106 How to be your authentic self with Alan Braithwaite of Yellow Tuxedo | The Diary of a CEO conversation cards

In this mini series of The Diary of a CEO conversation Cards, Ricky Locke and Alan Braithwaite discuss the common misconceptions people have about Alan and how it makes him feel. They explore the importance of being authentic and prioritizing fun in social situations. They also discuss the expectations people have of public figures and the responsibility to be polite and genuine. The conversation highlights the power of making a positive impact on others and spreading positivity in everyday interactions.

Takeaways

• Be authentic and prioritize fun in social interactions.
• Recognize and challenge misconceptions about yourself.
• Understand the expectations people may have of public figures.
• Spread positivity and make a positive impact on others.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Setting the Tone

01:07 Question: Common Misconception About Alan

03:02 Being Authentic and Prioritizing Fun

05:27 Adapting to Different Social Situations

08:29 Misconceptions and Expectations

10:52 Authenticity and Responsibility

12:31 Expectations of Public Figures

16:00 Impact and Significance

18:59 Desired Impact on Listeners

21:39 Spreading Positivity and Making a Difference

21:45 Conclusion

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Transcription

Ricky Locke (00:00.785)

Welcome back to another episode of the Unlock podcast in my mini series where I dive deep into the diary of a CEO conversation cards to unlock some deeper levels of connection. And today I've got a great friend and a returning guest, Mr. Alan Braithwaite.

💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (00:16.594)

Thank you, mate. Love being like this doesn't feel like a podcast I'm just having a chat with my mate Ricky. Do you know what I mean? And if it's just fab to be with you as always

Ricky Locke (00:22.035)

Yeah, I know.

Well, as my brain was going, just going to go off the cuff here and introduce, and I'm brave about it, I felt like then I need to probably post edit this and go, explosions there, you know? I think, yeah.

💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (00:32.934)

Always explosion. Is there anyone who doesn't need more explosions in their day to day? Surely we all do

Ricky Locke (00:38.409)

Well, I agree. Yeah. Especially on a Thursday morning when, like we said, we could do a bit more energy, right? Anyway, Alan, as the premise is, we've got a question for you selected for you. Now, obviously you have no understanding, no awareness of what this is about. You got literally no idea. So, and that's just off the cuff. Yes. Brilliant. Brim. Yeah. It does sound, doesn't it? Like a, like a magic trick. Like you have no, you know, anyway.

💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (00:45.282)

Yes.

💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (00:57.67)

Yes, correct. I can confirm Ricky the magician. I can confirm. I do not know what you're about to do

Ricky Locke (01:07.177)

Alan, I've got a couple of questions selected, so we'll see if we get time and have some fun, but are you ready for your question? All right, here we go. The question is this. What is a common misconception that people have about you? And how does it make you feel?

💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (01:11.891)

Yes, mate. Let's do this.

💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (01:24.05)

Oh, common misconception about me and how does it make me feel? Um, I think I can answer the feel part before the misconception part. So the feel part is quite easy. I spend quite a lot of time kind of in my own head, thinking, working through stuff, I enjoy it a lot. So I think the feel part is I don't feel anything about the misconceptions. Cause I think if there is a misconception, it's usually because of what I'm putting out.

Ricky Locke (01:34.617)

Okay.

💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (01:52.494)

Um, so I'm, I'm kind of okay, but I own that misconception, if that makes sense. So, so there's no point me feeling unhappy about what someone might think about me and everything else. The other part is, and there are misconceptions which I'll come to, because I understand what I put out years and years and years ago, like decades ago, when I was younger, I remember.

You know what you'll know? Well, I say you'll know what it's like. You may know what it's like. There was always your mates, right? When your mates were with you together, when you were with your mates, your male friends, right? You'd be like that. The second anyone was with their girlfriend or a girlfriend was there, everything changed, right? Everything changed. And I remember sometime in my early 20s, late teens going, why does everyone change?

Ricky Locke (02:28.213)

Yeah, yeah.

💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (02:34.25)

Why wouldn't you want to be the same person regardless of whether you're girlfriend, because that means either your mates aren't getting the genuine you or your girlfriend's not getting the, or they're getting a version of you. Right. And, and, but I understand the kind of topics and conversations and language might be subtly different, that's different, but fundamentally there were people who were massively different. Right. And I remember looking at them and you know, everyone's in their own life. It's fine. And I remember thinking, I don't want to do that. So, um,

other than a few subtleties, pretty much I'm the same person with my friends and Emily, now my wife, which comes back to, I guess, the misconceptions part is I feel sometimes there's a misconception about me, but so because I'm rather gregarious and loud, the, the more kind of deep thinking overthinker I don't always think comes out because I don't want it to, because I want to prioritize fun.

Um, so I, I wonder, I wonder, I don't really know. No one's ever come up and when I was wrong about you, Alan, I wonder if that kind of the, the deeper side of me that I may keep for conversations like this doesn't always come out and some people may have that misconception, but fundamentally I've made a choice to be like that, so I'm okay with it. Does that make sense?

Ricky Locke (03:49.253)

Mm, yeah, brilliant. Yeah, a little bit. Yeah. So to tell us a little bit more about that, then. So does it does it affect you? So just to clarify again, like, how does that make you feel when people have that misconception?

💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (04:03.626)

It doesn't make me feel anything because I've chosen to be in certain a certain way. And because their misconception will be based on what I'm putting out. So I'm kind of, I don't feel anything. Sometimes I might go, okay, I probably need to be a little bit less of a joker for a period of time. And perhaps a bit more kind of this kind of conversational Alan. Which interesting, if you get me by myself, you tend to get, if I'm with Emily.

then Emily's the straight person and I'm the joker or the dickhead, whatever you want to call it. And I'm okay with that because I feel there is an element, a balance and in a conversation like this, it's like when we do the digital circuits, we have walk on music, right? So when we open the doors on Zoom and everyone comes into music, if Emily's there, I'll be kind of singing, dancing. I'll bring my microphone down, pretend I'm a superstar DJ or an Oasis or something. If Emily's not there.

Ricky Locke (04:37.482)

Yeah.

💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (04:59.73)

I actually feel a bit awkward and go, oh, hello, everyone. Welcome, welcome along, you know? So it's, I guess it's just a bit like that, but going back to how I feel, no, I'm okay. Because I think these are conscious choices I'm making and neither of them are, I'm gonna say bad, but I don't think that's the word. Neither of them are not nice versions, if that makes sense. They're all the same version. I just sometimes put that switch up more than that switch and bring that switch down.

Ricky Locke (05:04.352)

Yeah.

Ricky Locke (05:08.973)

Yeah.

Ricky Locke (05:23.341)

Yeah.

Ricky Locke (05:27.229)

Yeah, like a thermostat, isn't it? Like you might have to heat up a little bit, cool it down a little bit and tailor it a little bit, but it's still you.

💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (05:28.983)

So I don't know if anyone...

💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (05:35.306)

Yeah, yeah, of course. I mean, it's got to be the same like as a magic show, right? You know, you're not going to go on stage as a magic show and give the deep thinking Ricky Locke. You're going to give the presenter Ricky Locke, right? It doesn't mean the deep thinking Ricky Locke, the kind of specific version of yourself, the self-improvement doesn't exist. And it will be kind of intertwined, right? But you've dialed that one up, that Fermistats up to 100.

Ricky Locke (05:40.035)

Mmm.

Ricky Locke (05:50.175)

Yeah.

💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (06:04.694)

conversation like this, dial the performance down a little bit and just maintain this. And I guess that's it. So like I say, any misconceptions outside of that, I probably don't even really know about, you know, and I don't mean this in a flippant way. I don't care because I'm happy with who I am, 99% of it. So, which I've put a lot of time and effort into being happy with who I am and making sure that people are getting me and things like that. So, yeah, I think that's where I'm at with that.

Ricky Locke (06:10.955)

Yeah.

Ricky Locke (06:17.854)

Yeah, yeah.

Ricky Locke (06:21.272)

Yeah.

