Icebreakers. They're common in an improv class, at the top of a jam, or maybe when a team is just getting to know each other.

Some people love them.

Some people hate them.

Some of us have a love/hate relationship depending on the day or the icebreaker in question.

Many of the people who really dislike icebreakers are neurodivergent people, which is why such a seemingly simple thing is getting an episode.

But many students, neurodivergent or not, need icebreakers to feel comfortable in the scenes that are in their near future when they're in a room with strangers (or near-strangers). They might not know they kinda need them, either. Icebreakers might be needed to make a room feel a bit safer, a bit more beneficial, a bit more comfortable.

But some people, especially some of us neurodivergents with communication difficulties and differences and trauma history, feel uncomfortable doing them.

So what now?

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:: 00:01

Icebreakers, they're common in an improv class at the top of a jam, or maybe when a team is just getting to know each other.

:: 00:10

Some people love them, some people hate them.

:: 00:13

Let's talk about them anyways.

:: 00:16

This is Neurodiversity and Improv.

:: 00:19

I'm Jen DeHaan.

:: 00:29

Greetings and salutation.

:: 00:31

I'm a neurodivergent improviser who's about to dump the information all over your head about the intersection of improv and neurodivergence.

:: 00:41

These episodes are intended to help all improvisers, all neurotypes, since neurodivergent and neurotypical brains are all on teams and in classes together.

:: 00:52

No matter where you go, we are there.

:: 00:55

But before we get started real quick, I'm only speaking for myself and my own lived experience in these episodes.

:: 01:02

Everyone's experiences are different based on their neurotype, how they were brought up, their individual experiences, their own support needs, and so on.

:: 01:09

My ideas in these episodes and of any guests or submitted ideas I might receive one day, won't be right for everyone.

:: 01:18

The words I use and the things that I do are just my own preferences.

:: 01:23

So I'm not telling you what to do, throw away or adjust anything if it's not right for you.

:: 01:27

Do not diagnose yourself or other people using this podcast, please talk to someone who is smarter for advice.

:: 01:34

And finally, I'm not making excuses here.

:: 01:37

These are just explanations.

:: 01:38

Well, I'd really love it if you could share this episode with your friends, rate and review it on Apple podcasts.

:: 01:44

And if it's available to you to support this work at neurodiversityimprov.com so I can do a third season.

:: 01:51

All of this is really appreciated.

:: 01:53

All of this will keep it going for the community.

:: 01:55

And with that out of the way, let's get started.

:: 02:03

Icebreakers.

:: 02:04

They're common in an improv class, at the top of a jam, when a team is getting to know each other.

:: 02:12

But some of you, some of you might love them.

:: 02:15

Some of you might hate them.

:: 02:17

And some of you might be somewhere in between those two things.

:: 02:20

Some of them you might hate on one day and love on another.

:: 02:24

That love-hate relationship depending on the day in question is probably true for a lot of us.

:: 02:28

So many of the people who really dislike icebreakers are neurodivergent people, which is why such a seemingly simple thing is getting an episode dedicated to it.

:: 02:40

But many students, neurodivergent or not, really need icebreakers anyways to feel comfortable in scenes that are in their very near future, when they're in a room with strangers or near strangers.

:: 02:53

They might not know, they being the students might not know that they kind of need them either.

:: 02:58

So icebreakers might be needed to make a room feel a bit safer, a little bit more beneficial, a little bit more comfortable.

:: 03:06

But some people, especially as neurodivergent with communication difficulties, misunderstandings and differences in trauma history, might feel very uncomfortable doing them.

:: 03:16

So what do we do now?

:: 03:18

Let's first talk about why some people hate icebreakers.

:: 03:24

There are a number of very valid reasons why icebreakers are disliked by some improvisers.

:: 03:31

The first one, being perceived by others can be very difficult for a variety of reasons.

:: 03:37

For example, some improvisers, and myself is included in this, have difficulty as ourselves in a group environment, more so than in a scene or as a character revealing the private information.

:: 03:50

I have a very easy time if I'm a character saying things that are real, because no one knows if they are.

:: 03:55

I put myself into a character-like persona to make it through an icebreaker.

:: 04:01

So I'm still myself, but I just kind of play a heightened version of myself, and it seems to make it a little bit easier.

:: 04:09

I do this when I teach.

:: 04:10

It's me, but it's not.

:: 04:13

I used to teach fitness classes.

:: 04:14

It's what I did there too.

:: 04:16

It's very me, but it's not.

:: 04:19

I don't even know how to describe it, but it's like a more real me than the masked me.

:: 04:24

I don't know.

:: 04:25

It's different.

:: 04:26

It's something, but I do something, and it makes it easier to be perceived.

:: 04:30

Anyways, moving on to icebreakers.

:: 04:33

Depending on the task, icebreakers can be seen as a very personal thing that makes the person themselves feel very vulnerable.

