Hey there, listener! Thank you for checking out our older seasons! We're adding this note on the top of the show notes to keep you up-to-date with the show. Connect with Jen Amos and get bonus content when you subscribe to our private podcast show, Inside the Fort by US VetWealth, at http://insidethefort.com/

Last Updated: September 2, 2024

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088: Simple steps to take on any challenge and tackle self-doubt with Louise Valentine

Wellness expert, competitive athlete, and fierce military spouse Louise Valentine shares some simple steps to take on any challenge and tackle self-doubt from her best-selling book, The Art of Breaking Through. Regardless of where the Army sends her, Louise's career is dedicated to empowering others to live a vibrant, healthy life. She created the TeamValentineProject.com wellness platform with a mission to help others find simple and realistic ways to make wellness work.

Grab your copy of Louise's book, The Art of Breaking Through, at https://www.amazon.com/Art-Breaking-Through-Challenge-Self-Doubt/dp/B08L3XBW5J

Download The Art of Breaking Through Worksheet for FREE: https://www.teamvalentineproject.com/products

Facebook / Instagram @TeamValentineProject

Connect with Louise on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/louise-valentine-mph/

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Connect with our co-hosts Jen Amos jen@holdingdownthefortpodcast.com and Jenny Lynne Stroup https://jennylynnestroup.com/ or jennylynnestroup379@gmail.com

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Jen Amos 0:00

All right. Hey everyone. Welcome back to another episode of the award winning show holding down the fort. I am your co host goldstar daughter and veteran spouse Jen emos. And today I also have with me my co host who is a military spouse or I'm gonna say career military spouse because you've been in for some time, mental health advocate and mom of two and avid Mardi Gras. How did

Unknown Speaker 0:18

you describe yourself? celebrator today,

Jen Amos 0:22

Mardi Gras celebrator today, Jenny Lynn strip Gentlemen, welcome back.

Unknown Speaker 0:26

Hey, thanks for having me. Glad to be here.

Jen Amos 0:28

Yeah, you all are like missing out right now. Because her hair It looks amazing. She has like feathers and like her lashes are on and she's just like into the theme today.

Speaker 1 0:35

I have an A Kincaid shirt two that you can't really see. But it says Oh, happy day.

Jen Amos 0:43

I love it. I love it. Well, today jennylyn we have someone really exciting that we are chatting with today. So let me go ahead and bring her on. We have Luis Valentine, who is a wellness expert, competitive athlete and fierce military spouse. She's also the author of the best selling book called The Art of breaking through five simple steps to take on any challenge and tackle self doubt. Luis, welcome to the show. Hey,

Unknown Speaker 1:07

it's so nice to be here today.

Jen Amos 1:09

Yeah, for sure. our listeners don't know this. But like we don't get to see you on video. And it makes me sad. But I think you'll still have a pretty good conversation today.

Unknown Speaker 1:16

Yeah, it'll

Unknown Speaker 1:17

be smiling the whole like, guys.

Jen Amos 1:21

Speaker 2 1:26

Jen Amos 2:05

Yeah, absolutely. I love that attitude. And I love that you opened up with that. And, you know, I just want to wish the best for your dad and your family. Because, you know, despite how people feel about COVID, and you know, some controversy of like, oh, are the numbers exaggerated or not, like COVID is still very much a real thing. And we need to take it seriously. And people have been deeply impacted by it. And it's caused this ripple effect to the loved ones who have got COVID. So it means a lot that you open up sharing kind of that vulnerable story and what you were going through and what you're currently going through to take care of your dad. Yeah, absolutely. And,

Speaker 2 2:42

Jen Amos 2:59

yeah, I hear you. And you know, something that's been on my mind since Valentine's Day at the time of this recording is funny, because your last name is Valentine is I have a friend too, who was deeply impacted by COVID. And I think this is a conversation for another time. But basically, she had to go to the hospital. And she's been out for like weeks. And it's just been I've just been talking with her husband because I think COVID has like heightened her anxiety and insomnia, where it's been really difficult for her to sleep at night. And so right now she's at a place where she's like, completely turned off her phone. And like she's just like resting with everything that she's going through. I mean, I know that COVID affects everyone differently if you do have it, but for her, she started to have brain fog. And the people at the ER mentioned something like one of the common symptoms of COVID is like when you say you have brain fog, what's really happening is you're having like inflammation like in your brain and so it heightens whatever issues you already have. And so that's really been a lot on my mind lately. And I think it really humbles me. And so focus on gratitude is very important to me as well. Another thing I've been doing since Valentine's Day since I found out since I've been talking to her husband is I've just been checking in with people to be quite honest, you know, I'm just like, I'm going to Yeah, I'm going to my text messages and I'm like, Oh, I haven't text this person in like months and I'll just like lately I've just been like randomly calling people and I was like oh my god you picked up like I know that's like not a thing nowadays but like you totally picked up and you know we would catch up and I think that's just like so needed right now is like connection and gratitude in these like really difficult times. Yeah, and then the space to to just accept that life is a little different right now. It's

