Artwork for podcast The Again Podcast for Christian Moms: Encouragement In the Repetition of Biblical Parenting
#107. Why We Need to Remember "Train Up a Child In The Way He Should Go" Is a Proverb and Not a Promise with Biblical Counselors Krista and Bryan Ryndak
Episode 109 • 5th February 2026 • The Again Podcast for Christian Moms: Encouragement In the Repetition of Biblical Parenting • Entrusted Ministries: Christian Parenting Resources
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It's a verse every Christian parenting study points to... but is it a promise? We desperately want to believe we have that level of control, but how do we reconcile it with our experience that many godly families have prodigal children? This episode draws a clear distinction between our role and God's role, what surrender looks like, what faithfulness looks like, and how we know when we're being controlled by our hopes for our kids to follow Christ. Krista and Bryan discuss how to parent in this season, how it affects our marriages, and how we walk with others experiencing this trial. Don't miss the other episodes with Krista and Bryan's practical, biblical wisdom:

Biblical Manhood and Biblical Womanhood Part 1: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-again-podcast-on-biblical-motherhood/id1700555502?i=1000728423853

Biblical Manhood and Biblical Womanhood Part 2: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-again-podcast-on-biblical-motherhood/id1700555502?i=1000729683051

Spiritual Leadership For Real Part 1: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-again-podcast-on-biblical-motherhood/id1700555502?i=1000733121271

Spiritual Leadership and Submission Part 2: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-again-podcast-on-biblical-motherhood/id1700555502?i=1000734193131

Looking for more wisdom on parenting in this season? Entrusted with a Child's Heart delves deeply into this topic. www.entrustedministries.com/studies

Are you looking for daily investments in biblical thinking? The Dwelling Place Bible Plan for Busy Moms is just for that and we addressed prodigals in this episode: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dwelling-place-bible-plan-for-busy-moms/id1863449227?i=1000743406637

Scripture Referenced:

Proverbs 22:6

Deuteronomy 6:6-7

Romans 12:12

Transcripts

Speaker:

They're the joyful agains our children.

2

:

Shout on the swings, the exhausting

agains of cooking and laundry and

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:

the difficult agains of discipline.

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So much of what we do

as mothers is on repeat.

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So what if we woke up with clarity,

knowing which agains we were called to.

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And went to bed believing we are

faithful in what matters most.

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We believe God's word is

the key to untangle from the

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confusion and overwhelm we feel.

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Let's look up together to embrace a

motherhood full of freedom and joy.

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Welcome to the Again podcast.

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I'm Stephanie Hickox, and this is

brought to you by Entrusted Ministries.

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Today I pray that you're

encouraged and equipped by this

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conversation I had with my friend

Krista Rin and her husband Brian.

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They are the incredible biblical

counselors at, so that we counseling.

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The first time I met Krista, she

was equipping parents to think about

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anxiety biblically I was blown

away by the way that she applied

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the word in such a tangible manner.

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And because I know her husband is deeply

gifted at guiding men to follow the

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Lord holistically and wholeheartedly, I

gave them some of my hardest questions

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i'm gonna link the other episodes that

included part of our conversation.

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And if you've been listening to the

Dwelling Place you heard me talk about

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in the second episode that one of the.

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The biggest lies that Christian

parents believe is that if we just

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put our kids in the right environment

and we do all the things that

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surely they're going to follow.

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The Lord

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Krista and Brian address this head on.

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What's biblical of that and

what's us grasping for control?

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They help us truly understand

what faithfulness looks like

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and what surrender looks like.

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Whether you have young kids and need

to be guided in the truth of God's

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word so, that your hope is not set in

the wrong things, or whether you have

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older children and need to be reminded

about the Lord's role and your role.

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This episode is a can't miss one, and if

you want more biblical teaching on this

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lesson, 13 of Entrusted with a child's

heart talks all about how a godly parent

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never ever gives up on their child.

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I'll link that study in the show notes.

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Without further ado, here is

an enlightening conversation

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about prodigal children,

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Stephanie: I wanna transition

now to a topic that we have to

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be so careful in the church about

the topic of prodigal children.

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We talk about train up a child

and the way he should go.

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And , when he is old, he

will not depart from it.

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And we know it's a proverb.

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And yet I think deep down in Christian

parents' hearts, there is this hope.

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If I just do the things,

it's gonna go well.

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But we know that's not always the case.

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How do we adapt our thinking as parents?

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You have so much wisdom on this

because you counsel so many parents

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that are experiencing that absolute

heartbreak of having a prodigal child.

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Can you elaborate on this tension of yes,

you do train them up, you are diligent

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with that, but there's also a reality

that every child has their own will and

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choices and we can't control hearts.

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Krista/Bryan: Yeah,

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it's a really good question.

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I think you, you alluded

to a lot of us were

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Stephanie: taught

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that right?

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Yeah.

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Chain of

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Krista/Bryan: child on he should go.

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And when

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he is old, he will

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not

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Stephanie: depart from

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Krista/Bryan: it.

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And so we

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have

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this

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Stephanie: expectation.

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Krista/Bryan: and we're

almost disillusioned

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into thinking

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if

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I do

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this,

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Stephanie: it

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will

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Krista/Bryan: this result.

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If I train

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up

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Stephanie: child

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Krista/Bryan: godliness,

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then even if they rebel a little

bit in college, or even if they

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have some little moments in high

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school

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they're

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a

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believer,

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right?

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And so

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I, I

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think it is good that

we remember we should

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Stephanie: train

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our

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Krista/Bryan: I like Deuteronomy six as an

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Stephanie: example

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of

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that.

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commandments

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Krista/Bryan: I give you today are to be

on and press them on your children and

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talk about them when you sit at home,

when you walk around along the road

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Stephanie: when you

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Krista/Bryan: down

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and

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Stephanie: when you

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up.

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This sticky

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Krista/Bryan: part

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of that

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verse though is the, he will not depart

from it because we certainly see kids.

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Do depart from it.

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Right?

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And there can be so

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Stephanie: much

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Krista/Bryan: grief

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In that, for parents

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Stephanie: of

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those

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kids.

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Krista/Bryan: I

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Stephanie: think

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it's

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really

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Krista/Bryan: helpful

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if

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we

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try

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to think

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of our kids

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Stephanie: the

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way

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that

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Krista/Bryan: God

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thinks

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Stephanie: of us,

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Krista/Bryan: right?

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He seeks to show us

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Stephanie: who

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he

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is

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Krista/Bryan: to

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lead

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Stephanie: us

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to

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His

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Krista/Bryan: is full

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of

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admonitions

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for us

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on

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we live

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Stephanie: a

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more

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Krista/Bryan: fruit

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bearing

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:

life.

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But

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Stephanie: what

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he

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Krista/Bryan: do?

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He gives us a choice for what

we're gonna do with that.

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Stephanie: Information

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Krista/Bryan: and really love doesn't

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Stephanie: exist

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Krista/Bryan: without choice.

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If we don't

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have

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a choice,

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it's just control,

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right?

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And so

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sometimes

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we

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wish

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:

we

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could control

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:

choices.

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We see beyond what

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Stephanie: they

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see,

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Krista/Bryan: got a little

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bit

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of a bigger worldview.

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We've lived more years on the earth.

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Stephanie: We

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cause

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Krista/Bryan: effect.

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We look at our own lives or

people around us and oh, they

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made this decision and it ended

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Stephanie: in

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this

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way.

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So

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we

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see

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Krista/Bryan: course

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we want

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what's best

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Stephanie: for

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our

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kids,

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Krista/Bryan: but

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we need

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to remember

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God

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has

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the eternal view.

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He can see even beyond what

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Stephanie: we

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Krista/Bryan: see,

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He sees their heart, the

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hidden places inside

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of

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Stephanie: them

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Krista/Bryan: that we can't see.

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He

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future

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beyond what

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:

we

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Stephanie: could

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possibly

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Krista/Bryan: know.

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He

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knows

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Stephanie: what

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Krista/Bryan: best

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for them,

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:

even

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:

if

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Stephanie: what

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he

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Krista/Bryan: thinks

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:

is

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:

best

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Stephanie: is

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:

wrestle

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:

in some

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Krista/Bryan: dark places

or they experience pain of

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Stephanie: consequences,

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:

right?

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So for us to love them, well,

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Krista/Bryan: we have to

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be obedient

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Stephanie: to that first part

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Krista/Bryan: of the passage,

training them But we actually have

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to then surrender control of what

they're gonna do with that information.

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What choices are they going to make

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Stephanie: So often we're

trying to just make sure that

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they have this clean scorecard.

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Exactly.

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Please, Lord, just don't let them do this.

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not in

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your lane

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to

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divide that.

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whatever it takes.

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Right.

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So what can we do as the church

to help parents not be so

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prescriptive in parenting and yet

encourage them to be faithful and

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Krista/Bryan: diligent.

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It's really good.

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think

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goes

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back

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Stephanie: to

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Krista/Bryan: this

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same

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idea that the church

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is they

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:

wanna

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motivate

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:

us,

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:

right?

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To

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godly

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Stephanie: life.

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:

They

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:

want

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Krista/Bryan: to keep

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:

Stephanie: keep

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:

showing

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:

up

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:

Krista/Bryan: and

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:

Stephanie: keep

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:

kind doing the

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:

things.

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:

so

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Krista/Bryan: of

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that,

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Stephanie: there's really

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:

a

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Krista/Bryan: focus

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:

on good

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:

outcomes,

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Stephanie: right?

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Mm-hmm.

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If you do

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this,

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this

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is

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what's

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Krista/Bryan: to

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:

you

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Stephanie: live this

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Krista/Bryan: godly

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life,

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:

like

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Stephanie: these

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the

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blessings.

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Krista/Bryan: is

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Stephanie: true

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to

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a

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degree.

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Wisdom

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is

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Krista/Bryan: still

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wise,

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Stephanie: folly

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is

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:

still

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foolish.

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Like living

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:

a wise life

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will produce

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:

better

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Krista/Bryan: than,

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overtly

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Stephanie: folly.

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Krista/Bryan: But

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we have to

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remember and maybe this

is where the church comes

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into play with helping us do

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that, a specific outcome

is not promised to

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Stephanie: us,

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Krista/Bryan: right?

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And

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churches

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can get

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caught

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:

in that.

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Stephanie: I

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wanna

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Krista/Bryan: feel good

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:

keeps

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parents motivated

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and

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it makes

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them wanna,

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Stephanie: Do the things.

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And it,

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Krista/Bryan: a really

great goal, but it's

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too extreme if it's painting this

picture that we should be motivated

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Stephanie: by our outcome.

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I think

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Krista/Bryan: a emphasis is

our own obedience to God.

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We are doing it as part of that

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Stephanie: vertical My

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Krista/Bryan: my children

in godliness not so

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Stephanie: that I

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Krista/Bryan: can

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guarantee for myself some result that

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Stephanie: I

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actually

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can't

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Krista/Bryan: guarantee.

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My goal in training

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my children in godliness is

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Stephanie: my

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Krista/Bryan: faithfulness

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to God.

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It

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Stephanie: is

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:

my

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obedience

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:

to

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Krista/Bryan: Right.

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It's

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Stephanie: actually

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about

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Krista/Bryan: Of course,

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we're

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gonna hope for and pray for that

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Stephanie: result.

