Join host Erika Audrey and Kelly as they welcome special guest Rebecca Cummings, the founder of Legacy Studio Estate Law. In this enlightening episode, they explore the critical topic of wills and what happens legally after we pass away. Dive into the art of manifesting your dream life and engage in a lively discussion about their predictions for Atlanta's Michelin star rating. It's a thought-provoking blend of legal insights and the pursuit of a life well-lived!

Get your will done! - https://legacystudiolaw.com/

Atlanta's Michelin Guide- https://guide.michelin.com/us/en/georgia/atlanta_2884144/restaurants

(Skip Lazy Betty!!)

Welcome to Clover club.

2

Hi Kelly.

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Hi, Erica.

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What's up.

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Um, I went to two concerts this weekend.

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It's a lot of concerts.

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And my throat is feeling it.

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So if I sound scratchy

it's cause I partied.

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Okay.

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Well, I feel like this is a good

episode for that because our guest

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has a lot of valuable content to share

and we can just let her, you know,

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be the one to take up more airspace.

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I'm happy with that.

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Perfect.

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I love learning.

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I love learning too.

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, our guest today is Rebecca Cummings.

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She owns legacy studio estate law.

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She is one of my favorite

clients and she's a friend.

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She's a mentor.

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I was telling Kelly before

we started recording that.

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Every decision I make in life.

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I'm like would Rebecca

Cummings approve of that?

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She is my holy grail, human being.

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And I dress.

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And I don't take this lightly.

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, she's just the best.

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And you know, we've started this theme

in October of our episodes be in.

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Our version of scary stuff.

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And what is scarier than dying?

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Boom.

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BU.

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And so today, Rebecca is here in the

studio with us and we're gonna shine

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a bright light on all of those scary

and uncomfortable things that happen.

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Before during and after we die.

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And probably some other cool stuff.

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, we'll just go ahead and

get started, Rebecca.

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Hi.

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Hello.

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Hi.

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Thanks for having me.

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Oh my gosh.

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Thank you so, so much for coming.

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Yeah.

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How.

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Well, I I'm.

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I do.

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I love talking about death.

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Normalizing it.

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Yeah.

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So I do too.

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And I don't know if it's, I mean,

from a young age I experienced some

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deaths and they kind of have that's

continued throughout my adult life.

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So I think what I've had a higher

exposure rate for someone my age.

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, compared to my peers.

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And so I, like, I would be a death doula.

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I'm very comfortable talking about death.

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I love asking people hard

questions and stuff like that.

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And then there's people like

Kelly, who literally she's

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shaking her head right now.

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Like.

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I'm not, I am not a desk person.

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I have anxiety problems.

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And so therefore every time I talk

about death or dying, I just get

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stressed out because that's kind of

what my anxiety like revolves around.

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So I don't like talking about it,

but I'm game to be here, obviously.

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I think that's fair and I bet you,

there are people listening who agree.

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And if that's the case, I would invite

you to stick it out for this episode,

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because we're going to talk about

some important, stick it out with me.

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Cause I'm digging out with.

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You can do what you can do it.

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Um, we'll keep it a little light.

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I mean, you can't talk about death

and dying all day and not develop sort

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of a weird sense of humor about it.

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Yeah.

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You have to, oh yeah.

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I enjoy keeping things light.

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Yeah.

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It just, because it's a

heavy topic doesn't mean we

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can't have fun discussing it.

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Exactly.

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Yes, definitely.

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Before we get too deep into it, though.

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, Rebecca and I have something in common

and that is that we love to travel

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and we love fine dining and yes we do.

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Yes.

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Yes.

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Kind of fine dining Erica.

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Well, that's funny you ask, we

enjoy Michelin star to fine dining.

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Whoa, fancy girls.

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Coincidentally, while we're

recording this, the Atlanta Michelin

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guide is going to be an app.

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So we may jump in with

our hard earned opinions.

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Our thoughts.

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Lots and lots of thoughts.

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, but it's exciting.

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So I just, it's very exciting.

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I hope that we actually get some stars.

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Didn't we find out that they went

to another market and they didn't

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have enough good restaurants and

they sort of spend all this money.

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And so.

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Florida.

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There was, a three city kind of

combo deal made with Michelin.

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And I think it was Tallahassee, Miami

and Orlando do not quote me on that.

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But I think it was Tallahassee

that didn't get any.

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I thought it was Tampa,

but oh, maybe it's Tampa.

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Another one of the team.

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Yeah, that's sorry, Florida.

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Sorry.

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Sorry.

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I'll keep you straight, but

yeah, for so many reasons,

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But yeah, so it's not a guarantee, but

there is a large entanglement of finances

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in the decision for a city to get rated.

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So I think for, hundreds and hundreds of

thousands of dollars, I would anticipate

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someone's getting a star tonight.

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There's also a category called , which

is not a Michelin star, but it's

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like a recommendation for Michelin.

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And I think we've got a ton of restaurants

that are more than adequate for that.

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So, uh, Do we think

anyone's going to get one.

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I don't want to speculate because I don't

think there's a single restaurant in

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the city that deserves a Michelin star.

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I think we're okay.

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That's an opinion.

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That's an opinion.

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I disagree with that too, but yeah.

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But you just ate at your first

Michelin star restaurant yesterday.

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So, so that doesn't mean anything.

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Missy.

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She watched the bear.

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Yeah, I did all of it.

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I have Google cousin, cousin.

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Suit's now.

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She wears suits.

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I love it.

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So chef.

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, Rebecca, is there anywhere that you're

like, oh, if this place gets it.

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I'm going to be mad or this place

better get it, or any strong opinions.

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I mean, I don't, I don't feel that

if someplace gets it, I'll be mad.

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It might inspire me to try some

places that weren't very impressive,

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but the restaurant that I've

been to recently that I thought

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really stood out was Georgia boy.

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And I'm expecting Georgia

boy to get a star.

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Okay.

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I feel like that's a bold statement.

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I think so too.

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And I haven't been there, so

it's not bold because I disagree.

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It's bold.

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Because it's in Atlanta.

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, but I totally respect your opinion

and I'm super curious to see.

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I just think that we have like a

good food community here in Atlanta.

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I think that there are people who are

pushing boundaries and are doing some

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great work and I'm just, I want it.

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For the city.

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I think that it's, it would

be really great for us.

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And I think some people deserve it.

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Do I?

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Well, the food is one thing,

but Eric has beef is not with

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the food it's with the service.

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Well, I don't think that I know

what's going to get it or what's

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not going to get it for sure.

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I have literally no idea.

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But I think that if we do, I'd be really

happy for us and excited about it.

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There's one restaurant that I'll call

here's the thing, I will never make a

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statement on this podcast that I wouldn't

back up verbally to the face of the

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person that I made the statement about.

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And there's one person on the

list that I will call it by name.

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And it's the lazy Betty.

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If they get a star, I

will burn the city down.

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I a thousand percent

agree I've been there.

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And then, uh, no, no, no, no, no.

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You've been there.

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Haven't been there, but have.

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Not, I would not even say

that I've heard mixed things.

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I've heard a lot of

negative things really.

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Okay.

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Yeah.

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I had an extremely expensive,

extremely horrible meal there,

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and this is why I don't mind.

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Saying names is because, you know,

when you make a reservation on Rezi,

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the next day they send you an email

and they want you to review them.