Speaker 2 4:38

challenging. And I wrote a blog post like the crazy and me on ours the crazy in you like we have these moments where they're just, we just have to embrace each other for experiencing this in our own way. The struggles are different, but we're all facing more challenges and obstacles than we've ever had in our entire lives. So just giving people the space too if they need that time to shut down or if they need even like immature reactions from people or you know, it might just be because they're stressed out trying to juggle in a ritual work in school and

Unknown Speaker 5:10

you know, just

Unknown Speaker 5:10

It's okay, crazy in me today honors the crazy view.

Jen Amos 5:14

Okay, so speaking of crazy, I definitely had a crazy moment this morning. So we have a screen door at home. I mean, we have like, not screen door, we have sliding doors, you know, for our balcony and stuff. And my husband, like, you know, he's from Ohio. So he loves like fresh air and like nature. And so he's always, he always has like the door open, like the sliding door open, because like, our dog will pop out the door, and he wants to go and sit on the balcony and stuff. But for me, I don't like that because that means bugs can come in. And so this morning, this morning, I was like in the middle of something. And I noticed that there was a fly in the house like a big fly, okay. And it's like the start of like, spring is around the corner already. So I'm already like anticipating my anxiety with all the bugs coming into our house. But anyway, like the one way you can control bugs not coming in your house is to have the sliding door closed, but he just leaves it open. So I had this whole situation like literally this morning where I was like, do you understand why I want that sliding door closed? Is it a lot to ask? Like, this is not the first time this has happened. Okay, so I'm gonna keep bringing it up. And I don't mean to lecture you. But like, that's where I'm at right now. So anyway, I'm planning on apologizing later is what I'm also trying to say. Because I had a crazy moment. I mean, it's I still defend my moment, though. I'm not calling myself crazy. But it definitely you could call it a crazy like situation, because it's like this small thing that like really shouldn't be that big of a deal. But it is to me because I don't like flies in the house. But anyway, that's just my dirty laundry coming out for you.

Speaker 2 6:38

Well, having lived in California, you don't have bugs as much. It's really fascinating. And coming from Ohio, we had our bugs, so I can relate with both sides to that story.

Jen Amos 6:48

Yeah, like he doesn't care. He's like, he's like, well, I've been to Iraq. I've been to like Brazil, like they have big bugs. And I was like, Well, I haven't been there. So like, I'm not trying to understand why it's good to coexist with bugs. Like I just don't like it, especially when they're really big. But you're right, California, we're very, very, very spoiled. They're like the answer. So my new like, so tiny. But like here, they're like huge and it just anyway. So gratitude, gratitude and connection is what we're trying to say, Daniel and just wanna check in with you any thoughts? mean? You can get Scott a screen,

Speaker 1 7:20

Happy Valentine's Day, you know, they have magnetic screen that you put up like outside the door that's really, really handy. Keeps the bugs out. Having grown up in that area of Virginia, I know about the bugs, and now living in California know about the lack of bugs and a screen is imperative, Virginia.

Jen Amos 7:36

It's Yeah, sure review that I really appreciate that advice. We're supposed to have the contractors take the screen, like we have a screen door in the garage, and they were supposed to fix it. But anyway, they didn't fix it. And I was like, anyway, yeah, so we are dealing with it. I think I actually saw him like try to install it earlier. Like I heard him like banging around. So I think you felt really guilty about it. So we'll see how that goes and how that turns out when I go downstairs later. Anyway, let's go ahead and shift gears let's, let's move on and stop talking about bugs here for a second. But I think that your story, first of all, I was reading your bio and everything about you. And I think your story is very fascinating because you have so many examples in your life where you never gave up on your career, despite being a military spouse, despite you know, having a newborn and a three year old and you know, having to move around and pivot like there's something about your story that I think a lot of our spouses that listen to the show can really relate to, but I think I want to start like you describe yourself as a fierce military spouse. Why is that word fierce? First of all, so important for you to add at the beginning of fears military spouse, and you add that in your professional bio and everything.

