In this episode, Carrie-Ann Wade talks about the importance of boundary setting as a communicator and as a leader.

Sharing her own experiences of boundary setting, and recognising when boundaries are slipping, Carrie-Ann invites you to reflect on your boundaries and how you are communicating them.

00:54 - recognising when your boundaries are slipping

02:38 - protecting your time and energy

03:26 - protecting your team

05:19 - delivering strategic objectives

06:27 - boundaries and decision making

07:59 - taking on the mental load

As well as being clear on what your boundaries are, make sure you communicate them. And make time for your life outside of work, your professional boundaries should help support your personal life.

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You can find out more about Carrie-Ann and Cat's Pajamas Communications at www.cats-pajamas.co.uk

Welcome to Behind the Bob Diary of a Comms

Director with me, Carrie Ann Wade.

This podcast is all about developing communications leaders of the

future and supporting you to grow and thrive in your comms career.

You'll hear from me about my experiences and insights, and there might even

be a special guest or two popping up.

So I hope you enjoy.

Boundary setting is something you've probably heard me talk about

a lot, and it's confession time.

Time for some music.

No, I haven't got any to hand, but dun, duh.

My confession is I have recently let my boundaries slip, and that probably won't

be a surprise to you either because it's something that I've talked about before.

What I wanted to say first up is that recognizing and having that insight

into how your boundaries slipping manifest for you is really important

because that means that you can take action to reestablish those boundaries

and reset them if you need to.

For me personally this shows up as feeling overwhelmed and a little out of

control, knowing that I'm prioritizing other people's needs above my own,

and I do mean that professionally and continuing to do that rather than

prioritizing mine and also in not feeling as productive as I could.

It is important to consider how being unbounded or how your boundaries

slipping show up for you, so I would definitely encourage you to

take some time to reflect on that.

I've also noticed that in my personal life, it's manifested as me not

prioritizing my own health and wellbeing.

When my professional boundaries slip, I give up my fitness time, even

though I know this is not good for me.

Ironically, if I practice my boundaries better at work, this

wouldn't happen, but such is life.

I'm going to start this conversation by assuming we are all in a

place where we know two things.

One, it's okay to have and to set boundaries at work no matter

what level you are operating at.

And two, maintaining your boundaries takes practice.

And there will be all sorts of reasons why they might slip.

My advice here is go easy on yourself, because boundary setting is something

I talk about a lot with communicators.

I thought dedicating an episode to it might be helpful, and I wanted to really

focus in for me on the reasons why I need boundaries as a communications director.

So strap yourselves in here we go to protect my time and energy.

So I can focus on the right things and deliver my priorities

to the best of my ability.

What could be a better reason to need a boundary in the workplace?

This is so linked to delegation for me.

Resource issues in my team recently have meant that I've not delegated

work as much as I should or I could.

However, this is not best use of my time or my skillset, and it also doesn't

help those around me in terms of their own growth, development, and stretch.

Actually, we need to talk as a team about what is achievable and provide clarity

over whose role certain things are.

That's not to say that we don't help each other out, but we do need to be

clear on each of the value ads that we bring in progressing strategic

and operational deliverables.

Next up, boundaries are important to protect my team.

Now I know what I've just said, and this can get a bit mixed up in

that point that I've just made as sometimes I've seen not delegating

work as a way to protect my team.

Having said that, protecting my team and managing their capacity is actually about

setting real ex realistic expectations and negotiating with other senior leaders.

When I ask a question to someone about what is the priority,

the answer can't be everything.

If the answer is everything, then actually nothing is a priority.

It's my role as communications director to set some clear

boundaries about what's achievable.

I've pre previously been in positions where my people pleasing modes kicked

in and in meetings I've said yes to things, and then worried about

afterwards how they'll be delivered.

I realize now that's not healthy or helpful for me, for my team,

or for the wider organization.

In this space.

I witnessed a brilliant example about four or five years ago where in an

executive meeting the chief executive asked a leader to progress a piece of

work that she had just presented a sap.

Her response I thought was brilliant.

She said, I'm happy to do that, but I need to flag now that I do not have the

resource and capacity to do this right now, along with the other priorities

that my team is currently working on.

If this is going to take priority, please can we agree which deliverables can wait.

She was polite and respectful, but she clearly articulated her and her

team's position, and guess what?

The world didn't stop turning nobody kicked off.

The response was actually a really positive one, which demonstrated to

me that actually it's okay to set those boundaries and deliver some

expectation setting into the organization even with the chief executive.

