Jen Hirst opens up about her 12-year journey from secret addiction to recovery, coaching, and empowerment. She shares six essential daily habits for sobriety, how to build resilience without alcohol, and why labels like “alcoholic” don’t define your worth.

If you're sober-curious, in recovery, or simply re-evaluating your relationship with alcohol, this episode is your roadmap to healing, freedom, and joy.

🌟 Packed with sobriety tools, metabolic health tips, and emotional healing strategies, this is a must-listen for women navigating midlife, anxiety, perfectionism, or recovery.

⏱️ Timestamps:

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• (00:00) Welcome & Jen’s Sobriety Story
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• (08:52) Hiding Addiction Behind Perfectionism
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• (12:45) When Alcohol Becomes Self-Medication
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• (19:10) Lisa’s Journey with Alcohol & Breast Cancer
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• (26:15) Letting Go of Labels: Sober vs. Alcohol-Free
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• (33:44) Six Daily Habits That Support Sobriety
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• (50:08) Healing Through Community
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• (56:25) What Actually Made Sobriety Stick for Jen
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• (1:04:15) Advice for Families of Loved Ones Struggling
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• (1:09:03) Final Thoughts & Where to Find Jen
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✅ Key Takeaways:

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• Sobriety is freedom, not limitation—it offers mental clarity, physical health, and emotional healing.
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• You don’t need to hit rock bottom to rethink your relationship with alcohol.
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• Six daily habits—hydration, movement, gratitude, protein intake, reading, and community—can shift your mindset and support lasting recovery.
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• You can define sobriety on your own terms: alcohol-free, sober, or none at all.
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• Recovery is possible, even after relapse, and honest community is a game changer.
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👩‍💼 Guest Bio:

Jen Hirst is a certified sobriety coach and the founder of Lighthouse Sobriety, a community for women who want to stop drinking and start living fully. With over 12 years of sobriety, Jen helps women boost their confidence, rebuild self-trust, and embrace alcohol-free living with clarity and joy. Her programs combine neuroscience-backed habits, community connection, and compassionate accountability.

🔗 Resource Links:

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• 💡 Lighthouse Sobriety Membership: https://joinlighthousesobriety.com/
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• 📸 Follow Jen on Instagram: @lighthouse.sobriety

Other links!

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• 📚 Book Mentioned: Codependent No More by Melody Beattie
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• 📖 Jen’s 6 Daily Habits Worksheet: Available inside her membership
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🔍 Tags/Keywords:

sobriety, alcohol-free living, women and alcohol, quit drinking, sobriety for women, recovery journey, midlife sobriety, perimenopause and alcohol, emotional healing, sobriety coach, sobriety podcast, lighthousesobriety, Jen Hurst, Lisa Koski, doing life different, sober curious, breast cancer recovery, AA alternative, quitting wine, sober habits, habits for recovery, mindfulness, alcohol and anxiety

Welcome listeners.

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I am so thankful that you're here.

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I have a new friend, Jen Hurst,

and I'm, she's my friend.

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We've been sitting here chatting about

chickens a little bit, which is so fun,

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but that's not what the podcast is about.

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Maybe we can do another one, Jen.

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Speaker 2: There's so much to learn about

chickens, you guys, so much I've learned

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Speaker: they're awesome.

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Chickens are awesome.

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But what Jen is, is a sobriety

coach and you can find her.

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Um, I looked at your website, it's

beautiful lighthouse sobriety,

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and we're gonna talk about this.

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And my listeners know I've talked

about alcohol, um, probably in the

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past year more than I ever have.

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So.

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What we wanna do is we wanna

hear, you've got a pretty gut

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wrenching story that I read.

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Um, so if you wouldn't mind sharing

that with the listeners and then we'll

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just jump in and kind of talk through

some, some of the issues and then some

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of the amazing things about being sober.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Absolutely.

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Well, thank you so much

for having me here.

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Uh, of course.

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I'm Jen Hurst.

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I've been alcohol free for over 12

and a half years, uh, which is kind

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of crazy now that I think about

it, but I now coach women on how to

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boost their confidence in sobriety.

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It's really, it's so crazy

how your life can change.

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Based on this one thing and

what you're kind of led to.

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And so I've been doing that by

implementing, and I'll talk about

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that later if we want, but these

six daily habits to help bring some

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structure and help women approach

this with a get to mentality to

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feel your best in this journey.

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Because I think that's what we want.

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If you choose to take a break.

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By going alcohol free.

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If this is a forever thing, we wanna

feel our best, we wanna feel better.

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And definitely going alcohol free, taking

a break definitely can help you do that.

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Mm-hmm.

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Now my story is very different,

probably from many other story.

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Um, but of course look for the, for

the similarities, not the differences.

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And I think just what can

hap what could happen.

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Um, now I always like to say,

and if you go to my page.

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That no one is off limits

when it comes to to drinking.

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Is that over?

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The course of the years, I was kind of,

and if we look at drinking on a spectrum,

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I was one of the more severe cases.

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Uh, my drinking brought me very, very low.

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But you wouldn't know that

because if you go to my page,

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you'll see me in a wedding dress.

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If you go to like before and

after pictures, because I share

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that because I didn't have a lot

of pictures of myself drinking.

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I did a lot of my drinking.

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In the closet.

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I hid it from many, many people.

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Even my husband didn't know what was going

on, so it was really good at hiding it.

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Um, but over the course of the years,

it was about a 10 year progression and

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I just did a reel about it on Instagram

where Yes, I started drinking at 15.

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I realized I had a problem at 25.

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I started actively seeking

sobriety in when I was 29, and I

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didn't get sober until I was 31.

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43 and a lot has changed even in

my sobriety, but it was really

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like a 10 year progression.

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And this is why I think it

can make it so difficult.

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And it's tricky is that it can kind of

sneak up on you until you can't stop.

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And that was my case and I

would do anything that I could.

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To not feel.

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Um, but for me, even growing

up, I came from a great home.

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My parents rarely drank.

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They were like high school sweethearts.

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They met in the band,

like all of these things.

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And I never saw them drink.

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And so that's why I like to think

and say it can happen to anybody.

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I didn't choose this for my life.

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It kind of chose me on what I didn't

wanna feel, but it was raised in.

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Kind of perfectionist home where I

earned love by what I could achieve.

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If I could get good grades, get

awards, I would get a lot of love.

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And if I didn't, then they would ask

me, okay, well why did you get this B?

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Like, what's going on here?

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And so I started putting these

really high expectations on myself.

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I wasn't your typical, if I would

say it, alcoholic, even though

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I don't use that term today.

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I used it back then.

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I wasn't.

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The stereotypical person who

was homeless, living under the

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street with a brown paper bag.

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I was someone who had it all together.

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I got good grades.

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I was very high functional until it

really kept getting deeper and deeper.

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But like I was saying, I had my

first drink at 15, did quote unquote

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normal drinking for many years.

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Um, and.

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Even into college.

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But it was really a turning point.

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And I like to say this when my

second boyfriend wanted to go on a

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break, and I think for many people

we can turn from drinking as fun to

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viewing it to self-medicate, to take

us away from what we wanna feel.

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'cause a lot of us drink

to change how we feel.

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Whether that's, you wanna heighten

an experience, you wanna take

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something away, you wanna relax.

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You don't wanna feel you.

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Maybe you're sad, maybe you're happy.

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You're using it as a reward.

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You're doing something

to change how you feel.

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But it was a turning point because

at this moment, I didn't wanna have

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to go through the heartbreak of my

first boyfriend, and that was awful.

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I, I don't think anybody loves

heartbreak, but I didn't know what to do.

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I didn't know what to do with my time.

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It was all I could think about.

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And the guys that I was living with

at the time, now this was in college.

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They were doing Adderall, and if you

don't know what Adderall is, it's kind

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of like an upper for used for A DHD, and

so it makes you feel amazing, and I loved

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that because I could get a lot done.

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However, I had never taken it

before because I didn't do drugs.

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Little did I know alcohol is a drug.

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I didn't even know that until 20 18, 20

19, 4 years, five years into my sobriety.

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I had no idea.

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That alcohol was a drug and they

took, came to me when I was on this

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break and I didn't know what to do

and they say, Hey, just take this.

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You're gonna feel amazing.

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You're not even gonna think about him.

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At that point, I was at a crossroads.

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I'm like, you know what?

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Screw it.

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I'm just gonna do it.

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And I took it.

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I felt amazing.

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I stayed up all night because

that's what uppers do.

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And then I dyed my hair.

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I said, this is the best

thing that ever happened.

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And then the crash came

where my anxiety peaked.

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I didn't know what to do.

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All my problems were still there.

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The heartbreak was still there.

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And so then it got.

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This seed planted in my brain of, okay,

well I'm not gonna do Adderall, but I

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could do the same thing with alcohol.

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'cause alcohol changes how I feel.

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I don't have to feel.

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So over time I started to

self-medicate that anytime that

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life got hard, I would drink.

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Speaker: I would.

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So did you actually, I'm

sorry, I have to jump in.

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Did you actually have that thought?

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Because did you actually have that

thought that I'm going to do this so I

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can feel better instead of taking this.

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Yeah.

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It is so crazy because for me, and like

I said, my story is very different.

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It like snuck up on me.

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Speaker 4: Hmm.

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Speaker: You know, I, I didn't like,

I didn't realize after a stressful day

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that I wanted a glass of wine and I

was different than you where I only.

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Drank with my husband, but it was

like every night a glass of wine.

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Yeah.

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And it was because I was stressed out and

back in the day, Jen, they talked about

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it is good for you, you know, to relax.

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So I was like, it's gonna help your heart.

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Yeah.

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It's healthy.

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Yeah.

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And do you know.

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It causes breast cancer, which I

went through and that was when.

