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Introduction
Episode 113th April 2023 • Real conversations about aging parents • Rebecca Tapia, MD
00:00:00 00:09:07

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Welcome!

This episode is a quick introduction to the podcast, it's origination, and the intent. No juicy stuff in this podcast - tune in to the following episodes to dig deeper!

Caveats:

  • This is a judgement free zone
  • There are no "shoulds" allowed, we live in curiosity
  • Take what works well for you, leave the rest!

If you are finding value in this podcast, please share and leave a review so others can find it too!

If you would like to dig deeper - check out my upcoming course and join the waitlist.

Rebecca


Disclaimer: The information presented on this podcast is solely for information purposes. We do not provide medical, legal, financial, or other professional advice through this podcast and we are not responsible for any errors or omissions. It is your responsibility to seek advice from a licensed professional. Any actions you take are done at your own risk.

Transcripts

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Hello everyone.

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Welcome.

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I'd like to take this episode just to do an introduction to the real conversations

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about aging parents, where the idea came from, what the purpose is, what I think

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you might be able to get out of it.

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Um, so let's get started.

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So I am Rebecca Tapia.

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I am a physician that works in rehab medicine.

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And I've come to this topic in multiple ways.

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So first I'll, I'll start.

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Professionally and clinically, I have been at the intersection between life events,

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strokes, car accidents, brain injuries.

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Um, and families processing and dealing with those for 15 years,

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I've seen thousands and thousands of families, uh, adapt to these issues

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and watch the dynamics, um, not from the sidelines in the middle of it.

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Some of the times of trying to, the family's trying to

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grapple with and understand.

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Uh, change in functional status or a, uh, parent or loved one, um, that is suddenly

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needing more care, those types of things.

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So I've always been fascinated from that standpoint, but more so I came

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to it from, uh, being someone in my forties and noticing a transition

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just in talking to my friends.

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Uh, we used to talk about kids and diapers and preschools and, um, now we kind of

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talk about our parents and taking care of our parents or not, or how we feel

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about that with the cultural pressure.

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So some of the financial aspects of that, some of the emotional issues with

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that, making hard decisions, and it's not something I could find is really well

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talked about and I, I strongly believe that conversations and curiosity can.

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Help other people get prepared.

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You know, look at the preparation that goes into having a baby and

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there's, you know, a whole shelves of books dedicated to this and an

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industry around getting prepared.

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Um, but there really is a point in life, usually later in life where

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you're going to potentially be making decisions for or caring for a parent.

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And there aren't a lot of frank open.

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What I would call realistic conversations about how that looks.

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I really do think that the sticky, difficult, tough conversations

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are the most interesting.

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So this podcast is not gonna be about instruction.

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Of how you should show up for aging parents.

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In fact, there was one point in which I called the po.

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I was gonna call the podcast showing up for aging parents, and I had to

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stop myself and say, you know what?

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There are people who can't show up for aging parents, or it's not

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in their best interest to you.

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Or maybe they had a traumatic childhood and.

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You know, there's just some, it just seemed kind of loaded to

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say, showing up for aging parents.

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Uh, so I went to a pretty vanilla real conversations about aging parents

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and, um, that seems to fit well, uh, what we're gonna be doing here.

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So, what you're gonna hear in the podcast, it's gonna be a mix of, of just me

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talking about my thoughts, reflections.

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Is my, uh, lessons learned in my lifetime, both per professionally and

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personally, and you'll hear a large number of one-on-one conversations

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with real people, with real experience, with real lives that wanna share.

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Uh, I was very timid to start this podcast at first because I thought

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nobody would want to talk to me.

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This is a sensitive topic.

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There's all sorts of weird stuff to talk about, like incontinence, death

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and dying, and I thought, nobody's going to one, agree to be on my podcast,

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and two, nobody's gonna listen to it.

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And, and I decided just to start by asking around.

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And what I found was that the conversations to me were mesmerizing.

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And absolutely, uh, captured my attention not only through the power of using

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stories to help other people, but also just to, to honor what's happened to some

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of the people that are talking or their loved ones, and take what our largely

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difficult emotional experiences we're gonna talk about and, and translate those

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into, uh, lessons learned, help for people who are either entering this phase or

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have already gone through this phase.

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That feel alone, they feel isolated.

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And that's what these conversations are gonna focus on.

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One of the most rewarding parts of developing this podcast is for the people

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that I have these conversations with.

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To circle back and say, not only was that fun to talk about, but

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there was a lot of healing involved, which is sharing that story.

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It's not something they normally talk about and oftentimes talking to me as the

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first time they have ever talked about it.

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So what a cool experience that we can have them come on the show and share.

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So let's get over to a few caveats, uh, just ahead of time.

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I wanna be very transparent.

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One, the podcast is informational only.

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So nothing discussed in this episode or future episodes is, is ever

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meant to be formal medical advice, legal advice, financial advice.

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There are, are good professionals that you can seek, uh, in those areas.

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Number two is we are gonna talk about difficult adult topics.

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Um, death and dying is part of talking about aging, and if that

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makes you uncomfortable, this might not be a good podcast for you.

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Number three, again, these are adult conversations.

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Sometimes the language is gonna get to a little salty.

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I've had to clean up my own.

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A language for the podcast, but I imagine once I get to seasons two

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or three that, um, that, that bear, that wall might have to come down.

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But, um, and then the, the next one is that this is a, a judgment free you zone.

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So I don't bring people on the podcast to say, you know, Monday morning quarterback

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what they should or shouldn't have done.

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Um, what you're, what you're going to hear is a questioning, a curiosity.

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And that is really how I feel like we can get to the bottom of some of the thoughts,

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feelings, and emotions, uh, on this topic.

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The next is, this isn't going to be a should podcast, so we're not gonna

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come away from a conversation and say, look, look, see what she said.

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You should do this, or you should not do this.

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So you won't find any of that type of information here.

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Um, this, I, I think it's much more valuable to have people share

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and give their lessons learned and then have the listeners take what's

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meaningful to them and helpful.

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And then leave the rest behind.

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Um, but ultimately what I'm here to say is this is a passion of mine.

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I have thought about doing something like this for at least seven years.

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Um, I myself live with my grandmother.

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She's turning 90 this year.

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So I have that personal experience that's driving me to talk about these

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topics and, um, encourage other people to, to drop any kind of shame or.

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In decision or, or those types of things.

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On this topic, it's important and if we're gonna support ourselves, part

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of that is just getting prepared.

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Part of that is understanding.

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Part of that is finding a community where these types of things are discussed.

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So, I think I've talked long enough.

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I probably have a lot more to say, but I want to keep it short

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for my, my introduction here.

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I am so incredibly grateful and thankful that you would be listening to this.

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If you find these episodes helpful for you, valuable for

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you, please, please share them.

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Share them in your Facebook community.

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Share them, um, with your friends and leave me a review.

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That's the way that the podcast platforms work.

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That's the way we can share more of these messages with everybody else.

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Thank you so much.

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