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It's not an external review.

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It's an internal review

that goes to the restaurant.

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I took a lot of time to give a very

thoughtful explanation of why I did not

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have a good experience at this restaurant.

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And they never even responded.

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And I knew for sure that

they got the like that's.

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Hmm.

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They got it.

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You know, and so it's like to not even

be like, Hey, like we don't always

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miss the mark and we're sorry, like if

you ever come back again, let us know.

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We'd love to.

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You know, give you a glass of

champagne or whatever the fuck.

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Um, they may be overwhelmed with similar

reviews based on what I'm hearing.

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That may not be the only thoughtful.

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Review because people are going

there dropping serious cash

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and having experiences that

aren't worthy of the bill.

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Yeah.

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People think because it's a tasting menu

that it's fancy and that's not the case.

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Yeah.

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No, not at all.

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A caricature of fine dining.

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Anyways, did it.

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, well, it'll be interesting

to see when we see that list.

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I bet between the three of us

that we will have been to pretty

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much every restaurant on the list.

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Yeah, for sure.

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I'm very curious.

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And it'll be interesting

to see what it is.

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But one thing that I'm curious about

is what they do with Buford highway.

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Uh, same.

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Thank you.

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Yeah, same, same, same,

same, same, same, same.

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If Buford highway does not get a

solid acknowledgement, that will

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be such a slight to our city.

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That would be the, I would not respect

Michelin if they didn't correct.

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It's such a poignant, place in our city.

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I agree.

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Credible it's like, how can I, I

don't think they'll pass it by.

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I don't think they will.

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How well it's represented.

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I mean, my husband and I have

been to a hole in the wall,

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toppest places in Spain that they.

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, gave stars to, so I'm exp I

mean, they, they go everywhere.

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Yeah.

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And, , it'll be fascinating

to see what they pull.

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. One thing I know for sure is there are

zero, two star restaurants and obviously

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no three star restaurants in the city.

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We shall see.

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We're gonna find.

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$1,000.

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Nobody gets to start.

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I will bet on taco bell table.

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Which is more than.

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Yeah.

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My crazy.

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It was the comma and the

price of this fucking thing.

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Complete emotional purpose.

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It's beautiful.

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My favorite color.

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See.

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Purple I was in Europe.

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She's like, I did something crazy.

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Like.

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What did you do?

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And then she wouldn't tell me.

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Literally would not tell

me I'm like in Europe.

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Texting her like eight times

being like, what is the Burgess?

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What is it?

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It was this, it was the table.

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Nobody could have guessed.

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I did like, no.

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Yeah, and this is if you want to learn

about yourself, post on social media.

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I just made an insane purchase.

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Guess what it was, and then let

people guess, and it'll tell you

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exactly what people think of you.

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What did they say about man?

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And everybody was like, I mean,

probably a hundred people.

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We're like a new Porsche.

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I was like, no.

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, lots of car gases, , lots

of handbag guesses.

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Yeah.

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, but I, what I explained was like, I'm

not going to soft launch a car purchase

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because that just sounds so douchey.

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If like guests.

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So true.

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Ah, look at how to be truly insane,

but I'm like for a million dollars, I

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don't think anybody would have guessed.

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Talk about table.

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Uh, no.

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Yeah, no one would have guessed that.

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Nobody at all.

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. So here's a good pivot.

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When you die.

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You don't want to leave your

loved ones, guessing what the

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heck they should be doing.

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I know you need to communicate about who

is going to get this taco bell table.

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That's true.

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I do need to update my wall.

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Yeah.

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It may

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be on your best behavior at this point.

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He was like, am I being here?

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You're a contender Kelly.

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You're definitely a contender.

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, so Rebecca has handled my will and

all of my estate planning stuff.

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And, , I'm single.

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I don't have kids, but it was still

really important to me because I just

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feel like I'm going to die young.

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, Oh, you have never mentioned that.

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Oh really?

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I don't like those sentences.

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Oh, Sorry.

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I just have that vibe.

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I'm like, For a good

time, not for a long time.

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So I'm just like in the off

chance that it's like, my

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parents have to deal with it.

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I wanted everything to be zipped

up nice and tidy and , not

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leave a mess for people.

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Like if you've got businesses too.

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Yeah.

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People who were employed by you, and

you need to think about those things.

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Totally.

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And I talked to a lot of people

about it and they're like, I think

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that's a really easy thing to put

off doing because it's not free.

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It takes a lot of mental and

emotional labor to compose.

306

And, , it's just an easy thing to not do.

307

So once people have made the decision

that they need to do that, Rebecca kind

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of explain from there, what people need

to be prepared to bring to the table.

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To think about.

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Yeah.

311

So I mean, you're right.

312

That making the decision is

sort of the hardest part.

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And I think for a lot of people,

it goes even further than that,

314

they think if they think about

it, it's more likely to happen.

315

Right.

316

You know, if you think about it, then

it just becomes a little bit more real.

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And so I always say it's

like carrying an umbrella.

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Doesn't make it more likely

that it's going to rain.

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It makes it more likely

that you'll stay dry.

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Yeah.

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So, you know, I say I'm in the

peace of mind business, right.

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So I want you to leave my office

and feel like, okay, now I don't

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have to think about that again.

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Yeah.

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Right.

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Everything.

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Everything is taken care of I've adulting.

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And thought about these unpleasant

things and made some decisions, , that

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hopefully won't come to pass anytime soon.

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And now I can just go on living.

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I've taken care of it.

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So that's, that's the that's

our mission is to promote peace

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of mind and peace of that.

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Yeah, I like that too.

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Especially like for someone who

doesn't like talking about these

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things, I think it's important

that the person you are talking.

337

About these things with

is in that mindset.

338

Like, I want to provide

peace in this situation.

339

I don't want to , just keep harping

on the whole death thing, you know?

340

Like it's like, no, I like, I

like your umbrella analogy, I

341

guess, is what I'm trying to say.

342

Thank you.

343

Yeah.

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It's yeah, it's nice.

345

It's.

346

It is.

347

I mean, they are.

348

I mean, I, that's what I say.

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I have difficult

conversations all day long.

350

When you talk about death and

incapacity, which has spurred many

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people, even scarier than death.

352

Yeah.

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True.

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Take me out.

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Yup.

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Um, so when you're talking about

that, when you're talking about

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money, when you're talking about

family, the conversations are

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very difficult, but the only thing

worse than having the conversation

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is not having the conversation.

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And leaving your family with no idea

why you did what you did or no plans.

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And they are left to sort of

pick up the pieces without you.

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And that's about half the conversations

I have, you know, I was just

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talking to somebody yesterday.

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Hoo.

365

Uh, had a copy of an old will of his

father's, where he left everything

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in thirds to the three children.

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And apparently right before he

died within the year before he

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died, the father changed the will.

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So that two of the children, his

two siblings got everything out.

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Right.

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And his part was left in

trust with a sister in charge.

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And then his father died.

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Oh shoot.

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And so he's dealing with grief shock.

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Yeah, disappointment.

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Wondering what caused

his father to do that?

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Oh my God.

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He didn't leave a note or anything.

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No cleaning cause decision.

380

He did not leave a note

or anything explaining his

381

decision and then he's left.

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Yeah.

383

It happens all the time, really?

384

Cause think, put yourself in that

father situation, he doesn't want

385

to tell this potentially bad news.