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But the thing about that for me in

my journey, and I wanna get back to

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your story, but I just had to jump in

because I think that's so interesting

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that you actually thought that through.

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Because for me it was a sneaky

thing where all of a sudden I went.

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I don't think I can stop.

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And even before, like before the

breast cancer, I knew like, I'm

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like, this kind of has a hold on me.

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And like we'd be on vacation, be like,

and I'd wake up in the morning and I'd

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think, I don't wanna have a drink today.

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'cause I never felt great even

after just one glass of wine.

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And then the night would come and my

husband would be having a beer and I'd

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be like, well, I'll just have one glass

of wine and it snuck up on me like that.

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And so, um.

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That's why I had to jump in because

your story is so different that

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you actually thought through

it, but it's kind of the same.

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You know, we're using it in the same way.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Whether it's stress, whether it's habit.

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Mm-hmm.

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Like after this, and I do this,

whether it's we're seeking connection.

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Mm-hmm.

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Because what do we see?

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A lot of what we experience and what we're

using alcohol for is what we experience

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and saw in childhood as we grow up.

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We see that in movies of, oh my gosh,

they're connecting on date night.

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Speaker: Yes.

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Disney

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Speaker 3: movies.

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I'm like blowing my mind

watching these with my kids.

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I'm like, oh my gosh.

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Having champagne.

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Mm-hmm.

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So it's fancy.

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This is what you do on date night,

you know, and a lot of times

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when we start drinking, it's a,

I mean, not for everyone, for

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a lot of us it's like 15 to 18.

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What's happening in that time is you're

starting to learn how to socialize.

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You starting to develop your social

circles, figure out who you are.

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Like so much is changing.

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You're maybe starting to date

and alcohol enters the picture.

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And so when we take that away.

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It's like I don't even

know how to go on a date.

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Like I don't know how to socialize.

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And we get nervous about all of

these things 'cause it's so ingrained

208

00:09:32,130 --> 00:09:36,330

social hour, you go to a work party,

happy hour, like all of these things.

209

00:09:36,330 --> 00:09:40,800

It's so ingrained in our society

that when we take that away, we

210

00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:44,819

don't know how to act because it was

like our coping mechanism mm-hmm.

211

00:09:45,060 --> 00:09:45,600

For so many years.

212

00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:48,240

And that's how it can kind of

just sneak up on you where.

213

00:09:48,944 --> 00:09:53,055

You don't know how to stop or else

you feel so uncomfortable that

214

00:09:53,055 --> 00:09:59,084

you're going to seek that out to

quiet or to calm any discomfort

215

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that you're feeling from doing so.

216

00:10:00,675 --> 00:10:00,765

Right.

217

00:10:01,485 --> 00:10:06,435

Speaker: And, and like you perfectionist,

same kind of upbringing and just was

218

00:10:06,555 --> 00:10:09,314

always working so hard to be perfect.

219

00:10:09,555 --> 00:10:09,645

Mm-hmm.

220

00:10:09,885 --> 00:10:13,600

And so then you just needed

something to kinda take the edge off.

221

00:10:14,939 --> 00:10:15,839

Calm you down.

222

00:10:16,020 --> 00:10:18,089

But Jen, this is what's so interesting.

223

00:10:19,589 --> 00:10:21,300

I don't know.

224

00:10:22,920 --> 00:10:27,959

Quite honestly, I'm very thankful for

the breast cancer because I don't know

225

00:10:28,469 --> 00:10:31,709

if I would have stopped without that.

226

00:10:32,550 --> 00:10:34,530

Total change of life total.

227

00:10:34,530 --> 00:10:35,880

Like I just surrendered.

228

00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:37,410

I went, holy cats.

229

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I don't have control over anything.

230

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You know, it was just really

a bizarre, amazing experience.

231

00:10:44,670 --> 00:10:48,930

But, but as I'm saying that, because

I'm thinking of the woman out

232

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there who's like me, and I really,

I didn't really even get drunk.

233

00:10:53,010 --> 00:10:56,070

I didn't blackout, I didn't,

I know you, you know, we, we

234

00:10:56,070 --> 00:10:57,450

have different stories, but.

235

00:10:58,725 --> 00:11:02,325

How would I have gotten there

without the breast cancer?

236

00:11:02,325 --> 00:11:03,975

I don't want you to

have to go through that.

237

00:11:04,515 --> 00:11:08,805

Um, or something horrible to

get to this point where now,

238

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I mean, let's talk about it.

239

00:11:10,035 --> 00:11:12,855

I can get up at seven 30 on a

Saturday morning and go work

240

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out super hard in the class.

241

00:11:14,955 --> 00:11:15,735

So freeing.

242

00:11:15,735 --> 00:11:18,945

I don't ever feel crappy

in the morning from that.

243

00:11:19,845 --> 00:11:20,625

Yes.

244

00:11:20,715 --> 00:11:20,925

Yeah.

245

00:11:20,925 --> 00:11:21,585

So amazing, right?

246

00:11:21,585 --> 00:11:25,665

Speaker 3: Like the things we get to do

and sometimes it gives us a wake up call.

247

00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:28,920

Sometimes we have to have

something like our health come up.

248

00:11:28,980 --> 00:11:29,070

Speaker 4: Mm-hmm.

249

00:11:29,520 --> 00:11:31,380

Speaker 3: For it to be

like, what am I doing?

250

00:11:31,650 --> 00:11:33,270

What and why am I using it?

251

00:11:33,270 --> 00:11:34,470

And all of these things.

252

00:11:34,470 --> 00:11:36,870

And then switching it to all

of the things I get to do.

253

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And um, and I'm so happy you

were able to get through it.

254

00:11:40,170 --> 00:11:40,530

Right.

255

00:11:40,530 --> 00:11:44,640

And where we can see the good in

something that's been super hard

256

00:11:44,700 --> 00:11:47,880

and that we've had to go through

is that it got me to this place.

257

00:11:47,940 --> 00:11:51,930

And thank goodness it did, because

otherwise I wouldn't have known or you

258

00:11:51,930 --> 00:11:53,730

wouldn't have known a different way.

259

00:11:54,255 --> 00:11:55,545

Where would my life be?

260

00:11:55,604 --> 00:11:58,875

Where would your life be if

you didn't have that diagnosis?

261

00:11:58,935 --> 00:11:59,354

Speaker: I know.

262

00:11:59,745 --> 00:12:00,194

Yeah.

263

00:12:00,854 --> 00:12:05,145

Um, I know it's funny because when

I think about it, and it was very

264

00:12:05,145 --> 00:12:10,214

early detection stage one, but I

think I'm gonna live longer because

265

00:12:10,214 --> 00:12:15,435

of that, because I've changed my life

and it's affected my husband and.

266

00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:22,170

It's amazing, but I am so excited to

get into, you had, you said you have

267

00:12:22,170 --> 00:12:26,400

seven daily habits because I'm thinking

of that woman who's where I was.

268

00:12:26,730 --> 00:12:26,820

Speaker 4: Mm-hmm.

269

00:12:27,060 --> 00:12:27,360

Speaker: Right.

270

00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:29,550

Who's not, not really like,

they don't feel like they're

271

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an alcoholic, or maybe they do.

272

00:12:31,230 --> 00:12:31,770

I don't know.

273

00:12:31,770 --> 00:12:31,830

Yeah.

274

00:12:32,220 --> 00:12:33,900

I do have one question for you, though.

275

00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:37,470

I heard you say that you

don't use that word anymore.

276

00:12:37,740 --> 00:12:38,070

Mm-hmm.

277

00:12:38,535 --> 00:12:39,285

Tell me about that.

278

00:12:39,645 --> 00:12:43,875

Speaker 3: Yeah, and I love to have

women, so I only coach women, but

279

00:12:43,875 --> 00:12:47,685

women define what to call themselves

and what to label themselves.

280

00:12:47,685 --> 00:12:52,545

Now, 13 to 15 years ago when I was

seeking this out and I didn't know

281

00:12:52,545 --> 00:12:53,984

what to do, I don't know where to turn.

282

00:12:53,984 --> 00:12:56,594

There was not the options out

there that there are today.

283

00:12:56,594 --> 00:13:00,285

It's so cool that you get to choose

your recovery in a way that works

284

00:13:00,285 --> 00:13:04,275

for you, but when I was there, it

was just this way and that's it.

285

00:13:04,964 --> 00:13:05,535

And then.

286

00:13:06,045 --> 00:13:10,574

Even before I even knew what was

going on with me, nothing against aa.

287

00:13:10,694 --> 00:13:11,114

Alright.

288

00:13:11,505 --> 00:13:16,604

I did it for many years, but I went

there and then you say, hi Jen, I'm

289

00:13:16,604 --> 00:13:18,135

an alcoholic, but I'm like, am I?

290

00:13:18,825 --> 00:13:20,805

You know, like, I don't know.

291

00:13:20,805 --> 00:13:21,405

Speaker 4: Mm-hmm.

292

00:13:21,411 --> 00:13:23,925

Speaker 3: And so I used it for

many years, but then I'm like,

293

00:13:23,955 --> 00:13:26,445

I dunno if I like that anymore.

294

00:13:26,505 --> 00:13:31,035

Because to me it just seemed

kind of negative and everyone is

295

00:13:31,305 --> 00:13:33,075

entitled to their own opinion.

296

00:13:33,075 --> 00:13:34,395

There is no right opinion.

297

00:13:34,845 --> 00:13:36,435

It's only a personal choice.

298

00:13:36,885 --> 00:13:38,265

And then I'm like, you know what?

299

00:13:38,265 --> 00:13:38,895

I'm sober.

300

00:13:39,810 --> 00:13:44,640

I like, and then I started calling

myself sober in like 2020 or 2019.

301

00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:47,640

And then I'm like, I don't

even like that anymore.

