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Ep. 37 How to take real good care of yourself during crazy times [ step by step ]
Episode 3711th April 2022 • The Borealis Experience • Aurora Eggert
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Today with me Frank Anthony

WRITER & PASSIONATE HUMAN BEING, Podcaster and social influencer

check out Franks work here;

https://www.letmebefrankanthony.com/

Learn how you can take better care of yourself without too much effort.

ANthony will share rituals with you that deeply inspired me and I know they will greatly support you on your path as well.

Also check out the book Atomic Habits written by James Clear

enjoy !!!

with love A.


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really get to know yourself and find out what steps you can take to untangle

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Free yourself from the ongoing destructive inner chatter.

Discover who you are without all this clutter in your mind.



Lets dive in and find out more about this juicy topic that will most likely affect you in one way or another. 



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Transcripts

Unknown:

Hello Hello and welcome to the Borealis experience. I'm

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your host Aurora, life coach and companion on this beautiful

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journey called life. And today with me, Frank De Lucio, a dear

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friend, dear, very dear inspiration for myself on my

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darkest days, but also on my happy days. He is an aspiring

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author, a writer and editor. He hasn't published a book yet, but

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he, I can feel it is about to create something beautiful for

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us out there. He's a podcaster. He's a social

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influencer. And just a very powerful light that I'm very

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excited to connect personally with today, we want to talk

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about

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how to keep sane and crazy times how to keep grounded how to not

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get suffocated by anxiety, how to not drown and despair.

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We're both very similar and that we we love to support other

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people, we love to see other people blossom and reach their

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goals and dreams. At the same time, we have to be very careful

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to not burn ourselves out in order to pursue this beautiful

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career that we both chose. So I thought frank with his beautiful

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podcast, let me be frank,

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I love this title

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is going to be a beautiful powerhouse, to listen to.

Unknown:

Welcome to the show. Frank, thank you so much for making the

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time to be here with us.

Unknown:

Thank you so much Aurora, I just want to acknowledge to that you

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are a huge inspiration as well. And there was something you

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posted recently, when that I really loved and I respect a

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lot. And it had to do with just feeling off one day. And I know

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with people in our field of work, sometimes it seems like

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almost inhuman in the sense that like, we have to be happy all

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the time. And it's just not like that. And it's really brave. I

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think that and both of us have done this where you can show

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that other side of it too. So that it's like, hey, like this

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is actually very relatable. And you know, they are human beings

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just like us too.

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Yes, yeah. And I remember your post and your comment, I mean,

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and it gave me so much strength and made me feel so seen as a

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human being so again, thank you so much for for having so much

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empathy and understanding. That's really your strength.

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I want to ask you, first thing now

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being such a support such a rock for other people, how do you

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manage to make time for yourself and, and to know that you're

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deeply worthy of self care?

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Because I feel sometimes people who have so such a big heart,

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forget about themselves and even think, oh, now I'm gonna be

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selfish if I sleep in or if I say no to somebody? How do you

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navigate these times of? Yeah, people, a lot of people need

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you. But also you have to have your own back and stand your

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ground at times. How do you manage that?

Unknown:

That's a great question. And a lot of those things you said to

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it's, it's funny, because I've had a couple people in the

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comments. Oh, kinda hit me for a second because they will say,

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Hey, make sure you're making time for yourself too. And it'll

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be those little reminders where I go, Oh, man, am I like I am

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putting a lot out I'm trying to be there for everyone. And it's

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a little reminder to us that yeah, we have to give ourselves

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that care and that time and that love because not only will we

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just start feeling burnt out but just I don't know I think will

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serve feeling alone and depressed or anxiety filled.

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There's so many different things. Someone can feel I

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think, when it comes to dealing with burnout personally, I

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almost feel like you have to or I feel like the best people to

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listen to are the people who have experienced it a lot. And

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because I feel like when you experience it yourself and work

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on overcoming it, you really discover tools that

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work and more importantly, tools that work for you yourself.

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Because sometimes, we need different techniques or

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different strategies. Like for example, I'm more of a morning

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person, but some of my things might not work for someone who

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works. Third shift to is up all night. Like there's, you know,

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there's different strategies to things. So maybe everything I

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say today won't necessarily help like us specifically. But

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hopefully, you know, people can get certain things out of it, as

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well. Some things that I've discovered myself, I mean, to

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start off basic to do list are just everything. I think as we

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get older, our memory sucks.

