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Nobody Asked Us to Review Muriel's Wedding (1994)
Episode 29 • 15th December 2025 • QUEERNECKS • Queernecks
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Beck and Dash discuss the 90s classic film 'Muriel's Wedding.' From its anti-heteronormative themes to its quirky characters, this episode dives deep into why this film resonates with audiences, especially within queer culture. Tune in for laughs, critical analysis, and personal anecdotes!

00:00 Welcome to Queernecks

00:18 Winter Woes and Space Heaters

00:37 Cleaning and Executive Dysfunction

02:07 Moving and Unpacking Struggles

03:19 Lost Belongings and Martial Arts Gear

04:17 The Oklahoma Girls Essay Controversy

06:01 Grading Woes and Student Negotiations

07:33 The Dreaded Blue Book Exams

09:20 Muriel's Wedding: An Introduction

11:30 Muriel's Character and Moral Relativism

12:44 Muriel's Wedding: Visual and Stylistic Analysis

20:18 Muriel's Journey and Rhonda's Influence

28:22 Muriel's Return and Family Dynamics

30:16 Muriel's New Life in Sydney

30:53 Muriel's First Sexual Experience

31:21 The Transformative Power of Friendship

31:45 Muriel's Obsession with Weddings

34:12 Rhonda's Illness and Hospitalization

36:37 Muriel's Secret Wedding Scrapbook

41:47 Muriel's Sham Marriage

47:52 Muriel's Mother's Death

48:41 Muriel's Realization and Growth

58:29 Final Thoughts and Reflections

Transcripts

Speaker:

Welcome to Queernecks, the podcast that puts the

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Yee Hall in y'all means hall.

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I'm your host, Beck,

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Speaker 2: and I'm your host.

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Dash.

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Welcome to today's episode.

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dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: I am

somewhere between hot and cold now

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because like when you put on a bunch

of layers to walk outside in 10 degree

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weather, you kind of like also are

gonna sweat if you walk very far

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beck_16_12-06-2025_122649:

Our heat won't kick on.

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So we are living in

space heaters right now.

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We have to have somebody

come in Monday and fix it.

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dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: Monday.

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beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Yeah.

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We have to clean the apartment

before we can allow somebody in, so,

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dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: Uh,

I actually, that's a big, chore

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for me this weekend as well.

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Just, it's, I'm feeling kind of like,

didn't anybody like your mom and

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your grandma give you that advice

of like, always wear clean underwear

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in case you're in a car accident?

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beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: yeah.

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Yeah.

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dash_16_12-06-2025_112649:

That's how I feel about my

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house going into this surgery.

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Like, what if something goes wrong

and somebody has to come in here?

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What will they think?

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beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Yeah,

Shanna, are both a, DHD, so we

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clean up on the weekends and through

the week it just gets trashed.

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just every shit everywhere.

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I use the back of the couch,

like my personal closet, and

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that doesn't help anything.

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dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: I've

got all of my like coats and, um,

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like overalls hanging on the, on a

door down here in the living room.

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You'll never guess what's behind the door.

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beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: What a closet.

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dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: Yeah.

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We're not messy because we're lazy.

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We have executive dysfunction,

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beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Amen to that.

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Amen to that.

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dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: like I'll walk

past the closet to hang my shit on a door.

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beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Yeah.

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My house isn't like dirty,

it's just cluttered.

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Our apartment is not big

enough for all of our stuff.

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And so there's not room for, there's

not, not everything has a place,

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and so where do you put that shit?

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It just ends up on the back of the couch,

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dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: I lived that

life for a very long time, and I always

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thought it was a space issue for me.

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But now I have a three story

house, and things are still in

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boxes, like from when I moved in.

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Granted I don't have shelving or

where else where am I gonna sit?

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This stuff that makes

any more sense to me.

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Who lives alone with

A DHD than in the box.

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It's already in, it's contained.

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I know which box has what in it.

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beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: right.

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We thought we were only gonna

be here for a year, so we never

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unpacked and we were the first

people to live in this apartment.

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So when we moved in, she was like,

I wouldn't even put stuff on the

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walls, the, the landlord lady.

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And I was like, okay.

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And so we haven't put anything on

the walls or we don't have, and

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when we downsized, we, we went from

having an, a full apartment full

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of stuff to one truckload because

we had to move it 250 miles away.

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And then we got a bunch of

my mom's crap added into it.

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Um, so we were up to a

bursting full truckload now.

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And so we put most of

that in our spare bedroom.

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and we've just been living the bare

bones life for the last year and a half.

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dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: Yeah, I

did intentionally get rid of a, just a

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whole shit load of my stuff when I left

Kentucky to save cost on the movers.

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beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Yeah, exactly.

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dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: and then

those movers lost a bunch of my shit.

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I'm still discovering things

that just never arrived here.

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beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Oh.

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dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: Yeah.

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All my martial arts gear, right?

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Like, that was probably mean.

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It could have been close to a

thousand dollars worth of gear

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if you like, put it all together

because the stuff, it really adds up.

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And even it's, it's not even

entirely about the money.

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You break that stuff in, you buy it

with the intention of keeping it forever

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beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Right.

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dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: and

replacing it is so annoying.

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You have to break it back in again.

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It hurts like hell for the first like

weeks that you wear it because it's,

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it's not comfortable to strap things to

yourself and then strike stuff with it.

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beck_16_12-06-2025_122649:

It's a lesbian in me.

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It's like, sorry.

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dash_16_12-06-2025_112649:

That's what he, she, they said

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all the genders.

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No, that, no, that pain.

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beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Oh, I got

around to reading the Oklahoma Girls

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essay and I would've failed her too.

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dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: Exactly.

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I actually saw a clip of, somebody asking

her that, uh, a reporter, like she was,

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she's been doing all this media stuff and

it's just a bad idea for her to, to do.

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I don't know who lied to her.

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Um, but they were like, and what do

you say to the people who, uh, have

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read your essay and point out that it

should have failed simply on merit?

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And she was like, well, I would

say that no, um, completed

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assignment deserves a zero.

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Like her.

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Apparently she's changing her argument

from, I should have received full points

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to, I should have received partial

points because I turned something in and.

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We know this argument well, right?

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Like, well, because it's, they start

there, they start like, I need an A.

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And you're like,

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like, are you gonna be

able to make it outta here?

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Dragging those brass balls behind you?

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Like, do I need to call somebody

to help you down the stairs?

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And then it's, well, okay, what about

a C then, because blah, blah, blah.

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And then, but then this one always got

me because, and it was re like many

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of them did it like every semester,,

anybody who found themselves having

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to start that negotiation wound up in

a place that never made any sense to

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me, which was, well, you can fail me.

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Just don't gimme a zero.

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and the first time it happened, I thought,

okay, maybe they've done the math and like

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they think that getting a 60 will keep

their grade in the class above failing,

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whereas a zero would drop them below.

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But I taught English.

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That does not apply.

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This is your grade.

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beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Right.

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dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: An F is an F.

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beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: My, my favorite

is, can I please do some extra credit?

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Shit, you didn't do the real credit.

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Like, why would I give you extra to do?

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Like, that's

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dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: Like

you have some backup syllabus

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just for the people who shit the

bed at the end of the semester.

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beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Um, I

had one this week saying, well, I

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can't be here during finals week.

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Can I take it Tuesday of this week?

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I was like, I have not even

written the damn thing yet.

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Like, what are you expecting

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dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: First

of all, I can't be here finals week

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beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Yeah,

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dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: we have,

we scheduled a, a retreat somewhere.

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We go into The Bahamas for

Manny Petties and my ties.

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beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: yeah.

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dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: What

if I can't be here finals week?

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What if I turned to you right

now and said, guys, I decided

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I can't be here finals week.

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Your paper's now due today.

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beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Their

papers were due last night, so I have

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70, well, probably about 60 essays

in my inbox waiting to be graded.

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dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: I saw

a TA on TikTok say he was just

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gonna stop assigning essays.

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'cause they're all ai.

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beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: I'm about.

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I'm about there.

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This is probably the

last semester I'll do it.

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dash_16_12-06-2025_112649:

Y'all gonna learn.

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It's gonna be test, it's gonna be paper

and pencil in class, just like I did.

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Like that was what finals were like when

I was in school as an English major.

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and it wasn't even just the English

classes, like, my philosophy

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courses, you walk in, they hand

you one of those blue books.

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You take your pencil and you sit down

and you write for two hours and turn

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in whatever it is gotta be in your head

and you gotta get it outta there, into

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that blue book in that two hour span.

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And if you don't, that

knowledge never existed.

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Right.

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beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: I

remembered the dreaded Blue book.

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I haven't had a single while

I've been at this university.

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I haven't had a single

Blue book exam in any way.

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but that was a grad school.

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I can't imagine them doing that.

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Well, I think they might do it

more during grad school actually.

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But we never had to deal with that.

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dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: No, I haven't

had a blue book since undergrad, but

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for my master's, we, our comprehensive,

um, you know, how their comps are,

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take home for the PhD program there

like you've, you've gotta, essentially,

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you've gotta write, is it three or four?

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I can't remember essays, 20 page

essays over a five day period.

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Right?

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You get the exam at, I think

it was, I think it goes live at

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10:00 AM on a Thursday and it's

due at:

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beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Monday.

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dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: Right?

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Yeah.

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and that was like, it was awful, but it

was also kind of exhilarating, right?

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You do it as a cohort, you're, you're

meeting up, like we were in a, me

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and Eric were working on ours, and

we were like losing our shit, right?

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It was like Saturday at noon and

we'd been at it for, 48 hours and

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we were like, oh my God, if I,

I'm gonna jump off of this roof.

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And, and so we were like, we're gonna walk

across the street to the stones throw.

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We're gonna take one shot of

tequila and we're gonna come

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back and finish this essay.

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And so, like you do things like

that, you call those audibles in the

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spur of the moment because you've

reached the end of your tether.,

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I, I know that, grad school is, contains

a lot of, what would you call the

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things like they, they make you do

just so that you have had to do them?

