In this episode of 'celebrating small family businesses,' hosts Natalie and JJ, the dynamic sister duo behind the podcast 'Confessions of a Reluctant Caregiver,' share their heartfelt journey of growing up in a tight-knit, small-town family in Tennessee.

They discuss their upbringing, accentuated by strong familial bonds and community involvement, which deeply influenced their current roles as podcasters and businesswomen.

The episode highlights their grandparents' impactful legacy as community-minded small business owners, the sisters' seamless transition into launching a successful podcast, and the invaluable lessons learned from working together despite their differing personalities and professional backgrounds.

Through candid conversations, they underscore the importance of passion, authenticity, and maintaining strong family relationships in both personal and professional realms.

We had a very insightful and entertaining conversation with these two dynamic personalities and are proud to share that here.

You can find more information and their podcast and their larger mission at https://www.confessionsofareluctantcaregiver.com/ or

Connect on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ConfessionsOfAReluctantCaregiver

Follow on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/confessionsofareluctantcaregiver/

Watch the video version on YouTube at https://youtu.be/BL9MOjX5IcQ

Visit the Kuder Consulting Group website to learn more about additional ways we support small family businesses in their journey. https://kuderconsultinggroup.com

00:00 Welcome to Celebrating Small Family Businesses

00:43 The Story of Three Sisters from Tennessee

01:41 The Legacy of Family Business and Community Service

05:05 Childhood Memories in the Family Business

13:29 Launching a Podcast: From Idea to Reality

20:49 The Impact of Personal Stories on Business Success

25:13 Embracing the Personal Brand in Business

28:57 The Essence of Family Businesses

28:57 The Power of Branding and Community in Business

29:29 Navigating Privacy and Publicity in Family Business

30:00 The Rich History and Emotional Ties of Family Businesses

31:21 Sisterhood and Business: A Dynamic Duo

33:13 The Challenges and Triumphs of Working with Family

38:30 Understanding and Respecting Different Work Styles

41:09 The Importance of Communication and Relationship Maintenance

43:18 Balancing Family and Business: A Personal Journey

50:18 Reflecting on Family Legacy and the Future

John and Connie: Hi and welcome

to another episode of celebrating

small family businesses.

And today we are

celebrating Natalie and JJ.

Now you've both got different last names.

So I rather than mess up,

I just went with first.

Natalie Elliott Handy: Oh,

we're totally fine with that.

John and Connie: Okay.

And Natalie and JJ are hosts among

other accomplishments are hosts

of a podcast called Confessions

of a Reluctant Caregiver.

which we have had the honor of being

guests on as well as listening to some.

So it's a very worthy cause that we are

happy to, to celebrate and two sisters

yes.

Two of three sisters.

So let's start there.

I'm an only child.

I, well, you uh, what's it

like being three sisters in, a

little town in Tennessee was it?

J.J. Elliott Hill: a little

town in Tennessee, I always

jump in and say, I'm the oldest.

Natalie would normally tell

you that Natalie is the middle.

And then we have a younger sister, Emily.

So,

Natalie Elliott Handy: She's the baby.

J.J. Elliott Hill: three of us.

Yeah, she is the baby.

And, uh, it's.

It's been fantastic.

Uh, I think we, we always say we're

thick as thieves and always have been.

Uh, we always have had one another's back.

It's kind of been interesting to

always have a best friend or, or worst

enemy sleeping in the bed beside you.

I don't know.

So we always shared a

room when we were little.

So a big room.

Uh, so it's, it's been fun.

We were raised in a small

town in Tennessee and, uh,

have, I think it was good.

Natalie, what do you think?

I mean, we grew up pretty good.

Natalie Elliott Handy: I mean, I

mean, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I mean,

I think we had, um, we were very

fortunate to be surrounded by family.

All of our family lived near each

other and, um, we are, we had, uh,

Our grandparents were influential

in the community because they were

small business owners and we're

from rural east Tennessee.

And so, you know, typically they

were, you know, my grandmother played,

uh, piano in the church and, and

typically, you know, small business

owners are typically leaders in small,

especially in rural communities,

business owners, uh, typically are

leaders in other parts of the community.

And, uh, that was no

different with our family.

And so we very much grew up with a

attitude, uh, of service and, um,

rather it was a good service in, in the

business side of the house or serving

other individuals in our community.

It was very important to our grandparents.

And, um, that's something that.

Is it was instilled in us

and that we carry over today?

John and Connie: Wow, I'm so

glad you brought that out.

That is a dimension we really haven't

talked about, but yes, the connection

between, especially in the smaller

communities, between, yes, the business

owner and the, and their activity in

the community, they, they couldn't be,

, invisible or, or disliked and expect to

have a thriving business, could they?

So it really, they go together.

J.J. Elliott Hill: yeah.

And I think there was also the

aspect of social responsibility.

I know we've talked about that.

That was really important for our family.

It was a poor coal town.

There were coal mines, uh,

up in the mountains above it.

And so part of that social responsibility,

I think, even before that was a,

a, Uh, really politically correct

or politically term political term

was, um, they always made sure that

the community was taken care of.

Um, it was, the hardware was in business

for, uh, almost 50 years prior to that.

My grandfather actually owned a

business that was a, uh, a restaurant

that was adjacent to the hardware.

And, um, people always fed, but the

hardware in particular, they sold

kerosene, they sold coal and, uh,

and that type of community, um.

Money comes in in particular in the

spring because people have crops in

addition to their jobs in the mines.

And so when people needed fuel, kerosene

or anything like that for the winter,

and they didn't have enough money

for it, we had a cigar box and they

would just go tear a piece of paper

off the register and write down, you

know, John and Connie, and they owe

$4 for kerosene from back in December.

And then in the spring they would

come in and pay the, the cigar box.