Speaker 2 8:42

Yeah, it's because, well, first of all, I think all military spouses are fears. So I just want us all to be able to say it aloud and own it, because our journeys all different. But the obstacles of the lifestyle, I never would have expected it. You know, I started off in my, you know, life. I say I sprinted out at the gates of undergrad and built my dream company before I even graduated with my bachelor's. Wow. So I had this cool career with working with NFL players and contracting with healthcare systems, and then decided to be a military spouse. So here I was, like, what I would describe as one of my dream careers. And I was also like, yes, I'm gonna marry the man in my life who happens to be a combat aviator. So with the reality of marrying a combat aviator at the time, you know, 11 years ago was deployment every other year. When they are home. They're away training for deployment. So it was a lot to take in, you know, obstacles like losing friends in combat and a total shift on life that it was just very eye opening. I went into the Part of military spouse hood. And I did juggle the career for a while for about two years, I would drive back and forth between Fort Drum New York border of Canada and Cleveland, Ohio. You know, he would deploy and I would come home and back to my business. And I didn't have kids at the time. So it was manageable. But eventually, you know, a couple years into that, I've moved up to New York, and I was with them 100% as a military spouse, and from then on, it has been relocations and holding on to this career. So the word fierce to me, describes my journey, especially wanting a career and never giving up on it. And I say that, you know, I've been re engineering my career, each new duty station, and I will go out kicking and screaming, like, I want my gravestone to read, you can't say she didn't try because every single duty station, I have been able to work. And it has been such a journey like so these places your station for eight months. It's like I had to get the job before I even got there. And you know, it just crazy. So yeah. Well, thank

you so much for sharing that. And just the challenges of being a military spouse and the fierceness of it and the resiliency and just overall admiration of, you know, continuing to fight for your career despite, despite moving around. And I don't really ask this enough, actually, because I hear about this more from military spouses than I do from the service member. But I'm curious to know, like, how does your husband feel about knowing that his career is like the prime reason why you have to constantly adapt and pivot and everything?

Well, I think, first of all, we're very grateful that I have found employment at each duty station. Working in health care, I've worked across the spectrum, like direct patient care, to in day spas to research to now in healthcare leadership, but so we're always grateful, when I do have an opportunity to impact the world outside of our home, because he knows it means a lot to me. So I'm grateful for every position I've held no matter how it's looked or how it's paid. Which is also a reality of being a military spouse sometimes, early on in my career, but he honestly has made a lot of sacrifices in his career. Now, years later, we ebb and flow. And I've, you know, had my opportunity to earn my master's, and gives me a lot of space now in my current healthcare leadership position. So he's made, he transitioned out of combat aviation into the acquisition Corps. So he does deploy as much and he misses flying, we joke that he flies a desk now, but you know, I would say he has made a lot of sacrifices as well, because I know how much aviation needs to him. Yeah, I

think that speaks a lot. jennylyn I thought I'd ask you as well, like, I know, like, Matthew is a big advocate of our show, and is trying to market for us. But I never really asked like from you also directly, like, how does Matthew feel about like, just knowing that his career sort of the direct result of you having to pivot? I mean, obviously, you love what you do today, but like, how does he feel? How does he felt about that?

I mean, I would have said probably earlier on in our marriage, this was a hot topic isn't Do not touch, like, this is not something we're going to like not on here. But like between the two of us was he and I, because I was a teacher, and you have to license in every state to teach. And that wasn't necessarily something doable in the life stages we were in when we moved. And so I did give up my career Early on in his career and our marriage and having two kids back to back. And there were several years that I didn't work, and they were really hard for me. And I just kind of went with Well, this is what we do, because we're a military family, like I have zero control over where the Navy is gonna send us and so I'll just do whatever's in front of me. And for a while that was being a stay at home mom, which wasn't necessarily the most fulfilling for me. And so I ended up being involved in a lot of volunteer opportunities and things like that that gave me I think the leadership role I was looking for. Now, I mean, as our kids have gotten older, and we've, you know, stayed in places longer. I've definitely had more flexibility in doing something and you know, Matthew is my biggest cheerleader. I mean, I will say that he is my biggest cheerleader, and all that I do, whether it be writing or podcasting, or you know, mental health advocacy, he is 100% behind it. And also it's still sometimes a heart I mean, we're we're staring down a PCs here in a couple months and it's one of those like, I really love my job, and I we're not sure how flexible that's going to be and moving cross country so you know, he's my biggest cheerleader and also the military does impact what I do to some extent.

