🎙️ The Notes I Leave: Seven Seconds of Silence

Total Time: ~30 minutes

Format: 1/2 public + 1/2 members-only

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🕊️ INTRO

Shalom, and grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. Welcome to The Notes I Leave podcast.

The Hebrew word “shalom” signifies more than mere peace; it signifies wholeness, completeness, well-being, harmony with God and others. All of which, I wish for you.

The purpose of this podcast is to share the diverse experiences I encounter as a professor, teacher, entrepreneur, student, father, son, brother, and follower of Christ Jesus. These notes are intended for you, now and in the future.

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📖 MAIN MESSAGE

📜 This week’s theme:

In this episode, I discuss how our words matter with each carrying distinct weight.

📜 Anchor verse(s):

19 When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, But he who restrains his lips is wise.

Proverbs 10:19, New American Standard Bible, 1995

📜 Application or takeaway:

The Lord has placed on my heart that words are precious and we should not seek to be heard, but to hear our brothers and sisters.

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🙏 TRANSITION TO MEMBERS

That is the heart of what the Lord laid on me this week—but for those of you walking this journey further with me, there is a deeper side I want to share; in the members-only section, I’ll be opening up about how this career change challenged me as a father and a disciple.

But first, I would like to leave you with a quote and question.

📚 Quote:

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply. They’re either speaking or preparing to speak. They’re filtering everything through their own paradigms, reading their autobiography into other people’s lives.”

—Stephen R. Covey

☕️ Question:

As a personal reflection, am I a Christian with something to say or a fool who must say something?

📞 Call to action:

If you are not yet a member and want to support this work while gaining full access to deeper reflections like these, head to https://www.biblicalanatomyacademy.com click on ‘Podcasts,’ and then click on ’Support the Podcast’ or simply access the direct link via https://podcast.biblicalanatomy.com/support

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🕯️ PRAYER AND BLESSING

Father, thank You for guiding us—even when the path is not clear to us. Teach us to walk in humility, trust, and obedience.

Until next time, may the peace of Christ dwell richly in you and may I express ‘maranatha,’ which is an Aramaic word translating to “Come, Lord Jesus.”

Shalom, grace and peace.

In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

My name is Daniel Miller and this is the Notes I Leave Podcast.

Hello and thank you for joining the Notes I Leave Podcast.

This episode title is the Seven Seconds of Silence.

It is something that I am quite passionate about in my daily life

and hopefully I can show you kind of some evidence on why I am

passionate about that and why I think that we need more of it

in our society.

There are many quotes that go along with this.

Actually had a difficult time choosing a quote to kind of conclude

this podcast and get the message across in the most impactful

way with the most minimal use of words.

We were given two ears and one mouth to use as such, twice as

often should we listen as as often as we speak.

And for many of us, including myself, that means we need more

hours in the day to be able to listen because we fill so much

space with our words.

What I like to try and practice, particularly in my household,

and I try and implement it in the classroom and everywhere I am,

as much as possible, is Seven Seconds of Silence, hence the name

of the episode title.

And I have been astounded over the years of using this, how often

people are not done with their thought and you don't have that

opportunity if you don't provide that silence.

I'll get more into this as we move along, but we always want to

get into God's Word as soon as possible.

And in fact, essentially all episodes and most certainly this

episode are inspired by something that I've come across in God's

Word that either hit me differently this time coming through it,

or something that seemingly wasn't there before.

I can't tell you how many times I've gone through God's Word.

And I know it's been there.

It's been there much longer than I've existed.

But I didn't just.

I didn't grasp it the previous time that I came through.

And this is kind of an instance of that.

And so let's get into God's Word on this.

This is in Proverbs.

I have one verse for you today to kind of highlight the minimal

use of words.

Not because using God's word shouldn't be done in its totality, it should.

But Proverbs, as you know, often it's one verse is sort of the idea.

And that's what we're going to focus on today.

So please, if you would, turn to Proverbs, chapter 10, verse 19,

Proverbs 17:27 also ties in with this directly, and I encourage

you to read that as well.

So sometimes I'll fill in some space here to give you some time

to turn there.

But this is a podcast.

You're certainly welcome to hit the pause button and then hit

play when you're ready.

So please again turn to the 10th chapter of Proverbs and the 19th

verse of that chapter.

And it reads, when there are many words, transgression is unavoidable.

But he who restrains his lips is wise.

What first stood out to me is that transgression is unavoidable.

And it just, it just sat on me.

It hit me in a way that this has been on my heart for years to

begin with, but today was sort of a new level as I came across this verse.

I came across this verse earlier today, just a few hours ago,

and it just sat on me a little bit different.

More impactfully that not only is it not wise to use too many

words, but transgression is unavoidable.

That makes me want to shrink my 50 minute high school classes

I teach down to about 10 minutes of speaking at most.

That makes me want to shrink the three hour lectures I have at

the college level down to maybe also 10 minutes and the podcast as well.

