As moms, we often feel the need to be strong and put up walls to protect ourselves and our families. But what if I told you that vulnerability is actually a strength? By being vulnerable, we can open ourselves up to new experiences and opportunities for growth, both personally and as parents.
In this episode, we're going to explore what it means to be vulnerable as a mom and how it can help us achieve our goals. We'll discuss finding the right balance of vulnerability, being aware of our surroundings, and recognizing when our strength lies in areas we've never experienced before.
I'll also share with you how vulnerability has helped me in my own journey as a mom and how it can empower you to step up and take ownership of your life and parenting journey.
What you'll hear in this episode:
[3:00] Misconceptions of vulnerability
[4:55] Making mistakes to learn
[7:00] Stepping outside of your comfort zone
[9:30] Learning your strengths and weaknesses
[12:45] Finding your purpose through vulnerability
Check out this episode:
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Kelsey Smith 0:00
Your vulnerability is not a weakness in the uncertainty risk and emotional exposure that we will face every day. As humans as caring. As women, it's not optional. Welcome to mama has goals, your weekly reminder that you shouldn't have to sacrifice your dreams to take on the role of mom. I'm Kelsey Smith, mom of two boys, wife, an entrepreneur who's passionate about helping other moms current and aspiring to reimagine mom life. I'm bringing you the resources, support and relatability to debunk that limiting belief that you may have about your ability to achieve your goals while raising a human. We're covering everything from mom guilt, marriage, relationships, careers, finances, mental health, physical health, you name it, your life doesn't have to fully shift once you become a man, you can have it all. And we'll show you how.
Kelsey Smith 1:07
vulnerability, what do you think of like, what does it mean to be vulnerable for you, and that might bring up some really tough memories, experiences, it could be even traumatic to think about what is vulnerability to you. And I saw this quote the other day from Brene. Brown talks about vulnerability, and I want to dissect it a little bit. It says, vulnerability is not weakness in the uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure we face every day are not optional. Our only choice is a question of engagement, our willingness to own and engage with our vulnerability determines the depth of our courage and the clarity of our purpose. I thought this was such a good quote, because it talks about the different layers of vulnerability, it talks about how embracing vulnerability is unnecessary for personal growth and development. And it reminds us that tacy, taking risks, and making mistakes, and facing uncertainty or fear. These are experiences that help us become more courageous and authentic and confident, and allows us to really step into who we are as a purposeful individual. It allows us to own and engage with our vulnerabilities. And that we can tap into this inner strength and resilience when we allow ourselves to find what's behind vulnerability and fear to become the best version of ourselves. And vulnerability is scary, because we're truly being vulnerable, right? You're allowing yourself to be vulnerable to whatever is coming out you from the world from your environment. And but what does that even mean? What does it mean to be vulnerable to? And how do you protect yourself from what you need to with allowing yourself to really step into what is meant for you if you cross that line? Right? And I think a misconception around vulnerability and weakness is just that reframing our mindset of what does it mean to protect yourself? And what does it mean to allow yourself to let down that guard and be vulnerable. And I think this comes from a couple different places, AI and some of you have heard us talk about, you know, the anagram and Tracy O'Malley was on a previous episode, which I'll link down below and for anagram eights, which is what I have been qualified as is that we have a hard time with vulnerability because while we think that we are let down often by people, and I think this is very true to a lot of people, you don't want to be vulnerable to a new friend, or someone in your circle, because you're just going to be let down anyways. Or you don't want to be vulnerable in a vulnerable situation for taking a leap into a new opportunity, a new job, a new home a move, whatever that may be, because what if it doesn't work out? What if you put yourself in a state where you're not protected? And how do you protect yourself? And this comes up with parenting too, right? How do we allow our kids to learn through vulnerability, but keep them safe? And it's really hard balance. It's really hard balance of figuring out where are you the helicopter parent? And where are you not? Where are you protecting yourself and where are you not? And how do you allow yourself and your children and the people that you lead and love to learn by doing? It's a really hard balance. How do you unlock vulnerability when it's meant to happen? And how do you keep up your guard when you need to? And so think about that for yourself. Where are you being vulnerable, and it's working out for you? Where are you not being vulnerable? Because you're fearful of what's on the other side. And where are you protecting yourself and you should you should protect yourself. And sometimes I think we have to make some mistakes to learn. And that doesn't mean you know, let your kids jump off of a giant tower and just be like, Oops, well, you had to learn that one, there's a balance, right? But even whether it's in your job, in friendships, in business in life, you may find yourself in a situation where you've been vulnerable. And now you've learned something from it. And maybe it's a tough learning, I'm actually in a similar situation right now. And I've learned a lot from the situation. Now, even when I thought I was protecting myself, there was some room for vulnerability. But I will tell you, it's taught me things I've learned, it's had a positive impact in the person that I'm going to be after this. And it's given me insight, and I've stepped through what maybe would have been a fearful situation, that now I've handled it, I've been able to learn and grow and you think back to anything else, maybe it's even just going back to when kids take their first steps. That's got to be scary, but exciting, right? I don't remember it. I don't think you do, either. But when you take those very first steps, I can imagine that that little brain is going through, I don't know what I'm doing here. This is scary. But I'm excited. And maybe you can think back to something in your life more recently, that that's happened that you've been like, I have these nervous butterflies, I'm being vulnerable, I'm nervous, is this friendship going to work out? Is this job going to work out? Is this business going to work out? Maybe this move, maybe this conversation, maybe this way, I'm approaching parenting. But if I take this step, it's going to change who I am, and maybe who that person is that you're engaging with as well. Because being vulnerable, can teach you where you are