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But

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Krista/Bryan: just talking

about the church, I think maybe

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a little realism, a little

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:

Stephanie: bit

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:

of

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:

being

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Krista/Bryan: realistic and

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:

also

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being able to find ways perhaps

to minister to those people who.

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Do

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prodigal children.

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It is not

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working

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out

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that way.

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Sometimes there's a little sense

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of

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:

Stephanie: oh,

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Krista/Bryan: what's wrong with

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Stephanie: you?

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If

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:

Yeah.

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Your

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children

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are

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not all

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Krista/Bryan: and

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:

tidy in a

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Stephanie: row

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:

and obedient,

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or

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:

you

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have

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Krista/Bryan: child that's,

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Stephanie: doing

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they're

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Krista/Bryan: living

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:

Stephanie: a

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godly lifestyle.

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Krista/Bryan: There's this tendency within

church to see that as a reflection of the

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parent.

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And

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Stephanie: it

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may not Right.

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Krista/Bryan: we have to

keep that in mind as well.

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Yeah.

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I guess related to the idea,

what can the church do?

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I think maybe what can the church

do, but also what can parents do?

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I, I maybe come at

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Stephanie: the

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Krista/Bryan: part with

another perspective.

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Okay.

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Related to the faith journey.

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So , you can have a prodigal

kid that's just making stupid,

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crazy, disastrous decisions.

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But

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all kids will go through

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a

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journey.

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Right.

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And some of thems will become

prodigals, some of , them won't.

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Right.

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So how might we, the church, but we,

the family influence that journey?

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So maybe in answering that

I'll give some thoughts on

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that.

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That's good.

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In our generation, we were taught

you just have faith, right?

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Yeah.

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You don't really question too deeply

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anything.

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Right.

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And if you do, there might

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Stephanie: be an beyond that,

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Krista/Bryan: it went

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so far

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as to let's not.

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Have those conversations with our kids

because we don't want them to actually

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consider the negatives, the alternatives.

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They might

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Stephanie: latch onto that

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Krista/Bryan: and move away from the

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faith.

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Right.

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Right.

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So we

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didn't really grow up with

this concept of apologetics.

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Yeah.

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Or even deep theology really.

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It was real faith idea.

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Idea.

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God

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Stephanie: said

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it.

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I

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Krista/Bryan: it.

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That

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it.

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:

Yeah.

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:

Yeah.

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Exemplifies that generation.

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Stephanie: I

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Krista/Bryan: song

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:

Stephanie: very

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Yeah.

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Krista/Bryan: Yeah.

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Right.

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But

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the problem is

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are

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:

young people

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:

are designed apparently to think,

to, to question, to think everything.

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And I don't know where

that actually probably

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:

Stephanie: starts.

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:

of the

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:

toddlers?

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:

Krista/Bryan: Right.

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:

Why?

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:

why?

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:

I think it's always been there.

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:

Yeah.

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:

Right.

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So if we can't engage well while

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they're at

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Stephanie: home,

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Krista/Bryan: they're going to seek

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out the whys somewhere else.

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Right.

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So

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I think our opportunity

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is really about, how do we

engage those conversations?

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How do we own the conversation, as

you said earlier before they leave

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for college?

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Why do we see, well, kids leave

519

:

Stephanie: the church

520

:

Krista/Bryan: college age,

521

:

Stephanie: right?

522

:

why?

523

:

Krista/Bryan: Well, they're

discovering their faith

524

:

Stephanie: journey.

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:

And

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:

Krista/Bryan: without guidance, they're

susceptible to, every whim and false

527

:

doctrine and, all that stuff out there.

528

:

And they find something that maybe feels

good without the guidance of parents.

529

:

So I think that opportunity is really

530

:

Stephanie: that

531

:

Krista/Bryan: we should church-wise

and parents wise, to answer the

532

:

question, we should really spend a

lot of time teaching apologetics.

533

:

Yeah.

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:

To

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:

kids,

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:

and to ourselves

537

:

first.

538

:

Honestly, what would it look like

if you're in a car ride with your

539

:

kid, your son or your daughter?

540

:

And you guys

541

:

have been

542

:

practicing this and you look

over and you say, Jesus never

543

:

said he was God in the Bible.

544

:

Right.

545

:

And then, so what do you say?

546

:

Stephanie: What

547

:

does the kid say?

548

:

Well,

549

:

Krista/Bryan: okay,

550

:

but that's not really a good

551

:

answer.

552

:

Eventually they're gonna go, well, did he?

553

:

Or somebody's gonna say that, or Ask

that of them, and they're gonna go,

554

:

Stephanie: I don't

555

:

Krista/Bryan: answer

556

:

that.

557

:

Why don't we

558

:

work on formulating that

answer for themselves

559

:

Stephanie: and with our guidance so

560

:

Krista/Bryan: we can

entertain all those questions.

561

:

Yeah.

562

:

How do atheists become Christians

because they have investigated,

563

:

they've entertained all the

564

:

possibilities.

565

:

God's word stands on its own.

566

:

It's not depending on us

shielding our kids from the

567

:

Stephanie: false

568

:

Krista/Bryan: things of the world.

569

:

Right.

570

:

Yeah.

571

:

So I guess the opportunity is engage in

those kinds of conversations and dads

572

:

take the initiative, learn it yourself,

and I'm speaking to myself here.

573

:

Learn it, get good at it, bring it

to your kids, practice with them.

574

:

Make it a game.

575

:

I don't know, there's all kinds of

things, but they're gonna find their

576

:

own faith journey, which can lead

to that feeling of a prodigal child.

577

:

Or it can lead to somebody who's man, I'm

578

:

sold

579

:

Stephanie: out

580

:

for

581

:

Krista/Bryan: Christ.

582

:

It'd be great

583

:

to be able to shape that in

one direction or another.

584

:

That's really good.

585

:

I have one maybe final

piggyback off of that.

586

:

It's a little bit of a soap box.

587

:

We really have a heart

in this area for college

588

:

ministry and

589

:

feel

590

:

churches

591

:

are

592

:

probably

593

:

not providing

594

:

enough kind of resources within

595

:

Stephanie: college

596

:

ministry

597

:

Krista/Bryan: because

598

:

that

599

:

is

600

:

such a hinge pin

601

:

time.

602

:

Stephanie: We see sociologically,

603

:

Krista/Bryan: like it's

not the only time, right?

604

:

That someone is gonna wrestle with their

faith or make a faith decision, but it's

605

:

a huge time that they are wrestling.

606

:

To Brian's point

607

:

Stephanie: with

608

:

Krista/Bryan: questions,

609

:

because they're

610

:

thrust

611

:

into

612

:

in a way

613

:

that they

614

:

never

615

:

have

616

:

Stephanie: been

617

:

Krista/Bryan: They're

618

:

thrust into

619

:

Stephanie: decision

620

:

Krista/Bryan: making

621

:

processes

622

:

Stephanie: that they've never

623

:

had

624

:

to

625

:

Krista/Bryan: engage with

626

:

before.

627

:

Right?

628

:

Mom

629

:

or dad

630

:

has guided

631

:

that

632

:

for them.

633

:

And

634

:

so

635

:

some of them are spiraling and

636

:

Stephanie: spinning because

637

:

Krista/Bryan: there are no answers.

638

:

And college Ministries are often

a place where they're able to

639

:

wrestle with the questions that

they didn't wrestle with at home.

640

:

So

641

:

Stephanie: yes,

642

:

to

643

:

your

644

:

point,

645

:

wrestling with

646

:

before

647

:

that would be the

648

:

ideal.

649

:

Krista/Bryan: but even

650

:

to have this

651

:

awareness that college students are

really deep into those apologetics

652

:

type conversations, because that's

what's happening in the classroom,

653

:

it's

654

:

what's

655

:

happening

656

:

on

657

:

Stephanie: social media, all

658

:

Krista/Bryan: the spaces

that they're in is where

659

:

faith

660

:

Stephanie: is

661

:

really

662

:

Krista/Bryan: being,

663

:

not

664

:

just questioned but challenged to

really high degrees and they're

665

:

finding themselves not fit

666

:

Stephanie: for battle.

667

:

Krista/Bryan: I

668

:

hear repeatedly from college age young

men, where can I find a good bible study?

669

:

Where can I find a deep Bible study?

670

:

Where

671

:

can

672

:

I go

673

:

to learn theology?

674

:

So that's an opportunity for churches.

675

:

And to

676

:

Stephanie: that

677

:

point,

678

:

Krista/Bryan: right.

679

:

Our teenagers and college students

that we see here in this office

680

:

are often saying, my church does

681

:

Stephanie: not

682

:

provide Wow.

683

:

Krista/Bryan: is

684

:

shallow.

685

:

The

686

:

Stephanie: my

687

:

youth group is

688

:

Krista/Bryan: The teaching in

my college group, or my church

689

:

Stephanie: is

690

:

shallow.

691

:

Krista/Bryan: They're coming lamenting

692

:

about the church.

693

:

Mm-hmm.

694

:

And feeling

695

:

like

696

:

Stephanie: they're

697

:

ill-equipped.

698

:

And

699

:

Krista/Bryan: they don't

700

:

need

701

:

Stephanie: to be to learn

702

:

apologetics.

703

:

Right.

704

:

Of

705

:

course

706

:

Krista/Bryan: happy

707

:

to do

708

:

Stephanie: that

709

:

with

710

:

Krista/Bryan: them,

711

:

but

712

:

Stephanie: it breaks our hearts

713

:

Krista/Bryan: that

714

:

actually, sometimes

715

:

they're coming in our

716

:

Stephanie: door

717

:

that

718

:

reason.

719

:

Krista/Bryan: Yeah.

720

:

Something

721

:

Stephanie: that

722

:

really

723

:

Krista/Bryan: right resource

724

:

Stephanie: should church.

725

:

Right.

726

:

And so often we're offering

the same 10 bible stories.

727

:

A hundred times start your childhood,

promising that if you just do

728

:

the right thing, it's all gonna

729

:

go well with you.

730

:

That's right.

731

:

And we tie everything up with this

pretty little bow and then they get

732

:

off in the real world and they're not

equipped and they're disillusioned.

733

:

Absolutely.

734

:

So what hope and guidance would you offer

the parent who is experiencing a child

735

:

who isn't just working out their faith

journey, but really is in this prodigal

736

:

camp?

737

:

Krista/Bryan: Great

738

:

question.

739

:

First I would remind you that there were

740

:

Stephanie: many

741

:

biblical figures

742

:

in scripture

743

:

Krista/Bryan: who

744

:

had

745

:

children.

746

:

Foolish were to God

747

:

despite

748

:

their

749

:

faithfulness.

750

:

right?

751

:

And

752

:

so

753

:

yeah, there might

754

:

be a role

755

:

our

756

:

churches have played like

757

:

we've

758

:

Stephanie: talked

759

:

Krista/Bryan: but

760

:

I

761

:

Stephanie: think

762

:

Krista/Bryan: sometimes people are

763

:

having

764

:

false hope because we want to have.

765

:

Hope.

766

:

Right?

767

:

Stephanie: We,

768

:

Krista/Bryan: want

769

:

to have

770

:

hope

771

:

have

772

:

a good

773

:

Stephanie: motivator and

774

:

Krista/Bryan: have

775

:

Stephanie: a sinful

776

:

motivator,

777

:

Krista/Bryan: right?

