Shownotes
What if the life you think is “too late” is actually just beginning? In this episode of The Soul Mirror with host - Shreya, Debbie Weiss shares a deeply human journey of caregiving, burnout, and rediscovering herself after decades of putting others first.
This conversation is for anyone feeling stuck, exhausted, or quietly questioning their path. Debbie reminds us that change doesn’t require a dramatic leap—just small, honest steps. You’ll walk away with a renewed sense of possibility and permission to choose yourself, even now.
About the Guest:
Debbie Weiss is a best-selling author and speaker who rebuilt her life after years of caregiving, loss, and personal challenges. She now helps others embrace change and believe in second chances.
Episode Chapters:
00:00 When life feels “too late” to change
04:20 Caregiving, burnout, and losing yourself
10:15 The quiet moment that sparked change
16:40 Why comfort can keep you stuck
22:10 The power of small daily shifts
28:30 Setting boundaries without guilt
34:45 Rediscovering identity and creativity
Key Takeaways:
- Small, consistent actions create lasting change
- Caregiving without boundaries leads to burnout
- Fear and excitement often exist together
- Identity is flexible, not fixed
- Keeping promises to yourself builds confidence
How to Connect With the Guest:
Website: https://debbierweiss.com/
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Transcripts
00:00:06 Shreya: Sometimes the second half of life is not just about slowing down. It's about finally waking up. Hello
00:00:14 Shreya: and welcome to the podcast, a space where we gently explore the stories and quiet truths shaping who we are. I'm your host, Shreya, and today we are sitting with a conversation that feels deeply personal, especially for anyone who has ever wondered, is it too late for me? Joining me is Debbie Weiss, a best selling author and speaker who has revealed her life after profound loss and now helps others believe in second chances and small, meaningful shifts. Today, we are talking about what it really means to start over, and why it's never too late to become who you were always meant to be. Welcome, Debbie. I'm honored to have you on my show.
00:00:55 Debbie Weiss: Oh, thank you so much. It's great to be here.
00:00:59 Shreya: Thank you so much. And before we get into the deeper layers, I'm really curious. Was there a moment in your life where you realized. I can't keep living the way I have been living?
00:01:12 Debbie Weiss: Yeah. I don't think it was one moment in particular where, you know, like in the movies where the music plays and the sky opens up. It was a slow awakening, but it was turning fifty. That really started the whole process because when I turned fifty one, I couldn't believe that I was actually fifty years old and at fifty, for me and for everybody, it's different. It might not be an age. It might be something happens in your life. It it's it varies for everyone. But at fifty, it really gave me a chance to reflect and realize how quickly the first fifty years flew by. Knowing that hopefully the next fifty will fly by even faster and not that I guess from the outside looking in you would think that what does she have to be? I don't want to say unhappy because I don't think that's the right word, but I guess dissatisfied, with her life. And I realized that something had to change. I had my backstory. And you might ask me, I won't give you the whole thing, but I've been caring for family members since I was seventeen years old, and at fifty, I just found myself burnt out, exhausted, overwhelmed, and just living my life for everyone else. And I realized that I didn't want to be that person who got to the end of their lives, looking back with regret of what I could have or should have done. Even though I didn't know what that thing was or those things that I wanted to do, I just knew something had to change.
00:03:02 Shreya: Thank you for sharing this. And yes, I would. I would really love if you can share something about your backstory. Sure.
00:03:11 Debbie Weiss: So when I was seventeen, my father had just turned forty six and he had a massive stroke and thankfully survived but became permanently disabled. And my parents soon divorced and my dad became my responsibility for the next thirty years. He lived thirty years almost to the day that he had the stroke. And although my father never lived with me, he lived in different facilities. I was still his person. So at a very young age, I had to learn about all the different systems. You know, here in the United States, like Medicare and Social Security and disability and all things that a twenty year old, you know, typically is not exposed to. And I had to worry about could he afford where he lived when things, you know, medically, he had issues. That was my problem. I had to make sure that he had food in his cupboard, even though he would go somewhere for meals on a daily basis, buy him clothes. You know everything. Take him places. I was his person and it was a lot of responsibility, especially at such a young age. And then later on, when I had my children, my oldest son was diagnosed on the autism spectrum when he was two. And that's a different type of caregiving. You know, I think with each relationship, you know, child to parent and then parent to child, especially when you have a young child who has special needs, all parents or caregivers. But I have one of each. And when you have a child with special needs, it just takes it to another level. So when I turned fifty, I had my oldest son was twelve and I had, you know, had a decade of caring for both of them simultaneously, as well as running a small business that I have and worrying about my other son and my husband and all the daily responsibilities and just giving, giving, giving, and not having anything left in the tank for myself. I was on a hamster wheel, basically.