Natalie Elliott Handy: Yeah, we ran that

our grandmother they ran credit and so and

it wasn't like credit like people

think now so But you know, everybody

knew everybody and there was a lot a

level of of taking care of each other

I mean our grandfather used to drive

people to go vote and um, they thought

that was so important people had the

right to vote and um, so I mean You

Especially in rural communities, um,

they tend, you knew your neighbor,

you knew a lot about your neighbor.

And, uh, and so, um, but you, you did.

It was the right thing to do.

I think that's really where we, we

come from is a right thing to do.

mentality.

John and Connie: Beautiful.

Absolutely beautiful.

That is so cool.

So did you guys work in the, either

the restaurant or the hardware

store or both when you were young?

Natalie Elliott Handy: Yes,

J.J. Elliott Hill: Yes.

Natalie Elliott Handy: but no.

Uh, so the reason I say yes and no

is I will, I have no qualms in saying

I was my grandfather's favorite.

So I, there's 11 cousins

and, we're all very in ages,

but we used to be dropped off.

at the hardware because our

parents both worked and, , we'd

be dropped off and I would help.

So I learned to count on the cash

register when I was, um, four and five.

I would, I would do, uh, get to

ring up folks who would come in

and that's how I learned to count.

And so, uh, and then I would count checks

in the back when my grandfather was

closing up and, and it was, you know, it

was nobody, it wasn't a perfect childhood.

Nobody has a perfect childhood.

I don't believe in those.

I think everybody has normal

things that ups and downs.

We are very, our family, every

Sunday, our family had, um, Sunday

dinner after church together.

I mean, we are very traditional.

Uh, family, and I don't want to

say southern family because I think

other families across the U.S.

can relate to that is that it's when

families live closer together because

you didn't have as many distractions,

um, technology and and people now

people move farther away, whereas

in rural communities, you, you stay.

And I mean, if they, you know, we

lived outside of Knoxville, Tennessee.

And so, you know, we had one aunt who

lived in Knoxville and that was the

big city that was like 20 minutes away.

And so we're like, Oh, they're more

affluent, like, you know, culture

kind of feel like not even like rich.

It was just, you get to see something

bigger than the rural area that

we were in, but we were very,

very blessed to be a part of it.

And again, it goes back to learning,

like, How I live and how I manage as a

supervisor in my workplace and how we

operate businesses ourselves is based

on how our grandparents and my aunts and

our uncle, who also ran the hardware,

um, and all of our cousins worked there.

Um, I never got paid.

I just was there torturing people.

J.J. Elliott Hill: Well, you know, but

I think it also taught, you know, I say

for us, it taught us a lot of customer

service skills.

You know, we were kind of the greeters,

but, you know, it's, um, it was amazing.

You know, Natalie talks

about learning how to count.

I worked with my grandmother,

kind of at the desk area.

That's where she did invoicing,

you know, or she learned to order.

But it's interesting what as females

as the girls, because there's three

of us, we were the girls, you know,

I would go and watch how they shook

paint on the old paint shaker.

Natalie Elliott Handy: Put your

finger on it and it's like,

J.J. Elliott Hill: Yeah, and I'd love

to watch how they made keys on the old,

so I'm, I'm that technical mind and they

would go out and shovel coal or sand.

And like Natalie said, our cousin,

uh, our cousins, the boys, they

all worked there during the summer.

Some of them worked after high school.

It was just, and again, we don't want

to say it's a perfect family, but

it's everybody learned their lessons.

Um, it was, you know, I learned

how to weigh things on a scale by

weighing nails, you know, , it was

a good childhood back when , I don't

think people will ever see what that

kind of childhood is like anymore.

I think it'll be hard to find

that, but we learned a lot that we

absolutely carry over with today.

Natalie Elliott Handy: Oh, and I straight

up got in trouble for mixing feed.

So I'm going to tell you, we had big

barrels of feed that people would come

in and I would just move all the seeds

from, I'm like, cause it was a big scoop.

And my uncle, again, I was the favorite.

J.J. Elliott Hill: Yeah.

Natalie Elliott Handy: I got

away with a lot of things.

J.J. Elliott Hill: It was.

It was grass seed and she would be

mixing like Kentucky the bluegrass

with different turfs and we got

in a lot of trouble for that.

It was mainly Natalie so, but

she could run really fast,

John, Connie, so it was okay.

She was little.

John and Connie: It It was

just really fun to play with

that big scoop, right?

Natalie Elliott Handy: Yes!

There's

John and Connie: And she was the favorite!

Natalie Elliott Handy: There

was something so therapeutic

about mixing all the seed.

J.J. Elliott Hill: We We just let her

think that she was the favorite, but I

think it also taught us to be in awe of so

many things that we take so many things.

We, we were so lucky because when we

went to school, there were so many

things that we were able to see.

And it's kind of funny things

like they had a very large

safe and the, in the store.

It was in the store.

And so to be able to see the

mechanics of things like that,

and to watch, we were in awe.

We had a Coke machine on the front of

the street and it had Nehi grapes in it.

And so, and Yoo-Hoo chocolates and Upper

10's, like the back when RC was the thing,

and we would get to go open the And so.

Natalie Elliott Handy: in it.

Nobody told me that that was like a job.

And I was like, can I put the cans in?

J.J. Elliott Hill: yeah.

And so I think we lived in a state

of awe , and didn't realize how

great our life was , but it was,

and we learned so much from it.

And I love to share the stories

when we were kids, because it was,

it was, we, we laugh and we say it

was a Camelot of sorts for a small,

well, it was a large East Tennessee

family, but it was a very good life.

It's a childhood that I'll look

back with a lot of fondness.

John and Connie: That's wonderful!

And, Gosh, I hear so much in there, but

those family values that you were saying

you learned so much from about customer

service and how it influenced you later.