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For the most part, I can

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say lightly, no, I mean, some people, you know, still have

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great memories. But I just think as you get older sometimes and

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life feels really busy that a to do list is whether it's in your

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phone or writing down, I personally like to write

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everything down, and sometimes even hang it up so that you can

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look at it, I have a big calendar, where I'm like, oh,

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cool, like I can always see when something's right there. It's

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just a little reminder, it's not out of view. So that's like

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something basic that I usually we'll start off, start the day

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off, right. And kind of just like sit because I feel like

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when, when we don't have a plan in motion, and we don't start

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the day off, right, we can just feel kind of lost. That's how I

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have felt, personally, where I'm like, where's my direction, and

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people usually don't like to feel like they have no direction

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or no purpose in their day or in their life. I've noticed or at

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least people who experience anxiety and depression, that's

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tends to be a little bit of a theme, including what I've seen

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in myself.

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I would say one best way. So when it comes to the burnouts,

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specifically, one of the best things that I can do for myself

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is it's, it can still be a challenge to do at times,

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because if you're like me out there, you might be that type of

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person that thinks I want to get all my work done. And it doesn't

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matter how long it takes, I just need to get it done. I think one

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of the best things we can do is give yourself a specific time.

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For me, I try to do usually like four or 5pm, usually 5pm, the

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latest like you give yourself that time. And even if you

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didn't finish stuff, you have to end your workday at that time.

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Oh, it's not easy, because you might start feeling overwhelmed,

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it might not help like when you go to bed thinking, Oh, I still

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have all these things to do. The way that I look at it is I'm

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like that's the time for you to technically turn off your brain

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is what I call it, which it's like, I guess your work brain.

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Yeah. So I will literally usually my work is from a

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computer most of the time. So I will five o'clock will hit, I

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will stand up

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almost like a robot where you just kind of stand up and you

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just start walking. And I just walk away from it. And it was

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very strange to do at first because I'm like, it's just a

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weird feeling. It's like it feels like you're walking away

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from just you know, unfinished work or whatever. But at the

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same time, it's like the works gonna be there. The next day,

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even when I was working more of a nine, a nine to five job, the

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work was still there the next day, we obviously have deadlines

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for things that we want to do. But that's why it's important to

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create a plan. I always I was told by an old boss that it

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should be 90% planning 10% execution. So if you plan

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everything out really well, then you don't have to put so much

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attention into the execution itself, it's going to fall

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through and most likely you will get your work done.

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That just

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sorry, that makes so much sense.

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I can also see that if I was to get up at four and let's say two

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days in a row, I would feel like ah shit like I could have I

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couldn't have been more productive the next day, the

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third day, I will achieve more in the same time because I don't

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want that feeling of of leaving things behind. But I still want

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4pm to be my cutoff time. So it kind of forces you maybe to be

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more productive because you know afterwards you have downtime

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where you can relax.

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Yes, because that's the thing I think for me at least it helps

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with focus a lot because then I could tell myself so maybe

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during the work day which obviously you know if you need

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to take like a 10 or 15 minute break here and there. I mean we

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got to eat too. And stuff I get it like you can take a break

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here and there of course but it's nice to think about okay, I

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have like this few hours I have this block of time where I can

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do it.

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anything, like if I want to do laundry, or if I want to go

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outside and catch butterflies with a butterfly net, I can go

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do that during that time, because I made a specific plan

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for that. So that when you are during your work time, at least,

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you know, like, it's something for me at least it's something

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to look forward to as well. That's why I like to do the

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work. And then the fun stuff. Because sometimes when you are

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like, well, I'll do the fun stuff first, and then I'll work

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it's, you know, you will, most likely won't. I haven't in my

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past. I'm like, Well, I'm doing the fun stuff. Let's keep doing

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the fun stuff. It's that dopamine hits Nice.

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Yeah, so besides, besides that, I think what's important with

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burnout as well, and I've been learning about this more

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recently is developing a healthy sleep schedule. And like having

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better sleep hygiene. So I feel like it's, you know, so many of

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us will stay up so late, whether it's just us, either, we'll use

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that time as our relaxed time, and then we're affecting our

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sleep, which then carries into the next day, and we might not

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start the day off, right, it's just a bad pattern. It's a it's

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a chain of events. And I feel like with the healthy sleep

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schedule, you can still do little things, but then also get

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the appropriate amount of sleep. And what mine is, specifically

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what I've been doing is usually how I kind of, I guess for me,

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or I guess for a lot of people can happen where we kind of have

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those racing thoughts before we go to bed. So one thing that

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helps me a lot is I know I need to calm down, I need to calm

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down those thoughts. So usually, I will do some sort of night

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meditation that lasts like 10 minutes. At most that will, what

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I love about meditation is, especially with someone who's

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also speaking as well, it lets you it kind of transforms you

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into like this other world, so that you can leave those other

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thoughts to the side. And if they're really, really important