778

:

So

779

:

Stephanie: on

780

:

the

781

:

one

782

:

hand,

783

:

Krista/Bryan: my

784

:

hope

785

:

might

786

:

really

787

:

be in the Lord,

788

:

it

789

:

might

790

:

really be

791

:

Stephanie: in the

792

:

Krista/Bryan: goodness of

793

:

God.

794

:

And

795

:

I've

796

:

hoped,

797

:

because

798

:

consider

799

:

that

800

:

there

801

:

Stephanie: could

802

:

Krista/Bryan: be

803

:

a

804

:

different

805

:

outcome,

806

:

Stephanie: Mm-hmm.

807

:

I

808

:

Krista/Bryan: my

809

:

child.

810

:

I want what is

811

:

want them to live that life of wisdom.

812

:

That's a really

813

:

natural

814

:

desire.

815

:

It's really normal

816

:

that

817

:

you would want your

818

:

family to all be with you in heaven.

819

:

Stephanie: And

820

:

Krista/Bryan: to entertain

821

:

the

822

:

idea.

823

:

What

824

:

if my child chose

825

:

something different than

826

:

Stephanie: that?

827

:

Krista/Bryan: Right?

828

:

And

829

:

so

830

:

it

831

:

might have

832

:

been

833

:

Stephanie: false

834

:

Krista/Bryan: hope.

835

:

you didn't know that at

836

:

the

837

:

time.

838

:

Right?

839

:

genuinely seeking

840

:

Stephanie: to hope

841

:

in the Lord.

842

:

Krista/Bryan: On the

843

:

other

844

:

hand though,

845

:

sometimes parents are really blinded

846

:

by pride.

847

:

I just want

848

:

what I want.

849

:

I'm not considering a different outcome

850

:

because I

851

:

Stephanie: think

852

:

Krista/Bryan: God owes

853

:

me.

854

:

did

855

:

what

856

:

I

857

:

was

858

:

told

859

:

to

860

:

do.

861

:

I

862

:

was faithful.

863

:

So

864

:

like, where's my

865

:

reward?

866

:

child?

867

:

And

868

:

if

869

:

we're really

870

:

honest in some dark places

871

:

Stephanie: of

872

:

our

873

:

Krista/Bryan: having

children who follow the Lord

874

:

becomes a

875

:

Stephanie: badge

876

:

Krista/Bryan: of

877

:

honor for me.

878

:

Look what a good

879

:

Stephanie: Christian

880

:

Krista/Bryan: am, all my

881

:

children are

882

:

Stephanie: the Lord.

883

:

Krista/Bryan: did

884

:

Stephanie: right.

885

:

It

886

:

Krista/Bryan: a

887

:

Stephanie: about

888

:

Krista/Bryan: So

889

:

I would

890

:

wanna encourage parents

891

:

to

892

:

start

893

:

Stephanie: to

894

:

Krista/Bryan: about it.

895

:

If your child's

896

:

on

897

:

a

898

:

prodigal journey,

899

:

think about your parenting

900

:

Stephanie: in a

901

:

Krista/Bryan: way.

902

:

Even

903

:

though they

904

:

might

905

:

Stephanie: of

906

:

Krista/Bryan: by now,

907

:

Or maybe they're a teenager.

908

:

We see this sometimes

happening in teenage years.

909

:

But start

910

:

where

911

:

were you parenting?

912

:

Simply because

913

:

you

914

:

hoped

915

:

Stephanie: for a

916

:

Krista/Bryan: certain outcome.

917

:

if would describe where your heart

is, be honest with God about that.

918

:

Give

919

:

him

920

:

the

921

:

Stephanie: prayers

922

:

of

923

:

Krista/Bryan: And

924

:

if you haven't

925

:

actually

926

:

surrendered control, if

927

:

you've him.

928

:

do

929

:

that.

930

:

right?

931

:

uh, you

932

:

can

933

:

repent,

934

:

Stephanie: you can

935

:

Krista/Bryan: confess,

936

:

you

937

:

have this

938

:

time

939

:

now to

940

:

say,

941

:

Stephanie: maybe

942

:

Krista/Bryan: with my

943

:

Stephanie: child's

944

:

before,

945

:

but

946

:

Krista/Bryan: trust

947

:

you

948

:

with

949

:

my

950

:

Stephanie: child's

951

:

Krista/Bryan: life

952

:

now.

953

:

Right?

954

:

I wanna release the

955

:

Stephanie: of control.

956

:

Krista/Bryan: hand,

957

:

be honest

958

:

about the places where actually

959

:

you, maybe you did

960

:

it

961

:

poorly, okay?

962

:

If

963

:

Stephanie: you did

964

:

Krista/Bryan: you

965

:

can rest in that.

966

:

Stephanie: can say okay, parented

967

:

faithfully.

968

:

Krista/Bryan: My

969

:

child's choices

970

:

Stephanie: are

971

:

their choices.

972

:

Krista/Bryan: god called

973

:

me

974

:

Stephanie: to do.

975

:

Krista/Bryan: Unfortunately,

976

:

they've

977

:

chosen that and

978

:

that

979

:

helps

980

:

me

981

:

Stephanie: surrender that,

982

:

right?

983

:

Krista/Bryan: If

984

:

I

985

:

know

986

:

I did

987

:

it

988

:

well,

989

:

Stephanie: but

990

:

Krista/Bryan: if I see

991

:

places

992

:

Stephanie: where

993

:

Krista/Bryan: I

994

:

could have

995

:

done

996

:

Stephanie: it differently?

997

:

Krista/Bryan: I

998

:

think

999

:

that's

:

00:16:40,634 --> 00:16:40,724

where

:

00:16:40,724 --> 00:16:40,964

parents

:

00:16:40,964 --> 00:16:42,284

start to really beat themselves

:

00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:42,914

start

:

00:16:42,914 --> 00:16:43,004

to

:

00:16:43,004 --> 00:16:43,244

have

:

00:16:43,244 --> 00:16:43,724

regret.

:

00:16:43,724 --> 00:16:43,934

My

:

00:16:43,934 --> 00:16:44,234

child

:

00:16:44,234 --> 00:16:44,354

is

:

00:16:44,354 --> 00:16:45,554

a and it

:

00:16:45,554 --> 00:16:47,534

must be because I didn't do this or

:

00:16:47,534 --> 00:16:48,074

that, or I

:

00:16:50,139 --> 00:16:50,414

to them

:

00:16:50,414 --> 00:16:50,744

about

:

00:16:50,744 --> 00:16:50,984

this.

:

00:16:50,984 --> 00:16:51,194

right?

:

00:16:52,479 --> 00:16:53,019

Stephanie: these real

:

00:16:53,924 --> 00:16:54,314

Krista/Bryan: about

:

00:16:54,314 --> 00:16:56,054

their own parenting when that happens.

:

00:16:56,504 --> 00:16:56,714

So

:

00:16:57,129 --> 00:16:57,369

Stephanie: get

:

00:16:57,644 --> 00:16:58,874

Krista/Bryan: about well.

:

00:16:58,934 --> 00:16:59,139

And

:

00:16:59,139 --> 00:16:59,379

say,

:

00:16:59,379 --> 00:16:59,679

where

:

00:16:59,704 --> 00:16:59,829

is

:

00:16:59,829 --> 00:17:00,064

that

:

00:17:00,069 --> 00:17:00,579

shame

:

00:17:00,674 --> 00:17:03,669

you, you did you were doing the best

that you could with the resources that

:

00:17:03,708 --> 00:17:04,174

Stephanie: you have,

:

00:17:04,174 --> 00:17:04,324

with

:

00:17:04,444 --> 00:17:04,743

things

:

00:17:04,749 --> 00:17:04,839

Krista/Bryan: that

:

00:17:04,839 --> 00:17:05,199

you did

:

00:17:05,199 --> 00:17:05,319

or

:

00:17:05,344 --> 00:17:06,784

Stephanie: did not so

:

00:17:06,784 --> 00:17:07,419

Krista/Bryan: again.

:

00:17:08,029 --> 00:17:08,479

It is not

:

00:17:08,479 --> 00:17:08,749

really

:

00:17:08,794 --> 00:17:08,884

Stephanie: in

:

00:17:08,884 --> 00:17:09,034

my

:

00:17:09,034 --> 00:17:09,424

lane.

:

00:17:09,439 --> 00:17:09,618

Krista/Bryan: I can

:

00:17:09,618 --> 00:17:09,769

really

:

00:17:09,769 --> 00:17:10,009

trust

:

00:17:10,023 --> 00:17:10,084

Stephanie: the

:

00:17:10,084 --> 00:17:10,339

Lord

:

00:17:11,209 --> 00:17:13,608

Krista/Bryan: versus

where did I kind of mess

:

00:17:13,608 --> 00:17:13,789

up?

:

00:17:13,789 --> 00:17:13,878

And

:

00:17:13,878 --> 00:17:14,239

maybe

:

00:17:14,239 --> 00:17:14,779

I need

:

00:17:14,794 --> 00:17:16,354

Stephanie: to and possibly

:

00:17:16,638 --> 00:17:16,939

Krista/Bryan: make

:

00:17:16,983 --> 00:17:17,554

Stephanie: amends.

:

00:17:17,554 --> 00:17:17,959

Krista/Bryan: I have

:

00:17:17,959 --> 00:17:18,439

seen

:

00:17:20,388 --> 00:17:20,569

they're

:

00:17:20,569 --> 00:17:21,019

wrestling

:

00:17:21,019 --> 00:17:21,589

and they're having

:

00:17:21,589 --> 00:17:21,648

a

:

00:17:21,664 --> 00:17:21,888

Stephanie: hard

:

00:17:21,904 --> 00:17:22,459

Krista/Bryan: time,

:

00:17:24,559 --> 00:17:24,799

When

:

00:17:24,799 --> 00:17:25,159

a mom

:

00:17:25,159 --> 00:17:30,519

or a dad is willing to come and

say, I recognize I did this, and

:

00:17:30,519 --> 00:17:31,059

I'm sure

:

00:17:31,059 --> 00:17:31,209

that

:

00:17:31,209 --> 00:17:31,509

probably

:

00:17:31,509 --> 00:17:32,649

hurt you, right?

:

00:17:32,649 --> 00:17:33,129

to have

:

00:17:33,144 --> 00:17:34,269

some repentance

:

00:17:34,584 --> 00:17:35,109

Stephanie: for

:

00:17:36,309 --> 00:17:36,789

Krista/Bryan: the tricky

:

00:17:36,804 --> 00:17:37,254

Stephanie: thing here

:

00:17:37,479 --> 00:17:38,469

Krista/Bryan: you can't do

:

00:17:38,469 --> 00:17:39,999

that expecting an outcome.

:

00:17:40,269 --> 00:17:41,019

You come

:

00:17:41,124 --> 00:17:42,084

Stephanie: repent for what you did

:

00:17:42,084 --> 00:17:42,639

Krista/Bryan: wrong,

:

00:17:42,969 --> 00:17:43,929

expecting that.

:

00:17:43,929 --> 00:17:45,249

Now magically that's

:

00:17:45,249 --> 00:17:46,239

gonna mean your kid says,

:

00:17:46,629 --> 00:17:48,309

oh, I'm so glad you said that.

:

00:17:48,339 --> 00:17:50,349

I'm ready to go down

to the altar and pray.