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You know, you're not getting

your money out right.

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To a son and he's, he may be,

have been ill, not feeling great.

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And the last thing he wants to do

is have a difficult conversation,

389

but what he left was a bomb in

his estate plan that went off.

390

And there's all kinds

of collateral damage.

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The other thing to think

about is the siblings.

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Yeah.

393

Their relationship.

394

I mean that's, that's why I named my

company legacy studio, because we are

395

talking about what your legacy is, the

art of putting together your legacy.

396

That's the studio part.

397

And the legacy of this gentleman who

died is that his children will not

398

be close because he's put one child

in charge of the other child's money.

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Surprise.

400

So a lot of difficult conversations.

401

So that's why I say the only thing more

difficult than having the conversation

402

is not having the conversation.

403

Absolutely.

404

And, and your final, that was his final

thing that he communicated to his son

405

is for some reason, I'm not going to

treat you the same as the other two kids.

406

I feel like he has to at least have

some inkling of what it was like,

407

how can that just happen without any.

408

Well, he has a lot of

inklings about what it is.

409

Oh.

410

But he doesn't know exactly

what and show now he's wondering

411

what was it that upset his dad?

412

Dad upset about his marriage.

413

Does dad think he had a drinking problem?

414

Was his dad upset that he was, you

know, about a career change and he has

415

a lot of ideas about what could have,

but he doesn't have any information.

416

No answers.

417

With him to his death.

418

That's insane.

419

That's pretty sad.

420

I don't like that.

421

Yeah.

422

So I mean, a lot of these conversations

are very difficult and very sad, but

423

again, Trying to give him some amount

of peace of mind and peace with sort

424

of what the pieces that we have.

425

So how do you come into play

with, in that situation?

426

Well, there are a lot of different

ways that we might come into play.

427

We might be.

428

Um, you know, doing the administration

of his father's estate, but in

429

this particular case, one of the

things that I do is serve as a

430

professional trustee and executor.

431

So when.

432

There's nobody in the family to do

it, or no friends who are appropriate

433

or a bank's not appropriate.

434

People will ask me to do it.

435

And so he and his lawyer

who he was consulting about

436

counter challenge, this will.

437

Um, we're talking about what might happen

with his relationship with his sister.

438

Um, the lawyer suggested what

if we got a third party trustee?

439

Yeah.

440

So that you weren't having to

go to your sister for money.

441

Yeah.

442

For the rest of your life.

443

Yeah.

444

And he liked that idea.

445

And so we, he was interviewing

me yesterday for that job.

446

I understand.

447

Yeah.

448

How old is he?

449

56.

450

Gosh.

451

Okay.

452

So, and today I had a conversation

with a young couple they're engaged.

453

Her mother died when she was very

young and her grandmother just died.

454

So she's inheriting what

would have gone to her mother?

455

And the uncle has sent her a bunch of

stuff to sign, acknowledging that he's

456

done a good job and, , sort of dangling

a $50,000 distribution, you know,

457

with, if she signs all this paperwork.

458

And she was saying, I feel overwhelmed.

459

I don't understand anything he's saying.

460

Yeah, some of it doesn't make any sense

and I don't really want to hire a lawyer.

461

It's my uncle.

462

But on the other hand, I just, you

know, it's, it's a communication.

463

You just need it.

464

Also, especially like me.

465

I have no earthly idea what

any of that stuff would mean.

466

, so it could a legal document.

467

At least makes sense to have a consultant,

you know, to talk to somebody about it.

468

He knows exactly what they're doing and

can say, no, this is all totally normal.

469

Yeah, it shouldn't be

offensive to the uncle.

470

Yeah.

471

No.

472

Well, if he's not up to no good,

then , there shouldn't be anything

473

to be concerned about, right?

474

Yeah.

475

Yeah.

476

And I have no idea whether he was up

to no good because a lot of these, when

477

I say like, you know, they're the will

contest make for great movies, you know?

478

Books, John Grisham books

and things like that.

479

There aren't a whole lot of will

contest in real life, but there's

480

a whole lot of misunderstanding

because of poor communication.

481

It's often, not that somebody is stealing,

it's just that they're not communicating.

482

And so when somebody is not communicating.

483

, the response to that is for other

people to make up a story in their head.

484

And so that's the danger of sort of

not communicating and, and, um, it's

485

being an executor is a hard job.

486

Being a trustee is a hard job because.

487

Other people are waiting

for this inheritance.

488

It's very important to them

and they want information and

489

you have another full-time job.

490

This is just something you're

doing as your mom named you.

491

And yeah.

492

And communication is, key.

493

I've watched in my time behind

the chair, dozens of clients.

494

Go through this process and have

their relationships with the

495

remaining family members destroyed

because people lose their minds

496

after something like this, they do.

497

And if there isn't.

498

Well, you know, sometimes

there's not a will at all.

499

And then it's just a free for all.

500

Yeah, , if you haven't.

501

Pre established a very clear plan.

502

It's chaos.

503

Yeah.

504

And it's so upsetting to listen

to these people's stories of like

505

people where I'm like, God, you

guys were just vacationing together.

506

You have such a close relationship.

507

And it's like, yeah, well, and in the

middle of the night, she took all of

508

mom's diamonds and dah, dah, dah, dah.

509

And it's like, holy shit.

510

And it's this.

511

Cauldron of grief and shock and yeah.

512

Some and.

513

All it takes is one person who's kind

of on their worst behavior and it can

514

really make a whole family situation.

515

A nightmare.

516

And, you know, what I always say is when

somebody dies, there's somebody in the

517

family who like immediately needs $30,000.

518

They're just somebody is somebody

secretly been on the Dole.

519

Yeah, mom and dad had been paying their

car payment or, , their health insurance.

520

You know, even though they're 56 years

old or whatever, not, not this guy,

521

but I'm saying, you know, And there's

some secret financial arrangement

522

that nobody else knows about.

523

And when mom and dad die and

that, that stream of money from,

524

to the failure to launch person.

525

, stops.

526

They misbehave.

527

Yeah.

528

They're desperate.

529

Yep.

530

And so you have to, if you're the executor

or the trustee, you have to figure out,

531

is there somebody who's desperate here?

532

And how can we make them a

little bit more comfortable?

533

Yeah.

534

So that there'll behave so we

can get through this with some

535

respect and dignity and peace.

536

So that's really one of the

jobs is just to sort of figure

537

out what are the secrets here.

538

That we need to address and

resolve so that we can all move on.

539

We can't fix.

540

You know, the failure to launch, we can't.

541

Go back and have mom not have

made the car payment, right?

542

Yeah.

543

It.

544

Yep.

545

Sounds like a insanely interesting job.

546

It is it, it does sound, it can

be very satisfying to, yeah.

547

Especially.

548

Actually to help everyone in that way.

549

Yeah.

550

And, and really you can think of

your job as being about death.

551

Or being about taxes.

552

, saving people taxes, cause there

was a tax element to it, but I think

553

of it as true family law and again,

promoting peace and peace of mind.

554

And as long as I stay really hooked on

what that mission is, it sort of informs

555

how I approach every conversation.

556

Yeah.

557

That's my purpose.

558

A lot of the advice I

give isn't legal advice.

559

It's just practical advice.

560

I mean somebody, I was

on the phone with today.