Yeah,

yeah. You know, I think we're in. I don't know, just when I see, you know, happening in terms of military spouse employment, I think we're getting over the hill, I see a lot of opportunities, a lot of really amazing organizations, a lot of resources to help become entrepreneurs. But you know, having been an entrepreneur, it's still these relocations aren't going anywhere. And, you know, running your own business is hard, and just depends on the licensure thing I can totally relate to that like going from this being at the cutting edge of the industry of sports, medical massage therapy, I moved up to New York, and the license didn't transfer. And they were like, go back to basic massage school. And I'm like, I'm finishing my bachelor's in sports science kind of thing. So, you know, by the time you move, it doesn't you can't get lice in there. So it is this is just licensure is a really big struggle. And that's not going anywhere, unfortunately. But I think the resources are really building up right now, which I'm really excited to see. Because I I hope that you know, Jenny Lynn and I's journey won't, won't look like that for military spouses down the road, not quite as bad. Like, we don't have to look at each other in the eye and say, why are you working again, like this makes no sense. We're, you know, we're moving or I just had a lot of people tell me to give up. And that's why I say fierce because I'm going to go out thinking and screaming, it sounds like jennylyn is to we're gonna do something right. We're going to impact this world Pater. And

it's true. I've learned the art of flexibility and resilience. And figuring out that what I really love to do is something I would have never come across if I weren't a military spouse. And that makes me exceptionally grateful for the opportunities I have today. Because the stuff I do now, like even being on this podcast is not even something I could have dreamt that that's what I was going to do with my business degree. And then my elementary education degree.

Absolutely. That'd be funny. Like you go to like Career Day, like for your kids. And you say like, I'm a podcaster. Like, oh, what does it take to be a podcaster? Oh, well, you know, you got to go to school. You got to get a master's degree. Actually, no, you actually didn't need all that. But that's the journey I took to end up here today.

Correct? Correct.

Yeah, I would have never thought I'd be an author and

book came out of me. You know, it's

like, well, yeah, no, absolutely.

Well, speaking

of that, Louise, I did want to go into that next. So that was a good segue to our next topic here. As I mentioned, at the beginning, you are the author of the best selling book, The Art of breaking through five simple steps to take on any challenge and tackle self doubt. As I was reading through your bio, I felt like the word breaking through was like such a common theme. And it was like just constantly like mentioned. So let me start with just the phrase breaking through what is breaking through mean for you? For me,

it means coming out on the other side of an obstacle. And it's, you know, there's dark moments along the way, but you make it to the light. And maybe that light is a lesson learned me that light is actually achieving a goal that you said, maybe it's just more of an acceptance around a really, I guess, for lack of words, traumatic obstacle that you went through, you know, seeing that life lesson that you can take and apply and be a better person because of and obstacles. I think it's just, we get through that ugliness, that darkness, that initial pain, we get through the struggle along the way, and then we're there at that light. And life's just a little bit better or a little bit stronger because of that

obstacle.

Wow, that's a great description. I really like that. Thank you.

where that came from?

Yeah, no, I'm sure it was like very, at least the title itself, the order breaking through, I can imagine it was very well thought out. As I mentioned, as I was reading through bio, I think it's just you know, you are kind of like the epitome of the art of breaking through obstacles. And so actually, let me ask this question first, who do you feel like would benefit most from your book? Yeah, I

mean, military spouses, we were just, it's obstacle after obstacle, whether it's our career, whether it's losing friends in combat, whether it's trying to juggle a relocation and the hardest pandemic, being a mom without a husband present. And these are all things that I share in the book. And the biggest thing is, it's not about my struggles. It's about the struggles of the reader, and giving them a simple and realistic way to break through their own challenges. So finding that individualized way that works best for them. But at the same time, I can share some of those struggles of what realistic life examples if you will, so it's like you can understand and see how you could use these five steps in the process.

Yeah, well, let's go through some of those five steps. I mean, whether you want to explain them or not, I mean, I think we have like time for it. But yeah, let's share some of the takeaways that our listeners can look forward to reading more in depth to when they choose to get your book, what's the first simple step that you want to share with us today?