:

00:17:50,364 --> 00:17:50,639

you

:

00:17:50,639 --> 00:17:50,939

you

:

00:17:50,939 --> 00:17:51,359

have to

:

00:17:51,374 --> 00:17:51,764

Stephanie: release

:

00:17:52,499 --> 00:17:52,649

Krista/Bryan: the

:

00:17:52,649 --> 00:17:52,979

Lord

:

00:17:52,994 --> 00:17:54,314

Stephanie: as well and

:

00:17:54,629 --> 00:17:54,959

Krista/Bryan: that

:

00:17:55,334 --> 00:17:55,904

Stephanie: vertical

:

00:17:55,904 --> 00:17:56,594

obedience.

:

00:17:56,639 --> 00:18:01,614

Krista/Bryan: I'm repenting, I'm

seeking to to make amends to my

:

00:18:01,614 --> 00:18:01,914

kids

:

00:18:02,259 --> 00:18:02,574

Stephanie: things

:

00:18:04,389 --> 00:18:04,524

Krista/Bryan: I

:

00:18:04,524 --> 00:18:05,214

love them,

:

00:18:05,514 --> 00:18:06,204

because

:

00:18:06,204 --> 00:18:06,904

I I

:

00:18:06,904 --> 00:18:07,294

want

:

00:18:07,294 --> 00:18:07,384

to

:

00:18:07,399 --> 00:18:07,999

Stephanie: be faithful to

:

00:18:08,134 --> 00:18:08,614

Krista/Bryan: Lord.

:

00:18:08,764 --> 00:18:09,244

Maybe

:

00:18:09,244 --> 00:18:09,874

that affects

:

00:18:09,874 --> 00:18:09,964

and

:

00:18:09,964 --> 00:18:10,924

moves their heart.

:

00:18:11,314 --> 00:18:11,614

Maybe

:

00:18:11,614 --> 00:18:12,244

it doesn't.

:

00:18:12,304 --> 00:18:12,904

Maybe it's

:

00:18:12,904 --> 00:18:13,294

simply

:

00:18:13,294 --> 00:18:14,314

about me

:

00:18:14,494 --> 00:18:16,864

living in humility and repentance.

:

00:18:16,924 --> 00:18:18,514

Sorry, I'm talking a lot, babe.

:

00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:18,844

I'll let

:

00:18:18,844 --> 00:18:19,264

you,

:

00:18:19,309 --> 00:18:19,459

Stephanie: I'll

:

00:18:19,459 --> 00:18:19,564

Krista/Bryan: let

:

00:18:19,564 --> 00:18:19,834

you say

:

00:18:19,834 --> 00:18:20,044

something

:

00:18:20,044 --> 00:18:20,134

in a

:

00:18:20,134 --> 00:18:20,464

minute.

:

00:18:21,666 --> 00:18:22,071

thing that I

:

00:18:22,071 --> 00:18:22,941

would say though

:

00:18:23,206 --> 00:18:24,691

is hold your child

:

00:18:24,691 --> 00:18:25,381

Stephanie: then loosely.

:

00:18:25,381 --> 00:18:25,591

So

:

00:18:25,606 --> 00:18:27,676

Krista/Bryan: I guess I'm really

saying examine your own heart,

:

00:18:27,706 --> 00:18:27,946

right?

:

00:18:27,961 --> 00:18:28,201

Stephanie: Look

:

00:18:28,201 --> 00:18:28,831

inward,

:

00:18:29,176 --> 00:18:29,326

Krista/Bryan: but

:

00:18:29,326 --> 00:18:29,536

then

:

00:18:29,536 --> 00:18:29,896

in terms

:

00:18:29,896 --> 00:18:29,956

of

:

00:18:29,956 --> 00:18:30,196

that

:

00:18:30,256 --> 00:18:30,706

outward

:

00:18:30,706 --> 00:18:31,606

relationship

:

00:18:31,606 --> 00:18:31,756

to

:

00:18:31,801 --> 00:18:32,341

Stephanie: really

:

00:18:32,456 --> 00:18:32,876

Krista/Bryan: hold

:

00:18:32,876 --> 00:18:32,966

the

:

00:18:32,966 --> 00:18:33,686

child loosely

:

00:18:33,686 --> 00:18:34,226

before the

:

00:18:34,226 --> 00:18:34,736

Lord,

:

00:18:34,916 --> 00:18:35,096

as

:

00:18:35,096 --> 00:18:36,266

far as how parents

:

00:18:36,296 --> 00:18:38,486

interact with kids, I see extremes there,

:

00:18:38,486 --> 00:18:38,876

right?

:

00:18:39,566 --> 00:18:40,121

parent oh,

:

00:18:40,571 --> 00:18:41,111

send them this

:

00:18:41,111 --> 00:18:41,681

scripture,

:

00:18:41,861 --> 00:18:42,041

if

:

00:18:42,041 --> 00:18:42,341

I just

:

00:18:42,341 --> 00:18:42,521

send

:

00:18:42,521 --> 00:18:42,851

them this

:

00:18:43,091 --> 00:18:43,901

meme, that's gonna

:

00:18:43,901 --> 00:18:44,021

be

:

00:18:44,021 --> 00:18:44,141

the

:

00:18:44,141 --> 00:18:44,501

thing

:

00:18:44,516 --> 00:18:44,816

Stephanie: that like

:

00:18:44,816 --> 00:18:45,086

Krista/Bryan: turns

:

00:18:45,086 --> 00:18:45,161

it

:

00:18:45,161 --> 00:18:45,281

all

:

00:18:45,281 --> 00:18:45,671

around.

:

00:18:45,731 --> 00:18:46,331

And they're

:

00:18:47,591 --> 00:18:47,951

wanting

:

00:18:47,951 --> 00:18:48,161

that

:

00:18:48,161 --> 00:18:48,551

prodigal

:

00:18:48,566 --> 00:18:48,821

journey

:

00:18:48,821 --> 00:18:49,091

to be

:

00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:49,781

over

:

00:18:50,141 --> 00:18:50,441

because

:

00:18:50,441 --> 00:18:51,191

it's hard.

:

00:18:51,251 --> 00:18:52,451

There is grief in it.

:

00:18:52,451 --> 00:18:52,721

There

:

00:18:52,721 --> 00:18:54,071

is intense pain

:

00:18:54,371 --> 00:18:57,971

in watching your child make

foolish, sinful choices.

:

00:18:57,971 --> 00:19:00,401

Choices that grieve your

heart, that grieve God's heart.

:

00:19:00,401 --> 00:19:00,581

Like

:

00:19:00,656 --> 00:19:00,836

Stephanie: it

:

00:19:00,836 --> 00:19:01,091

Krista/Bryan: is a

:

00:19:01,091 --> 00:19:01,781

real pain.

:

00:19:02,111 --> 00:19:02,321

So

:

00:19:02,321 --> 00:19:02,531

they're

:

00:19:02,561 --> 00:19:02,741

just

:

00:19:02,741 --> 00:19:03,611

saying, if I

:

00:19:03,611 --> 00:19:04,001

do this,

:

00:19:04,046 --> 00:19:04,166

Stephanie: if

:

00:19:04,361 --> 00:19:04,721

Krista/Bryan: this, if

:

00:19:04,721 --> 00:19:04,841

I,

:

00:19:04,931 --> 00:19:05,171

so

:

00:19:05,171 --> 00:19:06,351

they're still Now

:

00:19:06,426 --> 00:19:07,086

Stephanie: parenting for

:

00:19:07,086 --> 00:19:07,146

Krista/Bryan: an

:

00:19:07,161 --> 00:19:08,361

outcome, right?

:

00:19:08,361 --> 00:19:08,571

They

:

00:19:08,571 --> 00:19:08,781

are

:

00:19:08,781 --> 00:19:09,231

still

:

00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:09,771

focused

:

00:19:09,771 --> 00:19:10,131

on,

:

00:19:10,911 --> 00:19:11,121

this

:

00:19:11,121 --> 00:19:12,081

so badly,

:

00:19:12,141 --> 00:19:12,381

I'm

:

00:19:12,381 --> 00:19:12,621

gonna

:

00:19:12,621 --> 00:19:12,831

do

:

00:19:12,831 --> 00:19:13,581

anything.

:

00:19:14,061 --> 00:19:14,691

The problem

:

00:19:15,081 --> 00:19:15,381

is

:

00:19:15,411 --> 00:19:15,621

it

:

00:19:15,636 --> 00:19:15,996

Stephanie: keeps

:

00:19:15,996 --> 00:19:16,281

Krista/Bryan: that

:

00:19:16,281 --> 00:19:16,881

parent.

:

00:19:17,256 --> 00:19:17,586

In

:

00:19:17,586 --> 00:19:17,706

the

:

00:19:17,706 --> 00:19:18,246

grief.

:

00:19:18,426 --> 00:19:18,666

Stephanie: They

:

00:19:18,816 --> 00:19:19,566

constantly

:

00:19:19,566 --> 00:19:20,076

Krista/Bryan: grieving.

:

00:19:20,106 --> 00:19:20,256

They

:

00:19:20,256 --> 00:19:20,916

cannot

:

00:19:20,916 --> 00:19:22,836

work through the grief and

:

00:19:22,836 --> 00:19:23,136

come

:

00:19:23,166 --> 00:19:23,256

Stephanie: to

:

00:19:23,256 --> 00:19:23,316

Krista/Bryan: a

:

00:19:23,316 --> 00:19:23,616

place

:

00:19:23,616 --> 00:19:23,706

of

:

00:19:23,706 --> 00:19:26,406

surrender trying so hard

:

00:19:26,586 --> 00:19:27,006

to change

:

00:19:27,036 --> 00:19:27,096

Stephanie: the

:

00:19:27,096 --> 00:19:27,876

Krista/Bryan: situation.

:

00:19:27,936 --> 00:19:28,326

And

:

00:19:28,326 --> 00:19:28,476

then

:

00:19:28,476 --> 00:19:28,566

it

:

00:19:28,566 --> 00:19:29,466

often backfires

:

00:19:29,466 --> 00:19:29,586

with

:

00:19:29,586 --> 00:19:29,976

a kid.

:

00:19:30,006 --> 00:19:30,186

It

:

00:19:30,186 --> 00:19:30,516

pushes

:

00:19:30,516 --> 00:19:30,606

the

:

00:19:30,606 --> 00:19:30,756

kid

:

00:19:30,756 --> 00:19:30,966

away

:

00:19:30,966 --> 00:19:31,206

from

:

00:19:31,206 --> 00:19:31,296

the

:

00:19:31,296 --> 00:19:31,686

Lord,

:

00:19:31,716 --> 00:19:32,136

right?

:

00:19:32,136 --> 00:19:33,636

Or away from the parent,

:

00:19:33,696 --> 00:19:34,116

ah,

:

00:19:34,176 --> 00:19:34,566

I'm sick

:

00:19:34,566 --> 00:19:34,956

and tired.

:

00:19:34,956 --> 00:19:35,616

My mom's always

:

00:19:35,616 --> 00:19:36,096

talking about

:

00:19:36,096 --> 00:19:36,606

religion.

:

00:19:36,666 --> 00:19:36,876

That

:

00:19:36,876 --> 00:19:37,026

kind

:

00:19:37,026 --> 00:19:37,356

of thing.