And I've heard this story from

multiple people is sometimes they,

they pick, they learn things from a

work culture, you know, that working

in a, just happened to get into a

place that really nurtures people.

Sometimes it's family, but, but

the, the people that go on and,

and, start their own businesses

and do well, seem to have something

that they're drawing on like that

from their past.

And all those, different things

of weight, practical, transferable

skills, like weighing nails.

Natalie Elliott Handy: Well, and,

and it was the hangout for The older

people, so the hardware was the was, uh,

people would come and sit and hang out.

And that's when people would hang

out and you'd have all these older

gentlemen who might be retired.

They come by and they'd hang out.

And I can remember that's

where I learned to really.

You children learn by

observing what's around them.

And so, and that's, again, I, I never

knew a stranger, but I got to, I got to

stand on my little stool and work the cash

register and take money and count change.

And then, but I can remember.

Listening to the gentleman setting

around this huge is the only there

was this big giant furnace right

in the center of the hardware.

And that was the way that

the hardware was heated.

And so everybody would

come and sit around it.

And you'd hear them telling these stories.

And that is something like.

I just, I love, I have, I'm

very endeared to older people.

I've always been very endeared

and have just a high level

of respect for my elders.

And that was solely because of the way

we grew up in the church, the way we

grew up in the hardware, being surrounded

by, and you understood, like the next

steps, you understood what you were

doing at various ages, because we truly

grew up in an intergenerational setting.

And, and I think that is something that

is also missing from our culture now

is really learning from one another.

And JJ was older than

me, but I had cousins.

I mean, we ranged probably

J.J. Elliott Hill: Uh, Risa was

in probably kindergarten and

our oldest cousin had graduated

Natalie Elliott Handy: So we got about

15 years

J.J. Elliott Hill: from high school.

So about all of

Natalie Elliott Handy: And then all of our

aunts and uncles, our mom is one of five.

Our dad was one of five.

And so, and family is just, again,

we're a very typical rural community.

You, your family doesn't typically leave.

Everybody lives within

a 10 to 15 mile radius.

And that's exactly where we were.

Yeah, what a different world.

Yeah, it really was.

It really was.

J.J. Elliott Hill: I got

to say, I kind of liked it.

I mean, I favored it.

So I don't know if I

could go back there for

just a little while.

I think I'd be okay with that.

John and Connie: Yeah, I think

there's a lot of people that

would agree with you on that.

Simpler times and,

Natalie Elliott Handy: Yes.

John and Connie: and,

and tighter community.

So that thread that you just

mentioned about, the, revere for,

for older folks, uh, that seems

to lead into where you are now.

So you guys, at some point, I

mean, you've had careers, right?

You, you've each had your own

career, separate corporate careers.

Right.

And, and then sometime, I want

to say a little over a year ago.

So I, I, I discovered you watching you

speak from a stage, uh, in January at the,

uh,

J.J. Elliott Hill: don't

know how we got there,

Natalie Elliott Handy: When it's

John and Connie: But you were, you

were celebrating a year, about a year

at that, I think at that event, which

is, that is a big accomplishment,

by the way, in the podcasting world.

Yeah.

A hundred episodes in a year are both

big milestones that say You're ahead

of like, I think 95 percent of the rest.

Um, according to this one guy, he

said, you know, that's his cutoff.

He calls it pod fade.

Most, 97 percent of podcasts

don't make it a year.

And if you're starting a podcast to make

money, you're probably better off just

going and starting another business.

Odds wise, you know,

but like purely from the So,

having laid all that groundwork,

sorry, I'm, I'm preaching.

Um, how did you guys

decide to do a podcast?

And that's your business

today, together, right?

Your family business.

Natalie Elliott Handy: Yeah.

Yeah.

So, um, JJ and I, JJ's background

is in corporate finance.

And my background is in human services.

Both of us have noticed

the service piece of it.

, we never left service.

, and so I think that's really and I

know, even though JJ was in finance,

we won't hold that against her.

Uh,

J.J. Elliott Hill: true.

I was a banker for almost 20

years, but even after, yeah, no, I

left, uh, and I'll, I'll interject

that in there that after I left, I

was downsized out of my corporate

job and thought the world had ended.

And then I decided I, with my

partner, with my husband, we

decided we'd open our own business.

He was retired.

And from that, I, uh, So far,

we've been in five small family

businesses and sold two, but we just,

there was something in there that

said, why go back into corporate?

And I always stepped out of larger banks.

I got out of the corporate

environment with large banks and

always went back to a community bank.

So I think that's really

important when we talk about.

Smaller communities, family businesses.

That's where I always found my heart

because I knew the people better.

I knew the owners and it

meant something more to me.

Um, but the road that led us to this is,

uh, I think Natalie goes back to servant

and I think a really personal, intimate

sort of feeling about what we owe people.

But that was what, two years

Natalie Elliott Handy: ago?

Yeah, it was, it was, um, in

2022, it was, um, my husband was

diagnosed with head and neck cancer.

And so we, the sisters, who I always

refer to the sisters, not Catholic, we're

Baptist, , The youngest sister came and

Emily came and moved in to my house and

stayed with my animals because we, my

husband and I temporarily moved up to

New York city for his cancer treatments.

And then when we came back, um, felt

like something was off, couldn't

figure out what was going on.

And in talking with JJ and Emily about

it, they said, you know, we also have

these same feelings because at the same

time, uh, that I was going through and

working with Jason to go through the, his,

cancer treatments, which were successful

, we were also caring for our mom who

has been living in with Parkinson's

now for over, well over 20 years.

J.J. Elliott Hill: 20 years

Natalie Elliott Handy: And our dad had

passed away, , 13 years ago , this year.

And so we supported our mom

and we were going through all

this stuff at the same time.

Cause our mom was young.

