The main thread of today's discussion revolves around the transformative journey of our guest, Talia Howard, as she embraces a new perspective on life and relationships.

We dive deep into her experiences of reconnecting with her feminine energy after a tumultuous journey, including a profound trip to the Amazon.

Talia shares her philosophy on raising her sons to be respectful and emotionally intelligent individuals, highlighting the importance of vulnerability as true strength.

We explore the contrast between her past struggles and her current happiness, emphasizing the significance of being present in every moment.

Join us as we reflect on how embracing our darkness can illuminate our path and create a joyful environment for ourselves and our loved ones.

A Warrior’s Spirit can be found on all the major platforms at lnk.bio/daryl_praxis33

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Welcome back to another episode of A Warrior Spirit, where we let the inner warrior shine in their light.

Today I have a returning guest, Talia Howard.

Last time we spoke, Talia, you were coming back from the Amazon, and we're reconnecting with your feminine energy.

And I just kind of wanted to fast forward through that arc because I know it was a tumultuous journey for you, and I just appreciate you coming back on and sharing part two.

So.

So thank you.

Yeah, absolutely.

Thank you so much for having me again.

I'm super excited to just share more of my story and, you know, see what I can do to provide some value.

And thank you again for having me on.

It's definitely an honor and a.

And a privilege, so thank you.

Well, you.

You got really good reaction to our last conversation, and we talked a lot about, you know, where you started and kind of the things you went through to get you where you are.

But one of the things that I've always admired about you is a.

The way you raise your boys.

It's amazing because you're raising boys who are going to treat women with respect and integrity and some things that we're lacking in today's world.

But also, you have a really great philosophy on life itself.

You know, you.

I'm going to plug in my microphone.

You.

I don't know how much that got caught, but we'll see.

But anyway, you have a.

You have a beautiful philosophy on life and connecting with nature and.

And, you know, some of those things.

Where did you actually learn that?

Because that's a.

That's a learned behavior from something.

Yeah, I would say that in terms of, like, the nature part, the nature.

And the philosophies with your sons and, you know, all that stuff.

Yeah, I would definitely say that.

The.

The light that people see, honestly, comes from my darkness.

I feel like I have gone through quite a bit in my life, and I've had some really, really dark times.

I've.

I wasn't always the person that I am today.

And so, you know, I've definitely experienced what life is like on the other end of not having, you know, the perspective that I have today.

And so it was just something that I made a conscious decision that I wanted my life to be different.

And so I simply seeked out the knowledge.

I seeked out the right people, and I just became very coachable.

I always say I'm like a sponge, you know, I always come in with.

Without an ego.

My.

My goal is to always learn.

And so, I mean, honestly, it was just, you know, it didn't happen overnight.

It's definitely been a journey.

But for me, I always say, for every problem, there's a book out there that will help you solve it.

And so that's one thing I'm really big on, is reading.

So, I mean, I've read countless, countless books that have helped me, you know, gain the knowledge, and then obviously, the execution is where your wisdom comes from.

And so I've had a lot of failures in life, but my perspective has always been, you know, when you learn it's learning from your failures, then they don't become failures.

And so, yeah, it's just something that I kind of developed over time and just through experience and.

And, you know, the darkness that I've experienced as well.

I have known you for almost seven, eight years now, and from.

From the outside in, because we don't.

We only get as close as a person will let us.

And not.

Not everyone we meet is suddenly our best friend and in our inner circle.

So I've slowly worked my way into your middle C. But.

But what I've seen is a hard outer shell that has softened over time.

And, you know, we.

The last time we spoke, we spoke about your having to be a strong masculine energy and.

And an alpha all the time and.

And how you've transitioned into reconnecting with your feminine and being a little softer.

From an outside perspective, it is visible on you.

The, The.

The softness, the gentlest gentleness, you know, not the strike before you strike me attitude.

Right.

So whatever you're doing is.

Is really noticeable from the outside and.

And has got to feel really good from the inside.

It does.

And that makes my heart happy that you say that.

Yeah, it's definitely something that I've had to very consciously work on.

And, you know, I learned a few years ago that I used to always think, like, being hard, being tough was strength.

And I realized that vulnerability is what real strength is.

It's very easy to be closed off.

It's very easy to have walls up.

Everybody does it.

What takes the true strength is being vulnerable and opening your heart up to love, opening your heart up to getting hurt, things of that nature.

That is where truth, strength comes from.

And I would say that was definitely one perspective that shifted for me that really made the difference in, you know, me embracing just the softness and the tenderness and things of that nature.

May I ask your ethnicity?

Because you're Brazilian and what else?

Yeah, Arabic and then Mexican.

Okay, so from a cultural standpoint, do you think some of that toughness came just because of the culture and, and what that brings.

Or do you think some of it was just the harshness of life?