:

00:19:37,896 --> 00:19:38,136

The

:

00:19:38,196 --> 00:19:38,556

other

:

00:19:38,556 --> 00:19:39,576

ditch though

:

00:19:39,816 --> 00:19:40,206

is

:

00:19:40,206 --> 00:19:40,356

I

:

00:19:40,746 --> 00:19:42,276

parents, because they don't wanna lose a

:

00:19:42,276 --> 00:19:42,876

relationship

:

00:19:42,876 --> 00:19:43,026

Stephanie: with

:

00:19:43,026 --> 00:19:43,116

Krista/Bryan: their

:

00:19:43,116 --> 00:19:43,806

child,

:

00:19:44,166 --> 00:19:44,616

they

:

00:19:45,156 --> 00:19:45,606

begin

:

00:19:45,606 --> 00:19:48,366

to embrace or even enable the child's

:

00:19:48,366 --> 00:19:48,846

sinful

:

00:19:50,526 --> 00:19:51,156

Because

:

00:19:51,156 --> 00:19:52,176

it's more important

:

00:19:52,176 --> 00:19:52,296

for

:

00:19:52,296 --> 00:19:52,506

Stephanie: me to

:

00:19:52,506 --> 00:19:52,776

Krista/Bryan: keep

:

00:19:52,776 --> 00:19:52,956

Stephanie: my

:

00:19:52,956 --> 00:19:53,616

Krista/Bryan: relationship

:

00:19:53,616 --> 00:19:53,736

with

:

00:19:53,946 --> 00:19:54,726

child,

:

00:19:55,056 --> 00:19:55,296

then

:

00:19:55,296 --> 00:19:55,896

maybe that

:

00:19:55,896 --> 00:19:56,046

my

:

00:19:56,046 --> 00:19:56,946

child would

:

00:19:57,096 --> 00:19:57,516

someday

:

00:19:57,516 --> 00:19:57,696

have

:

00:19:57,696 --> 00:19:57,756

a

:

00:19:57,801 --> 00:19:58,371

Stephanie: relationship

:

00:19:58,371 --> 00:19:58,506

Krista/Bryan: with

:

00:19:58,521 --> 00:19:58,976

God,

:

00:19:59,526 --> 00:19:59,646

So

:

00:19:59,646 --> 00:19:59,766

in

:

00:19:59,766 --> 00:19:59,826

a

:

00:19:59,826 --> 00:20:00,936

some sense,

:

00:20:01,176 --> 00:20:02,351

again, driven by of

:

00:20:02,351 --> 00:20:02,621

losing

:

00:20:02,621 --> 00:20:02,741

their

:

00:20:02,741 --> 00:20:03,611

relationship,

:

00:20:04,796 --> 00:20:04,931

their

:

00:20:04,931 --> 00:20:05,111

own

:

00:20:05,111 --> 00:20:05,711

conscience.

:

00:20:05,711 --> 00:20:05,861

They

:

00:20:05,861 --> 00:20:06,011

will

:

00:20:06,731 --> 00:20:07,001

own

:

00:20:07,001 --> 00:20:07,721

relationship with

:

00:20:07,721 --> 00:20:08,351

God in

:

00:20:08,381 --> 00:20:08,741

order

:

00:20:08,876 --> 00:20:09,176

Stephanie: just

:

00:20:09,176 --> 00:20:09,446

keep

:

00:20:09,446 --> 00:20:09,851

Krista/Bryan: that child

:

00:20:09,941 --> 00:20:10,421

their life.

:

00:20:10,451 --> 00:20:10,541

I

:

00:20:11,201 --> 00:20:11,891

wanna lose them.

:

00:20:11,891 --> 00:20:12,221

I just

:

00:20:12,221 --> 00:20:12,491

don't

:

00:20:12,506 --> 00:20:12,656

Stephanie: want

:

00:20:12,656 --> 00:20:12,731

Krista/Bryan: them

:

00:20:12,746 --> 00:20:12,821

to

:

00:20:12,821 --> 00:20:13,061

cut

:

00:20:13,061 --> 00:20:13,211

me

:

00:20:13,211 --> 00:20:13,601

out,

:

00:20:13,931 --> 00:20:14,321

Right.

:

00:20:15,176 --> 00:20:15,431

those

:

00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:16,121

are

:

00:20:16,361 --> 00:20:16,931

very

:

00:20:16,946 --> 00:20:17,516

Stephanie: fear

:

00:20:17,516 --> 00:20:18,116

driven.

:

00:20:18,461 --> 00:20:18,731

Krista/Bryan: So

:

00:20:18,731 --> 00:20:18,881

I

:

00:20:18,881 --> 00:20:19,061

would

:

00:20:19,061 --> 00:20:19,421

say

:

00:20:19,451 --> 00:20:20,771

it, it truly is

:

00:20:20,771 --> 00:20:21,311

about

:

00:20:21,341 --> 00:20:22,631

surrendering control.

:

00:20:22,661 --> 00:20:23,051

There are

:

00:20:23,051 --> 00:20:23,801

only some

:

00:20:23,801 --> 00:20:24,071

things

:

00:20:24,071 --> 00:20:24,161

that

:

00:20:24,161 --> 00:20:24,341

are in

:

00:20:24,491 --> 00:20:24,911

lane.

:

00:20:25,121 --> 00:20:25,361

There

:

00:20:25,361 --> 00:20:25,721

are only

:

00:20:25,721 --> 00:20:26,141

some

:

00:20:26,531 --> 00:20:27,581

that influence

:

00:20:27,581 --> 00:20:27,941

and how

:

00:20:28,226 --> 00:20:29,171

a conversation

:

00:20:29,711 --> 00:20:29,801

I

:

00:20:29,801 --> 00:20:30,581

love them.

:

00:20:30,896 --> 00:20:31,436

Stephanie: and all

:

00:20:31,781 --> 00:20:32,261

Krista/Bryan: things

:

00:20:32,546 --> 00:20:32,726

Stephanie: Are

:

00:20:32,736 --> 00:20:32,886

Krista/Bryan: in

:

00:20:32,906 --> 00:20:33,596

Stephanie: God's domain

:

00:20:33,606 --> 00:20:34,056

Krista/Bryan: only,

:

00:20:34,116 --> 00:20:34,326

I

:

00:20:34,326 --> 00:20:35,106

absolutely

:

00:20:35,106 --> 00:20:35,886

have to

:

00:20:36,096 --> 00:20:37,116

surrender them.

:

00:20:37,476 --> 00:20:37,656

I'll

:

00:20:37,656 --> 00:20:39,036

stop for a second 'cause I

:

00:20:39,036 --> 00:20:39,456

got more

:

00:20:39,476 --> 00:20:39,906

thoughts,

:

00:20:39,906 --> 00:20:40,086

but

:

00:20:40,806 --> 00:20:40,916

I

:

00:20:40,926 --> 00:20:41,166

wanna

:

00:20:41,166 --> 00:20:41,376

hear

:

00:20:41,426 --> 00:20:41,526

what

:

00:20:41,526 --> 00:20:41,826

Brian

:

00:20:41,826 --> 00:20:42,036

has

:

00:20:42,036 --> 00:20:42,156

to

:

00:20:42,156 --> 00:20:42,636

say.

:

00:20:42,786 --> 00:20:43,236

You, You're

:

00:20:43,236 --> 00:20:43,776

getting a into

:

00:20:43,776 --> 00:20:44,406

our marriage

:

00:20:44,406 --> 00:20:44,616

here.

:

00:20:44,616 --> 00:20:44,916

now.

:

00:20:44,916 --> 00:20:45,216

Right?

:

00:20:45,306 --> 00:20:45,936

You always got more

:

00:20:45,936 --> 00:20:46,416

Thoughts.

:

00:20:46,611 --> 00:20:46,961

Sorry.

:

00:20:49,021 --> 00:20:49,641

Oh, I, That's

:

00:20:49,951 --> 00:20:50,721

it's great.

:

00:20:51,016 --> 00:20:53,836

That's all that stuff is

really great and accurate.

:

00:20:53,906 --> 00:20:54,446

I guess

:

00:20:54,656 --> 00:20:55,286

really the only

:

00:20:55,286 --> 00:20:55,556

thing I

:

00:20:55,556 --> 00:20:55,766

could

:

00:20:55,786 --> 00:20:56,296

Stephanie: add

:

00:20:57,296 --> 00:21:00,916

Krista/Bryan: would be to, in some it

strikes me that in some respects, the guys

:

00:21:00,916 --> 00:21:01,426

that come into

:

00:21:01,426 --> 00:21:05,461

my office many of 'em are what

I would call maybe fringe faith.

:

00:21:05,686 --> 00:21:06,226

Stephanie: Guys

:

00:21:06,286 --> 00:21:07,246

Krista/Bryan: maybe some elements

:

00:21:07,246 --> 00:21:07,366

of

:

00:21:07,366 --> 00:21:07,546

some

:

00:21:07,546 --> 00:21:13,296

prodigal things, so what I think

parents can do, and maybe I'm thinking

:

00:21:13,296 --> 00:21:17,811

more of adult children than at that

point is be absolutely prepared

:

00:21:17,811 --> 00:21:18,981

to meet them where they're at.

:

00:21:19,071 --> 00:21:19,311

Yeah.

:

00:21:19,691 --> 00:21:21,036

And you said control.

:

00:21:21,036 --> 00:21:24,996

So giving up control is the only

way you can do that I need to, when

:

00:21:24,996 --> 00:21:28,806

I'm working with these guys, is I

need to meet them where they're at.

:

00:21:29,076 --> 00:21:31,766

And so it's the same with a child that's

:

00:21:31,916 --> 00:21:33,086

on whatever prodigal

:

00:21:33,086 --> 00:21:33,416

journey

:

00:21:33,416 --> 00:21:33,926

they're on.

:

00:21:33,926 --> 00:21:35,606

It's we're meeting them where

:

00:21:35,666 --> 00:21:37,286

they're at their

:

00:21:37,516 --> 00:21:38,126

Stephanie: journey.

:

00:21:38,806 --> 00:21:40,126

Krista/Bryan: Is between them and God.

:

00:21:40,306 --> 00:21:40,426

Right.

:

00:21:41,266 --> 00:21:43,126

Hopefully a faith journey kind of thing.

:

00:21:43,126 --> 00:21:46,716

But whatever they've got, if they're not

ready, we're not ready, kind of thing.

:

00:21:46,716 --> 00:21:48,706

But I think that would be the only thing.

:

00:21:49,036 --> 00:21:49,426

Yeah.

:

00:21:49,426 --> 00:21:52,041

No, I might add I

absolutely agree with that.

:

00:21:52,041 --> 00:21:57,531

I think like the word picture I sometimes

use about that is like the heart soil and

:

00:21:57,531 --> 00:21:59,271

saying, what's their heart soil right now?

:

00:21:59,271 --> 00:21:59,541

Right?

:

00:21:59,541 --> 00:21:59,991

So if their

:

00:21:59,991 --> 00:22:00,321

heart

:

00:22:00,321 --> 00:22:00,441

is

:

00:22:00,441 --> 00:22:01,341

Stephanie: really hard,

:

00:22:01,671 --> 00:22:04,161

Krista/Bryan: I might just wanna

love on, I might just wanna love on

:

00:22:04,161 --> 00:22:05,931

them and keep my mouth shut, right?

