Can you be addicted to failure and not even know it?

Well my friend I am here to say "yes"! You absolutely can and I know this because I was.

I've been super fortunate and I've been able to have tremendous amount of success in different areas of my life, but there was always a ceiling. It was as though my success could only go so far and I never quite understood why that was. I kept bringing myself back to a level that I was comfortable with. Tony Robbins talks about this. He talks about the the sixty eight degreer. Any colder than that you're not comfortable any warmer than that, you're not comfortable.

I didn't know I was doing this until I went through this training we are about to through.

The 10 signs that will show you if you are in fact, addicted to failure. If this is you like it was me, great news, you can completely fix it, change it and then the sky will become the limit. You won't have a ceiling in any area of your life any more!

Key Highlights:

[2:32] There are 2 types of people that I want to talk to you about

[4:35] #1 people who are addicted to failure are usually addicted to the approval of others right?

[7:30] #2 entertaining yourself versus educating yourself

[10:32] #3 blaming other people and things for your circumstances

[12:05] #4 people who are addicted to failure are afraid of making mistakes

[15:02] #5 we stay in relationships that are not working

[18:09] #6 people who are addicted to failure are also addicted to drama

[19:26] #7 you're spending your time with people who are going nowhere

[23:52] #8 you are careless with money

[27:57] #9 you have dreams, but no set goals

[35:28] #10 you think other successful people got there by luck

Notable Quotes:

• "You are an average of the 5 people you spend the most time with"
• "There's no CV in TV"
• "For things to change, you have to change. For things to get better, you have to get better."
• "Make a measurable amount of strategic progress."
• "You have to set momentum building goals in order reach your big goal/dream"

Resources:

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Links to Episodes Mentioned: 

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00:00.52

Samantha gamble

Well hello. My friend. Thank you so much for joining me here on episode 11 and the title is can you be addicted to failure and not even know it. Well my friend I am here to say yes. You absolutely can and I know this because I was you know I've been super fortunate and I've been able to have tremendous amount of success in different areas of my life where they're from family. Um career. You name it but there was always a ceiling. So it was as though my success could only go so far and I never quite understood why that was and it was almost as though I was self sabotaging in a way to kind of. Bring myself back to a level that I was comfortable with and Tony Robbins talks about this. He talks about the the sixty eight degree or you know if any colder than that you're not comfortable any warmer than that. You're not comfortable and so you have to work on yourself to grow out of your comfort and anyway I didn't. Know I was doing this until I went through this training and we're going to go through the 10 signs that will show you if you are in fact, addicted to failure or not and if this is you like it was me great news.

01:27.53

Samantha gamble

You can completely fix it and change it and then the sky will become the limit. You won't have a ceiling in any area of your life like I do today but this has taken you know I I had this training about five and a half six years ago and the light bulb clicked and I was able to go ahead and turn my life around and. Break through that ceiling but you have to acknowledge that this in fact, is you and so as you would go through these 10 signs of possible addiction to failure. Then you can go ahead and fix those because now you know and you will see a huge huge difference but in starting out here. There are 2 types of people that I want to talk to you about the first type of person is ah you know let's go. Ah, don't let the grass grow under your feet early bird catches. The worm. You've got this It's not a problem. It's a challenge bigger the challenge bigger the paycheck you know that type of person right? that it's very rare that that person is down ah feels defeated that person doesn't ever really feel that because. They end up always finding a workaround finding a solution I'll figure it out. They get it done for this type of person life happens for this person now the second type of person may want the same things as that first person. But.

02:54.92

Samantha gamble

They're more of a sit back. Let's see what happens I want to have success if only I had more contacts or if only I knew how to do social media marketing if I had more time. Um, if I knew how to sell if I had the new iphone with the fancy camera. You know that type of a person and that type of person tends to find an excuse not to do something very very easily and by the way you don't ever need a bunch of excuses not to do something. It only takes one excuse. It doesn't even have to be a good excuse to be honest, but life happens to this person see the difference one is life happens for them. The other is life happens to them so usually in a person who is addicted to failure. They're usually more of a number 2 person life happens to this type of person I was kind of a combo of 1 and 2 to be honest, but now I'm definitely 100% number one person. So you know, many people um, are addicted to failure even if they really really you know dream of being successful. You know, most people don't even know that they're addicted to failure I know I didn't you know and the truth is that most of us actually are but the great news is that.