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thoughts, then write them down, and then reset, because then you

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don't forget the thoughts, at least they're on a paper, you

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can put them near your bed, and then yeah, and then you have

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permission to let them go. Now, we can only remember so much at

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once or only have so much on our plates. So I will do that little

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meditation that kind of calms the heart rate down and my

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thoughts. And then I love to read. And I also have been

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journal writing more. So that's when I'll pull out one of those

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at least, and do that before bed and really try. And you don't

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have to do this. But I think it helps is really trying not to be

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scrolling on the phone or some sort of screen or technology. I

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just feel like with that blue light that just causes us to

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stay up like our minds are like, Oh, it's a time when it's not or

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it's like it's time to be awake and have fun when it's like now

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it's time to go to sleep. So that's that's kind of another

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thing, I pretty much just do these little activities that end

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up just knocking me right out. I almost never have sleep problems

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now, which is great.

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So, so healing, would you say there and more and more people

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start realizing this that if your doctor doesn't ask you for

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your sleep patterns. If he's only concerned about your food

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intake or alcohol intake, but doesn't ask any questions

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regarding your sleep, then he is most of the time missing the

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point because we need sleep to recharge our batteries and detox

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our mind. And very important thing that you mentioned there

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is that you write stuff down because your monkey mind will

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come up with ideas to keep thinking and to keep being

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engaged and all but I don't want to forget all but I want to

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problem solve this for the next eight hours.

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To to write it down and to tell your monkey mind, hey, you can

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relax now I have it written down and tomorrow morning, I'll take

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care of it. And to kind of

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turn the volume down of that little guy up there and turn up

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the volume of

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guided meditation or reading an inspiring book is those are very

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powerful tools that I use myself. And we'd like people to

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at least try

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and

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so that was the the evening routine. Do you have a routine

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in the morning? When you get up and start your day I noticed

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that

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this is where my anxiety peaks right after waking up where I'm

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like, Oh my God, there's so much to do so much to call

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unleash.

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How is it for you? Do you have a couple of tips and tricks for

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the morning?

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So the kind of tie in the night and the morning a little bit

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with what you asked said is, I actually consider it an

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advantage. When you do have those thoughts racing that you

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can write it down, because then it gives you your to do list in

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a sense for the next morning. It's like, oh, cool, you're

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already prepared to start off, right? Because that was your

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relaxed time that you got. And you're using just a couple

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minutes just to get all that down to where now you don't have

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to use your time in the morning to be scrambling around and be

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like, Oh, my God, what do I have to do? The list is right there.

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So it's kind of I see that, that at least in a way, that's me, I

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guess trying to turn a negative into a positive, where you might

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think racing thoughts is a weakness, where it's like, no,

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you can actually use that to your advantage. With the with

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the morning schedule, my morning schedule has altered here and

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there. And that's the other thing too, is sometimes the same

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schedule can get a little monotonous. So you might want to

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change it up here and there. I think that's perfectly fine,

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too. As long as you're getting your stuff done. Some of the

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things that have stayed the same for me is I will wake up

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usually, what's pretty bad as I don't even need an alarm clock

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anymore. At this point, my circadian rhythm is just like

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having me up at six in the morning. Or like 630 The latest

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it's crazy how that happens. I use I'm like, That's unheard of

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people think I'm not but but um, I usually like 6am is a perfect

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time. If I wake up a little earlier a little later. I try

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not you know, if it's a little bit later, specifically, I you

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know, you can't stress about that it life happens, you're not

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going to always you might not always wake up at the exact same

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minute or feel good every morning waking up. But they're

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still like the best thing is yeah, definitely don't stress

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about that, because it just will lead you in a hole. Yeah, it

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could definitely increase the anxiety to where things seem

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more complicated and out of reach than they really are, when

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it's always in the same spot. Your goals, I guess what I mean,

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so. So I always one of the best things I added to my morning

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schedule is stretching. And I've only had to do it for like two

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to three minutes. At least, if I can fit, I usually do like a two

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to five minutes. But if you can at least get because there's a

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lot of people are like, I don't have time to do that. Two

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minutes, take two minutes to just stretch out your arms, legs

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and back and chest area. I used to have horrible, I was starting

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to develop a really horrible upper back pain and like kind of

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in my neck, but the shoulder blades specifically. And that

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was a couple years ago ever since I did at least two minutes

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stretching every morning have not had back pain since. And

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it's crazy. Like I just I was starting to accept the fate of

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I'm getting older. So I have to feel like crap. And I have to be

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miserable. Because aging and it's like it doesn't need to be

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that way. There are people out there who are 8596 years old,

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that are still running marathons and feeling great. And it's

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because they came up with these routines that are healthy for

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them and that work for them. So it's to me, it's inspiring. And

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it reminds me like okay, yeah, you don't, you don't you can,

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you don't have to be miserable in this life, we get the one

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life and let's, you know, let's work with as much as we can.