:

00:22:05,931 --> 00:22:09,321

I wanna just model Jesus as opposed to

:

00:22:09,351 --> 00:22:10,121

if the

:

00:22:10,121 --> 00:22:14,141

heart posture begins to be a little bit

softer, I see some life consequences

:

00:22:14,141 --> 00:22:16,301

happen and there's a little more openness.

:

00:22:16,391 --> 00:22:16,751

That's

:

00:22:16,751 --> 00:22:16,841

the

:

00:22:16,841 --> 00:22:20,121

place where you could start

to interject a little bit of

:

00:22:20,121 --> 00:22:21,591

truth or something like that.

:

00:22:21,591 --> 00:22:21,981

Loving

:

00:22:21,981 --> 00:22:22,131

your

:

00:22:22,131 --> 00:22:22,581

prodigal

:

00:22:22,581 --> 00:22:23,151

child

:

00:22:23,511 --> 00:22:25,791

isn't really dissimilar to

:

00:22:25,851 --> 00:22:26,301

loving

:

00:22:26,301 --> 00:22:26,721

any

:

00:22:26,781 --> 00:22:27,501

unbeliever.

:

00:22:27,531 --> 00:22:31,581

It really involves wisdom and

discernment and as you said,

:

00:22:31,791 --> 00:22:32,271

Stephanie: meeting

:

00:22:32,271 --> 00:22:32,331

a

:

00:22:33,201 --> 00:22:33,801

Krista/Bryan: exactly

:

00:22:33,801 --> 00:22:34,161

where they

:

00:22:34,161 --> 00:22:34,551

are

:

00:22:34,551 --> 00:22:34,701

and

:

00:22:34,911 --> 00:22:35,241

where you

:

00:22:35,241 --> 00:22:36,231

wish they were.

:

00:22:36,441 --> 00:22:40,251

It's just a little harder when it's

your own child because you have

:

00:22:40,251 --> 00:22:40,941

that image

:

00:22:40,941 --> 00:22:45,861

in your mind of where they were

before, where you wish they were now.

:

00:22:46,141 --> 00:22:48,751

So it's harder for you to do

the heart work, to be able

:

00:22:48,751 --> 00:22:49,891

to meet them where they are.

:

00:22:50,731 --> 00:22:50,881

Yeah.

:

00:22:50,881 --> 00:22:52,471

Curiosity over debate.

:

00:22:52,471 --> 00:22:53,491

Absolutely.

:

00:22:53,541 --> 00:22:53,811

Yep.

:

00:22:54,546 --> 00:22:55,356

Absolutely.

:

00:22:55,636 --> 00:23:00,196

An another thing I would say too, when I'm

thinking about this idea of surrender, and

:

00:23:00,196 --> 00:23:04,126

maybe this particularly applies to moms,

I don't, wouldn't say that it doesn't

:

00:23:04,126 --> 00:23:04,396

apply

:

00:23:04,396 --> 00:23:04,966

to dads.

:

00:23:04,966 --> 00:23:05,686

But I know

:

00:23:05,686 --> 00:23:05,776

a

:

00:23:05,776 --> 00:23:11,206

lot of moms, they carry that grief of

their prodigal child every single day,

:

00:23:11,236 --> 00:23:12,616

like every thought that they think.

:

00:23:12,616 --> 00:23:14,836

And they're constantly

praying and they're constantly

:

00:23:14,836 --> 00:23:15,371

Stephanie: dwelling.

:

00:23:16,116 --> 00:23:16,326

not

:

00:23:16,326 --> 00:23:17,406

Krista/Bryan: that's a bad thing,

:

00:23:17,436 --> 00:23:20,526

but it's sometimes keeping them

from loving their other children.

:

00:23:20,886 --> 00:23:21,096

Stephanie: It's

:

00:23:21,096 --> 00:23:21,486

Krista/Bryan: actually

:

00:23:21,486 --> 00:23:23,436

keeping them from a focus on the Lord.

:

00:23:23,436 --> 00:23:27,186

It's keeping them from stewarding their

time well, because they're so caught up.

:

00:23:27,191 --> 00:23:29,131

It's keeping them from

their husbands, it's keeping

:

00:23:29,131 --> 00:23:29,251

them

:

00:23:29,251 --> 00:23:29,371

from

:

00:23:29,401 --> 00:23:29,521

Stephanie: their

:

00:23:31,231 --> 00:23:31,441

Krista/Bryan: That

:

00:23:31,441 --> 00:23:31,561

is

:

00:23:31,891 --> 00:23:32,191

Stephanie: true.

:

00:23:32,191 --> 00:23:32,401

That

:

00:23:32,401 --> 00:23:33,331

the prodigal

:

00:23:33,481 --> 00:23:33,751

Krista/Bryan: may

:

00:23:33,751 --> 00:23:34,261

not even live

:

00:23:34,261 --> 00:23:34,321

in

:

00:23:34,321 --> 00:23:35,191

your home anymore.

:

00:23:35,221 --> 00:23:35,941

And yet they begin

:

00:23:35,941 --> 00:23:36,631

to dominate

:

00:23:36,661 --> 00:23:36,781

the

:

00:23:36,781 --> 00:23:37,261

environment

:

00:23:37,261 --> 00:23:37,351

in

:

00:23:37,351 --> 00:23:37,411

the

:

00:23:37,411 --> 00:23:39,811

home because they're

dominating mom's emotions.

:

00:23:40,376 --> 00:23:40,586

And

:

00:23:40,586 --> 00:23:41,276

so I

:

00:23:41,376 --> 00:23:42,576

always encourage 'em, think of it

:

00:23:42,709 --> 00:23:43,616

Stephanie: some object

:

00:23:43,616 --> 00:23:43,856

on your

:

00:23:43,856 --> 00:23:44,216

Krista/Bryan: mantle

:

00:23:44,216 --> 00:23:45,116

that you really value.

:

00:23:45,116 --> 00:23:47,696

Maybe you got a really nice set

of candlesticks or a clock or

:

00:23:47,696 --> 00:23:48,716

something when you got married,

:

00:23:48,716 --> 00:23:49,046

right?

:

00:23:49,256 --> 00:23:50,876

You don't carry that object around

:

00:23:50,876 --> 00:23:52,136

with you in your purse and

:

00:23:52,136 --> 00:23:52,526

stroke

:

00:23:52,556 --> 00:23:52,766

Stephanie: it all

:

00:23:52,766 --> 00:23:52,826

the

:

00:23:52,826 --> 00:23:53,156

time

:

00:23:53,216 --> 00:23:53,306

and

:

00:23:54,146 --> 00:23:54,206

Krista/Bryan: it

:

00:23:54,206 --> 00:23:54,476

everywhere

:

00:23:54,476 --> 00:23:54,626

you

:

00:23:54,656 --> 00:23:55,346

go,

:

00:23:55,417 --> 00:23:55,657

You

:

00:23:55,657 --> 00:23:56,167

keep it

:

00:23:56,287 --> 00:23:56,527

Stephanie: there

:

00:23:56,527 --> 00:23:57,247

Krista/Bryan: on the mantle.

:

00:23:57,637 --> 00:23:58,157

It is a

:

00:23:58,187 --> 00:23:58,487

Stephanie: place

:

00:23:58,487 --> 00:23:58,607

Krista/Bryan: that

:

00:23:58,607 --> 00:23:59,087

matters.

:

00:23:59,337 --> 00:23:59,487

It's

:

00:23:59,487 --> 00:23:59,577

a

:

00:23:59,577 --> 00:23:59,877

place

:

00:23:59,877 --> 00:24:01,767

where you're gonna look at

it every once in a while and

:

00:24:01,767 --> 00:24:03,237

remember what it means to you.

:

00:24:03,327 --> 00:24:03,657

Right.

:

00:24:03,657 --> 00:24:04,527

But you're not carrying

:

00:24:04,527 --> 00:24:04,617

it

:

00:24:04,617 --> 00:24:04,707

with

:

00:24:04,707 --> 00:24:05,547

you constantly.

:

00:24:05,907 --> 00:24:06,717

And so to think of

:

00:24:06,717 --> 00:24:07,587

your prodigal child

:

00:24:07,607 --> 00:24:08,657

Stephanie: in that way

:

00:24:08,887 --> 00:24:09,217

Krista/Bryan: that

:

00:24:09,217 --> 00:24:09,367

you're

:

00:24:09,387 --> 00:24:09,597

Stephanie: gonna

:

00:24:09,597 --> 00:24:09,877

Krista/Bryan: circle

:

00:24:09,877 --> 00:24:10,657

back around,

:

00:24:10,717 --> 00:24:10,867

you're

:

00:24:10,867 --> 00:24:11,797

not gonna stop

:

00:24:11,917 --> 00:24:12,907

praying for them.

:

00:24:12,907 --> 00:24:13,057

You're

:

00:24:13,107 --> 00:24:13,287

Stephanie: not

:

00:24:13,287 --> 00:24:13,527

gonna

:

00:24:13,947 --> 00:24:16,167

Krista/Bryan: watching for

the moments that you might

:

00:24:16,167 --> 00:24:16,317

be

:

00:24:16,317 --> 00:24:16,527

able

:

00:24:16,577 --> 00:24:16,847

Stephanie: to have

:

00:24:16,847 --> 00:24:16,907

a

:

00:24:16,907 --> 00:24:17,232

little bit

:

00:24:17,247 --> 00:24:17,967

Krista/Bryan: of influence in their

:

00:24:17,967 --> 00:24:21,447

life or love them well, but you

can't be obsessed with that.

:

00:24:21,477 --> 00:24:25,887

You, you can't live constantly

in that space of grief.

:

00:24:25,977 --> 00:24:26,487

Right.

:

00:24:26,647 --> 00:24:27,067

You've got

:

00:24:27,067 --> 00:24:27,487

to learn

:

00:24:27,487 --> 00:24:30,697

to put it on the shelf and when

are the right times for me to come

:

00:24:30,697 --> 00:24:32,812

back around and to revisit that.

:

00:24:32,812 --> 00:24:34,877

Don't make your prodigal an idol.

:

00:24:35,172 --> 00:24:36,012

Stephanie: and, I Absolutely.

:

00:24:36,012 --> 00:24:36,402

Right.

:

00:24:36,402 --> 00:24:40,199

And that's such a good distinction because

I think some parents might buy the lie

:

00:24:40,199 --> 00:24:42,059

that, oh, if I'm just faithful in prayer,

:

00:24:42,459 --> 00:24:43,659

I'll bring them back.

:

00:24:43,659 --> 00:24:47,799

But God hasn't called you to be

faithless with the rest of your life.

:

00:24:47,799 --> 00:24:48,580

I think that's right.

:

00:24:48,580 --> 00:24:49,481

That's great wisdom there.

:

00:24:49,651 --> 00:24:53,131

And then what can others do to

come alongside parents, to not

:

00:24:53,131 --> 00:24:57,151

shame them, but to support them and

love them well as they're really

:

00:24:57,841 --> 00:24:57,991

Krista/Bryan: Mm-hmm.

:

00:24:58,231 --> 00:24:58,861

Stephanie: Yeah,

:

00:24:59,171 --> 00:25:03,914

Krista/Bryan: We alluded to this earlier,

but I think all of us need to challenge

:

00:25:03,974 --> 00:25:04,184

our

:

00:25:04,184 --> 00:25:08,204

assumptions that if somebody's child

isn't following the Lord, it's because

:

00:25:08,204 --> 00:25:10,124

of something that person did wrong and

:

00:25:10,124 --> 00:25:10,454

how they

:

00:25:10,454 --> 00:25:11,264

parented them.

