Ever wondered if it’s really possible to juggle the demands of both entrepreneurship and motherhood? 

In this episode, I had the pleasure of chatting with Sara Madera, a career coach for working moms, who shared her wisdom on balancing entrepreneurship and motherhood. We talked about the emotional complexities of juggling business and family, especially post-pandemic. Sara's insights on prioritization and embracing dual roles were enlightening. This episode is a must-listen for women entrepreneurs who are looking for business and personal life balance. 

During our conversation, we touched on topics like:

• Overcoming the "mom trap" of feeling guilty about either not working enough, or not spending enough time with your kids
• Why values alignment is necessary to find success as a mom and business owner
• Steps to define what success looks like for you
• Overcoming time scarcity with the concept of energy management - and examples of what that could look like for a busy mom and business owner
• Embracing dual roles of motherhood and entrepreneurship

Tune in to this episode for a dose of inspiration and practical advice that can help you navigate the beautiful chaos of being a mom and an entrepreneur.

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

FREE GUIDE: Steps to Building Your Authentic Authority

CONNECT WITH CHLOE DECHOW & WEST HAVEN: 

West Haven Website: www.westhavencoaching.com

West Haven Instagram: @westhavencoaching

Chloe Dechow LinkedIn: @chloedechow

CONNECT WITH SARA MADERA:

Website: www.plancreatively.com

LinkedIn: @sara-madera

Instagram: @plancreatively8

This is a space for elevating women's voices and redefining what it means to be a thought leader. Together, we'll unlock the potential of our bright voices and create a ripple effect of change that resonates far beyond the realms of business. This is the Bright Voices in Business podcast. Now let's dive into today's episode.

Welcome back to the Bright Voices in Business podcast. Today I have Sara Madera here with me, who is going to talk to my working moms out there who are managing multiple different responsibilities. So today I have Sara Madera here with me, and we're going to be chatting with our working moms who are entrepreneurs.

Sara is the founder and CEO of Plan Creatively, where she serves working moms as a career coach. She helps them thrive at work and at home while still finding time for themselves, which we all know is a huge juggling act. And she also has had her expertise featured in publications like Fast Company, Forbes, Business Insider, and other top publications.

Thanks so much, Sara, for joining me today. Thanks for having me, Chloe. It's great to be here. I'm excited for our conversation. I know that as our businesses grow, and especially when we start thinking about doing thought leadership work, which usually means doing things like traveling for speaking engagements or, you know, spending your quote unquote free time, which what is that writing a book?

All those kind of like extra activities that come on top of already running a business. There can be some complex emotions that come up that, you know, working moms have to deal with and would love to kind of dive into what is that, first of all, and then how can working moms navigate some of those things that come up for them while they're trying to juggle all the things.

So to speak.

And then, you know, they really realized that, Oh my gosh, like maybe I can't do all of this. And so many started their own businesses right after the pandemic, cause they were like, I want to create a structure and environment that works for me. Right? And then sometimes, I mean, as we all know, like being an entrepreneur is full on.

Right. And so sometimes we kind of get into those places of, you know, that a little bit of a mom trap of what we put ourselves last. Right. And so therefore our business comes last and then therefore we're not making the progress that we want. Sometimes it's the guilt, right? The guilt that we aren't doing as much for our business as we want to be doing, or we're doing a lot for our business and not as much for our kids as we want to be doing.

Right. Or, you know, we have these expectations for ourselves that we can do kind of everything we used to accomplish in our corporate job with all the people around us and maybe our teams. And now it's just us. And we're not accomplishing as much as we did. And then that feels, you know, not as good as we want it to be.

We don't feel successful. Right. And so it can be really complicated to navigate this space Not only as an entrepreneur, particularly if you're a new entrepreneur, but then as a mom as well, because that just adds layers and layers and layers. So it is difficult to really assess. And so, you know, I definitely find that being clear about what it is that we want to accomplish, right?

Like, let's start with like, what is the problem we're trying to solve, right? So, you know, for me, it's supporting working moms. And if disruptor, whatever it is that you're trying to do, you know, being clear about what it is the problem is. And then making sure that you're clear about what success looks like, right?

If part of the reason that you started this business was to have better work life balance, then remember that, right? Put it on a post it somewhere, right? And so just kind of help that be, you know, your driving force, your North star. If that is about, you know, connecting with people, right? If that's really your goal, if you know your goal, I don't, I just said this to be, to be a disruptor, right?