302

00:13:48,150 --> 00:13:52,590

And then the past couple years, what

sounds really good for me is alcohol free

303

00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:55,530

because it's, it's so, it's the free part.

304

00:13:55,530 --> 00:13:59,280

And I think that's what

sobriety offers us is freedom.

305

00:13:59,490 --> 00:14:02,575

Oh god, freedom from staying

stuck in the same cycle.

306

00:14:03,525 --> 00:14:09,045

From being tired and anxious and all

of this, it offers freedom of time, you

307

00:14:09,045 --> 00:14:11,115

know, all of this freedom from anxiety.

308

00:14:11,145 --> 00:14:13,965

Like even though I still have

anxiety, it's not to that extent.

309

00:14:13,965 --> 00:14:16,155

Like so much is available to us.

310

00:14:16,155 --> 00:14:21,015

So much opportunity and it's such a,

in a positive light, and I think it's

311

00:14:21,405 --> 00:14:27,045

more accepting and easy for people

to say that they're alcohol free.

312

00:14:27,194 --> 00:14:27,285

Mm-hmm.

313

00:14:27,645 --> 00:14:31,785

Rather than put me in a label

if I don't have a problem.

314

00:14:32,490 --> 00:14:37,079

Of alcoholic, it's it, I think

it really helps to tear people,

315

00:14:37,079 --> 00:14:38,225

or not even to tear, but it.

316

00:14:39,105 --> 00:14:43,875

Encourage people to try it even if

they don't have a problem, right?

317

00:14:43,875 --> 00:14:49,185

Even if they drink on occasion of

asking better questions of the fear

318

00:14:49,185 --> 00:14:50,865

of, oh my gosh, I'm an alcoholic.

319

00:14:50,895 --> 00:14:55,875

Oh, the fear that I had of that label

kept me from getting sober for many years.

320

00:14:56,405 --> 00:14:57,905

Because it scared me.

321

00:14:57,910 --> 00:14:58,209

Mm-hmm.

322

00:14:58,295 --> 00:15:00,605

Because my vision was this,

that meant I was weak.

323

00:15:00,694 --> 00:15:01,770

I mean, just saying what I thought.

324

00:15:01,770 --> 00:15:02,170

Mm-hmm.

325

00:15:02,285 --> 00:15:02,855

I was weak.

326

00:15:02,855 --> 00:15:03,845

I couldn't handle it.

327

00:15:03,905 --> 00:15:05,645

Like, what would that do to my image?

328

00:15:05,944 --> 00:15:08,074

People were gonna think

I couldn't do this.

329

00:15:08,584 --> 00:15:13,355

But then, and I, I accepted it, I

said it, and I was great with it.

330

00:15:13,355 --> 00:15:15,995

And then I, I wasn't, and

then I started something else.

331

00:15:15,995 --> 00:15:18,095

I tried that on and then

now I'm trying this on.

332

00:15:18,155 --> 00:15:21,905

But then I also ask, why do we

even need to label ourselves?

333

00:15:23,220 --> 00:15:26,640

Do we even need a label

to say, I'm alcohol free.

334

00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:28,650

I've been sober for 12 and a half years.

335

00:15:29,850 --> 00:15:30,120

I don't.

336

00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:31,830

I never say I am a non-smoker.

337

00:15:32,235 --> 00:15:32,685

Speaker: Right.

338

00:15:33,105 --> 00:15:38,475

Speaker 3: Or I, I'm a non-sugar

person, or, you know, it's just like,

339

00:15:38,475 --> 00:15:42,195

why do I have to say I'm alcohol

free unless that feels good for you?

340

00:15:42,195 --> 00:15:42,615

I don't know.

341

00:15:42,620 --> 00:15:45,735

I, I start to just question things,

and this is, why do we even have

342

00:15:45,735 --> 00:15:46,515

Speaker: to label it?

343

00:15:46,695 --> 00:15:47,775

Speaker 3: Why do I have to label it?

344

00:15:47,865 --> 00:15:50,805

I, if I don't eat gluten, I don't

say, Hey guys, I'm gluten free.

345

00:15:50,985 --> 00:15:54,615

Or, or unless I'm like, I, I had

surgery like over a month ago

346

00:15:54,615 --> 00:15:55,575

and I'm like, I'm gluten free.

347

00:15:55,575 --> 00:15:57,225

I can't eat that, but.

348

00:15:57,795 --> 00:15:58,875

That's only instance.

349

00:15:58,935 --> 00:16:01,875

Um, so why do we have to say

that, right, with alcohol?

350

00:16:01,875 --> 00:16:05,325

Because again, it's so ingrained

and we can have fear that

351

00:16:05,325 --> 00:16:07,485

people might take offense to it.

352

00:16:07,545 --> 00:16:11,685

But I always say, what do

you wanna call yourself?

353

00:16:11,685 --> 00:16:13,395

Do you wanna call yourself anything?

354

00:16:14,205 --> 00:16:16,185

And so many things other than the label.

355

00:16:16,185 --> 00:16:21,135

I'm a mom, I am a sober coach,

like chicken farmer, just like you.

356

00:16:21,345 --> 00:16:22,935

I have all these other things.

357

00:16:23,145 --> 00:16:25,890

And yeah, alcohol free

is one of 'em, but, um.

358

00:16:26,925 --> 00:16:31,275

You get to decide what that is, and

that can change over time as well.

359

00:16:32,474 --> 00:16:36,615

Don't ever let anybody tell you otherwise

that you have to be labeled this or

360

00:16:36,615 --> 00:16:41,444

do that or put into a category that,

listen to yourself, listen to your gut.

361

00:16:41,714 --> 00:16:45,285

Do what feels right, and if it doesn't

work anymore, try on something else.

362

00:16:45,615 --> 00:16:45,974

Speaker: Right.

363

00:16:46,035 --> 00:16:47,714

Speaker 3: So that was kind

of my experience with it.

364

00:16:47,954 --> 00:16:48,915

Speaker: Yeah, I like that.

365

00:16:48,915 --> 00:16:49,485

I like that.

366

00:16:49,485 --> 00:16:52,785

And what you're saying about labels

hits home with me even through cancer.

367

00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:55,840

I didn't want to be in that club.

368

00:16:55,840 --> 00:17:00,970

I didn't want to wear pink, I didn't

want to, you know, it was just, it was

369

00:17:01,030 --> 00:17:05,589

really a very different, so I totally

understand and hear what you're saying.

370

00:17:05,589 --> 00:17:09,490

And it's funny because as I'm talking

the little like honest, Lisa, I feel

371

00:17:09,490 --> 00:17:14,200

like I wanna tell you, I probably

once a month, like if I go to a

372

00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:18,848

vineyard or if there's something, a

wedding, I might have a glass of wine.

373

00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:22,780

And I am going to tell you,

it is so different now.

374

00:17:23,219 --> 00:17:26,819

Because I don't, and a lot of times

I won't even finish the glass.

375

00:17:27,240 --> 00:17:27,358

Speaker 4: Mm-hmm.

376

00:17:27,898 --> 00:17:29,550

Speaker: It's not like it used to be.

377

00:17:29,580 --> 00:17:32,280

It's like it doesn't have its hold on me.

378

00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:35,250

And I think that's so interesting and

maybe you can speak more to that and

379

00:17:35,250 --> 00:17:38,729

maybe you don't even need to, but I

just thought, isn't that interesting?

380

00:17:39,179 --> 00:17:39,389

Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.

381

00:17:40,050 --> 00:17:41,709

Because you've grown

in this process, right?

382

00:17:41,709 --> 00:17:41,875

Mm-hmm.

383

00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:43,709

I think even when you take a period away.

384

00:17:44,594 --> 00:17:49,485

And if you do choose to go back

out, um, your, your reasons

385

00:17:49,485 --> 00:17:50,865

for using it are different.

386

00:17:51,435 --> 00:17:51,794

Speaker: Yes.

387

00:17:52,004 --> 00:17:55,695

Speaker 3: So, um, I think it's, and

again, it's different for everybody

388

00:17:55,875 --> 00:18:02,324

whether you want to, it's for the taste,

whether it's just, uh, an occasion that

389

00:18:02,324 --> 00:18:06,705

you wanna have it, whether you wanna go

NA and do an NA wine or things like that.

390

00:18:07,245 --> 00:18:11,219

Um, your reason, again, your

reasons and your why is different.

391

00:18:12,270 --> 00:18:12,690

Speaker: Yeah.

392

00:18:12,930 --> 00:18:13,560

Speaker 3: That's awesome.

393

00:18:14,159 --> 00:18:15,000

Speaker: I love that.

394

00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:15,780

I love that so much.

395

00:18:15,780 --> 00:18:19,620

Can you share those six daily

habits that you mentioned?

396

00:18:19,980 --> 00:18:21,300

Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely.

397

00:18:21,300 --> 00:18:26,010

So in my programs, I love to

do things together and so.

398

00:18:26,385 --> 00:18:29,445

Because of my extensive history

with inpatient, I've been

399

00:18:29,445 --> 00:18:30,825

to inpatient three times.

400

00:18:30,825 --> 00:18:32,415

I've been to outpatient eight times.

401

00:18:32,415 --> 00:18:33,915

I've done two gwis.

402

00:18:33,915 --> 00:18:34,935

I've gotten to detox.

403

00:18:34,935 --> 00:18:40,365

I've done a lot of things, and so I wanted

to do this together because community

404

00:18:40,365 --> 00:18:42,495

doing things in numbers is so important.

405

00:18:42,495 --> 00:18:45,675

And so what we do is we

do these habits together.

406

00:18:45,675 --> 00:18:47,475

I get them prepped and ready to go.

407

00:18:47,595 --> 00:18:52,605

We have a day one of what this is the

things that you can experience, and then.

408

00:18:52,860 --> 00:18:55,980

This is what you might feel like those

first few days, those first few weeks.