To find your challenge and why you want to see it through? And I know that sounds very simple, but you know, the reason why can change so much. When I was in my master's program, my husband was away for four months. And it was in this thesis writing, you know, capstone course. And I had a brand new baby, and my husband and three year old. And so it was like, I thought the reason why I wanted to earn a degree was because I was doing it for my kids. I heard that's what other moms were saying who were earning degrees. But it wasn't until I realized, the reason why I wanted to break through that challenge was because I wanted to impact the world outside of my family, that I got that energetic

spark

to drive on. So it doesn't matter what the Why is it just matters that it's non negotiable reason why you will see this challenge through means something to you.

Yeah, I really, I really like that, that reminds me of the way that I interpret that for myself is I'm the kind of person who doesn't necessarily set goals, but intentions, you know, saying it's my intention to like, you know, foster community and connection through conversations and storytelling. I don't know how that ends up playing out. But it has, for example, manifested in something like podcasting. But the thing is, podcasting might go away one day, I mean, I feel like anytime soon, but you never know. But either way, it's like that intention is still I'm still going to find a way to do that one way or the other. And so I think just kind of like, overall, what you're saying and what I what I resonate with is just knowing what your why is and like, you know, why you do what you do. And I think like the how tos will sort of figure itself out?

Absolutely. It's the mindset first, right? So we optimize performance when we can master competence in the face of uncertainty. And so the framework is this book, it's not going to tell you how to accomplish your goal, it's not going to tell you how to break through your challenge, but it's going to give you that quick process that you can go to in your head that makes you unstoppable,

powerful jennylyn Any thoughts?

Lots of thoughts. One, I just I appreciate the fact that you realized early on that you were not doing it for your kids, and that you had an intention that was beyond the four walls of your house. As a mom, myself, I often have struggled with, what do I want to leave both my kids and the world. And I often feel like there's a half two box of this is what you have to do inside your house. And really what I have learned in defining my own intentions and goals and things is that it really is much more outside my house and the bigger community. And I didn't come to that easily. My didn't come to that quickly. I mean, it's been cached, we still lived in Connecticut. So at least five years ago, you know, I started doing this thing. And it had you define like, what inside you like what really resonated with you. And the two words that kept coming up for me were community and belonging. And I do want that inside my home. But I also really want that outside my home, especially within the military community. And then also, you know, closing the gap between civilians and military members and community. And so I just really appreciate that you're like, hey, define that goal. And it doesn't have to look like everybody else's in the impact. You can dream big enough to want it to be outside your four walls, I think that's really important for military spouses to hear because we are very often the sidekick you know, the supporting role helping supporting doing stuff within our own community, but to get out there and be out outside the community, I think is it's great. And I appreciate you saying that.

Yeah. And I think, you know, this being the sidekick, it can look different. It doesn't have to look the same as the military family down the road. And it can look different in different stages of your life to like, I mean, I could have been just remained a massage therapist and just tried to stay in that industry. But, you know, I just redesigned I re engineered at every new duty station. And I think we all carry engineer as long as it's, it means something to you. It gives you that drive to wake up every morning and you feel like you're fulfilling your unique purpose in this world. Own it, like absolutely bring joy to yourself and your family and then the world around you. Right.

Right. Absolutely.

I love that holding down the fort for our family and For all just doing a shameless plug for our show. Awesome. Well, Louise, let us know what's the next step you'd like to share with us?

Well, I think one that every military spouse should have is creating an I'm a badass list. And this is writing down the obstacles that you have already seen through. Because all of these amazing challenges that we've previously faced, it's this beautiful reminder of a moment when we walked through fire, and we didn't give in. So we, when we really stopped to think about it, we have so many awesome life moments. But honestly, the pressures of military lifestyle, the fast pace of relocating the demands on our husbands the time apart, we can get so lost. And forget all of these amazing things. Like, let's be honest, we're separated half the time for holidays and celebrations. So we're not even celebrating the things we're supposed to celebrate, let alone ourselves. So it's a tool in the book used to help work through the five steps. But you know, this, just having this list alone is so important. I just want to encourage every military spouse to own they're badass, because we're so we're such incredible people.