I think it was, I don't think it was so much culture.

I definitely, I definitely was raised more in the Hispanic Mexican culture.

And you know, it's definitely mixed.

You know, growing up, you know, we were taught like to serve your husband, you know, honor him and things of that nature.

But then as I got a little bit older, that narrative kind of changed.

My parents got divorced and it wasn't pretty.

And so, you know, I heard a lot of things about men and I developed my own, you know, emotional perspective of, of men and what that looked like.

And it wasn't a healthy perspective at all.

And so I think it was definitely a combination of both, but I think definitely heavily leaned more towards my experience that I had of where that masculine energy came from.

And it also just came from like my childhood.

You know, I, I, I love my family and you know, my parents did the best that they could, you know, with what they knew and what they had.

And they, you know, had their own traumas that they went through.

But I remember just feeling very alone when I was a child.

And so I know I developed a lot of that tough exterior through my childhood as well to just protect myself.

And so it was definitely a mixture of, of all of it.

Well, I know this version of you is a lot, you know, like I told you the first time that we spoke that you, when we originally met, you had intimidated me, you know, because of that alpha Persona.

Right.

And when you agreed to actually come on my show, I was like, oh my gosh.

She actually said yes.

So it was, it was nice to see the softening.

But I, I know you've done some work in the Tony Robbins self improvement world.

Who else have been some of your influential leaders to stepping into the new version of you?

I would say probably one that always stands out to me, that I started listening to when I was really, when I was really young actually.

And, and that kind of changed my mindset.

Not necessarily for the, for the feminine from it, for the femininity, but more of just an abundance mindset was Jim Rohn.

He was, you know, he's a classic and I remember he was one of personal development people I ever listen to.

And to this day I just, I love his voice.

He just, it's pure nostalgia for me.

So Jim Rohn has definitely been one that, you know, really stood out in my life.

Tony Robbins, obviously I've been to a lot of his events and those were absolutely life changing.

I would say John C. Maxwell was also.

That really helped me when it came to like, business and leadership and I would say deep chakra.

He helped me in terms of just spirituality.

Dr. Joe Dispenza is also just one that really stands out for me.

He talks a lot about the mindset and the body and whatnot.

God, there's so many, so many that I've read, listened to, have heard that have all just made a difference in my life.

What.

And we, we feed our souls with kind of the same people.

So I'm really understanding, you know, what you're saying.

And one of the things that I really, my wife and I really love about Dr. Joe is that he was a neuroscientist and he brings, you know, the, I'll call it the woo, for better word.

He brings the woo into science and he debunks it and shows how it's actually.

So all of those out there who are, you know, afraid of the woo.

Joe, yeah, it's all, it's all scientifically based and, and he can show, you know, how all.

And one of the things I also like to get into conversations with people who, because I, as a coach, one of the things I say is I'm where the woo meets the work, because I deal in that energy, in that spirit.

But I also know that a person has to do the actual work themselves to, to dig out of that hole.

But one of the things that I love about, you know, the, the people like Dr. Joe, or I like getting in conversation with people who are really Bible oriented because God is really personal to my heart.

But I find more spirituality watching the ocean or walking in the woods than I do sitting in a pew listening to a guy preach the Bible.

But what I really like to do is show them how the woo is actually literally from the Bible.

Like, and you can show them passage and verse, how this is equal to that and same verbiage.

Right.

So I'm just curious as I'm, as I'm listening to you, how I, I see what you share on social media and you know, you take your boys hiking and they're in jiu jitsu and they're in these creative things and they do all these creative things as well.

I don't see them doing a lot of Nintendo and a lot of, you know, video games.

How, how have they gravitated towards the spiritual side that you've embraced in them?

Yeah, that's a great question.

They definitely, I mean, I, I, you know, I made a make.

I Made a commitment to have a spiritual foundation with my boys from the beginning of time as soon as they were born.

And so, you know, God is something that, you know, we've talked about since they were little.

Right now they do go to a Christian private school as well.

And so they have definitely, you know, embraced spirituality, God and whatnot.

And, you know, and I do tell them, you know, I'm very particular in terms of, like, what I teach them because I was raised in such a religious atmosphere.

I. I'm super observant when it comes to religion and churches and things of that nature, because I know how fast, how easily it is to manipulate and control when it comes to religion.

And so that's one thing that, you know, I always wanted my boys to know that, you know, God is, you know, loving and forgiving and mercy and grace.

This is not all shame and ugly and, you know, condemning and you're bad and things of that nature.

Um, so I. I mean, I love it.

You know, we pray every single night.

They've been saying the Lord's Prayer since they were, like, 3 years old.

And we do affirmations every night.

They say what they're grateful for.

You know, they do the meditation and whatnot.