Ricky Locke (06:32.865)

So just so to explore that, I totally agree. So like in Tesco's when I walk around the hours, I'm like, hey, it's magic, man. I'm picking up my chicken and my protein. Hey, no, of course not. It's like really grumpy. I quite often tell a lot of my customers, if you meet me around in Tesco, it's because a lot of people who book me where I live, I'll say, yeah, if you, if you see me in Tesco, I'm probably going to be in my pajamas. I'm like, who are you? You know, you know, because you have to. There's that human element, isn't there, of like.

the separation. So is there then just to explore that, is there a misconception that people believe that what I see, so the Alan I see on Zoom, I'm going to believe that that's the Alan I'm going to see in Tesco's or in the shops or at the school, the drop off. Do you think that that's what people see or do you think they have that understanding of, well, he's a bit of a miserable bugger, wasn't he? Like he's not the same that I know from digital circus.

💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (07:22.886)

No, I get that. And actually the school runs are really good example of that. So we do the school run twice a day, we park in the park, we walk through the park, and there's a large amount of parents and children and everything else. So you don't want grumpy, Alan, you don't want kind of, don't want to talk to people, Alan. And also we're a big believer in like representing your business and your brand and all opportunities and all everything else. So

we have to make sure we're on it through the park, right? Not on it, because that makes it sound like fake. That version is there that day. But there are some days when the kids have come in for a chat at midnight and you can't work out why, or you're not feeling best yourself or whatever else, but you go, it's gonna be a real struggle today.

Ricky Locke (07:52.491)

Yeah.

💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (08:11.862)

But so you have to keep your eyes down, right? And you kind of, perhaps you're not saying, because there'll be some days when I walk down the kind of the path through the park and it's good morning, good morning, hello you, how are you today? And it is like showbiz, you know, showbiz Ricky and Alan, I'm not in showbiz, so I don't feel I could say that then. But there are those days, but I think, I feel most people are reasonable enough to understand that.

Ricky Locke (08:21.943)

Yeah.

Ricky Locke (08:25.342)

Yeah, yeah.

Ricky Locke (08:29.583)

Yeah.

💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (08:39.158)

You can't be a hundred percent, a hundred percent of the time. And everyone's allowed an off day. And if they're not aware of everyone's allowed an off day and then they're going, Oh, he's a grumpy bugger. Then if I'm really honest, that's their problem, not mine, you know? Um, and, and if someone is being a grumpy bugger, the first thing you should be saying to yourself, and it's difficult to remember to do this is. I hope everything's okay with them.

Ricky Locke (08:45.166)

Hmm

Ricky Locke (08:54.357)

Yes. Yeah.

💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (09:04.67)

It should not be about you. It should be about them. It's really tricky at times to do that because you've got your own crud going on as well, but it should be. I hope they're okay. And I think it's still okay to have opinions and thoughts and, oh, they were a bit miserable today. But then when you've gone through all that, it should still come back to, drop them a note. And I think that's really important, Ricky, right? We're all different. There's, I like to talk about, there's like...

Ricky Locke (09:15.594)

Yeah.

Ricky Locke (09:26.846)

Yeah.

💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (09:32.074)

There's something like eight or nine billion people in the world. I lose track, right? And, and I don't know if this figure is still accurate, but once upon a time I was Googling how many people we meet in our life and the suggested figure was 80,000, okay? So we are coming up with thoughts and opinions on life, on everyday life, but we have fundamentally put all 8 billion people in the same pot of our thoughts and feelings based on only meeting 80,000, which

Ricky Locke (09:45.437)

Oh, wow, that's quite small. Yeah.

💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (10:00.074)

my maths isn't that fast as a percentage is ridiculously small. So why would we, you know, when we're in the right place and we're firing in the right place, why would we care in inverted commas about what someone thinks about ourselves because we don't know what their, you know, their belief structure and everything else I like that you talk to me about and I like to listen to is like, we just don't know. So look after yourself a bit more, make sure others are okay.

Ricky Locke (10:04.768)

Yeah.

💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (10:28.89)

And it just doesn't really matter if some, if someone's got a misconception of you going back to the question based on something you're doing, that's not, Oh, I'm going to do a buzzword Ricky, that's not authentic. Then the problem lies with you. If someone's got a misconception of you and you are being authentic in this example, then, then there isn't, there is no problem, you know, or how does that, did I do that the right way round?