Another reason for me to be clear on my boundaries is to help me deliver

strategic objectives for the organization.

Both of the things I've just talked about in terms of boundaries are important in

helping to deliver strategic objectives, but using boundaries to set expectations,

seek clarity and protect resource and capacity, as well as ensuring the

right skill sets and experience of being deployed can only be positive

in helping to deliver the priorities and objectives for the business.

So when I have to be assertive and when I need to talk about my boundaries and

communicate them, I always keep that in the back of my mind because what I'm

doing is helping me deliver strategic objectives for the wider organization.

I sometimes think boundary setting can be seen as selfish and people

can feel guilty about doing it.

But I hope as we move through this conversation, you can see there are

lots of really positive reasons that go beyond just protecting your own self,

your own time and energy in terms of why we would set professional boundaries.

Finally the point that I wanted to talk about around boundary

setting for me as a comms director is that I believe it improves my

decision making as a senior leader.

One of the things it's really easy to do as a communicator and as a

leader is to fill your diary with meetings, and I've noticed that as

we work more and more in this virtual space, that these meetings are quite

honestly back to back with no break.

In order for me to participate fully in a meeting and to enable me to contribute

to and to make informed decisions, it is absolutely okay for me to be

boundaried with my time, and that also means being boundaried with my diary.

Blocking out time to prepare for meetings.

Read papers is all part of my role.

It's not a nice to have, and this prep time is also something that I've noticed

is easily consumed by other people.

If you are not clear that it is not to be moved from your diary.

There will of course be exceptions when there'll be times it feels

like a meeting might need to be prioritized over your prep time.

But it's about being really clear that a conversation has to happen about that,

not just an assumption that your prep time is free time for another meeting.

So these are just some of the reasons why I feel it's important

to set boundaries in my role.

There are many others and I know that you will have your own.

As I said, being boundary does take practice though.

One of the things I need to get better at is protecting my own time and mental

capacity, particularly in times of change or challenge in the workplace.

In all my roles as a senior communications leader, I found that I've often been the

confidant for other leaders, the person people come to for a common sense check or

advice about how something's impacted them or others or even I guess, for therapy.

I do see this as part of my role, and I also see it as a privilege to

have those trusted relationships.

I've realized that I still need to be boundaried in this space.

Otherwise, it can become all consuming and really rather draining.

I have also realized that there will be times when the change or uncertainty

impacts on me personally, and if I don't set clear boundaries in this space,

then I actually deem myself a disservice as I'm not giving myself the emotional

headspace to deal with my own thoughts and feelings and process what's happening.

While I struggle as a people pleaser to always be boundaried in this

type of scenario, things that help me are asking the other person

what their desired outcome is.

Do they just need to vent?

Do they want support from me to seek a solution?

It's really important to know what that other person is expecting

from the conversation that they're going to have with you.

I also think it's important to only start that conversation if you know

you have the time for it, and to be clear with the other person about

how much time you have available.

If you need to have the conversation at a later date, then say, you

want to be able to give it the time and respect that it deserves.

And finally, on that point, , Feel empowered to say that the situation

also has an impact on you and that you want to share your feelings about it.

If of course you do, you might not always.

I would say don't underestimate the mental load you carry.

As a communications leader, we are privy to all sorts of highly sensitive,

challenging information, and we have to meet so many different demands on

our time and manage so many different relationships that it's important to

recognize this and know when you need to take some time out to recharge.

My final word in this episode about boundaries.

Prioritize your life as much as your work.

Book the leave Switch off your phone.

Don't reply to that email immediately.

Leave work on time.

I know it won't always be possible as we have lots of responsibilities in the

roles we have as communicators and as leaders, but we also only have one life.

Key to all of the things that I've said today is communication, and

if as communications professionals we can't communicate our boundaries

clearly to others, then quite frankly, I'm not sure what chance

anyone else has of doing the same.

So put into practice not only your boundary setting, but all of those

excellent communication skills that you've got, and start to provide that clarity

both to yourself and others about what your boundaries are in the workplace.

As part of the Cat's Pajamas Thrive Programme, we run a complete

session on boundary setting and I've also run workshops on the very

subject of setting boundaries, how to do it and why it's important.

So if you want to know more, please do get in touch.

And if you want to carry on this conversation, then drop me a line

or engage with me on the socials.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Behind the Bob.

I'd love for you to subscribe on your favourite podcast platform

and leave a rating or a review.

You can also engage with me over on the socials..

Find me on Instagram and Twitter @catspjs_uk.