Deep grieving / weight gain / weight loss

Deep pain/ grieving can haunt us and come up out of nowhere.

Sometimes you can even feel shame for your pain because of judgements you hold against it.

Are you grieving for a person you have lost ?

A decision you have made ?

The pain of loss can feel overwhelming, but there are healthy ways to cope with your grief and learn to heal.

We can also feel angry at our grief because we thought we got over it already a long time ago.

We have all we need now and could be happy if it wasn’t for this grief ..

Learn how to deal with your grief.

What is your pain trying to communicate to you ?

How can you learn precious lessons from your pain ?

How can you use this pain to your advantage and stop suppressing it/ drowning in it.

With much love

A.

This is a place where you can recharge your batteries, reconnect to yourself, 

really get to know yourself and find out what steps you can take to untangle

yourself from a situation you don’t wish to be in. I invite you to get to know yourself better in order for you to make the right choices for yourself in the future.

Learn more at

www.auroraeggertcoaching.com

Free yourself from the ongoing destructive inner chatter.

Discover who you are without all this clutter in your mind.

Let’s dive in and find out more about this juicy topic that will most likely affect you in one way or another. 

In this episode and many other episodes I touch on topics that I usually work on with my clients. Here in my podcast it will be targeted to a broad spectrum of people. If you'd like to go more into depth with a topic I address, reach out to me.

with love and much respect

Aurora

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Unknown: 00:00:05

Hello, and welcome to the Borealis experience. I'm

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your host Aurora, life coach and accountability buddy companion

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on this journey called life. Thank you so much for being

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here. I appreciate you so much.

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Whatever you're doing right now, if you're working, if you're

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just laying on your bed, your couch, if you're driving, I

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really hope you feel good. I hope you feel good about

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yourself. I hope you feel safe, understood and loved. And if you

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don't feel all these beautiful supportive feelings, then I hope

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you feel that you can reach out to me and ask for help. And if

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it is not me, maybe a friend maybe an acquaintance even

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sometimes a stranger can be more help helpful than a person that

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you know already maybe a family member, just know that you're

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not alone. Today, I want to talk about grief, grief, and maybe

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even weight loss weight gain. Maybe you have noticed that I

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haven't posted an episode. Last week, I went through intense

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emotional stuff. I was really on a roller coaster, it felt like

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being in a washing machine. And I felt that the stuff I was

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going through, I couldn't really share with anybody because I

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felt so much shame for my grief. And that's a very deadly combo.

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Because once you feel shame for how you feel, you will suppress

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it and you will not be able to channel it out you will keep it

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in your system in your body. And it's just going to feel like a

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pressure cooker. That's gonna make you feel worse and worse

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and worse. And even though I know that me wreck recreating

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podcast episodes are it's therapeutic for me because

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sardick For me, I was in such a deep dark hole that I couldn't

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even pull myself together. So I apologize for that to some

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degree, but I also value and acknowledge how I felt last week

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and I'm still recovering from that. But yeah, let's let's talk

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about grief because I feel we don't talk about it enough

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because it's so incredibly tough. And that makes it a topic

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for me that is extremely juicy, because I address all the stuff

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that is too intimate, too much too sensitive, too fragile,

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because I feel our society deeply needs that and one said.

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So grief is a feeling of deep loss. Combined with regret. You

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might be feeling responsible for the pain that you inflicted on

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others or your self. You're missing something in your life

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or you lost something in your life that was deeply meaningful.

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If a person is involved for relationship and is involved in

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that's even more intense because we are herd animals we are

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deeply connected to each other's energies and physical physical

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connection but also mental connection. So when you go

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through something traumatic, or you have gone through something

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traumatic and something triggers it and the pain comes back,

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sometimes we feel immobile, paralyzed. We feel we can

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function anymore, right Monday. We were going to work and

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accomplishing all tasks happily and then the other we feel

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triggered and from one second to the other. We are falling back

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into that deep hole of pain and it is a tough place to be in.

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Because sometimes you don't find your words, sometimes you can't

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even make sense of why you're feeling this intense pain

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because maybe the trauma

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is long gone long process do you thought. But now you realize,

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no, it's not. So that's even scary. So it is not only the

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pain that comes on, contact you again. But it is also scary that

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we can't seem to get rid of certain pains, they will always

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be around. So what I've learned to do in the last couple of

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years of, you know, working as a coach and being there for other

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people, and working on myself as well, is to fully embrace that

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pain and to sit with that pain. And as awkward and weird that

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may sound to also take accountability for that pain,

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right to, to know that, yes, we are allowing this pain to come

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up, we're not suppressing it, we're not trying to run away

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from it. We're fully allowing it, to come up, and to look at

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it, to sit with it. And then even more important is to try

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and gently find out. What is this pain, trying to communicate

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to me?