409

00:18:55,980 --> 00:18:57,180

Here's how we are gonna get through it.

410

00:18:57,630 --> 00:19:01,560

Now, the habits really help you to get

through what's called, I like to call,

411

00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:06,780

like the dip in sobriety is where once

you have a high dopamine hit, like

412

00:19:06,780 --> 00:19:11,340

alcohol, like drugs is, anytime you have

a high, you're gonna experience a crash.

413

00:19:11,820 --> 00:19:13,680

And if you've been doing it

for a while, you're gonna feel

414

00:19:13,680 --> 00:19:15,060

kind of crappy for a while.

415

00:19:15,705 --> 00:19:20,055

Which again, for anybody who's doing 30

days, it's great, but it's not enough time

416

00:19:20,175 --> 00:19:23,295

because you're still in the early stages.

417

00:19:23,655 --> 00:19:23,985

But.

418

00:19:24,510 --> 00:19:27,840

The withdrawal, which can

last, you know, up to 10 days.

419

00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:31,080

Really around that three to five days

is that's where the habits come in.

420

00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:34,020

They can help bring structure,

they can help fill the time.

421

00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:37,830

'cause one thing that you can get when

you stop drinking is a lot of time

422

00:19:37,830 --> 00:19:38,460

Speaker 4: back.

423

00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:38,850

Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.

424

00:19:38,856 --> 00:19:40,530

'cause it's really wasteful of that.

425

00:19:40,530 --> 00:19:42,690

And it also helps boost your confidence.

426

00:19:43,020 --> 00:19:46,830

What I like to do is I like to give

women trackers, Hey, here's your habit.

427

00:19:47,595 --> 00:19:50,325

Cross it off when you're

done and in turn that's gonna

428

00:19:50,325 --> 00:19:51,675

produce a little dopamine hit.

429

00:19:52,065 --> 00:19:55,065

And what helps boost confidence

is showing up for the things

430

00:19:55,065 --> 00:19:56,475

that you say you're going to do.

431

00:19:56,865 --> 00:20:02,445

And all of these habits help to produce

dopamine and help to help you feel

432

00:20:02,445 --> 00:20:04,395

your best during kind of that dip.

433

00:20:04,935 --> 00:20:09,075

And so one of the first things

that I love to do that I always,

434

00:20:09,165 --> 00:20:10,995

um, recommend is to drink water.

435

00:20:12,030 --> 00:20:14,670

And if you brought your water,

you can go ahead and take a sip.

436

00:20:14,700 --> 00:20:17,160

But I think one of the

hard, it's hard thing to do.

437

00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:18,540

It's a hard thing to not do.

438

00:20:18,930 --> 00:20:21,660

And one of the best things that it

helps us do, number one, it's gonna

439

00:20:21,660 --> 00:20:24,780

help with your energy, it's gonna

help with any brain fog that you

440

00:20:24,780 --> 00:20:29,490

might experience if you're feeling

sleepy, it's going to again, just.

441

00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:31,550

Help you feel more awake.

442

00:20:31,670 --> 00:20:34,399

Um, it's also gonna help carry

nutrients to your cells and

443

00:20:34,399 --> 00:20:35,810

also help flush the liver.

444

00:20:35,990 --> 00:20:37,940

We're gonna flush those

toxins from our body.

445

00:20:37,940 --> 00:20:41,210

And if you know, not just even with

alcohol, but with other things,

446

00:20:41,389 --> 00:20:45,409

it helps just flush everything

out and keeps you hydrated.

447

00:20:45,409 --> 00:20:48,860

And if you think that your

body is over 60% and your

448

00:20:48,860 --> 00:20:51,200

brain is almost over 70% water.

449

00:20:51,525 --> 00:20:55,965

One thing to help it function best is to

drink more water and keep it hydrated.

450

00:20:55,965 --> 00:20:59,865

And I'm not talking about sparkling

water or anything that's added

451

00:20:59,865 --> 00:21:02,475

in like powders or liquids.

452

00:21:02,745 --> 00:21:04,575

You can add in lemon and things like that.

453

00:21:04,575 --> 00:21:09,255

But I'm talking plain, pure water and

what I recommend is half your body weight.

454

00:21:10,254 --> 00:21:16,284

Now if that's too much, say for instance,

you weigh 300 pounds and half of that is

455

00:21:16,284 --> 00:21:18,475

150 pounds, that's a lot of water, right?

456

00:21:18,985 --> 00:21:21,475

So, and oh, I like to

see you taking a sip.

457

00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:21,800

You know what?

458

00:21:21,865 --> 00:21:21,985

You

459

00:21:21,985 --> 00:21:23,185

Speaker: made me so thirsty.

460

00:21:23,185 --> 00:21:23,754

I'm like, I don't

461

00:21:24,534 --> 00:21:25,195

Speaker 3: guys take a drink.

462

00:21:25,435 --> 00:21:26,334

This is what I do in my calls.

463

00:21:26,334 --> 00:21:27,145

I'm like, guys, take a drink.

464

00:21:29,500 --> 00:21:33,959

So if that's too much, you wanna

increase as you go along, start with 64.

465

00:21:34,980 --> 00:21:40,620

And then ideally, women should be getting

about 92 ounces, at least in water every

466

00:21:40,620 --> 00:21:44,070

single day to feel nourished, to feel,

um, energized and things like that.

467

00:21:44,700 --> 00:21:45,600

So have body weight.

468

00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:45,750

Now.

469

00:21:45,750 --> 00:21:49,260

The second one is one that's

helped me a lot in my sobriety

470

00:21:49,260 --> 00:21:51,060

is reading personal development.

471

00:21:51,060 --> 00:21:55,830

So read 10 pages of Personal

Development or Quit Lit in my program.

472

00:21:55,830 --> 00:21:59,190

So Quit Lit is really just

sober books, and this offered

473

00:21:59,190 --> 00:22:01,230

me a lot of clarity on my past.

474

00:22:01,935 --> 00:22:05,685

Um, clarity over why I did the things

I did, why my parents did the things

475

00:22:05,685 --> 00:22:10,965

they did, other people's stories, other

people's tips on how to do life better.

476

00:22:11,325 --> 00:22:13,965

It helped with motivation

when I didn't know what to do.

477

00:22:13,965 --> 00:22:18,255

It helped bring clarity over why some

women that I was working with didn't like

478

00:22:18,255 --> 00:22:22,905

me, that I had nothing to do with me, and

it was such an eyeopener when I started

479

00:22:22,905 --> 00:22:25,185

doing this, and it's changed my life.

480

00:22:25,665 --> 00:22:28,755

'cause as Maya Angelou says, when

you know better, you can do better.

481

00:22:29,780 --> 00:22:30,889

I'm like, it is so true.

482

00:22:30,889 --> 00:22:33,050

When I know better, I can show up better.

483

00:22:33,440 --> 00:22:36,830

And I've learned so much

from incorporating books.

484

00:22:36,830 --> 00:22:40,760

I like to say my new addiction is

books, but that's a different story.

485

00:22:41,270 --> 00:22:43,280

Um, the next one is gratitude.

486

00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:45,830

So writing five things that

you're grateful for from the

487

00:22:45,830 --> 00:22:50,155

past 24 hours every single day,

because it's easy for us to say.

488

00:22:50,925 --> 00:22:53,805

General things like I'm grateful

for my health, I'm grateful

489

00:22:53,805 --> 00:22:56,445

for my house, and that's great.

490

00:22:56,445 --> 00:22:59,955

However, I noticed the big difference,

which is something that was so new

491

00:22:59,955 --> 00:23:02,025

to me when I started this in 2018.

492

00:23:02,055 --> 00:23:04,215

I didn't know what I

could be grateful for.

493

00:23:04,665 --> 00:23:05,175

I'm just like.

494

00:23:07,905 --> 00:23:09,735

I don't know the light.

495

00:23:09,735 --> 00:23:13,365

So I had to Google, what are some

things you can be grateful for?

496

00:23:13,604 --> 00:23:14,564

I had no idea.

497

00:23:14,564 --> 00:23:15,344

I'm like, oh.

498

00:23:15,885 --> 00:23:19,425

So it was hard at first, but

it got me to get specific.

499

00:23:19,514 --> 00:23:22,294

And I really think when you get

specific, and I learned this.

500

00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:23,379

Rachel Holli.

501

00:23:23,379 --> 00:23:26,860

So she wrote, girl, wash Your Face as

she had this five things that you're

502

00:23:26,860 --> 00:23:28,689

grateful for from the past 24 hours.

503

00:23:28,689 --> 00:23:29,919

That's how I started doing it.

504

00:23:29,980 --> 00:23:30,070

Mm-hmm.

505

00:23:30,370 --> 00:23:33,129

And then I would look through

and scan my day prior.

506

00:23:33,129 --> 00:23:35,165

I'm like, what were some

things that made me smile?

507

00:23:36,780 --> 00:23:41,340

Like it could be, oh my gosh, Walmart had

one bag left of Skinny Pop when I thought

508

00:23:41,340 --> 00:23:43,980

they were out, and that was something

I was really looking forward to because

509

00:23:43,980 --> 00:23:45,870

if they didn't, it would've been bad.

510

00:23:46,290 --> 00:23:46,530

Right?

511

00:23:46,530 --> 00:23:48,360

I've been like, dang it,

they're outta this stuff again.

512

00:23:48,360 --> 00:23:48,750

But I'm like, oh

513

00:23:48,750 --> 00:23:49,710

Speaker 4: my God, there was one left.

514

00:23:50,490 --> 00:23:53,520

Speaker 3: Or it could be I went

to Starbucks and got a Starbucks

515

00:23:53,520 --> 00:23:57,720

coffee or you know, playing

basketball with my son yesterday.

516

00:23:57,929 --> 00:24:03,510

I'm super grateful for that, and so it got

to me to see these little moments that.

