The episode unfolds within the vibrant walls of a tavern, where an eclectic group of characters embarks on a whimsical yet foreboding adventure. The narrative commences with a light-hearted yet ominous chant, as the heroes gather, raising their ales in camaraderie. However, as the jovial atmosphere morphs into something more sinister, the discussion reveals the complexities of their interactions and the unexpected turns their quest might take. One member, Dante, shares a shocking revelation of having unwittingly joined a cult that seeks to summon a figure termed the 'Harbinger of Rot.' This revelation not only escalates the tension among the tavern-goers but also introduces a thematic exploration of the blurred lines between friendship and manipulation. As the characters engage in banter that oscillates between humor and horror, the episode deftly examines the inherent risks of camaraderie in a world where trust can lead to unforeseen calamities, encapsulating the essence of adventure in a whimsical yet cautionary tale.

Companies mentioned in this episode:

• Reps and Respawn
• Demoness to Impress
• Good Times Mead
• Fireball Figurines
• Mythical Meats
• Beard Sorcery
• Magni Craft Works
• Wicked Goblin Merchandise

Roll the dice, raise the ale Heroes gather, tell the tale Chat tat Monday the quest's begun not ones fly, but we still run Mud's up high Let legends come welcome into chants one and.

Are you okay?

I came here to steal some, but you're kind of freaking me out.

I thought you were supposed to drink paint before doing like that.

Oh, what's up, guys?

What are you guys doing here?

Of course the unspeakent Tea drinker would recommend painting.

We.

We do.

Come on.

Now, hold.

Hold the tavern brawl for a second.

We gotta figure out what the fuck just happened.

What do you mean?

Oh, you mean the chanting and the weird candles and weird demonic stuff?

No, we need the green cloak.

Look at your face.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

The.

The weird cult mask.

So you remember when you guys made me close the other night by myself?

Yeah.

Which you've done a couple times.

Okay, so this last time was a bad time to leave me alone.

When I was closing up and putting the chairs up, a group of friendly people came up and asked me if I wanted to go play a game that involved dragons and dungeons and some dice.

And I thought it was a great time.

I finished closing up, I headed with them to this cool bioluminescent cave thing.

I thought we were going to play a game.

Turns out it was a cult.

I was too embarrassed to leave, so I sat through the meeting.

And push comes to shove, I guess I am in a cult now.

That is bringing back somebody called the Harbinger of Rot.

Oh, shit.

You were at the cave?

I was at the cave, yeah.

God damn it, Dante, you fucking would.

Yeah.

So, long story short, once a month we meet, we talk about the last meetings, minutes, we.

Human sacrifice.

There's cookies at the end.

They're pretty good.

Last time, that brand you got on your ass.

And it may or may not be of my face, I don't know if you've checked it out.

They tr.

Yeah, when they brought the brand out, I told them if.

If the brand was hypoallergenic, and they said no.

So I told him I couldn't get it, So I just didn't get it.

You're out of the.

Wait.

The brand wasn't required.

I think it might have been, but if you told him that you're allergic to it like I did, you don't.

So they gave me a cool skull mask.

I think this might be somebody's face somewhere.

And they gave me a cool cloak.

That's pretty cool.

Carol did bring oatmeal raisin last time, and she kind of fucked up the vibe, but fingers crossed.

Peanut butter next time.

But, yeah, apparently I am in a doomsday cult.

And then our members are allergic to nuts.

You got to be careful.

That's fair.

And that's why.

1.

Yes, I'm gonna hold.

I'm gonna hold your hand when I say this, Rudy.

Okay, whoever told you the green cloak was cool, they lied to you.

Well, you drink ice cream iced tea, so I don't believe what you're saying.

Bilbo Baggins from Wish.

That is a high praise, actually.

Thank you.

Well, just saying.

I.

While you were doing that, I was learning how to steal, and they gave me these cool things and I took your coin, so.

Yeah, that's a mindstyle.

I don't know whose coin that is, because I got mine right here.

It came out of my wallet.

Ew.

You might want to watch that.

I need a bleach.

What do you guys do here where we're supposed to be closed?

What is that?

Is that.

Oh, hey.

Hey, Lilith.

What are you guys doing here?

Happy hour.

I've been more close, but.

Oh, the Siren 8 thing today.

Yeah.

Ah, sorry, guys.

Give me a minute.

Let me get.

Let me get comfy.

Let me.

Oh,.

I don't know where my glasses went.

So he's gonna be.

Would you be mine?

Would you be mine, my neighbor.

Oh, sorry, were you looking for.

Oh, I don't know whose these are then.

Oh, all right, I'm ready, guys.

Sorry, I'm keeping the cloak on, though.

It's pretty cool.

I want to Clorox your hands a.

Little bit after that.

Oh.

Oh, geez.

So I already did mine.

All right, so let's roll into this, guys.

Hey, hey, hey, Kaylee.

For the people that haven't heard you guys, or they've heard of the past episode and they're coming back for this.

You guys want to let them know who you are and what you do over on Instagram?

Sure, yeah.

I'm Lilith.

My Instagram handle is Demoness to Impress.

I do a lot of D and D related skits, commentary, that kind of thing.

I also do a lot of cosplay, which is short for costume play.

