Disrespect in teenagers can manifest in many different ways. But the truth that what we often perceive as disrespect, usually comes from a much deeper underlying issue. Often the source is the teen's search for identity and struggle for independence.

Here's 5 things you can start doing today to combat this:

1. Create A Trusting Relationship

Trust is important for any relationship. If you want your teenager to listen to you, or consider what you say, you should earn their trust. You need to say what you mean, and mean what you say. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable by sharing difficult things with them. And always be honest and truthful.

2. Empathize

Remember, you were a teenager once. No matter how unreasonable your teen’s behavior may seem, try to imagine how they are feeling. Focus your attention on their welfare, interests, and needs. Let go of your judgements and critiques. Acknowledge their feelings, ask questions, and don’t try to run ahead in the conversation.

3. Respect Them

Do you want your teen to respect you? Teach them about it by respecting them. You earn respect by leading by example, rather than by fear and intimidation. Acknowledge their unique personality, ideas, opinions, and emotions. Don’t belittle them, EVER!! This one is HUGELY important, don’t criticize or trivialize their ideas or opinions as that can make them insecure as adults. When you treat your teens with respect, they will tend to develop respect towards you.

4. Offer Help

Most teenagers can take care of themselves and may not need your help. But, it is also mportant they know that you are willing and available to help them if they need it. Some teens may feel the need to do everything on their own and consider seeking help as a sign of inadequacy. Teach your kids that not everyone can do everything, and it is okay to ask for help sometimes, that’s part of learning new ideas and skill. You could also ask for their help in your own projects to make them feel involved. When they see you asking for help, they will learn that it's OK too for them to need help.

5. Show Them You Care

Your teenager may hate you or at least, say so. That’s probably not true. Also, they may see your discipline and strictness as hatred towards them and feel like you only want to make their life difficult.. You can mitigate their negative feelings towards you by showing that you care. Not only should tell them how much you love them, but also do little things in THEIR love language to make them happy. Show interest in what they are interested in (even if you have to fake it a little). This will help keep communication channels open for when they really need to talk to you.

Just remember that our purpose is raising confident, independent, and IMPACTFUL adults, and the process will be much less painful.