Ricky Locke (10:40.347)

Yeah.

Ricky Locke (10:44.569)

Hmm

Ricky Locke (10:47.799)

Yes.

Ricky Locke (10:52.297)

Yeah, no, you're absolutely right. Yeah.

💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (10:52.574)

No, the problem lies with them. You know, it's yeah, it's like it's, if you're being authentic, it doesn't matter. You know, my dad always said, if there's a problem and you can do something about it, do something about it. So it doesn't matter. If there's a problem, you can't do anything about it. You can't do anything about it. So don't worry about it. You know, it's like, you know, so.

Ricky Locke (10:58.379)

Yeah.

Ricky Locke (11:07.801)

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, so let's explore that because I totally agree that you've had the light bulb moment is that isn't it the authenticity if let's say me and you, what we do on Zoom...

Welcome back to another episode of the Unlock podcast in my mini series where I dive deep into the diary of a CEO conversation cards to unlock some deeper levels of connection. And today I've got a great friend and a returning guest, Mr. Alan Braithwaite.

Thank you, mate. Love being like this doesn't feel like a podcast I'm just having a chat with my mate Ricky. Do you know what I mean? And if it's just fab to be with you as always

Yeah, I know.

Well, as my brain was going, just going to go off the cuff here and introduce, and I'm brave about it, I felt like then I need to probably post edit this and go, explosions there, you know? I think, yeah.

Always explosion. Is there anyone who doesn't need more explosions in their day to day? Surely we all do

Well, I agree. Yeah. Especially on a Thursday morning when, like we said, we could do a bit more energy, right? Anyway, Alan, as the premise is, we've got a question for you selected for you. Now, obviously you have no understanding, no awareness of what this is about. You got literally no idea. So, and that's just off the cuff. Yes. Brilliant. Brim. Yeah. It does sound, doesn't it? Like a, like a magic trick. Like you have no, you know, anyway.

Yes.

Yes, correct. I can confirm Ricky the magician. I can confirm. I do not know what you're about to do

Alan, I've got a couple of questions selected, so we'll see if we get time and have some fun, but are you ready for your question? All right, here we go. The question is this. What is a common misconception that people have about you? And how does it make you feel?

Yes, mate. Let's do this.

Oh, common misconception about me and how does it make me feel? Um, I think I can answer the feel part before the misconception part. So the feel part is quite easy. I spend quite a lot of time kind of in my own head, thinking, working through stuff, I enjoy it a lot. So I think the feel part is I don't feel anything about the misconceptions. Cause I think if there is a misconception, it's usually because of what I'm putting out.

Okay.

Um, so I'm, I'm kind of okay, but I own that misconception, if that makes sense. So, so there's no point me feeling unhappy about what someone might think about me and everything else. The other part is, and there are misconceptions which I'll come to, because I understand what I put out years and years and years ago, like decades ago, when I was younger, I remember.

You know what you'll know? Well, I say you'll know what it's like. You may know what it's like. There was always your mates, right? When your mates were with you together, when you were with your mates, your male friends, right? You'd be like that. The second anyone was with their girlfriend or a girlfriend was there, everything changed, right? Everything changed. And I remember sometime in my early 20s, late teens going, why does everyone change?

Yeah, yeah.

Why wouldn't you want to be the same person regardless of whether you're girlfriend, because that means either your mates aren't getting the genuine you or your girlfriend's not getting the, or they're getting a version of you. Right. And, and, but I understand the kind of topics and conversations and language might be subtly different, that's different, but fundamentally there were people who were massively different. Right. And I remember looking at them and you know, everyone's in their own life. It's fine. And I remember thinking, I don't want to do that. So, um,

other than a few subtleties, pretty much I'm the same person with my friends and Emily, now my wife, which comes back to, I guess, the misconceptions part is I feel sometimes there's a misconception about me, but so because I'm rather gregarious and loud, the, the more kind of deep thinking overthinker I don't always think comes out because I don't want it to, because I want to prioritize fun.

