We dive right into the heart of the matter: recognizing when we've lost ourselves, a realization that often hits us on one of those seemingly mundane Tuesdays when we ask, "What am I even doing here?" The conversation flows from the signs of burnout to the surprisingly simple antidote—like giving ourselves a bedtime! Yes, you heard that right; bedtime isn’t just for kids anymore. As we unravel the layers of midlife, it becomes clear that our biggest hurdle isn't about finding ourselves again, but rather returning to the essence of who we really are, buried under the clutter of daily life. Join us as we explore these poignant truths, sprinkle in a bit of wit, and remind ourselves that the journey back to ease and authenticity starts with small, manageable shifts that can truly transform our lives. The journey through midlife can often feel like a maze filled with unexpected dead ends and unforeseen detours, especially for women who juggle multiple roles and responsibilities. During this episode, the speakers explore the poignant moment when realization strikes: the feeling of losing oneself amid the whirlwind of daily life. They tap into the often unspoken truth that this loss of identity can occur in the quietest of moments, resonating with anyone who has ever found themselves wondering, 'What am I doing here?' This shared experience becomes a launching point for a deeper conversation about the weight of societal expectations and the pressure to perform, which can lead to burnout if left unchecked. The hosts introduce the idea that 2026 is the 'year of ease', a concept that serves as both a mantra and a practical goal. They emphasize the importance of intentionality in navigating life’s challenges, encouraging listeners to seek out ease even when faced with adversity. This refreshing perspective highlights the necessity of small, actionable changes, such as establishing a consistent bedtime, which is presented as a surprisingly effective antidote to burnout. Their witty banter and relatable anecdotes create an engaging atmosphere, making the discussion not just informative but also entertaining. It’s a reminder that self-care doesn’t have to be complicated; sometimes, it simply requires a commitment to prioritizing oneself amidst the chaos. As the conversation unfolds, the speakers delve into broader themes of guilt, shame, and the pursuit of authenticity. They challenge the notion that midlife is about rediscovering oneself, instead framing it as a return to one’s core identity, obscured by the layers of external pressures. This idea resonates deeply, encouraging listeners to shed the guilt associated with unmet expectations and to instead focus on what truly matters to them. By the end of the episode, the hosts leave their audience with a sense of empowerment, inviting them to embrace their unique journeys with humor and honesty, and to remember that the path back to oneself is not only possible but also profoundly rewarding.

Takeaways:

1. Women often realize they've lost themselves during mundane moments, like a random Tuesday.
2. Establishing a consistent bedtime for adults can significantly improve overall well-being and rest.
3. In 2026, we should strive to find ease within the challenges that life throws our way.
4. The common lie that burned-out women believe is that things must always be this way.
5. Recognizing guilt as a signal rather than a shaming mechanism can lead to self-awareness and growth.
6. Midlife is less about rediscovery and more about returning to the authentic self that's always been present.

The moment women usually realize that they've lost themselves is when it's probably on.

Some, like, random Tuesday when you're just like, what am I even doing here?

Proud member of the 9:30pm Club right here. I'm all about yes.

That is my word of the year and that I am looking for the way to find ease within the challenges that come at us. I do not expect this year to be easy, but I am setting the intention to find the ease within the heart.

All right, Emma, I'm so excited to play our game with you today. It is called It's a rapid fire game. And basically I will give you a prompt and you just answer the first thing that comes to mind. So are you ready?

Let's see how it goes.

Okay, let's do it. Let's do it.

Okay.

Burnout sounds like blank.

Oh, I'm struggling with sounds like I've got like. It feels like I'm like. It feels like heaviness. What does that sound like? It sounds like, like.

Yep, yep. I've definitely uttered that noise before.

Okay.

The most common lie burned out women believe is blank.

That it has to be this way and there's no other way.

Good point. One behavior that looks like strength but is actually burnout is blank.

Coping. That, you know, making the best of the situation, saying, I'm going to keep soldering on that is perpetuating burnout, not helping you get out of it.

The moment women usually realize that they've lost themselves is when blank.

You know, it shows up in really small moments.

So, you know, I think that the reflection I have on this is not that it's like, oh, it's when your kid's getting married and you all of a sudden realize you are unhappy. It's probably on some like, random Tuesday when you're just like, what am I even doing here? And finally. And like, finally let yourself listen to it.