517

00:24:03,899 --> 00:24:07,500

Of things going right instead of

focusing on things going wrong.

518

00:24:07,500 --> 00:24:13,020

Because as a species, we're programmed

to think negatively 80% of the time.

519

00:24:13,379 --> 00:24:16,560

Now, 95% of our thoughts

are nega or repetitive.

520

00:24:16,980 --> 00:24:22,439

If you know that you actively have

to seek out gratitude and look for

521

00:24:22,439 --> 00:24:27,179

it, and by developing a gratitude

practice is going to over time.

522

00:24:27,410 --> 00:24:31,220

Help you to become happier

and more fulfilled in life

523

00:24:31,220 --> 00:24:32,120

and be like, you know what?

524

00:24:32,120 --> 00:24:33,500

Life is pretty good.

525

00:24:33,830 --> 00:24:37,070

And I think this is especially

important in sobriety because

526

00:24:37,070 --> 00:24:39,320

we can think like, this sucks.

527

00:24:39,650 --> 00:24:41,390

Like I can't do this, I can't do this.

528

00:24:41,390 --> 00:24:42,110

But it's like, you know what?

529

00:24:42,350 --> 00:24:43,160

What went well?

530

00:24:43,250 --> 00:24:44,780

Gosh, I was so happy.

531

00:24:44,810 --> 00:24:47,600

Like you, I got up at seven

30, crushed a workout.

532

00:24:48,140 --> 00:24:49,490

God, I love my mornings.

533

00:24:49,550 --> 00:24:50,840

I love the peace and quiet.

534

00:24:51,140 --> 00:24:53,600

I love going to bed

and having great sleep.

535

00:24:54,495 --> 00:24:58,425

Like all of these things that we

can look for of why we love what we

536

00:24:58,425 --> 00:25:00,585

do, what we get to do in sobriety.

537

00:25:00,615 --> 00:25:03,345

So five things that you're grateful

for from the past 24 hours.

538

00:25:03,975 --> 00:25:06,885

Now, a big one for me, the

next habit is movement.

539

00:25:06,915 --> 00:25:08,565

So movement, exercise.

540

00:25:08,565 --> 00:25:09,915

I'm very big on this.

541

00:25:09,915 --> 00:25:15,885

I have been almost my whole life with

getting movement into your day every day.

542

00:25:16,035 --> 00:25:19,215

Now for this program, I decreased

it from 30 minutes to 20 minutes

543

00:25:19,215 --> 00:25:20,745

'cause I wanna make this doable.

544

00:25:21,435 --> 00:25:24,705

Movement is so important for your brain.

545

00:25:24,705 --> 00:25:27,825

Of course, we're gonna have the added

benefits of, you know, maybe you

546

00:25:27,825 --> 00:25:31,065

wanna lose weight or build muscle,

but the best thing that movement can

547

00:25:31,065 --> 00:25:33,495

help you with is stress reduction.

548

00:25:34,155 --> 00:25:35,625

Why do most people drink?

549

00:25:36,254 --> 00:25:38,415

Like you said in the

beginning, I was stressed.

550

00:25:38,940 --> 00:25:41,070

Stressed at work, so

it's gonna reduce stress.

551

00:25:41,490 --> 00:25:44,880

It's also gonna help you process

emotions, which is something new

552

00:25:45,120 --> 00:25:46,950

we might not have done in a while.

553

00:25:47,430 --> 00:25:49,920

It's gonna help boost your confidence

if you can complete a workout,

554

00:25:49,920 --> 00:25:52,260

whether it's hard, whether it's

easy, you're like, I did that.

555

00:25:52,260 --> 00:25:53,490

I showed up for myself.

556

00:25:53,940 --> 00:25:57,150

It's also one of the biggest

things if you've been drinking

557

00:25:57,150 --> 00:26:00,660

and even as you age, it's gonna

increase blood flow to your brain.

558

00:26:01,580 --> 00:26:05,449

This is really important because

low blood flow is a precursor

559

00:26:05,449 --> 00:26:07,520

to Alzheimer's and dementia.

560

00:26:07,850 --> 00:26:09,885

So one way that we can repair our brain.

561

00:26:10,845 --> 00:26:12,165

Is to move our body.

562

00:26:12,225 --> 00:26:14,445

That's one of the fastest

ways we can do that.

563

00:26:14,505 --> 00:26:16,395

It's going to increase that blood flow.

564

00:26:16,545 --> 00:26:19,575

And what's great about it is that

you are not stuck with the brain.

565

00:26:19,575 --> 00:26:20,235

You have.

566

00:26:20,235 --> 00:26:24,375

You can change it in a, this

phenomenon called neuroplasticity,

567

00:26:24,885 --> 00:26:28,875

uh, but also movement is also going

to boost dopamine in a natural way.

568

00:26:28,875 --> 00:26:30,495

You're gonna feel the benefits.

569

00:26:30,700 --> 00:26:34,540

Much longer than a glass of

wine if you move your body.

570

00:26:35,139 --> 00:26:39,460

Uh, now one that I incorporated for

this challenge, 'cause I've been saying

571

00:26:39,460 --> 00:26:42,639

it again and again and again, and

it's something that I'm really, really

572

00:26:42,670 --> 00:26:45,280

passionate about, is eating protein.

573

00:26:46,030 --> 00:26:46,330

Speaker 4: Hmm.

574

00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:49,240

Speaker 3: And not only just throughout

the day, I think it's fantastic to

575

00:26:49,240 --> 00:26:52,780

eat throughout the day, every three

hours at least eating good quality

576

00:26:52,780 --> 00:26:55,960

protein, but especially tween.

577

00:26:56,520 --> 00:27:02,370

Work if you have a job and home, so

around two to 3:00 PM making sure your

578

00:27:02,370 --> 00:27:08,220

blood sugar is stable by having a high

protein snack as in cottage cheese, Greek

579

00:27:08,220 --> 00:27:13,260

yogurt, you can do chomps sticks, you can

do Turkey sausage, anything like that is

580

00:27:13,260 --> 00:27:15,510

going to help stabilize your blood sugar.

581

00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:18,660

Now, why is this important

is 'cause low blood sugar can

582

00:27:18,660 --> 00:27:20,490

manifest as sugar cravings.

583

00:27:20,830 --> 00:27:25,360

Alcohol cravings, and we don't

wanna get too low because that's

584

00:27:25,360 --> 00:27:27,610

when our willpower also goes off.

585

00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:31,330

So we don't wanna go into this

transition of shutting off one

586

00:27:31,330 --> 00:27:35,739

thing, turning on another, wearing

two different hats, hungry.

587

00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:40,689

'cause there's this, this acronym, and

you may have heard of it, called halt.

588

00:27:41,590 --> 00:27:44,350

It's kind of like a check

engine night for how you feel so

589

00:27:44,350 --> 00:27:46,179

hungry, angry, lonely, or tired.

590

00:27:46,479 --> 00:27:48,189

If you feel dysregulated.

591

00:27:48,705 --> 00:27:51,285

Go back and ask yourself,

when was the last time I ate?

592

00:27:52,185 --> 00:27:54,405

Am I angry at something or someone?

593

00:27:55,575 --> 00:27:57,435

Am I feeling lonely or bored?

594

00:27:58,845 --> 00:28:00,405

And am I tired?

595

00:28:00,705 --> 00:28:01,755

Do I need to take a nap?

596

00:28:01,935 --> 00:28:03,015

I'm really freaking tired.

597

00:28:03,015 --> 00:28:03,915

I know when I'm tired.

598

00:28:03,915 --> 00:28:05,235

I'm all dysregulated.

599

00:28:05,535 --> 00:28:07,275

I'm irritable, I'm angry.

600

00:28:07,545 --> 00:28:07,875

And so.

601

00:28:08,400 --> 00:28:09,690

When was the last time I ate?

602

00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:15,420

Make sure you're eating every at least

kind of two to three hours and make sure

603

00:28:15,420 --> 00:28:19,320

pro you're having that protein 'cause

that's going to stabilize blood sugar.

604

00:28:20,100 --> 00:28:25,080

As someone who's in perimenopause

right now, I've learned so much

605

00:28:25,080 --> 00:28:28,075

about blood sugar and as someone

who has struggled with her sleep

606

00:28:28,135 --> 00:28:32,940

for three years, I'm like, I think

it's all coming down to blood sugar.

607

00:28:33,645 --> 00:28:38,115

Like it's crazy and how we can

help our blood sugar over time.

608

00:28:38,115 --> 00:28:42,044

But again, just having that two to

3:00 PM protein snack, Greek yogurt,

609

00:28:42,044 --> 00:28:47,504

cottage cheese, uh, chomps, uh,

sausages, anything like that is gonna

610

00:28:47,504 --> 00:28:48,705

be some good quality protein for.

611

00:28:50,210 --> 00:28:52,820

And then the last one, have a

group that you can check into.

612

00:28:52,970 --> 00:28:55,670

Do you have, you know, of

course, minus sobriety.

613

00:28:55,670 --> 00:28:59,629

So I have the women in my group check

in every evening with us, or they also

614

00:28:59,629 --> 00:29:04,040

have Marco Polo groups, which is like a

video chat app with small group of women.

615

00:29:04,700 --> 00:29:07,610

Um, is there a group of friends

that you can check into?

616

00:29:07,610 --> 00:29:10,490

I know this can be different,

but especially for sobriety.

617

00:29:10,530 --> 00:29:14,760

To have a sober community that you can

connect with, whether it's you're checking

618

00:29:14,760 --> 00:29:18,750

in, you're checking out the site, you're

going to a meeting, you're connecting

619

00:29:18,750 --> 00:29:23,220

with a therapist, just something where

you can check in on how you're doing.

620

00:29:23,879 --> 00:29:25,649

Um, so those are the six.