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So yeah, the stretching really helps. I actually try to, I'm a

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big reader. And I also kind of with my morning and my night. It

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just really is it's kind of like a book analogy. I like to look

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at it as two bookends. So certain things I do at night I

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try to also do in the morning. So for example, I will try to

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read at least a chapter morning and night because it's like a

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good way to start the day like it gets the mind moving a little

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bit just doing some light reading and then at the end you

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kind of end your way it's an activity I love so I feel like

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something you really enjoy. Have it bookmark on both ends of the

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day, have the work in between and then you have something to

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start your day on a good way and then something to look forward

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to later.

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Let's see. Yeah, so like I said, I will usually my minimum is a

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chapter I will you know, eat breakfast of course. Well I say

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of course some people skip breakfast do not skip breakfast.

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I just remember that there's people that won't eat for like

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12 hours. I just in my opinion, don't skip breakfast. You

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definitely want to I feel like when you do that it just you

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don't know you got to nurture your brain not even so much the

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food but the nutrients in the food. I feel like that's what we

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really need to nurture that brain because if we don't have

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that, I know there's been days where I

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either like, did it eat a good breakfast like it was either too

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small or there was no nutrients in it. And I just was off most

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of the day and trying to get back trying to get the train

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back on the train track. So I feel like that's really

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important. I, I'm guilty of this that game wordly has entered my

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morning routine. But it's actually and for people who

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don't know what wordly is, it's, it's owned by New York Times

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now, you guess you have six chances to guess a five letter

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word. And at first, I viewed this as Oh, no, this is like

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some new game addiction that I don't need on my phone, or I

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don't need to like waste time over the good news, a couple of

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things. One, it's a new puzzle only once a day. So once you

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solve it, you have to wait a whole other day to solve a new

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one. And two, I realized it actually was developing my

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because in a way, it's like a word puzzle. It's kind of

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similar to like a sudoku type of thing. So it gets your brain

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working in the morning. And I noticed as I've added that, I'm

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like, wow, I can even get even more focused. And my problem

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solving actually increased a little bit sounds like that's

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really cool. So like, it doesn't have to be worldly, but

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something that can get your brain thinking like a little bit

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of critical thinking a little bit of problem solving before

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you even do your work and might help with your actual work a

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little bit, because you already started training your brain.

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Another thing I will do at times in the morning, if I I mean,

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sometimes I'll have like a half hour to do it. Sometimes I might

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only have 10 minutes, but it's like some sort of quick little

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workout to kind of get like the physical part of me moving and

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waking up. So whether it's like some push ups and sit ups or I

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have, I own some weights, so might lift a little bit of

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weights might jog in place a little bit, I kind of tie that

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in with the stretching. So that's like all my physical

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stuff to wake me up. And then I kind of will do like the problem

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solving. And I guess a big thing that I try not to do like I used

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to is, when we wake up, we go right to the cell phone and

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write to the social media. And I try to save that for after I'm

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right. Like I have to get ready for the day. First, I have to do

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all those other things. And then I earned the right to check

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social media or check something that might be a little more mind

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numbing. Yeah, yeah, that makes total sense. And my main

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takeaway from from what you just shared with us is basically that

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you get up in the morning for yourself.

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Yes, stuff to wake your body up, wake your mind up in a playful

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way in a way that feels good. And then you get to social

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media, and how can I serve the world. And it doesn't really

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matter if you are in a relationship or a single, if you

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are a parent, or CEO of some company, get up in the morning,

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even if it's just 10 minutes earlier than usual. And just

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focus on yourself. I find that super inspiring. And I do that

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myself. And sometimes I even at the end of the day, I mute my

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day. And I just watch myself from Burt's perspective and see,

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what did I do with my body this morning? What did I do over

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lunch? What did I do over the afternoon? Was I sitting the

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whole day and kind of hunched over and now in the evening, I

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wonder that my muscles are sore? Or how much did I use my muscles

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and my

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my body to get things done and then realize, okay, you need to

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take care of your mind and of your body. Because that's going

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to influence how you feel. And I love the little stretch the time

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you take in the morning.

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That is so critical and that it's not half an hour or 20

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minutes. That would be way too much for for some people will

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start this routine, but just two to five minutes can make such a

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difference already. That's, that's really beautiful. Frank,

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I would like to ask you now,

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these routines that you introduced into your life,

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how would you say?