00:05:46 Shreya: Thank you for sharing your story with such honesty. And there is this quite belief so many people carry that change has an expiration date so that after a certain age or stage, we are supposed to just accept things as they are. What do you think people misunderstand about this idea of being too late.
00:06:10 Debbie Weiss: Well, I think it's never too late. I think it is a story or a belief that we tell ourselves. Maybe because in one sense it's easier, right? And it's easier to stay in your comfort zone, not take any chances. No risk, no nothing. Not put yourself out there. Because when you put yourself out there, you could be judged, you might fail. You know, there's there's scary things. And if you just stay in your comfort zone, well, then you feel safe. And so we tell ourselves the story that it's too late. You know, I've already had my career and my family, and, you know, I should be cruising the rest of the way, so to speak, for the rest of my life. But is that what we want our lives to be about? I mean, when I wrote my first book, I wound up being in a room with fifteen other authors for an online program with another author, and I thought, oh my goodness, at that time, maybe I was fifty nine and I thought, I'm going to be the oldest one here, and I was the youngest. There were six people in their mid eighties who wrote their first book. I thought, how fabulous is that? Because as long as we're breathing, there is no reason why we shouldn't be expanding ourselves in whatever way you know suits us. So it's never too late. Ever.
00:07:59 Shreya: It's almost like the story of two. Late is not the truth. It's just something we have repeated long enough to believe and unlearning that can feel both freeing and terrifying at the same time.
00:08:13 Debbie Weiss: That is for sure. Absolutely. But you know what? Even when it's terrifying. It's that time where you have like two emotions simultaneously. I think there's a term for it. You know, you could be terrified but excited. You know, it's that both feelings. And if you don't have that feeling of being afraid, it means that you're really not putting yourself out there.
00:08:44 Shreya: And I think that brings up something deeper. Like sometimes it's not just about age, it's about identity. So when someone has been the responsible one or the one who holds everything together, what makes change feel so risky?
00:09:02 Debbie Weiss: Well, I think that when you have so many people depending on you and they're used to you being there for them no matter what, and not that you're going to change that because I don't want to make it seem like, oh, I don't want to take care of my family and, uh, I'm going to drug all my responsibilities. That's not the case, however. I took care of everyone else at my own expense, and that's not helpful for anyone. That's not a good example for my children. So many caregivers neglect their own health, and they're the ones who wind up, you know, having some kind of serious illness or, God forbid, passing away because they are not taking care of themselves. And so one of the ways that I began to take care of myself that I never did before was by setting boundaries. So of course I was still there and am still there for my loved ones. But I'm not at their beck and call every second that they need something. Of course, if it's an emergency. Yes, all those things. But on a regular basis, I had to start setting boundaries and saying, you know, here's an example. When my kids were younger and after I turned fifty, and one of the things that I, I started to do was to take care of my health. And so that meant for me, I was very overweight. So I needed to diet and exercise. And three times a week I would go to this exercise class that I loved. It was good for me both physically and mentally. And I had to tell my family, look, Monday, Wednesdays and Thursdays from six thirty to eight. I am going to exercise. If you need me, talk to me beforehand. Talk to me afterwards. Unless it's an emergency. I will be gone and unavailable during those times. And I had to almost retrain my family members. But it was a good thing. It was good for them and it was good for me.
00:11:24 Shreya: Yeah. And I think there is something really tender there, like realizing that the life we built to survive, maybe not the life we are meant to continue.
00:11:35 Debbie Weiss: Yeah. I mean, you're absolutely right. I think the term survive is exactly what I was doing. I was surviving, not thriving, not living. I was just getting through every day, taking care of everyone else, all my energy out to other people and had nothing left in the tank for myself and would just plop into my bed at night. Lay there thinking about everything I had to do the next day. Getting just, you know, not enough sleep, waking up and, and continuing that same pattern over and over again. MM.
00:12:14 Shreya: And, uh, let's bring this into everyday life. Like, what does this, uh, stack but afraid to change feeling actually look like for people?