:: 04:43

This might be true even if you don't think it's a person.

:: 04:46

It might be a personal question to someone in the room.

:: 04:48

It might be very personal for them.

:: 04:51

I was asked once to just describe my whole history, and I was shaking.

:: 04:56

The third one, participants might feel nervous about thinking really fast, thinking on the spot.

:: 05:03

They might be nervous about remembering what the prompt was, and they're like, I'm going to be embarrassed because I know when the ball gets tossed to me, I'm going to forget everything that I know about my life.

:: 05:16

So that will put them in their head.

:: 05:18

That will make them feel like they dislike the icebreaker.

:: 05:21

The next one, there might be some concerns over being chosen last.

:: 05:26

This might bring up some things from, say, middle school.

:: 05:30

When you're always chosen last in gym class for the floor hockey team, these things can put people back to their school days and make them just hate the icebreaker.

:: 05:41

The last one that I have, although certainly not the last thing that exists for reasons, possible triggers depending on how limited the prompt is.

:: 05:52

And these triggers might be very unexpected.

:: 05:55

So, like, if a student just had a family illness that week that was very serious, asking an icebreaker prompt, like, how was your week?

:: 06:03

What was something that happened?

:: 06:04

Might not be that great.

:: 06:06

So, we can't really anticipate things like that, but we can kind of accommodate for them.

:: 06:11

So, an icebreaker helps everyone in a room with strangers, with relatively new faces, getting to know the other people that they're about to play some pretty intimate improv scenes with, perhaps.

:: 06:26

So, why are icebreakers good?

:: 06:29

Because that's leading us to that one.

:: 06:31

So, these are some of the benefits that icebreakers can provide to a class, to an improv jam, or a new improv team.

:: 06:38

You can talk to strangers before you actually do those intimate or vulnerable scenes with them.

:: 06:45

And those strangers aren't quite as strange, because at least you've said something to them before.

:: 06:50

So, this is kind of a usually hopefully situation.

:: 06:53

It's not perfect, but it can, you know, generally be a benefit.

:: 06:57

Some students might really need this kind of thing before starting these scenes or even warm ups with a person.

:: 07:06

Students might need the icebreaker without knowing that they need them.

:: 07:10

So, they might be in their head, this is doing nothing, but it actually is doing something.

:: 07:15

An icebreaker can humanize everyone to each other, at least a little bit.

:: 07:20

Improv, like I said, tends to be vulnerable and personal.

:: 07:24

So, starting out with someone that's completely unknown to them, they've never even heard a word outside their mouth, can make people feel very uncomfortable.

:: 07:34

So, this is sometimes a pretty rough place to start off with, scenes with an absolute stranger off the street.

:: 07:41

Icebreakers, they can really help a new team, a new class, a jam, to get to just know who is in the room and what is the room's energy like today.

:: 07:52

Things can get pretty intense in Improv and in performing.

:: 07:56

Personalities are very diverse.

:: 07:58

Of course, we've got, you know, wild world out there, especially right now.

:: 08:02

So getting to learn who you're playing with on a very high level, at least can really help you potentially even avoid disputes and issues in the future.

:: 08:12

So if you do icebreakers for a while, you just keep getting to know the people in the space.

:: 08:17

And over time, this can be really good and build up a lot of trust.

:: 08:21

If you're teaching or you're coaching, icebreakers will start to possibly give you a few hints about who is in the room, like what the energy is, what their abilities are, even in the icebreaker, how comfortable they are just talking.

:: 08:36

So these are all things that can help us make a space more beneficial in the end.

:: 08:42

So are icebreakers like good or bad?

:: 08:45

Oh, I mean, it's not black and white, as much as I'd love the world to be black and white to be so much easier, but it's not black and white.

:: 08:53

There's pros and cons when you feel you need to run an icebreaker, because people don't know each other at all, or they're fairly new to each other.

:: 09:03

So some people need them.

:: 09:05

Some people feel like they don't.

:: 09:07

Maybe they actually don't, but some people feel that way.

:: 09:09

So what can we do to try to make them icebreakers a little bit more stable across the board, a little bit more beneficial to everyone?

:: 09:18

This is one of those things where some people need something and some people don't want something.

:: 09:24

So it's really important to try to do some things that help balance this out, really.

:: 09:28

It makes a wider range of people more comfortable.

:: 09:32

So more people get those benefits.

:: 09:34

The more diverse your class is, the more of a risk icebreakers can be, too.

:: 09:40

Teachers, jam hosts, coaches, they can't anticipate everything.

:: 09:44

We cannot anticipate what's going to come up or what the answers are going to be.

:: 09:50

But there's ways around these things, like things that we can try to reap some of the benefits of an icebreaker, make them more comfortable for everyone, so you can have them in your classes and jams a little bit more safe or a little bit more beneficial to all.