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And now if you were in a relationship, how would these

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routines that you do for yourself influence your partner?

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Or if you are single, how did it better your connection to

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yourself? Maybe Maybe you can

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talk

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about both sides, like if you were in a relationship or if you

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are, and if you are single with yourself.

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How would it? How would you put that into words?

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So, yeah, that's a good question. I maybe this is why

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I'm single.

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Because the relationship I mean, I haven't been in a relationship

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in a while. So it's easier to know how it affects me. When I'm

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single, and I guess which I can still answer the other question

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too. But it definitely in a single sense, it helped me.

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It definitely helped me feel less lost. And it definitely

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like you had said to a, it gives priority to yourself, so that

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I'm not because when you go,

Unknown:

I feel like when you just the first thing you do if you just

Unknown:

go right on social media, and either you're scrolling or maybe

Unknown:

you're even doing some posting to I feel like you're putting

Unknown:

your energy right into everyone else or everyone else's

Unknown:

opinions. And yeah, you don't give yourself the appropriate

Unknown:

time. I think a lot of us will complain at times that we don't

Unknown:

have enough alone time or enough quiet time or anything. And it's

Unknown:

like honestly, yeah, right. When you wake up, you can. Sometimes

Unknown:

it's figuring out when to wake up. I know people who have

Unknown:

children, it's like you got to you got to find the time when

Unknown:

everyone's sleeping, maybe to do that. But it's possible. It's

Unknown:

not the easiest thing to develop this type of routine or

Unknown:

schedule, but I think it's it can be possible for everyone

Unknown:

just it's going to obviously be different. For everyone with

Unknown:

Yeah, so with being single, it definitely reminded me that

Unknown:

whether we are with someone, or we have a whole family, or we're

Unknown:

single, you have to be number one priority, because if you

Unknown:

don't, you can't take care of anyone else, if you're just

Unknown:

completely lost and a mess. And man, I've been that many times

Unknown:

through my life. So I'm like, I need to Yeah, I need to be okay,

Unknown:

I want to help people in this world. So I have to help myself.

Unknown:

And I have to be okay. Otherwise, I'm not going to

Unknown:

achieve one of my biggest goals, which is that and in the

Unknown:

relationship sense, it's interesting, because there's

Unknown:

someone that I think about one person that I talked to where he

Unknown:

is on a completely opposite schedule as me because he works

Unknown:

third shift. So obviously, the sleep schedules are very

Unknown:

different. And it can be challenging coming up with well,

Unknown:

when do we talk type of thing, because I'm a morning person

Unknown:

waking up at 6am, that person is getting out of work and going to

Unknown:

bed at that time as I'm waking up. So it's literally the sun

Unknown:

and the moon, trying to date.

Unknown:

And we know the sun and the moon usually don't see each other,

Unknown:

but they're passing. So it can, it can definitely be

Unknown:

challenging. And I've done, I've done that thing. And I saw as he

Unknown:

where you will,

Unknown:

I guess you'll kind of sacrifice some of that sleep or some of

Unknown:

that time to try to make it work, when there's definitely

Unknown:

different ways to do it. And that's definitely seeing when's

Unknown:

the same times that you guys are awake. Because yeah, you don't

Unknown:

like for my case, I don't want to have to stay up until one or

Unknown:

two in the morning. Because that person is wide awake, and they

Unknown:

shouldn't have to stay up when they need sleep at like eight

Unknown:

nine in the morning. Just because I'm awake. So it's

Unknown:

definitely it's definitely a compromise that it's not easy.

Unknown:

But it's definitely possible to still find that congruent time

Unknown:

with each other. But then also giving yourself permission to

Unknown:

say, hey, it's so and so time, I need to go to bed. But I'm happy

Unknown:

you know, but let's, let's talk during this time, like let's

Unknown:

give ourselves a specific a lot of time to communicate to see

Unknown:

each other. You know, everyone gets everyone should have some

Unknown:

sort of days off. That's a good time to try to connect that way

Unknown:

as well. But yeah, with relationships that can

Unknown:

definitely be it can be challenging, and it can be easy

Unknown:

to want to completely change that person into your schedule,

Unknown:

which I've you know, and I've had the I've been guilty of

Unknown:

thoughts of that where I'm like, Oh, I just wish this person woke

Unknown:

up the same time I did, and had the same exact schedule, but

Unknown:

that's not reality. Like everyone has different

Unknown:

schedules. It's all about making it work. If you really care

Unknown:

enough about the person, you're going to make it work don't try

Unknown:

to change your partner into something that into you, you

Unknown:

know, like let them be them in that sense because it's

Unknown:

definitely I just think you guys will be happier that way trying

Unknown:

to make it work and you know, without all the resentment and

Unknown:

stuff

Unknown:

Hmm,

Unknown:

that makes total sense. And adding to that,

Unknown:

I'm a little bit the opposite. I'm guilty of throwing

Unknown:

everything overboard, when I meet somebody that is so

Unknown:

interesting, because not now I feel awesome. Now I'm inspired.