Essentially, I dress up in silly little outfits, doing silly little things, being silly little characters, stuff like that.

Yeah, I'm just your resident theater kid who took things a little too far.

But we have a lot of fun and shenanigans over on Instagram.

TikTok all the places.

Hell yeah.

I'm Kayleigh.

I'm also known as Reps and respawns on YouTube, TikTok and Instagram.

I have a hodgepodge channel where I do a bunch of video gameplay playthroughs, D and D related comedy skits.

And I'm also a competitive powerlifter, so I throw a bunch of that stuff on there as well.

I call myself the Half Elf Powerlifter.

And if you couldn't tell my favorite D and D race is anything that has to do with an elf, because I'm hopeless.

And I fell in love with Legolas when I was little.

Also, I have a business where I make my own TTRPG dice and TTR dice earrings and accessories.

So you like Alice, but you're hating on his green cloak.

Seems a little off there.

That's backwards.

Isn't that Legolas?

Exactly.

Does he slide down the stairs using an orc's dead carcass as a surfboard while he, you know.

But I am Legolas.

I haven't had a Lego since I was a child.

That is a fair point.

I think we're all little Legolas here.

Speak to yourself.

They slide downstairs.

I was like, I don't know.

C.J.

Fell down him.

Yeah, yeah.

I don't know about sliding.

I can do that.

Just get a bow and you're fine.

He's like, I fell in love with legless ones shells.

Like as we all did.

Hold on, I'm gonna.

I can make a bow on my dice bag.

Oh, that helps.

Kind of maybe.

Wait, hold on.

Come here.

Come on, snuggle up.

There we go.

How are you guys?

Well, he does that.

How are you guys feeling going into this?

Wonderful.

You guys are our second episode.

And for the listeners, if you guys go back, you can hear the first episode where we that where we had Mr. Coffee Horse from Coffee and DND and Mac from Coffee and D D go head to head in a fierce competition where Mac came out on top of.

So whoever wins this will be playing against Mac in the semifinals.

Me.

Oh.

But I'm very delirious right now.

So we will see how this goes.

I don't know.

I feel like she's been studying.

How much study have you guys been doing prepping into this?

I'm not gonna comment because if I comment then it's going to jinx me.

And I'm known for jinxing myself.

So I'm not gonna fuck this up before it starts.

That's a fair point.

I appreciate a smart competitor, so I won't say none of that.

I have been studying a little bit more mentality wise.

So the fun thing here is for this season, our beautiful Dante had the great idea to.

Instead of playing four games that we always run for seasons one, two, and.

Three, we're gonna use switchblades.

Yeah.

Fight.

No, we actually have 12 games that we're playing.

That's why you start off with a D12, but every time we play around or a session, we drop it down by two.

So it started at 12, and then after Mac and coffee, you guys are rolling a D10.

Okay.

So super exciting.

All right, so this is.

I think it's super cool.

Cuz I've been seeing just kind of Lilith, I've been seeing you post the, like, week leading up to this.

I was like a lot of competitive.

Lot of competitive trash talk.

I like it.

I'm very excited.

Having fun, getting out there, meeting new people, connecting.

And just know that this is a fight in community, but this is also a fight.

Fuck.

What kind of friendly toddler Friendly kum.

You think I'm running here?

Nah, that we fighting.

Bring out the switchblades.

Pocket sand.

I cast fireball.

Oh, my God.

Out the gate.

Out the gate.

Off.

Rip off the rip.

Oh, I forgot to ask how big the room is?

Very big.

We have insurance on the tavern, correct?

Yeah.

Let's just say the current room you're in is big enough for four people and there's two of you in there.

I cast sacred flame.

That's too late.

DC14 Wisdom Save.

So you light yourselves on fire and then you cast this spell?

Yes.

Well, it's closing time at the tavern now.

If it wasn't closing time before, it is now.

Building up to this.

I have been spamming that Michael Jackson eating popcorn meme because I was like, I'm just watching.

I was waiting for a response or something.

I was like, come on.

So it's super cool to see like this because I.

This has always been something like I thought would be cool to do and it's.

We finally got to go and it took us a little bit, but we finally got it going.

Yeah.

Logistics have been very, very interesting, I'm sure.

Yeah.

So just when we were like rolling up the, like, the idea for this and like the competitors and all that, you guys are always like two of the ones that we knew we wanted to have in this.

And we put you guys on like, we put all the competitors on a little.

I like my cloak.

It's real cool.

All right.

It's like this little circle thing and it kind of.

Cj, what is it called?

Just a wheel.

A spinning wheel of Doom.

A wheel with every.

Yeah, the Wheel of Doom.

We put everybody's name on it, and when it landed on YouTube, guys, I was like, that's gonna be one of my favorite matches.

Like, off the rip.

It's gonna be great because we're awesome.

That's why.

All right, Dante, pot it down.

So we have both of them loose.

Keep on keeping on last.

Sabotage them so they both lose.

I have Mac winning this tournament.

That's hateful.

First round.

So your bracket's about to be spent.

That's fine.

I'll jump them straight to the finals.

Oh, there will be no cheating in this tavern.

So have you.

Have you guys been anticipating this?

How you guys been feeling?

Going up to this?

A little bit.

Little nervous.

You guys good?

No comment.