And so, yeah, I think, you know, it's a really sensitive topic for people who are super religious as well, you know, when they hear about, you know, energy and.

And things of that nature.

But as you said, when you read the Bible, like, it backs up everything it says, you know, greater is in me than he that is in the world.

Like, for me, I feel like religion teaches God is beside you.

Spirituality is God is inside of us, and their scriptures back that up.

And so, you know, if people, you know, kind of put themselves in a box.

And so I think it's important just to, you know, keep an open mind and.

And understand that God created energy.

You know, whether people agree with it or not, it's science, and God created science.

And so I think it's a very important topic.

You can go on and on about it, but, yeah, my boys.

My boys have been great.

You know, they're.

They definitely embrace spirituality.

And I, like I said, I try to teach them in a way that's not in a religious aspect, but more of a spiritual, spiritual aspect.

And definitely I can see it in them that, you know, it's definitely made a difference in their lives.

I used to say when I was in school, religion was the worst thing that happened to God.

And for those that actually read the Bible, God went into the temples and you know, destroyed what they were.

He didn't hang out in the pews.

He hung out where the people were.

And he brought.

He brought his ideation to the people, not the people come to him for the ideation.

And so I think it's an important distinction between religion and spirituality.

Because I used to get accused of people because of.

Because I embrace the energy work, and I've embraced not only the energy work, but the shadow work.

Because, as you're aware of, you can't heal if you don't heal.

The shadow.

Absolutely.

And.

And we all have the shadow.

So I used to get accused of being sacrilegious.

And, you know, some.

Some of my friends would question whether I even believed in God.

Yes, of course I believe in God.

But I also know that the spirituality and the content of God was not created by man.

And man likes to twist that philosophical way of life.

So I'm glad that your.

Your sons are embracing that.

But it's really cute when you show the.

The pictures, especially your.

Your younger son, you know, he's dictating and he's doing like, he's doing like, the breath work.

Like, that is so awesome.

That kid is going to grow up to be a really cool kid.

Like, you know, but then he knows Jiu Jitsu and can beat the crap out of you, so.

That's very true.

Yeah.

What's funny is, you know, they know Jiu Jitsu, and they've had a couple incidents at school where they've encountered.

Because I put them in j.

One of the reasons I put them in jitsu is I vowed my.

My boys will never be bullied.

Like, I want them to be able to defend themselves and not ever feel like they have to succumb to that.

And they've had a couple situations in school where, you know, someone put their hands on them and did something, but they will not use Jiu Jitsu.

And, and they say, I don't want to hurt him, you know, and so, like, they.

They have created this level of respect for it.

Right.

And, you know, I think it's beautiful, but then at the same time, I'm like, twist his leg or something.

Like, right.

At least knock him down.

Yeah.

But they have such an immense amount of respect for do and they know that they can seriously hurt someone.

So, you know, they, I think they feel like, okay, that's the last resort.

If I need to, I will use it.

But I just, I think it's really cute that, you know, they.

They know it, but at the same time, they're very respectful of what they know and with using it so well.

That's my wife, her son, my stepson, when he was younger, she put him in he because he was, he was tiny.

He, he was like small even at 13.

And he didn't have his spurt till he was out of high school.

So she put him in in jiu jitsu to teach him how to defend himself too.

And he same thing, he would never use it because he didn't want to hurt the other person.

So I think that's a great discipline where you know your strength but you don't have to show it even when it's warranted.

You can resolve the solution without, you know, that, that extra touch.

Yeah.

And it just speaks of, you know, their maturity and their mindset that, you know, they, they know, they know when to be respectful and, and when to use it.

So that's definitely a great thing.

One thing I find when people heal themselves and they've, and they've moved past where they were in their hurt and their trauma is their circle changes radically.

Old friends fall away, new friends materialize, old doors close, new doors open.

How has that played out in your life?

Yeah, that has definitely been something that has happened.

You know, when last year I definitely a lot of friendships, the doors closed on them and at first, you know, it definitely made me feel a certain way, kind of affected me and then I realized that God has better things and better people for me.

You know, I was, I'm not the same person that I was, you know, at the beginning of last year.

And you know, when you go higher, your, your circle of friends go higher as well.

And you know, now I can definitely say and I don't have a huge circle at all.

I keep my, my circle very small, very particular in regards to like who I spend my energy with, who I give my energy to.

And so, you know, the people that I do have in my life, they're there to, you know, encourage me, help me grow.

And so yeah, that's definitely been something that I've experienced and it's been for the good, it's been for the good as well.

So I find that a lot of the people, especially the, the people because I coach with a lot of females, for some reason I connect better with their energy.

I, I blame it on myself because I, I say I don't want to coach guys like me who are hard headed and stubborn to get stuff done.

So, so I don't, I don't gravitate towards how I used to be.

But What.