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beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: experiences.

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dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: yeah,

like rites of passage type.

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you've gotta do this.

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'cause I had to do things.

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Grad school is full of stuff like that.

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beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Yeah.

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, dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: But anyway,

now we are just perfectly positioned

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to, uh, review a movie that a lot

of people probably haven't seen.

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Do you know, do you know, like, have

all your friends seen Muriel's wedding?

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beck_16_12-06-2025_122649:

Um, I think most of them have,

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dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: Okay.

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beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: you

know, we were all friends in the

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nineties when we lived in the dorms

together and, and that kind of thing.

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Um, I don't know about my friends

that I've made from like grad

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school and stuff like that.

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It's, it's pretty kind of, it's

a kind of an obscure little

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dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: Mm-hmm.

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beck_16_12-06-2025_122649:

Um, but it's, it's great.

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dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: Won a ton of

awards though, and a lot of praise from

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critics of the day, which is unusual,

you know, because a lot of times what

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becomes the more enduring or cult,

um, classic type movies are sleepers,

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beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Right?

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dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: but everybody

was able to see what this one was doing.

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and I think it's because

it executed it so well.

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Like, it wasn't haphazard.

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It wasn't like, say, curse

of the queer wolf, right?

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Like he's just throwing shit at the

canvas and it's, it's all stuff he

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loves, but he's not super concerned with

whether we know what he's getting at.

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beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Right,

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dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: But but

the, the team, for Muriel, I just

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had this feeling that this was

all very thought out and curated.

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Because right away it's a

strong, visual composition.

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Like that opening scene.

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All, all the textures and colors

and the ways that Muriel is

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shown to be completely set apart.

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Like before anybody has set a word,

we know who Muriel is to her, to

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the, to the rest of those people.

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Did you notice like what,

what, um, her dress,

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beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Yeah,

because she, she was so different

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than everybody else that no

wonder the lady recognized her.

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The floor walker.

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dash_16_12-06-2025_112649:

she's, was it leopard print?

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beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Yeah.

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dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: She stole

a leopard print dress and wore it.

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Because they, when they asked the

loss prevention person, like, how

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did you know she was gonna be here?

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And she said, I didn't.

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I'm cousins with the groom.

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And he told me

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beck_16_12-06-2025_122649:

Muriel just has some bad luck.

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dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: well,

and, and I kept wondering about her

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too, because, you know, there's a

lot of overarching themes in this

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that, that I think we can identify.

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One of which is moral relativism.

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like, she, she stole the dress.

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Is that good or bad?

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Right?

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Like, are we, are we supposed to

make a moral judgment of her actions?

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beck_16_12-06-2025_122649:

Well, I think she's still a very

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sympathetic protagonist, even though

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dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: Mm-hmm.

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beck_16_12-06-2025_122649:

is a thief and a liar.

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You know, that's what

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you learn immediately about her

is that she's a thief and a liar,

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dash_16_12-06-2025_112649:

A thief and a liar.

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Yes.

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But for she's still somehow like guile

this, she's, she, the things that she

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lies about are to do with this one

preoccupation she has with weddings.

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and she's, got her, lippard print dress.

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Um, the bridesmaids were wearing,

were you dressed like them when

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you had to be a bridesmaid?

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Like, this made me think

of your Pepto gal Pink.

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beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Yeah,

it was, it was a lot like that.

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Um, mine, it was, it was satin with a

giant big bow on the, on the, on the belly

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dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: The, the

one, the one woman of the, when she

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walks away after an interaction,

um, I noticed that the, the shoulder

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pieces weren't actually touching.

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They were actually levitating

off of her shoulders.

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They were up by her ears,

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which is also it.

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You can't do that by accident.

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that's the thing I want to like, really

drive home to anybody who wants to

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like, think about film analysis or

something, is if you see something

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odd, remind yourself that somebody

had to make a series of intentional

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decisions to put that there, and that

that frees you up to ask to explore why

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they, what they might want you to know.

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They're trying to tell you something.

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But that dress that she had, first of all,

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beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Right,

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dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: my first

thought was like, I, I never would've

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known Tony Collette had it like that.

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Seen her in all kinds of things.

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Didn't know that those

babies were under there.

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Like she was giving Jennifer

Tilly a little bit for me,

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um, in that get up right.

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That it was sort of, it definitely didn't

fit her well, but like that didn't stop

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it from looking really good on her.

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beck_16_12-06-2025_122649:

Well, she was lying.

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It's another part of her lying,

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dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: Absolutely.

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beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: that she's not.

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like the, the wedding was a big lie.

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Like it's, she lies all through it.

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dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: Mm-hmm.

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And her hair, everyone else's hair

is kind of like, um, they, the, the

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bride and the bridesmaids and stuff,

they had a very, like symmetrical dew.

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Hers is in this incredible swoopy side

ponytail with a gigantic bungee, or

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scrunchie or whatever they call it.

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the dress itself, I don't know if I'd

call it a dress because it was, it was

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like a sort of an ill-fitting blazer over

some hot pants and, and like black leg.

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I just couldn't stop

taking in this vision.

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And in reality, the opening scene,

this wedding is, is a very brief one.

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She, clearly she wasn't a bridesmaid,

But she sees these folks as her friends.

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The, we see the, the newlywed husband

groom making eyes with, I, I did not

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catch the, the, the side characters

names, but one of the bridesmaids.

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beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: right.

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dash_16_12-06-2025_112649:

And then we follow Muriel.

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They go off, we follow Muriel through

this, um, kind of hectic house scene.

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We meet her dad and he's got

something wrong with his nose.

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And then she sees Chook,

which is the groom's nickname.

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I hope, to God's sake, that's a nickname.

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And this bridesmaid fucking.

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He's cheating on his wedding day.

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beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Right.

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dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: So right

away we're getting the movie's

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telling us what it thinks of weddings.

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And I think that's one way that

we, that we are, are told that

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it doesn't matter that Muriel

stole his dress and lied about it.

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Because what's going on around her is

like, if we compare these two lies, these

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two transgressions, fucking somebody

else on your wedding day at the reception

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or stealing a dress or borrowing it

or whatever she was planning to do

325

:

with it, Muriel understands something

innately that a lot of people struggle

326

:

with, which is that weddings don't have

anything to do with love and they don't

327

:

have anything to do with marriage.

328

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Right.

329

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: So then

what, what we're gonna explore for

330

:

the rest of the film is what do

weddings mean to Muriel and why?

331

:

I can't believe I've never seen this.

332

:

I'm so glad that you told me about this.

333

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649:

I'm glad you liked it.

334

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: it's

also broken up into subheadings.

335

:

So the, it's, it's the opening.

336

:

We get the subheading, the bouquet,

337

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Right.

338

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649:

because Muriel catches the bouquet

339

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649:

and that's funny.

340

:

They're like, you shouldn't have that.

341

:

Throw it again.

342

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: throw it again.

343

:

And then the person who wanted it,

she throws it to her and then she

344

:

freaks out because she's single.

345

:

Viol is like, I did what you

wanted and you're still not happy.

346

:

we see, uh, we go home to Muriel's

house, which described this for the

347

:

view for the viewers, for the listeners.

348

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: It's,

I think it's just a middle class.

349

:

It reminded me of like the Roseanne house.

350

:

It's very middle class, very, the

all green furniture and, and, and the

351

:

living room and the, um, the TV's all

about and the, the tiny little kitchen.

352

:

Um, it was just a, a very middle class,

middle to low income kind of house.

353

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: mm-hmm.

354

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: they had the

lying out back and all that and, you

355

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: Right.

356

:

The, the big aerial style, like crisscross

washing line, very unkempt yard.

357

:

the mom is like in her house coat.

358

:

Kids.

359

:

Did these kids strike you as greasy?

360

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Yes.

361

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649:

It looked filthy.

362

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: At least I

read something that it said at least,

363

:

uh, Muriel had the, the wherewithal

to fail out of secretarial school.

364

:

The others were just

sitting around, you know.

365

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: And,

and, and her hair was clean, right?

366

:

Like she never looked as

nasty as her siblings did.

367

:

Another thing that is very

apparent is like, this is a

368

:

very, very Australian film.

369

:

at the time, Especially in the nineties,

Australian cinema had very distinct,

370

:

styles, techniques that they used.

371

:

This is the same production

studio that made Mad Max.

372

:

one thing they Australian cinema will

do, and George Miller, if you're familiar

373

:

with Mad Max does this is the frame rate.

374

:

He'll play with the frame rate.

375

:

So traditionally we shoot

at 24 frames per second.

376

:

. So they'll, switch back and forth between

48 FPS and 24 FPS to create different,

377

:

pacing and, and tensions in scenes.

378

:

So sometimes you'll notice like when

someone's really upset, the bridesmaids

379

:

are talking really fast, they're

really upset that shot at a different

380

:

frame rate, and we're perceiving it

at a different level of intensity.

381

:

I, so, I don't know, I don't have

an answer in mind for this question,

382

:

but I thought I would ask you, what,

what do you think the ABBA thing is?

383

:

The thing with Abba,

384

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: I think

it's a young girl obsession, right?

385

:

Like you, when I think when we were

younger, um, you thought of movie stars

386

:

as having these, you know, crazy lives

that were, uh, really great all the time.

387

:

And, you know, nothing

bad ever happened to them.

388

:

Um, it was always, you know, a good time.

389

:

And I think that that's something

that you wanna buy into, especially

390

:

when you have as much hardship

as, as, as Muriel does, right?

391

:

You want to be able to escape to

a fantasy land where none of this

392

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: I.

393

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649:

is happening to you.

394

:

And I think that was a big part of it.

395

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: And Abba

is so happy and o other worldly.

396

:

Um, I read in the production notes

that they were so dead set on it

397

:

being Abba, but Abba was sort of

like, we don't really do that.

398

:

They were holding out, uh, that

the rights weren't even secured

399

:

until two weeks before they

started like principal photography.