If I lose after all this shit talk, I'm gonna be so embarrassed.

Like, I'm burning this place down with everybody inside.

If I lose, I'm.

I can't.

It's not an option.

I run on spite.

So if I lose, like, I'm coming back for round two.

And I'm.

I'm.

She's like, I'm coming back season five.

With a Molotov in her back pocket.

With a beach towel for a fuse.

You hear that, Kaylee?

She said Legolas sucks.

Oh, wow.

You can say a lot of things.

You could put so much words in my mouth, but not those words.

Anything but that.

You can say that I hate Rudy, but you're not saying anything about Lego List.

You join one cult, you get picked on.

This is crazy.

Don't say a word about Daddy Leggy.

Isn't that a horror movie?

Flip it.

That's a new sound.

That's a new sound.

We're playing the sound.

I'll save that for the soundboard.

That's terrible.

Okay, so as you've both been on the show before, you know, this is usually the part where we cut to a new segment beforehand.

Unfortunately, we could not pay the insurance on Dante's premium to get him out in the field safely.

The Colts, that.

They'll cover that for the next season, but unfortunately, we are not doing that this season.

So this is the segment.

We're going to give you guys a chance to do a quick little trash talk to each other.

Friendly, friendly trash talk.

I saw.

Yeah, I saw the.

I saw.

Kaylee's eyes just widen there.

We're doing friendly trash talk here.

I'm a. I'm a people pleaser.

I'm not good at confrontation.

It's okay.

Trash talk can be pleasing to some people.

Oh, God, Yeah, we'll do some trash talk.

That kind of pleasing.

Just some people enjoy drama.

That's all I'm saying.

Call me Phil.

Listen, I know, I know I'm the underdog here.

I think you outrank me in all the different stats, strength, decks, constitution.

I'm getting over the flu.

Charisma, wisdom, Lord knows, but that's it.

But I got a luck die somewhere around here.

I got a lot of spirit spending.

That luck pointing a couple of textbooks.

I know some spells, Roll some dice,.

They might hit.

Oh, does.

Does a two hit?

Sure.

What's your AC3?

I have the power to do that, but sure, two and a half.

If it meets it beats.

Okay.

I don't know what that was, but all right, good enough.

We'll take it.

All right, so what we're we're gonna be doing here is I need you guys to call even or odds.

I'm gonna roll a D20 and then we're gonna see who gets to roll for their game first.

I don't know who yelled what, What?

I'm even.

Kaylee's odds.

Okay, cool.

I'm gonna be rolling on our fantastic new.

You hear that, Kaylee?

She calls you odd.

Beautiful.

I did say that in an indirect way.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

We'll be rolling on our beautiful new DND dice.

It's Reps and Respawn is our.

Actually our sponsor for.

For this season as well.

With these wonderful collab dice we have, it's Reps and Respawn times.

Chat one and done.

There's these beautiful brown orangey yellow dice.

So we're gonna be rolling on these.

This is for the rest of the season and probably next season.

I'm gonna be.

She weighed them down.

It's all evens, it's all odds.

All right, and let's see what we get.

Do it.

No, we got a four.

Dice betrayed you.

It's evens.

All right, Lilith, go ahead and roll a D10 and Dante will be telling you what game we're going to be playing first.

Sure thing.

But in her defense, she did say she was a people pleaser, so her dice.

See, I got a three.

All right, Dante, what game is that?

This is going to be interesting.

The game is NPC Improv duel.

Oh, shoo.

Alright, so this is going to be a character driven improv battle where contestants embody absurd roles and compete through performance.

Each contestant is assigned a character and they must perform one to two minutes.

A second round may force the interaction.

So we're going to give you Some random characters.

You got to give us one to two minute spiel about your tragic backstory or what day to day shenanigans look like for you.

All right?

All righty.

So because Lilith got the role for the game, she goes first.

Yeah.

No.

Yeah.

All right, all right.

So your character is going to be a paladin with anger issues.

Give us a one to two minutes.

That's it.

I guess his name is Lil Jeffy.

Lil Jeffy.

All right, tell me when.

When.

Hello, everyone.

My name is Widdle Jeffy, and I just discovered the gods.

The gods are really great, and they're really, really helpful when I'm going around town passing out my baked goods that my mama makes at a bakery.

And they're really awesome when I'm alone in my womb thinking about my impending doom.

And furthermore, sometimes I even go in my womb and when my mommy and my daddy are fighting all the time and I'm really, really mad at the world, sometimes I look up and I look out my window and I think, I hope the gods finally smite me.

But they can't do that.

So instead, one of them offered me his very noble hand and said, take my sword and do my good work.

So I did.

And now mommy and daddy don't fight anymore.

The house is very quiet and very serene.

So thank you, gods, for I have smited all the people who have made me so very angry.

Jesus Christ.

Am I little Jeffrey?

Oh, my God.

All right, all right.

Off the.

I know it's super early in the game.

I got to give a style point for the voice because I was holding the whole time.

Yeah, we'll give you a style point on that one.

I was going to deduct it.

I was going to deduct it because they didn't sound very angry, but the end just clenched it.

Oh, thank you.

That's a goddamn emo song if I've ever heard one.

Widdle Jeffy.

Widdle Jeffy.