Our mom was at that point , In

her sixties, late, well,

she's still, she's 69 now.

And so I felt like there

was something going on.

Once we identified ourself self

identified as caregivers, um, and

talking to, and we learned more about it.

It was like this whole world

opened up and I saw on Facebook and

advertisement to learn how to podcast.

And I was like, that's a great idea.

And I've done radio in the past.

I'd, I'd looked at, it.

Potentially going on to do radio.

When I was younger, I had actually wanted,

to be, uh, on radio doing counseling

and decided not to, uh, not to do it.

My mom was mortified because I kept joking

with her just to get a rise out of her.

That was going to be Dr.

Ruth on TV or on, on radio.

And she was just like, mortified.

Notice that good Baptist background.

And so you can tell I'm the middle child.

But I said, Hey, I think

we should start a podcast.

And they were both like, okay.

And none of us had ever

listened to a podcast.

And so JJ and I immediately

J.J. Elliott Hill: that's really

important because I, I need to say,

I didn't know how to find a podcast.

Natalie Elliott Handy: I didn't either.

That's what makes it so great.

And so JJ and I put on our corporate hats

and we were like, well, if we're going to

do this, we're going to do it for real.

And so I was so jazzed about this.

I took the class, uh, and, uh.

And so we were excited about

it and, and JJ and I were

like, Emily just follows along.

Emily will tell you, she's just like,

okay, just tell me what you want me to do.

And so we were like, well, if we're

going to have a podcast, how are

people going to know about us?

So we thought, well, we're

going to need a website.

And so we immediately went into, and then

it was, well, we, if we have a website,

then we still need to find people.

Cause how people find our website, we.

We need social media.

And so we took all of our

background experiences and applied

them to the podcasting world.

And a lot of people told us we've

done it backwards because we

started everything in September

and we launched in January of 2023.

And so 2022 is when we started everything,

we built our following, we wanted

to do a grassroots kind of growth.

And so we just, we put out this

really ridiculous challenge,

which aligns with mostly me.

And JJ just says, yes, let's do it.

Um, we wanted to be the number

one podcast on January 24th, 2023.

And so we, we would call out people like

Joe Rogan, you can take the day off.

Michelle Obama, you can

take, you know what I mean?

Like all these big national podcasters,

international podcasters, and

we're like, make Carrie number one.

And so we enlisted tons, like everybody

we knew and we didn't do too bad.

I mean, I don't think we were number one.

J.J. Elliott Hill: well, you know, it's

funny because at the first pod fest I went

to, we had just launched two days prior.

And so I was a little bummed

Natalie didn't go with me.

I was, but I

Natalie Elliott Handy:

Yeah, I was working.

I had to still work.

We didn't quit our day jobs.

J.J. Elliott Hill: Yeah.

So I said to him, he said, I said,

you know, we just launched and we, we

wanted to beat Joe Rogan and he kind

of laughed, he was like, Oh yeah.

You know, you just launched.

And I said, we got a thousand

downloads on our first day.

And he looked at me like I was crazy.

And he said, are you serious?

And I said, yeah, so

we only got a thousand.

And he said, do you understand

that most people on their first

day are lucky to get five?

And I was like, really?

And he said, JJ, imagine this a

thousand people showed up in a room.

To listen to what you had to say.

And at that point I was

like, that's pretty cool.

I would never imagine that.

John and Connie: On day one without

knowing what you, without any pre, you

know, uh, reputation for, uh, from

hearing from other people.

My goodness.

You

J.J. Elliott Hill: yeah.

So, but I think.

John and Connie: Amazing launch.

J.J. Elliott Hill: I think one of the

reasons that it, it, it stuck and that

it hit people and that day and those

episodes, because it was so personal

and we told our story and I think

every business has to be personal.

And I think that's key to

a small business owner.

I know, um, If you look at it, it's

hard to look at a business and not

say, how am I going to make money?

Okay.

What is, you know, this is my drive.

How am I going to make money?

But if that's your main goal in going into

a business, if you don't have a passion

for it, that's hard for me to ever do.

Randomly what we opened, , we had

a hobby shop in the basement of our

house, , which was a terrible idea.

, but it was for, Terrible.

Um, but it was, , a saltwater fish hobby

shop because my husband was really big.

We love saltwater fish.

And what happened was people

kept on showing up at our house.

And what we ended up doing was once I

lost my job, we opened up just, we had

some friends that owned a building and

what that ended up being was one of the

largest stores in the country in like

Eight years, we were 10, 000 square feet,

but we had such a passion for service.

You know, one of our favorite

accounts was going to nursing homes.

We did custom design work

and things like that.

And so that's passion and that's heart.

And that's finding the piece

of the business that you love.

And that, that goes out, people see

that, and that's how you make a business.

And just like what we did, Natalie shared

some of the hardest stories about her

time with Jason, and they were hard

stories, um, about difficulties with

marriage and taking, um, That those

cancer treatments, parts of the caregiving

story that most people don't share.

And when people hear that

and that authenticity, that's

what drives people to a

small business.

You don't get that.

You know, you don't want to call

out the big businesses, but you

don't get that a bigger businesses.

It's hard to get that

personal relationship because

people just show up to work.

There are nine to five.

If you're a small business

owner, you're living it.

You've cleaned the

toilets.

You've, you know, Not got groceries.

So your employees can get groceries

and, but you have such a passion

John and Connie: Mm hmm.

Yeah.

J.J. Elliott Hill: and I think

that's what makes us different.

John and Connie: There's a piece

about knowing the owner too.

Um, you know, when

you, when you're working with a

smaller business, you know, you, you,

you know that, you know, the owner,

and then you can go to that owner.

And, and you know, the

buck stops there where

when you're working with a corporate, you

know, you're such layers and layers and

you're never going to talk to the owner.