561

I said, if it was my mother, I would do X.

562

Yeah.

563

You.

564

It's not, that's not legal advice.

565

I'm just telling you don't sweat.

566

The small stuff.

567

Yeah.

568

Yeah.

569

People need somebody that they

trust in their corner when they're

570

processing something like that.

571

Yeah.

572

People are just

overwhelmed with grief and.

573

And you add as going back to an

earlier part of our conversation,

574

you take grief, you add surprise.

575

And it's bad.

576

Absolutely.

577

No.

578

So that element of surprise.

579

So Erica, to answer your

question, you know, when people

580

start thinking about this.

581

Most lawyers who do this work

have a worksheet that will sort

582

of guide you through the things

that you need to think about.

583

But generally you need to think about

who do you want to make decisions for you

584

when you can't make them for yourself?

585

So in incapacity, who would you want to

make your healthcare decisions for you?

586

And then who is the backup to that person?

587

Because the person that you probably

want to make the decisions for you

588

is probably the person that you

drive around 2 85 with, in a car.

589

Come back ups.

590

Yeah.

591

So who, who, who is going

to carry out your wishes?

592

And do, do what you want to

do, show up and make those

593

hard decisions for healthcare.

594

How many backups.

595

I would say, at least one,

preferably two backups.

596

So you've had three people and you

want to make sure that somebody

597

is kind of younger and healthier.

598

So if you're 75, you don't

want to name a bunch of your

599

contemporaries who might go before.

600

So, yeah.

601

Okay, cool.

602

You want somebody younger?

603

, and then for finances, if you can't

pay your bills because you're in a

604

coma, who's going to come in and open

your mail and make sure that insurance

605

premiums get paid and employees get paid.

606

And.

607

, all that.

608

And then once you're gone, who is

going to close up the business of

609

your life and that's everything

from making sure that your pets.

610

Have a good next home.

611

, I was dealing with that yesterday

and, um, that one makes me so sad.

612

That's like the only thing that

matters is like, I die before my dogs.

613

It's.

614

I think we did it, Rebecca,

where my dad gets my dogs and

615

like a check for 10 grand.

616

Yeah, that's a common one.

617

Yeah.

618

I mean most of the time

there's somebody in the family.

619

Who's very happy to take the pets.

620

Yeah.

621

My mom took my cousins.

622

Oh, nice.

623

Yeah, it's it's I mean, you know, again,

legacy those, those beings, we love so

624

much needing to make sure that their.

625

But they're taking care of that.

626

They have a place to go.

627

Oh my gosh.

628

I need a will.

629

Yes there.

630

yeah.

631

You got to take care of them.

632

So the, the sort of the, who

is going to take care of.

633

Of those things filing your last tax

return, you know, who do you trust to

634

kind of wrap up the business of your life?

635

And then, um, after your debts are paid,

Who, who do you want to benefit from?

636

Who or what organizations I should say.

637

Do you want to benefit from

those assets that you have?

638

And it can be small things like

who gets the taco bell table.

639

And leave a memo of certain

tangible property to go to survive.

640

Yep.

641

You do have a memo.

642

Because you got stuff that's right.

643

Yeah.

644

That knows.

645

I was about my memo.

646

I.

647

I got a memo to it's crazy long.

648

Um, and so there's, there's

the S you know, the, who

649

gets the, the tangible stuff.

650

And then, you know, the money.

651

Um, where you want that to go.

652

So, those are the things you gotta

kind of think about and have an idea

653

about, and, you know, A good lawyer

is going to sort of talk you through.

654

What, what do, what do other people do?

655

That's a common question I get is this.

656

Is this normal what I'm thinking of doing?

657

Yeah, sure.

658

Um, and, and then, uh, if

you're stuck, the executor will.

659

The lawyer will help you decide

like who, who should be executor.

660

A lot of people say, I have no idea.

661

Answer.

662

Okay, well, how, how

about your accountant?

663

You know, how about your best friend?

664

How about a cousin, you know, and

kind of go through the list with you.

665

So you want to do some thinking about

it in advance, and if you're a couple,

666

you want to do some talking about it

in advance because, , you don't want

667

to pay a lawyer by the hour to watch

you fight with your spouse about.

668

My sister is more responsible

and should have your kids.

669

Totally true.

670

That makes sense.

671

Rebecca what's the craziest thing that

somebody has Been very like, oh my.

672

Sand castle collection or like, whatever,

, is there anything insane or just wild

673

that somebody was very concerned with

when composing their well, oh, goodness.

674

I mean, the funniest one that I've

ever done is the husband of a friend.

675

made a specific request to his uncle

of the remaining soap that was in the

676

master shower at the time of his death.

677

Whoa.

678

He thought it was hilarious.

679

That's so funny.

680

So.

681

I like, oh my God.

682

Just imagine.

683

Oh, wow.

684

It's like put whatever you

want in these documents.

685

Like yup.

686

That's actually really fun.

687

Yeah.

688

I'm going to think of some

crazy things for my documents.

689

Oh yeah.

690

Just to have just, he thought his

uncle shared his sense of humor

691

and would think it was hilarious.

692

I thought it was really funny, too.

693

I love that.

694

I can't think of examples of things

that people have done that are,

695

, outrageous, because again, you know,

it's, as you said, it's not free.

696

So this was the husband of a friend.

697

So I think he felt like, you know, he

could ask me to do that, but yeah, I

698

mean, most of the things that people

worry about are worthy of worry.

699

That's true.

700

One thing I think people don't worry

about enough is their social media and

701

their banking accounts and all of the like

logins and passwords and things like that.

702

, And I know that's part of,

uh, what we did together.

703

Rebecca has her clients put together

what she calls an, I love you

704

folder, which is the most brilliant

thing I've ever heard, but it's.

705

well, tell us, tell us about the island.

706

Well, let me tell you

about the process and.

707

That's kind of the end of the process.

708

You know, putting, putting together a will

is a, is a pretty straightforward process.

709

So as I said, we have a

worksheet, we send it out.

710

So you can kind of gather your thoughts

and have your conversations with your

711

spouse or your partner before you come in.

712

So that you're not having a big fight.

713

Right in front of the lawyer

paying the lawyer by the hour.

714

Yep.

715

And then when you come in,

generally it takes about an hour

716

to kind of put together your plans,

flush things out, make sure that

717

everything is, uh, has been decided.

718

And then the lawyer will draft the

documents and send them to you.

719

You review them, hopefully understand

them, at least the important parts.

720

Yeah.

721

Get any questions answered or get any

tweaks and then you come in and sign them.

722

And the most common problem with wills.

723

Is that they are signed improperly.

724

So it's very important to actually finish

the process and go to your lawyer's office

725

and, and sign them, um, because wills

have to be executed with a particular

726

amount of formality, or they're not valid.

727

And people often mess up

that formality at home.

728

I'll give you a little example.

729

, if you're witnesses, you have to

have two witnesses and they have

730

to be, , uh, of a certain age.

731

And, , sort of have a certain capacity

to be able to, to be competent, to be

732

a witness, but they also have to be

uninterested, which means not that they

733

don't care about you, but that they're not

getting anything in the way or not in it.

734

Not in it.

735

And if you think about it, A lot of times

when people are doing wills it's cause

736

they're dashing off to the airport, right?

737

To go on a trip.

738

That's a common, common trigger for

wills is either airports or babies.