Jeffy, the avenging paladin.

All right, Kaylee, are you ready?

Yep.

Sure.

You are a wizard who forgot magic.

All right, 10 second time, is your name.

All right, Ready?

I mean, I went.

Let's go.

I'm supposed to do something.

No, I'm supposed to be in this battle.

It's all bright lights.

No, I can't use a sword.

I do.

I. I do something with my hands.

No, no, not that.

Get your minor fucking gun.

I do something to.

To hit to.

No, I can't stab with it.

No, I guess it blows up sometimes, but I don't fucking know how.

What's that?

A scroll.

This ain't no fucking use to me.

I can't throw it either.

Can I shoot it?

Oh,.

Okay.

But no, I can't protect myself either, can I protect you?

How?

By casting.

What?

You told me that last week.

What?

Wait, I don't remember.

What?

You.

You said I was supposed to be able to do something to help you guys, and I don't know what you want me to do.

It has nothing to do with any of these things that you guys are using, what he's using.

I don't.

There's some reason I'm here, right?

And you said it has something to do with this, but I don't think it has any thing to do with this.

And scroll has used this to me because I don't know what it says.

It can do.

What?

I'm a what?

A wizard.

You're a wizard, Harry.

I'm a what?

You're a hairy wizard.

God damn it.

God.

I just pictured an old dude, like, stumbling back and forth, ranting and raving with his hands.

They got me right here.

Wizard walking around, doing the Ricky Bobby.

The cars were real good.

Yeah, they went, like, real good.

Like, I'm sorry, I don't know what to do with my hand.

Put your hands down.

So what are we thinking?

The.

The little kid with the speech impediment or dementia Dan.

I like to think that he just doesn't know how to read.

He learns how to slightly read every week, and he forgets it.

Oh, man, they're both great.

Yeah, I gotta give it to the angry little boy.

I thought, there's an angry little boy inside all of us.

Exactly.

I just thought it was an angry big man named Bubba inside of you.

You leave Bubba out of this.

Oh, Bubba's getting in this.

Oh, I guess he's Dante's now.

Clip that.

Oh, Bubba's getting in this.

That is forever Dante.

All right, judges, what are you saying on this one?

The widdle guy?

I'm going widdle guy.

Oh, cj.

I gotta go widdle guy.

It was.

It was adorable.

Speech impediment.

The speech impediment was amazing.

Speech impediment was the.

It was like that kid in the cartoon that they run into that they think is so fucking innocent, and then he turns out to be the one tormenting everybody.

Can we get, like, her whole, like, character thing and just set it to Midwestern emo music?

Okay.

I think that'd be a great song.

We need to get an artist on this Right now.

Quick contact.

Mom jeans.

Throw up a character sheet, too.

Oh, hell yeah.

We have a one shot, and it's just Lil Jeffy and the.

The mage who doesn't know how to cast magic.

And that's the whole party on an adventure.

That's the whole party.

That's the whole party.

You can cast Fireball.

I can what?

I'm a what?

Fireball.

You're wittily a wizard Widowy.

Oh, God.

That's where we need for that one.

His literally is really good.

My balls are what's good.

Oh, man.

Okay.

Fireball.

No, they're not on fire.

You guys ready for the next characters?

Y' all ready for this?

I think this is the first and only episode we've had dance breaks in.

You guys should be very proud of that.

Okay.

Yeah.

The final round, you guys just have to have a crump off and, you know, that'll decide.

Do you guys have a large piece of cardboard you guys can maybe perhaps break dance off?

Oh,.

We're gonna.

We're gonna Zoolander this, and there's gonna be a breakdance fight.

Perfect.

Just what I trained for.

Like, I'm classically trained in break dancing.

I can dance and I can break, so.

All right, Biscuit.

Yeah, she.

She's gonna slam.

No, my name is Little Risk.

It's Style Point.

Yeah, yeah, I'll give her a Style Point on that one.

That was a pretty good.

That has to be a character at some point.

I gotta refer to it as Little Triscuit.

Little Biscuit.

She season with Rosemary.

Wait, what?

Not Limp Biscuit.

It's Firm Biscuit.

No, that one.

I heard.

I heard something about Affirms Harry or some Dante.

What's Hairy Rosemary?

Oh, wow.

I am way the up.

My bad.

I'm so confused.

These headphones aren't really headphone in for me.

All right, Dante, you ready for the next round?

All right, Kaylee, give us a roll.

That is a one.

A one.

Yeah.

Oh, my.

Hell yeah.

I don't like that.

I don't like the.

Oh, my.

So this game is called One up or Shut Up.

This is going to be a rapid escalation storytelling game designed to force improvisation, confidence, and quick thinking.

Contestants must continuously raise the stakes of a scenario without hesitation.

So you guys are going to alternate statements.

Each new statement must escalate from the previous one.

And any pause over three seconds, any repetition or failure to escalate results in the loss of a round.

Would you like Rudy and I to give you an example?

Yes.

We're going to Give you a starting prompt.

I set a house on fire.

I peed the house on fire.

I exploded the house on fire with the people inside.

People inside were immortal.

They were immortal until I found the way to loose their immortality and purposefully took it away before igniting the house.

And I sold it right back to them.

But how did you sell it back to a dead body?