You know, my original intention with this podcast was 10 minutes

of a public section and 10 minutes of a member section.

And that was put on my heart for a reason.

And so far I have failed every week at doing that.

I've provided closer to a 20 and 20, sometimes almost a 30 and a 20.

And so perhaps in reflection, this is encouraging for me to get

back to that 10 and 10 as well.

When we fill the space that we're in with words, each word, by

nature, from a statistical standpoint, just means less.

I know as an educator that approximately 10% of what I say is

what's going to come across to the ears of the student or the one listening.

And with that in mind, it's been very striking over the last decade

as I've seen that prove itself to be true.

It constantly puts me into a reflectory mode of what are the 10%?

What is the 10% that I want the listener, that I want the student to acquire?

And it has really changed the way that I deliver messages and

I deliver lectures and those sorts of things.

And so with that in mind, I, I'm, I'm for one, embracing this

and need to remind myself of this as time goes on to be a better,

more effective teacher.

Who knew that being a better, more effective teacher involves less words?

Instead of more words.

But if we think about it from a student's perspective, I know

for me, I learned so much more in graduate school when the tables

were turned and we were able to teach and we were able to get

into groups and do a series of projects, investigations, case

studies, all of those things.

And so why for me, why was that just a graduate school thing?

Why was undergrad and high school lecture based?

And was that a mistake?

I think it probably was.

And so as I teach high schoolers, I try to provide them with that

graduate school experience from that standpoint.

And as I teach undergrad students, I try to do the same.

And when I have the unique privilege to teach someone that is

at a graduate level, I try to continue that on and do the same

for them there.

But again, this took takes it to another level.

Transgression is unavoidable.

So why would I dare speak or err on the side of length in my words

if eventually transgression is going to occur?

I think a good example of this for me is when we say something

that offends another and we try and get ourselves out of it and

we just dig ourselves a deeper and deeper hole.

I think this is a real life example for us.

I had an instance last year that I stated something that perturbed,

we'll say, one of my co workers and that co worker was hurt by

that and in response sent something back that was hurtful. And I.

My heart was not in the position to hurt that person.

And I think it was just a reflex that occurred.

But it was much more obvious to my coworker that they had hurt

me than it was for me that I had hurt them.

And as they kind of went backwards to try and remedy the situation,

it just got worse and worse and worse.

I've done the same thing this year as recently as about a week ago.

We all have instances where words come out of our mouth and we

wish we could grab them like physical objects and put them back

in our mouth.

I had that instance.

And how did I remedy it?

I tried to explain myself more, which only often makes the situation worse.

And we have here God's word that confirms that.

And so with that, I want to keep my words fairly minimal, to provide

as much content, as much valuable content as possible.

And the way of doing that for me is to really just reflect on

how we as a family use that seven seconds of silence.

And we don't.

We don't do it perfectly.

In fact, we don't even do it well, really.

But I'm Continually reminding members of the family to implement that.

But I'll go back to something I said before I read Proverbs 10:19

or I started to say, and that was when I provide that seven seconds

of silence, even three seconds of silence, five seconds of silence, any silence.

I am stunned at how often the person that I'm communicating with

that I am trying to lovingly communicate with, how often they

have something more to say, I do it myself, I conclude a thought

and I think I'm done speaking.

But even as the words sort of enter the atmosphere, it almost

stimulates more thought for me.

And something else comes out.

And if I wasn't provided 3, 5, 7 seconds of silence, I wouldn't

have the ability to continue my thoughts.

And now other information is coming in and that is likely changed

my thought process and how I want to return that or answer that.

And we're all frustrated when we have something to say and we

forget what we were going to say.

And sometimes we remember and sometimes we don't.

But if we provide that seven seconds of silence, that person has

the ability to one know that they have the freedom to process

and continue processing and continue speaking if need be.

It also does something remarkable in terms of listening, that

the person that is speaking, knowing that they're going to receive

that seven seconds of silence, knows that you are truly listening.

Because let's face facts, if I provide you zero seconds of silence,

or even worse, I cut you off at the end of your statement.

What I'm really stating is that what I have to say is so much

more important than what you have to say, that the sooner you

could stop speaking, the better it would be for me.

I mean, that's essentially how disrespectful it is.

And with that, some of us might be quick witted, but none of us

are quick enough to have completely come up with something to

say and begin saying it in less than a second.

So what that also states is that the person you're communicating

with was thinking about their response at the end of your statement

and did not grab anything of maybe the most important thing you

said in the whole thing.

We're all victim of it, right?

I know if I'm speaking to someone, I have a natural tendency that

in the first five seconds of them speaking, I've already got a response.

And that person might speak for another minute and a half.

And how often do we sit there and we're twiddling our thumbs like,

okay, I know what to say here, I know how to fix this, or I know

what the response should be.