400

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Oh wow.

401

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: So

they were like gambling big.

402

:

So it was very important to

them clearly that it was Abba.

403

:

What do you think happens if, if

Abba is removed from this film?

404

:

Like, let's say Journey or

Foreigner or somebody else.

405

:

I just don't see it working

as well as Abba did.

406

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Well, I

think of that scene when they're in the

407

:

tropical island at the very beginning,

her and Rhonda, where they do the um,

408

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: Waterloo.

409

:

Yeah.

410

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Um, I think

that sets a, a lot of the character tone.

411

:

I think that's why we love her so

much, um, because we, we appreciate

412

:

all of her faults and we still

care for her as a character.

413

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: Yeah.

414

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: I think that

it has to do with the, the upbeat, never

415

:

tired, never giving up kind of attitude

that she has 'cause she never gives up.

416

:

And

417

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: Mm-hmm.

418

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: kind of, kind

of thing faces her, she never gives up.

419

:

She, she might not find a, a

respectable way to get out of a

420

:

situation, but she gets out of them,

421

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: Yeah.

422

:

She keeps working the problem.

423

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Yeah.

424

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: and that,

that's in a very important moment.

425

:

Um, 'cause.

426

:

Right before the, the getaway.

427

:

Muriel goes to a little club

and meets the other girls there.

428

:

And the one that got married to

Chuck is crying, upset, saying she's

429

:

found out that he's cheating on her

while the woman that he's cheating

430

:

on her with is sitting there.

431

:

Muriel knows this.

432

:

and this whole breakdown occurs.

433

:

They get really mean to her.

434

:

They say they're going away, and she

goes, what holiday are you talking about?

435

:

And they're like, oh, um, well, maybe

now's a good time to tell you that we

436

:

don't wanna be friends with you anymore.

437

:

they break her heart.

438

:

They, they're so mean to her.

439

:

They're like, you're embarrassing to us.

440

:

What else did I say

441

:

oh, it's something about like her style.

442

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649:

Don't they call her a fat lump?

443

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: Yeah.

444

:

Yeah.

445

:

Which is just kind of a mean attack.

446

:

But there's something about like,

they're like, we like cool things

447

:

and you don't like cool things.

448

:

They say, we listen to Nirvana

and you listen to abba.

449

:

and she is dissolving into like

hysteric sob sobs and stuff, and

450

:

they just keep going and they're

like, you're even embarrassing

451

:

us right now, and stop crying.

452

:

And throughout all this, she didn't

tell on the girl who was cheating.

453

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Right.

454

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: and she

was sitting right next to her I

455

:

knew that that was what was kind

of, um, pregnant in that scene.

456

:

I was like, okay, we're gonna find out

something really important about Muriel.

457

:

Is she going to sink to the level

and spill the beans on this thing?

458

:

That's not her business.

459

:

Because if she were to do that,

it would only be outta meanness.

460

:

I've known people who've done that.

461

:

Like, oh, your exes or your such

and such is cheating on you, and

462

:

I just care so much about you

that I had to tell you about it.

463

:

No, that's not why you did that.

464

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Yeah.

465

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649:

Because Muriel like you would not

466

:

piss on her if she was on fire,

467

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Right,

468

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649:

so you're not her friend.

469

:

So if she were to do that, it

wouldn't be because she cares

470

:

about you and you care about her.

471

:

It would be outta meanness.

472

:

And so of course she didn't do it because

muriel's not mean she's not like them.

473

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: right.

474

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649:

Such a cool scene.

475

:

But she kind of stalks them.

476

:

She follows them on the, on the trip.

477

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Well,

Rhonda's the one that tells her

478

:

about the cheating AB eventually.

479

:

Right.

480

:

And she does

481

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: Yeah,

482

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: meanness.

483

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: Rhonda does.

484

:

And so.

485

:

And one of the things they say

when they're breaking up with

486

:

Muriel, these mean girls, is

you gotta, you are too weird.

487

:

You have to go find

people that are like you.

488

:

You gotta go find your weirdo and

as horrible as a of a thing as

489

:

that is to say they were right.

490

:

what was Muriel really getting out

of hanging around these mean girls?

491

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Right,

492

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: No one

has ever been kind to Muriel though,

493

:

so she didn't know the difference.

494

:

But then she does, like she self

finances a trip to the resort

495

:

they go to and follows them there.

496

:

And that's how she meets Rhonda

who just changes her world.

497

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Right.

498

:

Rhonda is one of my favorite characters.

499

:

she's pretty badass.

500

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: She is.

501

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: she's very

sexually fluent and, and forthcoming, you

502

:

know, um, she likes to have a good time.

503

:

She does not give a a shit

about telling somebody all about

504

:

themselves right to their face.

505

:

Um, she stands up for herself and

her friends, um, and she does what?

506

:

She's like the, the moral compass

throughout the, the end of the movie.

507

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: She's

a perfect foil to, um, to Muriel.

508

:

And I think it was a really savvy way to

do this because a lot of times people will

509

:

think a foil has to be the antagonist.

510

:

They have to be enemies,

they have to be at odds.

511

:

That's not true.

512

:

Two friends can be, like

opposites can attract or whatever.

513

:

So Rhonda and Muriel have some core

things in common, some very important

514

:

core things in common, but in a

lot of ways they couldn't be more

515

:

different can you believe that this

is Rachel Griffith's first movie?

516

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Which

one Is that Is that Rhonda?

517

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: Mm-hmm.

518

:

First acting like she didn't even do

like commercials, tv, step up type thing.

519

:

Like

520

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Wow.

521

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: she

absolutely knocked it outta the park.

522

:

Like whoever that casting director was

just, they knew and they were correct.

523

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: There was

one scene where, um, the, the sailors

524

:

have come back to her house and they're

having the sex and she's there with

525

:

her little boyfriend or whatever, where

he unzips the, the beanbag instead.

526

:

Um, and the, she starts screaming and they

come out and they're like bending over.

527

:

Like there was one, one little brief

scene where she looks at his penis

528

:

and has a very strong reaction to it.

529

:

That had to have been real, like they,

that had to have been a real reaction.

530

:

It was too genuine, too

531

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: And she

dissolved into giggles on this like

532

:

disintegrating cow print beanbag chair.

533

:

The styling of this movie is so perfect.

534

:

But we, we find out how, like Muriel

has financed this trip to where did

535

:

they, I I know they must have given

us the name of this resort, but

536

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: It

537

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: I don't really,

538

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: never heard of.

539

:

Yeah.

540

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: no, I don't

really care enough to look it up.

541

:

But, her dad gave her mom a blank

check to give her to do something.

542

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649:

To buy, makeup to sell

543

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: She

was supposed to be, that's right.

544

:

She was supposed to be

working for Deirdre Chambers,

545

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Yeah,

546

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: who they

keep running into everywhere and it

547

:

becomes apparent that Muriel's dad

is having an affair with this woman.

548

:

so instead of doing that to become an

Avon sales lady, or whatever it is, dere

549

:

does, she spends $12,000 on this trip.

550

:

I was gagged.

551

:

I was like, oh, that's

different than stealing a dress.

552

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: exactly.

553

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: So because of

that, she has kind of a rough coming home.

554

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: yeah.

555

:

but it, it's still her theme of lying,

you know, it's just another way that

556

:

she, that she is a thief and a liar.

557

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: Yeah.

558

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: think

that's just a re recurring motif

559

:

through the, through the film.

560

:

And we still like her.

561

:

We still like her.

562

:

We're still sym sympathetic to her as a

character, even though she continually

563

:

lies, continually does, you know, what

I think are bad things, but in, you

564

:

know, she's not murdering anyone or

killing anyone, but, you know, stealing

565

:

money from your parents isn't, you

566

:

know, great.

567

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: Yeah.

568

:

And she does eventually pay part

of it back, but not all of it.

569

:

And, and by that time a lot

of damage has been done.

570

:

But it kind of, I, I a I ask myself

a lot of questions about like why

571

:

they might do that, why it's fun

to have a flawed protagonist, but

572

:

that those are some serious flaws.

573

:

And it, kind of got me thinking like

the people I love most dearly in my

574

:

life have made a lot of mistakes.

575

:

We've all made a lot of mistakes.

576

:

And I've thought about this a lot lately

with like, the rise of internet culture

577

:

and cancel culture and stuff like that.

578

:

Like we don't really allow

people the space to grow.

579

:

if the stuff I did in my twenties

was documented on TikTok, I.

580

:

I don't think I would recover from it.

581

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Right,

582

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: and, uh,

that would not have given me the

583

:

opportunity to learn from those mistakes.

584

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: right.

585

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: So, you

know, at the time, this was shot

586

:

in 1994 in BFE Australia, right?

587

:

They are not, they're, they're

in, it's a, it's a fictional town.

588

:

Pit.

589

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: por.

590

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649:

Uh, it's genius.

591

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649:

The jewel of the coast.

592

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: yeah, It

reminds me of that, quote from, the

593

:

Dark Knight from Heath Ledger that

gets, used outta context, uh, way

594

:

too much about how we're totally

fine with some terrible behaviors.

595

:

As long as they make sense, as long as

they're part of the plan, they're a part

596

:

of a narrative that we participate in.

597

:

and so the infidelity and the cheating

and the, um, horrible things that happen

598

:

to people in, romantic relationships,

we can make those make sense.

599

:

But something like stealing $12,000,

when, let's be honest, she really

600

:

didn't seem to know any better.

601

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: and stuff.

602

:

It's kinda like the family business

603

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: right,

604

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649:

or lying and thieving.

605

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: we

have to do a lot to excuse the

606

:

behavior of shitty straight people

in the institution of marriage.

607

:

And so we've, we've done that, but we

haven't done that around a, a young

608

:

single traumatized woman who is trying

like hell to find something for herself.

609

:

Why would we ever put any

effort into making that

610

:

narrative, have loopholes in it.

