Summary:

Nicole Dubois is a nonprofit executive leader and CHRO with 19+ years building people systems and developing leaders. She’s also the author of Unparalyzed, a memoir she first published under the pseudonym “Danielle M. Bryan” before choosing to stand fully in her story.

I sat down with Nicole to unpack a career shaped by courageous pivots: the “principal’s office” meeting that launched her into HR leadership, a mid-life health diagnosis that reframed everything, and the decision to drop the mask and claim her work under her real name. This one’s a masterclass in moving forward without perfect certainty—and why you can’t lead while hiding.

Chapters:

00:00 – The mask: why she published under a pseudonym (and what changed)

07:00 – Mixed feelings, sponsorship, and choosing the leap

09:00 – The mantra: be afraid—but move anyway

14:00 – Divorce, MS, and writing Unparalyzed

19:00 – “You can only be one person”: unmasking at work and beyond

28:00 – Telling the team, dropping the pseudonym, leading more openly

32:00 – Where to find the book + closing reflections

Host Alexa Beavers: linkedin.com/in/alexabeaverspmp

Guest Nicole Dubois: linkedin.com/in/nicole-dubois-24568510

Executive Producer Shannon Cornelison: linkedin.com/in/shannon-cornelison-9aa8b8248

Creative Advisor Dr. Jim Kanichirayil: linkedin.com/in/drjimk

Music Credit: "Lost in Dreams" by Kulakovka

I can't share the messiness that I'm dealing with and all that. And I went to a book expo and I was so proud. I had like my, personalized tablecloth and these custom these custom bookmarks. I was pulling one out leather bookmarks and I was just so happy, that folks were stopping by and asking me about the book and about my story.

And I remember these moments of feeling awkward 'cause I'm talking about my personal story, but it's this other persona, and so there was someone that was delivering a keynote talk. She's a she's a council person in the town where I live, and she also was like in marketing.

And she's I get exactly why you've chosen to do that, but I need you to hear something. You can only be one person.

Speaker: Most people don't stay stuck because they're incapable. They stay stuck because they're afraid and they're waiting for the certainty that never comes. We're taught that good leadership and a good life require a plan, a clear path, certainty before action, follow the steps and it'll all work out. But what if that belief is exactly what keeps so many people stuck exactly where they're, you know, why? That happens because fear doesn't disappear before you take the next step.

Nicole Dubois is a nonprofit executive leader with over 19 years of experience in organizational leadership and talent development. She currently serves as Chief Human Resources Officer at Graham Wyndham, where she focuses on building strong people, systems, developing leaders, and strengthening organizational effectiveness while she's strengthening communities.

She originally published it under the pseudonym Danielle M. Bryan. This was a choice that she made that reflected the way many of us professionals feel pressured to mask our identity and mask our full humanity at work. Today, Nicole stands fully in her story. She shares her work under her real name, proudly and unmasked, using her lived experiences to inspire courage, self-trust, and forward movement, even when fear is in the seat right beside her.

Alexa Beavers: I welcome you to the show today, Nicole. Thank you so much for joining me.

Nicole Dubois: Thank you so much for having me, Alexa.

Alexa Beavers: Yeah, I'm really excited to unpack your story today. I would love to hear from you your messy moment that you'd be willing to share with folks that are our listeners

And then I went on to obtain a master's in mental health counseling. And I found an organization that led with a mission that I really believed in Graham, which is a child, family, and community serving organization in New York City. And after graduate school, I actually started doing work that overlapped with data analysis and program measurement and spent several years actually in that space.

Was there a deadline that I missed? Or, was there some sort of something that was off about my work?

Alexa Beavers: So you see this thing coming in the, the first what's up? A little bit of mini panic

Nicole Dubois: Absolutely. It was the, the top two folks in the organization and here I was, someone that I don't even think I had turned 30 yet, and I'm being called into this meeting.

Alexa Beavers: Did it feel like you were going to the principal's

Nicole Dubois: felt like I was going to the principal's office. It's exactly how it felt. But what happened in that meeting is something that changed the course of my career, maybe my life.

And I was sitting here thinking what on earth is human resources? And, but in that conversation, there was some changes that were happening on the HR team at the time. And he literally thought that the role that I was in, I was like a director of staff training and compliance. In a role that set outside of hr, but that we should literally just take my role and almost like a Lego piece and move it from one department and move it over to hr.

Alexa Beavers: So you go from getting this. Meeting on your calendar thinking I'm going to the principal's office, what could it be? Oh my goodness. You get in and then suddenly they're sharing. We see something amazing and you're like, Tell me how your emotions were during that period of, you know, discovery.