Um, so I, I wonder, I wonder, I don't really know. No one's ever come up and when I was wrong about you, Alan, I wonder if that kind of the, the deeper side of me that I may keep for conversations like this doesn't always come out and some people may have that misconception, but fundamentally I've made a choice to be like that, so I'm okay with it. Does that make sense?

Mm, yeah, brilliant. Yeah, a little bit. Yeah. So to tell us a little bit more about that, then. So does it does it affect you? So just to clarify again, like, how does that make you feel when people have that misconception?

It doesn't make me feel anything because I've chosen to be in certain a certain way. And because their misconception will be based on what I'm putting out. So I'm kind of, I don't feel anything. Sometimes I might go, okay, I probably need to be a little bit less of a joker for a period of time. And perhaps a bit more kind of this kind of conversational Alan. Which interesting, if you get me by myself, you tend to get, if I'm with Emily.

then Emily's the straight person and I'm the joker or the dickhead, whatever you want to call it. And I'm okay with that because I feel there is an element, a balance and in a conversation like this, it's like when we do the digital circuits, we have walk on music, right? So when we open the doors on Zoom and everyone comes into music, if Emily's there, I'll be kind of singing, dancing. I'll bring my microphone down, pretend I'm a superstar DJ or an Oasis or something. If Emily's not there.

Yeah.

I actually feel a bit awkward and go, oh, hello, everyone. Welcome, welcome along, you know? So it's, I guess it's just a bit like that, but going back to how I feel, no, I'm okay. Because I think these are conscious choices I'm making and neither of them are, I'm gonna say bad, but I don't think that's the word. Neither of them are not nice versions, if that makes sense. They're all the same version. I just sometimes put that switch up more than that switch and bring that switch down.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, like a thermostat, isn't it? Like you might have to heat up a little bit, cool it down a little bit and tailor it a little bit, but it's still you.

So I don't know if anyone...

Yeah, yeah, of course. I mean, it's got to be the same like as a magic show, right? You know, you're not going to go on stage as a magic show and give the deep thinking Ricky Locke. You're going to give the presenter Ricky Locke, right? It doesn't mean the deep thinking Ricky Locke, the kind of specific version of yourself, the self-improvement doesn't exist. And it will be kind of intertwined, right? But you've dialed that one up, that Fermistats up to 100.

Mmm.

Yeah.

conversation like this, dial the performance down a little bit and just maintain this. And I guess that's it. So like I say, any misconceptions outside of that, I probably don't even really know about, you know, and I don't mean this in a flippant way. I don't care because I'm happy with who I am, 99% of it. So, which I've put a lot of time and effort into being happy with who I am and making sure that people are getting me and things like that. So, yeah, I think that's where I'm at with that.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

So just so to explore that, I totally agree. So like in Tesco's when I walk around the hours, I'm like, hey, it's magic, man. I'm picking up my chicken and my protein. Hey, no, of course not. It's like really grumpy. I quite often tell a lot of my customers, if you meet me around in Tesco, it's because a lot of people who book me where I live, I'll say, yeah, if you, if you see me in Tesco, I'm probably going to be in my pajamas. I'm like, who are you? You know, you know, because you have to. There's that human element, isn't there, of like.

the separation. So is there then just to explore that, is there a misconception that people believe that what I see, so the Alan I see on Zoom, I'm going to believe that that's the Alan I'm going to see in Tesco's or in the shops or at the school, the drop off. Do you think that that's what people see or do you think they have that understanding of, well, he's a bit of a miserable bugger, wasn't he? Like he's not the same that I know from digital circus.

No, I get that. And actually the school runs are really good example of that. So we do the school run twice a day, we park in the park, we walk through the park, and there's a large amount of parents and children and everything else. So you don't want grumpy, Alan, you don't want kind of, don't want to talk to people, Alan. And also we're a big believer in like representing your business and your brand and all opportunities and all everything else. So

we have to make sure we're on it through the park, right? Not on it, because that makes it sound like fake. That version is there that day. But there are some days when the kids have come in for a chat at midnight and you can't work out why, or you're not feeling best yourself or whatever else, but you go, it's gonna be a real struggle today.

Yeah.