611

:

so she comes back and everyone is, uh,

612

:

You're terrible, Muriel.

613

:

yeah.

614

:

She walks in, sets her bags down

and gets read to filth by her

615

:

mom, picks the bag up and leaves.

616

:

I.

617

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: I

felt a lot of things for her mom.

618

:

I felt bad for her.

619

:

I felt sympathetic to her.

620

:

I felt pain for her.

621

:

And then when she just dies, it just, I

don't know, every time my mother dies,

622

:

I have a sympathetic reaction to that.

623

:

'cause, you

624

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: Yeah.

625

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649:

I've gone through it.

626

:

Um,

627

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: Well,

and, and she doesn't just die.

628

:

she is, is gobbled up by an

institution that is set against

629

:

her, like the institution of Mar.

630

:

Like they could not have made it

any more clear that the institution

631

:

of marriage destroys women.

632

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: yeah.

633

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: the

traditional, like provincial marriage

634

:

is like we, we only ever see her.

635

:

She's dissociating, she's fully full

on dissociating in most of the scenes.

636

:

She's in.

637

:

There's one scene where

she actually comes alive.

638

:

I think it's at the dinner table,

in that Chinese restaurant.

639

:

And Muriel says something like, she got a

job interview and Betty like, snaps too.

640

:

She, her face lights up.

641

:

She starts asking questions

about the job interview.

642

:

we're given that scene, I

think for a lot of reasons.

643

:

One, to show that Betty is not,

um, that this has been done to her.

644

:

She's not lacking an interest in her

family and, and, and things like that.

645

:

Like she's not completely gone inside.

646

:

She's just had to shut down.

647

:

And also, she's still a good mother.

648

:

She's still very interested in

her children and their wellness.

649

:

There's a couple of

times when she does that,

650

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: she's

the only one that didn't make direct

651

:

choices to end up where she ended up.

652

:

She didn't have any control over it.

653

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: right?

654

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649:

else made a lot of choices.

655

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: That's right.

656

:

And she represents a generation

that did not have any choices.

657

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Yeah,

658

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: so

because of this, I think Muriel,

659

:

she, she runs off to Sydney.

660

:

She winds up in Sydney, and we

find out that she is living in an

661

:

apartment with Rhonda, working at

a video store called Video Drama.

662

:

she's sitting there watching

She'll, she'll put in movies

663

:

that have weddings in them.

664

:

Fast forward to the wedding

and then just watch that.

665

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649:

I didn't catch that.

666

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649:

It's pretty funny.

667

:

Um, and she, I think she was

watching Princess D's wedding too.

668

:

She had that, like the news coverage

of her in the carriage and she would

669

:

just wind it back and watch her

getting outta the carriage a lot.

670

:

and that's how she meets Bryce,

671

:

who I really, I didn't know

what was coming with Bryce.

672

:

did you have a feeling about what

his role in Muriel's story is?

673

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Well, I think

it's her first sexual exploit, you know,

674

:

the first time that she has any kind of,

that kind of connection with somebody.

675

:

so I think he was just

an experience for her.

676

:

a big one.

677

:

Right.

678

:

But an experience nonetheless.

679

:

I

680

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: Yeah,

681

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649:

her mature a little.

682

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: yeah, yeah.

683

:

He definitely facilitates, um, some

story beats and some growth moments

684

:

for her, but he's not a plot device.

685

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Right?

686

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: Um,

687

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649:

movie was not about revenge.

688

:

The overall, the over the, the

transformative power of friendship was

689

:

really the, the overarching message at the

690

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649:

yeah, that gets, that's one

691

:

of my favorite kinds of story.

692

:

I absolutely love stories

about friendships.

693

:

but poor Bryce, like he's

not on her wavelength.

694

:

Nobody's on her wavelength she can't tell

the truth about what her obsession is.

695

:

She does seem to know, well, she certainly

seems, she, she certainly knows that it's

696

:

not something she can talk openly about,

like people know she really likes weddings

697

:

and things, especially back in porus bit.

698

:

They know her family knows about

her obsession with weddings,

699

:

but she's hiding it from Rhonda,

which I thought was kind of sad.

700

:

So that she goes out on a date with Bryce.

701

:

One date with poor Bryce.

702

:

but they have a lot of chemistry and

they have a lot of tolerance for each

703

:

other, though they're both pretty weird.

704

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Right.

705

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: And, uh, she

brings him home and there's no furniture.

706

:

So they squeeze into this beanbag chair

and they start making out, and it's

707

:

clear they have an actual connection.

708

:

They're clearly, they really

are attracted to each other.

709

:

All of the weird escapades with

unzipping, the beanbag and he has trouble

710

:

unbuckling her out of this wild, almost

BDSM get up, she's worn to the club.

711

:

all kinds of stuff that an American

movie might play for semi misogynistic

712

:

laughs but it just kind of endears us

to their pairing a little bit more,

713

:

which ultimately makes it even sadder

714

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Yeah.

715

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: when they don't

get together because, What she wants.

716

:

She, she's not even focused on love.

717

:

She's thought right past what it might

mean to be loved by somebody because

718

:

she's never been treated well before.

719

:

She understands weddings as adjacent

to love, and that's why she's upset.

720

:

I'm gonna armchair psychologist right now.

721

:

Okay.

722

:

She, she understands weddings as adjacent

to what people mean when they say love.

723

:

And so she wants that, but that's

as close as she can get to knowing,

724

:

fully understanding what the

experience of being loved might be.

725

:

And I think Bryce could

have loved her in my mind.

726

:

Maybe they got together later, who knows.

727

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Yeah.

728

:

I don't think she was ready for it though.

729

:

Sometimes you're just not ready for a

730

:

person when they show up in your life.

731

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: Right.

732

:

Because like you said, her experience was

so minimal in the whole arena of dating.

733

:

I mean, this was kind of always gonna

be muriel's trajectory and honestly,

734

:

it wasn't as bad as it could have been.

735

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Yeah, for sure.

736

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: But in

this, like, um, you know, the two

737

:

sailors that Rhonda has brought back

home think that Bryce is attacking

738

:

her and Muriel is so, dissolved into

hysterical giggles at the whole affair,

739

:

which I had to personally so relatable.

740

:

Uh, so she's not able to explain

that he wasn't attacking her.

741

:

And so they fully naked, full frontal

naked begin to like restrain Bryce and

742

:

Rhonda comes out and is freaking out.

743

:

I did not see this coming.

744

:

Do you remember the

first time you saw this?

745

:

Did you see this coming with Rhonda's

injury or whatever her illness?

746

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: I, I saw

it when I was six or when I was 18.

747

:

It was my freshman year of college,

so I don't remember exactly what

748

:

I thought, but, um, I did, I

remember it being surprising that

749

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: Yeah.

750

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: would be

a turn the way the movie would go.

751

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: I did

not know we were going there.

752

:

Rhonda, falls stumbles slash uh, against.

753

:

The wall and falls to the floor and, um,

tells Muriel that she can't feel her legs.

754

:

And so we cut to a hospital scene

where a doctor is explaining that

755

:

she's got, cancer on her spine.

756

:

And she says, could it

be from too much sex?

757

:

Which I thought the doctor

actually handled really well.

758

:

He didn't shame her at all.

759

:

He was like, no, no, no, no, no.

760

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: right.

761

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649:

We don't know what causes it.

762

:

But this changes things

for Muriel and Rhonda.

763

:

Like it's, this is a new

moment in their relationship.

764

:

In their friendship.

765

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: It

takes it to a deeper level, not

766

:

just surface boys and, and drama.

767

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: That's right.

768

:

Yeah.

769

:

They've got a, they have to

face something real together

770

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Yeah.

771

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: and.

772

:

I was again, just really pleased to see

that Muriel was absolutely okay with it.

773

:

She was reassuring Rhonda.

774

:

She was like, I don't, Rhonda was

understandably, after they did the surgery

775

:

to remove it, she's trying to learn to

walk again and she's extremely upset.

776

:

She's frustrated, she's embarrassed, I'm

sure, and tells Muriel to, to leave her,

777

:

to go away and leave her alone because I

don't know, one of the, some of the, a lot

778

:

of the, those things that we tell people

when we're really just lashing out, like,

779

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Platitudes.

780

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: you hate

to see me like this and you don't

781

:

deserve this, and things like that.

782

:

And Muriel was like, what the

fuck are you talking about?

783

:

Like, the only difference between

yesterday and today is that

784

:

you're yelling at me right now,

785

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Right, so

786

:

she did know how to be a good friend.

787

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: she did.

788

:

It turns out that, that she has love

to give and that she, she can be.

789

:

relied on what an interesting

thing to learn about someone like

790

:

Muriel, who up until now, we really

didn't know if she had that gear.

791

:

so I really loved that scene,

792

:

Rhonda though is still like, she, I

think probably because of Muriel's

793

:

support, not feeling bad about herself.

794

:

She's not, you know, she's not giving

up and she's going to her therapy

795

:

and a cute guy shows up to take her

to her, um, therapy appointment and

796

:

she's looking for her cigarettes

and she finds Muriel's book.

797

:

which is, we didn't even really talk

about this, but Uriel has a secret, which

798

:

is that she is systematically going to

every wedding shop in Sydney, spinning

799

:

some yarn to the girls in there about how

she's got a, she's about to be married,

800

:

trying on a dress and all the accessories

and things, and then explaining that

801

:

she needs to take pictures for her sick

mother or sister who can't be there.

802

:

And then, uh, making a

scrapbook of those pictures.

803

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Yeah.

804

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: So let's

talk about like, I mean, I don't know.

805

:

I mean, if, if I found out someone was

doing something like that, I don't think

806

:

I would feel the same way that Rhonda did.

807

:

Although we, I, we can't blame

Rhonda for reacting any kind of

808

:

way because of the situation.

809

:

She's, she's under a lot of stress,

810

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Yeah.

811

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: but

she kind of gets angry at Muriel.

812

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Well,

I, I, I felt more bad for her.