04:22.60

Samantha gamble

This is an addiction that can be completely overcome and changed and you can actually be addicted to success versus addicted to failure. So there are 10 signs that will show you if you are addicted to failure and how to correct. Each and every single one you know losing is a habit but the great news is so is winning all right? Let's get started now number 1 people who are addicted to failure are usually addicted to the approval of others right? or Snopes. So it's called. Susceptible to the negative influences of other people you and this was me a hundred percent like hi I'm Sam I'm a people pleaser here now. It's hi I'm Sam I'm a former people pleaser I haven't pleased people for five and a half years right. But that's a hard one to stop I'm not going to lie. This was probably 1 of the hardest ones because you know we often. Um, approach other people that are in our circle we ask for advice or their opinions and. Because we want their acceptance. We want them to come back and say yes I think that yeah that is just an absolute magnificent idea I totally think you should go for that network marketing company build that business you're going to have so much success. That's so awesome.

05:49.24

Samantha gamble

Chances are unfortunately we usually get a heavy dose of negativity and a list of reasons why it wouldn't work or you know why it or we whatever it is why it isn't right? Why it isn't good Etc. We have to remember. When we listen and take advice from other people we're buying their lifestyle essentially and this and I don't mean to make this just all about business. This goes for any area of your life. It's if you are dating somebody New. You wouldn't approach. A friend who let's say who's been divorced 4 times single always speaks negatively about the opposite sex etc. You wouldn't go to them chances are for relationship advice or say hey how do you? You know? What do you think of my new Boyfriend. You're not going to get a positive response right? does that make sense so you have to be very careful with who you seek advice and opinions of so it's very important that you. Only seek advice or opinions of the people whose Lifestyle you would like know it does and again it doesn't have to be about money I'm talking about you know what is they? maybe it's their spiritual life that you would like to have or their family life or their philanthropic life.

07:22.19

Samantha gamble

Whatever it is so look at that and take that into consideration your successful people gather enough information to make a decision and then they make that decision and they stick to it you leaders make decisions a wrong decision is better than indecision 100 Percent of the time they don't go around people people people get advice and opinions and vice and opinions and they certainly don't get advice and opinions from peoples who pee from people from people's lifestyles that they don't want as their own. Okay, so keep that in mind number two here's a big 1 entertaining yourself versus educating yourself my friend there is no cv in Tv that's right commission volume. There is no commission volume in Tv. Now I venture to say that every single person who is not living up to their potential. So let's call someone who's not living up to their potential unsuccessful right? Every single one of those types of people myself included choose temporary pleasure over long term happiness. This is so easy to do in today's world I mean when I lived in England I had four Tv chat we had 3 Tv channels then it increased to 4 it was like woo yay. But then we moved to California and we had 32 and I just couldn't believe it mean now. Holy smokes you can watch.

08:51.29

Samantha gamble

Whatever you want whenever you want twenty four seven we not to mention the endless scrolling on social media that just sucks up more time than anyone would ever want to admit out loud but unsuccessful people spend time. Versus successful people invest time so instead of being addicted to failure. We can get addicted to growing and educating ourselves now I'm a huge huge advocate for personal development but there's a huge difference between personal development. And personal development education. So. It's great to incorporate personal development every day whether you read it listen it listen to it watch it. You can then you know metabolize that information and parrot it. Essentially you can repeat it. You can recite it. Nothing wrong with that. But if you truly want to have success and you truly want to maximize this life that we are so blessed to have then personal development education is where it's at right? This is where you read listen watch. However, it is that you gain your knowledge you gain that personal development but then you implement it you do it and if you want to take it 1 step further you teach it so it kind of like this training here I learned this six years ago five six years ago

10:24.16

Samantha gamble

Now I'm teaching it because it had such a powerful impact on my life. So why should I just keep it to myself. It's it's my duty to pass this information along so personal development personal development personal development education. So you actually. You know implement what it is that you have learned you do it and then take it one step further you teach it and by teaching it. My friend it becomes ingrained in you. It becomes second nature and you know plus you're benefiting everyone else around you. It's a win win. All right? So number 3 blaming other people and things for your circumstances now here's a fun fact, our successes as well as our failures they have 1 common denominator. Yeah, it's us. We're the one at the successes. We're the one at the failures. It's us the surrounding elements of the successes or the failures those always vary but the common denominator is always us I know it's a sucky thing to think about, but it's so true. Made an unsuccessful people look for excuses as to why something isn't working. Yeah why something isn't going as planned and like I said before any old excuse will do. You know my upline never returned my message That's why I'm not successful or you know I don't like to use Facebook so I'm not going to.