You know, whatever it is that your goal is, keep that in mind and let that help you drive decisions. So if you're trying to decide like, Oh my gosh, here is a, you know, a 3 p. m. call, right? And it comes up right during, you know, time I'm supposed to pick up my kids, you know, how do you decide? How do you juggle?

Right. And there's no judgment here. You know what I mean? I have no judgment around that. But just being clear about what it is that you, if your goal was to have better work life balance, can you take that call at four o'clock instead of, you know, when you come back and after your kid is settled, right?

Is that okay? Or is your goal really to, you know, accomplish, you know, make X dollars by, you know, the end of this quarter, then, okay, can somebody else pick up your kid that day? Right. You know, and it's just, I'm making sure that you're making decisions that aren't weighing on you. Right. But you're just that clear focus, that way that you're going in order to achieve your goals is also clear so that you're not struggling with these kinds of decisions all the time and having that decision fatigue.

Oh

So say somebody is a mom with young kids and she wants. to have, you know, a thriving business that's bringing in, you know, let's start with like 10, 000 a month. Right. And she also has this goal of wanting to be a bit of a disruptor in her space. What would you say then when there are kind of two goals in mind that might seem, you know, competitive in nature?

What would you recommend?

So the idea of like, you know, we're not only in three places at the same time, but you know that the idea that you can be ambitious and a good mom, both can be true. Like I can love my kids to death and still be exhausted. Right? Both can be true, right? And so even with your goals, like this is why it can be so hard to sometimes figure out what is the next best step because, you know, we are multifaceted, amazing, complicated people where we can hold both of these things where more than one thing can be true, but that also can make it harder to unearth a little bit.

What is the actual priority? And maybe that priority changes maybe from day to day or week to week or quarter to quarter, you know, whatever that time frame is. But even if when you have two things, That are true sometimes, particularly in this decision making in a business, deciding which one is the priority right now can really help again with that decision fatigue and help figure out what's the driving factor.

Is it the amount of money we need to make? I'm totally understandable, right? We need to, you know, pay rent or, you know, pay the mortgage or buy groceries or whatever. Understandable. Or is it to really make a change in the marketplace? And so maybe right now, you know, making the money is what's most important, and that's okay.

And being a disruptor is sort of the bigger picture, right? And we'll kind of get back to that. Or you're like, I'm okay on money. I got savings, whatever. And like, really, I really want to make sure that my name is known as this disruptor. And maybe that's the driving force. And that's okay. So even if these two things are true, deciding which one is the priority in this moment can be really helpful.

What is really the priority or the goal? Maybe it's even making them anxious or making them excited, right? Either of those, you know, can tell you good information. And so talking to someone sometimes can help. But I also find for other people that may be sitting still for a moment and just really trying to like figuring out where it is, you know, what is driving you, what feels most important right now, kind of taking a moment to hear, you know, that inner voice, your inner mentor, I call it, who is always going to drive you in the right way.

What is she saying? What is she telling you? For other people, I find that this comes out in movement, like, you know, a gentle movement, like a walk or something like that. And then by the time I get back on that walk, they might be like, right, okay, this decision is clear. You know, this is really what is most important to me right now.

This is really where I feel, you know, the direction I need to take. So there are some choices in that, right. And there is a little bit of exploration, probably that's, you need to figure out what works best for you, but that voice is there. Like, you know, you do have this internal compass that will tell you it's just a matter of like connecting into it and like how you can best connect into it.

And so I know that after stepping away from the agency world that I was in, like, it was a priority for me to get really more in tune with what my body needs. And so if that's something that any of our listeners are feeling. That they need to do too, this could be, you know, when they're trying to weigh these decisions, this could be an opportunity to feel more connected to their body, paying attention to what's coming up for them, having movement, be a part of the decision making process too, sounds like a really good avenue for that.

And I also want to throw in one other idea that came to mind. And I'm curious, Sara, what your opinion would be of this, but. I recently learned of the phrase called tristorming, which is essentially like brainstorming, but instead of using your brain to try to think harder to do all the things, you actually just try something and you see if it resonates with you or with other people.

So it's really about just taking action and it doesn't mean you have to like commit to fully doing it if it's not the right fit, but it helps you actually do the thing to see if it's actually going to get the results that you want. And so. I'm wondering if there's a way for, you know, working moms, entrepreneurs who are moms to really kind of try things out to see what works too and what you think of that or maybe some ways that they could do that.