813

:

Like, you know, you want something so

badly and you can't have it, that you're

814

:

to this point of obsession with it.

815

:

Um, 'cause that's when it's

cutting into your real life.

816

:

That takes time to do that.

817

:

You know?

818

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649:

She's taking time off work.

819

:

She's closing down the video store,

820

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Yeah.

821

:

Um, it's an investment, just

as much as anything else.

822

:

And to keep it to yourself like that

because, you know, it's crazy, you know.

823

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: or is it,

you know, I mean, that's another, I

824

:

mean, it's more of her lying, right?

825

:

She's not stealing anymore.

826

:

She's not bringing the dresses home,

but she's stealing the labor of these

827

:

people, um, who spend a day with her

or at least hours dressing her up.

828

:

So it's, it's just, it's just

a continuation of the same

829

:

things that she's been doing.

830

:

But there, the, the guilt of it that she's

experiencing or clearly experiencing,

831

:

that has to be compounding in some way.

832

:

Yeah.

833

:

And it made me think of something we

talk about in my, my therapy school

834

:

of like, if you, if you feel a certain

way about yourself or something you're

835

:

dealing with, try to step outside

yourself and ask, ask, like, if I saw

836

:

somebody else dealing with that, would

I be talking to them the same way?

837

:

I mean, I'm talking to myself about it.

838

:

There was an opportunity, there was a

moment in time where Muriel maybe could

839

:

have shared this obsession with Rhonda and

had a different kind of experience around

840

:

exploring it or dealing with it or finding

out what it might be pointing to in her.

841

:

But she didn't because

she was ashamed of it.

842

:

she somehow, Rhonda just drives past where

Muriel is and confronts her about it.

843

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Right.

844

:

She happens to see you're

in the shop doing it.

845

:

Little film, little Liberty taken there.

846

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649:

Yeah, Sydney's a big place.

847

:

Y'all

848

:

and the Muriel has this breakdown.

849

:

Oh, hasn't she started going

by Mario at this point?

850

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Yeah.

851

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: Yeah.

852

:

The timeline on that.

853

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: yeah, when she

goes to Sydney is when she changes it.

854

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: Yeah.

855

:

And it's, and that, that's a kind of a

moment where the movie draws a parallel

856

:

to, or gives, tells us a little bit more

about why she's so obsessed with weddings.

857

:

Because she sees them as a rebirth.

858

:

She sees, this ritual as a way to become

someone that she doesn't hate as much as

859

:

she hates the current version of herself,

860

:

I mean, like to bring something that

heavy and real into a movie like Muriel's

861

:

Wedding, a movie like the one we've been

experiencing up until now, both, um,

862

:

Rhonda's illness and Muriel's breakdown

and, and her insights into kind of why

863

:

she hates or that she hates herself.

864

:

I was so shocked that it worked,

that they were able to do that.

865

:

And it didn't break the movie.

866

:

It didn't, it didn't, I don't

like, kind of break our trust

867

:

in the world building at all.

868

:

It, it felt really earned

869

:

with that, with m in that moment, , The

moment where she realizes that like she.

870

:

This really has gone kind of far and

whatever is inside it is unhealthy.

871

:

And she says like, I hate myself.

872

:

Like I, I want to be different

because I hate the way I am.

873

:

And I was just like,

good God, this poor baby.

874

:

And Rhonda's still angry with her.

875

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: I think that

Rhonda just felt like she was being lied

876

:

to because she was lying by admission,

877

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: Mm-hmm.

878

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: by not, by not

saying that she was doing these things,

879

:

or even talking about, like I said, it

is an, it's an investment of your time

880

:

and your energy and your resources,

and she's totally keeping it from her.

881

:

And they were supposed to, be

sharing everything, you know,

882

:

so I, I kind of,

883

:

get it.

884

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: the amount of

things that Rhonda has had to let go in

885

:

terms of her barriers or her boundaries.

886

:

She doesn't get to have

any boundaries with Muriel.

887

:

Muriel has to help her

shit and shower and stuff.

888

:

an immense amount of trust goes

into allowing someone to care

889

:

for you and to find out that that

trust has not been reciprocated.

890

:

yeah, that would hurt and

it would be embarrassing.

891

:

I think that would be, I think that

was one reason why she was angry

892

:

was to find out that she was not

experiencing the closeness that she

893

:

thought she was with this friend.

894

:

Yeah, I could see that definitely hurting.

895

:

I'm, I am drawing a blank.

896

:

Where do we go next after that?

897

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: I think

that's when she goes into the personal

898

:

ads and finds the, the swimmer.

899

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: Right.

900

:

Yeah.

901

:

She's, she's looking at this men magazine

and sees an ad for, I think it was simply,

902

:

it was basically, this is how, not how

it was worded, but what, what I gleaned

903

:

was like young woman with pulse needed.

904

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: And,

and passport and citizenship,

905

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: Yeah.

906

:

Which is crazy to advertise in a paper.

907

:

I don't know how Australia deals

with their immigration fraud schemes,

908

:

but can you imagine doing that here?

909

:

she shows up to this, this natatorium

and meets, uh, south African

910

:

swimmer has the wildest interaction

with the coach and the swimmer.

911

:

Like I, I loved the way they did

this, but I was so uncomfortable.

912

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Yeah,

because more lying and scheming,

913

:

you know, and she's just taking

part in it like it's anything else.

914

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: She was,

I, she was like turned on by it.

915

:

She loved the lying and scheming.

916

:

Um,

917

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: she loved

the being married part, I think.

918

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: right.

919

:

Like, oh my God, you mean somebody

else is out here scheming for marriage?

920

:

Like she, she had found her fellow

weirdo, but he was revolted by her.

921

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Yeah,

922

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: The

way Tony Colette played it.

923

:

Um, and the way it was written and

shown to us, it wasn't about her

924

:

looks or anything like that, it

was about her unhinged behavior.

925

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: right.

926

:

But

927

:

he comes around.

928

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: they

have the sweetest little arc.

929

:

And I, I wanted to bring this up.

930

:

So like they.

931

:

They arrange it, you know?

932

:

Um, and she is like,

just can't stop giggling.

933

:

she's making this really

unhinged face that only to,

934

:

uh, Tony Collette could make.

935

:

She kept sticking her tongue out at him.

936

:

Did you notice that

937

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: No.

938

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649:

multiple times she went like that?

939

:

It's weird.

940

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: She was

just anticipating selfie culture.

941

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: Maybe.

942

:

Yeah.

943

:

I, I, what I saw it as is like she just

could not keep her excitement inside.

944

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Right,

945

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: Also,

she, it was a little bit like a wink.

946

:

And so that's what makes me think

that like she was seeing this as like,

947

:

we're on the same wavelength here.

948

:

You've got the same fetish

for weddings that I've got.

949

:

Here we are.

950

:

and it's supposed to be some like

stand in front of the magistrate

951

:

and sign papers, but no, Muriel

is gonna get her fucking wedding

952

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: right.

953

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649:

and I love this for her.

954

:

She just had her day.

955

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: I think

my favorite part of the whole wedding

956

:

is when they're leaving and one, the

bridesmaid, the bridesmaid that, that

957

:

had gotten married at the very beginning

of the field, she says, I'm beautiful.

958

:

And she makes the ugliest possible face.

959

:

I think that was a really good,

960

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: the framing

on that, that's, that's a great example

961

:

of that Australian cinema style.

962

:

Um, it, it was, that was perfect.

963

:

But yeah, those girls stay,

um, because of the marriage.

964

:

Muriel becomes famous.

965

:

Tabloid famous, but you know, she sees it

as fame and she was like, look at me now.

966

:

And it's like, you, you

really think this is great?

967

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Yeah.

968

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: again,

she's got nothing to compare it to.

969

:

I.

970

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: it's kind of

a weird from, from a personal standpoint,

971

:

because married to a, a gay man and we

had no physical relationship whatsoever.

972

:

It was a hundred percent a scam.

973

:

a weird place within that

relationship paradigm.

974

:

Like my ex-husband bought me a, a

wife Valentine's Day card one time,

975

:

um, because I was his wife and, you

know, but there, and then I took

976

:

his name and that became a thing.

977

:

and it's just a really weird relationship

when you're, when you're doing

978

:

a, a lie with somebody like that.

979

:

It's a weird,

980

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: Yeah.

981

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649:

relationship place to be in.

982

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: Well, and

I'm glad you brought that up because one

983

:

question, one, not question I had, because

I do think I have my own opinion about

984

:

this, but mu, this film is considered,

often considered a, a kind of a queer.

985

:

Story, um, uh, like you'll see this, um,

alongside other, queer films that don't

986

:

actually have queer characters in them,

that, that are considered influential.

987

:

Another, an American example would

be something like Death Becomes Her,

988

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Right.

989

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: like things

that had a big impact on queer culture,

990

:

but did not have queer characters.

991

:

I, I would definitely put this one

in here for a number of reasons,

992

:

but that's a great one right there.

993

:

What you just articulated, it's like this

film is an attack on heteronormativity

994

:

beck_16_12-06-2025_122649: Right,

995

:

dash_16_12-06-2025_112649: because of

the things we've been talking about.

996

:

Muriel understands that weddings

do not equal love, do not equal

997

:

happy marriage, do not equal even.

998

:

They are literally just,

anti-woman capitalist schemes.

999

:

At their core.

:

00:46:29,207 --> 00:46:32,537

That is not to say that a wedding

can't be a great moment for two

:

00:46:32,537 --> 00:46:33,707

people who do love each other.

:

00:46:33,857 --> 00:46:36,287

It's not to say that people shouldn't

have weddings or get married

:

00:46:36,287 --> 00:46:41,736

for that matter, but they're as

often a tool as they are a toy.

:

00:46:42,336 --> 00:46:42,726

-:

:

00:46:42,726 --> 00:46:44,046

-:

and queer people know that.

:

00:46:44,256 --> 00:46:46,656

They know that, that that story.