J.J. Elliott Hill: they know us by

name, you know, they know Confessions

of a Reluctant Caregiver, but they

also know it's JJ and Natalie.

We go by the sisters, but same

thing with our small business.

We had a name of our business, but

they also called it, They would go

to this 10, 000 square foot building.

They would go to Dexter and JJ's.

Dexter's my husband.

So it didn't have to be,

they're going, they're going

to run over to Dexter and JJ's.

It was, it didn't have

the fish store name.

So I think you're exactly right

that it is a very personal story.

And as we get into, it's that

affiliation that I can know these people.

I relate to them very personally.

I think that's what the podcast,

I think that's what every business

venture that Natalie and I are in,

that's what we want is that we want to.

Be open about it.

You get us.

That's what it is.

And if you don't, if you can't see

what our mission is, then it's hard.

We're very, it's very important to us.

I think that, that we align with

other businesses as partners, as

sponsors that share a common mission,

a common goal, common values.

It would be, it would not be.

Thinkable for us to align with

someone that didn't share that, that,

Natalie Elliott Handy: Yeah.

We're not willing to sacrifice

integrity for dollars.

And so we, you have to align with us.

And I think that's really important.

And, and ultimately, and this is what I

saw in my grandparents, but then you got

to understand our cousins, our uncles

are all small business owners too.

I look back at it now and I'm like,

Oh, they did technically own their

own business, whether it's heating

and air conditioning or our cousins,

a chiropractor or, you know, whatever.

And then JJ having her fish dynasty,

which I kept telling her she should offer

up the sushi side of the fish store.

Keep the other fish in line, but

she did not ever align with that.

It's fine.

Whatever.

That's

J.J. Elliott Hill: that was

a bad business practice,

Natalie Elliott Handy: like, you

know, whatever it's sushi, it's fish.

You want to, you want

live, you want whatever.

Um, but

J.J. Elliott Hill: bad for

Natalie Elliott Handy: yeah, so I

think, um, I think you are the brand

in a small business, like allowing

people to know who you are.

And, you know, I think.

I don't understand like part of it for

folks who choose to keep that separate.

Um, and I think it's just

because of what I've experienced

that it's personal people.

It's like church.

You don't go to church for the building.

You go to the church for the people.

And so when you, what is your experience?

And so customer experience is so

important and ingrained in us both.

And so rather it's through

the podcast and what's in it.

That feel that we want to come

across or what I do every day.

I'm a human service concierge.

If I don't know the answer, I

am going to find it for you.

And I am quick.

I am quick under crisis because

families for me, I work on the mental

health side of the house for my

full time job and I live this way.

I've approached everything,

whether it's talent recruitment

or foster parent recruitment or

providing services and connecting

families with the right services.

It is about being responsive.

It is about, they know they can trust me.

And even if I don't have the answer,

they trust that I will get it to them.

And they come back to me every time.

That is building brand.

That's building brand loyalty and

I am an extension of the brand.

And so for us, that's what

we do with the podcast.

And that's why we are, you know, We

are, we are the brand for Confessions.

It is not just the podcast.

We are the brand and people

are like, Oh, that's a sister.

That's a, that's a friend.

That's my girlfriend.

Cause I always joke.

I'm like, you know, we're

pretty, but we're not too pretty.

I'm like, we don't want to be too pretty.

I mean, I nailed it today

on this makeup, none.

And so we want to be relatable.

We want to be the girls next door that

are your friends that are not intimidating

and that they're like, Oh my gosh, let's

just set up and we can just chat away.

And that's what we want people

to have a sense and feel.

J.J. Elliott Hill: But I think even in

our corporate careers, we dedicate and

we have dedicated, I dedicated so much

of myself to that personal relationship.

I know Natalie does to this day.

When you get to that point and you give

that much to a corporate career, you

have to sit back and go, wait a minute.

I am a brand and I, my heart,

I put it out on the line.

I should do this for myself.

I could do this.

Let me offer this for myself.

Let me be my own boss.

And that is a big step.

Like there's a, Canyon.

You got to go across to get to

that as a small business owner.

But when you're ready to take

that leap and say, you know

what, I can do this for myself.

I do it so great for someone else.

Let me take the chance and do it.

Those people, they follow you.

You know, they, they follow

your, your mission, your, your

personality, even with bigger, even

with different types of businesses,

that drive and that attraction.

That's what you have.

It's going to carry over into other

business lines at the same business line.

But to take that risk, there's,

there's, something about it.

Uh, I know Natalie and I love her

like, all right, let's, let's do it.

John and Connie: And that, I'm trying to

come back to the family part of it because

it's so woven into what you're doing.

It's, it's just this

underlying assumption almost.

And, and you know, your family feel,

you're talking about your personal

brand, uh, and both in Confessions

and in corporate, you're bringing

that those family values and that

family feel to your personal brand

in corporate as well as your podcast.

And it's just, it's just,

it's just part of who you are.

J.J. Elliott Hill: Yeah.

John and Connie: And

I think, you know, talking about the

hardware store, that family business,

you know, it was a gathering place.

That was , a big part of the brand,

I'm sure, was the, that gathering

place and those men sitting around

the stove and, and the restaurant

next door and all, oh my gosh, yes, I

mean that's, and that's very hard to

compete with, I'll say it that way.

A well defined brand like that,

that's based on a family or a

person, very hard to compete with.

and that's what I think a

lot of small businesses miss.

Our family business,

, was, , the citrus business.

So it wasn't as public, but,

but my father was very, private.

He wanted, you know, it w

you don't talk about family

business outside the business.

And, and so that focus on

privacy, I think was a limitation.

I mean, it was protective,

but it was also a limitation.

Natalie Elliott Handy: Hmm

J.J. Elliott Hill: I think about for us

in the hardware and how, well, you know,

your financial information, you kind of

keep, you know, that was a Southern thing.

