Summary

In this episode, Jennifer Parr reflects on the journey of womanhood, emphasizing the importance of embracing one's God-given femininity. She discusses the concept of a 'soft life,' which is not about weakness but about strength and surrender. The conversation covers various aspects of living a soft life, including guarding one's heart, tongue, time, and health, as well as nurturing relationships. Jennifer encourages women to recognize their essential role in the world and to embrace their nurturing spirit while balancing strength and softness.

Takeaways

• Embracing femininity is essential for thriving as women.
• A soft life is about strength, not weakness.
• Women can be assertive while maintaining softness.
• Softness complements the strength of men.
• Living a soft life is countercultural but rewarding.

00;00;00;00 - 00;00;31;01

Jennifer

Hey, friends, I'm so excited about today's episode because it's one that's near and dear to my heart. I've been reflecting on my journey of womanhood through failures, the setbacks, all the heartbreaks, failed relationships, disappointments, and just all the messy moments. But despite it all, I am so grateful. So grateful that God created me as a woman and just continues to teach me the beauty and strength in that.

00;00;31;01 - 00;00;41;22

Jennifer

But let's be real. It can be challenging being a woman in today's society, especially where there seems to be so many worldly definitions and expectations for women.

00;00;41;25 - 00;01;06;10

Jennifer

I've noticed a trend lately where women seem detached from their God given femininity, and whether that's due to survive all societal influences or even personal experiences. I believe that we thrive as women when we embrace the way that God pitifully designed us. And so today, we're diving into what it means to embrace your God given role as a woman,

00;01;06;16 - 00;01;33;23

Jennifer

But not by striving to go harder pop by leaning into a softer, surrendered way of living. That's right. We're talking about the soft life today. And no, I don't mean a lazy or careless life. I mean a soft life. And so in today's episode, I'm going to break it down into two parts just to make it digestible. One, we'll start with the value of a soft life, and then we'll talk about how to practically embrace it.

00;01;33;23 - 00;01;49;05

Jennifer

So you know what to do. Ladies, grab your coffee, grab your tea. If you're not drinking coffee like me. If you're driving, just stay focused. I know we tend to multitask, but whatever it is, I'm so glad you're here. And we're going to dive right in. About living a soft life.

00;01;49;15 - 00;02;11;04

Jennifer

So first, let's clear up some misconceptions about what the soft life is and isn't. A soft life isn't about being lazy, doing nothing, or even being weak. It's not about your job, nor your relationship status, or whether you're married or single. And it's definitely not about following society's trends of what femininity looks like.

00;02;11;10 - 00;02;29;19

Jennifer

It's about living as a woman that God designed you to be. Now, if you're like me, softness might not have been modeled for you growing up. I grew up around strong women who taught me how to survive, how to stand on my own two feet, and how not to depend on anyone,

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Jennifer

even if that meant not depending on a man.

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Jennifer

or maybe you've been hurt by men or life circumstances, and as a result, you've built walls to protect yourself. I get it. And I was there to see softness felt like weakness for me for a very long time. But here's the truth that embracing a soft life isn't about being weak. It truly is about stepping into God's strength and designed for you as a woman.

00;02;55;28 - 00;03;04;20

Jennifer

There is a mindset that I want to debunk. And yes, women, we are strong, but strength isn't the whole story.

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Jennifer

See, we live in a world that celebrates strong, independent, take no prisoners, women.

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Jennifer

And there's nothing wrong with being strong. God also has created us to be soft, not weak. The soft

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Jennifer

See, the softness of a woman balances the toughness of a man, and together they reflect the fullness of God's image.

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Jennifer

When we operate in softness, we actually complement the men in our lives, whether that's a spouse, a father, a brother, a friend. And softness doesn't mean you can't be successful or assertive. It just means that you don't have to sacrifice your femininity in the process.

00;03;44;07 - 00;04;00;22

Jennifer

I want to go even a little deeper so we can unpack this just a little bit more. And literally, let's go back to the beginning, literally back to creation. Genesis. God put Adam to sleep and took one of his ribs to create Eve.

00;04;00;22 - 00;04;18;14

Jennifer

He put Adam to sleep and literally performed a rib surgical operation to create a US woman, a masterpiece. And if you know anything about ribs, they're quite essential for support to the body. It's important to remember this action, this surgery that took place, because

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Jennifer

this surgery was not to remove an imperfection from Adam's body, but instead it was to add something essential and beautiful to Adam's existence.