:

00:46:47,050 --> 00:46:51,370

And in a lot of ways, the way Muriel

approaches weddings is very queer.

:

00:46:51,400 --> 00:46:54,770

and, . Something doesn't have to be

queer, to not be heteronormative.

:

00:46:55,670 --> 00:46:56,870

I wanna make this very clear.

:

00:46:57,140 --> 00:46:58,190

Straight people.

:

00:46:58,730 --> 00:47:03,620

Cis people perfectly capable of

not perpetuating heteronormativity

:

00:47:03,620 --> 00:47:04,880

and hetero essentialism.

:

00:47:05,210 --> 00:47:09,290

And so this is a really great tool or

just something interesting to show those

:

00:47:09,290 --> 00:47:14,086

people to show like straight people, she

interacts with her father at this point.

:

00:47:14,086 --> 00:47:17,176

And, and it's so hard

for me to say Deirdre.

:

00:47:17,476 --> 00:47:19,456

I know that's what they say,

but I'm just gonna say Deirdre.

:

00:47:20,133 --> 00:47:22,593

she just point blank says

like, are you leaving mom?

:

00:47:23,223 --> 00:47:25,653

And are you with Deirdre now?

:

00:47:26,433 --> 00:47:28,023

And so they say Yes.

:

00:47:28,424 --> 00:47:31,304

and so her mom gets kind

of iced out of the wedding.

:

00:47:31,784 --> 00:47:32,174

-:

:

00:47:32,894 --> 00:47:34,814

-:

She, she arrives late.

:

00:47:35,024 --> 00:47:36,344

Muriel doesn't notice her.

:

00:47:37,184 --> 00:47:40,664

She's tried to do all, she's genuinely

excited for Muriel and she doesn't

:

00:47:40,664 --> 00:47:42,614

get to share the day with her.

:

00:47:42,854 --> 00:47:44,534

And it kind of breaks her heart.

:

00:47:45,584 --> 00:47:50,474

And then, um, her dad decide, takes

that moment, I guess to tell her like,

:

00:47:50,474 --> 00:47:52,184

yeah, we are, we're gonna divorce.

:

00:47:52,484 --> 00:47:54,254

And her mom commits suicide,

:

00:47:54,734 --> 00:47:55,004

-:

:

00:47:55,754 --> 00:47:56,999

-:

is another story beat where I

:

00:47:56,999 --> 00:47:58,844

was like, holy fucking hell.

:

00:47:58,844 --> 00:47:59,609

-:

And they just swept it.

:

00:47:59,609 --> 00:48:00,509

Swept it under the rug.

:

00:48:00,509 --> 00:48:01,919

That was really the important part.

:

00:48:01,919 --> 00:48:01,979

I

:

00:48:02,204 --> 00:48:02,924

-:

:

00:48:02,939 --> 00:48:04,169

-:

wasn't even important enough to,

:

00:48:04,169 --> 00:48:05,879

to be real about how she died.

:

00:48:06,254 --> 00:48:06,584

-:

:

00:48:06,584 --> 00:48:10,244

And they said that she, um, had a heart

attack or so, uh, something like that.

:

00:48:10,259 --> 00:48:10,619

-:

:

00:48:10,664 --> 00:48:14,474

-:

um, they hid it from even the dad.

:

00:48:14,534 --> 00:48:16,274

They were like, oh, he

doesn't need to know that.

:

00:48:16,470 --> 00:48:20,340

at this wedding, at her wedding,

she also reconnects with Rhonda for

:

00:48:20,340 --> 00:48:24,210

the first time and they have kind of

another argument where Rhonda kind of

:

00:48:24,210 --> 00:48:27,990

tells her about herself in the same

way that she had done the other woman.

:

00:48:28,320 --> 00:48:29,730

Who kind of had it coming.

:

00:48:30,300 --> 00:48:31,860

Muriel handles it differently though.

:

00:48:31,860 --> 00:48:36,263

She just kind of takes it as information

and says, okay, this is my life now.

:

00:48:36,671 --> 00:48:39,731

she was like, uh, I bought you a ticket

to go back home and stuff like that.

:

00:48:39,731 --> 00:48:40,601

-:

:

00:48:41,058 --> 00:48:41,418

-:

:

00:48:41,749 --> 00:48:47,149

But then Muriel finds out about her

mom's death after that goes to the

:

00:48:47,179 --> 00:48:51,199

funeral and has kind of a coming to Jesus

moment, for lack of a better phrase.

:

00:48:51,990 --> 00:48:53,460

it kind of went fast for me.

:

00:48:53,460 --> 00:48:56,400

What do you think went on

for her at this funeral?

:

00:48:56,430 --> 00:48:57,840

For, at her mom's funeral?

:

00:48:58,176 --> 00:48:59,286

-:

glossed through that part a

:

00:48:59,286 --> 00:49:00,216

little bit, to be honest with

:

00:49:00,306 --> 00:49:01,176

-:

I bet, you know.

:

00:49:01,356 --> 00:49:03,246

-:

it brings up a lot of bad memories.

:

00:49:04,056 --> 00:49:05,586

Not bad memories, just memories.

:

00:49:06,001 --> 00:49:06,451

-:

:

00:49:07,246 --> 00:49:11,506

Well, she, she had a reaction,

a strong emotional reaction and,

:

00:49:11,626 --> 00:49:16,066

um, kind of a panic attack is what

it looks like happened to her.

:

00:49:16,426 --> 00:49:22,246

And she runs out of the church to find,

I don't remember his name, the swimmer.

:

00:49:22,437 --> 00:49:23,307

Was it Chris?

:

00:49:24,312 --> 00:49:27,522

-:

thinking like Steve or Sean or Rick or

:

00:49:27,777 --> 00:49:29,307

-:

:

00:49:30,192 --> 00:49:31,567

-:

some strong man name

:

00:49:32,037 --> 00:49:32,967

-:

:

00:49:33,257 --> 00:49:33,607

-:

:

00:49:35,307 --> 00:49:35,817

-:

:

00:49:37,377 --> 00:49:42,747

So she, she finds him, um, standing

on the porch of this church in the

:

00:49:42,747 --> 00:49:47,127

rain, and he turns around and says

her name like very sweetly and it's

:

00:49:47,127 --> 00:49:48,447

clear that he's worried about her.

:

00:49:48,657 --> 00:49:49,587

He's sad for her.

:

00:49:50,052 --> 00:49:50,412

-:

:

00:49:51,147 --> 00:49:54,687

-:

a cool, I didn't see that coming either.

:

00:49:54,972 --> 00:49:55,392

-:

:

00:49:55,692 --> 00:49:58,212

We just thought he was this

dick that was using her for

:

00:49:58,377 --> 00:50:00,132

to, to, to meet ends, you know?

:

00:50:00,522 --> 00:50:02,232

Um, but it turns out he's

a little bit human too.

:

00:50:02,232 --> 00:50:06,012

And that's, like you said, I didn't expect

that either, that he would come around.

:

00:50:06,537 --> 00:50:09,687

-:

kind of wears you down, you know, like,

:

00:50:10,107 --> 00:50:14,037

again, she could make every mistake in

the world, but something about her is

:

00:50:14,037 --> 00:50:19,137

so lovable and defensible and relatable.

:

00:50:19,759 --> 00:50:23,029

I think that he had spent enough

time with her at that point to just

:

00:50:23,059 --> 00:50:25,189

begin to see her for who she was.

:

00:50:25,189 --> 00:50:27,139

And then ha she has this

dreadful thing happen.

:

00:50:27,645 --> 00:50:29,565

so he goes to, to comfort her.

:

00:50:29,865 --> 00:50:33,255

They have a real, like actual

connection and they wind up,

:

00:50:33,255 --> 00:50:35,033

sleeping together, which.

:

00:50:35,693 --> 00:50:40,313

The first real love we see

between a married couple in this

:

00:50:40,313 --> 00:50:43,403

movie is a, in a sham marriage.

:

00:50:43,573 --> 00:50:43,923

-:

:

00:50:44,418 --> 00:50:45,948

-:

That's what felt queer to me.

:

00:50:46,008 --> 00:50:48,468

That's what felt anti heteronormative.

:

00:50:48,468 --> 00:50:52,308

It felt, it felt anti the

institution of marriage.

:

00:50:53,131 --> 00:50:54,601

And they, they pull it off.

:

00:50:54,631 --> 00:50:57,901

You know, it could have, it could have

felt stupid and weird and contrived,

:

00:50:57,901 --> 00:50:59,911

and it didn't, it felt like, okay,

yeah, I can see that happening.

:

00:51:00,342 --> 00:51:03,882

I thought about, I mean that's kind of

how the movie, it's, it's not how it ends.

:

00:51:04,122 --> 00:51:10,662

Uh, Muriel, the, the sort of, um,

releasing tension begins at this point.

:

00:51:11,172 --> 00:51:13,332

You know that, that word

denouement, the French word.

:

00:51:14,802 --> 00:51:18,822

It is, I, it's, I find it difficult to

pronounce, but it, it just means untying

:

00:51:18,822 --> 00:51:24,012

the knot, and that's the word for the end

part of a movie where the big climax has

:

00:51:24,012 --> 00:51:28,062

happen and the characters find themselves

in a position where they're able to move

:

00:51:28,062 --> 00:51:29,982

forward towards the end of the story.

:

00:51:30,432 --> 00:51:33,282

And we begin to see tension easing.

:

00:51:33,552 --> 00:51:39,852

So the denouement begins after

this scene with the high stress

:

00:51:39,852 --> 00:51:41,172

of the funeral and stuff.

:

00:51:41,725 --> 00:51:46,585

and she leaves him, she leaves David,

even though they clearly have an

:

00:51:46,585 --> 00:51:48,205

attraction and, and something like that.

:

00:51:48,205 --> 00:51:49,765

And he understands

:

00:51:49,968 --> 00:51:51,258

-:

She finally comes clean.