And sometimes that is, you know, whether that's in your business or whether that's in your, you know, if you're wanting to get promoted or change your career or whatever that may be. And sometimes that is simple as, you know, sitting down with a glass of wine or a cup of tea, whatever you're doing. Drink of choices, you know, maybe putting on like your favorite romcom that you've seen like 10 times on in the background and then opening up your computer.

And just like, maybe that's making a list of things, or maybe that's looking on LinkedIn and just seeing, you know, what jobs spark joy, you know, or what industries spark joy, like what gets you excited and just seeing what that is. And then from that deciding, okay, what's the pattern here? What do I see?

Right. Is it helping people? Is it, everything is in like the food and wine industry. Okay. You know, like how is this informing you? And then what small steps can you take? Right. You don't have to like immediately go out and start talking to those folks and like figure out how to get into that business or how to start your business, but how can you start to take small steps?

You know, what's that next step you can take to try it out? Right. Maybe it's like. I don't know, going to try one of those glasses of wine. I don't know, you know, something that you might actually find enjoyable. And maybe it's calling up a friend and going to a wine bar to, you know, one of those places where you can sample lots of kinds.

You know, maybe it's starting to research, right? There are lots of small steps that we can take that don't have to be so high risk or so, you know, are so scary. Like, what feels good? What feels like the next step? And hey, you go to that wine bar and you try five wines and you're like, I have a headache the next day.

That's not so fun. Like, that's cool. Okay, you know, what's next? What else is out there, right? You don't have to, you know, marry it and like, you know, decide that you're gonna, you know, commit your life to wine. If you're like, okay, that wasn't so fun, right? Right. So how do we make it low risk? How do we make it so that it is, you know, small steps that you want to take?

It is really a career choice in its own way. And maybe it looks a little differently depending on what you're doing, but it's ultimately a career. And I remember just going back to my days before I officially took the leap into entrepreneurship, I reached out to my recruiter at a marketing agency, and it was like this shiny, beautiful opportunity to work at a really, really well known agency that was doing some really, really good Cool things with cool clients and just very creative in nature.

And, you know, I was like, I don't know if I want to do this agency thing or not. And I was like, you know what? I'm going to like go through the interview process and I'm just going to see how I feel about it because that's going to give me the direction of like, do I need a change in where I'm working or do I need a change in like, you know, everything in terms of like structure and time and, and employment.

And I remember going through the process and I was like this. It's such a sexy opportunity and yet it still doesn't feel right. And I wouldn't have gotten that clarity if I hadn't have gone through the process. And so I think this is like a good example of like, try something on for size and you don't have to commit to it.

Like, I didn't join them. I didn't sign any contracts. Like I'm fine. Interview experience and expanded my network a little bit more. But yeah, I think again, like just trying something on for size and taking small action can help get some of that clarity in decision making too. And so for a mom entrepreneur that could be, you know, trying a new schedule on.

Right, or trying a new person to help support with the kids or whatever it might look like, and it doesn't mean you have to commit to it, but you give it a little bit of time and see how it works for you as well.

Right? Like, you know, like you let that inner voice tell you this is cool, but it's not quite right for me right now. And that's amazing. Right? And that is always the information that we'll get. Like, how is this to your point? That was such a great segue, like, how's this routine working for me? You know, is this setting me up for success today?

You know, is this working for me? And if not, that's okay. You can change it. Right. That's cool. Always change. I mean, cause our needs are different, right? Our needs are different in different seasons of our life, you know, sometimes and even in different days, what we need is different, right? I'm not saying change your childcare provider on a day to day basis, but you know what I mean?

There are definitely things that we can change in a day to day that, you know, can fulfill our needs that we have that day.

Looks like or what they what what they want it to look like, but they're still kind of stuck in this taking that first step forward What do you do or help them do to kind of overcome? That hurdle of actually actually doing the damn thing so to speak.

And sometimes it's as simple as, you know, that it actually didn't feel right. That actually didn't feel right. And so it's okay. Like, what is the right action? And you know, what does feel right? Sometimes it's like my whole house got the stomach flu, you know what I mean? And I'm like, also totally understandable, right?

Okay. No, are you still feeling excited about this? You know, now that you've all recovered. I mean, I think that's a, you know, we're moms. Viruses happen. You know, sometimes it's like, I'm really scared, right? I'm really scared. And we talk about what are the obstacles? Why, you know, why haven't you done this?