The conversation with her about how I just absolutely never did other people's bodily fluids and it was not for me. And so I had to make, a sort of a decision about what tugged at my own curiosity and where did I think I could best. Utilize my talent. So here I was now in, in this conversation and it felt this other turning point, another turning point, that was happening for me because I thought I was like on one path.

But that's exactly what happened.

Alexa Beavers: yeah, I'm hearing a little bit of like mixed feelings in a way. maybe flattered, I guess. after you get the initial kind of wait, this re is reminiscent of when my mom wanted me to be a nurse and I needed to find my own way because as you said, Bo bodily fluids aren't for you. and you know, as parents we all wanted the best for our kids. And it sounds like this person who was your boss who was seeing you, wasn't seeing you as, as a child, but seeing you as a professional

Nicole Dubois: that's right.

Alexa Beavers: Not only do I want the best for this person, but I think this person skillset could be the best for this organization.

She just doesn't see it yet. Um, Is that right?

Nicole Dubois: That's exactly right. That's exactly

Alexa Beavers: a special honor

Alexa Beavers: Be afraid, but do it anyway.

Nicole Dubois: right. Because

Alexa Beavers: you took the leap, but I, I was thinking, well, what made you take the leap? What did make you take the leap?

Nicole Dubois: because I was I realized I didn't have anything to lose. I realized that all I would be doing was gaining perspective, adding to my experience, adding to my, professional portfolio. And so I'm like, what am I really gonna lose here? And I was still connected to an organization whose mission mattered to me.

And so I became first the acting head of hr, and that lasted for about a month until I ultimately became the head of hr.

Alexa Beavers: that's a very exciting story and I'm sure that it, there was a lot in between those moments. You said something, and I wanna rewind to it a little bit. You said be afraid and do it, but do it anyway. And you said I had nothing to lose and I was working for a mission that I really cared about.

And I think that's an important aspect of your journey. You know, Had you been in an organization where your values might not have been so aligned, you may not have been willing to take the chance. I don't know. Can you talk to me a little bit about that thought process

I've, I remember doing an internship in a homeless shelter. I've done many different things and now certainly, work that that mainly centers in human resources, learning and development, volunteerism. But the common thread if there is one, has all been about helping people.

Helping others, right? So I may not have wanted to go about that work by being a registered nurse like my mom but at the same time making a difference and having a meaningful impact. With others that could benefit hopefully from something that I, bring to the table has always been front and center regardless of the opportunity that I've pursued.

It's just maybe going about it in a slightly different way yeah,

Alexa Beavers: I I love that you connected it Even what your mother may have seen in you and her way of helping was through nursing. And she oh, this this kid is a helper. I can see her helping. She may have seen that and thought, okay, nursing is the path. You found your own way to help. And you did that in a number of ways

Nicole Dubois: Found my own way to help. Yep.

Alexa Beavers: whether it's in substance abuse, whether it's in advocacy, whether it's in talent and development.

Um, All of those things you say are, there's a red thread.

Nicole Dubois: A hundred percent.

Alexa Beavers: what did it take for you to find your red thread?

It is connected, that it has to be something about my DNA, something in my

Alexa Beavers: your, it's your you. Yeah.

Nicole Dubois: Yeah. It's my me. Yeah. And sometimes perspective and time is what we need, to figure it out.

Alexa Beavers: Yeah, perspective time, but it also sounds like you did some careful reflection or maybe had gave yourself just a little bit of space

Nicole Dubois: I think that's right. And I think when I think about this mantra that I was talking about, be afraid and do it anyway, there literally there was a moment after that being brought to the principal's office where I was like, oh yeah this is something I actually believe in and that I'm doing.

uh, And

and chaos.

Alexa Beavers: chaos.

Nicole Dubois: That's

Alexa Beavers: your body isn't doing what you've always thought it should be able to do, you know, your support structure going through a divorce, all of that. It sounds like a melting point. If I was going through your

Nicole Dubois: And I remember taking, I took a trip to Greece, two weeks solo. Went to Athens, went to Anos. Went to Santorini, and I was like, oh my gosh, there's no way I could do this two weeks in a country where I don't speak the native language. And I've never done something like this.

And so in that, the fall of that year. I took this solo trip and I remember climbing to the top of the Acropolis of Athens, feeling like I was on top of the world

Alexa Beavers: Yeah, I'm getting this. I'm getting all

Nicole Dubois: and getting all of this. And I was like, dang maybe it's okay that I was terrified, but what matters is I did it anyway. And so I carried that with me in.

So much of what I do personally, professionally, it is, something I speak with students about. Be afraid and take that leap. Do it anyway.