So in that I will say there is nothing to sell it to.

I have raised the dead.

Ah, sneaky, sneaky.

You can't raise the dead.

I will do a portal right above where they would be coming from.

That will take them.

We'll say way the over there.

Dispel magic.

Oh.

Counter spell your dispel magic.

Oh, a gun.

I'm gonna take him out.

Plot twist.

Howitzer.

And I forfeit.

All right, that's kind of.

Yeah.

Point goes to cj.

We're out of deadlock.

I want a style point for peeing on the house.

Fire.

Oh, my God.

Well, no, somehow you said you peed it on fire, so I think.

Oh, yeah.

On fire.

Do not come in contact with anybody.

Do not let anybody come in contact with you.

And speak to your nearest medicine man or woman in wherever city you're in.

Got a guy named Jeff that sells medicine out the back of his car.

Does that count?

Yes.

Okay.

It'll either go really good or you will not remember what happened.

I don't think those are Flintstone gummies I'm laughing at.

Still.

I'm sorry.

I'm fine.

I'm fine.

All right, so we're gonna give you a starting prompt.

And because, Kaylee, this is your game, you're gonna go first.

Okay?

So your starting prompt is.

I learned a new spell.

All right?

I learned a new spell.

It's magic missile.

Well, my magic missile is already a higher level.

So I can cast more than what you can.

I can cast them harder.

You can't cast magic missile harder.

I can if I try.

Okay, I cast fireball and you die.

Joke's on you because I spend every day shoving alchemist fire up my ass.

What the fuck?

Wouldn't that just hurt you more than it hurts me?

No, I'm a Tiefling.

I'm fire resistant.

But fire resistance still does damage.

Therefore, you would still be hurting yourself more than you'd be hurting me.

Exactly.

I like the pain.

Your prison pocket can't save you here.

Oh, it can save everyone.

It also gets me lunch.

Okay, I gotta give her a stop One for the prison pocket.

You goddamn right fine.

If fire doesn't Work.

I'll summon an ice storm.

No, that doesn't work either.

I cast shield.

I counterspell your shield.

I cast spirit guardians.

Spirit Guardians is a area of effect spell, and unfortunately, I'm too far away for it to affect me.

I walk up to you.

I walk away simultaneously guiding Bolt.

What'd you say?

I'm sorry, does that count as a hesitation?

Because I was distracted.

All right, we'll call that one.

Yeah.

I, like, did not hear the spell you cast at me because I was walking simultaneously backwards.

I was walking away.

She was crip.

Walking or moonwalking?

Okay, that's one point.

Really?

All right, you ready for another scenario?

Yeah.

All right, Lilith, yours is.

I found 10 gold.

I found 10 gold.

It's mine.

How did you get it?

It's not yours.

I just found it.

It's mine.

Finders keepers, losers weepers.

You stole it from me.

I did not.

I stole it from someone else, actually.

Yeah, my dead mom gave me that.

I stole it off your dead mom, so it's mine.

Now.

What's my inheritance?

Well, I got to it first, so.

Well, I'm telling the magic straight.

You're gonna have to kill me to get this gold.

Like, straight up.

I'll kill you and then I'll take your gold as well.

You can try to kill me, but unfortunately I have a very powerful enchanted sword, so I don't think you'll get very far.

I can just take it, cut off your face, and use it to get into your vault and steal the rest of your money, too.

And get my inheritance back.

God damn.

Unfortunately, the sword was also on your dead mother, so I think I already took the rest of your inheritance, too.

I'll still cut your face off and get the rest of my inheritance.

And your inheritance and your vault money and my sword back.

Fair.

However, as I've already illustrated, I have your inheritance.

So you're going to have a very difficult time cutting off my face without the swords that I already stole off your dead mother's body.

But you're not attuned to the sword.

I am.

Unfortunately, if I attune to the sword, which I already have, your attunement breaks.

So.

It takes two days to attune to the sword.

You only stole it 15 minutes ago.

Bullshit.

You didn't see me steal anything.

You don't know when I stole it.

My mom died 20 minutes ago.

Well, unfortunately, that's what I wanted you to think.

I killed her many, many days ago.

That's not true.

10 Gold.

I had lunch with her yesterday, and she was already undead.

You had lunch with me in disguise as her.

I been studying her for months so I could do this.

Have a tadpole in my head.

I could read when you're lying.

If you could read when I'm lying, how didn't you know I was your mother back then?

Or were you playing the game all along too?

No, because you're lying to my face right now.

I'm not, I assure you.

As a matter of fact, you told me about your prison pocket with your alchemist's fire during lunch.

How would I know that unless I was your mother?

Because I'm your mother.

Fuck.

What?

I didn't hear that.

I said, because I'm your mother.

Oh,.

Inception.

Look at me.

I am the mother now.

God damn, dude, that was great.

I gotta, like, not look at my cameras because I get distracted by everyone's reactions.

And then she says something like, what just happened?

I have to just say something without thinking about it.

I just have to say some random,.

Like, I'm like, honestly, that I'm your mother.

Great ending.

I'll take it.

Everything about me has to do with mothers.

Lyran's mother is his patron.

I will die on that hill.

Oh, my God.

That was great, guys.

Hell, yeah.

That was a.

That was fantastico.