739

And I'm.

740

So who's standing around with you

when you're on the way to go to

741

the airport, people that are in

your will, but it's very common for

742

people to say, Ooh, Will you quickly,

you know, witness this for me?

743

Well, the law is something very sneaky.

744

If you have someone who is interested

as a witness to the will, if I did that,

745

for instance, the law says what we want

Rebecca to have a valid will, and we need

746

her to have two uninterested witnesses.

747

So what we're going to do is we're just

going to cut out the part in the will,

748

where she says, I leave $10,000 to Erica.

749

So then, so then.

750

Witnesses don't get anything.

751

You've disinherited, the people that

you were trying to leave things to.

752

So.

753

To have your will.

754

Zoe to properly.

755

Really.

756

So it has, it happens with wow.

757

Alarming frequency.

758

So that is.

759

It's important than I've ever learned.

760

That's like, that's really insane.

761

Yeah.

762

Yeah.

763

So it's, it's very important to go back

to the lawyer's office and have the will

764

executed properly because it's really

easy to make a mistake and it's important.

765

And then after you have the will executed,

you sort of tie up all the loose ends.

766

So one of the things is making sure that

all of your beneficiary designations,

767

like if you have life insurance or

retirement plans, that all those

768

things work with your estate plan.

769

So if for instance, I have my husband

as the beneficiary of my life insurance.

770

And then he leaves me

and I write a new will.

771

And I say, I can't stand that scumbag.

772

, he's cut out of the will, but

I don't change the beneficiary

773

on my life insurance.

774

They have to pay my husband because

I have a contract with them.

775

That says that he is the beneficiary.

776

So it's just so.

777

Were important to have

those things updated.

778

So you come back and we make

sure all those things are done.

779

And then.

780

We send you off with a folder that

sort of holds the original documents.

781

It's very important to keep

track of the originals.

782

Another fun fact is if, uh, to

revoke a will, you can just do a

783

new will or you can just destroy a

well by burning it or ripping it up.

784

It's not like a contract

between two people.

785

It's just your will.

786

So if you don't like it

anymore, you can rip it up.

787

So if you die and nobody

can find the original it's

788

presumed that you ripped it up.

789

And then your family has to prove.

790

Didn't revoke it.

791

And so it's really important.

792

, Erica, you better know

where your original is.

793

I know exactly where to get

good, but you also have a copy.

794

Right.

795

So people know that like you're my

person and they can't find my folder.

796

They could be like, oh, we'll ask Rebecca.

797

Yep.

798

But then we've still got to go

through the process of, we then

799

have a copy of it, but we've got

to prove that you didn't revoke it.

800

Ooh, right.

801

So we pull out this podcast and

just be like, no, Erica wasn't

802

saying she was going to revoke it.

803

She said she had a valid will.

804

Yeah.

805

But it's important to have the original.

806

So we talk about.

807

You're going to keep the

original, like what if like your

808

house burns down or something?

809

Burns down.

810

It's a little easier to prove that

you probably didn't revoke it.

811

I guess that I actually had a

client who did die in a house fire.

812

Yeah.

813

And their house burned down.

814

And their will was in there.

815

There will actually happen to

be in their wife's purse, but.

816

Oh, it had, I would never leave.

817

Oh, look, the we'll just have.

818

No, no, there was no funny business.

819

Actually.

820

It was a very sad story, but.

821

And in the purse.

822

They had just been updating it

and she was on the way to take

823

it to the safe deposit box.

824

Serious.

825

Oh, so people should

put in a safety deposit.

826

People should not put her in a safe.

827

Oh, You were just saying that.

828

She was on her way to put it

in the safety deposit box.

829

It was not at Rebecca's behest.

830

Yeah.

831

I mean, it is okay.

832

If you have a safe deposit box, you

need to pay attention to who can get in.

833

Yeah.

834

Because if you are the only person on your

safe deposit box or you and your spouse,

835

My plane goes down and you're together.

836

, nobody can get in your safe

deposit box without a court order

837

to open the safe deposit box.

838

And they may not even know

where your safe deposit box was.

839

Then you would get a court order.

840

We would, yeah, we would get a court

order to open a safe deposit box, but

841

we have to know what bank it's at.

842

Yeah.

843

And again, it's just,

it's, it's difficult.

844

Uh, and, and there, there have been

some pretty interesting articles

845

about with bank consolidations,

branch, consolidations, and closings.

846

How safe deposit box.

847

This is our safe deposit boxes.

848

Aren't as safe as you

would think they would be.

849

Ooh.

850

Your branch closes.

851

They combine it with another branch

that the numbers are all doubled up.

852

Oh.

853

You know, and people lost watch

collections and things like that.

854

So, so it's very important

where you put your well.

855

It is a very important yeah.

856

Document.

857

Yeah.

858

I just got my first important document,

which was my marriage certificate.

859

It's in this.

860

I have like this.

861

It's so embarrassing.

862

I have this folder thing.

863

What do you call it?

864

What do you call it?

865

File organizer.

866

Yeah, but it's small.

867

It's like metal it's it's small

and just it's under dossier.

868

I have this like glass.

869

Desk.

870

And it's just socks under it.

871

It's not, no, it's okay.

872

It's literally from target.

873

It's like, it goes on a top of the desk,

but it's underneath my desk and it has

874

all of my important documents in it.

875

And that's where.

876

Yeah, no, it definitely is.

877

So well, I would say that's good

because a lot of people, if you said,

878

where's your marriage license, they

would say I have absolutely no idea.

879

So the fact that you know where

it is, you're two steps ahead.

880

Yeah.

881

Salad.

882

Yeah.

883

At least have that.

884

Absolutely.

885

And I think that's fine.

886

I mean, I, my will is actually on,

on my credenza at work right now.

887

I'm traveling tomorrow.

888

I always leave my will out when I travel.

889

I'm aware that well, I didn't know.

890

That was a thing.

891

I don't think it is a thing.

892

I think it's a me thing.

893

I don't think it's a thing thing.

894

Where are you going tomorrow?

895

Visit my parents.

896

Oh, okay.

897

Okay.

898

Wow.

899

Oh, I'm a big fan of the at-home safe.

900

Yeah.

901

Like a little at-home safe.

902

Somebody's got to know the combination.

903

So it can't be a fingerprint safe.

904

, not unless you plan on dying right

by it so they can pull your finger.

905

Yeah, I think the fingerprints

saves have a backup way to get in.

906

Okay.

907

, but yeah, just, uh, gosh, this is I'm like

I need a will first off the second way.

908

I need a place to put my well.

909

Like so concerned now.

910

There you go, oh my gosh.

911

Kelly's literally.

912

All right, I'm going to,

I'm going to call you up.

913

All right.

914

You can get a, , safe from target, so you

don't have to change your shopping habits.

915

I love it.

916

Yeah.

917

Yeah.

918

So you got to keep the original, but back

to Erica's question, , in terms of, you

919

know, you want to leave information for

your executor, so they know who to call,

920

so they know who your life insurance

agent is, and they know who your banker

921

is, and they know where your car loan

is and they know important passwords.

922

So.

923

You know, it used to be that, it

was never, ever write down your

924

passwords and that's not really.

925

That's, that's not really the approach

that people use anymore when people

926

are not stealing handwritten passwords.

927

America, right.

