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Welcome to she coaches coaches. I'm your host, Kandi motsek. And I'm going to help you find the clarity, confidence and courage to become the coach that you are meant to be. If you're a new coach, or if you've always wanted to be a life coach, then this is the place for you. We're going to talk all about mindset and strategies and how to, because step by step only works when you have the clarity, courage and confidence to take action. Let's get started. Hey there, and welcome to this episode of she coaches coaches. This is the fourth episode in my mini series about confidence. We've talked about why faking it till you make it might actually hurt more than it helps. We've gone over three big lies, we tell ourselves about confidence. And then last week, we talked about three truths that will help you build your confidence. I mentioned the five see confidence formula in those episodes. And today, this is what I'm going to describe to you. So buckle up, and let's go. And before we dive in, here's your thought your powerful, inspiring Thought for Today. This time, I want to see what happens if I don't give up.

In the past couple of episodes, I've given you some powerful thoughts to use, I reminded you, you are far more capable than you know. Then I asked you to remember that a lack of confidence doesn't mean you're not ready. If you like these kinds of encouraging thoughts, well, I've got a little treat for you. When you sign up for my free coaches Online Business Academy, that's the vault where I store all kinds of amazing resources to help you, you sign up and in there, I've got something new, I created some free screensavers. They are graphics that I created in Canva. And you can use them for your phone homescreen. It's a super helpful way to remind yourself of the powerful thoughts that you're practicing. Because when you think better, you will feel better. And when you feel better, more confident, more positive, more inspired, more empowered, you will do better. And you'll find that it's going to be way easier to be effective, and execute the next steps in your plan. Changing my phone homescreen is one of the ways that I remind myself the thoughts that I'm practicing. Our thoughts are optional. Our words are powerful. And we can learn and integrate new thoughts. When we choose powerful thoughts, we create the emotions that go with them. The emotions have determined and motivated, committed empowered and more. And since our feelings fuel our actions, the more we take supportive and empowering actions. And we take power away from our tendency to procrastinate and avoid. I'll put the link to sign up in the show notes. Then you can sign up, download the graphics and start practicing those thoughts. So let's talk about the five c formula. To begin with. The five C's are, decide and commit. The first C is that commit. The second is courage. The third is capable, then we have confidence. And number five is compassion. So the five C's again are decide and commit courage, capable confidence and compassion. Don't worry, I'll put a graphic in the blog post that goes with this episode. So you can click through and have a look at it for those of you who are visual learners. Now, this is not a ladder. It's not one of those things that we climb and get to the top. It's actually a cycle that we move through. Some days you're gonna feel indecisive. Some days you're gonna forget what you're capable of. When I identify how I'm feeling, it's my reminder of how to move to the next step. In this five see confidence formula. If I'm feeling indecisive, it's time for me to commit. If I'm feeling capable, then my next step is going to be to shift into confidence, compassion, or rather, self compassion is always a good place to land. If you're not sure how you're feeling, or the step for you to take next to move forward, practice self compassion, and it's going to help you. I'll talk a little bit more about it as I described Each of the seas to you in a bit more detail. So the first sea decide and commit, the sighting is a superpower. And it happens in an instant, it doesn't take time to decide, after you decided, you'll know what to do. You've either decided or you haven't. And don't be fooled. If you haven't decided you have actually made a decision, you've decided to stay in indecision, you haven't chosen your path. Nothing happens until you decide, every single thing that you have in your life started with a decision. It's an act of self empowerment. And it might sound something like this in your mind, I've decided, or I can decide to now we get scared, we get scared that we're going to make the wrong decision. And we put a ton of emphasis on not making mistakes, not making bad decisions. Now, I'm not talking about bad decisions in quotation marks that are going to be harmful or cause harm. I'm talking about the kinds of decisions as to whether you're going to post a live video on social media today. If you're maybe been toying with the idea of writing and posting a blog, maybe it's thought that you should attend a networking event or reach out to that really interesting person. I'm talking about the kinds of decisions that are going to help move you towards the goal that you want.