:

00:25:11,474 --> 00:25:11,954

Right.

:

00:25:12,384 --> 00:25:13,624

Instead, we

:

00:25:13,624 --> 00:25:14,524

need to meet a person

:

00:25:14,524 --> 00:25:14,824

at

:

00:25:14,824 --> 00:25:15,004

their

:

00:25:15,004 --> 00:25:15,424

place

:

00:25:15,424 --> 00:25:15,604

of

:

00:25:17,959 --> 00:25:18,199

Stephanie: must

:

00:25:18,334 --> 00:25:19,384

Krista/Bryan: for them, that their

:

00:25:19,384 --> 00:25:19,744

child

:

00:25:19,744 --> 00:25:19,984

isn't

:

00:25:19,984 --> 00:25:20,404

walking

:

00:25:20,404 --> 00:25:20,614

with

:

00:25:20,614 --> 00:25:21,954

the Lord with

:

00:25:21,954 --> 00:25:22,974

any kind of grief.

:

00:25:23,089 --> 00:25:23,559

Don't offer

:

00:25:23,679 --> 00:25:24,099

Stephanie: scripture

:

00:25:24,099 --> 00:25:24,204

Krista/Bryan: at

:

00:25:24,204 --> 00:25:24,294

the

:

00:25:24,294 --> 00:25:24,894

wrong time.

:

00:25:25,344 --> 00:25:25,704

someone

:

00:25:25,704 --> 00:25:25,884

is

:

00:25:25,884 --> 00:25:26,724

grieving

:

00:25:27,639 --> 00:25:27,894

might

:

00:25:27,894 --> 00:25:28,719

be salt in

:

00:25:28,734 --> 00:25:29,304

their wound.

:

00:25:29,364 --> 00:25:29,544

You

:

00:25:29,559 --> 00:25:29,634

know

:

00:25:29,634 --> 00:25:30,264

what I mean?

:

00:25:31,079 --> 00:25:31,409

we have

:

00:25:31,409 --> 00:25:34,839

to use scripture wisely when their

heart is really, in the right

:

00:25:34,839 --> 00:25:36,849

place to be able to receive it.

:

00:25:36,879 --> 00:25:40,129

This really is like a

disenfranchised grief.

:

00:25:40,129 --> 00:25:44,059

People don't think about it, but it really

is a deep grief for a parent, a Christian

:

00:25:44,059 --> 00:25:46,189

parent that's walking through this.

:

00:25:46,339 --> 00:25:46,729

Yeah.

:

00:25:46,729 --> 00:25:50,899

I think if you're the person wanting to

come alongside that the mindset or your

:

00:25:50,899 --> 00:25:54,079

heart that's important, don't think for

one second that it can't happen to you.

:

00:25:54,079 --> 00:25:54,559

That's right.

:

00:25:54,619 --> 00:25:58,129

Really, at any point in time until your

children are actually in the grave Right.

:

00:25:58,129 --> 00:25:58,369

Any

:

00:25:58,369 --> 00:25:59,633

point in time We can have

:

00:25:59,633 --> 00:25:59,783

that

:

00:25:59,783 --> 00:26:00,953

happen, quote

:

00:26:01,043 --> 00:26:01,403

happen

:

00:26:01,403 --> 00:26:01,583

to

:

00:26:01,583 --> 00:26:02,138

us, right?

:

00:26:02,138 --> 00:26:02,139

Right.

:

00:26:02,144 --> 00:26:02,443

So

:

00:26:02,563 --> 00:26:03,103

having

:

00:26:03,103 --> 00:26:03,583

empathy

:

00:26:03,583 --> 00:26:04,513

and compassion,

:

00:26:04,573 --> 00:26:05,623

should rule the day.

:

00:26:05,873 --> 00:26:06,083

How

:

00:26:06,083 --> 00:26:06,233

would

:

00:26:06,233 --> 00:26:07,133

you wanna be treated?

:

00:26:07,203 --> 00:26:07,473

Right?

:

00:26:07,473 --> 00:26:07,683

When

:

00:26:07,683 --> 00:26:08,313

it, when

:

00:26:08,433 --> 00:26:12,973

or if it ever happens to, to your

family, weep with those who weep, right?

:

00:26:12,973 --> 00:26:14,023

That's exactly right.

:

00:26:14,323 --> 00:26:14,623

Yeah.

:

00:26:14,623 --> 00:26:16,213

And not not saying

:

00:26:16,213 --> 00:26:16,543

things

:

00:26:16,553 --> 00:26:17,263

Stephanie: that bring

:

00:26:17,893 --> 00:26:18,313

Krista/Bryan: right?

:

00:26:18,313 --> 00:26:18,583

I

:

00:26:18,583 --> 00:26:18,733

have

:

00:26:18,743 --> 00:26:19,133

Stephanie: seen

:

00:26:19,133 --> 00:26:19,763

well-meaning

:

00:26:19,763 --> 00:26:20,423

friends that

:

00:26:20,513 --> 00:26:20,713

Krista/Bryan: like

:

00:26:20,713 --> 00:26:21,553

job's friends,

:

00:26:22,223 --> 00:26:22,373

Stephanie: you

:

00:26:22,373 --> 00:26:22,723

Krista/Bryan: sure

:

00:26:22,723 --> 00:26:23,273

you didn't do

:

00:26:23,293 --> 00:26:23,683

something?

:

00:26:23,833 --> 00:26:23,893

do

:

00:26:23,893 --> 00:26:24,073

you

:

00:26:24,073 --> 00:26:24,283

think?

:

00:26:24,293 --> 00:26:24,473

Stephanie: What

:

00:26:24,473 --> 00:26:24,553

Krista/Bryan: if

:

00:26:24,953 --> 00:26:26,243

And they're well-meaning,

:

00:26:26,243 --> 00:26:26,693

but all

:

00:26:26,703 --> 00:26:27,393

Stephanie: that's bringing

:

00:26:27,563 --> 00:26:27,593

Krista/Bryan: a

:

00:26:27,593 --> 00:26:28,253

parent,

:

00:26:28,323 --> 00:26:28,563

Stephanie: they're

:

00:26:28,563 --> 00:26:28,823

Krista/Bryan: already

:

00:26:29,213 --> 00:26:31,448

that if your child's

walked away from the Lord,

:

00:26:31,448 --> 00:26:31,598

you're

:

00:26:31,598 --> 00:26:33,278

already thinking that you don't need

:

00:26:33,278 --> 00:26:33,548

other

:

00:26:33,588 --> 00:26:34,278

Stephanie: people

:

00:26:34,658 --> 00:26:35,228

Krista/Bryan: to

:

00:26:35,258 --> 00:26:36,338

exacerbate

:

00:26:36,338 --> 00:26:36,728

that and

:

00:26:36,728 --> 00:26:36,968

tell

:

00:26:37,568 --> 00:26:37,868

all the

:

00:26:37,868 --> 00:26:41,798

things you're already wrestling with about

what your parenting failures have been.

:

00:26:41,848 --> 00:26:42,238

Yeah.

:

00:26:42,288 --> 00:26:42,588

And

:

00:26:42,838 --> 00:26:42,988

you

:

00:26:42,988 --> 00:26:43,228

might

:

00:26:43,228 --> 00:26:43,798

think.

:

00:26:44,678 --> 00:26:45,458

This happened to me.

:

00:26:45,538 --> 00:26:47,038

I'm walking in their shoes.

:

00:26:47,128 --> 00:26:47,488

Right?

:

00:26:47,538 --> 00:26:48,408

but even

:

00:26:48,408 --> 00:26:48,678

if you

:

00:26:48,678 --> 00:26:49,668

have everybody,

:

00:26:49,818 --> 00:26:50,358

the journey is

:

00:26:50,358 --> 00:26:50,748

different.

:

00:26:51,098 --> 00:26:55,088

You might have a little more credibility

in communicating with them, but it's a

:

00:26:55,088 --> 00:26:56,768

different journey from family to family.

:

00:26:56,768 --> 00:26:57,428

That's right.

:

00:26:57,428 --> 00:26:57,429

Right.

:

00:26:57,728 --> 00:27:02,348

If you've walked that journey

still, I would say reserve your

:

00:27:02,348 --> 00:27:04,358

advice for when you're asked for it.

:

00:27:04,498 --> 00:27:04,758

Stephanie: Really?

:

00:27:04,858 --> 00:27:09,823

Krista/Bryan: So be prepared for

that, but wait till you're asked.

:

00:27:09,853 --> 00:27:10,003

Yeah.

:

00:27:10,183 --> 00:27:11,023

That's really good.

:

00:27:11,333 --> 00:27:14,513

And maybe this is a final thought,

but I would say don't give up on

:

00:27:14,513 --> 00:27:15,953

walking the journey with them.

:

00:27:16,043 --> 00:27:16,493

Right.

:

00:27:16,493 --> 00:27:17,123

It can be a

:

00:27:17,123 --> 00:27:17,783

long

:

00:27:18,053 --> 00:27:19,133

journey, having a,

:

00:27:19,133 --> 00:27:19,433

some

:

00:27:19,433 --> 00:27:23,363

children, it's a couple of

years and some, it's years and

:

00:27:23,363 --> 00:27:24,173

very far

:

00:27:24,173 --> 00:27:25,553

into sin, before

:

00:27:25,553 --> 00:27:25,703

they

:

00:27:25,703 --> 00:27:26,153

come back

:

00:27:27,353 --> 00:27:27,863

Right.

:

00:27:28,103 --> 00:27:30,293

And so it can be a really long journey.

:

00:27:30,323 --> 00:27:30,953

And a lot of

:

00:27:30,953 --> 00:27:31,223

people

:

00:27:31,223 --> 00:27:32,093

forget that.

:

00:27:32,483 --> 00:27:32,723

And

:

00:27:32,723 --> 00:27:33,443

new griefs

:

00:27:33,443 --> 00:27:36,313

arise, new issues arise and

things that we're praying for

:

00:27:36,313 --> 00:27:37,153

in dealing with in our church.

:

00:27:37,153 --> 00:27:37,333

And

:

00:27:37,333 --> 00:27:37,543

Stephanie: we

:

00:27:37,543 --> 00:27:38,263

Krista/Bryan: forget

:

00:27:39,013 --> 00:27:39,703

Stephanie: never went

:

00:27:40,003 --> 00:27:40,153

Krista/Bryan: for

:

00:27:40,153 --> 00:27:40,363

that

:

00:27:40,363 --> 00:27:40,843

parent.

:

00:27:41,953 --> 00:27:42,013

or

:

00:27:42,013 --> 00:27:42,433

dad

:

00:27:42,433 --> 00:27:42,913

still

:

00:27:42,913 --> 00:27:43,693

faces

:

00:27:43,913 --> 00:27:44,213

Stephanie: every

:

00:27:44,213 --> 00:27:44,753

Christmas.

:

00:27:45,233 --> 00:27:46,553

Krista/Bryan: Every holiday

:

00:27:46,688 --> 00:27:46,988

Stephanie: with

:

00:27:46,988 --> 00:27:47,888

one child

:

00:27:48,113 --> 00:27:49,803

Krista/Bryan: that they

is not a believer or is

:

00:27:49,803 --> 00:27:50,343

not serving

:

00:27:50,343 --> 00:27:50,823

the Lord.

