Other general considerations for beating the cycle of lacking self-discipline are creating goals to reduce discomfort and improve time management, and developing skills to stop making excuses so frequently. Beat the cycle!

Questions or comments regarding the podcast?

Email the show at HollinsPodcast@NewtonMG.com or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/hollinscomment

Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/mindovermatterhollins

Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/self-growth-home

Peter Hollins is a bestselling author, human psychology researcher, and a dedicated student of the human condition. Visit https://bit.ly/peterhollins to pick up your FREE human nature cheat sheet: 7 surprising psychology studies that will change the way you think.

For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home

For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg

#Avoidance #CornellUniversity #EnvironmentBlamer #Excusemaking #Perfectionist #Wansink #DiscomfortAndStruggle #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PeterHollins #TheScienceofSelf #MindOverMatter

Avoidance,Cornell University,Environment Blamer,Excusemaking,Perfectionist,Wansink,Discomfort And Struggle,Russell Newton,NewtonMG,Peter Hollins,The Science of Self,Mind Over Matter

Discomfort and struggle are what make you who you are. You're reading this book because you want to be more self-disciplined, so if you're going to follow through on that, then it's time for you to get comfortable with discomfort.

3. Excuses for lack of self-discipline to decrease psychological discomfort: "It's perfectly reasonable for me not to wash the car. It's so hot outside I would melt. My spouse didn't really mean it when they asked."

It's time to understand the psychology of excuses a bit better. Making excuses isn't always a deliberate thing. This often makes it hard to pinpoint exactly when we use excuses because we tend toward certain ways of thinking that we just accept as "who we are."

Some of these mindsets are classic personality types that we're all familiar with to an extent. Others are patterns of thought that we don't easily recognize. All of them conspire to make us delay, procrastinate, or simply refuse to do something. But they're also correctable. There are many different mindsets that contribute to the act of excuse-making, but we'll focus on four of the more common ones.

The Perfectionist. This is someone who only acknowledges results if everything goes exactly as they planned. There can be no deviation whatsoever. The Perfectionist takes a stark "all-or-nothing" approach to what they see done: either everything is right or absolutely nothing gets done. And of course, you can bet the standards of a Perfectionist are frequently impossible to meet. They'll have an absolute floor of expectation - if that minimum level of accomplishment isn't meant, the entire project is a waste. So why bother?

How to change the Perfectionist mindset? First, stop thinking of accomplishments as "off/on" switches where there's just the binary of "done/not done." Rather, think of efforts in terms of a "dial" where all efforts are simply measured in levels of intensity. You might be going at 85%, 50%, or 3% - but you're doing something instead of shutting down if things aren't perfectly executed. Something is better than nothing. If you don't come out of the gate stronger than anyone else and do everything perfectly, you can always adjust along the way. It's a fluid process.

The Intimidated. People with this mindset have some commonalities with the Perfectionist in that they use an "ideal condition" to gauge the effectiveness of their efforts. But the Intimidated is more gripped with fear than the Perfectionist. They're afraid they've overshot their ability and have taken on more than they can handle. The Intimidated is driven by a consumptive fear of the unknown and the prospect of total failure. Not only will the results be bad, but they'll also be downright disastrous - the cake in the oven won't just burn; you'll set the entire kitchen on fire.

To tame the Intimidated and overcome your terror of what might happen, the answer's very simple: research. Consider what's the worst-case scenario in your efforts: what would truly define utter catastrophe? Write the answer down and make whatever plans and reinforcements you need to avoid that terrible event from unfolding - and then get to work.

Remember too that failure is something to learn from. Just allowing yourself to be defined by failure, without trying to figure out the adjustments you could make to achieve a better result, is a lifelong recipe for eternal procrastination. Resist the urge to overthink and overanalyze in advance and risk "analysis paralysis" - just start something.

The Environment Blamer. People with this mindset are completely at the mercy of their surroundings. They believe they have no input or control about what happens. Life to them is merely a sequence of things that happen to them, not the accomplishments they make. Their belief that outside forces are always conspiring against them leads them to focus only on the external and not at all on their own internal abilities or contributions. This is especially helpful when they're trying to evade responsibility.

To change the environment-blaming mindset, simply accept accountability and realize that things don't have to happen to you. Understand that you have just as much ability to affect your surroundings as anyone or anything else. Nothing prevents you from doing so besides yourself. This is a matter of understanding just how much you can participate in your daily life. Question whether the environment is really the cause of your sorrows or whether it's just a convenient excuse. Like the example from earlier, traffic and weather might happen to you, but that doesn't mean you can't account for them yourself.

The Defeatist. This mindset is pessimistic. A Defeatist is certain there's no chance for success - and won't let you forget about it. They've already decided they're not going to succeed, whether they say so or not. The Defeatist uses their lack of optimism to explain their own inabilities - it's not really a reflection of the truth, just that they lack the requisite tools to do anything. More often than not, this attitude stops being an opinion and turns into a self-fulfilling prophecy: they really will start stinking at everything.