621

00:29:25,649 --> 00:29:29,610

So I believe I've cut around water,

gratitude, reading, exercise,

622

00:29:29,610 --> 00:29:32,340

protein, and, uh, community.

623

00:29:32,340 --> 00:29:35,250

Whether that's a community, a

sober community, whether that's

624

00:29:35,250 --> 00:29:38,639

a mom's community, a breast

cancer survivor community.

625

00:29:38,639 --> 00:29:38,700

Um.

626

00:29:40,139 --> 00:29:43,740

Whatever you are into having

that community is key.

627

00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:45,960

Speaker: So agree.

628

00:29:45,960 --> 00:29:47,700

And I mean, bravo.

629

00:29:47,700 --> 00:29:50,760

Those are, and it's, it's interesting

because I'm writing a book right

630

00:29:50,760 --> 00:29:55,530

now and a lot of what you're talking

about it, it's about living better.

631

00:29:55,980 --> 00:29:57,510

Um, it's not all about cancer.

632

00:29:57,570 --> 00:29:58,680

It's a little bit about that.

633

00:29:58,680 --> 00:29:59,700

It's lots of stories.

634

00:30:00,090 --> 00:30:00,570

Um.

635

00:30:01,350 --> 00:30:06,300

But a big section of it is on how

to live better and feel better.

636

00:30:06,450 --> 00:30:11,280

And you just nailed, you know everything

that I will be talking about in that book.

637

00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:16,830

So when it's done, I'll get you a copy

so you can read it as one of your habits.

638

00:30:18,070 --> 00:30:18,850

I would love it.

639

00:30:19,210 --> 00:30:20,800

So this is so helpful.

640

00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:25,180

And so I just, there was one question

I, before we go, I know we're getting

641

00:30:25,180 --> 00:30:29,050

a little late on time and I wanna make

sure that we let women know how they

642

00:30:29,050 --> 00:30:34,690

can get in touch with you, but can you

share, you were telling me, and I kind

643

00:30:34,690 --> 00:30:40,120

of interrupted your story, you were

telling me that you did some inpatient.

644

00:30:41,205 --> 00:30:47,715

You did aa, what actually stuck with

you and what was it that made it stick?

645

00:30:48,735 --> 00:30:51,315

Speaker 3: Such a great question

and I get so many people that

646

00:30:51,315 --> 00:30:53,024

ask me like, what was it?

647

00:30:53,595 --> 00:30:57,045

And I don't think it was one thing I

thought, I think it was many things.

648

00:30:57,045 --> 00:30:58,395

I think it was me.

649

00:30:59,460 --> 00:31:02,760

Trying and failing and losing things.

650

00:31:02,790 --> 00:31:07,140

'cause I always thought, okay, well I

still have my job and then I lost my job.

651

00:31:07,890 --> 00:31:12,150

Okay, well I still have this, and

then I lost my car because of my DWI.

652

00:31:12,840 --> 00:31:13,110

Okay.

653

00:31:13,110 --> 00:31:16,890

And then I still, and then I was losing

things and my family and husband, now

654

00:31:16,890 --> 00:31:20,580

husband, so I broke down a day and

a half after, or a couple days after

655

00:31:20,580 --> 00:31:23,790

my wedding, and I started drinking

around the clock and didn't hide it.

656

00:31:23,850 --> 00:31:26,940

And that began my year and a half

journey of figuring out what was going

657

00:31:26,940 --> 00:31:29,970

on to seeking help that didn't work.

658

00:31:29,970 --> 00:31:32,280

Going again, going again, going again.

659

00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:35,760

I'm not saying treatment didn't work.

660

00:31:35,790 --> 00:31:38,520

I am just saying I really

wanted to get sober.

661

00:31:38,760 --> 00:31:39,959

I just wasn't ready.

662

00:31:40,590 --> 00:31:44,820

And as someone who's a

perfectionist, I'm very tenacious.

663

00:31:45,270 --> 00:31:47,669

And if you say I can't

do something, mm-hmm.

664

00:31:47,909 --> 00:31:49,860

I'm gonna find every

single way that I could.

665

00:31:50,639 --> 00:31:55,139

And I was trying to make it

work and I don't think I wanted

666

00:31:55,139 --> 00:31:56,639

to drink in the later stages.

667

00:31:56,639 --> 00:31:58,409

I just didn't know how to stop.

668

00:31:59,115 --> 00:32:04,005

Um, and I wasn't honest to my

husband as well and what helped me.

669

00:32:04,905 --> 00:32:09,195

Was again, I think it just takes a

point of time where I came to and

670

00:32:09,195 --> 00:32:12,915

made the cl, the click happened

for me when I was in detox.

671

00:32:12,915 --> 00:32:15,435

For the second time, I was homeless.

672

00:32:16,155 --> 00:32:19,155

Uh, I was staying at my parents

and they caught me drinking,

673

00:32:19,155 --> 00:32:20,265

so they took me to detox.

674

00:32:20,265 --> 00:32:21,255

They didn't want me back.

675

00:32:21,315 --> 00:32:22,695

My husband didn't want me there.

676

00:32:22,695 --> 00:32:26,025

I had $200 to my name and

I didn't know where to go.

677

00:32:26,205 --> 00:32:27,465

And I had court the next day.

678

00:32:27,465 --> 00:32:28,425

I had lost my job.

679

00:32:28,425 --> 00:32:30,495

I had lost my car, I had lost everything.

680

00:32:31,275 --> 00:32:35,235

And I, it was like I had an out of

body experience and I blew like a 0.34

681

00:32:35,385 --> 00:32:40,935

when I went in, and that scared me because

I had been drinking like that for so long.

682

00:32:41,700 --> 00:32:42,900

That was just another day.

683

00:32:42,900 --> 00:32:46,200

And by that point I had switched

to other forms of alcohol.

684

00:32:46,200 --> 00:32:52,680

So my drink of choice in the last

year was mouthwash because I had so

685

00:32:52,680 --> 00:32:54,750

much shame over what I was doing.

686

00:32:54,900 --> 00:32:59,160

I hated rotating my liquor stores,

but I didn't feel that bad going into

687

00:32:59,250 --> 00:33:03,540

Target and buying mouthwash, which

has the same amount of alcohol as

688

00:33:03,540 --> 00:33:06,180

vodka, and I could get drunk off it.

689

00:33:06,750 --> 00:33:10,080

And so at that point I'm like, how?

690

00:33:10,380 --> 00:33:13,050

How many times did I get away with it?

691

00:33:13,650 --> 00:33:15,690

And it was like an autobody

experience where I'm like,

692

00:33:15,720 --> 00:33:17,610

oh my gosh, what am I doing?

693

00:33:18,480 --> 00:33:21,690

And I look down and I'm

just like, I am so done.

694

00:33:22,980 --> 00:33:24,330

And I'm like, I've lost this.

695

00:33:24,330 --> 00:33:24,960

I'm lost this.

696

00:33:25,020 --> 00:33:27,180

Where I wasn't even trying to stay sober.

697

00:33:27,240 --> 00:33:29,130

I didn't want to drink anymore.

698

00:33:29,190 --> 00:33:31,440

I was done a hundred percent.

699

00:33:32,085 --> 00:33:33,855

I didn't know what was gonna happen.

700

00:33:34,425 --> 00:33:36,375

I had so much stuff to clean up.

701

00:33:36,615 --> 00:33:38,685

I didn't know if I was gonna stay married.

702

00:33:39,345 --> 00:33:41,505

I didn't know how to

repair my relationships.

703

00:33:41,505 --> 00:33:45,735

I didn't even know how I was gonna get

back my license, but I said, as long as I

704

00:33:45,735 --> 00:33:48,885

don't drink, I can't make this any worse.

705

00:33:49,515 --> 00:33:51,555

And so I gave up what was gonna happen.

706

00:33:52,560 --> 00:33:54,510

I just kept doing the next right thing.

707

00:33:54,990 --> 00:33:59,790

Like I knew I was gonna have to go

to inpatient again for court, even

708

00:33:59,790 --> 00:34:01,320

though I had already made up my mind.

709

00:34:01,320 --> 00:34:02,430

So that was my third time.

710

00:34:02,430 --> 00:34:03,690

I went to a different place.

711

00:34:04,680 --> 00:34:09,540

I let the people in my life have their

space and I kept showing up for myself,

712

00:34:09,989 --> 00:34:12,270

and I can say it was so much easier.

713

00:34:12,929 --> 00:34:18,600

Once you stop trying to fight it, even

though I had so many things to do, I

714

00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:22,590

had toxilyzer in my car, I had to do

house arrest, I had to do a day in jail,

715

00:34:22,949 --> 00:34:27,569

like all this stuff, it was so much

easier 'cause I didn't have to lie.

716

00:34:27,569 --> 00:34:32,940

I didn't have to, you know, cover my

tracks or like sneak it or even want that.

717

00:34:32,969 --> 00:34:34,739

It was all left from me.

718

00:34:35,375 --> 00:34:38,435

And I, so I think it's just

a matter of time for people.

719

00:34:38,435 --> 00:34:40,655

When you're sick and tired,

there's this quote, sick and

720

00:34:40,655 --> 00:34:41,975

tired of being sick and tired.

721

00:34:41,975 --> 00:34:42,695

I'm done.

722

00:34:43,475 --> 00:34:47,135

And I stopped fighting and I

started living because by that

723

00:34:47,135 --> 00:34:51,034

point in my drinking, I did

not have that much time left.

724

00:34:51,395 --> 00:34:54,545

I was experiencing

symptoms of cardiac arrest.

725

00:34:54,545 --> 00:34:59,315

I was mixing Adderall with alcohol,

and I felt my body shutting down.

726

00:35:00,545 --> 00:35:02,585

But at that point, you know,

at that point, I didn't care.