00:12:25 Debbie Weiss: I think when you imagine what change is, it's scary. You start to tell yourself it's impossible if you have a dream. And, and let me just say that I didn't have a dream. So in other words, so many people feel like they missed their opportunity, maybe to become a painter or a musician or, you know, I don't know, a different profession I didn't have that. I knew something had to change to be more. To have my life be more fulfilling. But I didn't know what it was. And I think when you have this idea in your head, it seems so unreachable from where you currently stand that you just give up before you even get started. And I think that that's why breaking it down, taking small teeny weeny, and I mean, the smallest steps just forward in that direction changes everything. You can always be focused on the long term goal, but it's those daily small activities that step by step are going to get you there. And when they're small, they're not overwhelming. And it might feel like, what is this little thing going to do? What is this little step that I'm going to take? And let me just give an example going back to the weight loss thing. Let's say one of your goals is to drink more water. You know, you, you don't drink any water now and you want to drink eight glasses of water a day. You can't go from zero to eight glasses and sustain that. Most people would not be able to sustain such a huge change. But could you drink a half a glass of water a day? That might be manageable. And you know what? If that's too much, you drink a quarter of a glass of water. Because what happens is once you drink that quarter glass of water for three weeks, you're like, okay, I got this. This is easy. Now let me bump it up to a half and to a full glass and so on and so forth. You know, we think in our minds we have to have everything yesterday. We don't. It really is all about the journey. Because when you start setting a goal. Even if it's small, like a quarter glass of water and you show up and you do that every. Day, you're going to build trust and confidence in yourself that will spur you forward and make you. Realize that you are capable and you can do something when you set your mind to it. But if. You just go to the, you know, eight glasses of water a day and you only drink four, you throw your hands up in the air and say, see, I couldn't do it. And that's when people quit.
00:15:31 Shreya: It's really interesting how discomfort can become so familiar that we mistake it for stability.
00:15:40 Debbie Weiss: MM. That is very, very true. It feels good to be comfortable. But you know what? What I've learned is when you are terrified, when you take that step into the unknown, you discover things about yourself that you never knew existed. I have learned I've I've un unearthed a different side of myself that for fifty, over fifty years I thought were impossible, you know. So I would tell everyone. And because I wholeheartedly believe this, I did not have a creative bone in my body. I am a math girl. I am good with numbers. From the time I was a little girl. I went to college and became an accountant and changed careers. And now I'm an insurance agent for over thirty years. But both of them have to do with numbers. Nothing to do with words. Nothing to do with writing. Nothing to do with speaking. Nothing to do really. With creativity. Numbers are pretty black and white. And when I put myself out there and slowly did things that I was scared to do outside of my comfort zone, I found out I really like to write. I like to speak and to teach. And I like creating things. It was almost like once I discovered this, a Pandora's box opened up. I couldn't stop coming up with different ideas of things that I wanted to do, things that I wanted to create. And it was like, who is this person? I never knew, I never knew that I had this side of me. And it's very, very exciting to discover. And mind blowing. To tell you the truth. You tell yourself back to your question before about identity. That was me. I'm a numbers girl. I'm a numbers girl. I have no creativity and that is not the case. Yes.
00:18:08 Shreya: Thank you for sharing this. And also you talk about something beautiful. The idea that small sprinkle sized changes can create transformation. I would love to understand what does that actually look in real life, in day to day life? Yeah.
00:18:25 Debbie Weiss: Well, as I said, it is sprinkling in those small little changes that feel like nothing, feels like you're hardly doing anything that really start to change your life. And in my book called The Sprinkle Effect, I talk about fifteen different sprinkles. Things that you really need to take a look at in your own life, in your within yourself, and see if these sprinkles exist. So sprinkles, such as a sprinkle of perspective, mindset, belief, you know, belief in yourself, taking responsibility for your life, action, joy, connectivity, you know, all the different qualities. If they're all sprinkled in that create a full and fulfilling life.
00:19:30 Shreya: Yeah, I think there is something so comforting about that. And also change sounds beautiful in theory, but in reality it can bring fear or doubt or even guilt. So when those moments come up, what tends to help people stay with the process instead of retreating?
00:19:51 Debbie Weiss: I think you have to always keep trying. Maybe the glass of water was not where it was. You know where you needed to start. That doesn't mean that you're a failure. That doesn't mean that you can't change. That just means, okay, maybe this is maybe this is just not. I'm not ready to drink water, so to speak. Let me go back and say, maybe I can start with taking a five minute walk a day. Maybe it's a two minute walk. Let me start there. That might be a different area. There's so many areas and Directions. I mean, really an infinite amount, right? That we can choose in our lives. Just because one might not work for you right now. It could later on. Doesn't mean that you should just give up. Because I have to tell you that. So now I'm sixty two. So I've been on this journey for twelve years. And it's a journey. And I'm not at my destination. I don't know if we'll ever be at our destination. And it's so cliche, but what I found is that it really is all about the journey. It's all about discovering new things. And even if you try something and you don't like it and it's not for you, well, you tried, you learned, right? It's still feedback and you feel good about yourself. Let me. You know, last night. I was scheduled to go and be a guest at a Toastmasters meeting, and I don't belong to Toastmasters. And I thought about it over the years, but then I talk myself out of it. And it was a long day yesterday. It was a Monday, and it's a long work day and other things in my life. And this meeting was like from six thirty to eight forty five at night. And I'm not. I prefer the morning to the night time. So by then I'm almost ready for bed. And I told myself, you're going. I don't care how tired you are. At the end of the day, you are keeping this promise to yourself that you are going. And almost to the minute that I got in my car to drive there. I was telling myself all the reasons why I should not go, why I don't want to go, and I went and I was so proud of myself because I kept a promise to myself. And that even if Toastmasters, if I don't, you know, wind up joining it, that is none of. That is the point. I said I was going to do it, and I followed through. And that reminds me. That I can do anything I want. We can talk ourselves in or out of any situation, and the fact that I set a goal and I stuck to it even though I really did not want to and I did not feel like it. Once that's over, I feel really good about myself and it makes me believe that I can do anything I set my mind to. And that's powerful.