I really love that advice. So much. Like, just like, I have a Trello board where I have like all my tasks. And once I have them done, I have like this complete pile. And I used to think like, Oh, I should just, you know, delete and stuff like that. But I like having it there. And it's like extremely long. Because it's a good reminder, like, I'll just scroll and it doesn't stop scrolling. And it reminds me like, Oh, I accomplished something in my life, you know, so I love that you encourage a badass list to remind yourself, like, what have you completed? Like, what have you accomplish? And it's like having that in mind, you know, especially when you're going through another transition or another time of struggle.

Yeah, definitely. And the other steps of the book, you know, are just identifying these go to phrases. So you take that I'm a badass list. And you think about the things that you've said to yourself during moments of pain or discouragement, when overcoming those obstacles. And so you already you identify that inner dialogue that has worked for you in the past, and you take it and you apply it to this current obstacle. And over time, like these five steps, you can actually it within minutes of time, that you have these phrases from your inner dialogue that's already pushed you through. And super simple. It can be I can do anything it can be I love I got this, especially being a competitive athlete, I use this framework in my training and my races as well. So it's physical pain, I need something very simple. It's I got this, but there's so many life moments where I've already used I got this, and it's like, Whoa, that is such a, my posture is gonna change, I'm immediately going to just be around relentless powerhouse. You know, over time, like you just draw on those inner strength, and, you know, mental approach in performance and athletic performance, and just life is essential is a game changer.

That's so powerful. Daniel, any thoughts?

I really wondered if she's actually a massage therapist, or more clinical therapist, all of those were very, very healthy and mental health tips. I mean, as you were talking, I thought about my own mental health journey and how many times that practice has been encouraged. I've just, yeah, right now it might feel hard, but look at all that you've come through. And that is not a practice that comes easily to me, which is why it's been suggested over and over and over. Because I get stuck in the moment of heart and go, Oh, my God, this is never gonna end. And I'm grateful for the reminders of but it did, like you've done this already. And so I actually have a notebook that sits on my desk. That's my successes notebook. And I write down things that have been successful for that very reason to remember that I can't do hard things, and not even just hard things, but I can do things I never thought I would do. And the result was good.

Yeah. And you know what you said, it's accepting, like you recognize that changes life. Right? Life is life is beautiful. But part of that beauty is darkness to, like obstacles come with darkness. But we've made it to the light so many times. And yeah, it's just it's amazing how resilient we can all be when we really just stop and realize.

Yeah, I'm curious to know, Louise, in addition to the inner dialogue of you saying I got this, what else do you tell yourself? I think that would be helpful to share with our listeners.

Yeah.

So

um, Let's see at one of the big ones is just take one more step in the right direction. Because I'd say looking back on my career, if there was anything that I continuously did to keep succeeding, it was just keep taking small steps. Like regardless of the obstacle, it was one more small step in the right direction. So I've used that I've applied that one in my high risk pregnancy, you know, I had a sticky note, and it just reminded me like drink, you know, one small step, what do I need to do I need to eat right today, drink some water move a little bit. So that was the one small step there. But, you know, I can apply that to a career journey as well. And one I think that might really resonate with the military, spouse and military community is when we lost one of our friends in combat at his at his funeral, the pastor said, live your life to the fullest because Terry no longer can, Terry, what's his name. And I honestly use that as a go to phrase probably multiple times per week. Because, you know, losing friends, so young, and that were just incredible human beings for this world. Like, you better bet I'm going to be an incredible, incredible human being for this world, because he would have been. And so if I'm not standing up, in his honor, that's how I cope with that loss. And so that's a huge go to phrase of mine is just living my life to the fullest because those who have gone before us in combat, no longer can't.

Wow, you know, that reminds me of why I do what I do. For a living the way that I honor my dad, I was only 10 when I had lost him and he was an active duty. Like, one thing that he gifted to me was just the ability to give someone undivided attention and emotional support. And I like to believe for myself that if I can do that for other people, and people feel that and appreciate that, it's like, like, I've done my job, you know, like, I've been able to carry on, like my dad's legacy. And that's how I continue to, I guess you can say more than him in a sense is like, like being that good, or that beacon of light for people. I'm not always good at it. Like don't ask God what he thinks of me sometimes. But when I do my best anyway, like that, that's what that reminded me of.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Um, wow. Well, you know, I think that this could be a good teaser for our listeners to figure out what the rest of the steps are by, you know, checking out your book, Louise. But I do want to make sure I've covered all my bases here. Is there anything else you do want people to know about your book?