You know, what's standing in your way? And, you know, sometimes it is those feelings, right? And it's about fear or vulnerability or, you know, all of these different things. But it's always the most interesting when it's I didn't have time. Right. When I didn't have time, because I think that's really, you know, for all of us, like we're all busy, right?

Everyone is busy. Right. And so if we can't make time for ourselves or this thing that we're really excited about, we say we're really excited about, there's probably more going on. Right. And so that does require a bit of conversation and a bit of like, to your point, exactly about feeling multiple things at the same time and feeling like unsure about that direction and just needed to talk through it a bit more, you know?

And so sometimes it's like, Oh yes, I thought this was the direction, but actually. Maybe this is the direction, you know, this is actually the problem. So now that sounds really big, but this is one of the best questions. Actually. It's one of the most fascinating conversations of the, why isn't this happening?

Why? And like really exploring that is, oh my gosh, that's like one of the juiciest coach questions I think ever.

Because usually if we don't do something, we're honoring something else that comes up in our life. So it's not always a bad thing. Yeah, but also if you really, really want that thing that you're going after, you know, you do have to get into action to make it happen. So I think that's a really cool thing to kind of get a little deeper on and see what's really underneath there.

When you were talking, what came up for me was the concept of time scarcity. And I have fallen to this so much throughout my life of like, I never have enough time. I don't have enough time. There's not enough time to do this or that or whatever. And how much that actually stops us, A, like, yes, there are a lot of demands on our time.

B, we have more control over a lot of those things than we actually realize that we do. At least in my opinion, I'm curious, Sara, how you feel about that. But also, like, what can we control? That is going to give us time back in our day to do the things that we, we really want to do. And I'm sure you hear that a lot, working with working moms, working with women who are entrepreneurs who are also have little ones.

I'm curious on this concept of time scarcity, like for you, how often does that come up and how do you work a client through that kind of mentality?

Right. I know most working parents. So I do think that there's one about really being clear about what is important to you, you know, and I had this conversation with a woman, like, you know, be clear on those things, do those things don't do the other things. And she's like, but like, everything's important to me, you know, I have like 20 things that are important to me.

And I was like, okay. You know, we won't survive, right? We, there's just, it's not, that's not sustainable, right? We can't do that, right? So choosing sort of three to five things, right, that are really important to us. And this is where we're going to focus. And yes, part of deciding on those things means we're not doing other things.

And, but again, that helps with the decision fatigue because sometimes if it's the question of, I'm just home from. You know, from my day, you know, giving talks or, or whatever kind of work looks like. And now it's like, do I spend time with my kid or do I make them a healthy dinner? Right. And these are really tough decisions.

And so by being clear, like, okay, you know, connection is what's really important to me and I'm going to order dinner or whatever dinner look, you know, it's not going to be like this perfect, ideal Bon Appetit look, right. That just helps you just. Be able to move through your life and not have that guilt kind of come in because you're clear on where you're going and it allows you to be really focused.

So that is answer number one about how to kind of help the big picture part of that time scarcity. The second part is I really found success in defining the difference between time and energy. So like if your day is like back to back to back to back, right, you know, and this happened to me actually last fall, right, when my kids went back to school, I was really busy.

And my, my day was just, you know, my whole color, you know, the whole calendar was just a full color. And I was like, Oh, my God. But then I started to look at each individual thing. And I was like, Oh, my gosh, I'm really excited for that conversation. Oh, that's gonna be a great workshop. Oh, like, you know, I actually can't wait to go to parent teacher night, you know, at my kids school.

And I was like, each of these things are really fantastic. So I started not time blocking my day, but energy blocking my day. You know, as I went through my day, I was like, okay, like, right. I want to make sure my clients get a lot of energy. Oh, but here I'm actually taking this workshop. So I don't actually don't need to put it forth as much energy here, right?

I can actually take a step back and not put as much energy here. Okay. And then kind of through my day and I kind of plan my energy out throughout the day so that I make sure that I still have energy left at the end of the day for, you know, um, dinner time and bath time and bedtime with my kids. Right.

Because that is also important. And so I just make sure that I have, like, I plan my energy out because those are different, your time and your energy. And like, just noticing where you get energy and what sucks your energy. Right. And that sort of helps, you know, you plan your day as well. Oh my gosh, that meeting with that person.

Oh, that's going to be tough. Okay. You know, so I need to make sure that I kind of plan a bit of time after that, so that I can rejuvenate, kind of get myself back in alignment. That day. And so I really think about my day no longer actually, and as much as I mean, sure, of course, I have schedule and I have, you know, a calendar of things, but I think about my day in terms of where I want to put my energy and that has really just changed my perspective on time and time scarcity, because I am thinking about the flow.