00:23:33 Shreya: Yes, maybe it's not. Maybe it's just that the version of us back then didn't yet have what this version does.
00:23:43 Debbie Weiss: Mhm.
00:23:45 Shreya: And, uh, yeah, for like, uh, for someone who is listening right now and who feels stuck or maybe tired or quietly wondering if it's too late, what would you want them to gently remind themselves today?
00:24:02 Debbie Weiss: If we're breathing and living, then it's never too late. Why do we want to, quote unquote, waste the rest of our lives just cruising in the status quo? And really, for me, like I said in the beginning, thinking about if, God forbid, I died today. Would I have regrets? What would those regrets be? And start there. Start there because you're not at the end of your life. So why are you going to waste a single minute? We all have circumstances that we didn't really talk about this, and I've made so many excuses in my life. How can I, you know, I can't do this because, you know, my father had a stroke, and I'm his caregiver. My son needs extra attention. Uh, I struggled with infertility, and later on we didn't talk about it. But when I was fifty nine, I became a widow. And my husband, you know, my husband was diagnosed with terminal cancer and I was his caregiver for quite some time. And he struggled with both physical and mental illness at all reasons. From the outside, looking in seem pretty valid. Well, of course, look at all she had to deal with. These are the stories that I told myself and people, friends and family kind of, you know, agreed with me. And so it was easy to use my circumstances as an excuse, but they were an excuse. Again, not saying that I wouldn't take care of my family members. That is not what I mean. But that doesn't mean that I shouldn't be able to do something for myself. And I actually my first book is my memoir. I have no writing experience. And it's a long story, how I got there, but I was just about to join a course for first time authors to help them get their stories out there. It was a small group coaching program when my husband was diagnosed with the terminal blood cancer, And I was seeing a therapist at the time and I said, well, I was just going to join this course. But now obviously I can't because I have no idea what's going to happen. And she said, I think this is the perfect time for you to join the course. And I looked at her kind of funny, like, did this woman hear what I just said? And she said, you're going to need something just for yourself. To help you get through this time. And she was right because it was awful. But I made sure almost every day that I set aside time to write, whether it was getting up at five o'clock in the morning when my husband was still sleeping, if he was in the hospital, I would bring my computer with me, and when he was sleeping or went down for a test, I would write there. And the writing was hard because it's not something I ever did before, but it was hard in a different way than watching my husband slowly deteriorate and dealing with, you know, all that came with that. And it was an escape, an outlet. And so I like to tell people this because I don't care what excuse you're telling yourself what your circumstances are. You're going to delay it. Oh, after this, then I'll then I'll do X, right. Uh, I just need to get through this. No, you can do it anytime. You have to take responsibility. It doesn't mean it's going to be easy. Right. I didn't want to get up at five o'clock in the morning and write, but I was always happy when I did. And so you cannot let your age or your circumstances stop you.
00:28:19 Shreya: That's really beautiful. And thank you for sharing this with my audience. And if this. There is one insight I'm taking from this conversation is that maybe the truth is it's not about starting over perfectly. It's about starting again with honesty. And if after this conversation, my listeners want to connect with you and want to know more about you, about your work, then what's the best way to find you?
00:28:45 Debbie Weiss: My best way is my website because you can get to everything and all my social media from there. And it is Debbie R Weiss dot com.
00:28:55 Shreya: Yes. And I will make sure to attach all these details and links below so that the listeners can find them easily and get in touch with you. And for my listeners, if something in today's conversation stayed with you, maybe don't rush to change everything. Just sit with it. Listen to what your life might be asking of you quietly. If this episode felt like a mirror you needed. Share it with someone who might be standing at their own beginning. This is the social media podcast. And sometimes the most powerful transformation begins with a single, honest moment. And do not forget to hit the follow button. Subscribe and feel free to share your thoughts because your ears deserve premium content and I will see you in the next one. Thank you.
