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How to Express and Show Sympathy
Episode 7619th January 2022 • This Shit Works • Julie Brown
00:00:00 00:07:23

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The first thing we usually say to someone who has suffered a loss is “Let me know if there is anything I can do.” It’s a great sentiment - but it’s almost completely useless because more often than not the person has no idea what they need, they are still in shock and numbed by the loss. 

Losing someone is a life changing experience. That person now lives in a world that is forever changed by the absence of their loved one, and because of this words can seem inadequate. 

Listen in for 7 ways to show and express sympathy to someone who is experiencing the loss of a loved one. 

Drink of the Week: Spirits Raised

https://www.forbes.com/sites/ginapace/2020/10/30/try-these-tequila-cocktails-that-evoke-da-de-los-muertos-traditions/?sh=49030bc3633e

This episode is sponsored by Nickerson, a full-service branding, marketing, and PR and communications agency with team members in Boston, LA, Miami, and NYC. https://nickersoncos.com/

Julie Brown:

Website- ​https://juliebrownbd.com/

Instagram- ​https://www.instagram.com/juliebrown_bd/

LinkedIn- ​https://www.linkedin.com/in/julie-brown-b6942817/

Youtube- ​https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIwWVdayM2mYXzR9JNLJ55Q

Music from the episode

https://freesound.org/people/yunclas/

Transcripts

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Collective tree Ophelia is the belief that certain

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events occur in threes.

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One of the widest held beliefs passed down from generation to generation,

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is that death comes in threes.

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Overall, this might just be superstition.

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But for me in 2021.

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It was a reality.

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The span of three and a half months.

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My father-in-law my Nana.

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And Chris's on all passed away.

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Welcome to episode 76 of this shit works.

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I'm your host, Julie Brown.

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And today I am discussing.

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How we can show sympathy to the people in our network when they experience loss.

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This episode is sponsored by Nickerson a full service branding,

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marketing PR and communications agency with team members in Boston.

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Los Angeles, Miami and New York city.

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Visit them at Nickerson C O S.

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Dot com.

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Death brings to the surface, a number of emotions, anger, sadness.

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Guilt anxiety.

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And that's just the beginning of it.

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There is no right way to grieve.

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I know that, and each person has to move through their grief in their own way.

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But even though there is no right or correct way to process death.

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There can be a right way to be there for the people in your life and

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in your network who are trying to navigate the loss of a loved one.

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The first thing we usually say to someone who has suffered loss is let

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me know if there's anything I can do.

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It's a great sentiment, but it's almost completely useless.

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Because more often than not, that person has absolutely no idea what they need.

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They're still in shock.

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And numbed by their grief.

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Losing someone is a life-changing experience.

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That person now lives in a world that is forever changed by the

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absence of their loved one.

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And because of this.

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Boards can seem inadequate and we never know what to say or do.

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The following are some ways to express your care and concern and

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also be of help to your friend who is experiencing loss and might not

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know how to answer that question.

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Is there anything I can do?

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One.

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Look for an immediate need and fill it.

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Can you help with transportation watching their kids or their dogs,

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communicating with other family and friends to let them know what has happened

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or simply running errands for them.

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Too.

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Preparing food.

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When Chris's dad died, there was so much to do in the days immediately after

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we were planning his services meeting with lawyers, setting up the estate.

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And we ran what seemed like a hundred errands a day.

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With all the running around, we literally forgot to eat.

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We would ask each other throughout the day.

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Hey, have you, have you eaten today?

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And the answer was usually no.

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So, if you can provide food already prepared meals, that is a huge help,

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bigger than you could ever even imagine.

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Also, we had friends send us gift cards to local restaurants.

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It just made it easier to get the food delivered to our house, to

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make sure that we were eating.

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Three.

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Send flowers or cards, send them to the funeral home or send them to their

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house, but send them, we loved all the flowers that people sent and it made us

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feel that the people who couldn't attend the service or somehow still with us.

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And the cards offered us such amazing thoughts and sentiments.

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For.

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Hug them.

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Sometimes we don't even know how bad we need a hug until someone gives us one.

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The stress of grief can make our hold our bodies in such rigid

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postures and curl in on ourselves.

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Hugging someone helps us release that physical stress.

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Five.

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Share contacts and referrals.

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There is so much that has to happen after someone dies.

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Uh, give them referrals to services.

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They might need a florist and a state attorney, a grief

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counselor, a housekeeper.

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There's so many things that you can help with.

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Six.

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Ask them, if they want to talk.

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Just listening and letting them share their feelings can

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help them process their grief.

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And seven.

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Check back in after a while.

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And the first days after a death, the other person is usually

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surrounded by family and friends, helping them get through that time.

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But as time goes on and there are fewer, and fewer people around that

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is when it can be really tough.

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So make sure to check back in with them to see how they're doing.

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Consistently.

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Loss is never easy.

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Whether that loss was a weighted and expected or completely sudden.

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Your words and your actions can be a tremendous help to people in your

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life who are dealing with loss.

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The sorrow we feel when we lose a loved one is the price we have

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to pay to have had them in our lives and to have loved them.

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And it's universal.

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We will all experience it at some point in our lives.

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Is a popular tradition to raise a glass, to remember the dead.

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An Ireland, one of the most popular drinks used to accomplish this as whiskey.

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Is a tradition at Irish wakes to have a drink and memory of

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the departed with whiskey often mused as part of the tradition.

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And Mexico where the day of the dead is celebrated.

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Each November, tequila or mezcal is often part of this celebration and

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remembrance of the dealer departed.

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I love the day of the dead, which is actually three days lasting

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from October 31st to November 2nd.

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And is celebrated.

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To honor the deceased.

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DIA de Los Muertos.

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Isn't a somber or sad celebration.

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It's a colorful festival where people celebrate and remember

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their deceased ancestors.

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So the drink of the week is inspired by DIA de Los Muertos

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and is called spirits raised.

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Here's what you're going to need.

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Two ounces of Tequila.

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One ounce of Coco Lopez, one ounce of pineapple juice

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and one ounce of lime juice.

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What you're going to do is you're going to add all of those ingredients

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to a shaker filled with ice, shake it real well, and straight into

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a cocktail glass filled with ice.

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All right friends.

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I hope this episode was helpful.

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If you liked what you heard today, please leave a review

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and subscribe to the podcast.

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Also, please remember to share the podcast.

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With your friends and others who may enjoy it or find it useful.

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Thanks for being here.

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Until next week.

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