Maybe it's everybody, you keep

that kind of tied to the belt.

But, you know, I think about all

that we had, my grandmother, we have

pictures of us in this hardware.

So you think about this 20 foot

ceiling and these tin tiles, uh, that

were part of the roof, but there, you

know, if you remember Olin Mills, you

know, those big, huge oil portraits.

They, they lined, you know, see a five

different families, five different

children, and then all of their children.

And so we have, you know, I

remember that there were large,

ornate framed photos of us.

And so all of us were there on

the very, you know, somehow they

got stuck up there and this old

hardware, which prior to being a

hardware, that building was a stable.

So it had, uh.

Yeah.

It had wood floors that were, you know, so

it's all this historical, like, you know,

I think about it and my heart just is

like full, but there are these, there were

these big pictures of all of us, you know,

it was like, Oh, that's JJ, you know, when

she was two and I'm, you know, 16 now.

And, uh, but at that, you

know, they knew us even when

we weren't there, they knew us.

And so,

John and Connie: And I remember when I

was a little boy, there was a hardware

in Winter Haven, Boland hardware,

and wood floors and the high ceilings

and the tin, you know, all the stuff

you're talking about, you know,

it's, that's, yeah, that's an era.

Wow.

Natalie Elliott Handy: So I

think I will say this though.

Um, we are sisters first and then

we over here, and then we are

also business owners together.

And that is something that is different

than it's working with your family, but JJ

and I are equal partners in the podcast.

And so FYI, in case everybody

thinks that we are like besties,

like we're sisters and sometimes

we get on each other's nerves.

And so it is, it's really funny because

we've had some very direct heated

conversations before, because JJ

and I, I am very type A personality.

JJ is also a type A personality,

but we're different.

And I think the most unexpected thing that

in going into business with my sibling.

Uh, very different, I think, than

going into business with your spouse.

Because JJ can speak to

that, , because you can leave him

and you don't get to leave me.

And so it's, we're super tight.

You got to understand JJ and Emily

and I are all two years apart.

And so we're super, super tight.

But, we will argue at times like

sisters but it is, our work is different.

So I, how I thought of JJ and how

JJ works, like how I know her as a

sister, her work is different and

my work is a little bit different.

And so in those first, I

don't even say months, year.

It was, it is honing in on our

strengths and being able to say, you

do this, you do that, and not, um,

J.J. Elliott Hill: And then say, if you're

not the boss of me, I'm not doing that.

Natalie Elliott Handy: Emily

has told me you are not my boss.

And I'm like, well then don't

act like a, like a staff member.

J.J. Elliott Hill: You know, that is,

Natalie Elliott Handy: It is so

J.J. Elliott Hill: interesting dynamics.

Um, and one of the other things we

would say with a small business is

John and Connie: We're not

leaving that, so I'm going to.

come back, but go, go ahead.

J.J. Elliott Hill: Step away though,

because what we find ourselves doing

is that when we talk to one another,

it's da, da, da, business only.

And there are those days.

And our youngest sister is the one

that called us to our attention.

She said, you never call and ask about me.

You never call anymore and

say, Hey, what's the dog doing?

Hey, how's Brandon?

Hey, how, you know, how is this?

And that's the thing I miss.

And that was a call out.

Like that was a step.

Holy crap.

We are, you know, this

business is important.

What we do is important, but how

would you sacrifice that at the cost?

Would you, would you do that at

the cost of your relationship?

So you have to make sure that's something

you have to work at to make sure that

there's separation of church and state.

There's separation of sisterhood

and business.

John and Connie: Well, and family of

these, yeah, so there's, there's the, the

business, the family business, but there's

also the business of family and they're,

they're intertwined, but they're not

the same and they, there has

to be a fluid balance, right?

They're, they're going to be

there's going to be seasons, right?

when when you launched this, were

preparing to launch this, it sounds

like it was an all out frontal

assault on social media world.

So, you know, there probably wasn't a

lot of time for, you know, sister, sister

chats, but then you come back, right?

So, so there are, there is, there's

always going to be temporary

imbalances we can't maintain.

I

just, it's unreasonable to think we could.

Every day can be the same, Right?

But wow, you guys have, so I have

typical questions that I ask and you've

hit on them or answered them already,

but I still want to bring them out

just so we, you know, so one of them

is, what's a challenge that you've

overcome that other small businesses

could, could learn from in terms, you

know, that you've overcome together?

So you talked about.

And I really want to go to, if I may,

and stop me if it doesn't work, but

the, where you talked about, you know,

you fight and you argue and you, so

you figured, I mean, that's where

a lot of families get stuck, right?

They're, they're, they don't

know how to fight fair.

They don't know how to have those,

the, the family battles or the

family dynamics in the business

and make it work for the business.

And, and, and find, I don't

know, clarify the roles.

That's part, I know that's part of

it, but, How have, so how have you

guys, What have you figured out, And

what would you share, For somebody

else that hasn't figured it out?

J.J. Elliott Hill: I can say

we don't always fight fair.

Natalie Elliott Handy: And we don't,

J.J. Elliott Hill: You know, I think,

I know, but, um, and I, I think for

me is, um, with Natalie, you know,

we, we had a heated, let's call

it a heated debate the other day.

Heated, but in the end, uh, because

here's the thing, Allie's type A and she

says what she wants to say right then.

I am the thinker.

And so I have to think through

my process and then I build up.

And when I explode, then she's like,

holy crap, why are you so mad at me?

And she gets her feelings hurt.

And then she cries or she's

like, I can see it well enough.

I'm like, she never cried.

She's always so mean.

But when we're done with it, When we're

done, there's this little, I'm sorry,

I didn't mean to say what I said.

It takes a little bit of time.

You don't have to regroup right

then, but it's like the next morning.