Talk about mommy problems.

Oh, my goodness.

Oh, my God.

That was intense.

Yeah, you told me about the prison pocket over lunch.

I like how you weakened at Bernie's.

Oh, my.

Out there.

Oh, I'm falling apart.

Oh, no.

Oh, my God.

You literally talked her ear off.

Oh, my God.

Okay, that's how you know it was a good ass talking competition.

Because that is what you're supposed to.

Do, my brother in Christ.

What do you mean was.

They're tied.

Run it back.

Oh, no more time.

All right, do we want a new prompt or a new game?

You want to run it back to the first game for a second round?

Just saying.

No, I have the stupid camera that tracks my movements.

I can do that too,.

Right?

Hold on, guys.

Yeah, yeah, hold on.

Damn it, Bobby.

Okay, because I'm your mom, personally, I say we run it back to the first game.

Okay.

I think it'd be pretty great.

It'd be cool to do a second game, but we planned it out so it's exactly the amount of games that we need.

Yeah, I don't know if I can top Lil Jeffy, but it's okay.

I don't think I can either.

I'm not gonna lie.

One of you guys is gonna have to, because you Guys are at three.

Three.

We can't end at a time.

Okay, that is true.

We prepared for this.

Yes.

You have to bring your own weapons.

We will not be providing you any weapons and.

Or transportation.

Yeah, we.

We were too broke after getting our own weapons and transportation.

Hold on, hold on.

The cold did say that they were going to sponsor the rest of this sandwiches on us.

Hey, I cut the crust off and then I squished them together.

I call them not crustables.

It's just a crust.

It's all crust.

I'm sorry, guys.

It's okay.

It's an.

I called them.

Yeah, I just called them crusty musties.

I went to lunch with the crust, and I found out about the prison pocket.

She started the crusty.

Emphasize, emphasize,.

Enhance.

Hold on.

I. I have one of those cameras, too.

Jarvis, Enhanced image.

I just don't have that one connected because it's too good of quality.

I don't want my flaws everywhere.

Oh, man.

No, I just.

It's.

It's so nice.

I'm kind of scared to use it for the podcast.

I feel like I.

Doing.

Plugging that in is doing a disservice to myself.

I can literally see your thoughts.

Oh, and they are bad.

The thoughts were murdered.

I mean, what?

I don't know, but with that thing on, C.J.

Has.

He looks like the coolest Jedi ever.

Look at him.

I can see the Jedi.

Use the floor.

Use the force, cj.

Use it.

I'm trying.

Scro.

It's not working.

If you don't use it, you lose it.

I think I lost it.

All right, Dante.

All right, with that said, back to NPC improv duel.

Let's do the evens odds roll again.

Figure out who's gonna go first.

Oh, you mean the evens odds roll with our sick ass.

D20 reps and respawn collab with Cat 1.

And done.

This is starting to feel.

Yeah, he beats.

Dog.

All right, call it.

Evens Odds, odds.

That is a beautiful Nat20.

And that's the end of our session.

Sorry.

It was actually a DC21.

So.

This is just proof that the collaboration dice is really awesome quality and you all should get it.

And that's coming from me, Lilith.

So it's no one involved with the project, so you know it's reliable.

That's where she's at for me, guys.

That's why I'm pointing there.

Yes.

I did not pay them to let me win.

No, you did not.

Actually.

Yeah, our accounting team would like to have a word with you.

They Said there was one too few zeros or one too many.

I can't recall.

They said that the memo, two monies does not actually count, so they will not cash it for us.

Oh, M U N N I E.

S. Actually, I sent that as a check.

Yeah, it says the memo was moolah.

And it says parentheses.

Little Wayne voice.

I don't know what that was about.

I think that was the wrong one.

The one I sent very clearly said mun muttons on it.

I think you sent that to the wrong location because ours did not say Mun Muns.

How many muscle crusties can you get with a Mun Mun?

What's the conversion rate?

It depends on what day of the week, because if it's Tuesday, you can get like 12, but if it's like a Saturday or a Sunday, you can probably get around 69.

Economy man, you owe them.

But to get the 69, it's got to be 420.

Nice.

That's sick.

God damn it.

You know, we gotta end it there.

That's the greatest joke ever made on this channel.

And that's the end of our episode.

Wrap it up.

Wrap it up.

That was great.

I salute thee.

It's been a great night, everyone.

All right, so since Lilith won the role, she will go first.

And your Persona you must embody is a necromancer.

Barista.

His name.

Before I start, I would like to say that I have actual experience as a barista.

I got trained for three days and that's about it.

But training that I gave cj.

Her name is Krista the Barista.

Cj, you dude.

That was great.

I love you.

Beautiful bastard.

That was awesome.

Love you too, brother.

Okay, you.

Yeah, Dante, you do it.

Hi, I'm Krista the barista.

Welcome to Strawed Books.

What can I get for you?

God damn.

Oh, we're all out of that, unfortunately.

Well, what I can hook you up with was I have some blood of your enemies here.

I can put it in a lovely frappe for you if you want.

No.

Oh, how about your mom?

Oh, I forgot.

She died and I took all your inheritance.

But don't worry, she's right behind you, and you can thank me for that.

Now, if you're quite done with your order, you can leave.

Pulls out.

