Today with me Frank Anthony
WRITER & PASSIONATE HUMAN BEING, Podcaster and social influencer
check out Franks work here;
https://www.letmebefrankanthony.com/
Learn how you can take better care of yourself without too much effort.
ANthony will share rituals with you that deeply inspired me and I know they will greatly support you on your path as well.
Also check out the book Atomic Habits written by James Clear
enjoy !!!
with love A.
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Free yourself from the ongoing destructive inner chatter.
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Lets dive in and find out more about this juicy topic that will most likely affect you in one way or another.
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@auroraeggertcoaching
Hello Hello and welcome to the Borealis experience. I'm
Unknown:your host Aurora, life coach and companion on this beautiful
Unknown:journey called life. And today with me, Frank De Lucio, a dear
Unknown:friend, dear, very dear inspiration for myself on my
Unknown:darkest days, but also on my happy days. He is an aspiring
Unknown:author, a writer and editor. He hasn't published a book yet, but
Unknown:he, I can feel it is about to create something beautiful for
Unknown:us out there. He's a podcaster. He's a social
Unknown:influencer. And just a very powerful light that I'm very
Unknown:excited to connect personally with today, we want to talk
Unknown:about
Unknown:how to keep sane and crazy times how to keep grounded how to not
Unknown:get suffocated by anxiety, how to not drown and despair.
Unknown:We're both very similar and that we we love to support other
Unknown:people, we love to see other people blossom and reach their
Unknown:goals and dreams. At the same time, we have to be very careful
Unknown:to not burn ourselves out in order to pursue this beautiful
Unknown:career that we both chose. So I thought frank with his beautiful
Unknown:podcast, let me be frank,
Unknown:I love this title
Unknown:is going to be a beautiful powerhouse, to listen to.
Unknown:Welcome to the show. Frank, thank you so much for making the
Unknown:time to be here with us.
Unknown:Thank you so much Aurora, I just want to acknowledge to that you
Unknown:are a huge inspiration as well. And there was something you
Unknown:posted recently, when that I really loved and I respect a
Unknown:lot. And it had to do with just feeling off one day. And I know
Unknown:with people in our field of work, sometimes it seems like
Unknown:almost inhuman in the sense that like, we have to be happy all
Unknown:the time. And it's just not like that. And it's really brave. I
Unknown:think that and both of us have done this where you can show
Unknown:that other side of it too. So that it's like, hey, like this
Unknown:is actually very relatable. And you know, they are human beings
Unknown:just like us too.
Unknown:Yes, yeah. And I remember your post and your comment, I mean,
Unknown:and it gave me so much strength and made me feel so seen as a
Unknown:human being so again, thank you so much for for having so much
Unknown:empathy and understanding. That's really your strength.
Unknown:I want to ask you, first thing now
Unknown:being such a support such a rock for other people, how do you
Unknown:manage to make time for yourself and, and to know that you're
Unknown:deeply worthy of self care?
Unknown:Because I feel sometimes people who have so such a big heart,
Unknown:forget about themselves and even think, oh, now I'm gonna be
Unknown:selfish if I sleep in or if I say no to somebody? How do you
Unknown:navigate these times of? Yeah, people, a lot of people need
Unknown:you. But also you have to have your own back and stand your
Unknown:ground at times. How do you manage that?
Unknown:That's a great question. And a lot of those things you said to
Unknown:it's, it's funny, because I've had a couple people in the
Unknown:comments. Oh, kinda hit me for a second because they will say,
Unknown:Hey, make sure you're making time for yourself too. And it'll
Unknown:be those little reminders where I go, Oh, man, am I like I am
Unknown:putting a lot out I'm trying to be there for everyone. And it's
Unknown:a little reminder to us that yeah, we have to give ourselves
Unknown:that care and that time and that love because not only will we
Unknown:just start feeling burnt out but just I don't know I think will
Unknown:serve feeling alone and depressed or anxiety filled.
Unknown:There's so many different things. Someone can feel I
Unknown:think, when it comes to dealing with burnout personally, I
Unknown:almost feel like you have to or I feel like the best people to
Unknown:listen to are the people who have experienced it a lot. And
Unknown:because I feel like when you experience it yourself and work
Unknown:on overcoming it, you really discover tools that
Unknown:work and more importantly, tools that work for you yourself.
Unknown:Because sometimes, we need different techniques or
Unknown:different strategies. Like for example, I'm more of a morning
Unknown:person, but some of my things might not work for someone who
Unknown:works. Third shift to is up all night. Like there's, you know,
Unknown:there's different strategies to things. So maybe everything I
Unknown:say today won't necessarily help like us specifically. But
Unknown:hopefully, you know, people can get certain things out of it, as
Unknown:well. Some things that I've discovered myself, I mean, to
Unknown:start off basic to do list are just everything. I think as we
Unknown:get older, our memory sucks.