11:58.46

Samantha gamble

Atm or you know the holidays are coming up so it's now's not a good time or we're in a recession right? You get the picture any excuse will work successful people or leaders look for solutions. You? How can I solve this so you're. Your upline's not returning your message. How can you solve this who else can you go to? who else can you talk to you? How can I win anyway, they have that climb the mountain mentality right? You can imagine it. You're sitting at the base of Mount Everest and at the top of that mountain is your. Ultimate lifestyle that you've always dreamed of you just have to climb that mountain and it's yours everything you've ever dreamt of and ever wanted in your life is yours at that top of the mountain but you just have to climb the mountain. So by god you are going to make it somehow some way. You are you are going to do it. You might get cut bruised scraped up, you might cry along the way but dang it, you are making it to the top of that mountain with or without any of your naysayers around you that is. How successful people and leaders think they're doing it with or without you, they're going for it now number 4 people who are addicted to failure are afraid of making mistakes this one is um.

13:31.47

Samantha gamble

You know, really speaks to the inaction because most people who are addicted to failure. They are also addicted to inaction because they're afraid that they're going to do it wrong. They're afraid they're going to look silly or people will laugh at them or. People judge them. this is this is the ego right? This is the ego that gets in our way and my friend John Melton says you know your ego is not your amigo and it's so true, but successful people do it anyway. You know sometimes you just have to get out and do something it might not print. It might not be pretty. It might not turn out. It might not be anywhere near. You know how you wanted it to turn out but you just do it the more you take that uncomfortable action. The more comfortable it becomes and then the better you get at it. It's kind of like ah we were born right? We we weren't born walking. We weren't born talking. We weren't born tying our shoes. We weren't born driving a car but we took constant and consistent action. And till we mastered those skills right? now we can walk we can talk we can tie our shoes. Some of us can drive and if you've been on the roads here in California my friend there are some people who can't but anyway that's entirely different but you get my drift right? it's.

14:58.21

Samantha gamble

You you keep doing those uncomfortable actions like you obviously we don't remember learning how to walk. But if you have children you watch them learn how to walk and they pull themselves up and you think oh gosh please don't fall and smack your head on that table. You're pulling yourself up from. But they do they fall and they hit themselves they fall on their bum over and over and over again. But they keep getting up and then they take they stand up and then they might take 1 step and they fall down and they stand up and they take 2 steps and fall down but they don't just quit. They don't say oh this is too uncomfortable I'm tired of falling down. Forget it. I'm just not going to be a walker I suppose no we kept getting up and up and up why because we wanted to walk we wanted that so badly so you need to attack life in that way we might fall down we might get bruised. We might get banged up people might laugh at us when we fall down that is oh. Okay, no lives are lost. Okay, we get up. We dust ourselves off and we go at it again and then next thing you know you're running so number 5 we stay in relationships that are not working. Who's guilty of this I am if you could see me I'm raising my hand right now this was me to the t why because I didn't I don't ever want to hurt. Anyone's feelings right? So I stay in relationships that weren't working for me.

16:31.17

Samantha gamble

Because I didn't want to hurt the other person's feelings and that goes back to being the people pleaser. We first talked about so anyway Jim Rowan late great Jim row amazing gentleman. Super wise he says that. We're an average of the 5 people we surround ourselves with the most right and that there's many other great leaders who have said this you know same thing very similar thing so we must choose wisely. You usually people who are addicted to failure tend to also be addicted to drama. Gossip negativity. You know so therefore those are the people that they attract into their life you you kind of get more of what you are and you know that tends to happen if you and if you kind of look around your circle if this but is pertaining to you. You can look around say okay and you'll be able to see it and you'll be able to recognize it and we'll address that in just a second you know successful people usually surround themselves ah with relationships that are meaningful and healthy and positive. You know people also want to live their best life. You know they they kind of strengthen and challenge each other and they make the people around them better. So therefore they attract that same type of person that that same caliber of people right? and again this is not all about money. You guys.