:

00:51:51,398 --> 00:51:52,628

-:

:

00:51:53,052 --> 00:51:54,492

-:

she realizes that she deserves

:

00:51:54,492 --> 00:51:56,592

more than just a lie, I think.

:

00:51:56,848 --> 00:51:58,018

-:

the lie of marriage

:

00:51:58,228 --> 00:51:58,738

-:

:

00:51:59,098 --> 00:51:59,548

-:

:

00:51:59,548 --> 00:51:59,908

-:

:

00:52:00,342 --> 00:52:03,612

-:

go back to purpose spit to do something.

:

00:52:03,612 --> 00:52:04,842

She's gotta give her dad.

:

00:52:04,932 --> 00:52:08,685

Um, she gives him part of the money

that she stole from him, and he

:

00:52:08,685 --> 00:52:12,255

thinks she's gonna stay and raise

the other kids, her siblings.

:

00:52:12,255 --> 00:52:13,345

-:

like, what am I supposed to do?

:

00:52:14,112 --> 00:52:15,762

-:

you thought about parenting them?

:

00:52:16,782 --> 00:52:18,252

Which she kind of says.

:

00:52:18,408 --> 00:52:23,062

and, and even this didn't go away

that it could have done right.

:

00:52:23,122 --> 00:52:27,352

Th this, they could have treated this like

a big, he gets what he deserves and they

:

00:52:27,352 --> 00:52:31,882

have a big blowout and, and say she tells

him about himself the way maybe Rhonda

:

00:52:31,882 --> 00:52:35,632

would, but that's still not how Muriel is.

:

00:52:36,502 --> 00:52:39,322

She tells him what he

needs to do to go forward.

:

00:52:40,048 --> 00:52:42,358

She doesn't blame him

for her mother's death.

:

00:52:42,512 --> 00:52:46,142

she doesn't, in that moment anyway,

make him reckon with how horribly

:

00:52:46,142 --> 00:52:48,722

he's treated her and the her siblings.

:

00:52:49,262 --> 00:52:51,962

She just sort of says like, you,

this is what you've gotta do from now

:

00:52:51,962 --> 00:52:53,522

on because you're a fucking parent.

:

00:52:54,827 --> 00:52:55,457

-:

:

00:52:55,457 --> 00:52:56,567

She turns it back on him.

:

00:52:56,867 --> 00:52:59,777

She doesn't even for a minute,

entertain the idea that she might stay,

:

00:53:00,122 --> 00:53:00,902

-:

:

00:53:00,927 --> 00:53:01,247

-:

:

00:53:01,247 --> 00:53:01,907

That's great.

:

00:53:02,117 --> 00:53:02,597

That's a, a,

:

00:53:02,597 --> 00:53:05,087

change I think, from the

way things used to be.

:

00:53:06,057 --> 00:53:06,417

-:

:

00:53:06,602 --> 00:53:12,692

She's still weirdo Muriel, but she has

become a new version of herself, which

:

00:53:12,692 --> 00:53:18,065

is what she wanted, and she's become

a version of herself that is, is more

:

00:53:18,285 --> 00:53:20,497

capable of having adult relationships.

:

00:53:21,217 --> 00:53:23,222

Um, she's m.

:

00:53:24,112 --> 00:53:29,332

More suited to being the friend

to her dad that he's gonna need

:

00:53:29,332 --> 00:53:31,102

as he goes forward with parenting.

:

00:53:31,222 --> 00:53:35,992

What are essentially grown, emotionally

stunted children who are gonna need

:

00:53:35,992 --> 00:53:41,182

a lot of mentorship and support as

they go into adulthood with zero

:

00:53:41,182 --> 00:53:43,132

skills or knowledge of how to do that.

:

00:53:44,482 --> 00:53:48,039

Or a mother, like he basically

stunted them so badly.

:

00:53:48,039 --> 00:53:52,629

He's starting from zero with parenting

these practically grown people.

:

00:53:52,629 --> 00:53:54,799

Like he's got his work cut out

for him and he deserves that.

:

00:53:55,322 --> 00:53:55,712

-:

:

00:54:01,048 --> 00:54:02,518

-:

she's got one last thing to do.

:

00:54:02,578 --> 00:54:02,908

Right.

:

00:54:03,238 --> 00:54:04,528

Which is swing by and pick up.

:

00:54:04,528 --> 00:54:04,888

Rhonda,

:

00:54:05,458 --> 00:54:05,788

-:

:

00:54:05,788 --> 00:54:07,768

Which is exactly how this

movie should have ended.

:

00:54:08,098 --> 00:54:09,658

Like, I would've been pissed

with any other ending.

:

00:54:09,658 --> 00:54:11,548

It wouldn't have been the same

movie with a different ending.

:

00:54:12,005 --> 00:54:13,895

-:

point when you first were watching

:

00:54:13,895 --> 00:54:17,075

this, did you think that this was Beco

going to become a queer relationship

:

00:54:17,075 --> 00:54:18,605

with, um, Muriel and Rhonda?

:

00:54:18,755 --> 00:54:20,045

Like say when they first met?

:

00:54:20,525 --> 00:54:23,525

-:

not open to queer ideology when

:

00:54:23,555 --> 00:54:24,185

-:

:

00:54:24,245 --> 00:54:24,365

-:

:

00:54:24,365 --> 00:54:27,995

I was still in the closet, hadn't

even really come out to myself yet.

:

00:54:28,055 --> 00:54:28,505

Um,

:

00:54:28,505 --> 00:54:29,255

-:

That makes sense.

:

00:54:29,405 --> 00:54:31,685

-:

on the verge of it that summer is when I

:

00:54:31,710 --> 00:54:31,830

-:

:

00:54:31,895 --> 00:54:33,965

-:

myself and the everything started.

:

00:54:34,134 --> 00:54:37,494

you know, I, with my parents owning a

porn shop, I really stayed away from

:

00:54:37,494 --> 00:54:39,234

everything sexuality related for a

:

00:54:39,234 --> 00:54:39,504

long

:

00:54:39,504 --> 00:54:39,984

-:

:

00:54:40,464 --> 00:54:42,444

-:

so I, I don't think I thought

:

00:54:42,444 --> 00:54:43,884

in those kinds of, of terms.

:

00:54:44,184 --> 00:54:45,714

Um, but I see it now for sure.

:

00:54:45,921 --> 00:54:48,406

-:

but I also, like, I'm, I don't wanna jump

:

00:54:48,406 --> 00:54:51,256

to that because I think we do that too.

:

00:54:52,156 --> 00:54:52,996

I don't wanna say too often.

:

00:54:53,236 --> 00:54:57,286

I think sometimes we do that and

forget what else could be there.

:

00:54:57,609 --> 00:55:03,429

but there, there certainly was that

possibility in the atmosphere that

:

00:55:03,429 --> 00:55:07,809

first night when Rhonda and Muriel do

their Waterloo performance and then

:

00:55:07,809 --> 00:55:11,409

they, they get really lit after that

and just party the rest of the night and

:

00:55:11,409 --> 00:55:13,239

they're lying under the stars together.

:

00:55:13,749 --> 00:55:17,889

And, um, it is romantic, but

not in inherently sexual,

:

00:55:18,098 --> 00:55:18,448

-:

:

00:55:20,163 --> 00:55:22,593

of my relationship with my best

friend, who's a straight woman.

:

00:55:22,678 --> 00:55:23,098

-:

:

00:55:23,613 --> 00:55:25,623

-:

her naked when she's needed, when

:

00:55:25,628 --> 00:55:25,918

-:

:

00:55:26,133 --> 00:55:26,553

-:

:

00:55:26,553 --> 00:55:28,443

And, um, she, she's seen me naked.

:

00:55:28,803 --> 00:55:32,463

but there's nothing, we've been

best friends since:

:

00:55:32,463 --> 00:55:35,463

there's nothing sexual between

us even a little bit, you know?

:

00:55:35,901 --> 00:55:37,611

-:

is something that homophobia has

:

00:55:37,611 --> 00:55:43,551

done, homophobia heterosexism has

done to us, which is we will look

:

00:55:43,551 --> 00:55:46,491

right past the romance of friendship.

:

00:55:46,881 --> 00:55:47,301

-:

:

00:55:47,798 --> 00:55:51,263

-:

in the 19th century and, my, research

:

00:55:51,263 --> 00:55:56,012

into 19th century American masculinity,

Herman Melville, if you want to read all

:

00:55:56,012 --> 00:55:59,582

of his stuff, you can read it through

that lens, but you would be missing

:

00:55:59,582 --> 00:56:04,202

the point if you didn't also take into

account, it's called homo sociality.

:

00:56:04,232 --> 00:56:09,272

So not homosexuality, but the,

the particular or specific kind of

:

00:56:09,272 --> 00:56:13,832

romantic friendship that could happen

between two people of the same gender.

:

00:56:14,101 --> 00:56:15,241

-:

like Boston marriages.

:

00:56:15,634 --> 00:56:16,024

-:

:

00:56:16,024 --> 00:56:19,624

Kind of like, uh, truly

non-sexual Boston marriages.

:

00:56:19,624 --> 00:56:20,044

Yeah.

:

00:56:20,618 --> 00:56:22,568

tell the listeners what that

is in case they don't know.

:

00:56:23,303 --> 00:56:25,853

-:

is when two, generally it was women,

:

00:56:25,853 --> 00:56:29,513

two women would live together and it

would be a non-sexual, relationship

:

00:56:29,513 --> 00:56:32,963

of two friends that were together and

would assume themselves as married.

:

00:56:33,263 --> 00:56:36,353

Um, but they were two women, so it was

a very early precursor to gay marriage.

:

00:56:36,623 --> 00:56:38,483

Uh, but it wasn't necessarily se sexual.

:

00:56:38,608 --> 00:56:40,378

-:

of times they could be widows.

:

00:56:40,462 --> 00:56:44,332

a Boston marriage was kind of a marriage

of convenience in that, uh, they

:

00:56:44,332 --> 00:56:46,222

were not permitted to own property.