I think you both have to be thoughtful

and you have to be intentional about okay,

what just happened and why did it happen?

Natalie Elliott Handy: yeah.

And I would say this cause, um, Uh, I

think typically what happens is that

JJ and I are never mad at each other.

It is the stress of things

that are going on and

that's actually what led to it.

And it was this straw that

broke the camel's back.

It might've been something so

minute, like, well, I don't

understand why you didn't do this.

And it was all these other

pressures that came in.

And.

And, um, and I'm about again, I

work in the mental health field, so

I'm all about relationship repair.

I'm never going to run my relationship

with my sister for anything.

I'm just not.

And so it doesn't mean that we're not

allowed to get into an argument because

the other thing about it is that.

And so we have a strong relationship bond,

which means we take that for granted.

We know that we're safe to say

certain things and that, um, and

we have to be careful with that.

You cannot just push that card to the

farthest edge, but you know, sometimes

you say, hurtful things to the people you

love because you know that they're safe.

And so for us, um, we don't,

uh, we, we, we don't typically

get into arguments a lot.

Um, we get frustrated about things

happening and we're like, Oh,

and so she gets right in the car.

Like we're Thelma and Louise.

When we get mad together,

we're like, Ooh, let's just go.

But, um, at each other is not common.

At each other is not common, but it

took us a minute to understand our skill

sets to know JJ does this and Natalie

does this like JJ will laugh at this.

She does not answer

emails as fast as I do.

And I find that exceptionally annoying.

And so I'm like,

J.J. Elliott Hill: Every,

like, five minutes?

I mean, I mean, I might

answer the email tomorrow.

Someone sends it to me at noon

Natalie Elliott Handy:

terrible customer service.

and

J.J. Elliott Hill: At eight a.m.

Natalie Elliott Handy: So

John and Connie: That's the

difference between HR and finance.

With finance, you hold all the cards.

You can, you can afford

to wait, make them wait.

Natalie Elliott Handy:

That's exactly right.

And so, but, but,

does it, but here's the thing, JJ, I

know exactly what she'll respond to and

I know what she doesn't, but I'll also

ping her and say, make sure you see this.

Like, cause she, we get a lot

J.J. Elliott Hill: I say, I saw it.

Natalie Elliott Handy: She's like, check.

So before we even, for today, last night,

the system sent out the reminder and I

was like, don't forget we have this at

eight because I know she, she cuts off.

Email so much better than I do because

in my field, it's always 24 seven.

It's like I'm available seven days a

week because of, you know, children need

foster homes or children need services.

Or if you need acute, if you have an

acute crisis, you have to be always on.

And so I'm always eyeballing

things on my email because that's

how I've operated for 25 years.

Whereas JJ has been in positions

that don't require that level.

And she's, she, and I choose to do it.

So you got to understand,

I am not a martyr.

I am paid, but I am, I

choose to live like that.

And so I had to adjust my expectations of

her to not place my values on top of her

professional values, if that makes sense.

Yes.

Mm

John and Connie: Bingo.

Huge, huge.

I think, I think that's.

So important to call out because

even in a family where we have,

you know, there are a lot of shared

values and there's some assumption.

I think there's an excessive assumption

probably in a lot of families that

the values are shared, especially

generationally, but and in the same order.

J.J. Elliott Hill: Mm hmm.

John and Connie: but but that

recognition of different values.

There's a cognitive bias.

We, uh, we kind of focus

on cognitive biases.

There's one called

fundamental attribution error.

And it's where we assign a

behavior characteristic to someone

or , even a mistake that they make.

We assign that as, as if

it's a character flaw.

It's a permanent fixture of that

person rather than something they did.

And this, and the values is the same

way, you know, that you've got the

person that have got their values and

they're allowed to have different values.

They have to be.

And, navigating that, recognizing

that first and then navigating

that is such a big differentiator.

Yeah, it really, we really had to work

with that when his mom had, um, at

least 14 different kinds of dementia.

So, you know, you had to kind of know

which one you were dealing with at the

time and treat her still as an 85 year

old woman who, you know, had run her life

for a long time and be respectful of that.

Well, there's other stuff coming in and

out of the picture that you're going, Ooh.

What is this?

And now what do we do?

You know, so.

J.J. Elliott Hill: Yeah.

John and Connie: So, separating

the two has been a a big

eye opener for both of us.

And probably saved us in a lot of ways.

And just in our marriage, I'm more

of a detail person, and Connie's

more of a get 'er done person.

And, you know, that's a value, at

core, that's a value difference, right?

It's

J.J. Elliott Hill: Yeah.

John and Connie: And if you don't

resolve that and figure that out,

it's, it's just like this all the time.

J.J. Elliott Hill: Yeah, I will say that,

that because I worked with my husband

in the, the other business, that was,

there are definitely, there's, there

was definitely our, he's the idea guy.

It's very funny.

He, well, let's do this.

He's kind of like Natalie, let's do this.

And then I'm like, do you know

what that's going to take to do?

And I will implement

it, but he has no idea.

Like Natalie has these beautiful ideas.

Let's do this, this, this,

this, and this on the website.

I'm like, are you serious?

If we have to pay somebody to do

that, it's going to cause this.

And she's like, well, I want to do it.

This, this, this, this, this.

And I'm like, do you know how

long that's going to take?

She's got these fantastic ideas.

And that is, I'm like, Oh my gosh.

But same thing with my husband.

Our, we had to, it's kind of funny.

We had to share an office for a little

while and, uh, in our very first building.

And there were moments.

I didn't want to hear him breathe.

I mean, he's open to that.

He knows.

And he would say, Hey, do

you want to, I'm leaving.

Um, do you want to ride

with me to the store?

And I would be like, I would

rather walk to the store.

I wouldn't say that, but I would be like,

I just want the 15 minutes in the car by

Natalie Elliott Handy: I remember

she would tell me that too.