But so you have to keep your eyes down, right? And you kind of, perhaps you're not saying, because there'll be some days when I walk down the kind of the path through the park and it's good morning, good morning, hello you, how are you today? And it is like showbiz, you know, showbiz Ricky and Alan, I'm not in showbiz, so I don't feel I could say that then. But there are those days, but I think, I feel most people are reasonable enough to understand that.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

You can't be a hundred percent, a hundred percent of the time. And everyone's allowed an off day. And if they're not aware of everyone's allowed an off day and then they're going, Oh, he's a grumpy bugger. Then if I'm really honest, that's their problem, not mine, you know? Um, and, and if someone is being a grumpy bugger, the first thing you should be saying to yourself, and it's difficult to remember to do this is. I hope everything's okay with them.

Hmm

Yes. Yeah.

It should not be about you. It should be about them. It's really tricky at times to do that because you've got your own crud going on as well, but it should be. I hope they're okay. And I think it's still okay to have opinions and thoughts and, oh, they were a bit miserable today. But then when you've gone through all that, it should still come back to, drop them a note. And I think that's really important, Ricky, right? We're all different. There's, I like to talk about, there's like...

Yeah.

Yeah.

There's something like eight or nine billion people in the world. I lose track, right? And, and I don't know if this figure is still accurate, but once upon a time I was Googling how many people we meet in our life and the suggested figure was 80,000, okay? So we are coming up with thoughts and opinions on life, on everyday life, but we have fundamentally put all 8 billion people in the same pot of our thoughts and feelings based on only meeting 80,000, which

Oh, wow, that's quite small. Yeah.

my maths isn't that fast as a percentage is ridiculously small. So why would we, you know, when we're in the right place and we're firing in the right place, why would we care in inverted commas about what someone thinks about ourselves because we don't know what their, you know, their belief structure and everything else I like that you talk to me about and I like to listen to is like, we just don't know. So look after yourself a bit more, make sure others are okay.

Yeah.

And it just doesn't really matter if some, if someone's got a misconception of you going back to the question based on something you're doing, that's not, Oh, I'm going to do a buzzword Ricky, that's not authentic. Then the problem lies with you. If someone's got a misconception of you and you are being authentic in this example, then, then there isn't, there is no problem, you know, or how does that, did I do that the right way round?

Yeah.

Hmm

Yes.

Yeah, no, you're absolutely right. Yeah.

No, the problem lies with them. You know, it's yeah, it's like it's, if you're being authentic, it doesn't matter. You know, my dad always said, if there's a problem and you can do something about it, do something about it. So it doesn't matter. If there's a problem, you can't do anything about it. You can't do anything about it. So don't worry about it. You know, it's like, you know, so.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, so let's explore that because I totally agree that you've had the light bulb moment is that isn't it the authenticity if let's say me and you, what we do on Zoom presenting, if I'm a really authentic presenter, communicator, speaker, then people wouldn't have them. You know, they'd have that. What's the opposite to a misconception? Is it a conception? What is the opposite? Whatever. Well, let it this out. But yeah, but if you absolutely if you are authentic through every channel or whatever you do.

Don't know. Answers on a postcard?

then of course people would understand that he's a human. He's going to have tough days and he's going to have his child causing him stress and all sorts of things, or he's going to be a bit normal in Tesco's. So like celebrity status, right? I think people's projection of them is they are Tom Cruise every day of their life. And we see this, don't we, with celebrities where they've got the caps on, you know, they're like, they don't want to talk to anyone. But I believe, like you just said there,

If you're authentic through every single strand of whatever it is you do, then obviously there would be no misconceptions because people would understand. Like you said, I'd love to hear your thoughts on do you think that there's an expect, sorry, maybe what percentage is of people who expect that you are like for me, jazz hands, Ricky, a hundred percent throughout your life. There must be people out there that have a misconception of, oh, Ricky and Alan aren't what they're like on Zoom. Right.

Even though we try as much as we can to be authentic, there must be a percentage out there that, oh, yeah. What do you think?

I agree. I don't know the answer, but what I think is interesting, first of all, Tom Cruise is a lizard, right? So when he's at home, he just unzips his Tom Cruise skin and just like goes round on all fours and is, you know, he might sit down, he might be a lizard in that shape. You know, he can't be real. Let's look at him, right? He just can't be normal like the rest of us.