Unknown:For the most part, I can
Unknown:say lightly, no, I mean, some people, you know, still have
Unknown:great memories. But I just think as you get older sometimes and
Unknown:life feels really busy that a to do list is whether it's in your
Unknown:phone or writing down, I personally like to write
Unknown:everything down, and sometimes even hang it up so that you can
Unknown:look at it, I have a big calendar, where I'm like, oh,
Unknown:cool, like I can always see when something's right there. It's
Unknown:just a little reminder, it's not out of view. So that's like
Unknown:something basic that I usually we'll start off, start the day
Unknown:off, right. And kind of just like sit because I feel like
Unknown:when, when we don't have a plan in motion, and we don't start
Unknown:the day off, right, we can just feel kind of lost. That's how I
Unknown:have felt, personally, where I'm like, where's my direction, and
Unknown:people usually don't like to feel like they have no direction
Unknown:or no purpose in their day or in their life. I've noticed or at
Unknown:least people who experience anxiety and depression, that's
Unknown:tends to be a little bit of a theme, including what I've seen
Unknown:in myself.
Unknown:I would say one best way. So when it comes to the burnouts,
Unknown:specifically, one of the best things that I can do for myself
Unknown:is it's, it can still be a challenge to do at times,
Unknown:because if you're like me out there, you might be that type of
Unknown:person that thinks I want to get all my work done. And it doesn't
Unknown:matter how long it takes, I just need to get it done. I think one
Unknown:of the best things we can do is give yourself a specific time.
Unknown:For me, I try to do usually like four or 5pm, usually 5pm, the
Unknown:latest like you give yourself that time. And even if you
Unknown:didn't finish stuff, you have to end your workday at that time.
Unknown:Oh, it's not easy, because you might start feeling overwhelmed,
Unknown:it might not help like when you go to bed thinking, Oh, I still
Unknown:have all these things to do. The way that I look at it is I'm
Unknown:like that's the time for you to technically turn off your brain
Unknown:is what I call it, which it's like, I guess your work brain.
Unknown:Yeah. So I will literally usually my work is from a
Unknown:computer most of the time. So I will five o'clock will hit, I
Unknown:will stand up
Unknown:almost like a robot where you just kind of stand up and you
Unknown:just start walking. And I just walk away from it. And it was
Unknown:very strange to do at first because I'm like, it's just a
Unknown:weird feeling. It's like it feels like you're walking away
Unknown:from just you know, unfinished work or whatever. But at the
Unknown:same time, it's like the works gonna be there. The next day,
Unknown:even when I was working more of a nine, a nine to five job, the
Unknown:work was still there the next day, we obviously have deadlines
Unknown:for things that we want to do. But that's why it's important to
Unknown:create a plan. I always I was told by an old boss that it
Unknown:should be 90% planning 10% execution. So if you plan
Unknown:everything out really well, then you don't have to put so much
Unknown:attention into the execution itself, it's going to fall
Unknown:through and most likely you will get your work done.
Unknown:That just
Unknown:sorry, that makes so much sense.
Unknown:I can also see that if I was to get up at four and let's say two
Unknown:days in a row, I would feel like ah shit like I could have I
Unknown:couldn't have been more productive the next day, the
Unknown:third day, I will achieve more in the same time because I don't
Unknown:want that feeling of of leaving things behind. But I still want
Unknown:4pm to be my cutoff time. So it kind of forces you maybe to be
Unknown:more productive because you know afterwards you have downtime
Unknown:where you can relax.
Unknown:Yes, because that's the thing I think for me at least it helps
Unknown:with focus a lot because then I could tell myself so maybe
Unknown:during the work day which obviously you know if you need
Unknown:to take like a 10 or 15 minute break here and there. I mean we
Unknown:got to eat too. And stuff I get it like you can take a break
Unknown:here and there of course but it's nice to think about okay, I
Unknown:have like this few hours I have this block of time where I can
Unknown:do it.
Unknown:anything, like if I want to do laundry, or if I want to go
Unknown:outside and catch butterflies with a butterfly net, I can go
Unknown:do that during that time, because I made a specific plan
Unknown:for that. So that when you are during your work time, at least,
Unknown:you know, like, it's something for me at least it's something
Unknown:to look forward to as well. That's why I like to do the
Unknown:work. And then the fun stuff. Because sometimes when you are
Unknown:like, well, I'll do the fun stuff first, and then I'll work
Unknown:it's, you know, you will, most likely won't. I haven't in my
Unknown:past. I'm like, Well, I'm doing the fun stuff. Let's keep doing
Unknown:the fun stuff. It's that dopamine hits Nice.