When I, When I speak with these women, a lot of them are afraid to grow because they know they're going to outgrow those in their circle, and they're afraid to lose that.

That piece of them.

What would you say to someone who's not willing to do the work for that fear?

There's, you know, my mind goes.

Comes to a story, and it's a story about a dog, and he's sitting on a porch and he's laying on a nail, and the dog is just whining and crying and whining and crying.

And, you know, the.

The friend asked the owner, like, what's wrong with your dog?

And he's like, well, he's laying on a nail and he's like, well, why doesn't he just get up?

He's like, because it doesn't hurt enough yet.

And, you know, I think a lot of people, they get.

They're in a certain period of life where they're in pain, but they're not hurting enough to actually do something about it.

And so until you get to that point, unless you're consciously making that decision, you're not going to.

And, you know, a lot of people, you know, we're.

A lot of times we're scared of the unknown, and that's.

We're more comfortable with what's familiar to us.

And so until you get out of that comfort zone, you know, things are never going to change.

It's, you know, if you want things to change, you have to change.

If you want things to get better, you have to be better.

And so it just comes down to taking that personal accountability in regards to, you know, how much do you want your life to be better?

And so, you know, for someone who is maybe struggling, you know, with something like that in regards to not wanting to make that change, continue and see how much longer you can take the hurt, because eventually, eventually it's going to catch up to you, you know, or you just make that conscious decision.

And when you do, I mean, for me, the key is to surround yourself with a support system, you know, people who are going to be there to help you in regards to what you're trying to do, because we can't do it alone.

And when we have people together with us, that's what really helps us make those steps or those decisions to move forward in a way that we know is going to be for ourselves.

I think it's also, you have to know and understand that that's just part of the process.

I don't know anyone who's gone through their metamorphosis and still remained where they were, with who they were.

You have to take two steps back sometimes to st. To take one step forward, and that's part of the process.

Well, and, and what, you know, people are always quick to share the caterpillar and butterfly story, but what they fail to tell or share is that when the caterpillar goes in the cocoon, it literally dissolves itself in a pile of goo and transforms into an entirely new being before it can emerge.

The butterfly.

And people love the caterpillar and the butterfly metaphor, but they forget the goo part, which is where the ugly darkness is, which is where we're isolating ourselves into that healing journey.

Absolutely.

Yeah, absolutely.

And, and the other part of that is people think, you know, oh, I'm going to help this person get through it or get out of it.

But just like the butterfly, if you help it out of its cocoon, it will never fly.

Part of the struggle of emerging from the cocoon is what strengthens its wings to give it flight.

Absolutely.

So, yeah, you can be there with, you know, coaches and people and support systems, but you still have to go through the process.

Yeah, people can give you all of the guidance, all of the support, all of the words, everything.

But if you are not willing to do the work yourself.

Yeah, I mean, I always say, you know, getting information without execution is just entertainment.

You know, not going to do anything like that.

Like, you have to do the work, you have to get uncomfortable, you have to make the changes.

Nobody can do it for you.

But that's also why it's one of the biggest rewards.

You know, it's just like working out.

You can't pay someone for you to get six pack like you have.

We would love to.

We have to do the work.

And that's why, you know, doing that is.

Is such an accomplishment, because it just speaks volumes in regards to who you are and, you know, caring enough about yourself to make those changes.

And when you do that, you know, you put out to the universe and to God that, you know, that's what you deserve, that's what you attract.

The more you do that, the more you're going to get, you know, back.

So you reap what you sell.

And some of us don't sow enough.

You know, I can give you a golden shovel.

It's not going to dig the hole.

You have to dig it yourself.

When.

When we spoke the last time, we talked briefly about your trip to the Amazon and how it reconnected you with Your feminine energy.

But we kind of skated over your.

Your actual time in the Amazon.

What spoke to you most about that environment?

Because you could do that kind of healing and that kind of work anywhere.

For some reason, you chose to go to the Amazon.

Talk a little bit about your experience there.

Yeah, I think.

I think what happened was.

I do agree with the fact that you can do that anywhere.

I also believe that environment does have an effect on us.

So, you know, and some people need that, some people don't.

It depends on your mindset and what you feel like you need.

I do.

I do feel like that was something that I needed, because I know.

I know me.

You know, I know, like, when I'm around my environment and things that I'm familiar with and comfortable with, um, it's easier for me to work on things and make a change when I.

When I just change my surroundings.

And that's just who I am.

Um, but I would definitely say just, you know, getting down to the basics, getting rid of all distractions, and just really being present with the experience that, you know, I was.

I was having there is just what really got me reconnected with who I am, giving me the clarity that I needed to, you know, figure out kind of how I wanted to move things forward with different things in my life.

And yeah, I mean, you know, I went there with.

With about eight different girls.