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Jennifer

So that means you who God created in his image. You are essential. You as a woman, you are God's masterpiece.

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Jennifer

and your softness and nurturing spirit, your ability to create safe spaces. These are all part of God's design for you. So I want you to remember that women are essential. But to know that doesn't mean that men are not.

00;04;53;16 - 00;05;03;08

Jennifer

I married an alpha man and I love that about him. Alan, he is a visionary. He's a strong leader. He makes wise decisions.

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Jennifer

The problem is that I was used to making the decisions when I was single, so it was hard for me to value his decision making skills when we first got into the relationship.

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Jennifer

But when I relinquish the control and I'll call it what it is, it is control.

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Jennifer

we thrive together in our marriage.

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Jennifer

So, yes, you can be successful, the soft, you can be assertive and still soft, and your softness will always, always balance out the toughness of a man.

00;05;32;04 - 00;05;37;27

Jennifer

So with that said, there will be no ball bashing or no man bashing on this podcast.

00;05;37;27 - 00;05;48;07

Jennifer

So now that we've briefly talked about the value and power of softness and how it's a part of God's design and how he created women, how do we embrace a soft life?

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Jennifer

First is guard your hearts and your home. All right. So as women, we are guardians of our home.

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Jennifer

Whether you're married, whether you're single, God has given you influence over your space and the people in it. Your home should be a safe place where everyone feels valued, cherished and respected, including yourself. Now, if you're married, just as God has an important calling on your life, remember, He also has a strong calling on your husband, your kids, if you have them and your marriage.

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Jennifer

And guess what

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Jennifer

the enemy is after that.

00;06;24;28 - 00;06;47;12

Jennifer

When I decided to take this role, this job, so to speak, of being the guardian of my home was seriously. I remember looking for Scripture and I kept coming back to Titus two five, where it talks about women being the keeper of our home. And now there's so many translations in this verse can get a little controversial, just maybe for the wrong reasons.

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Jennifer

But let's focus on

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Jennifer

being the keeper of our home. Now the nivi translates it as to be busy at home.

00;06;55;09 - 00;07;13;17

Jennifer

New Living translation says to work in our homes. The message says, Just keep a good house. I mean, there's so many different translations and all of them center around a mixture of management, Good housekeeping, and creating a home where God can be honored no matter the translation.

00;07;13;17 - 00;07;24;23

Jennifer

Right. But one thing is clear, and if you look at the Greek word for workers at home, I want to make sure I say this right. But the Greek word is you chorus

00;07;24;29 - 00;07;40;21

Jennifer

I think I said that right. And if you break that apart, that comes from two words. So Yukos, which is housed in or is which is the guard meaning that women this verse is simply saying that we are the guardian of our home.

00;07;40;21 - 00;07;51;20

Jennifer

So I like the idea of being a guardian of my home without our own preconceived notions of gender roles. So remember, women winning women

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Jennifer

Let home be a safe place. Let it be a place where each family member, including yourself, thrives. And in order to do that, you have to guard it.

00;08;01;01 - 00;08;07;16

Jennifer

And people in it will thrive simply by your presence alone and the environment that you created.

00;08;07;16 - 00;08;14;22

Jennifer

There's so much power in that. So before you spend hours coveting or admiring others on social media or your circle of friends,

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Jennifer

Maybe examine how you have been given a blank canvas to influence your home. And it doesn't have to look like anyone else's. But the first step to do that is truly leaning into being the guardian of that territory first.

00;08;29;02 - 00;08;34;23

Jennifer

Proverbs 423 reminds us to guard our hearts because everything we do flows from it.

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Jennifer

so another way to embrace a soft life is to guard your tongue.

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Jennifer

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Jennifer

So our words can either be life giving or life taking.

00;08;58;09 - 00;09;03;03

Jennifer

I know society often celebrates women using their voices and not being silenced.

00;09;03;03 - 00;09;15;21

Jennifer

and I wholeheartedly agree that there's a healthy balance in that. But here's the thing. Just because we can speak doesn't always mean we should. And I mean that in the most loving way.

00;09;15;21 - 00;09;32;11

Jennifer

Okay, a little side note. I do think this is received differently when it comes to a woman versus if a man were to say what I just said. But the truth is, sometimes even when we have something to say, it might not be the right time to say it. For me, this is especially true when I'm irritated.