Unknown:Yeah, so besides, besides that, I think what's important with
Unknown:burnout as well, and I've been learning about this more
Unknown:recently is developing a healthy sleep schedule. And like having
Unknown:better sleep hygiene. So I feel like it's, you know, so many of
Unknown:us will stay up so late, whether it's just us, either, we'll use
Unknown:that time as our relaxed time, and then we're affecting our
Unknown:sleep, which then carries into the next day, and we might not
Unknown:start the day off, right, it's just a bad pattern. It's a it's
Unknown:a chain of events. And I feel like with the healthy sleep
Unknown:schedule, you can still do little things, but then also get
Unknown:the appropriate amount of sleep. And what mine is, specifically
Unknown:what I've been doing is usually how I kind of, I guess for me,
Unknown:or I guess for a lot of people can happen where we kind of have
Unknown:those racing thoughts before we go to bed. So one thing that
Unknown:helps me a lot is I know I need to calm down, I need to calm
Unknown:down those thoughts. So usually, I will do some sort of night
Unknown:meditation that lasts like 10 minutes. At most that will, what
Unknown:I love about meditation is, especially with someone who's
Unknown:also speaking as well, it lets you it kind of transforms you
Unknown:into like this other world, so that you can leave those other
Unknown:thoughts to the side. And if they're really, really important
Unknown:thoughts, then write them down, and then reset, because then you
Unknown:don't forget the thoughts, at least they're on a paper, you
Unknown:can put them near your bed, and then yeah, and then you have
Unknown:permission to let them go. Now, we can only remember so much at
Unknown:once or only have so much on our plates. So I will do that little
Unknown:meditation that kind of calms the heart rate down and my
Unknown:thoughts. And then I love to read. And I also have been
Unknown:journal writing more. So that's when I'll pull out one of those
Unknown:at least, and do that before bed and really try. And you don't
Unknown:have to do this. But I think it helps is really trying not to be
Unknown:scrolling on the phone or some sort of screen or technology. I
Unknown:just feel like with that blue light that just causes us to
Unknown:stay up like our minds are like, Oh, it's a time when it's not or
Unknown:it's like it's time to be awake and have fun when it's like now
Unknown:it's time to go to sleep. So that's that's kind of another
Unknown:thing, I pretty much just do these little activities that end
Unknown:up just knocking me right out. I almost never have sleep problems
Unknown:now, which is great.
Unknown:So, so healing, would you say there and more and more people
Unknown:start realizing this that if your doctor doesn't ask you for
Unknown:your sleep patterns. If he's only concerned about your food
Unknown:intake or alcohol intake, but doesn't ask any questions
Unknown:regarding your sleep, then he is most of the time missing the
Unknown:point because we need sleep to recharge our batteries and detox
Unknown:our mind. And very important thing that you mentioned there
Unknown:is that you write stuff down because your monkey mind will
Unknown:come up with ideas to keep thinking and to keep being
Unknown:engaged and all but I don't want to forget all but I want to
Unknown:problem solve this for the next eight hours.
Unknown:To to write it down and to tell your monkey mind, hey, you can
Unknown:relax now I have it written down and tomorrow morning, I'll take
Unknown:care of it. And to kind of
Unknown:turn the volume down of that little guy up there and turn up
Unknown:the volume of
Unknown:guided meditation or reading an inspiring book is those are very
Unknown:powerful tools that I use myself. And we'd like people to
Unknown:at least try
Unknown:and
Unknown:so that was the the evening routine. Do you have a routine
Unknown:in the morning? When you get up and start your day I noticed
Unknown:that
Unknown:this is where my anxiety peaks right after waking up where I'm
Unknown:like, Oh my God, there's so much to do so much to call
Unknown:unleash.
Unknown:How is it for you? Do you have a couple of tips and tricks for
Unknown:the morning?
Unknown:So the kind of tie in the night and the morning a little bit
Unknown:with what you asked said is, I actually consider it an
Unknown:advantage. When you do have those thoughts racing that you
Unknown:can write it down, because then it gives you your to do list in
Unknown:a sense for the next morning. It's like, oh, cool, you're
Unknown:already prepared to start off, right? Because that was your
Unknown:relaxed time that you got. And you're using just a couple
Unknown:minutes just to get all that down to where now you don't have
Unknown:to use your time in the morning to be scrambling around and be
Unknown:like, Oh, my God, what do I have to do? The list is right there.