Alexa Beavers: I mean, I have goosebumps because I can just envision you facing all of these incredible

hurdles and giving yourself. One, a little bit of grace to do a trial and saying, okay, I'm gonna treat you with compassion. You might be scared, but I mean, you know, I can just see you really nurturing

Nicole Dubois: Sure.

In some cases it can. What did that afraidness, but doing it anyway. Allow you to do as you moved that, that trip, that seminal trip.

Nicole Dubois: all of that has conspired to help me develop courage and confidence. And, I I get around now quite a bit speaking with just. Groups that either invite me to speak with them or that I, just feel passionate about. So I talk about, the university tour that I've been on.

I call it a tour 'cause I feel like I'm on a college campus a week. But I talk about this all the time and using my personal sort of experience, likening it to taking risks in career. How many of us have struggled with, should I take this, job? Should I try a new industry, or go for this, promotion.

We're not gonna, it's life. We're not gonna break it.

Alexa Beavers: Yeah. And then in your book what was the title of your book?

Nicole Dubois: Un paralyzed.

Alexa Beavers: Wow, that's powerful. And it's all about the power of thriving

I think when you say you know it's life, you're not gonna break it. If you live in the space of, ugh, I'm always gonna break it, you probably are not gonna be in that space of thriving.

Nicole Dubois: That's right.

Alexa Beavers: Yeah. you, when you think about what compelled you to share your story through the book, and as you visit these college campuses, and I mean, these are very personal experiences, that like to unbe yourself in

I can't share the messiness that I'm dealing with and all that. And I went to a book expo and I was so proud. I had like my, personalized tablecloth and these custom these custom bookmarks. I was pulling one out leather bookmarks and I was just so happy, that folks were stopping by and asking me about the book and about my story.

And I remember these moments of feeling awkward 'cause I'm talking about my personal story, but it's this other persona, and so there was someone that was delivering a keynote talk. She's a she's a council person in the town where I live, and she also was like in marketing.

And she's I get exactly why you've chosen to do that, but I need you to hear something. You can only be one person. In that moment, like tears started flowing because she was right. And since that moment, I have taken every opportunity that I've had available to me to show up as just me, right?

Alexa Beavers: I was gonna ask you, what does that feel like? You know, What's the distinction between, maybe you were un paralyzed, but you were still masked, now you're What does that do for you? I mean,

Nicole Dubois: Inside, outside I'm just like, oh my goodness. Imagine I could just show up and just be myself,

Alexa Beavers: all the sides

Nicole Dubois: you know?

Alexa Beavers: you.

Nicole Dubois: I remember I got my first paid speaking engagement and people have been invited me on different stages and it's oh, that was such a great story that you told them. I'm like it's just my story.

Maybe being, first generation college student, or having a family that was born in the Caribbean or whatever. It's right. And so I was like if I can't find that story, maybe I should write my own.

Alexa Beavers: And it's been giving so much to people. As you've gone around and shared a little bit your whole self, you're helping people, which ties back to what

Nicole Dubois: That's right.

Alexa Beavers: to do in the first place. It's your red thread.

Nicole Dubois: you go.

Yeah,

Alexa Beavers: know, all of this started with that trip to the principal's office

Nicole Dubois: that's true.

Alexa Beavers: through this, a couple of really ahas have come out.

your, your way of living. Be afraid, but do it anyway. You talked about kind of your why or your red thread, you know, that connects everything and you really discovered that through, you know, years.

now?

Nicole Dubois: I would say that every one of those pivotal moments has opened the door to the next pivotal moment and the work is not done. There are moments now where. I am like, oh my goodness, I think I'm terrified to take this chance. And, but still I am brought back to previous points in time where, I was afraid, but I leaned into it, and so then it gives me it's like this gift that keeps on giving

Alexa Beavers: Like a flywheel of courage or

Has also helped to propel me forward and that I talk a lot about, even when I'm looking for talent to join my teams is curiosity, right? And so I think it's my unending curiosity that it's always caused me to learn and to figure out different ways of reflecting or, what are those, other opportunities that I haven't considered.

And there are like certain competencies of course that might be better matched for different roles or different organizations. But curiosity is one underlying trait that I think never gets old and that is always going to pull me in someone that is, curious.

Nicole Dubois: when I think about curiosity, I think about being just always open to. Learning and more, and, having a sort of a, an abundance mindset. There could be more, there is more, for our hearts, our minds ha and just be having an open mind, that's what I think, I think about.

And so that's how we come across those moments. To have occasion to to think about am I, what am I feeling right now? I love traveling, so I'm an avid traveler, and after that I keep on calling it that messy moment that caused me to write this book. I I started, traveling to a bucket list destination every year on my birthday.