Unknown:

Now I'm full of energy, I don't need my stupid self care

Unknown:

anymore. And they will attend.

Unknown:

And then, after a couple months, you realize, Hmm, maybe I should

Unknown:

have my little routines back because the other person

Unknown:

shouldn't feel responsible of my anxiety and feeling.

Unknown:

Not grounded enough. And it can give you a deep sense, like, no

Unknown:

matter if you're single, or in a relationship, it can give you a

Unknown:

deep sense of self. That is hugely attractive for everybody

Unknown:

around you.

Unknown:

I noticed people who are very magnetic people who have that

Unknown:

glow in their eyes, and I count you into

Unknown:

they have a very,

Unknown:

I don't want to say rigid but consistent self care practice.

Unknown:

And, and it shows, it shows that a person is taking care of

Unknown:

themselves. And

Unknown:

it's something that we should all learn to cling to.

Unknown:

With, with everything we have.

Unknown:

I'd like to ask you now, when it comes to everything we're going

Unknown:

through right now, we had COVID First, and now we have

Unknown:

world war three. I don't know if we can call it world war three,

Unknown:

but it definitely feels like it.

Unknown:

For people. I don't know, I didn't ask you like, do you

Unknown:

watch the news a lot? Do you try to keep up?

Unknown:

For people who want to stay informed, but also want to

Unknown:

keep functioning in society, but have a hard time right now to be

Unknown:

okay, and happy with what they have because of so much

Unknown:

suffering?

Unknown:

Is there any advice that you may be received in recent

Unknown:

conversations? Or that you could advise?

Unknown:

Our listeners?

Unknown:

Definitely COVID. So you have before even getting into

Unknown:

Ukraine, because that is a whole other like, wow.

Unknown:

Like, well, these couple of years man event, someone's

Unknown:

really testing us humans. But

Unknown:

I, yeah, COVID was at the beginning. It was like, okay,

Unknown:

I'm good. And my self care was good. And then.

Unknown:

And I think that's because we thought it was going to end

Unknown:

sooner than it did. And then as it set in, where it's like, wow,

Unknown:

this is still going is when it started again, depressing. And

Unknown:

the anxiety started rising. And yeah, my answer, part of my

Unknown:

answer was going to be having to do with the news. And I just

Unknown:

remember when I was younger, the news just didn't seem everywhere

Unknown:

like it is today. Like, even on TV, it just didn't seem so

Unknown:

frequent. There's so many different channels to get the

Unknown:

news. And it's all like similar yet different news at that. The

Unknown:

similarity with the news is that it's all scaring us half the

Unknown:

time. It might be a different message behind it. But it's like

Unknown:

to kind of scare us a little bit. And it's like all the

Unknown:

negative Yeah, all the negative, there's not really much positive

Unknown:

on the news. And then what makes it worse is now I check out like

Unknown:

Tic, I'll go tick tock was usually a source for me to get

Unknown:

like the laughs and stuff and positive messages. And now all

Unknown:

you see is COVID or Ukraine news. And so it's like the news

Unknown:

is everywhere, like on every platform, every social media

Unknown:

platform, it's on TV, they say stuff on the radio, it just

Unknown:

seems like we can't escape it. So I guess one of my biggest

Unknown:

pieces of advice is that well, the good news is that we have a

Unknown:

beautiful nature. Like how do I word it? Nature is beautiful in

Unknown:

a sense in that we all have some sort of outdoors area. And I

Unknown:

would say that when it comes to the news

Unknown:

because we want to be informed I would say just put a limit, like

Unknown:

you don't need to watch four or five different news stations.

Unknown:

All in the same thing. Like I would say check out the news.

Unknown:

One time a day. At least that's what I do.

Unknown:

Oh, now because I was doing the morning, the afternoon and the

Unknown:

evening. And it's like, know,

Unknown:

and trust. And honestly, there's always going to, I think there's

Unknown:

always going to be someone out there that's doing that anyway,

Unknown:

that's going to share it all anyway, online. So it's like,

Unknown:

you'll get it, you'll kind of like hear about it anyway, I

Unknown:

don't think I used to get nervous about like, Oh, I'm not

Unknown:

going to know what's going on in the world. But it's everywhere,

Unknown:

like you can't like, if you really want to find a piece of

Unknown:

news, it's going to be somewhere like, you're going to catch it.