Unknown:So it's kind of I see that, that at least in a way, that's me, I
Unknown:guess trying to turn a negative into a positive, where you might
Unknown:think racing thoughts is a weakness, where it's like, no,
Unknown:you can actually use that to your advantage. With the with
Unknown:the morning schedule, my morning schedule has altered here and
Unknown:there. And that's the other thing too, is sometimes the same
Unknown:schedule can get a little monotonous. So you might want to
Unknown:change it up here and there. I think that's perfectly fine,
Unknown:too. As long as you're getting your stuff done. Some of the
Unknown:things that have stayed the same for me is I will wake up
Unknown:usually, what's pretty bad as I don't even need an alarm clock
Unknown:anymore. At this point, my circadian rhythm is just like
Unknown:having me up at six in the morning. Or like 630 The latest
Unknown:it's crazy how that happens. I use I'm like, That's unheard of
Unknown:people think I'm not but but um, I usually like 6am is a perfect
Unknown:time. If I wake up a little earlier a little later. I try
Unknown:not you know, if it's a little bit later, specifically, I you
Unknown:know, you can't stress about that it life happens, you're not
Unknown:going to always you might not always wake up at the exact same
Unknown:minute or feel good every morning waking up. But they're
Unknown:still like the best thing is yeah, definitely don't stress
Unknown:about that, because it just will lead you in a hole. Yeah, it
Unknown:could definitely increase the anxiety to where things seem
Unknown:more complicated and out of reach than they really are, when
Unknown:it's always in the same spot. Your goals, I guess what I mean,
Unknown:so. So I always one of the best things I added to my morning
Unknown:schedule is stretching. And I've only had to do it for like two
Unknown:to three minutes. At least, if I can fit, I usually do like a two
Unknown:to five minutes. But if you can at least get because there's a
Unknown:lot of people are like, I don't have time to do that. Two
Unknown:minutes, take two minutes to just stretch out your arms, legs
Unknown:and back and chest area. I used to have horrible, I was starting
Unknown:to develop a really horrible upper back pain and like kind of
Unknown:in my neck, but the shoulder blades specifically. And that
Unknown:was a couple years ago ever since I did at least two minutes
Unknown:stretching every morning have not had back pain since. And
Unknown:it's crazy. Like I just I was starting to accept the fate of
Unknown:I'm getting older. So I have to feel like crap. And I have to be
Unknown:miserable. Because aging and it's like it doesn't need to be
Unknown:that way. There are people out there who are 8596 years old,
Unknown:that are still running marathons and feeling great. And it's
Unknown:because they came up with these routines that are healthy for
Unknown:them and that work for them. So it's to me, it's inspiring. And
Unknown:it reminds me like okay, yeah, you don't, you don't you can,
Unknown:you don't have to be miserable in this life, we get the one
Unknown:life and let's, you know, let's work with as much as we can.
Unknown:So yeah, the stretching really helps. I actually try to, I'm a
Unknown:big reader. And I also kind of with my morning and my night. It
Unknown:just really is it's kind of like a book analogy. I like to look
Unknown:at it as two bookends. So certain things I do at night I
Unknown:try to also do in the morning. So for example, I will try to
Unknown:read at least a chapter morning and night because it's like a
Unknown:good way to start the day like it gets the mind moving a little
Unknown:bit just doing some light reading and then at the end you
Unknown:kind of end your way it's an activity I love so I feel like
Unknown:something you really enjoy. Have it bookmark on both ends of the
Unknown:day, have the work in between and then you have something to
Unknown:start your day on a good way and then something to look forward
Unknown:to later.
Unknown:Let's see. Yeah, so like I said, I will usually my minimum is a
Unknown:chapter I will you know, eat breakfast of course. Well I say
Unknown:of course some people skip breakfast do not skip breakfast.
Unknown:I just remember that there's people that won't eat for like
Unknown:12 hours. I just in my opinion, don't skip breakfast. You
Unknown:definitely want to I feel like when you do that it just you
Unknown:don't know you got to nurture your brain not even so much the
Unknown:food but the nutrients in the food. I feel like that's what we
Unknown:really need to nurture that brain because if we don't have
Unknown:that, I know there's been days where I
Unknown:either like, did it eat a good breakfast like it was either too
Unknown:small or there was no nutrients in it. And I just was off most
Unknown:of the day and trying to get back trying to get the train
Unknown:back on the train track. So I feel like that's really
Unknown:important. I, I'm guilty of this that game wordly has entered my
Unknown:morning routine. But it's actually and for people who
Unknown:don't know what wordly is, it's, it's owned by New York Times
Unknown:now, you guess you have six chances to guess a five letter
Unknown:word. And at first, I viewed this as Oh, no, this is like
Unknown:some new game addiction that I don't need on my phone, or I
Unknown:don't need to like waste time over the good news, a couple of
Unknown:things. One, it's a new puzzle only once a day. So once you
Unknown:solve it, you have to wait a whole other day to solve a new
Unknown:one. And two, I realized it actually was developing my
Unknown:because in a way, it's like a word puzzle. It's kind of
Unknown:similar to like a sudoku type of thing. So it gets your brain
Unknown:working in the morning. And I noticed as I've added that, I'm
Unknown:like, wow, I can even get even more focused. And my problem
Unknown:solving actually increased a little bit sounds like that's
Unknown:really cool. So like, it doesn't have to be worldly, but
Unknown:something that can get your brain thinking like a little bit
Unknown:of critical thinking a little bit of problem solving before
Unknown:you even do your work and might help with your actual work a
Unknown:little bit, because you already started training your brain.
Unknown:Another thing I will do at times in the morning, if I I mean,
Unknown:sometimes I'll have like a half hour to do it. Sometimes I might
Unknown:only have 10 minutes, but it's like some sort of quick little
Unknown:workout to kind of get like the physical part of me moving and
Unknown:waking up. So whether it's like some push ups and sit ups or I
Unknown:have, I own some weights, so might lift a little bit of
Unknown:weights might jog in place a little bit, I kind of tie that
Unknown:in with the stretching. So that's like all my physical
Unknown:stuff to wake me up. And then I kind of will do like the problem
Unknown:solving. And I guess a big thing that I try not to do like I used
Unknown:to is, when we wake up, we go right to the cell phone and
Unknown:write to the social media. And I try to save that for after I'm
Unknown:right. Like I have to get ready for the day. First, I have to do
Unknown:all those other things. And then I earned the right to check
Unknown:social media or check something that might be a little more mind
Unknown:numbing. Yeah, yeah, that makes total sense. And my main
Unknown:takeaway from from what you just shared with us is basically that
Unknown:you get up in the morning for yourself.