Yes, yes. Yes.

Yeah. Maybe. Yeah.

No, no.

Going back to then, so the question on percentage, you might think that's what we're like all the time. I think that's the question. So there's a good point here. So I'm going to put forward that I am like that, because I want to be like that, because I want to be slightly kind of gregarious and fun, because I think that's, I was gonna say add value, but I don't know if that's the right thing. I feel, I feel much. Yeah.

Mmm, power choice.

Well, it's living to your values, isn't it? Because if that's your value of being fun, cheeky, gregarious, then you are being authentic, aren't you?

Yes, absolutely. And I think the world in my opinion, based on the very small percentage I've met, you know, could, would like a bit more fun and stupidity and everything else, because life fundamentally is quite serious at times, quite tough, quite hard, look at the look at the media and everything else coming towards us. So why would we not want to have a bit more fun?

Now it doesn't mean I can't underpin that fun with my values and my seriousness and everything else. And that quite regularly the conversation will drop into that. But I guess the bit back on me on this question is I do have to sometimes remember to dial up serious Alan at the right time. And I have obviously made mistakes where I've gone headlong into what I think is a joke that is stepping on something very personal to someone.

Yeah.

I, I'm not answered your question yet, but I've got another kind of thought. I do remember. So I'm not famous in any way, shape or form, not even vaguely, but because of what we put out on the internet, we have turned up at places before and people have gone, I know you off the internet. Right. And yeah. And, and I do feel a certain pressure then to be the person they've seen off of the internet.

Same here, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

And there was one time it was at the showman's show, a new British show, a new British show ground. And this was in our old business in outdoor events. And some guys are, oh, I've show me show the show ground. It's pretty good at you. It's definitely it's in, it's in October. You get in a plug, man. It's, um, it's definitely worth going in your, if you're in events, it was always a good day out. Um, and it was like, Oh, here's, here's Alan, I know you. I've seen your videos. And I was like,

bit of a little ration there, isn't it? Show me and show at the showground. Show me a short show. Yeah.

Yeah

Yeah.

I was just going to walk around drinking bubbles and shoveling free food in my mouth for the day, you know, and I had to go dial up. Yeah, exactly. Which, which is fine. It's a, it's a really, yes, exactly that.

Now it's like, yeah, yeah.

It's a first world problem, isn't it? Yeah. But I feel you on this, Alan. So, yeah, so I did a speaking event last year. And because you don't I think you don't realize, do you? What impact or significance that you make, right? And what we do. And this is going off a little bit from what we were originally talking about. But I did a speaking event last year and some guy came up to me and said, Are you Ricky? And I'm in my suit at this point, you know, ready to go on stage. Yeah. Hi. You know, right. You know, as a word. And I'm like, yeah. Hi. And he went.

God, I listened to your workshop and your podcast you did like a year ago. Massively changed my life went off. Thank you so much. Thank you. I said, Oh, you know, can I hug high five? You know, we did all that. I said, I can get selfie and all that. It was lovely. It was this lovely, wonderful moment. And again, there's a bit of a feeding the ego there, but again, it's like, Oh my God, yeah, actually, if I'd have just walked past him, maybe being really miserable, pissed off, sorry, man, I ain't got time for you. Then that would have probably really hurt him going, Oh, I was just about to tell this guy how much he changed my life. And what a wanker. You know what I mean?

So I think there's that it's the power of choice again, like you said, there isn't it. We've got to be very conscious of if we are putting stuff out there in the, in the world, like what we do, then there's the, it's the Spiderman quote, isn't it? We have great power comes great responsibility, isn't there? You've got to have that responsibility and that consciousness of choosing that I might meet someone in Tesco's who I might have made a significant impact with and they're going to have an expectation that they're the same person that I had on that podcast or whatever. So.

Yeah.

You've got to. It's hard to say this isn't it. It's just being aligned with your values, but still being polite, I think is the word, isn't it? It's a difficult one, isn't it? Difficult.