Try this on for size, what if every decision you made was a good one, you're either going to have things go well, or you're going to learn from what happened. That way. If you're learning, you're getting feedback, and that feedback will help you move towards your right path. So it's possible isn't it, that every single decision is a good decision. Then once you've made that decision, commit to taking the next step. Now notice, I didn't say commit to the entire journey or commit to the next 10 steps. Just that one next step. Now when I use this five, see formula, I don't try to change the world in one fell swoop, I take the next step, that one right in front of me. And the smaller, the better. Our emotions change day to day today, and sometimes even hour to hour. And if you're noticing that you're feeling stuck, or indecisive or lost or overwhelmed, it's your sign that the next step in the five c cycle is to decide and commit. When you decide and commit, you're going to feel decisive, you're going to feel at choice, and you're going to get clarity, because you know what you're going to do next. The second C is courage. So here you are, you made your decision. And you've committed to taking that one next tiny step. Now you're ready for a dose of courage. Courage means with heart, the ability to do something that frightens you. And truthfully, there is no way around it. Courage often feels terrible before, it means you're taking a risk, and you're moving past your self imposed limits. And you're moving out of the safety of your comfort zone. So yeah, it can feel nerve racking. But remember, I'm not asking you to take on the world, I only am asking you to take on the next step. That's what's so great about this five, see approach step by step by step, and you'll get there. If it's too scary. Take a moment and look for those past times where you've been courageous. Remind yourself by looking for evidence that you have already been that person. You can even ask, How am I already courageous? We have this mistaken idea that courage is always huge, like the hero in a movie. But courage is both the big event and in the small actions too. It's easier when remember that this doesn't have to be a grand gesture. It could just be one tiny step one thought maybe you spoke up that one time. Maybe you stood up when you wanted to sit down. Maybe you believed in yourself when you'd rather give up. And the fun thing about courage is that yeah, it can feel nerve wracking before, but the rush that you get after taking that step, boom. It's instantaneous. I did it. If I can do that, I can do anything. So if you get stuck and you can't figure out that Next step, ask yourself, what would my courageous self do. And before you take that courageous step, remember, you are going to feel nervous, you are going to feel a little afraid. But remember, after you take that step, you're going to feel empowered. Watch and see how you personally experienced courage.

The third see is capable, okay, we're on a roll, you decided and you committed with the first see, then you practice courage with the second scene. And with time and repetition and learning, you're going to notice that you're starting to feel increasingly better, you feel capable, you feel competent. When you're making some progress, you're not at 100%, I get that. But you're starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel, right? This is the place of learning. And when you're going to start to see traction, the more you take these small acts of courage, the quicker you will feel capable. Remember, when I said we have to pass through courage to get to capable, it also means we're passing through courage to get to our goal of confident, capable means you start to feel competent, and effective, you may find yourself thinking thoughts like, you know what I'm getting there, or I am making progress. All right. Now, the fourth C, confident, you have grown so much. And now here you are, you've landed in that fourth sea of confidence. Confidence feels great. It's the byproduct of all the other C's, it's the thing that we want. Now, if you want to feel confident, you know what to do, you start with the first see you deciding commit, and then you use your courage, you learn, you practice and you become capable, and eventually confident will happen. Find out where you are in that five see cycle. And then all you need to focus on is taking the next step. If you're indecisive, you know, it's time to decide and commit, then you're onto courage. And then you keep learning and practicing, you become capable. And now you know, you must land at confidence when you put all of that into practice. The fifth See, so, so far, it sounds pretty sensible and logical, right? And many, many people who teach about confidence stop right there. But I'm curious when you like to make it even easier. The fifth C is the sea of compassion, self compassion, self acceptance. And compassion means to treat yourself like a dear friend. We've got this weird idea. We think that we have to be hard on ourselves, we have to crack the whip to make progress. Has that ever really gotten you far more than likely, when you're always harsh with yourself, you're gonna rebel. After all, the pain of not doing anything is far better than the pain of having done something and then getting raked over the coals for it right? At least if you don't do anything, you haven't wasted the energy. And you can pretend at least that I'll do it soon, or I'll do it later. But when we're compassionate with ourselves, everything is easier. Courage is easier. So is deciding committing is easier. And taking action is definitely easier and learning to because you're not going to be right yourself. If it's not perfect. More than anything this see, the fifth C of compassion is the most important of the formula. What would be possible for you, if you had your own back, no matter what the outcome? Well, you'd be a lot more likely to learn from your mistakes and try again. Right? So how do we do this? How do we put this into action? We decide and we commit to ourselves. We create and build a relationship with ourselves. Now, I know it's easy to say, but you know, I don't know how to do that. I've never done it before. And that's okay. Because we all start from the beginning. And it's really really okay if this is a new skill for you. So let me show you how to get started. You start with your thoughts and feelings. You might practice thoughts like these. No matter what happens I will have my own back or if I make a mistake, I am still going to be kind to myself. You might ask yourself these questions. How are you friend? Or how are you feeling? Honey? You might ask yourself, what do you need? What do you need right now? What do you need to feel safe and secure?