Unknown:Yes, stuff to wake your body up, wake your mind up in a playful
Unknown:way in a way that feels good. And then you get to social
Unknown:media, and how can I serve the world. And it doesn't really
Unknown:matter if you are in a relationship or a single, if you
Unknown:are a parent, or CEO of some company, get up in the morning,
Unknown:even if it's just 10 minutes earlier than usual. And just
Unknown:focus on yourself. I find that super inspiring. And I do that
Unknown:myself. And sometimes I even at the end of the day, I mute my
Unknown:day. And I just watch myself from Burt's perspective and see,
Unknown:what did I do with my body this morning? What did I do over
Unknown:lunch? What did I do over the afternoon? Was I sitting the
Unknown:whole day and kind of hunched over and now in the evening, I
Unknown:wonder that my muscles are sore? Or how much did I use my muscles
Unknown:and my
Unknown:my body to get things done and then realize, okay, you need to
Unknown:take care of your mind and of your body. Because that's going
Unknown:to influence how you feel. And I love the little stretch the time
Unknown:you take in the morning.
Unknown:That is so critical and that it's not half an hour or 20
Unknown:minutes. That would be way too much for for some people will
Unknown:start this routine, but just two to five minutes can make such a
Unknown:difference already. That's, that's really beautiful. Frank,
Unknown:I would like to ask you now,
Unknown:these routines that you introduced into your life,
Unknown:how would you say?
Unknown:And now if you were in a relationship, how would these
Unknown:routines that you do for yourself influence your partner?
Unknown:Or if you are single, how did it better your connection to
Unknown:yourself? Maybe Maybe you can
Unknown:talk
Unknown:about both sides, like if you were in a relationship or if you
Unknown:are, and if you are single with yourself.
Unknown:How would it? How would you put that into words?
Unknown:So, yeah, that's a good question. I maybe this is why
Unknown:I'm single.
Unknown:Because the relationship I mean, I haven't been in a relationship
Unknown:in a while. So it's easier to know how it affects me. When I'm
Unknown:single, and I guess which I can still answer the other question
Unknown:too. But it definitely in a single sense, it helped me.
Unknown:It definitely helped me feel less lost. And it definitely
Unknown:like you had said to a, it gives priority to yourself, so that
Unknown:I'm not because when you go,
Unknown:I feel like when you just the first thing you do if you just
Unknown:go right on social media, and either you're scrolling or maybe
Unknown:you're even doing some posting to I feel like you're putting
Unknown:your energy right into everyone else or everyone else's
Unknown:opinions. And yeah, you don't give yourself the appropriate
Unknown:time. I think a lot of us will complain at times that we don't
Unknown:have enough alone time or enough quiet time or anything. And it's
Unknown:like honestly, yeah, right. When you wake up, you can. Sometimes
Unknown:it's figuring out when to wake up. I know people who have
Unknown:children, it's like you got to you got to find the time when
Unknown:everyone's sleeping, maybe to do that. But it's possible. It's
Unknown:not the easiest thing to develop this type of routine or
Unknown:schedule, but I think it's it can be possible for everyone
Unknown:just it's going to obviously be different. For everyone with
Unknown:Yeah, so with being single, it definitely reminded me that
Unknown:whether we are with someone, or we have a whole family, or we're
Unknown:single, you have to be number one priority, because if you
Unknown:don't, you can't take care of anyone else, if you're just
Unknown:completely lost and a mess. And man, I've been that many times
Unknown:through my life. So I'm like, I need to Yeah, I need to be okay,
Unknown:I want to help people in this world. So I have to help myself.
Unknown:And I have to be okay. Otherwise, I'm not going to
Unknown:achieve one of my biggest goals, which is that and in the
Unknown:relationship sense, it's interesting, because there's
Unknown:someone that I think about one person that I talked to where he
Unknown:is on a completely opposite schedule as me because he works
Unknown:third shift. So obviously, the sleep schedules are very
Unknown:different. And it can be challenging coming up with well,
Unknown:when do we talk type of thing, because I'm a morning person
Unknown:waking up at 6am, that person is getting out of work and going to
Unknown:bed at that time as I'm waking up. So it's literally the sun
Unknown:and the moon, trying to date.