928

That's just not how it is.

929

Yeah.

930

, I don't think that, you know, bank

passwords and Georgia power passwords

931

and all that, I don't think it's so

necessary to have a record of those.

932

You change them all the time.

933

People can tell where your money

is and where your bills are, but

934

opening your mail and your wallet.

935

The thing that you want to make sure

people have passwords to are things online

936

that have value that aren't replaceable.

937

So for instance, all your

photos are in the cloud.

938

And nobody is able to get to them.

939

, without a password, you

want to think about that?

940

Who would you want to share that with?

941

And a lot of social media, Facebook

in particular have, , places

942

where you can put, , who you want

to like Facebook in particular.

943

I can't remember what

it's called right now.

944

Yeah.

945

I caught a backup account.

946

I think it's called.

947

Admin.

948

I don't even think it's called admin,

but the person who can make your final

949

post about where your Memorial services.

950

And then memorialize your page

and change you to deceased.

951

Okay.

952

So they have like a.

953

And they cannot accept friend requests.

954

There there's some limits

on what they can do.

955

They have to be a Facebook member.

956

So like mine, my husband

isn't on Facebook.

957

So mine is my sister.

958

Okay.

959

And she can make a final post and she

can change the page to a Memorial page.

960

And then order, you can like order

a book with all your Facebook posts.

961

Oh God.

962

Me at 18 years.

963

I was like, you don't want those.

964

Oh, God.

965

Sounds fun.

966

Make me your person.

967

Oh, my God.

968

That's so funny.

969

So many old pictures there that.

970

Thank God.

971

I'm dead.

972

And.

973

Yeah, well, Pick your

person carefully, right?

974

Because that's your know your question

was about social media and those, whoever

975

is that person for you kind of controls

what happens with your social media.

976

So, I mean, Erica, now with this

podcast, you need to think about this

977

intellectual property that you own.

978

Of this podcast and what you

would want to happen with it.

979

, after you died time for we'll update.

980

I was going to say time to update.

981

Okay.

982

I did have a question actually.

983

My question . Was, , do him and I

have separate Wells or is it one will.

984

I like no.

985

But like, okay.

986

We have shared things

like now that we're yeah.

987

Yeah, that's a great question

because we just got married.

988

I literally have no idea.

989

Yeah.

990

How this works.

991

Yeah, you're about to find out.

992

Yeah.

993

So you, the answer is

everybody has their own will.

994

And you control the things that

are in your name and he controls

995

the things that are in his name.

996

Okay.

997

And if you own something 50,

50, you control half of it

998

and he controls half of it.

999

Okay.

00:37:36,374 --> 00:37:36,734

Yep.

00:37:37,064 --> 00:37:39,074

So it's, it's interesting.

00:37:39,134 --> 00:37:42,944

You can plan together, but how

things are titled makes a difference.

00:37:43,034 --> 00:37:43,394

Okay.

00:37:43,484 --> 00:37:46,214

And all states that are not

community property states.

00:37:46,454 --> 00:37:48,464

The west coast states are a

little bit different, right?

00:37:48,524 --> 00:37:48,644

Because.

00:37:48,944 --> 00:37:53,294

Like let's say, uh, like the person

who decides your fate after an

00:37:53,294 --> 00:37:54,734

accident or something like that.

00:37:54,784 --> 00:37:56,014

Like if we're married.

00:37:56,314 --> 00:37:56,734

Yeah.

00:37:56,794 --> 00:37:58,174

They would have to be two separate.

00:37:58,834 --> 00:37:59,074

Yeah.

00:37:59,104 --> 00:38:00,904

So you name him as your primary.

00:38:00,904 --> 00:38:02,434

If you trust him to make those decisions.

00:38:02,464 --> 00:38:05,374

Then you name your mom or your sister

or your best friend is your backup.

00:38:05,764 --> 00:38:10,624

And he names his mom or dad or

brother best friend is his backup.

00:38:10,984 --> 00:38:12,034

So you have separate people.

00:38:12,064 --> 00:38:13,144

But they'd have to work together.

00:38:13,144 --> 00:38:15,484

If you guys died together,

she has to be dying together

00:38:15,514 --> 00:38:17,104

pretty slim, but yeah, what's.

00:38:17,164 --> 00:38:17,854

That's so cute.

00:38:19,294 --> 00:38:19,564

No.

00:38:19,564 --> 00:38:19,804

Thank you.

00:38:22,624 --> 00:38:23,104

Yeah.

00:38:23,284 --> 00:38:24,334

It's pretty unlikely.

00:38:24,334 --> 00:38:24,934

So, yeah.

00:38:24,934 --> 00:38:28,084

And then, , if, and when you have

kids that adds a whole nother element.

00:38:28,564 --> 00:38:29,704

And you've got to decide.

00:38:29,974 --> 00:38:35,344

This is, I think what stops most people

from doing a will is not knowing who

00:38:35,344 --> 00:38:37,174

to name as guardian for their kids.

00:38:37,744 --> 00:38:40,414

And what I tell people

is to just pick somebody.

00:38:40,444 --> 00:38:42,094

You can always change it later.

00:38:42,544 --> 00:38:44,164

We make all our money off changing wheels.

00:38:44,164 --> 00:38:47,164

So you can change your mind as many

times as you want, ask them first.

00:38:48,244 --> 00:38:51,004

So I'd like, that would

be such a surprise.

00:38:51,034 --> 00:38:53,674

Often does that happen where

it's like without their consent?

00:38:53,704 --> 00:38:54,004

Yeah.

00:38:54,034 --> 00:38:56,764

Got a letter that it's like, oh

little, Timmy's coming down with ya.

00:38:56,854 --> 00:38:59,134

And, well, I don't know

how often that happens.

00:38:59,144 --> 00:39:00,524

I've never had to deliver that news.

00:39:00,524 --> 00:39:03,464

I mean, it's so unlikely

that both parents die before.

00:39:04,964 --> 00:39:07,754

It does happen sometimes,

but it's pretty rare.

00:39:08,104 --> 00:39:10,984

, and you know, sometimes people talk to.

00:39:11,434 --> 00:39:12,214

, folks about it.

00:39:12,214 --> 00:39:16,054

And sometimes they don't, they know

that their sister would take the kids.

00:39:16,054 --> 00:39:21,904

And a lot of times people's fear is, is

that if they tell the people that they've

00:39:21,904 --> 00:39:26,344

named as guardian, that the people who

weren't selected will be very offended.

00:39:26,794 --> 00:39:30,154

And so they're kind of hoping that

like their mom never finds out

00:39:30,214 --> 00:39:31,564

that they named their in-laws.

00:39:33,004 --> 00:39:35,734

And so they don't want to tell the

in-laws cause they don't want to chance

00:39:35,764 --> 00:39:36,724

that it comes back to their mouth.

00:39:38,764 --> 00:39:41,104

What happens a lot is they name a sibling.

00:39:41,194 --> 00:39:44,074

Then they spend the holidays with

that sibling and then they think.

00:39:44,824 --> 00:39:46,264

I think we need to name

a different siblings.

00:39:46,354 --> 00:39:49,294

So they want to be, they want

to feel free to change it.

00:39:49,294 --> 00:39:51,274

And you kind of can't if

you've already asked them.

00:39:51,304 --> 00:39:51,694

I gosh.