727

00:35:03,195 --> 00:35:08,865

It took what it needed to take for me to

wake up and I needed to lose things in the

728

00:35:08,865 --> 00:35:11,205

way that I had for me to really get this.

729

00:35:11,205 --> 00:35:15,405

And I'm so happy I did because

if I didn't go through that, I

730

00:35:15,405 --> 00:35:16,665

wouldn't have had my two kids.

731

00:35:16,665 --> 00:35:18,825

And it's amazing what can

happen when you get sober.

732

00:35:18,825 --> 00:35:21,045

I wanted kids for so

long, they're my greatest.

733

00:35:21,045 --> 00:35:22,515

Why is that?

734

00:35:22,515 --> 00:35:24,705

A few months into my sobriety.

735

00:35:25,520 --> 00:35:26,630

We learned I was pregnant.

736

00:35:26,870 --> 00:35:30,200

I'm like, oh my gosh, I thought I

was gonna be infertile 'cause I was

737

00:35:30,200 --> 00:35:32,540

feeding myself poison for so many years.

738

00:35:33,170 --> 00:35:34,340

I'm like, oh my gosh.

739

00:35:34,340 --> 00:35:37,310

And then four months I got

a job back in my field.

740

00:35:37,730 --> 00:35:42,200

I, because before I was driving or I

was, uh, riding my bike to a printing

741

00:35:42,200 --> 00:35:43,550

shop 'cause I didn't have a car.

742

00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:46,580

Uh, within six months I was promoted.

743

00:35:46,970 --> 00:35:49,340

Within less than a year, we had my son.

744

00:35:49,810 --> 00:35:51,279

Which is the greatest gift.

745

00:35:51,279 --> 00:35:54,819

Like I just look at them and if you

need a y of what has come from my

746

00:35:54,819 --> 00:35:59,529

sobriety, it's my two children and

we bought a house and it's like, and

747

00:35:59,529 --> 00:36:02,674

the other thing I did, and I know I'm

taking some time, you're fine, fine.

748

00:36:02,674 --> 00:36:05,529

But the other thing I did before I went

into my last inpatient was I knew I

749

00:36:05,529 --> 00:36:07,120

needed to get honest with my husband.

750

00:36:07,569 --> 00:36:08,799

'cause I had been.

751

00:36:09,194 --> 00:36:12,015

Kind of tee totaling

into Adderall as well.

752

00:36:12,495 --> 00:36:16,814

I wasn't addicted, but I liked it 'cause

it helped cure my hangover and helped

753

00:36:16,814 --> 00:36:18,825

me get things done when I was drinking.

754

00:36:18,854 --> 00:36:23,084

And so I knew I couldn't get sober

and stay sober unless he knew this.

755

00:36:23,444 --> 00:36:26,955

So I had a conversation with

him and in my mind he was gonna.

756

00:36:27,660 --> 00:36:31,020

Tear up the entire house, even though

he's the most levelheaded person

757

00:36:31,020 --> 00:36:34,560

in the world, he was gonna ask for

a divorce, and I'm just like, I

758

00:36:34,560 --> 00:36:35,820

just need to tell you something.

759

00:36:35,910 --> 00:36:39,510

And so I told him, he's

like, okay, are you done?

760

00:36:40,530 --> 00:36:40,875

I'm like, yeah.

761

00:36:42,060 --> 00:36:43,680

He's like, alright, then we're good.

762

00:36:44,385 --> 00:36:45,365

I'm like, oh my God.

763

00:36:45,805 --> 00:36:47,490

I was ruminating over this.

764

00:36:47,545 --> 00:36:48,125

In my mind.

765

00:36:49,225 --> 00:36:50,370

I'm like, oh my gosh.

766

00:36:50,370 --> 00:36:51,990

And then at that point

I'm like, okay, good.

767

00:36:52,110 --> 00:36:53,460

I have no more secrets.

768

00:36:53,790 --> 00:36:53,880

Mm-hmm.

769

00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:54,570

That's it.

770

00:36:54,570 --> 00:36:56,220

I'm like, now I can do this.

771

00:36:56,670 --> 00:36:59,880

And uh, and slowly but surely

it took him a while to rebuild

772

00:36:59,880 --> 00:37:01,560

that trust as I just learned.

773

00:37:01,560 --> 00:37:04,080

It was like two years to

kind of fully trust me again.

774

00:37:04,590 --> 00:37:06,000

And, um, and.

775

00:37:06,415 --> 00:37:09,775

I can't say life is perfect,

but my gosh, it's so worth it.

776

00:37:10,225 --> 00:37:13,855

And I wouldn't be 12 and a half

years sober if it wasn't, if this

777

00:37:13,855 --> 00:37:15,385

sucked, if it wasn't worth it.

778

00:37:15,475 --> 00:37:15,565

Right.

779

00:37:15,565 --> 00:37:16,615

I would definitely go back.

780

00:37:16,615 --> 00:37:19,375

But I know what my drinking

was and it wasn't fun.

781

00:37:19,495 --> 00:37:19,585

Mm-hmm.

782

00:37:19,825 --> 00:37:23,005

Even though in the beginning it

was, and then it became a fun with

783

00:37:23,005 --> 00:37:26,900

problems and then it became a problem,

and that's kind of what I just saw.

784

00:37:28,055 --> 00:37:30,395

Dennis Qua, uh, say in a, in a reel.

785

00:37:30,395 --> 00:37:31,205

I'm like, that's so true.

786

00:37:31,205 --> 00:37:31,295

Mm-hmm.

787

00:37:31,535 --> 00:37:32,585

And then I couldn't stop.

788

00:37:32,855 --> 00:37:34,445

But I used it for anxiety.

789

00:37:34,655 --> 00:37:35,945

It started with heartbreak.

790

00:37:36,155 --> 00:37:37,445

It turned into anxiety.

791

00:37:37,445 --> 00:37:42,125

Since alcohol increases anxiety, it

increases cortisol, Lord knows, if I

792

00:37:42,125 --> 00:37:45,995

would've known that before I was using

it to calm my anxiety, in turn, it

793

00:37:45,995 --> 00:37:47,675

was making my anxiety so much worse.

794

00:37:47,675 --> 00:37:48,335

What the heck

795

00:37:48,695 --> 00:37:48,785

Speaker: I know.

796

00:37:49,625 --> 00:37:51,665

Speaker 3: And then it turned

into where I couldn't stop.

797

00:37:51,665 --> 00:37:51,965

So.

798

00:37:52,605 --> 00:37:54,435

Again, a long answer.

799

00:37:54,795 --> 00:37:59,475

It was many things and all of them

are, were working, even if I thought

800

00:37:59,475 --> 00:38:03,825

they didn't, and even if my family

didn't think it was working, it was,

801

00:38:03,825 --> 00:38:08,835

and I just had to get to a point, I

had to get to the point where I didn't,

802

00:38:09,075 --> 00:38:11,714

or I really wanted sobriety and.

803

00:38:12,570 --> 00:38:14,850

I was ready, I was ready to do this.

804

00:38:15,750 --> 00:38:20,940

Speaker: Well, I, I want to commend

you because it takes a courageous woman

805

00:38:21,390 --> 00:38:25,380

to go through what you went through

and then to turn your life around and

806

00:38:25,380 --> 00:38:27,480

help other people going through it.

807

00:38:27,960 --> 00:38:28,050

Mm-hmm.

808

00:38:28,050 --> 00:38:28,110

Yeah.

809

00:38:28,110 --> 00:38:30,240

And know you're, you're my kind of people.

810

00:38:30,300 --> 00:38:35,130

The that's, I love that you've got

your calling and you're helping people,

811

00:38:35,130 --> 00:38:38,220

and so if we have some listeners.

812

00:38:39,075 --> 00:38:41,080

Want to, can they jump in any time?

813

00:38:41,080 --> 00:38:42,310

Do you start as a group?

814

00:38:42,310 --> 00:38:43,270

How does it work, Jen?

815

00:38:43,810 --> 00:38:46,240

Speaker 3: I like to start as a

group 'cause there's momentum there.

816

00:38:46,240 --> 00:38:46,330

Mm-hmm.

817

00:38:46,359 --> 00:38:48,190

I don't want you to

watch a bunch of videos.

818

00:38:48,190 --> 00:38:50,440

I want you to get in and get connected.

819

00:38:50,890 --> 00:38:53,919

And so, um, I don't have 'em all the time.

820

00:38:54,009 --> 00:38:57,370

I'm considering one in mid-November,

depending on when this podcast

821

00:38:57,370 --> 00:38:59,560

comes out of doing a 31 day group.

822

00:38:59,560 --> 00:39:02,020

And then of course, I'm gonna

have one in January as well.

823

00:39:02,410 --> 00:39:06,279

However, in the meantime, you can

always join Lighthouse Sobriety,

824

00:39:06,279 --> 00:39:07,839

which is my monthly membership.

825

00:39:08,355 --> 00:39:13,485

Anytime 24 7 and get instant

access to over 150 women.

826

00:39:13,845 --> 00:39:15,195

We have meetings every day.

827

00:39:15,345 --> 00:39:16,155

It's fun.

828

00:39:16,155 --> 00:39:19,425

We have book club, we work

out, we do all these things.

829

00:39:19,425 --> 00:39:22,035

It's just a different way

to get sober and stay sober.

830

00:39:22,035 --> 00:39:26,205

And so one of the best things that

you can have is that sober community.

831

00:39:26,535 --> 00:39:26,655

Mm-hmm.

832

00:39:26,715 --> 00:39:30,765

And I would start there, um, and then

be on the lookout for my next program.

833

00:39:31,130 --> 00:39:31,700

Speaker: I love that.

834

00:39:31,700 --> 00:39:35,630

And we'll have all your information in

the show notes so people can find you.

835

00:39:36,050 --> 00:39:39,470

And we have gone way over time, so

I wanna thank you for being here

836

00:39:39,740 --> 00:39:40,910

and I can't help, but I have one.