Unknown:And we know the sun and the moon usually don't see each other,
Unknown:but they're passing. So it can, it can definitely be
Unknown:challenging. And I've done, I've done that thing. And I saw as he
Unknown:where you will,
Unknown:I guess you'll kind of sacrifice some of that sleep or some of
Unknown:that time to try to make it work, when there's definitely
Unknown:different ways to do it. And that's definitely seeing when's
Unknown:the same times that you guys are awake. Because yeah, you don't
Unknown:like for my case, I don't want to have to stay up until one or
Unknown:two in the morning. Because that person is wide awake, and they
Unknown:shouldn't have to stay up when they need sleep at like eight
Unknown:nine in the morning. Just because I'm awake. So it's
Unknown:definitely it's definitely a compromise that it's not easy.
Unknown:But it's definitely possible to still find that congruent time
Unknown:with each other. But then also giving yourself permission to
Unknown:say, hey, it's so and so time, I need to go to bed. But I'm happy
Unknown:you know, but let's, let's talk during this time, like let's
Unknown:give ourselves a specific a lot of time to communicate to see
Unknown:each other. You know, everyone gets everyone should have some
Unknown:sort of days off. That's a good time to try to connect that way
Unknown:as well. But yeah, with relationships that can
Unknown:definitely be it can be challenging, and it can be easy
Unknown:to want to completely change that person into your schedule,
Unknown:which I've you know, and I've had the I've been guilty of
Unknown:thoughts of that where I'm like, Oh, I just wish this person woke
Unknown:up the same time I did, and had the same exact schedule, but
Unknown:that's not reality. Like everyone has different
Unknown:schedules. It's all about making it work. If you really care
Unknown:enough about the person, you're going to make it work don't try
Unknown:to change your partner into something that into you, you
Unknown:know, like let them be them in that sense because it's
Unknown:definitely I just think you guys will be happier that way trying
Unknown:to make it work and you know, without all the resentment and
Unknown:stuff
Unknown:Hmm,
Unknown:that makes total sense. And adding to that,
Unknown:I'm a little bit the opposite. I'm guilty of throwing
Unknown:everything overboard, when I meet somebody that is so
Unknown:interesting, because not now I feel awesome. Now I'm inspired.
Unknown:Now I'm full of energy, I don't need my stupid self care
Unknown:anymore. And they will attend.
Unknown:And then, after a couple months, you realize, Hmm, maybe I should
Unknown:have my little routines back because the other person
Unknown:shouldn't feel responsible of my anxiety and feeling.
Unknown:Not grounded enough. And it can give you a deep sense, like, no
Unknown:matter if you're single, or in a relationship, it can give you a
Unknown:deep sense of self. That is hugely attractive for everybody
Unknown:around you.
Unknown:I noticed people who are very magnetic people who have that
Unknown:glow in their eyes, and I count you into
Unknown:they have a very,
Unknown:I don't want to say rigid but consistent self care practice.
Unknown:And, and it shows, it shows that a person is taking care of
Unknown:themselves. And
Unknown:it's something that we should all learn to cling to.
Unknown:With, with everything we have.
Unknown:I'd like to ask you now, when it comes to everything we're going
Unknown:through right now, we had COVID First, and now we have
Unknown:world war three. I don't know if we can call it world war three,
Unknown:but it definitely feels like it.
Unknown:For people. I don't know, I didn't ask you like, do you
Unknown:watch the news a lot? Do you try to keep up?
Unknown:For people who want to stay informed, but also want to
Unknown:keep functioning in society, but have a hard time right now to be
Unknown:okay, and happy with what they have because of so much
Unknown:suffering?
Unknown:Is there any advice that you may be received in recent
Unknown:conversations? Or that you could advise?
Unknown:Our listeners?
Unknown:Definitely COVID. So you have before even getting into
Unknown:Ukraine, because that is a whole other like, wow.
Unknown:Like, well, these couple of years man event, someone's
Unknown:really testing us humans. But
Unknown:I, yeah, COVID was at the beginning. It was like, okay,
Unknown:I'm good. And my self care was good. And then.
Unknown:And I think that's because we thought it was going to end
Unknown:sooner than it did. And then as it set in, where it's like, wow,
Unknown:this is still going is when it started again, depressing. And
Unknown:the anxiety started rising. And yeah, my answer, part of my
Unknown:answer was going to be having to do with the news. And I just
Unknown:remember when I was younger, the news just didn't seem everywhere
Unknown:like it is today. Like, even on TV, it just didn't seem so
Unknown:frequent. There's so many different channels to get the
Unknown:news. And it's all like similar yet different news at that. The
Unknown:similarity with the news is that it's all scaring us half the
Unknown:time. It might be a different message behind it. But it's like
Unknown:to kind of scare us a little bit. And it's like all the
Unknown:negative Yeah, all the negative, there's not really much positive
Unknown:on the news. And then what makes it worse is now I check out like
Unknown:Tic, I'll go tick tock was usually a source for me to get
Unknown:like the laughs and stuff and positive messages. And now all
Unknown:you see is COVID or Ukraine news. And so it's like the news
Unknown:is everywhere, like on every platform, every social media
Unknown:platform, it's on TV, they say stuff on the radio, it just
Unknown:seems like we can't escape it. So I guess one of my biggest
Unknown:pieces of advice is that well, the good news is that we have a
Unknown:beautiful nature. Like how do I word it? Nature is beautiful in
Unknown:a sense in that we all have some sort of outdoors area. And I
Unknown:would say that when it comes to the news
Unknown:because we want to be informed I would say just put a limit, like
Unknown:you don't need to watch four or five different news stations.