00;09;32;18 - 00;09;45;14

Jennifer

I mean, holding back in those moments takes more strength than we realize. But it's so worth it. And if I'm being honest, I've always seen power in using my voice. But unfortunately, I've used it as a weapon to

00;09;46;00 - 00;09;58;00

Jennifer

See my husband. He truly is the most loving, caring man. But my tone can be used as a weapon and can come off so condescending in conversation sometimes.

00;09;58;00 - 00;10;02;10

Jennifer

James, 36. Describes the use of our tongue like fire.

00;10;02;10 - 00;10;20;06

Jennifer

And at the same time, I'm also positively reminded that the opposite of that is that a gentle tongue is a tree of life. That comes from Proverbs 15 four. Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit.

00;10;20;07 - 00;10;22;22

Jennifer

That is first Peter 310.

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Jennifer

so these are all scriptures to remember. When you feel like you're hurting those you love with your tongue.

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Jennifer

So as you think of your life, who is on the receiving end of your words and how do they feel when you talk to them? When you look at your marriage, how does your tone to your husband demonstrate softness and love? And even if you're not married, do your words equip? Do they build or tear people down?

00;10;46;14 - 00;10;52;25

Jennifer

I see. The loving tone that you hear on this podcast is not the tone that I've had 100% of the time.

00;10;52;28 - 00;11;08;25

Jennifer

I've had to really work on displaying love through my tone, especially when I talk to my husband in times of frustration and through counseling and God's Word. I've been so convicted in this area and God is truly wrecking my heart in this area.

00;11;09;06 - 00;11;13;11

Jennifer

So just remember, your tone matters. I cannot stress that more.

00;11;13;11 - 00;11;18;09

Jennifer

Okay. So we've talked about guarding your home, guarding your heart, your tongue.

00;11;18;12 - 00;11;34;26

Jennifer

Now we're going to talk about guarding your time. Not everyone and everything deserves your time. I truly think this is very important as we're trying to embrace a soft life. I'll go even further to say that even if you're single, not everyone deserves your heart.

00;11;34;26 - 00;11;39;23

Jennifer

as my mom always said, every woman gets the same 24 hours a day.

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Jennifer

So what you do with it differentiates between a woman who wins versus a woman who doesn't. There's so much we can do with our time as women.

00;11;47;11 - 00;11;53;23

Jennifer

See, my capacity was extremely limited when I was working over 50 hours a week outside of the home.

00;11;53;23 - 00;12;09;26

Jennifer

my family got my leftovers. And there were so many times that my work came before my kids. I missed so many milestones in their lives because of that, and not necessarily by working, but by bringing work home. By working when I shouldn't be working, when I should have been present

00;12;09;26 - 00;12;14;24

Jennifer

and putting deadlines from work before the desires of my family.

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Jennifer

So women winning, women, please don't prioritize your work over your children or your spouse.

00;12;20;19 - 00;12;27;10

Jennifer

And when we talk about guarding your time. If you're single, invest your time. And what brings you closer to God's purpose for your life?

00;12;27;10 - 00;12;41;02

Jennifer

If you have kids, be involved in what your kids are learning. Give yourself that time to invest in their education. Remember, they will produce fruit when watered and empowered. If you're married, be there for your husband.

00;12;41;04 - 00;12;46;27

Jennifer

The devil would love nothing more than to plant seeds to keep your home so corrupt.

00;12;46;27 - 00;13;07;03

Jennifer

See, after leaving my corporate job and I became the CEO, what I call the chief encouragement officer of my home. I ensured that I was creating a space where everyone felt nurtured and respected, especially my husband being everyone's cheerleader in the house takes a level of energy that I truly had to protect.

00;13;07;03 - 00;13;18;24

Jennifer

I mean, how can I cheer and support them if I'm exhausted from burnt out or if I'm angry all the time? I have to protect my time and make sure that my cup is full so that I can pour into those that I love.

00;13;18;24 - 00;13;28;09

Jennifer

Women who live a soft life actually don't say yes to a lot. They've mastered the art of saying no and it's not rude. It's simply protecting their time.

00;13;28;09 - 00;13;35;15

Jennifer

Okay. So moving on to the fourth point about how to truly embrace a soft life and that is to guard your temple,

00;13;35;15 - 00;13;54;06

Jennifer

I recently went on a health journey and I lost £40. But this did not happen overnight. Let me stress, ladies, this did not happen overnight. I did not take any shots. I did not have any surgeries. It took me three years, three years to lose that weight and keep it off.