00:39:51,754 --> 00:39:52,894

Yeah, that makes sense.

00:39:53,374 --> 00:39:53,554

Yeah.

00:39:53,614 --> 00:39:55,984

In January, we do a lot

of changing of guardians.

00:39:56,734 --> 00:39:57,934

It happened over Christmas?

00:39:57,964 --> 00:39:59,014

No way.

00:39:59,254 --> 00:39:59,974

That makes sense.

00:40:00,004 --> 00:40:00,934

Tensions are high.

00:40:01,414 --> 00:40:05,254

I feel like that's such a big

decision that it's like, , What,

00:40:05,254 --> 00:40:06,544

what really can happen.

00:40:06,874 --> 00:40:08,284

I don't even know what I'm trying to say.

00:40:08,644 --> 00:40:12,634

It's how people handle money, you

know, and just thinking, watch

00:40:12,634 --> 00:40:16,594

someone else's family deal with

holidays, with presence or whatever.

00:40:16,594 --> 00:40:20,524

And, and you think, you know, we

give our child one educational gift

00:40:20,524 --> 00:40:22,594

and they went crazy and there was.

00:40:22,624 --> 00:40:23,464

Fantastic.

00:40:23,644 --> 00:40:24,604

Everywhere.

00:40:25,144 --> 00:40:26,674

I know who I would name already.

00:40:26,764 --> 00:40:28,894

I don't even have kids, but I

already know who I would name.

00:40:29,314 --> 00:40:31,204

Does your husband have the same ID?

00:40:31,774 --> 00:40:33,004

Oh, I bet he does.

00:40:33,424 --> 00:40:35,824

I mean, I haven't asked him,

we haven't talked about this.

00:40:35,824 --> 00:40:39,304

Obviously we don't have kids, but

I bet he would say the same person.

00:40:39,424 --> 00:40:40,204

Oh, okay.

00:40:40,264 --> 00:40:40,714

Awesome.

00:40:41,014 --> 00:40:42,694

I need a, I'm going to experiment.

00:40:42,754 --> 00:40:43,744

I'm going to ask him.

00:40:43,924 --> 00:40:44,164

Okay.

00:40:44,224 --> 00:40:45,394

When I get home and I'll text you.

00:40:45,994 --> 00:40:46,954

Yeah, I want to know.

00:40:47,974 --> 00:40:49,924

Yeah, but I think we have the same answer.

00:40:50,044 --> 00:40:50,494

Okay.

00:40:50,524 --> 00:40:52,564

Well, and I don't think

that answer would change.

00:40:53,074 --> 00:40:54,994

That's kind of an, if we

fought with that person, I'd be

00:40:54,994 --> 00:40:56,014

like, ah, Oh, no, that's fine.

00:40:56,284 --> 00:40:56,674

Yeah.

00:40:56,884 --> 00:40:59,794

Well, I think too, , it's really

easy to get caught up on the

00:40:59,794 --> 00:41:01,384

minutia and details of all of this.

00:41:01,744 --> 00:41:04,654

And I find myself getting a little

overwhelmed, making some of these

00:41:04,654 --> 00:41:08,144

decisions, because it's hard when

you're not married and it's like, I

00:41:08,144 --> 00:41:09,944

had to kind of, you know, freestyle.

00:41:10,364 --> 00:41:12,044

Much more complicated actually.

00:41:12,104 --> 00:41:12,644

Yeah.

00:41:12,704 --> 00:41:15,104

, and so I found it a little stressful

and then ultimately I was like,

00:41:15,134 --> 00:41:15,974

oh, what the fuck do I care?

00:41:15,974 --> 00:41:16,694

I'm going to be dead.

00:41:16,694 --> 00:41:19,574

Like, I'm going to do my absolute

best to make whoever has to

00:41:19,574 --> 00:41:20,594

deal with this afterwards.

00:41:20,594 --> 00:41:24,314

Have an easy time, but

ultimately not on me.

00:41:24,554 --> 00:41:24,944

Yeah.

00:41:25,544 --> 00:41:27,584

And so that was a little

like, just like, all right.

00:41:28,184 --> 00:41:28,634

Yeah.

00:41:29,564 --> 00:41:31,424

Well, I mean, yeah, exactly.

00:41:31,424 --> 00:41:34,544

I'll tell you that, you know,

this year, one of the joys that I

00:41:34,544 --> 00:41:38,394

had, , in the face of death was, , an

estate where I'm the executor.

00:41:38,424 --> 00:41:40,774

The, , guy was unmarried

and didn't have children.

00:41:40,774 --> 00:41:43,744

And again, people sometimes say,

oh, I have a simple situation.

00:41:43,744 --> 00:41:44,164

I'm not married.

00:41:44,194 --> 00:41:44,974

I don't know how many kids know.

00:41:45,004 --> 00:41:45,904

That's more complicated.

00:41:46,114 --> 00:41:47,344

If you're married and you have kids.

00:41:48,004 --> 00:41:49,804

I know why you're going

to leave your assets.

00:41:49,924 --> 00:41:50,734

Yeah.

00:41:50,794 --> 00:41:54,954

You're unmarried and, , and not, not

partnered up and don't have kids.

00:41:54,984 --> 00:41:57,594

Then the world is your oyster in terms

of who you're gonna leave things to.

00:41:57,594 --> 00:42:00,174

And this, this guy left a

lot of money to charity.

00:42:00,624 --> 00:42:02,784

A huge amount of money to

charity the bulk of his estate.

00:42:03,054 --> 00:42:06,414

But he, , he left a lot of

people, a lot of friends.

00:42:07,044 --> 00:42:08,844

In the neighborhood of $5,000.

00:42:08,964 --> 00:42:09,504

I love that.

00:42:09,804 --> 00:42:10,614

Well, it was interesting.

00:42:10,794 --> 00:42:14,724

I thought, I thought that they might,

they knew how wealthy he was and I

00:42:14,724 --> 00:42:16,314

thought they might be a little offended.

00:42:16,314 --> 00:42:22,354

So when I called them to tell them, I was

sort of bracing for some hurt feelings.

00:42:22,414 --> 00:42:22,684

Okay.

00:42:22,734 --> 00:42:25,044

, because this guy did have a lot of money.

00:42:25,614 --> 00:42:28,314

People were so touched.

00:42:28,764 --> 00:42:29,274

I mean, yeah.

00:42:29,334 --> 00:42:31,134

One woman burst into tears.

00:42:31,134 --> 00:42:32,154

It's very rare.

00:42:32,154 --> 00:42:36,204

I feel like it to be named in someone's

well, when you're not a family member.

00:42:36,234 --> 00:42:37,134

Yeah, yeah.

00:42:37,194 --> 00:42:39,204

So I bet anyone would

be so touched in that.

00:42:39,264 --> 00:42:39,384

Yeah.

00:42:40,464 --> 00:42:41,364

Huge impact on me.

00:42:41,364 --> 00:42:43,854

I was like, Ooh, I want to go

back and add a lot of $5,000.

00:42:44,934 --> 00:42:49,104

It just, it, it, it meant so much

to the people who received those

00:42:49,104 --> 00:42:53,034

bequests and I just thought, wow,

, that was very eye opening for me.

00:42:53,094 --> 00:42:53,604

Yeah, no.