And so just having, you know, the space between us women where we really just shared our hearts, we shared our fears, we shared our vulnerabilities.

Again, having that support system is just absolutely vital.

And so being able to be in that space with, you know, other women there who.

Who, you know, were going through their things and, you know, we were able to just uplift each other and be there for each other.

You know, that made a huge difference for me as well.

And so, you know, being in the jungle, that was just spiritual, beautiful.

The food, the people, I mean, just all of it in general was just, you know, the animals.

We went hiking.

I mean, we'd go out on a boat ride at night just to see the stars and lay in the boat and listen to the jungle.

Sounds like it was just unbelievable.

And so just, you know, being that in tune with your surroundings, with nature, with yourself, it just.

It really brings clarity within you.

And so, yeah, I mean, I just always say, like, my experience was absolutely spiritual out there.

One of the things you talked about last time was how.

And.

And you said this had a profound effect on you was how simple they lived, yet how joyful their Hearts were.

Yes, it was.

Or go ahead.

No, I was just gonna say, how did that.

How did that realization really impact you, especially from a US City girl.

I know.

You know, I kind of was already kind of in that mindset of less.

Less is more.

You know, when I was in my early 20s, I was very materialistic.

I was all about hustling for the mansion, for the.

The luxury cars, for stuff, stuff, stuff.

Stuff.

Like that was literally my mindset.

I was like hardcore.

That was me.

And, you know, in the last, you know, last five, six years, I've made a ton of money, and I realized it doesn't make me feel any different, you know, and you still have problems, you still have challenges.

It really doesn't make a difference.

And so I was kind of already on that road of like, less is more.

And.

And I would say in last year, I really changed my perspective to honest.

I mean, money is absolutely important.

Like, I'm still hustle.

Like, that's still something that, you know, I'm passionate about and stuff.

But when it's all said and done, you know, we come into this world with nothing, and we leave this world with nothing.

And so, you know, going to Peru and just seeing how they live, just really seeing solidified and cemented that belief in me that I don't really need all this crap, you know, and we're just unbelievably blessed, all those things.

When it all.

When it's all said and done, I just need the people that I love in around me, having integrity within myself, living to the best of my ability.

And.

And, you know, it just.

It really cemented that for me.

I already had that perspective going into Peru, but going to Peru just internalized it for me, and it really made a difference in that sense.

And so, yeah, I mean, it just.

It's free, you know, you're happy.

Like, I don't need stuff to make me happy.

I love that.

That's.

That's freeing.

I. I can't remember if it was Robin Williams or not.

If it wasn't, I'm sorry for who I'm misquoting, but they said money doesn't change you if you're already an.

It's just going to make you a bigger.

If you already got a generous heart, it's just going to make you a bigger giver.

Money makes you more of what you already are.

Right?

Yeah.

And.

And so when you come back from that philosophy, you know, you have worked really hard.

No, you.

You didn't come from a lot, so I don't want people to sit here and hear you say, oh, I made a ton of money.

No, you worked really, really, really, really hard to acquire and, and secure the finances you have.

So never going to take that away from anybody who's worked to elevate themselves and gain their life.

But that solidification that Peru had on you, it brought back how you handle your money and what you spend your money on.

And, you know, it changes.

And that changes the dynamics of your family as well.

It changes your children and how they view money and what they do with it.

So, you know, your spiritual journey didn't just impact Talia, it changed your lineage.

Yeah, absolutely.

I would say one of the biggest differences I see now is I finally realized on a deep level what it means to attract abundance by being and not doing.

I have been very intentional now to not hustle, like, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.

And it's, It's.

It's hard for me sometimes because sometimes I catch myself like, oh, my God, I need to do this.

And then I'm like, no, chill.

Be who I am.

It will come.

And it's just insane every time I do that.

Things come, deals come.

People I haven't talked to in a long time contact me.

And it's like I. I have to just trust the flow and focus on me being, not me, doing.

And that has been a huge shift for me, I would say, in just the last few months.

And so that's something that, you know, I've really been intentional in just remembering, like, it's being, not doing.

And that's made a difference for me.

Yeah.

The gurus that you and I have listened to, they all say we're human beings, not human doings.

So it is being and becoming who?

It's not only manifesting it, but it's becoming who's worthy of handling it.

Because if you can't be grateful for little and handle little, you're certainly not going to be grateful for much and handle more.

Yeah.

So be, do, have.

And it's so funny because, like, I've heard that phrase since I was 19.

Be, do, have, be, do, have.

And I never really got it.

I thought I got it, but I didn't really get it because I was always doing, doing, not really being.

And so.

Because when you're being, you're not over overwhelmed over this hustle.

Busy, busy, busy, busy.

It's your being.

You're being in the flow, your chill.

What comes.

I attract you attract you.

Don't chase.

It's like a magnet that's a huge difference.