:

00:56:46,372 --> 00:56:47,722

They weren't allowed to work.

:

00:56:48,262 --> 00:56:53,182

So say you find yourself a single woman

and you have certain responsibilities

:

00:56:53,182 --> 00:56:58,526

or even having, you know, kids,

they, they were kind of like, aging.

:

00:56:58,526 --> 00:57:00,266

Getting their shit taken care of, right?

:

00:57:00,266 --> 00:57:02,846

Because there just weren't enough

hours in the day for everything

:

00:57:02,846 --> 00:57:06,566

women had to do with the things

that they were disenfranchised from.

:

00:57:07,050 --> 00:57:09,000

so sometimes it could just simply be that.

:

00:57:09,330 --> 00:57:16,088

And other times, a couple ladies just

thought like, actually I'll pass on men.

:

00:57:16,448 --> 00:57:21,188

And it like, not being, not wanting to

marry a man isn't the same as being queer.

:

00:57:22,061 --> 00:57:25,271

so I I was thinking about that when

I was thinking about Rhonda and

:

00:57:25,271 --> 00:57:30,161

Muriel like the, the romance of homo

sociality and like, this is what we

:

00:57:30,161 --> 00:57:36,401

famously rob cis straight men of under

patriarchy and, um, heterosexism, right?

:

00:57:36,523 --> 00:57:42,673

we don't afford them the necessary

closeness of their peers without sort

:

00:57:42,673 --> 00:57:44,773

of slathering on this veneer of a.

:

00:57:44,837 --> 00:57:49,877

shame or secrecy that they can't be

affectionate or vulnerable with, with

:

00:57:49,877 --> 00:57:52,517

other men, and it does shit to them.

:

00:57:53,050 --> 00:57:55,780

I don't know if I can prove

that, but I feel like I see that

:

00:57:56,705 --> 00:57:58,745

-:

just watch the news for five minutes.

:

00:58:02,260 --> 00:58:03,400

-:

:

00:58:04,315 --> 00:58:05,710

-:

Yeah, there's lots of examples

:

00:58:05,710 --> 00:58:06,820

of what you're talking about.

:

00:58:06,935 --> 00:58:09,880

-:

have to go to, to feel something,

:

00:58:10,150 --> 00:58:14,380

talk about, talk about needing

to make it make sense, right.

:

00:58:14,665 --> 00:58:19,060

The, the stuff that, um, uh, uh,

just a regular, any given, uh, cis

:

00:58:19,060 --> 00:58:23,800

straight man in America has to go

through just to be allowed or afforded

:

00:58:23,800 --> 00:58:25,150

the privilege of feeling something.

:

00:58:25,360 --> 00:58:26,590

is crazy.

:

00:58:26,595 --> 00:58:26,885

-:

:

00:58:26,950 --> 00:58:27,730

Besides anger.

:

00:58:28,330 --> 00:58:28,540

-:

:

00:58:28,540 --> 00:58:29,320

Besides anger.

:

00:58:30,805 --> 00:58:33,985

Well, I guess that's, that brings us

to the end of Muriel's wedding, but

:

00:58:33,985 --> 00:58:35,815

clearly we could talk forever about this.

:

00:58:36,945 --> 00:58:38,405

-:

you overall, you liked the movie?

:

00:58:38,750 --> 00:58:40,105

-:

I absolutely loved it.

:

00:58:40,643 --> 00:58:41,153

Yeah.

:

00:58:41,213 --> 00:58:42,083

No notes.

:

00:58:42,683 --> 00:58:48,818

I mean, besides all the copious notes

I took, but, but, uh, yeah, I, I, I

:

00:58:48,823 --> 00:58:51,713

almost watched it again because we

had to delay recording a day and I

:

00:58:51,713 --> 00:58:54,353

was like, well, what if I, and I was

like, no, no, no, it's not a good idea.

:

00:58:54,353 --> 00:58:57,998

You shouldn't, like there is such

a thing as being over-prepared,

:

00:58:58,898 --> 00:59:00,368

I definitely will watch it again.

:

00:59:00,475 --> 00:59:06,565

it's such a cool way to like, tell a story

like this really unusual story and raise

:

00:59:06,775 --> 00:59:09,595

and answer so many complex questions.

:

00:59:09,825 --> 00:59:10,115

-:

:

00:59:10,905 --> 00:59:12,155

With ABBA is the theme.

:

00:59:12,650 --> 00:59:13,915

-:

:

00:59:14,875 --> 00:59:20,425

I know that we, there would be more

to say, but Jesus, we gotta, I, I

:

00:59:20,425 --> 00:59:26,139

gotta get this edited somehow, but,

you know, listeners let us know if,

:

00:59:26,139 --> 00:59:27,969

like, have you seen this movie before?

:

00:59:27,969 --> 00:59:29,049

Have you seen Muriel's wedding?

:

00:59:29,079 --> 00:59:30,519

What was your experience like?

:

00:59:31,107 --> 00:59:34,617

Would you compare this movie to any

other movie you've seen or know of?

:

00:59:36,177 --> 00:59:37,317

-:

That's a good question.

:

00:59:37,822 --> 00:59:40,750

-:

reminds me a little of Romeo and

:

00:59:40,750 --> 00:59:42,250

Michelle's high school reunion,

:

00:59:42,475 --> 00:59:42,865

-:

:

00:59:42,865 --> 00:59:43,675

That's a good one,

:

00:59:43,863 --> 00:59:47,021

-:

like two besties fixated on something

:

00:59:47,021 --> 00:59:50,711

that actually doesn't prove the,

the thing that they think it does.

:

00:59:50,876 --> 00:59:51,356

-:

:

00:59:52,241 --> 00:59:55,301

-:

that movie every weekend for my, um,

:

00:59:55,301 --> 00:59:56,621

whole senior year of high school,

:

00:59:56,791 --> 00:59:57,251

-:

:

00:59:57,671 --> 00:59:59,051

-:

Romeo and Michelle was, yeah.

:

00:59:59,241 --> 00:59:59,481

-:

:

01:00:00,325 --> 01:00:01,795

-:

you have it at Business Women's

:

01:00:01,795 --> 01:00:03,235

discounts or businesswomen?

:

01:00:03,972 --> 01:00:05,352

She invented Post-its.

:

01:00:05,502 --> 01:00:05,922

-:

:

01:00:06,762 --> 01:00:08,382

seen that movie about a hundred times.

:

01:00:09,117 --> 01:00:09,497

-:

:

01:00:10,092 --> 01:00:10,932

-:

:

01:00:11,742 --> 01:00:12,072

-:

:

01:00:12,072 --> 01:00:12,822

This was awesome.

:

01:00:12,822 --> 01:00:15,462

How, how did you feel about

reviewing your first movie?

:

01:00:16,132 --> 01:00:16,767

-:

:

01:00:16,767 --> 01:00:19,677

I was nervous because I

wasn't, didn't know if I took

:

01:00:19,677 --> 01:00:20,997

the right notes or whatever.

:

01:00:21,297 --> 01:00:22,017

Um, but I think I did.

:

01:00:22,017 --> 01:00:22,347

Okay.

:

01:00:22,347 --> 01:00:22,707

I think

:

01:00:22,722 --> 01:00:23,142

-:

:

01:00:23,997 --> 01:00:26,187

-:

I pointed out some good points.

:

01:00:26,742 --> 01:00:26,952

-:

:

01:00:27,807 --> 01:00:29,157

-:

it's just a skill like anything

:

01:00:29,157 --> 01:00:30,237

else that I'll have to sharpen.

:

01:00:30,972 --> 01:00:32,322

-:

Honestly, I think you did great

:

01:00:32,382 --> 01:00:33,372

for your first time doing it.

:

01:00:33,372 --> 01:00:37,422

Like the, the worst thing you

can do is be too nervous to say

:

01:00:37,422 --> 01:00:42,042

anything because there's nothing

wrong with making an observation.

:

01:00:42,042 --> 01:00:43,842

Hell, we're not doing surgery,

:

01:00:46,527 --> 01:00:47,742

-:

This is not rocket surgery.

:

01:00:48,072 --> 01:00:51,535

-:

rocket surgery or brain science yet.

:

01:00:51,595 --> 01:00:51,985

Would do.

:

01:00:51,985 --> 01:00:53,365

Again, this was very fun.

:

01:00:53,425 --> 01:00:56,245

I love talking about movies with

other people who like talking about

:

01:00:56,245 --> 01:00:59,665

movies and it's nice that there are

so many of those people out there.

:

01:00:59,923 --> 01:01:03,833

we have a still a bunch to choose

from, but if this sparked anything in

:

01:01:03,833 --> 01:01:07,723

your mind that you wanna suggest for

us to add to the list, let us know.

:

01:01:07,813 --> 01:01:11,613

You can email us at

mailbag@queernecks.com.

:

01:01:12,703 --> 01:01:15,223

Um, did we miss something?

:

01:01:15,253 --> 01:01:17,953

Have you seen Uri I's Wedding and

you were like, God, I can't believe

:

01:01:17,953 --> 01:01:19,363

they didn't say such and such.

:

01:01:19,363 --> 01:01:20,413

Let us know that too.

:

01:01:21,088 --> 01:01:23,608

If, do you know somebody that Muriel's

Wedding is their favorite movie?

:

01:01:23,608 --> 01:01:25,768

Send our episodes in this episode to them.

:

01:01:25,768 --> 01:01:28,558

We would love to, to

meet some new friends.

:

01:01:29,091 --> 01:01:32,901

leave us a review if you haven't,

and follow us slash subscribe

:

01:01:32,901 --> 01:01:34,071

depending on where you listen.

:

01:01:34,581 --> 01:01:35,571

That helps a lot.

:

01:01:35,814 --> 01:01:37,824

And we'll see you when you, we see you.

:

01:01:38,334 --> 01:01:39,534

See how to you mom and Neil.

:

01:01:39,994 --> 01:01:40,214

-:

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