To change the Defeatist mindset, stop confirming your own failure. Even if it runs counter to your ideas of reality, just attack the problem you're trying to solve or the goal you're trying to achieve. Break the big task down into smaller and more manageable pieces - try to score a few "quick wins" instead of the league championship all at once. It's fair and even prudent to expect hardships or tough stretches, and it's even okay to ask for outside assistance. Just don't declare that failure is inevitable. It's never a done deal.

Excuse-making is the most temporary and fruitless method to feel better. Rather than repair faults and flaws from the ground up, an excuse is more like a Band-Aid that just obscures flaws and does little to fix them. Understanding the nature of excuses helps us see them coming before we speak them. That pause in our thinking can help us see what the real situation is and can open up insights into how we can positively affect them. And that leads to a tenacious character that can contend with anything that comes down the path.

Now that we understand the true purpose of excuses and why they are so unhelpful, it's time to learn a method to deal with them as they arise.

The solution isn't necessarily to deny what we're telling ourselves, as that's nearly impossible. Excuses reflect certain states of mind that we may indeed think we're experiencing. Instead of denying your excuses, try to dig below the surface and find three components: the truth, the mentally weak conclusion, and the mentally tough conclusion. Drawing a clear distinction between these three factors is what will allow you to truly understand your internal dialogue and isolate where you can choose to be tough and resilient.

For example, let's say you have an essay that's due in a few days that will require you to perform research. You have a reasonable window of time to get it completed, but you're exhausted - this is the truth. This is the neutral reality of the situation. This is where the fork in the road appears and you will make your choice about how to approach it - with toughness or not.

Now ask yourself what an excuse for the truth would sound like. This might be your first impulse - to come up with an excuse not to get started. "I could start now, but I'll do much better after I get some sleep." There's your mentally weak conclusion: it's allowing you to procrastinate. Even though there might be a hint of truth, its sole purpose is to allow you to take the easy way out. It is indisputably the path of least resistance. It seems to be small and harmless, but it is actually attempting to absolve you of responsibility.

Then ask yourself what the best approach for the truth is. On the other hand, you could say, "I'm tired, but if nothing else, I can do a few small things right now to get the paper going. I could make a rough outline that'll make this paper easier to navigate when I'm more refreshed." That's a mentally tough conclusion. It is recognizing what the right and most effective choice is instead of the easy choice. It doesn't demand that you exhaust yourself, but it ensures that you set yourself up for success.

Often, it's only when we engage in this type of role-playing that we can understand we are even making an excuse. You're not required to reject the conditions that make up your mentally weak conclusions. No, it's not about becoming a relentless machine in the face of all adversity. Step by step, it's just about realizing that you have many choices and that the choices that lead to toughness are just a slight pivot away. We can move forward only when we realize that excuses are almost always lies.

4. Avoidance activities to decrease psychological discomfort: "I will clean the bathroom instead. I'm still productive! I'll also arrange my desk. Lots of things getting done today."

Tinkering with your environment can make self-discipline a whole lot easier. If it's difficult to distract yourself, then self-discipline might actually become the path of least resistance and you might as well work.

When you study how human behavior evolves over a long time period, environment frequently plays more of a part in success than motivation or skill. Environment is the hidden force that guides human behavior. Yes, incentive, intelligence, and labor are important, but these traits often get overmatched by the surroundings in which we dwell.

External factors are the invisible accomplices for shaping how we react and behave. No matter how self-disciplined we want to be, it is at least partially determined by your physical surroundings.

It's an example of how even a minor adjustment in an environment can contribute to an outcome you want. The change in plate size was a minuscule two inches - not quite the width of a smartphone - but yielded more than one-fifth of a decrease in consumption.

Make the easy thing the right thing; make it the default thing, even.

For instance, if you want extra incentive to practice a musical instrument more, you could make a permanent place for the instrument in the middle of a room with instructions of exactly where to pick up. You could also leave a trail of sheet music that literally requires you to pick it up to walk to your bed. If you want to work out more, you're more likely to visit a gym if it's located on your way home from work rather than ten miles in the opposite direction.

You can also put your gym bag in front of your front door, buy a pull-up bar for your kitchen doorway, and only wear shoes that can double as exercise shoes. Finally, if you want to procrastinate less, you can leave reminder Post-its next to door handles and your wallet (things you will have to touch), leave your work in a place you can't avoid it, and hide your distracting temptations.

Decreasing distraction is a function of out of sight, out of mind. For example, supermarkets often place higher-priced items at customers' eye levels to increase the chances they'll buy them. But one could reverse this process at home by keeping unhealthy foods away from immediate view and storing them in less visible or harder-to-reach levels. Put your chocolate inside five containers like a Russian nesting doll and put them in a closet. See how often you binge then.

To stop smoking, one might consider removing all the ashtrays from inside the home and placing them as far away as possible on the perimeter of their property so smoking will necessitate a brisk walk in the freezing winter. To keep from sitting down all day, you can switch to a standing desk that will force you to stand up during most working hours. You could also simply remove chairs and coffee tables from the area in which you do most of your work.

Depending on willpower and discipline is risky to say the least, so create an environment that will help you automate your decisions toward self-discipline. In taking that decision out of your hands, you're rewiring yourself to take bad habits out of your routine - and likely saving a little time in the process.