And so it's interesting because I've heard that phrase for so long, and I feel like I finally got it in the last four months.

Crazy.

But your life has changed.

And more has come to you.

Absolutely.

Than has been repelled from you.

Absolutely.

One of the things that is changing in your world is your view on love and relationships.

You hosted very eloquently how you're looking for a different or a better form of love.

What does that.

And I saw your response to the person who asked this question to you originally.

But what does that new love look like to Talia?

And I.

And I did see you were very polite about it, and then you wished him well on his own search.

That's funny.

Honestly, I've kind of always had the perspective I had on love, but the relationship that I was in before wasn't that.

And so I sacrificed what I.

Who, who I was and what I wanted out of a relationship to make things work.

And, you know, for me, I always say, you know, moving forward when it comes to relationships of what, you know, I'm looking for is, number one is feeling safe.

Like, that's literally the number one for me is feeling safe emotionally, mentally, verbally, physically.

Without that, it doesn't matter.

Nothing matters.

And so that's probably the, the, the main thing.

And then having respect and trust.

One thing that I have learned is love.

Yes, it's important, but I can love you.

But if I don't respect or trust you, I'm going to make my decisions differently than if I do respect and trust you.

So for me, I feel like respect and trust is more important than love because that's going to be the driving force in how I make my decisions that affect the relationship, that affect you.

And so if I love you but I don't respect you, that's, that's, that's, that's a huge difference.

And so I would say those are definitely foundational pieces.

And then one thing that's really big for me is emotional intelligence.

You know, someone who has the capability to control their emotions.

I, you know, one thing for me growing up and that I always wanted was I hate yelling.

I grew up in a household where it was constant and it was something that I never wanted.

And, you know, moving forward in whatever direction I'm.

I'm going in, you know, that's something that's huge for me is, you know, having the capability to control your emotions, not yell.

Everyone gets angry, everyone gets mad.

Walk away, reconvene when you're of clear and sound mind, and you can actually have an effective and productive conversation about whatever challenge there is.

And so, you know, those are definitely things that are important to me.

And, you know, one thing that I, I've always been a fan of is, and I said this on the post, is I take care of me for you, and you take care of you for me.

Not focusing on each other, not, you take care of me, and I take care.

No, I take care of me.

You take care of you.

We become the best version of ourselves, and then we can come together and be the best version for each other.

And so that's definitely, you know, kind of my perspective in regards to, you know, what I'm striving for.

And, you know, and I said this, like, in order for me to want all of that, I have to be that for myself.

And so that has been, you know, one of the things that I've, you know, been working on in the last year is, you know, making sure that that's who I am.

So, yeah, I think the male female dynamic plays a small piece in this because my wife and I have been together going on 10 years now, and we met when we were long enough, apart from our previous relationships, to know what we didn't want and what, what we did want.

And so when we found each other and we came together, we have a lot of what you spoke about.

But in my own side of it, I can't speak for my wife, but in my own side of it, in my own brokenness still, that I hadn't healed.

The anger from childhood, the traumas from childhood, the modeling of the yelling of my mother was all I knew.

And I, as much as I love my wife and as much as I want to treat her with the great gift that she is from God, that piece of it still reared its head, still rears its head, and it's still something that I have to consciously catch myself because she's like you, where she grew up, in a household where that was the norm.

And as a child, that traumatized her, you know, to burying her ears and covering her face and dreading when dad would come home because it would be nothing but yelling.

And she doesn't deserve that nor want that in her current relationship.

I, I, I wonder, especially the psychology major in me, I wonder how much of that alpha peace that men have rears its ugly head in that situation.

Which is why I'm so thrilled with what you're teaching your boys, because they're going to be the next generation of men and are they going to model the peace and the communication that you model, or are they going to model the anger that I modeled, you know, and, and cutting that out?

All the healing that I've done, all the journey that I've taken, that's still the piece that just is so hard to eradicate.

And I want it because she deserves it.

Yeah.

And I think it's important, you know, and I wrote this on the post.

It's about progress, not perfection.

You know, I'm not perfect.

I have things that, you know, I will continue to work on.

And I think, you know, when two people have an understanding and you know, their true intentions and they're actively, you know, working on things like it's.

It's progress, you know.

And so I think there are certain things that are deal breakers for people.

And that's one thing that, you know, people need to, I think, identify is, okay, what's a deal breaker for me?

For someone that may not be a deal breaker, it may be important for them, but it's not a deal breaker.

And so I think it's important to just, you know, identify, like, what it.

Because in.

In the reality is, everyone's going to hurt you.

Any partner you get, I don't care who they are.

It's.

I always tell people, like, you can even, like, not disappoint yourself.

How can you expect another human being to never hurt you, never disappoint you, never do anything negative to you.

Like, you can't even uphold that type of integrity for yourself.