00;13;54;09 - 00;14;14;09

Jennifer

But for me, my desire to achieve this weight loss came when I realized that I weighed the same as I did when I was going to deliver our son. So the difference was that I just I wasn't pregnant anymore, but I weighed the same. And he's now five years old, so I really couldn't blame baby weight anymore. So this is just a reminder that we have to steward our temples.

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Jennifer

We have to guard what we put in our bodies.

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Jennifer

no matter what age you are. It's never never too late to do it. Your temple. See for me this look like going on a health journey and losing all the baby weight.

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Jennifer

So what does this look like for you?

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Jennifer

What does stewarding your temple? Guarding your temple? What does that look like? You may have to start small. Maybe it's going for daily walks, prioritizing sleep, or even trying a social media fast, whatever that is, to care for your mind and soul. Do it. You don't have to wait. Just do it

00;14;47;06 - 00;15;05;00

Jennifer

So while we are striving to be beautiful and care for our outer appearances as women, please, please don't forget that there is weight in the word beautiful that speaks to an inward quality far beyond your physical appearance.

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Jennifer

Inner beauty is actually more beautiful to me than outer beauty,

00;15;09;00 - 00;15;17;27

Jennifer

And I know they both matter. But don't lose sight of your inner beauty while trying to perfect or even just grow with your out of beauty.

00;15;17;27 - 00;15;29;07

Jennifer

All right. So the fifth and final way that I have learned how to embrace a soft life and that is truly, truly leaning into our nature to nurture.

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Jennifer

women, we were created to nurture.

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Jennifer

Whether that's raising children, supporting a spouse, mentoring others, or simply being a safe place for someone. Our nurturing nature is a gift from God.

00;15;43;01 - 00;16;03;11

Jennifer

Many of you know my husband in our YouTube channel, The Beat, and even though he's in front of the camera, we are a team. And I love I love being his helpmate behind the scenes. I don't need to be in front of the camera for us to thrive. We went together and I take my role as CEO. Remember that Chief encouragement officer very seriously.

00;16;03;13 - 00;16;25;09

Jennifer

I'm his biggest cheerleader. I mean, for my merry ladies, cheer your husband on, believe in him, speak life into him. Your encouragement has the power to transform him and most importantly, nurture the king that you see in him or the king. The you know, he has the potential to be. If you're single and dating. I know it's rough.

00;16;25;09 - 00;16;27;21

Jennifer

Believe me. I know it's rough in these streets.

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Jennifer

so many, my single friends have reminded me how rough it is to be single in today's society.

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Jennifer

But if you don't think you need a man or man cannot add value to your life, then that mindset might keep you single for a lot longer.

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Jennifer

See? For my single sisters. Men value the softness and nurturing spirit that you bring into a relationship.

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Jennifer

At least the right men do.

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Jennifer

So when you meet someone, just be careful. Leading with all your career accolades or all the things that you have accomplished. I promise while that is important, men don't care about that.

00;17;04;14 - 00;17;13;03

Jennifer

You may not realize this, but they're actually looking at how your softness, your nurturing spirit, can add value to their life.

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Jennifer

And finally,

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Jennifer

for the women who haven't been able to have children. God is not done with you.

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Jennifer

Your nurturing spirit is still valuable. God has a purpose for you, and your ability to love and care for others reflects his heart. I'm not saying that this will ever, ever replace your desire to want to have a child of your own. What I am saying is that you still have value outside of your ovaries and God is not done with how he is going to use you in this season.

00;17;46;28 - 00;17;55;15

Jennifer

And so as we close, living a soft life isn't easy. It's actually countercultural to what society says.

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Jennifer

Remember a soft life. It's a surrendered life. It is a submissive wife. It's definitely not a sloppy life or a lazy life.

00;18;04;14 - 00;18;14;15

Jennifer

But it's a life that truly reflects God's design for us. So as we go through this journey together, let's fight the urge to keep up with the world standards.

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Jennifer

Instead, let's embrace who God has called us to be strong, soft and surrendered women.

00;18;22;02 - 00;18;38;03

Jennifer

There's always room to grow in this area, and I'm on this journey with you and I can't wait to hear how you're embracing softness in your life. So thank you for tuning in. Let's go win this week and make God proud. Remember, there's strength in your softness. Before now.