Unknown:All in the same thing. Like I would say check out the news.
Unknown:One time a day. At least that's what I do.
Unknown:Oh, now because I was doing the morning, the afternoon and the
Unknown:evening. And it's like, know,
Unknown:and trust. And honestly, there's always going to, I think there's
Unknown:always going to be someone out there that's doing that anyway,
Unknown:that's going to share it all anyway, online. So it's like,
Unknown:you'll get it, you'll kind of like hear about it anyway, I
Unknown:don't think I used to get nervous about like, Oh, I'm not
Unknown:going to know what's going on in the world. But it's everywhere,
Unknown:like you can't like, if you really want to find a piece of
Unknown:news, it's going to be somewhere like, you're going to catch it.
Unknown:So I there's no FOMO in that. I feel like missing out there.
Unknown:Because we're gonna always know, at the same time, we have the
Unknown:power to tune in or not. When it comes to frequency, and just
Unknown:when in general. So yeah, I told myself that I had to pick either
Unknown:morning or evening, which evening is supposed to relax me.
Unknown:So I'm like, I'm gonna choose morning to just like, do a
Unknown:couple minutes. My roommate watches the news all the time.
Unknown:So if anything, sometimes I walk out and he just tells me
Unknown:something that's going on. I'm like, oh, cool, I don't have to
Unknown:watch the news. Now.
Unknown:It was just a quick little conversation I can forget about.
Unknown:But yet stay informed with it. Some kind of luck out there. But
Unknown:yeah, I would say limit that. It going outside, I used to take
Unknown:for granted a lot. And when were kids, I would forget how much
Unknown:time we actually like how much freedom we had for that we just
Unknown:didn't have as many responsibilities. You know, and
Unknown:for some of us, too, there wasn't as much technology. But
Unknown:the main thing is we didn't have as much responsibilities, which
Unknown:gave us more time for free time, which included going outside and
Unknown:we're just you know, a lot of us are so used to like being stuck
Unknown:in a building with work or having or being on a computer
Unknown:all day with work. And I, I'm fortunate enough for my work, I
Unknown:can kind of take with me on a computer. So I will go outside
Unknown:or I'll go to a different Park, I'll go to a different place if
Unknown:I really want to get it that way. And then sometimes I leave
Unknown:the computer in the office, I'm like Screw your computer, I'm
Unknown:going out, I'm going through, I'm gonna take a journey through
Unknown:the woods, and just breathe for a second. And that's why I love
Unknown:trees, by the way. And I live on the east coast in the United
Unknown:States. So trees are lovely. Over here, and I just go through
Unknown:the woods. And I just breathe it in. And, and even try you know,
Unknown:and if you're doing that really try not to be on your phone or
Unknown:an electronic as well. And really just like, and that
Unknown:includes music too. And just like really listen to the world.
Unknown:And listen to the stillness and the quiet. And I think that, for
Unknown:me, it's a good reset, so that when I'm feeling a bunch of
Unknown:anxiety, it's almost like a reset button. Or I'm like, okay,
Unknown:like the world feels loud. It feels crazy. Right now, this is
Unknown:just a quick reset. Because you know, at the end of the day, I
Unknown:think good things and bad things are always going to happen in
Unknown:the world. So that's why we can't
Unknown:we just can't put ourselves through hell of always being
Unknown:focused on every little negative thing. Because all those
Unknown:thoughts aren't going to change what's actually happening
Unknown:Ukraine and Russia, it's still happening, whether we're overly
Unknown:analyzing it or not. So, so I would say that, obviously we
Unknown:have to accept the reality of what's going on in the world.
Unknown:But we also have to give ourselves permission to breathe,
Unknown:as well and, and just accept that. We we have more control
Unknown:than we think we do when it comes to our inner peace.
Unknown:Wow.
Unknown:Everybody let this sink in. We have more control over our inner
Unknown:peace, then we think
Unknown:Frank illusio
Unknown:this is your
Unknown:it's yours and I'll be using it.
Unknown:Why Frank, hugely resonates with my heart.
Unknown:And I love how you emphasize that we are part of nature we
Unknown:need to allow ourselves to get back to nature, to be present
Unknown:with nature. And what I want to add to that if you don't have
Unknown:trees or parks, where you live, random acts of kindness, with
Unknown:strangers eye contact, holding a door helping an elderly person
Unknown:over the street. Those those little deep connections that we
Unknown:can create with people we know or don't know, also deeply
Unknown:nurture our heart
Unknown:Because in that moment, we are fully present with something
Unknown:outside of ourselves. And that usually helps us to bring all
Unknown:the anxiety and negativity down.