There. And rather than just like the ticking clock,

What is draining my energy? I also think that like can help make decisions around, you know, is this the right client fit for me or is this the right fit for me long term? Like, what do I need to look for in the people or the places or the topics that give me energy versus don't? So I think there's also that bigger pic, not just the day to day, but like the bigger picture of like, how do I arrange my calendar this way?

And then I'm also hearing. Like, what value of mine am I going to honor today, right? Like, so if connection is a value of mine, like, then I'm going to honor connection today. And I do this actually in conversations too. So if I have a sales call or a podcast interview or whatever, I'm like, I'm going to lean into my value of curiosity.

And I think values also have energy, like there's a certain energy like that is assigned to certain values of ours, right? Like connection to me. And this might be very different and personal to, you know, each person. But for me, like connection, like is a warm energy for me. Whereas curiosity is kind of a little bit more, a little more vibrant or a little more leaning in, so to speak.

And so different energies and different, you know, Values, I think, can be a really great way to make those decisions on how you utilize that time and create that flow in your life. So I love those examples. Love that. Yes,

I'm curious, because we Even though we do have a lot of more control than we usually think we do, there are still elements in our life that we can't control, like the, the systems and the, the things in the greater, you know, the greater world or culture around us or environment around us. So how can somebody work within those systems to get what they need as a working mom, as a, you know, an entrepreneur?

How can they kind of work with the things that they can't control to still function at their best and thrive with all the things that they're juggling?

And that doesn't always work. Um, work with my schedule, right. With how I'm working. And so really what I find, especially in that kind of environment is that, you know, it just takes a lot of compassion, right? It takes so much compassion for myself to just be like, okay, you know, how am I gonna juggle this?

What's gonna happen? You know? And if that means, you know, the kids are gonna watch TV for an hour while I have a call, like, you know, that's okay, right? You know, like, this is something I really can't control. And, or maybe I didn't plan well, also possible, but you know, that it is not a choice that I made.

Right. It's on the schedules with, I mean, and so we, you know, we just have to work with the flow, you know, make it happen in any way that we can. So sometimes that means I'm talking to my husband, like, can you take the morning? I'll take the afternoon, you know, sometimes it means some sort of that kind of juggling, but either way, it means a lot of compassion.

And so I think that is the biggest piece when we're talking about other structures, you know, we're interacting with, like, maybe we'd be left the corporate environment because for whatever reason, it didn't work for us, a working mom, but then we still need to interact with that corporate structure to, let's say, do a workshop.

Or something like that, you know, I think that there are ways that, you know, I'm not going to say again, so be compassionate, but also how can we connect into it in a way that does work for us in a way that does feel safe. Right. And that like, Hey, we're only going there for a day or for an hour, you know, um, and then we get to leave, right.

We get to walk away from that system or how can we address that system in a way that, you know, maybe allows others to speak about what isn't working for them. Right. How do we give a voice to others? I think that could be interesting as well, right? If you're interacting with that kind of structure. So I do think that there's a few different ways, but I think just ensuring, just checking in with yourself throughout, Oh, no matter what it is, checking in with yourself.

What feels good? What do I need? What's going to work for me? And just making sure that that is happening, that you feel safe and comfortable so that you can, you know, not only help yourself, but maybe, you know, help your kids or help other people in that environment.

I once heard that the school calendar is derived on when the bus's schedule works.

And so doing what you can within the system and also maybe taking a step back when, you know, you don't have to change all the things too, right? Like you can't change an entire corporation from the outside. Okay. Or at least probably not like the odds of that are pretty hard and that's not your problem necessarily to solve.

But knowing what role you play in that versus what is somebody else's responsibility, I think is really healthy.

It is possible, but the power is in the doing. Your focus where it is as well as where it isn't. So the clearer that you can be on what is important to you and what success looks like the more you're likely to get there

So thank you for normalizing it. And then also bringing some compassion and some different perspectives or things that people can try to bring more of that balance or flow into their life and then be able to go after both the personal goals and the professional goals that they have. So thank you so much.

Thanks Chloe.

You can find the guide at westhavencoaching.com/steps or follow the link in the show notes. Thanks again for tuning in. Together we are changing the faces and voices of thought leadership. Until next time, keep leading with authenticity and impact.