So, you know, I think it's a quiet moment in most cases for most people. And what you're doing will be remarkably ordinary at the time that that realization hits you.

Yeah, when it happens, it happens. A micro shift almost everyone underestimates is blank.

Bedtime. 100%. Give yourself a bedtime. It sounds. It works for kids and it works for adults.

I think there's a lot more conversation, so it's hard to Say that's underestimated because there's a lot more talk about sleep nowadays.

But I think aside from like, you don't need an OURA ring, you don't need a fancy hatch alarm or like any of this tech to help you sleep, just give yourself bedtime and turn off your phone and get your phone out of your bed.

Yes, that is very important. And I will say, proud member of the 9:30pm Club right here. I'm all about, yes. There is nothing wrong with going to bed before 10pm, people.

It's the best.

Definitely. Right? I mean, if you live in the New England and the sun goes down at 4, I mean, bedtime is like 7:30, you know, around here. Totally.

I try to make it a point to go to bed a little bit, like if it's not right at the right time, but maybe a little bit after my 11 year old, she goes to bed between 8:30 and 9. I'm like, why don't I follow her suit?

Works for her. What a great idea. Right?

Let's have our kids bedtimes. Let's bring that back. Rest is not the opposite of productivity. It's the opposite of blank.

Ooh, rest. Yeah, I was thinking like rest is the way to productivity.

So what is it the opposite of waste, I guess, or, you know, whatever the opposite of being productive and effective is. That is what the opposite of rest is. Because we rest so that we can be productive.

Absolutely. The, oh, one sentence every midlife woman should stop saying to her herself is blank.

Well, should is definitely a word that I would love to have removed from everybody's vocabulary.

I just said it.

Stop saying should. Do you want to? Is it good for you? Does it serve you? Those are the alternatives to saying I should do something. Yes. It's very patterned speech.

So yeah, I think anything, any phrase that includes a should, I think we'd be better off without it.

It's so hard. I'm like, I'm working on it, I'm working on it. Burnout recovery starts the moment you stop doing blank.

Trying to live somebody else's life. The minute you say, I don't know whose life this is, but it's not mine.

And I want to jump timelines and get back on my life or write a new blueprint or write a new story, that's when starts.

If guilt had a message, it would actually be trying to say blank.

Guilt often does have a message. Right. I would, I would say shame has no purpose other than to tear us down. But guilt sometimes is a signal Oh, I think I might have messed up here.

Or at least get curious. Right. Am I feeling guilty because I actually did something wrong? So. And then we give the devil is due.

If I did actually do something wrong, I make amends. I apologize. I change my behavior, and then the guilt can release. But I do agree that guilt has a purpose.

In addition to shame, which just says you're bad, guilt says you did something bad. And maybe it's true, maybe it's a lie, but maybe it's true.

And so sort of being curious about, is there anything that I actually did that I need to make amends for? And then that's the way. Through the grief, through the guilt, which sometimes feels like grief, by the way. Right.

That was a slip of the tongue, but it worked out perfect.

Exactly.

Absolutely. Okay, last one. Midlife isn't about finding yourself again. It's about blank.

Returning to yourself. You're. You're not lost. You're right there. You're only covered up by some clouded glasses. And so it's just really all about returning to yourself.

Journey through yourself, to yourself. That is what. That is what this whole midlife thing is about. Right?

Right. Coming back to yourself. You were always there. You know, you were always there. It's about coming back.

Exactly.

Okay, Dr. Emma, what is next for you?

The way to find ease within the challenges that come at us. I do not expect this year to be easy. I do not know what challenges are ahead of me, but I am.

I'm setting the intention to find the ease within the heart.

I love that. I love that. As we should all hopefully do the same. Thank you so much, Dr. Emma and everyone listening. Please do yourselves a favor.

Listen to our full episode that we dropped on Tuesday because she gives the best advice on burnout, on stress, on. We talk about regret, and just making small, really manageable shifts that can truly change your life.

So don't forget to rate, subscribe, and comment on your favorite podcast app and have a wonderful day. And thank you. Thank you, thank you, Dr. Jones. It's been a pleasure.

Thanks for having me.