00:42:53,634 --> 00:42:57,654

In terms of the difference that, that

you can just tell and, and, and, and

00:42:57,714 --> 00:43:01,434

remembering somebody and honoring

your friendship with the person.

00:43:01,494 --> 00:43:05,874

With a relatively, I mean, $5,000 is not

nothing, but when you're, when you're

00:43:05,934 --> 00:43:08,934

as wealthy as this guy was, it was,

it was a drop in the bucket kind of.

00:43:09,324 --> 00:43:12,294

But it meant a lot to everybody

and just as he intended it

00:43:12,294 --> 00:43:13,914

to, yeah, that's beautiful.

00:43:14,034 --> 00:43:14,754

That is beautiful,

00:43:14,854 --> 00:43:15,634

So, okay.

00:43:15,694 --> 00:43:19,354

Rebecca, we've spent a lot of time

talking about how to prepare for our

00:43:19,354 --> 00:43:23,614

death, but you're somebody who I love

the way that you prepare for life.

00:43:23,914 --> 00:43:26,134

And every year, Rebecca.

00:43:26,134 --> 00:43:29,874

Does, , uh, self retreat, a business

retreat, and you always have a

00:43:29,874 --> 00:43:31,614

theme for the year and plans.

00:43:31,644 --> 00:43:34,344

And, , I know you're going to come

in and you're going to ask me , what

00:43:34,344 --> 00:43:35,364

are your goals for the year?

00:43:35,364 --> 00:43:37,224

And so I'm like, I need to have an answer.

00:43:37,434 --> 00:43:42,324

And I feel like you're somebody who

really invites me to be extremely

00:43:42,504 --> 00:43:45,894

mindful and intentional about what

I'm trying to create in my life,

00:43:46,104 --> 00:43:50,214

whether in a couple month window,

a year, five years, whatever.

00:43:50,404 --> 00:43:51,244

, so I think.

00:43:51,244 --> 00:43:52,084

Well, I wonder.

00:43:52,084 --> 00:43:53,014

It's all coming to me right now.

00:43:53,224 --> 00:43:54,544

, you're so good at what you do.

00:43:54,544 --> 00:43:59,584

And I wonder if working with people and

watching people plan for after they die,

00:43:59,764 --> 00:44:03,724

makes it more important to you to plan

what you're doing while you're still here.

00:44:04,174 --> 00:44:05,224

Yeah, definitely.

00:44:05,254 --> 00:44:08,834

I mean, I think, you know, just

all this thought about death made

00:44:08,834 --> 00:44:10,484

me at a very young age think.

00:44:10,844 --> 00:44:12,854

I think I need to live very intentionally.

00:44:12,884 --> 00:44:15,524

You don't know how long you

have, so there are things I want

00:44:15,524 --> 00:44:16,934

to do and I'm going to do them.

00:44:16,964 --> 00:44:17,414

Yeah.

00:44:17,484 --> 00:44:23,304

, so I have always been super goal oriented

and you know, like Eric, I was single.

00:44:23,404 --> 00:44:25,774

, at, for, I got married

in my late thirties.

00:44:26,104 --> 00:44:30,694

And so I had a lot of single years

where I could do all kinds of things

00:44:30,694 --> 00:44:35,354

that, you know, aren't possible with

little kids and, , expectations at home.

00:44:35,354 --> 00:44:39,014

So traveling the world and didn't

you go to surf school in Bali?

00:44:39,104 --> 00:44:39,194

I.

00:44:40,454 --> 00:44:42,224

So I went to surfing school in Bali.

00:44:42,224 --> 00:44:45,974

I did a volunteer vacation in

Africa, traveled all over Asia.

00:44:46,064 --> 00:44:47,984

I mean, I've been all around the world.

00:44:48,554 --> 00:44:52,414

Um, been to Australia and, that was

sort of my personal itch, but whether

00:44:52,414 --> 00:44:57,364

it's travel or not, I've always been

into thinking about, you know, if it,

00:44:57,364 --> 00:45:01,864

if it all ended tomorrow, what would you

regret that you hadn't done and doing it?

00:45:01,864 --> 00:45:03,484

So like bucket list items.

00:45:04,054 --> 00:45:04,864

Kind of bucket list.

00:45:04,894 --> 00:45:07,564

I don't, I don't necessarily

like the term bucket list.

00:45:07,564 --> 00:45:09,604

Cause it seems like you're

putting it off right.

00:45:09,934 --> 00:45:10,354

Right.

00:45:10,474 --> 00:45:13,144

So like thinking about next year.

00:45:13,444 --> 00:45:14,044

You know, I think.

00:45:14,434 --> 00:45:18,064

To myself, what would make

next year, a spectacular year

00:45:18,274 --> 00:45:19,444

and work backwards from that?

00:45:19,684 --> 00:45:23,284

I don't, I don't like to think too

far out because I want to be prepared

00:45:23,284 --> 00:45:25,024

for happy surprises and changes.

00:45:25,024 --> 00:45:26,254

Of course, that come my way.

00:45:26,254 --> 00:45:30,064

But you know, just thinking about

next year and thinking, okay, Next

00:45:30,064 --> 00:45:33,064

year, knowing what I know what's

going to make next year spectacular.

00:45:33,154 --> 00:45:35,284

And then working back, how

can I make that happen?

00:45:35,374 --> 00:45:37,114

What is it that I want to

do to make that happen?

00:45:37,114 --> 00:45:38,644

And sort of all areas of my life.

00:45:38,644 --> 00:45:43,074

So I've been very interested in

strategic planning, the corporate

00:45:43,074 --> 00:45:44,634

strategic planning for a long time.

00:45:44,994 --> 00:45:49,374

And I developed a program on personal

strategic planning that I've done a

00:45:49,374 --> 00:45:53,574

bunch of times for leadership programs,

where you sort of create the vision for

00:45:53,574 --> 00:45:55,404

your life and then work backwards on.

00:45:55,884 --> 00:45:59,574

Where you need to put your energy in

order to get to that vision that you have?

00:45:59,604 --> 00:46:00,234

Yes.

00:46:00,594 --> 00:46:04,464

I think it's really easy

for people to watch others.

00:46:05,004 --> 00:46:06,984

Living their dreams and being successful.

00:46:06,984 --> 00:46:08,394

And I don't mean that financially.

00:46:08,394 --> 00:46:12,504

I mean, whatever success means to you

and it's easy to be like, oh look.

00:46:12,534 --> 00:46:13,914

They're on vacation again.

00:46:13,944 --> 00:46:15,354

Oh, they're eating this meal again.

00:46:15,384 --> 00:46:16,614

Oh, they bought this new house.

00:46:16,974 --> 00:46:17,604

But.

00:46:18,324 --> 00:46:19,794

So many people wait.

00:46:19,794 --> 00:46:22,914

To do these things that they want to do,

or they have these pie in the sky dreams.

00:46:22,914 --> 00:46:26,724

They're like, oh, it'd be really nice

if, but they don't even take the time

00:46:26,724 --> 00:46:28,254

to think, well, how do I get there?

00:46:28,494 --> 00:46:31,044

And you're so right about

reverse engineering.

00:46:31,554 --> 00:46:32,034

Yeah show.

00:46:32,064 --> 00:46:34,404

Show me, show me your calendar

for this month and I'll tell

00:46:34,404 --> 00:46:35,274

you what's important to you.

00:46:35,514 --> 00:46:37,404