Enchanted sword.

Hi, I'm Krista the barista.

Welcome to Strawbucks.

What can I get for you?

That's where I'm ending it,.

Because that was so locked and loaded.

This is not the first time she's brought up straw bucks.

Either that or she's been thinking about turning that into a thing.

A sick ass T shirt.

Actually, could you imagine that as just like a. Oh yeah, that would be a sick ass T shirt.

Mermaid legs is him doing the splits.

His legs are just up this way.

Oh God.

Our next product Collab is going to be a demon has to impress X Chat.

One strawbucks T shirt.

Let's do it.

Because we cannot get the official clearance for Skip it Badger.

Skip it?

Yeah, they would not approve it.

Apparently it's inhumane.

Are they sure the honey badger wasn't just in the human?

And that's where they cross the the wires.

Legal narcs.

You a knack knack, huh?

Knacking on me.

I think the honey bio has a really good representation in court.

And unfortunately Dante was our lawyer.

Yeah, that one got away from me.

I mean, what he watched 12 hour YouTube video and thought that was good enough?

I mean, I don't know.

He cleared crustables.

That's pretty good.

You can't win them all.

Bring in the dancing lobsters.

All right.

Please, not the next round.

All right, Kaylee.

Your prompt, your Persona.

You must envelop yourself within.

Is a goblin car salesman.

Are you ready?

His name is Badrenath.

That's cool.

I was gonna say Optimus.

Fine.

All right.

I mean you can do that one.

That's fine.

Are you looking at that car you were just going in yesterday?

No.

Don't want to die.

Well, no one died in it today.

How much?

How'd they die?

Who.

Who hung the dog in the back seat?

20,000.

Good.

All right.

What about this one?

It's shiny like my dagger.

Hello, Silo.

Bring out the wards.

There isn't just a little.

Might need some convincing.

Oh, you are gonna take this one then.

Huh?

Okay.

You can bring.

You can put the wargs back.

It's fine.

They're gonna take it.

You are gonna take it for the full 20,000 gold pieces.

Uh huh.

I will have you know that actually.

Worth three murders in that car.

But it's still 20,000.

All right.

Patricia Bush.

Can we get my lovely customer?

You will buy two cars today.

You want to talk to the rogue and you'll pass the credit check.

Dante.

Have fun with the org.

Can I pet that dog?

That's what I'm going to name it.

You take travelers checks.

It was a pain.

I have to fill your line of it's shiny like my dagger for the next goblin player character I play.

Because that was pretty.

That was pretty good.

Good.

Patricia.

No It's.

It's.

It was actually birth, Risha.

Oh, birth Rica.

Yes,.

Yes.

Patricia at birth.

It's actually B, E, R, T, H, R, I, S, H, A, Bertha.

I don't know how to spell either way.

It's like.

Yeah, jokes on me.

Jokes on you.

I'm a wizard that forgot spells.

Oh, my God.

It's all come full circle.

Joke's on you.

I may be able to steal, but I couldn't steal smarts.

So here I am.

Wait, is that why you're on the show?

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

It's all become so clear.

Yeah.

Magic, Krista the barista, the goblin, car salesman.

It's so clear.

I'm your mom.

D and D is just the friendship we've made along the way.

I thought D and D was the war crimes we committed along the way.

I'm your mother, not your friend.

Were we not doing that?

Little Jeffy committed the war crimes.

Oh,.

Dude, the zoom in, that's great.

Just.

It's tracking her.

Lean with it, rock with it.

The camera's going crazy.

I'm losing my voice.

All right,.

Don't look.

Oh, no, it lost.

I see your secret.

Alrighty, then.

Keep your secrets moved in.

Don't judge me.

I gotta stay still.

I mean, have you seen behind me?

There's like a 3D printer here, a laser engraver, computer.

Random, like, engraving shit all over my head.

This place is kind of a mess and a half.

And your veiny baby Groot over there,.

The Goblin would like that.

The veiny baby Groot.

Groat.

Groat.

Okay, sorry, he dances, but I gotta mute it since we're recording.

Is this the show and tell segment of the show?

I can wait.

I want to see Groot dance.

Sorry, viewers at home.

Wait, hold on.

I don't think you can hold on.

We have to be quiet so we can cut this part out.

Actually, Kaylee nailed it.

That's pretty much it.

The silence is killing me.

I love it.

That's only.

We can do that.

We cannot clear the audio.

Okay, okay, okay.

So before.

Before we decide on the winner for that round.

What's your guys's walkout song?

If we could clear.

If we could clear actual audio for like, music wise, copyright for this?

Yes.

Yes.

And we wouldn't get copyright stricken right away.

What would be your guys's walkout song?

Copyright stricken.

Okay, calm down, Mr.

Disturbed Sweet Child of Mine.

Just to piss you off.

How dare you, Satan.

I. I wanna steal my answer that it originally was.

And the first time I was on and say jellyfish jam again from spongebob.

I feel like I have to be original, so I'm gonna say the, like, Austin Powers theme.

That.

That's great.

That one.

Yep, yep.

I'm sure.

I was actually going to say I will do the Ricky Martin cover from Alex.

Terrible.

I thought you were gonna go Ricky Martin.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, Go Dante.

The Pokemon theme song from the original anime.