:: 10:08

They can get a real bad rap in round neurodivergence.

:: 10:12

I've seen some autistic threads where people just pan icebreakers outright, but they don't need to be done the same way.

:: 10:20

We don't need to put someone on the spot.

:: 10:22

It doesn't need to be, what did you do this week that open?

:: 10:26

Or what's your favorite vacation when you're a kid, which all of us immediately forget every vacation we've ever taken in our life, right?

:: 10:33

We don't need to do those things.

:: 10:34

So let's talk about some of the options that are available to us to make these icebreakers more inclusive for everyone.

:: 10:42

So instead of dropping them entirely because they're tough for some people, let's perhaps try one or a few of these tips together to make them a little bit more inclusive and beneficial to everyone.

:: 10:55

So, of course, alternate questions are your friend.

:: 10:59

Giving multiple options, alternatives.

:: 11:02

Let the student themselves, the improviser themselves, choose which one they want to do.

:: 11:08

This can be a little bit stressful.

:: 11:10

Icebreakers can be stressful, so just make sure that you have a few things, maybe something that's really low stress, easy to answer.

:: 11:17

Make the alternative something that most people wouldn't have to think much about to answer.

:: 11:23

So you're not going to choose a backup, say, of that.

:: 11:26

What was your favorite vacation when you're a kid that everyone will forget?

:: 11:30

But maybe it's just what did you have for breakfast this morning or lunch?

:: 11:34

Or what did you, what was something you ate today?

:: 11:37

Maybe?

:: 11:37

I don't know.

:: 11:38

But you can you can come up with something really good.

:: 11:41

That's easy for people to just kind of pick off the top of their head.

:: 11:45

So on that note, make it short, make it easy, make the potential length that they need to share variable.

:: 11:53

I mean, I can talk about something I like to eat as a monologue for five minutes.

:: 11:58

I am insufferable.

:: 12:00

But another person can do a very like a one sentence answer for that.

:: 12:05

So, you know, let the person kind of decide how long they want to make the answer, make the prompt something that could be short or could be a little bit more lengthy.

:: 12:14

An online friendly example of this was is from Shannon O'Neill.

:: 12:19

She asked every class, month after month, the same icebreaker question.

:: 12:23

Just share something within arms reach from you.

:: 12:27

Something on your desk.

:: 12:28

If you're in an in-person environment, maybe this is something in your bag pocket.

:: 12:34

Describe something in your car, something you saw on transit getting to the room.

:: 12:39

But anyways, a desk share is always interesting.

:: 12:42

It seems so simple, but it was fascinating.

:: 12:44

It told us stuff about people.

:: 12:46

They could share a story.

:: 12:48

It was so accessible.

:: 12:49

It could be as basic as, I have this pen on my desk, if somebody doesn't want to share much, and that's fine.

:: 12:55

Or somebody might bring the monkey statue that they found at a thrift store.

:: 13:00

This can really let the student decide how much they want to share, and what detail, and what level of personalness.

:: 13:07

I'm going to use that word unapologetically.

:: 13:09

Another thing that you can try, you can try to make it weird, so it's really impersonal, or maybe this is one of your variable options.

:: 13:20

Weird stuff kind of gets people together pretty quick in my experience.

:: 13:26

Your mileage might vary based on your community, you know your community best, but you might consider trying a very odd question, and see if that brings everyone together a little bit more quickly.

:: 13:38

Another thing you might want to try is to turn the icebreaker into an exercise, to disguise it as improv.

:: 13:45

You might want to be a little bit careful with this, so it's not too intense as the first thing people are doing together, but you might figure out a very smart way to make this work, and then you can email it in, in the survey.

:: 13:57

That's at the top of the neurodiversityimprov.com website.

:: 14:01

Go up to the menu, there's the word survey, you click it.

:: 14:04

There's a bunch of surveys on that page.

:: 14:07

I'm honest in what I put on there.

:: 14:09

It says surveys on the menu, you go there, survey page.

:: 14:12

So, go on there, find the one about icebreakers.

:: 14:15

Let me know what works for you.

:: 14:17

Let me know some of the weird things you do.

:: 14:18

I'd love to, I'd love to hear those.

:: 14:20

Next, turn the icebreaker into a slightly guided group chat and lightly involve anyone who seems uncomfortable.

:: 14:27

Or not at all, but use your good judgment as the person leading this discussion.

:: 14:32

This accomplishes the same thing and lets people kind of participate to their own personal comfort level.

:: 14:40

And then you can just move on to the warm up or the first exercise after this group chat.

:: 14:46

Make sure everyone's included and that the big personalities don't take over.

:: 14:51

You can make the icebreaker an opt-in thing.

:: 14:54

You can make it in a student driven order, so no one is really put on the spot and that ordering is naturally chosen.