And so the reality is, is that no matter who you're with, eventually you're going to get hurt.

Eventually they're going to do something to, you know, whatever the case is.

And so forgiveness is huge.

You know, constantly forgiving, like that's part of a relationship because they're going to make mistakes.

And I always say, you know, it's.

It's not necessarily the mistake that matters.

It's what you do after the mistake that is what means everything.

And so, you know, I think it's just really identifying for yourself, like, you know, what's a deal breaker for me and what's not a deal breaker for me because nobody's perfect.

We're all going to mess up.

We're all going to make mistakes.

And so, you know, for someone like yourself, someone like myself, if I have something that I know, it's something I need to work on, you know, just continuing to communicate, like, hey, you know, I know this is important.

I know this is something that I'm.

I need to Work on.

I'm continuing to work on I love you.

You know, you know, we're going to work on this together.

And just communication, you know, talking about things and, and forgiving.

I think, you know, that's definitely an important aspect of, of all of it.

For me, I've apologized more in the last 10 years than I have in the last 50 of my life.

Because.

Because early on it was easy to say, well, that's just who I am, but because it is a deal breaker for my wife and she is so important to me.

I had to do what you say.

I had to fix me to be a better version of me for her and myself, because she didn't deserve it.

And I certainly didn't deserve to live that way all the time.

You know, who wants to live angry all the time?

That's, you know, and, and to verbalize most of your life, well, that's just who I am.

And you have to accept it.

What a crock of crap.

And until I was willing to take ownership that, no, it's a choice.

It may be unmodeled and it may be something you learned, but we can unlearn what we learned and learn something new.

So, you know, finding.

But I think when you're in a relationship, especially when you're first starting in a relationship, those are the conversations that people are so afraid to have until, like, they're in this honeymoon phase for the first two years.

And then the real stuff that, oh, used to be really cute about the other partners, now an irritant.

Well, those should be talked about up front.

Yeah, absolutely.

And it's funny, you know, most people fall into that trap.

I fall into that trap where you, you know, you don't talk about the nitty gritty, you don't talk about the real life stuff.

You know, how do you parent?

You know, how do you.

How are you going to discipline your children?

How.

I mean, there's so many questions to ask that people don't ask.

And then, you know, you find yourself in situations where you're like, holy crap, we have completely different parenting styles.

And now that's a real problem.

And, you know, those are absolutely important questions to ask.

And, and again, it comes down to feeling safe.

If you can feel safe with someone, to feel like you can ask those type of questions and be open, you know, that's, that's imperative.

So I think the safety comes from knowing that you're not being judged by whatever's being, you know, brought up and your past isn't being held against you.

For your future.

Leave it.

Leave it.

30.

It was 30 years ago.

Leave it back there.

Right.

Yeah.

You're allowed to evolve and change.

And I, I think if we are more gentle with ourselves and start forgiving ourselves, then it allows other people to be gentle with us and forgive us as well.

I think it's that harsh edge that we carry through that, you know, the walls instantly go up on your defenses, and now you're in an argument when you wanted to be in an embrace.

You know, it's a different philosophy.

So, yeah, I mean, there's definitely a lot of things to consider, you know, in all of that.

And, you know, I love.

I obviously go to church and, you know, my pastor talks a lot about marriage and stuff and relationships and, you know, he, he talks about, you know, just forgiveness and like, you know, just let things roll off your back, like, pick your battles.

Like, everything doesn't need to be a battlefield.

You know, it's like, pick what you, you know, your husband says something stupid like, okay, like, make a joke about it and get over it, you know, and it's like, it's true, you know, and it's like, speak.

Speak life into your partner and you know, the tonality that you use, and that's huge, you know, and so, yeah, I mean, and, you know, it's all about just learning and, and growing and getting new information.

You know, that's, that's always important.

And so, I mean, that's, you know, definitely one thing that I'm, I'm constantly doing is just learning.

Learning.

What can I learn more?

What can I grow?

So, yeah, definitely important.

My mother was a strict, volatile disciplinarian, and my father was the community of softer spoken one.

And he used to always say to her, wag more, bark less.

Because if you're always barking and you're always complaining, then they're.

The kids aren't hearing you because everything's a bark.

There has to be.

Again, like you say, choose your battlefield.

And it, and it extends not only to our kids, but to our spouses and our partners.

You know, we, we do have to.

Not everything has to be a fight.

And just because the other one wants to raise the sword doesn't mean you have to join them on the battlefield.

It's okay.

It can, it doesn't have to go against your ego to take a step Back and say, no, not today.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

No, yeah.

And again, my pastor, he, he has a saying.

Do you want to be right or do you want to be loved or do you want to be love?

And it's like, what's more important, being right or, you know, being with the person you love?

And yeah, sometimes you just put the ego away and you know, it is what it is.