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What is this pain, wanting to show me wanting to make peace

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with? If it is a person that you're missing? It is very good

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practice to ask yourself? What was that person standing for in

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your life? Did it have a symbolic position in your life?

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Was it? Was that person filling a void? Was that person somebody

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that you wish you could be? Be curious. So sit with a pain. Ask

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questions. And I highly recommend that you do that by

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yourself and that you allow the emotions to flow out of you.

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Yeah, you cry or you write a journal, you start writing

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everything down that you feel and think of. But sometimes it's

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also good practice to have someone with you, someone who

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can hold that space for you. And it can be a professional, it can

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be a friend that you ask, Hey, can you hear me out for a

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moment? Can I talk to you about something, are you in a place

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where I can open up about some of my pain. So if you're not

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addressing talking to a professional coach or counselor

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or psychologist, ask a person directly if they are ready to

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hold space for you. And then they can decide for themselves

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and then really be there for you. Or you might have to find

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somebody else. So to make that clear, before you open up to

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somebody about your pin is very, very important. Because if you

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are in pain already, and then feel rejected by a person

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because they were not ready to listen to you adds more pain to

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the pain which you don't need. Another thing I want to talk

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about is that sometimes our pain is so physical, so visceral,

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that we feel the need to either starve that pain or to suffocate

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the pain with food. And this is when weight gain and weight loss

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comes into play. Because sometimes we lose lots of

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weight. While we're grieving. Sometimes we gain lots of weight

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because we're very differently wired and handle our emotions

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differently. And to be and stay in a place of non resistance,

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but also non judgement, right? Not judging yourself for feeling

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that pain still is so incredibly important. And then to go

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further and to notice Hey, Am I taking care of my basic needs?

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Or am I falling back into old coping mechanisms where I feel

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the need to starve. Physical hygiene is becoming difficult,

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or I feel the need to eat so much because my brain made a

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positive connection to food way back. And now I want lots of

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positivity because I want to overcompensate for the

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negativity and the pain I feel. And to notice, when these

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patterns come up to notice when these swords come up of self

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punishment, or over indulgence is so important on your path of

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healing. It is very important to acknowledge your pain, and to

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trust that by doing that, you're not going to go and more intense

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pain and it's going to take longer, and you'll never get

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over it, but to address it, to sit with it, to embrace it, to

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ask the right questions, and then to not fall into coping

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mechanisms that are not healthy, right, as some people over

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exercise when they are in pain, which is also not good. From the

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outside, they will look healthy and strong. But internally,

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they're totally broken. So what's the point? Because you

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won't see your own beauty Anyways,

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if you feel broken inside. So grieve is really a tricky one

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because it comes haunting you out of nowhere, at times, and

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then you feel overwhelmed. You don't want to be a burden to

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other people you shut down and close up. And when people ask

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you how you are you answer with fine, I'm fine. I'm good and

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busy. But you're not you're not busy. And you're not fine,

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because you're struggling so much that you don't even know

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how to function. You don't even know how to get out of bed in

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the morning you don't know how to cover your basic needs. And

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know you don't have to open up to every stranger to cross your

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path and overwhelm them with your stuff. You need to find

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somebody who is trustworthy and who can hold space, a person

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that is neutral would be best choice. And then you can

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engage in a big step in your healing journey. And this is

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what I did over the last couple of days.

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I opened up to people, I allowed myself to cry and to sit there.

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I allowed myself to socialize and just be in company of good

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people good energy, right? Sometimes we feel we have to

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hide and shut ourselves out of the world. And I noticed that I

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was doing that in the past. And now when I feel sick from the

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inside and so sad, I will still say yes to a social gathering.

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If I know I will be surrounded by people that make me feel good

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and safe. So self compassion, gentleness, curiosity. Making

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space allowing yourself to be is what I want to inspire you to

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do. And I want to create the space for you were you can feel

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all this where you can feel safe and good and your strongest self

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and your weaker self and all those feelings that are hard to

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process. I'm very, very excited to be meeting with people and

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personnel after COVID is over. I'm going to host a circle I'm

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going to call them the human circle in the future and people

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pick a topic a week before we need and then I'll work on the

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topic and then we meet in a good place high energy space. And

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I'll be talking for half an hour and then we have a q&a for the

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second half an hour and I'm very Excited to engage and to be an

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exchange with people to learn from you and to grow with you

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together. So if you feel that that would help you on your

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journey, please don't hesitate to reach out and you can always

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request episodes here as well. And shoot me a question if you

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have on Facebook Aurora Eggert and I'll be happy to serve you.

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Brainstorm for you, and help ways for you to become your

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strongest self. Alright, I'm gonna leave you with that. Nuts

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of love. Feel a big warm hug. Until next time, bye bye