:: 15:03

So instead of one person picking the next one and someone ending up being that last person chosen, the people can just kind of opt-in on their own, and anyone who doesn't really want to participate can opt out.

:: 15:17

Of course, you're going to have some people that don't say anything, so your mileage might vary on this one, but if it's an issue, this is something that you might want to try.

:: 15:26

You can do a version where the teacher calls on people, so it's not the students picking someone and someone really getting picked last.

:: 15:34

The teacher removes that variable out of it.

:: 15:37

You can say, I'm just going by the order on my list on this piece of paper.

:: 15:41

That means the ordering isn't as loaded, and this can also offer for kind of easy opt-outs.

:: 15:46

It's easier for the teacher to control this and always give it as an option.

:: 15:51

Hey, you don't have to participate.

:: 15:52

You can opt out.

:: 15:53

You can just share your name, your neighborhood, whatever it is.

:: 15:56

And then you can also let people opt out and then opt in later on if they aren't ready to share quite yet, if the teacher is kind of guiding the ordering here.

:: 16:06

And this lets people have a little bit more time to think if they need it.

:: 16:09

And you can always circle back to them.

:: 16:11

This is easier to do when the teacher leads the ordering.

:: 16:14

again, share some things that you've done using the survey.

:: 16:19

I'd love to share what you've learned about icebreakers in a future episode.

:: 16:24

So if you are using icebreakers in your class, jam or practice, these are some of just the key things to remember.

:: 16:31

Allowing that opt out is your friend.

:: 16:34

Encourage that they share the basic things that they need to be in the space, like their name, their pronouns, maybe their neighborhood or something that's really generic, very safe and beneficial to everyone.

:: 16:48

And then don't make them feel weird or odd about using the opt out.

:: 16:54

So if you are leading this icebreaker, practice those alternatives as if it's your own turn.

:: 17:01

Like use that short alternative.

:: 17:04

I'm going to opt out of the share as well.

:: 17:07

This is my name, these are my pronouns.

:: 17:09

This is the car I drive or whatever is something really basic.

:: 17:12

Practicing that makes it acceptable to people who feel like they do need to opt out of this part of the class.

:: 17:20

Another thing that you might want to try if you're using icebreakers is to send them in advance of the class or the practice or the session or the team, you know, get together, whatever.

:: 17:33

However, people learn about that session, send it to them at that time, so everyone gets it.

:: 17:40

I've done this and it can lead to some really creative shares that really gets everyone excited and talking to each other.

:: 17:49

Even people that seem like they might be a little bit more, you know, shy of joining in.

:: 17:55

You can provide an option for anyone who might have missed that message, like maybe they're commenting on something else or somebody else's share.

:: 18:04

What does that remind them of?

:: 18:05

And they can share that instead.

:: 18:07

It might sound really odd, but it actually worked exceedingly well.

:: 18:12

It was one of our best ones, in fact, of a couple years, a best session.

:: 18:18

So improvisers, it can be very creative people.

:: 18:21

They oftentimes will accept this a lot more if they can be creative and unique.

:: 18:26

And it resolved a lot of the issues that I've described earlier.

:: 18:31

So again, what are your tips?

:: 18:33

Do the survey, shoot me an email, whatever you'd like to do.

:: 18:37

I'll do a follow up episode with some of your ideas if you have them.

:: 18:41

And include your name and team or school or whatever for a shout out.

:: 18:45

Next episode will be in a couple weeks.

:: 18:48

Next week will be another essay for the paid supporters on neurodiversityimprov.com.

:: 18:54

That's where you can find the articles, the episodes on that website.

:: 18:59

You can sign up to a newsletter where you get reminders of all these resources coming out.

:: 19:04

So if you're just getting the podcast, consider going to the website and subscribing to the free newsletter.

:: 19:10

You can also become a paid supporter and get written essays for all of these topics.

:: 19:15

And that really helps me, helps me with the labor continuing to do it.

:: 19:20

We'll get us to a season three.

:: 19:22

So if that's available to you, I'd love the support.

:: 19:24

It really help out.

:: 19:25

And if this is a useful resource for you, also consider sharing it with your improviser friends so more people can access it and find use of it and hopefully make our communities a little bit more inclusive to neurodivergent performers as well.

:: 19:42

I created and I write this podcast.

:: 19:45

I also edit and produce it as stereoforest.com.

:: 19:48

I've got improv shows and other podcasts that are improvised.

:: 19:54

Make-em-ups at that location.

:: 19:56

So check it out.

:: 19:58

And all of those links to this website and more are in the show notes.

:: 20:03

So grab the show notes for direct links.

:: 20:05

You can click them.

:: 20:06

It's easier than typing it in.

:: 20:08

Amazing how that works.

:: 20:09

Anyways, that's all I got.

:: 20:11

Thanks and I'll talk in your ears later.

:: 20:14

Bye.