Okay, okay.

That's a solid one.

So do you want to be the very best?

Like no one.

I want to be the very best.

That was such an alley oop of just greatness there.

Oh, should I go run and get the complete first Indigo season, the only one that truly matters on DVD that I have un.

Fucking opened.

Weird flex, but I'm into it.

Dude.

It was on his coffee table today.

You didn't see it?

No, it's decoration.

At this point, he hasn't even opened it.

It's just there for decoration.

Preoccupied with my delicious good times meat.

Oh, yeah.

Solid, solid.

You had one opportunity to say Chef Boyardee ravioli.

No, no, no.

They.

They wouldn't sponsor us,.

By the way.

We're not.

We're not gonna be sponsored by chef already.

It's going to be great value.

I was actually going for Kirkland.

Yeah, they wouldn't cover us either.

Yeah, I'd prefer Kirkland over Kroger, but none of them like us for some reason.

We're gonna make our own, Dante.

Yeah,.

They're gonna be called prison pockets.

That's terrible.

Okay, you take a bite of that prison pocket.

Jesus.

Delicious.

Wow.

They're delicious.

Let's get back to the.

The voting thing.

Oh, actually, before we go back to work, my song would have been Edward forty Hands.

What does your prison pocket taste like,.

Baby?

We gotta cut that out.

We gotta cut that out.

That is terrible.

Is going in or wait.

Nope, Let me rephrase that.

This is going up as is.

Oh, Christ.

That's how these tourney episodes are.

Dante, who are you voting for on this one?

I. I gotta go with Krista because that straw thing is still.

It's occupying a portion of my brain.

That I hate how infectious that is.

I'm gonna be quoting strawbucks for a minute.

We're making that a shirt.

You heard your folks.

Someone's had to.

I can't be the only person who've ever thought of straw books.

I will look this up afterwards and I'll send you the results.

Thank God.

I've never thought about that.

But then again, I'm not much of a thinker, so that could be part of it.

Fair point.

Force.

Go, cj.

What are you voting for?

I have to agree.

Although Patricia and the Goblin voice were fantastic, She truly embodied what I could picture the actual Krista the barista being.

Or what she should have portrayed.

Your mom's behind you.

See, I like the Krista.

I. Dude, the strawbucks is solid, but you gotta respect the business person right there.

Three dead bodies.

Not one, not two, three.

And she did not waver on the price.

I mean, she did not.

Yeah.

That is extremely commendable.

Yeah.

So I. I'm giving my vote to Kaylee.

But that's two to one.

Lilith, you get the point on that and with your style point.

That brings us to a five.

Three for the end of the episode.

Congratulations.

You're gonna be moving on.

You will be playing against Mac in the semifinals.

It was actually 5 4, because you did undercut the one style point that was given.

Oh, my bad.

5 4.

Closer game.

Like CJ, flip for it.

I'm just kidding.

What?

All right.

So that brings us to the end of our episode.

Jesus Force.

Go, cj.

What are you doing?

That brings us to the end of our episode.

Jesus.

Thank you both for being on.

We had such a blast.

Like I said, Lilith, we will be seeing you for the next round against Mac.

He's been prepping, so he's study up some more.

I'm excited.

He's a little Macintosh.

Need to return to the mech for little Jeffy.

I got this.

I just think of the ringer.

Oh, God.

That's a great one, too.

Do you guys have anything you need to plug?

I. I mean, yeah, I have Tick Tock and insta@demonestoimpress.

I'm on a live play DND campaign.

It's been kind of on and off lately just because we all had weird life events happen at the same time.

But it is at the Dragon's Rest Tavern.

I play a cute little cleric named Crimsonum there, and she just got unalived by a lich and reanimated.

So it's a lot of fun.

I also want to encourage everyone to support Kayleigh at Reps and Respawns because.

Thank you.

Also so lovely.

And she makes wonderful dice.

It did roll a natural 20.

So, I mean, what more credentials do you need?

And she just.

She's so sweet and wonderful.

So go follow her.

And we're going to be best friends.

So if you don't follow her, you're going to personally fund me.

That's it.

I'm scary Cute.

That's the worst kind of scary.

Oh, I'm scary drunk.

That's the worst kind of scary.

Are you my stepdad?

Not yet.

I'm not.

Sure.

Got him.

Can we play cat?

Meanwhile, Rudy's sitting there.

What are you my real dad?

I wouldn't know.

Okay?

I know who my dad is.

He just doesn't like me.

That's different.

It's cooler.

Kaylee, you got anything you need to plug?

If you want to follow me on YouTube, Instagram, TikTok.

It's just reps and Response or Reps and Response Official.

You can go to Reps and responds.com if you want to buy my DND die sets D20 earrings.

I have keychains, I have necklaces and.

Nope, I'm not going to give that away.

Not yet.

But follow.

I don't know if I'm pointing at her.

Lilith Demoness to impress.

Because I'm her mother and we're fighting words if you don't.

Period.

Guys, always listen to the mother.

You just gotta.

Mother's always right.

Period.

I know that's right.

Mommy knows best.

So wait, what does that mean?

My mom said I was a up.

She's always right.

Do better.

Do better.

Go back in the corner and think about it.

I did.

You don't get much money for the next two weeks.