strong, and where you need to be more strong. If you're only living in your bunker, and you're just like, I'm safe here, I know this, then you're never going to know your strengths and opportunities, you're never going to be able to break out. And as Brene says, the emotional exposure we face every day is not optional. But our choice is a question of engagement. So there are things that are happening every day, that give us this level of vulnerability that we can't avoid. But if we allow ourselves to think about who we are how we engage, that determines the depth of our courage and the clarity of our purpose, as Bernie said, when you step out of your bunker, when you take that step in that action, it allows you to identify the strengths that you may have never known. And the opportunities you may have never known. And your strength may not be there, you may fall, you may get hurt, you may have an opportunity to re strengthen yourself in another way. But you would have never known where you need to strengthen if you hadn't left that bunker. If you hadn't found that opportunity to open up and say, I'm vulnerable. Here, I'm raising my hand, this is vulnerable. For me, I'm fearful, I'm scared, I need to know how to protect myself, I need to learn by doing, I need to go through these steps to be able to find how I improve how I step into that inner strength and that resilience to become the best version of myself. Because when you step into this curiosity and the testing and the allowing yourself to fail, you build your story. And even when it's hard, even when it doesn't feel good, even when things that happen that are so tough and so difficult, and you are truly vulnerable to life. It allows you to build that resilience that allows you to build on top of that journey and those stories. So how do you know when to be safe? How do you know when to not be vulnerable? I think that's the question that we all will always live in is you don't know. But if you can feel a little uncomfortable, and you can question is the opportunity on the other side, potentially greater than where I'm at now? Then you allow yourself to take those uncomfortable steps and those uncomfortable action movements to be able to question is the grass greener on the other side of this vulnerability, it doesn't mean truly the grass is greener on the other side of leaving your life behind. But if you allow yourself to become a little vulnerable, what can you learn about yourself in the process? And where do you need to strengthen and where are you already strong? Because you may step into this fear and this vulnerability and you may be like, Wow, I'm so strong in this place in this energy of me. This is where I'm so strong. This is where I excel. And then you may also see all there's room for opportunity here.
Kelsey Smith 9:44
I'm not great here. I am very vulnerable in this place. So I have the opportunity to grow and achieve and find new areas of myself. But if you don't allow yourself to test that how would you know how Do you know if your strength is in this place that you've never experienced? How would you know if there's an opportunity for you to be able to allow others to be less vulnerable by you leading, maybe it's your family, maybe it's your home, where's the opportunity for you to really strengthen your strengths and find new ones. In just if you go out and you're vulnerable, and you kind of fall down, and you get hit, and you go, wow, I was not protected for that I was not ready for the level of vulnerability that was going to be shown of me in that situation. Now, you know, for next time, you know, who to seek, you know what to seek out for, you know, to be able to say, I need support in this way, I think taking it back to like hunter gatherers, or sitting down, like, if a new predator came along, a new environmental struggle, a new weathering a new something that we had to build a new HUD for, or find a new protection for anything like that. You wouldn't know until you're hit with that, it would be hard to prepare for something that you have never experienced. But if you didn't allow yourself to experience the vulnerability and step into it, then you wouldn't know how to prepare for next time and support someone else. And I think that we can fall into this in our life because we are thrown so many things were thrown so many challenges were thrown so many things in society, there's a new something on the news every day, allowing yourself to think back to where are you vulnerable, that you have control over? And how can you take action each day for those vulnerabilities that you maybe don't think you have control over? Because then that becomes a fear. And if you don't step into the fear with action, then you just live in the fear. Right? So where can you allow yourself to feel uncomfortable, lean into fear a little bit, but with action and result. Because if you just sit in the vulnerability, if you just sit in the fear, then that doesn't allow you to find new opportunities to really strengthen those inner parts of you, to allow yourself to find where you are courageous, where you are authentic, where you are seeking for purpose and change in resilience. How can you own this vulnerability to take action, I'm going to repeat that quote from Brene. Brown just one more time. Vulnerability is not weakness. It's the uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure that we face every day that are not optional. Our only choice is a question of engagement. Our willingness to own and engage with our vulnerability determines the depth of our courage, and the clarity of our purpose. Your vulnerability is not a weakness in the uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure that we will face every day. As humans, as parents, as women. It's not optional. But our only choice is the question of engagement. How are you going to step up? What are you going to do about it? And what are you willing to own? What are you willing to engage with? And how are you willing to move through that vulnerability to determine the depth of your courage, and the clarity of your purpose? What's your purpose can be, Mom, your purpose can be you. Your purpose can be different each day, each week, each situation of that vulnerability. But are you going to let yourself question where you're safe right now. But you need to step into a little more vulnerability. And where are you safe? And you can still challenge yourself. Where can you step into that place where you say, I know, I know, I'm safe enough. But I'm still going to be a little challenged, I'm going to be a little vulnerable. I'm going to be a little fearful. But I know at the end of the day, I'm safe enough to be able to see what is next for me through this vulnerability. Think about that. This week. Think about this today. Where are you already super vulnerable, that you need to find support and protection for and create for yourself? And where are you not vulnerable enough? Sending you so much love. Can't wait to hear what is on the other side of that vulnerability and the engagement for you. There's so much more where this came from. Take the next step and download the mama high schools app or visit our web platform. real authentic, full supportive community is available at your fingertips and we can't wait to create space for you, Mama.