And I didn't listen to the last 85 seconds of that minute and

a half, which probably would have changed my response maybe completely,

maybe it wouldn't have.

But me cutting the person off is not conveying love to that person.

I think oftentimes we use the excuse that people are quick witted

and they can come up with stuff quickly.

But nobody's quick witted enough when you're cutting the message

off because the message wasn't completely done.

Nor is anybody quick witted enough for that to complete in less

than a second.

Unless it's a humorous one liner. Right.

But any sort of depth and reflection, it's better to have that

seven seconds of silence because not only has the person been

able to get out the entirety of their thought, they've also had

the space to potentially start up a new thought.

And if they don't, they realize that you're spending those seven

seconds really genuinely processing what they've said and you're

trying to form something in reply.

And that reply might be silence itself.

You might not have anything.

But what they do know is that they know that you heard them and you listened.

And that's the most important part.

You know that famous quote that is sort of untraceable of its

origins is the two ears, one mouth.

And I said it at the beginning, but we were all given two ears

and one mouth, so we should be listening twice as often as we're speaking.

And again, joking, not joking.

For people like perhaps us, definitely myself, that means an extension

of a 24 hour day because of how often I'm talking.

Which again gets me to reflect on how lengthy do the messages

need to be?

How often can I get the recipient of the message or recipients

of the message to then reply back to me? Inform communication.

Am I talking so long that people are just tuning out?

As a teacher, if you are a teacher, you know that so much to be true.

I can see that with my students.

I can see that they've sort of glazed over and they're thinking

about something completely different because the spurt of lecture

has gone on too long, which is good feedback in the moment for

me to slow things down, stop things and to make sure that we're,

we're back on track to where we need to be.

I tell you what, it's a humbling experience.

When you have a student fall asleep on you, you haven't.

You've ignored the cues of them tuning out and getting sleepy.

Now you've completely put them to sleep and What a full circle

moment that is.

When you as a student fell asleep on teachers and now you as the

teacher have students falling asleep on you.

So I hope this serves as an encouragement for you all to essentially

talk less, talk less and listen more because of what it does for

the person who's speaking.

And I'm not again saying that because I speak so much, because

I want that to happen to me.

I do, but something that I can apply as a listener, to speak less

and actually be the one who's listening, to show love and value

for that person.

This discussion could go on and on, and I'm going to share with

you a brilliant quote which is just packed with depth.

That could be three or four podcasts itself just in these few statements.

But I am going to limit this to what we've stated because I think

the main point has been illustrated and we can move on to a little

bit more depth in the members only section.

But the point is that the Lord has placed on my heart that words

are precious, that they do carry weight, and that we should not

seek to be heard, but seek to be hearing.

Our brothers and sisters.

That quote for you is by Stephen or this quote.

I shouldn't say that quote that previously was my application

or my thought.

This quote by Stephen R.

Covey is a brilliant one.

It states, most people do not listen with the intent to understand.

They listen with the intent to reply.

They're either speaking or preparing to speak.

They're filtering everything through their own paradigms, reading

their autobiographies into other people's lives.

That, my friends, is just jam packed with so much truth.

Truth that is hard to hear at times, but so much truth nonetheless.

And so my question really today is for myself, because I think

I'm probably most guilty of what I'm speaking to today.

And so as a personal reflection, am I a Christian with something

to say, or am I a fool who must say something?

I'll state that again.

Am I a Christian who has something to say, meaning there's something

on my heart that I need to convey, which should be all that's

included in these podcasts or anything that's included in my teaching?

If it's not, then that's the time to stop, right?

Do I truly have something of value to state, or am I simply a

fool that must say something?

I've got to be heard.

I don't feel valued unless I'm heard, and so I've got to say something.

Even if I have nothing to say, I still say something. Profound thought.

There if you are not yet a member of our podcast to continue on

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Support the podcast and for $12 a month you can support what we're

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And I can't imagine that not taking place because of how passionate

I am to leave these notes for my future self, for my kids, for

my students, for my peers.

But it sure would be extraordinarily helpful and less trying on

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as just basic living.

This podcast is not making us wealthy at all.

In fact, this podcast is significantly in the negative.

The only reason this podcast exists is because I believe God's

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And so if God has placed on your heart the same thing for it to

exist, we would appreciate your support through membership and

as an encouragement for that, we have this members only segment

as a separate section with a different topic or like in today's

case, a deeper dive.

And so we're going to switch over to that now.

And I appreciate you for listening during this time.

Again, I have failed in getting 10 minutes.

This is going to be quite the challenge for me.

But here at about the 20 minute mark, I do appreciate you.

I love you.

Thank you for listening and support us any way that you can if

you feel led to.

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We have kept the monetary side of it as low as possible to make

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We love you, we thank you for listening and as always, God bless.

Until next time.

May the peace of Christ dwell richly in you.

And may I also express maranantha, which is an Aramaic word translating

to come or Lord Jesus.