17:57.80

Samantha gamble

So you you could be a billionaire and have a friend who has you know a couple hundred but you know a couple hundred bucks in in the bank that's totally fine, but you you might be attracted to them because maybe their family life is amazing or their philanthropic work is amazing or. Their spiritual life is something that you would love to have case. It's not all about a huge bank accounts. Not all about success in the business world number 6 and it's kind of all ties in together but people who are addicted to failure are also addicted to drama. So this is similar to number 5 but it's important to recognize if this is a trait that you currently have and if you do you need to address it. You know I mean your life is not a reality show. We are not all keeping up with the kardashians you guys? ok. You know they live up the street here and trust me, we are not them now. So talking badly about other people or arguing and not having harmony in in relationships you currently have. That will not get you to where you want to go in life right? It will not help you live your best life. You need to learn how to cultivate healthy relationships and stop yourself when you're about to say something you can't take back right and we've all done this I I I laugh sometimes that that just fell out of my mouth.

19:24.91

Samantha gamble

Right? Did it really know I could have stopped myself. But if you really think about what it is. You're about to say and run through a quick process of okay this this person I'm about to say this to will they benefit from hearing this will I benefit by saying this. Chances are the answer is no so then just bite your tongue and don't say it and you'll quickly get over that habit and it's quite refreshing. Actually when you do so number 7 you're spending your time with people who. Are going nowhere remember iron sharpens iron and so five six and 7 all kind of tie in together right? So who are your 5 closest friends who are the 5 people you spend the most amount of time with I mean you may very well have to limit your time. With them and surround yourself with others that have the lifestyle that you want right? So you think of your if you're an average of the 5 people you surround yourself with look at those people and if they have the lifestyle that. You you would love to aspire to then? fantastic if they don't this doesn't mean you have to cut them out but you may just have to limit your time with them and limit your exposure to them. You look at.

20:49.81

Samantha gamble

22:23.25

Samantha gamble

And so it's hard to limit your friends that you've known forever and ever. But the great is a great tool on how to do that and kind of push yourself to get the job done so to speak and that is to think of it this way this person that. Is one of your 5 if my child if you don't have a child if it's your niece or nephew or you know a child that you certainly love and care about if your child was hanging out with that person. Would you want them to spend time with that person and emulate them and if the answer is no, you know again that doesn't mean you have to cut all ties with that person but it does mean you need to limit the amount of time that you are around them. So using your child as a gauge and by the way that goes great for dating if you're dating someone and you think gosh you know what I want my child to be dating a person like this and if the answer is no then it should be no for you too. This is a little. That's a little side pro tip you know I so. And we continue on here you you only have to do this this step if you really want to live your best life. You know? Um, you're here. So I'm assuming that that is what you want, You do want your best life. My uncle. He always says life is not a dress rehearsal.

23:51.16

Samantha gamble

25:25.59

Samantha gamble

That make sense where that that ° don't want to go up. Don't want to go down. We're comfortable at this median range. It's also because people who are addicted to failure. We want that instant gratification kind of ties back into the educate versus entertain. We like that instant gratification. We can't wait for that new phone. We can't wait for that. Whatever it is so therefore we stay broke and not living our best life. So if this is you as it. It was me then you have to revisit your money philosophy look up money differently. It's not just something to spend right? It's not just something that to that you can use to go get things. It's something that you can actually have work for you to make you more money. So if you think of it as a tool as a business tool to make you more and more money that helps as well and it will help limit your actual and spontaneous spending you put your money to work for you. Even if you would set just a little bit aside every week for investing that's a great start set up a. Automatic deduction out of your account and you know if it's not um, automatically deducted then we'll spend it right? If there's an extra twenty bucks in there. It's going to get spent so but if it's automatically deducted. We're not going to miss that $20.