837

00:39:40,910 --> 00:39:41,870

Do you have time?

838

00:39:41,870 --> 00:39:44,510

Because I have one more question.

839

00:39:45,200 --> 00:39:46,490

Speaker 3: Oh yeah, let's hear it.

840

00:39:46,970 --> 00:39:53,210

Speaker: So as you were talking, I

thought of dear friends who have a son

841

00:39:53,720 --> 00:39:59,150

who's got children, um, almost 40 and.

842

00:39:59,819 --> 00:40:02,939

Kind of, um, has lost everything.

843

00:40:03,180 --> 00:40:03,720

Right?

844

00:40:04,169 --> 00:40:07,290

Many, I mean, I've, I've

watched this going on for years.

845

00:40:07,980 --> 00:40:13,589

And is there, I mean, I think they kinda

keep coming in and bringing 'em home.

846

00:40:15,390 --> 00:40:20,160

Is there any advice that you could

give to parents of these adult kiddos

847

00:40:20,160 --> 00:40:27,299

or spouses or, you know, partners

or whatever that can help them?

848

00:40:27,330 --> 00:40:27,899

Because.

849

00:40:27,945 --> 00:40:31,935

I mean, I know in, in all the

things I've been through, we

850

00:40:31,935 --> 00:40:37,845

can't control other people and how

they feel and we can't save 'em.

851

00:40:38,295 --> 00:40:38,445

Speaker 4: Mm-hmm.

852

00:40:39,015 --> 00:40:42,375

Speaker: But it's pretty

dang hard, you know?

853

00:40:42,375 --> 00:40:43,725

How did your parents do that?

854

00:40:43,725 --> 00:40:46,065

How did you know you

couldn't go back there?

855

00:40:47,295 --> 00:40:48,915

Speaker 3: They just

said I couldn't go back.

856

00:40:49,005 --> 00:40:49,395

Right.

857

00:40:49,425 --> 00:40:52,365

And I think honestly, boundaries.

858

00:40:53,145 --> 00:40:58,185

I think if there's anything that I

can offer, advice is Melody Beatie

859

00:40:58,365 --> 00:41:00,705

offers has a book called det.

860

00:41:01,095 --> 00:41:04,484

No, the LA Letting

Codependent No More, sorry.

861

00:41:04,725 --> 00:41:04,875

That's okay.

862

00:41:04,875 --> 00:41:06,765

She also has a language of letting go.

863

00:41:07,274 --> 00:41:13,575

Um, but she has this phrase where you

can, um, you can detach with love is

864

00:41:13,575 --> 00:41:17,835

where like I needed to lose things

and I only lost things because my

865

00:41:17,835 --> 00:41:19,455

husband and my parents set boundaries.

866

00:41:20,399 --> 00:41:22,290

You can't stay here if you're drinking.

867

00:41:22,919 --> 00:41:26,580

And as hard as it is, it's so needed.

868

00:41:26,669 --> 00:41:32,819

And there's ways we can be compassionate

knowing that this isn't them.

869

00:41:32,819 --> 00:41:36,689

This is, you could say they're

drinking or addiction, but you

870

00:41:36,689 --> 00:41:39,450

can detach, but in a loving way.

871

00:41:40,140 --> 00:41:42,689

And all I wanted someone to

say when I was struggling was,

872

00:41:42,689 --> 00:41:43,979

everything's gonna be okay.

873

00:41:44,970 --> 00:41:46,500

And not to berate them.

874

00:41:47,145 --> 00:41:49,694

But to treat 'em with kindness,

just like you would treat

875

00:41:49,694 --> 00:41:50,984

someone with breast cancer.

876

00:41:51,285 --> 00:41:51,645

Mm-hmm.

877

00:41:52,095 --> 00:41:55,035

Um, but the main thing I want

parents or spouses to know

878

00:41:55,035 --> 00:41:56,685

is to take care of yourself.

879

00:41:57,044 --> 00:41:57,314

Mm-hmm.

880

00:41:57,975 --> 00:42:03,585

I think it's, when this happens, we lose

sight of eating, of doing the things

881

00:42:03,585 --> 00:42:05,685

that we enjoy of getting support so.

882

00:42:07,080 --> 00:42:11,220

Seeking those things of moving

your body, all of those things

883

00:42:11,220 --> 00:42:12,120

that I mentioned, right?

884

00:42:12,120 --> 00:42:16,050

And making sure you're eating, you're

getting your core needs met, and also

885

00:42:16,050 --> 00:42:18,510

seeking support, whether that's online.

886

00:42:19,230 --> 00:42:24,600

Support for families and partners with

spouses who are drinking, or, I know

887

00:42:24,600 --> 00:42:29,700

there's Al-Anon too, if you wanna go

the AA way for how to find that support,

888

00:42:29,700 --> 00:42:31,890

and that can be super, super helpful.

889

00:42:32,250 --> 00:42:37,290

So detach with love, get

really read on boundaries.

890

00:42:38,265 --> 00:42:43,005

Set those boundaries, follow through on

them and know that you're helping them.

891

00:42:43,065 --> 00:42:44,205

Even if it hurts.

892

00:42:44,355 --> 00:42:44,535

Yeah.

893

00:42:44,535 --> 00:42:47,325

Even if you feel grief or not

grief, but shame about it.

894

00:42:48,195 --> 00:42:49,785

Uh, take care of yourself.

895

00:42:51,135 --> 00:42:52,905

Drink water, move your body.

896

00:42:52,905 --> 00:42:52,965

Yeah.

897

00:42:53,655 --> 00:42:54,615

All of those things.

898

00:42:54,615 --> 00:42:57,135

Make sure you're eating and

sleeping as best as you can.

899

00:42:57,195 --> 00:43:02,295

Take care of your children and get

in, get some support with other

900

00:43:02,295 --> 00:43:03,195

people who are going through it.

901

00:43:04,455 --> 00:43:07,545

Speaker: Great advice and thank

you for staying to answer that

902

00:43:07,635 --> 00:43:10,095

one last question that I have.

903

00:43:10,095 --> 00:43:11,775

But it's important though.

904

00:43:11,985 --> 00:43:12,045

Yeah.

905

00:43:12,045 --> 00:43:12,345

I've gotten

906

00:43:12,345 --> 00:43:14,865

Speaker 3: a lot of questions and

I should do some advice on it.

907

00:43:14,925 --> 00:43:16,725

Um, or maybe even a group.

908

00:43:17,235 --> 00:43:20,355

'cause a lot of spouses and partners

are reaching out, what can I do?

909

00:43:20,355 --> 00:43:21,225

How can I help?

910

00:43:21,225 --> 00:43:21,465

And,

911

00:43:21,705 --> 00:43:24,165

Speaker: or parents, you

know, I mean, I'm seeing that.

912

00:43:24,165 --> 00:43:24,765

Yeah.

913

00:43:25,110 --> 00:43:26,010

Speaker 3: Boundaries.

914

00:43:26,340 --> 00:43:26,790

Yes.

915

00:43:26,970 --> 00:43:27,510

Boundaries are

916

00:43:27,510 --> 00:43:28,530

Speaker: so important

917

00:43:28,980 --> 00:43:30,330

Speaker 3: and compassion for that person.

918

00:43:30,330 --> 00:43:30,420

Mm-hmm.

919

00:43:30,660 --> 00:43:32,160

Because they don't wanna do this.

920

00:43:32,160 --> 00:43:33,900

They're doing it because

they don't know better.

921

00:43:34,140 --> 00:43:34,770

Speaker: Exactly.

922

00:43:34,770 --> 00:43:39,750

I had someone, um, talking to me

about that, about addiction in a past

923

00:43:39,750 --> 00:43:44,280

episode, and, and that was the same

way he described it as, you know,

924

00:43:44,280 --> 00:43:45,545

it's just like when someone's sick.

925

00:43:46,215 --> 00:43:47,745

That you love, you're concerned.

926

00:43:47,745 --> 00:43:47,835

Mm-hmm.

927

00:43:48,134 --> 00:43:51,855

And it's the same thing with

alcohol or drugs, so, yeah.

928

00:43:51,855 --> 00:43:51,945

Mm-hmm.

929

00:43:52,995 --> 00:43:55,735

It's not an easy subject,

but thank you so much Yeah.

930

00:43:55,735 --> 00:44:00,555

For taking it on, for helping people

and listeners, go find Jen Hurst at

931

00:44:00,555 --> 00:44:03,855

Lighthouse Sobriety and we'll have, like

I said, everything in the show notes.

932

00:44:03,855 --> 00:44:06,285

So Jen, thank you so much for being here.

933

00:44:06,725 --> 00:44:07,595

Speaker 3: Thank you so much.

934

00:44:07,595 --> 00:44:08,375

I appreciate it.

935

00:44:08,375 --> 00:44:11,524

And if you guys have any questions,

please reach out on Instagram.

936

00:44:11,855 --> 00:44:12,605

I'd love to.

937

00:44:12,694 --> 00:44:14,645

I'd love to get those and help you.

938

00:44:14,645 --> 00:44:14,855

You got

939

00:44:15,120 --> 00:44:16,835

Speaker: a great Instagram page.

940

00:44:16,835 --> 00:44:18,095

That's where I found you.

941

00:44:18,095 --> 00:44:18,935

It's awesome.

942

00:44:19,325 --> 00:44:20,015

Speaker 3: Thank you.

943

00:44:20,075 --> 00:44:20,734

I appreciate it.

944

00:44:20,734 --> 00:44:20,794

Yeah.

945

00:44:21,125 --> 00:44:21,575

Speaker: Yes.

946

00:44:21,575 --> 00:44:23,225

All right, honey, you take good care.

947

00:44:23,375 --> 00:44:24,004

Speaker 3: All right, you too.