J.J. Elliott Hill: I mean, I would

leave, but I would go a different route.

And the reason is it's

hard to work with family.

And I think if Natalie and I were

in the same town, because I'm in

Florida, Natalie's in Virginia.

So we do a lot of remote work, but she

did recognize really quickly that for

my lifestyle, for the way that I work,

I do have to cut it off at six o'clock.

The expectation is we

do have dinner together.

We do things in the evening.

And she, her, her life, her, the way that

she and her husband work, it's different.

So, and it's, they totally

understand that, but you have

to be respectful of those two,

the way those two families work.

And so, and I think that's been a big

thing for us because when she messages me

at like nine o'clock and then she'll call,

she'll be like, did you get my message?

Okay.

Natalie Elliott Handy: That was early on.

Now I know

J.J. Elliott Hill:

yeah, that was early on.

Now she's like, I'm not

even going to call her.

I mean, why would

Natalie Elliott Handy: she doesn't

really check her email or text message

in any way, but I think it comes back to.

If I'm texting you after a certain

time, it's going to be very important.

I need you to know it, or can it wait?

And so with my position, I have

to do a ton of stuff after hours.

And so, and my husband has,

you know, basically is like.

Job has the patience of job

and, , to put up with me.

He's very different than me.

And, , he knows how I work.

I'm, I'm a 12 hour a day girl and I work.

I only take Saturdays off because

I typically work on Sundays.

, and in the afternoon, and so I, I, but.

That's my personality.

He knew what he was getting

when he got married.

And I try to make sure that I

don't take advantage of that.

And the sisters will be like, Hey,

FYI, don't forget about your husband.

And I'm like,

J.J. Elliott Hill: Who's in there on the

couch?

Uh, go in

Natalie Elliott Handy: But, but, but

even, and then, but, but again, it comes

back to communication, being open and

transparent and being honest about it.

And even if you don't like

the answer, that's okay.

It's still, it's, Okay.

I don't like this, but

I can live with that.

If you

can't live with something, then you better

talk about it some more because it's

going to build up into a blow up and

it's never worth your relationship,

um, over what ultimately the argument,

the arguments about so much more than

what the actual issue at hand is,

John and Connie: Right.

J.J. Elliott Hill: You know, and

that's funny because our dad, when

you say that, Natalie, our dad,

our dad passed away at 58 playing

softball of a massive heart attack.

And you know, we say our mom had

Parkinson's, she's had it for 20 years.

But, We always thought dad

would take care of mom.

And so we inherited mom.

We laughed about that on our podcast.

We got mom, we didn't know how, but,

um, when we talk about the way Natalie

works and she gets so furious when

we say stuff, she works that hard all

the time and we build up this anger.

And then I say to her something like,

I don't want you to die like dad.

And then she just, and so when we talk

about things that build up over time,

sometimes it is a really personal thing.

And so.

So that is when things come out

at their worst, that is, you know,

there's so much care in there that,

but that is when a blow up happens.

And there's just, there's so much

underlying care and concern for

it as well in the family business.

So,

Natalie Elliott Handy: I want to make

sure we don't fight all the time.

It's just.

J.J. Elliott Hill: Oh Oh my gosh,

Natalie Elliott Handy: No!

But JJ and I really strongly

believe in our own opinions.

She taught me that.

She said that one time she goes, I

really believe in my own opinion.

I welcome you to, to dissuade me.

John and Connie: Oh, I love that.

J.J. Elliott Hill: And it's

interesting in our business, my

oldest stepson worked in our business.

He was our store manager.

And he, he had a saying, there

are two rules in our business.

Number one, JJ is always right.

Number two, when in doubt,

refer to rule number one.

Natalie Elliott Handy: And you can tell

John and Connie: Now, I've got to call

out some, the language difference there,

because that's where we work, okay?

So, the second one, the joking

one, the two rules, that's

where a lot of people live.

You know, it's in the

world of right and wrong.

If, if, if, we differ, you know,

each person is in that position of,

well, I'm right and you're wrong.

And that's a very difficult place to be.

Natalie Elliott Handy: Oh,

J.J. Elliott Hill: It is.

John and Connie: But when you, when

you say it, like, I really believe

in my opinion, you're welcome.

I welcome you to, to dissuade

me or persuade me otherwise.

What a difference!

What a different energy that is.

Oh my God, that's brilliant.

Natalie Elliott Handy: Well, and,

and here's the thing I am totally

okay with being, , my solution, not,

I don't want to be right and wrong.

I will, I am okay with allowing

the idea to evolve and because I

am comfortable enough in myself.

That I don't, it doesn't

have to be my way.

And I believe JJ is that way.

So we'll, when we're thinking

about things like, how do we

want to move forward with this?

You know, I have this idea and

I think this is the right way.

And JJ comes back and we were in a

meeting the other day and she was like,

J.J. Elliott Hill: That's what I was

Natalie Elliott Handy: let's,

let's not do this because of this.

And I'm like, Ooh, even better.

Because if you can, if you're

confident in your own ability, then.

You're going to be fine with allowing

the idea to evolve because it was

never about you in the first place.

It's about the mission and what

you're trying to get across.

John and Connie: Right.

Exactly.

J.J. Elliott Hill: It's funny

because we were in a meet.

So in addition to the podcast,

we do series, we do training,

we do speaking events.

So this is not always just a discussion

about a podcast, just so you'll know.

That's not just what we do.

And, um, but it was interesting.

We were in that meeting and we were, we

were planning to do a large series and

training event with another company.

And so this company, Natalie,

Type A, she's rolling out

exactly what we're doing.

And I have missed two meetings.

And so they're all sitting there like,

duh, they are just afraid to talk.

I think I look at their face.

I'm like, Oh my gosh, these