26:49.28

Samantha gamble

But like when I started this I was so clueless I was clues about investing and all the other stuff and so I found an app years and years ago it was called Albert and I know it's still out there because they still have money sitting there with them. But it's a great way to start if you're a beginner at this. Because they tie into your bank account and they pull out whatever amount of money you tell them to pull out every single week or every single month and it kind of forces you into that habit and so it's a really great place to start. It's called Albert um, check it out anyway. So with this, you need to get rid of your. Failure money vocabulary and what I mean by that is instead of saying I can't afford it say it's not the right time yet instead of saying it's that's too expensive say I'll do it when I dut da and please please please please do not. Fake it until you make it that was so 80 s and 90 s my friends right? stay in your lane and do things when you can right? And if there's something that you really want. Let's say you really want to take your family on a vacation then set up an automatic withdrawal that goes directly into a fun fund. Right? A separate savings account just for these extra items that you want to do right and just a little bit every week every month you will be so surprised at ah, how quickly your fun fund or any fund will actually grow number 9 we're almost there. You guys 2 more you have dreams.

28:21.98

Samantha gamble

But no set goals now I'm a huge believer in dreams you know dreams are amazing I love it but dreams as nice as they are they can make us lazy dreams are super easy to have but they make us lazy you many of us have that. Dream home or the dream vacation or even the dream body that that we want. That's all great, but how do we turn that dream into a reality. It's not enough to just dream. We have to have goals or or checkpoints if you will. That go with those dreams. So as an example, let's say um, my daughter lives in New York I live in California and I decide I'm going to have this dream of driving a cross country from California to New York I wouldn't just go into my car and. Start driving away because I have this dream of driving to New York of course not who in the heck knows why I would end up right? I don't even want to know where I would end up right? you would. But you know I would map it out and I would look and I would identify. You know I'd pull it up on my maps and I would identify stopping points where I want to stop and spend the night and you know where you eat at each stop and then I would probably service my car I'd make sure that it has gas in it I would pack everything I needed for the trip especially snacks and then.

29:52.96

Samantha gamble

It was time to go I would enter in my first stop into my my maps app and I would get turn by turn instructions that would take me to my first rest stop and then the next day I would get up and I would enter in my next stop. And I would again I would get turn by turn instructions until I reached the destination for that day and I would do that for 3 or 4 days in a row time made it to New York and next thing you know I'm sitting next to my amazing daughter having the best bagel of my life right? But if I just sat in my car and just drove. I wouldn't end up in New York but you I had to have I would have to have those those measurable goals those measurable checkpoints along the way to ensure that my dream of actually arriving in New York became a reality right? I made. I made measurable amount of strategic progress and that took me to New York right measurable amount of strategic progress will get you to your big dream. Your big goal. You know, getting your dream home or going on your dream vacation or having that dream body. It all works the same way. Your dreams are useless without the work and that's where the goals come in. You know some dreams may take years to accomplish right? Let's say if you want this.

31:17.75

Samantha gamble

You know, amazing home here in malibu overlooking the ocean and you're just now getting started in network marketing business is that possible to get that home ab fricking lootly but is it going to take some time abs a freaking lootly. You just don't have it yet. But. What I highly encourage you to do is if with especially with those big goals with big kind of life changing dreams is that you set up momentum building goals and I know Ed my let talks about this as well in his new book. Um, the power of 1 more. And the momentum building goals that you have along the way those will bring you closer and closer and closer to that ultimate dream. So let me give you an example, let's say you're just now starting out with your network marketing business. So now you're working for yourself and whether you do it full time part time. What have you? but. Let's say this is your first time working by yourself on your own for shape of your support team. Everything else, but you're basically your own boss. So let's say and you have this big goal to buy that dream home and Malibu well to get to where you are now to that. Beautiful home in malibu set up your many momentum building goals and you do that by let's say okay I'm going to set my alarm clock to get up an hour earlier so I can get a jump on the day and start my business.