Nicole Dubois: Bali, Indonesia, which took 26 hours and it was worth every hour. South Africa, so Johannesburg and Cape Town, and then I went to the Cayman Islands twice within a two month period. Then, I actually remarried and my husband and myself and my mom and her sister somehow have become our travel buddies.

So we did a 10 day Mediterranean cruise where we went to Istanbul, back to Greece. We went to France, we went to Tuscany. It was just, it's been gorgeous this year in March, we went to Lisbon and then we went to Barcelona, we went to Morocco for our honeymoon. We've, I can't even name some of the places Belize's I just went to a couple of months ago.

So just love traveling and I would've been terrified. To go to most of those places. South Africa was a 16 hour direct flight from JFK,

Nicole Dubois: There were two layovers, but still, that was a long journey, and so I have been afraid and I keep on doing it

and I'm One thing you said earlier is every pivotal moment led to the next, and in a way, even though this is transformation, unfiltered starts with, okay, the workplace, you're a whole person. And your curiosity potentially about well, what could be possible if I'm still helping people? I can go into hr, I can do this thing. You then had the, what could be possible when you were facing. Your body, you know, telling you, I have MS now. you know, what could be possible? Not what's not possible. And it sounds like you're taking that curiosity forward in your personal life, and I'm sure it bleeds over into your work life because one thing you look for is gimme that curious person.

Let me tell my team about my book. Let me share podcast interviews that I have been, participated in with my team. And I've had, members of my team say, oh my gosh, I've never seen you be that raw, that vulnerable, and it's only deepened our working relationship. And it's what I talk about, as I am speaking with younger professionals or aspiring professionals.

And, so it absolutely is another one of those threads that there isn't a distinction between Nicole, at home in my personal life and how I aim to show up and to provide help that's hopefully helpful in my professional life.

Alexa Beavers: I love said, you, know, as you'd made a choice to go ahead and just tell everybody what was that like?

pseudonym,

Alexa Beavers: Hmm. Which remind me what your pseudonym was

Nicole Dubois: Danielle m Brian, so yeah, so I literally was interviewing as Danielle and then one, that moment happened, light bulb went off, snapped my fingers, and I'm like, Hey, it's Nicole. I'm gonna be me. And yeah, it was, initially it was tough and now it's wow. It actually feels freeing. It feels great to be able to just, you know, one of the things I realized was, number one, my story isn't about being a serial killer, which, if that's someone's story, cool. Just isn't mine. And so it isn't, what I am talking about in my book isn't something that I should feel embarrassed about.

Alexa Beavers: it's given you a lot of ease to be able to be in your own skin and not have to check which name am I using at

Nicole Dubois: That's right. And especially because I know my intention, it isn't just to just share, just for the purpose of sharing it is to share. Because literally I hear the feedback that, wow I am inspired by your story. You're you sharing your own truth. And it causes me to want to share my own truth.

So

when I hear that, then it,

Alexa Beavers: Yeah. And maybe even an inspiration because it

Nicole Dubois: That's right. That's right.

As you look back at your career up until now and think about, Hey, these are the lessons I learned, what advice would you give to somebody maybe 15 or 20 years your junior.

Nicole Dubois: Yeah, I think about my genzer. So I have a bonus son who is a student at Yukon. He'll be graduating this year. So I literally have this conversation all the time, or my almost 15-year-old who's in high school. And he's thinking about finding his way or some of the students that I encounter or what have you.

And literally, it's similar to what I was saying earlier. This is life. You're not gonna break it. Try things, be curious, travel a bunch, expand your perspective. I remember being in my twenties and thinking I have to have a perfectly mapped out plan. And in fact, I did. I was like, I need to.

And so the same thing. I know it's easier said than done when you're in the moment, but the same thing is true when I think about, folks that are getting started or who have just gotten started. Just try things, take a leap of faith and, take some risks. It's

Alexa Beavers: I love it.

Yeah, I love that you said, and it's okay because sometimes we need a little extra, I think it's really cool that you had a mapped plan, and that's great. However, the thing you said earlier is every pivotal moment opens the door to the next.

Um, Because I know people will be curious

Nicole Dubois: I am on LinkedIn, Nicole Dubbo, and I am in terms of the book. It's available on amazon.com. It's available on barnes and noble.com as well as archway publishers.

So

yeah.

Because as Nicole says, it's life and you cannot break it. So go forward in your career and in life and be you. If you like this episode, please follow us on e podcast platform where Transformation Unfiltered, and we invite you to share and subscribe.