Yeah, it is but I think I think the polite parts the key part everyone's allowed an off day right everyone's allowed an off day. But life simpler if you're aware you're having an off day and you are able to go that really pleased to meet you. I'm having a tough time right now I've got some stuff going on would you mind if I just said hello and then carried on with my day, you know, and how they then choose to perceive that is entirely up to them. But fundamentally I

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah

Hmm. And that's you being authentic, isn't it? You're being authentic to be honest and open and say, hey, you know, yeah, I'm having a tough day. Yeah. OK, love that. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. I have to, I have to, I was smiling Ricky at one of the bits here. Like there's you and I definitely with our, we would not be doing what we do if we did not have egos, right? And it's like, we're talking around, I'm not famous, but this person came up to me.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yes, I know. Yeah. Well, I know Vanda, if she's listened to this one, so big friend, when we did my values thing, I said to her, I said, Am I a narcissist. I'm sure. What do you mean? I said, well, obviously what I do, you know, I like being on stage. I love the sound of applause. That's what I do. I'm a showman, you know, performer, presenter.

And I said, you know, I love that. But then I'm thinking, you know, it's not all about ego and attention. She went, no, Ricky, you're not a narcissist as far as I'm aware. She went, because narcissists want to inflict pain on people. And she went, what your value is, is significance. I was like, yes, that's right. Yeah. I want to make a significant impact, but I like the, that I'm doing a good job, that I'm getting an applause or I'm making someone feel something. So yeah. Based on this then. Yeah. Yeah, totally, totally.

You gotta love a rebrand. Yeah, that's rebranding it.

So here's the thing that the question I always ask at the end of these conversations is based on your learnings here and your experience of us diving into that question, what do you want the listeners of this episode to go away and think and feel?

What do I want them to think? I think this is pretty much my life mission, right? I don't know if I'd go as far to say it's my purpose because I haven't quite worked that out, but I want people to leave me listening to me ever and have a fab day. That's literally it. Right. I just want them to go either something like, okay, I've listened to Alan and he's got similar challenges to me this day. Okay. So they can feel.

They can feel harmonized with someone else. I'm not the only person and perhaps go and have a better day. Or they go, Oh, that was a bit fun. And they're leaving and they're smiling and they have a better day. But it's like, you know, I know van funny enough to talk about Van. No, she talked about this on our podcast. Can I mention our podcast and, um, uh, digital circus life, the small business podcast, where we explore the life and adventures behind the business owner. Anyway, not that that's pre-rehearsed.

Go for it. Yeah, what is it called Alan?

I'm sorry.

But one of the things Vanda was talking about was when she sees people in the street and she smiles at people and says hello and tries to impact as many people with these micro kind of things throughout the day. And I think that's brilliant. And one of the ones I've always done, and I'm sharing this, I'm not sharing this to boost my ego, I'm sharing this in case it A, makes someone smile and B, someone else goes, do you know what, I'm gonna do that.

But I used to work in kind of retail and insurance and in that bit of car phone warehouse in that big system, right. And spend a lot of time in the contact centers and, um, contact centers, you know, have this very kind of stereotype of they're not exciting places to work. So whenever anyone I was on the phone from a contact center, they would say, can I do anything else for you today? I would go, no, the only thing you can do for me today is have an amazing day. And they would always smile.

and you could hear them smiling or chuckling. And I'm like, so my use of words in that usually negative situation, because most things with a contact center are negative, at the end would usually result in, fingers crossed, someone smiling for at least five minutes, perhaps, you know, and perhaps you never know. And you know, it's that whole, I don't know if this is ripple effect or something else, but because for everything you do, there's almost an infinite amount of options for the next thing.

So we just don't know, but what we can influence is what happens next or now or in the moment, whatever you want to call it. So by saying, is everything all right? Are you having a good day? I hope you have a fabulous day or something like that to the next person you speak to. You just don't know what positive directions then gonna happen, but you can affect that and hopefully, you know, something else will happen.

I like that. So this go out there, be human, be polite and smile. And who knows what that could lead to. Love that. Brilliant, mate. Well, thank you, mate, for coming on the mini series of the Dory of a CEO conversation card. So appreciate your time, mate. And thanks a lot. Cheers.

Yeah.

Exactly that. Exactly that.

Thanks, Ricky. Bye.