Unknown:

So I there's no FOMO in that. I feel like missing out there.

Unknown:

Because we're gonna always know, at the same time, we have the

Unknown:

power to tune in or not. When it comes to frequency, and just

Unknown:

when in general. So yeah, I told myself that I had to pick either

Unknown:

morning or evening, which evening is supposed to relax me.

Unknown:

So I'm like, I'm gonna choose morning to just like, do a

Unknown:

couple minutes. My roommate watches the news all the time.

Unknown:

So if anything, sometimes I walk out and he just tells me

Unknown:

something that's going on. I'm like, oh, cool, I don't have to

Unknown:

watch the news. Now.

Unknown:

It was just a quick little conversation I can forget about.

Unknown:

But yet stay informed with it. Some kind of luck out there. But

Unknown:

yeah, I would say limit that. It going outside, I used to take

Unknown:

for granted a lot. And when were kids, I would forget how much

Unknown:

time we actually like how much freedom we had for that we just

Unknown:

didn't have as many responsibilities. You know, and

Unknown:

for some of us, too, there wasn't as much technology. But

Unknown:

the main thing is we didn't have as much responsibilities, which

Unknown:

gave us more time for free time, which included going outside and

Unknown:

we're just you know, a lot of us are so used to like being stuck

Unknown:

in a building with work or having or being on a computer

Unknown:

all day with work. And I, I'm fortunate enough for my work, I

Unknown:

can kind of take with me on a computer. So I will go outside

Unknown:

or I'll go to a different Park, I'll go to a different place if

Unknown:

I really want to get it that way. And then sometimes I leave

Unknown:

the computer in the office, I'm like Screw your computer, I'm

Unknown:

going out, I'm going through, I'm gonna take a journey through

Unknown:

the woods, and just breathe for a second. And that's why I love

Unknown:

trees, by the way. And I live on the east coast in the United

Unknown:

States. So trees are lovely. Over here, and I just go through

Unknown:

the woods. And I just breathe it in. And, and even try you know,

Unknown:

and if you're doing that really try not to be on your phone or

Unknown:

an electronic as well. And really just like, and that

Unknown:

includes music too. And just like really listen to the world.

Unknown:

And listen to the stillness and the quiet. And I think that, for

Unknown:

me, it's a good reset, so that when I'm feeling a bunch of

Unknown:

anxiety, it's almost like a reset button. Or I'm like, okay,

Unknown:

like the world feels loud. It feels crazy. Right now, this is

Unknown:

just a quick reset. Because you know, at the end of the day, I

Unknown:

think good things and bad things are always going to happen in

Unknown:

the world. So that's why we can't

Unknown:

we just can't put ourselves through hell of always being

Unknown:

focused on every little negative thing. Because all those

Unknown:

thoughts aren't going to change what's actually happening

Unknown:

Ukraine and Russia, it's still happening, whether we're overly

Unknown:

analyzing it or not. So, so I would say that, obviously we

Unknown:

have to accept the reality of what's going on in the world.

Unknown:

But we also have to give ourselves permission to breathe,

Unknown:

as well and, and just accept that. We we have more control

Unknown:

than we think we do when it comes to our inner peace.

Unknown:

Wow.

Unknown:

Everybody let this sink in. We have more control over our inner

Unknown:

peace, then we think

Unknown:

Frank illusio

Unknown:

this is your

Unknown:

it's yours and I'll be using it.

Unknown:

Why Frank, hugely resonates with my heart.

Unknown:

And I love how you emphasize that we are part of nature we

Unknown:

need to allow ourselves to get back to nature, to be present

Unknown:

with nature. And what I want to add to that if you don't have

Unknown:

trees or parks, where you live, random acts of kindness, with

Unknown:

strangers eye contact, holding a door helping an elderly person

Unknown:

over the street. Those those little deep connections that we

Unknown:

can create with people we know or don't know, also deeply

Unknown:

nurture our heart

Unknown:

Because in that moment, we are fully present with something

Unknown:

outside of ourselves. And that usually helps us to bring all

Unknown:

the anxiety and negativity down.

Unknown:

I love everything you said there. And I love most that it

Unknown:

is so easy to apply. It is not you don't need money for it. You

Unknown:

don't need to, you know, be overly spiritual. If you're not

Unknown:

there yet, you can just do baby steps and you will see the

Unknown:

results. You will reap the fruit from from little changes,

Unknown:

like you offered here with us today. Endlessly precious,

Unknown:

endlessly precious.

Unknown:

To add in, yes, yes. Sorry, just to add in quick because I made

Unknown:

me remember with COVID, not that there's really positives that

Unknown:

come out of COVID. But a positive for me that came out of

Unknown:

the negative experience was realizing how, just how

Unknown:

antisocial we've become as a society. Like I just really

Unknown:

didn't click with me before that and like that really set it in.