:

00:27:50,973 --> 00:27:51,243

That

:

00:27:51,243 --> 00:27:51,783

completely

:

00:27:51,783 --> 00:27:55,473

changes the dynamic of the way

they get to talk in their home.

:

00:27:55,623 --> 00:27:57,363

And the way they have to

filter the things that

:

00:27:57,363 --> 00:27:57,453

they

:

00:27:57,468 --> 00:27:57,858

Stephanie: have be

:

00:27:58,293 --> 00:27:58,653

Krista/Bryan: about

:

00:27:58,953 --> 00:27:59,283

every

:

00:27:59,283 --> 00:27:59,553

single

:

00:27:59,553 --> 00:28:00,063

time

:

00:28:00,183 --> 00:28:00,873

their family is

:

00:28:00,873 --> 00:28:01,353

together

:

00:28:01,563 --> 00:28:02,013

because of

:

00:28:02,013 --> 00:28:02,433

some

:

00:28:02,433 --> 00:28:02,913

prodigal

:

00:28:02,913 --> 00:28:03,723

choices.

:

00:28:03,973 --> 00:28:04,273

they're

:

00:28:04,278 --> 00:28:04,458

are

:

00:28:04,458 --> 00:28:05,028

bigger gaps

:

00:28:05,028 --> 00:28:05,118

in

:

00:28:05,118 --> 00:28:06,318

separations than that.

:

00:28:06,318 --> 00:28:06,558

Right?

:

00:28:06,558 --> 00:28:09,918

What if you have a prodigal

that's choosing a homosexual

:

00:28:09,948 --> 00:28:10,158

or

:

00:28:10,173 --> 00:28:10,833

Stephanie: transgendered

:

00:28:10,833 --> 00:28:11,703

Krista/Bryan: lifestyle,

:

00:28:12,048 --> 00:28:13,098

does that affect now

:

00:28:13,098 --> 00:28:14,658

grandchildren and nieces and nephews

:

00:28:14,658 --> 00:28:14,898

and how

:

00:28:14,898 --> 00:28:15,018

their

:

00:28:15,033 --> 00:28:15,423

Stephanie: moms and

:

00:28:15,828 --> 00:28:15,948

Krista/Bryan: you're

:

00:28:15,948 --> 00:28:16,368

maybe

:

00:28:16,428 --> 00:28:16,848

Christ

:

00:28:16,848 --> 00:28:17,658

following children,

:

00:28:17,658 --> 00:28:18,318

feel about

:

00:28:18,333 --> 00:28:19,023

Stephanie: the interactions?

:

00:28:19,263 --> 00:28:19,653

So

:

00:28:19,698 --> 00:28:22,248

Krista/Bryan: realizing for

some families, this grief

:

00:28:22,563 --> 00:28:22,923

Stephanie: never

:

00:28:22,923 --> 00:28:23,568

Krista/Bryan: goes away.

:

00:28:23,958 --> 00:28:24,228

So

:

00:28:24,228 --> 00:28:26,088

if you want to walk alongside

:

00:28:26,088 --> 00:28:27,618

them, check in

:

00:28:27,618 --> 00:28:28,128

on them

:

00:28:28,263 --> 00:28:28,593

Stephanie: every

:

00:28:28,593 --> 00:28:28,848

Krista/Bryan: now

:

00:28:28,863 --> 00:28:29,193

Stephanie: and then, Mm-hmm.

:

00:28:29,448 --> 00:28:29,868

Krista/Bryan: right?

:

00:28:29,868 --> 00:28:32,748

Don't let it be something

that now is just in

:

00:28:32,763 --> 00:28:32,823

Stephanie: the

:

00:28:33,378 --> 00:28:33,498

Krista/Bryan: and

:

00:28:33,498 --> 00:28:33,618

you

:

00:28:33,618 --> 00:28:35,988

never acknowledge it

and it's super awkward.

:

00:28:35,988 --> 00:28:38,748

And it's the elephant in the room

that we don't talk about, oh,

:

00:28:38,748 --> 00:28:40,218

my friend so and so whose child

:

00:28:40,398 --> 00:28:40,758

is doing,

:

00:28:40,773 --> 00:28:40,953

Stephanie: they're

:

00:28:40,953 --> 00:28:41,043

an

:

00:28:41,043 --> 00:28:41,673

alcoholic

:

00:28:41,673 --> 00:28:41,883

or

:

00:28:42,078 --> 00:28:42,798

Krista/Bryan: whatever,

:

00:28:43,203 --> 00:28:44,208

but instead to

:

00:28:44,208 --> 00:28:46,128

continue to extend

:

00:28:46,158 --> 00:28:46,818

compassion,

:

00:28:46,833 --> 00:28:47,283

Stephanie: remembering

:

00:28:47,283 --> 00:28:47,613

like

:

00:28:47,793 --> 00:28:48,018

they

:

00:28:48,678 --> 00:28:48,858

Krista/Bryan: to

:

00:28:48,858 --> 00:28:48,948

my

:

00:28:48,948 --> 00:28:49,398

metaphor,

:

00:28:49,398 --> 00:28:49,578

have

:

00:28:49,593 --> 00:28:49,773

Stephanie: put

:

00:28:49,773 --> 00:28:49,953

it on

:

00:28:49,953 --> 00:28:50,568

the shelf,

:

00:28:50,928 --> 00:28:51,168

Krista/Bryan: but

:

00:28:51,168 --> 00:28:51,348

it's

:

00:28:51,348 --> 00:28:51,588

still

:

00:28:51,588 --> 00:28:51,948

there.

:

00:28:51,978 --> 00:28:52,248

It's

:

00:28:52,248 --> 00:28:52,668

still got

:

00:28:52,668 --> 00:28:52,968

a place

:

00:28:52,968 --> 00:28:54,288

of prominence in their home.

:

00:28:54,288 --> 00:28:56,218

And and they still need your support.

:

00:28:56,983 --> 00:28:57,193

Yeah.

:

00:28:57,193 --> 00:28:57,883

And I'll say

:

00:28:57,883 --> 00:28:58,003

to

:

00:28:58,003 --> 00:28:58,513

guys,

:

00:28:58,573 --> 00:29:00,013

look, you've

:

00:29:00,013 --> 00:29:01,003

got a special role here.

:

00:29:01,003 --> 00:29:04,333

You grab that guy by the collar and

make sure he gets to different events.

:

00:29:04,333 --> 00:29:06,593

Take him out for, coffee or something.

:

00:29:06,593 --> 00:29:06,683

Right.

:

00:29:06,733 --> 00:29:07,033

He's

:

00:29:07,033 --> 00:29:07,273

gonna

:

00:29:07,303 --> 00:29:08,023

Stephanie: wanna withdraw.

:

00:29:08,023 --> 00:29:10,693

' Krista/Bryan: cause in some respects,

he feels a little embarrassed or

:

00:29:10,693 --> 00:29:12,223

he could feel a little embarrassed.

:

00:29:12,463 --> 00:29:13,963

It's easy for him to disappear.

:

00:29:13,993 --> 00:29:14,533

It's easy for

:

00:29:14,533 --> 00:29:14,713

men

:

00:29:14,713 --> 00:29:14,803

to

:

00:29:14,803 --> 00:29:15,763

disappear anyway.

:

00:29:15,953 --> 00:29:19,553

It's especially easy for whether it's

grieving over a prodigal or grieving over

:

00:29:19,553 --> 00:29:20,393

anything else.

:

00:29:20,463 --> 00:29:23,853

We have a role here like the no,

no brother left behind concept.

:

00:29:23,933 --> 00:29:24,683

But we need to be

:

00:29:24,908 --> 00:29:25,088

Stephanie: really

:

00:29:25,088 --> 00:29:25,433

Krista/Bryan: active

:

00:29:25,553 --> 00:29:25,883

that.

:

00:29:26,133 --> 00:29:26,403

Even

:

00:29:26,403 --> 00:29:26,493

if

:

00:29:26,508 --> 00:29:26,583

we're

:

00:29:26,763 --> 00:29:27,153

offering,

:

00:29:27,363 --> 00:29:28,203

bible verses

:

00:29:28,203 --> 00:29:31,203

and solutions and things

like that, it's side by side.

:

00:29:31,233 --> 00:29:33,063

They need to feel, they

still have a brotherhood.

:

00:29:33,243 --> 00:29:36,453

They still have got men in their

corner regardless of what's going on.

:

00:29:36,663 --> 00:29:37,383

We're there.

:

00:29:38,313 --> 00:29:38,463

Yeah.

:

00:29:38,463 --> 00:29:38,464

Right.

:

00:29:38,464 --> 00:29:40,767

It's just our physical presence

and that kind of thing.

:

00:29:40,767 --> 00:29:44,217

We need to provide that

for each other men wise.

:

00:29:44,247 --> 00:29:44,457

Yeah.

:

00:29:44,781 --> 00:29:48,646

Stephanie: This has been so rich,

so enlightening for families, for

:

00:29:48,646 --> 00:29:52,366

friendships, for our own walks with

the Lord, for marriages, parenting.

:

00:29:52,639 --> 00:29:57,889

You two are just a wealth of wisdom, but

I know it's been hard fought and we're so

:

00:29:57,889 --> 00:30:02,052

thankful for your selfless gift of time

people are gonna be blessed through this.

:

00:30:02,209 --> 00:30:02,757

Krista/Bryan: It's an honor.

:

00:30:02,802 --> 00:30:02,922

Stephanie: you.

:

00:30:02,922 --> 00:30:03,102

Thank

:

00:30:03,102 --> 00:30:03,282

you.

:

00:30:03,892 --> 00:30:05,062

Speaker 2: We know you're busy, mama.

:

00:30:05,212 --> 00:30:10,072

So we are truly grateful you joined us for

this episode of again, if you're looking

:

00:30:10,072 --> 00:30:13,942

for more information about building your

home on the foundation of Jesus Christ,

:

00:30:14,422 --> 00:30:20,572

head to www dot Entrusted Ministries

dot com to learn more about our study

:

00:30:20,572 --> 00:30:22,702

for moms Entrusted with a child's Heart.

:

00:30:23,362 --> 00:30:26,512

This scripture saturated study

has blessed families around the

:

00:30:26,512 --> 00:30:28,192

world, and we want it for you too.

:

00:30:29,197 --> 00:30:33,367

Before you go, I want to pray this

benediction over you from Second

:

00:30:33,397 --> 00:30:36,097

Thessalonians one 11 through 12.

:

00:30:36,697 --> 00:30:40,207

We're rooting for you to this end.

:

00:30:40,267 --> 00:30:44,767

We always pray for you that our God

may make you worthy of his calling

:

00:30:45,187 --> 00:30:47,182

and fulfill every resolve for good.

:

00:30:47,962 --> 00:30:53,062

And every work of faith by his power

so that the name of our Lord Jesus

:

00:30:53,062 --> 00:30:57,622

may be glorified in you and you

and Him according to the grace of

:

00:30:57,622 --> 00:31:00,412

our God and the Lord Jesus Christ.

:

00:31:01,162 --> 00:31:01,732

Amen.

:

00:31:02,572 --> 00:31:03,362

Until we meet again.

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