Unknown:I love everything you said there. And I love most that it
Unknown:is so easy to apply. It is not you don't need money for it. You
Unknown:don't need to, you know, be overly spiritual. If you're not
Unknown:there yet, you can just do baby steps and you will see the
Unknown:results. You will reap the fruit from from little changes,
Unknown:like you offered here with us today. Endlessly precious,
Unknown:endlessly precious.
Unknown:To add in, yes, yes. Sorry, just to add in quick because I made
Unknown:me remember with COVID, not that there's really positives that
Unknown:come out of COVID. But a positive for me that came out of
Unknown:the negative experience was realizing how, just how
Unknown:antisocial we've become as a society. Like I just really
Unknown:didn't click with me before that and like that really set it in.
Unknown:And I think just with having to wear a mask, for example, like
Unknown:that alone. I'm like, wow, that actually made communication a
Unknown:little bit more difficult, because we're covering that
Unknown:because we have to, but I was like, but even before the masks,
Unknown:we weren't communicating anyway, half the time like it didn't
Unknown:even matter if we were wearing a mask or not. We weren't, we
Unknown:weren't doing those random acts of kindness a lot, or we weren't
Unknown:really appreciating human beings maybe as much as we really
Unknown:could. I just I don't know, I think. And I think that goes
Unknown:back to the whole, like inner chaos that happens with us,
Unknown:sometimes where it's like, we're so lost in our own stuff, that
Unknown:we don't even have the power or freedom to help others or even
Unknown:think about others in a compassionate way. But I am
Unknown:seeing more and more of that with either work that you do or
Unknown:work that you see other people do. And it's like, yeah, there's
Unknown:hope in this world.
Unknown:Yeah, it is so beautiful that COVID brought a lot of goodness,
Unknown:a lot of
Unknown:a lot of reflection and realization that was so
Unknown:necessary. And that would have been, like not possible without
Unknown:without that traumatic experience.
Unknown:I'd love to give you the opportunity now to first share a
Unknown:couple books with us that deeply changed the way you feel or
Unknown:think for the better. And then how can people reach you and
Unknown:start following you find you?
Unknown:Questions. So with the books I've been,
Unknown:I haven't been doing. So a lot of my reading lately has been
Unknown:more fiction, for the most part. So that might not be like the
Unknown:most helpful when it comes to if people are looking for self
Unknown:help. But one book that I can recommend that I'm almost done
Unknown:with that I really like and this ties into what we were talking
Unknown:about earlier is atomic habits.
Unknown:That book
Unknown:What's his name? I don't have the book in front of me, Jean. I
Unknown:want to say James clear, so bad, but I can't remember if that's
Unknown:actually I feel like his first name is James. But atomic
Unknown:habits, if you look that up, it will pop right up. Yeah. And
Unknown:that.
Unknown:That that's helped a little bit too. That makes me want to
Unknown:revisit my habits I already have and like even make them
Unknown:stronger. That's a really, I highly recommend that book.
Unknown:Wherever you buy it, whether it's a bookstore, Amazon or
Unknown:whoever you want to support it. Yeah, I definitely recommend
Unknown:that. And then to find me, I'm always changing these I feel my
Unknown:username always changes. I feel half the time. But I want to say
Unknown:so my, I have like three Instagrams. And so my personal
Unknown:one is let me be frank Anthony. I have a Bookstagram which is
Unknown:Frank's fiction. And then the podcast one, which that name
Unknown:changed. It used to be let me be frank pod but now it's the love
Unknown:diaries pod because that's hopefully a new podcast that I'm
Unknown:going to be starting in the future with one of my friends is
Unknown:a co host which will pretty much just discuss like it'll be like
Unknown:relief. It'll be reading different relationship stories
Unknown:and kind of giving advice and intake on that. I've I have a
Unknown:really big passion for relationships and like kind of
Unknown:helping couples and all that I've always had a big passion
Unknown:with that. But so those are the Instagrams and then tick tock is
Unknown:let me be frank Anthony. And I can't remember Twitter.
Unknown:We are at the moment. I think it's also let me be frank
Unknown:Anthony. And then Facebook, I want to say is Frank's fiction.
Unknown:But if the best way to do this is my website is www dot let me
Unknown:be frank anthony.com. And all the socials should be connected
Unknown:in there somehow. Very good. That easy then for us to to find
Unknown:you. Well, thank you so much for this genuine, heartwarming
Unknown:conversation. I enjoyed every minute. And yeah, we stay
Unknown:connected. And we'll keep in contact, especially during those
Unknown:difficult times. Thank you so much for being here and for
Unknown:being the light out there and the hope and the inspiration for
Unknown:so many people.
Unknown:Thank you so much Aurora. I could I could talk with you for
Unknown:hours.
Unknown:We should do that again soon. All right. Yeah. Dear listeners.
Unknown:I hope you enjoyed this episode. I hope we were able to bring you
Unknown:a lot of value and inspiration, hope and motivation. You are
Unknown:loved. And until next time, bye bye. Take care.