Unknown:

And I think just with having to wear a mask, for example, like

Unknown:

that alone. I'm like, wow, that actually made communication a

Unknown:

little bit more difficult, because we're covering that

Unknown:

because we have to, but I was like, but even before the masks,

Unknown:

we weren't communicating anyway, half the time like it didn't

Unknown:

even matter if we were wearing a mask or not. We weren't, we

Unknown:

weren't doing those random acts of kindness a lot, or we weren't

Unknown:

really appreciating human beings maybe as much as we really

Unknown:

could. I just I don't know, I think. And I think that goes

Unknown:

back to the whole, like inner chaos that happens with us,

Unknown:

sometimes where it's like, we're so lost in our own stuff, that

Unknown:

we don't even have the power or freedom to help others or even

Unknown:

think about others in a compassionate way. But I am

Unknown:

seeing more and more of that with either work that you do or

Unknown:

work that you see other people do. And it's like, yeah, there's

Unknown:

hope in this world.

Unknown:

Yeah, it is so beautiful that COVID brought a lot of goodness,

Unknown:

a lot of

Unknown:

a lot of reflection and realization that was so

Unknown:

necessary. And that would have been, like not possible without

Unknown:

without that traumatic experience.

Unknown:

I'd love to give you the opportunity now to first share a

Unknown:

couple books with us that deeply changed the way you feel or

Unknown:

think for the better. And then how can people reach you and

Unknown:

start following you find you?

Unknown:

Questions. So with the books I've been,

Unknown:

I haven't been doing. So a lot of my reading lately has been

Unknown:

more fiction, for the most part. So that might not be like the

Unknown:

most helpful when it comes to if people are looking for self

Unknown:

help. But one book that I can recommend that I'm almost done

Unknown:

with that I really like and this ties into what we were talking

Unknown:

about earlier is atomic habits.

Unknown:

That book

Unknown:

What's his name? I don't have the book in front of me, Jean. I

Unknown:

want to say James clear, so bad, but I can't remember if that's

Unknown:

actually I feel like his first name is James. But atomic

Unknown:

habits, if you look that up, it will pop right up. Yeah. And

Unknown:

that.

Unknown:

That that's helped a little bit too. That makes me want to

Unknown:

revisit my habits I already have and like even make them

Unknown:

stronger. That's a really, I highly recommend that book.

Unknown:

Wherever you buy it, whether it's a bookstore, Amazon or

Unknown:

whoever you want to support it. Yeah, I definitely recommend

Unknown:

that. And then to find me, I'm always changing these I feel my

Unknown:

username always changes. I feel half the time. But I want to say

Unknown:

so my, I have like three Instagrams. And so my personal

Unknown:

one is let me be frank Anthony. I have a Bookstagram which is

Unknown:

Frank's fiction. And then the podcast one, which that name

Unknown:

changed. It used to be let me be frank pod but now it's the love

Unknown:

diaries pod because that's hopefully a new podcast that I'm

Unknown:

going to be starting in the future with one of my friends is

Unknown:

a co host which will pretty much just discuss like it'll be like

Unknown:

relief. It'll be reading different relationship stories

Unknown:

and kind of giving advice and intake on that. I've I have a

Unknown:

really big passion for relationships and like kind of

Unknown:

helping couples and all that I've always had a big passion

Unknown:

with that. But so those are the Instagrams and then tick tock is

Unknown:

let me be frank Anthony. And I can't remember Twitter.

Unknown:

We are at the moment. I think it's also let me be frank

Unknown:

Anthony. And then Facebook, I want to say is Frank's fiction.

Unknown:

But if the best way to do this is my website is www dot let me

Unknown:

be frank anthony.com. And all the socials should be connected

Unknown:

in there somehow. Very good. That easy then for us to to find

Unknown:

you. Well, thank you so much for this genuine, heartwarming

Unknown:

conversation. I enjoyed every minute. And yeah, we stay

Unknown:

connected. And we'll keep in contact, especially during those

Unknown:

difficult times. Thank you so much for being here and for

Unknown:

being the light out there and the hope and the inspiration for

Unknown:

so many people.

Unknown:

Thank you so much Aurora. I could I could talk with you for

Unknown:

hours.

Unknown:

We should do that again soon. All right. Yeah. Dear listeners.

Unknown:

I hope you enjoyed this episode. I hope we were able to bring you

Unknown:

a lot of value and inspiration, hope and motivation. You are

Unknown:

loved. And until next time, bye bye. Take care.

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