32:51.38

Samantha gamble

I have an extra hour in the morning. That's one momentum building goal and you can add to that you you. So now you're getting up an hour earlier and you're doing it now you can add to that. Okay, now it's I'm going to expose 5 people a day. To my products and our opportunity and now you're doing that and you can add to that 10 people 15 people. Then you can add so you add all these little um, measurable amount of strategic progress activities that. Build upon each other like building blocks and they build you up to your dream home or whatever your big dream is and this works for any area of your life. You start with a little momentum goal building goal that gets you. To your big goal and what this does along the way it gives you that sense of accomplishment because you're constantly and so you're constantly feeding your subconscious mind of okay I'm I'm doing the right activity I'm heading in the right direction. This is really working I'm really going to hit that I'm really doing it. Versus if you is you're here where you are now and then your big dream home is all the way over there and and you don't have any positivity. You don't have any ah positive reinforcement between now and then chances of you hitting that big dream are slim to none. You have to have that.

34:21.45

Samantha gamble

That positive reinforcement all along the way to keep you going all right number 10 I hope you guys are really getting us and don't worry about taking notes I have a whole slide deck and show notes and all of that that are available on ah on the website now put all the. The link information here in the show all right number 10 you think that other successful people got there by luck now this way I didn't really suffer from that much to be honest, but I know a lot of people who do and most people who are addicted to failure are jealous. Of people. Um, who have what it is that they would like to have music for me as an example where I I kind of and suffered from this one is if I saw what I thought was a ah perfect family. You know, look like the husband a wife. Were just absolutely made for each other and the whole family got along amazingly well and you know they had dinners together and you know all of that stuff and I obviously I didn't have that in my in my marriage. So so I didn't think that. They got there by luck but there was a little bit of jealousy in there for sure. But you know they they people who are addicted to failure. They kind of think that you know the successful family or career or social life is because they were they were lucky. You know they were born into the right family they were in the right place at the right time they didn't.

35:49.24

Samantha gamble

Have to have any of the struggles that you had to have and if they did then they wouldn't have the type of success that they have you know so on and so on well luck for successful minded people and successful minded people. That's what we have to be successful minded. Before we actually hit that success. You can't you don't just snap into success. You have to be successfully minded first. So for the successfully minded people luck is actually an acronym and it's laboring under correct knowledge laboring under correct knowledge and this. You repeat you do it over and over and over and over again until this comes true Mark Hughes the late great Mark Hughes founder of herbal life. He would always say the harder you work the luckier you get. That means that the more effort you put into reaching your dreams and achieving your goals the luckier you get so the more labor under correct knowledge. You do the luckier. You're going to get right? So you know if you. You want more. You have to become more. You've all all heard probably if it's going to be It's up to me and Jim Rowan is famous for saying for things to change you have to change for things to get better. You have to get better and that all ties back into the.

37:17.49

Samantha gamble

Entertain versus educate right? So you have to get better. Yeah, we make our own luck in this world and I guess the exception maybe would be winning the lottery but even winning the lottery you still have to go out and buy that ticket. Right? So just to recap here that the 10 signs number 1 addicted to the approval of other people or snopes to entertaining yourself versus educating yourself 3 blaming other people and things for your circumstances and 4 afraid of making mistakes 5 staying in relationships that are not working 6 addicted to drama 7 you're spending your time with people who are not going anywhere number 8 you are careless with money number nine you have dreams but no set goals number 10 you think other successful people got there by Luck. So my friend in closing if you can relate or identify to any of these 10 signs or all of them. Maybe I encourage you take a strong look at yourself and adjust your course life is not too short and um, you know it. We have to give it our all my friend. We only have this one life. You know Tony Robbins talks about the rocking chair test and that is picture how your life is going today and let's say you don't change a thing you keep doing what you're doing. You have the the same daily method of operation.

38:51.60

Samantha gamble

So you're doing the same thing day in day out next thing you know now you're 90 years old you're sitting on your porch in a rocking chair rocking back and forth back and forth reflecting on your life and picture yourself doing that looking back on your life. Would you be thrilled. With how your life turned out if you keep on your current path if it's a yes, then my gosh congratulations that is awesome. But if it's a no then let's put into work some of these things and turn that into a hell. Yes. Right? We can do it you guys and let me leave you with this. This is a great quote by Stanley Tucci I thought it was from the robots movie but it's not from Stanley Tucci is is a dream that you don't fight for can haunt you for the rest of your life. My friend. Thank you so much for spending this time with me and I will see you next thursday.