And so, yeah, I mean, you know, relationships are complicated in and of itself.

You have two people, completely different backgrounds, different personalities, put them together.

So yeah, they're, they're, they're definitely complicated, but they, I've seen they can be absolutely beautiful.

So that's so you.

When we first started, you stated, my light comes from my darkness.

And that's exactly the beauty of the darkness, is that's where we get to shine our light on.

In your own transformation, what has been your biggest light that has shown from the darkness you've come from?

I would say.

My ability to empathize and understand.

I'm almost at a point where no matter what someone does, I understand.

And it's very, it gives me peace.

You know, I, I'm a huge observer.

I listen to everything people say, how they say it, their body language, tonality, everything.

And you know, I have situations where, you know, people do things, say things, and I empathize.

And so having that understanding of like people, emotional emotions, mindset, it helps you realize like why people do the things that they do.

And it allows you to look at it from a different perspective.

Not coming from a place necessarily of, you know, anger or judgment.

It's like, okay, I, I understand why they're doing that.

And for me, you know, that's something that has helped me be able maintain a sense of, you know, stability in my emotional well being.

And so, yeah, I would say that has really helped me in my life.

And what that does also is it helps me to maintain my happiness, you know, for my boys.

Like my, my home now with my boys is a very happy home.

And that is what I've always wanted for my boys.

Yes, it's not ideal.

You know, things didn't turn out the way I wanted them or the way I envisioned it, but now they see a difference, there's a contrast.

And they see their, their mom happy and laughing and never upset, never yelling, never frustrated, anything like that.

And that has definitely been one of my biggest gifts is, is being able to be that for my boys.

I want them to remember mom as happy, joyful, playful, loving, always.

That's a great gift to having Never had that.

That's a great gift to give your boys.

I, I, when I did my own alchemist journey and, and put my own story out there, one of the things that I said is that I can remember multiple times of the beatings.

I can't remember one time of a hug.

And nobody should be in that life.

So the fact that you're giving the love and the joy and the happiness to your boys, because it is a contrast and they are old enough to know the difference, it will be more impactful than you can ever imagine.

And, you know, kudos again to you.

You're one of the few people that I have high regard for and high respect.

You know, we're, we're not tight inner circle, so I can't speak to every aspect of your life, but from what you've shared and what you show and what you allow us in to see, I have high regard for Talia Howard and, and I appreciate you still being in my circle as you transition further into your light, what's next on your horizon?

Because you said it's not about the hustle anymore.

And yes, you're still working for, you know, life, lifestyle, but it's not about the hustle.

So what's the new replacement for that time for Talia?

Being in the present.

Being in the present.

I got a lot of traveling planned this summer.

I'm super excited.

Taking my boys out for, like, three weeks to go to a bunch of different places, and then I'll be doing an international trip as well.

I don't know if I'm either doing Brazil or Bali, but it will, it will be somewhere international.

And yeah, I mean, you know, for me, it's about balance.

You know, obviously, you know, you've got to prepare for the future, but I'm also living like.

I mean, I could die tomorrow, you know, and so I'm going to, I want my life to be slow.

Like, I'm slowing down big time and appreciating, you know, the moments, the small moments, appreciating the people that I love while still doing what I'm doing, but having my mindset in the correct space that it needs to be to be able to still enjoy, but prepare, you know, Jim Rohn says, you know, be grateful for what you have while you pursue what you want.

That's, that's the mindset that, you know, I'm gonna, I'm going to really adopt, you know, for the rest of the year.

And yeah, I mean, I'm, I'm honestly just really all about experiences and enjoying life, living in the present moment.

So, yeah, that's.

That's where I'm going next.

Well, I love it and I appreciate that you're still in my circle and, and spending these times with us.

I'm going to ask you again, like I asked you at the end, see if it changes at all.

What's the new perspective of a warrior spirit for Talia?

My new perspective is obviously what I said before, but one thing that's, that's really on my heart as well and has been, is just being in the present.

It's so easy, so easy to get distracted, to be in the future, live in the future, to live in the past.

I feel like it takes a real warrior to have the discipline and the ability to actually be in the present moment and actually feel and see and hear and taste and touch and actually feel that.

And so I, you know, that's going in a deeper level to what we talked about before.

So, yeah, I mean, warrior spirit is truly, truly being in the present moment.

Be where your feet are.

I love that.

Well, thank you for coming back and sharing this second half of your journey and, and, you know, many, many blessings sent your way and I just look forward to seeing how you continue to blossom and grow.

So thank you.

Thank you so much, Daryl.

I appreciate it so much.

And what you're doing is amazing.

I commend you for this as well.

And I appreciate you and you and your wife are in my prayers.

Thank you so much.

Have a great night.

Thank you.

Bye.

Bye.