Yeah, you know, I think that your show is all about sharing knowledge and resources with military spouses. And in finding those resources, it's encouraging us to find what works for us. So I just want to really encourage military spouses to find what works for them to own it. And you can be your own fierce military spouse, unstoppable, you know, it, just find what works for you. And if it looks different, that's okay. So with the book, I do have a free worksheet online. So that will give you a preview of the five steps at team Valentine project comm slash products. There are many products on the page, it's just the book and the free worksheet. So you can enjoy that as a preview of the books on Amazon. And I think you know, the biggest thing with that is it's a simple and it's a realistic way to take on challenges. So if you're looking for that, if you want to optimize time and energy, with a really short, concise book, that's who it's for, right? You can kind of read it on lunch. And I use this background in health communication, and, you know, nutrition, wellness, public health and make it realistic, simple, and actionable.

So that's my goal with that. Very cool. I appreciate you encouraging our spouses and families to find what works for them. That's really what the heart of the show is about is like, yes, you have like government options, I think. I mean, it's kind of debatable sometimes, but like you have like certain options that you are aware of, but there are also other like one thing I was talking about with my husband the other day on his like, new talk show that I guess we're doing every Mondays now, so that's gonna be great. I got to wear makeup everyday now, so that's fun. No, I'm just I'm okay with it. But uh, okay, so we were sharing this analogy of like, all your life, you may have been aware of like a powdered shake. Like, you know, you think about like, if you want to make a green shake, there's like a powdered version. But did you know that you could also grow your own vegetables and create like, actually use real vegetables to make your smoothie. And it's not that the powder drink is bad. It's just that there could be better options, it's just not always talked about, or it's not always like, you know, put front and center or people are inundated with, you know too much information to really see it. And so I think that when the mind is ready when you're ready to be open to new resources, and new, you know, knowledge and education, a show like this is an outlet or an option for them to be open to what's available. And so I appreciate you just saying, like, you know, you got to find what works for you. And, you know, hopefully it's this book or this worksheet, but you know, if not, that's okay, too, but just know that it's there, and that you do have options, and you can really, truly find what works for you in this crazy life of the military. Absolutely, I'd

say number one thing takeaway, don't forget that we all hold an amazing superpower. And that's the ability to rewrite our story. At any point in time. No matter how ugly it is, I just want you to know that you can tap into your inner greatness anytime you need it. So maybe it's not my five steps, my five simple you know, in realistic steps,

but have that way to tap into your inner greatness. And just keep writing that story and recognize that superpower,

lovely, dropped the mic, we're done. No,

I was gonna say that was Spoken like a true writer. That is something that I use often in my writing life is the you can always rewrite the story. And it for me that really has been helpful in my military spouse life to look at some of the challenges and traumas that we've been through as a military family and go, this happened, and doesn't have to be our defining factor, we can move forward, and we can rewrite how we want the rest to go.

Louise, let us know how can people find you online. So I have a website. It's

team Valentine project.com. And you can find the book there. As well as that free worksheet, our new book tab, the website itself shares simple and realistic wellness blog articles. So again, all with that theme of finding what works for you. But throughout my years of experience working across many domains of healthcare, here's what I've learned some tips, tricks and tools. And so I, you know, I do talk about physical activity, my life is a competitive athlete, even now in like healthcare, leadership, and all the way back to those NFL, you know, training days and working with pro athletes. So it's a nice little space where I can share simple and realistic ways to make wellness work. And then I have at team Valentine project, Instagram, and Facebook, and also on LinkedIn, as a professional

can connect with me there. Yeah, we didn't even talk about you being an athlete, and everything. But again, you know, that's why our listeners are gonna look you up to learn more about you. So

there you go. Yes. And that's a way that you can get your husband to read the art of breaking through, as I do speak to, you know, this, you know, working with NFL players, and I speak to a background in helping having this competitive edge as well, optimizing performance, which I know resonates with most service members.

Oh, yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure he'll be into it for sure. I'm going to like share this with him afterward. Luis, wow. It's been great having you. Thank you again, so much for joining us here on holding down the fort. Oh, thank you. It

was so wonderful to be here. And I'm so excited to keep listening to your show and hearing all of the amazing spouses and those who are advocating for the community. There's just so many resources. So I've no doubt I will find what works for me on your show.

Oh, good. Glad to hear it. Yeah, I'm super grateful for all of the incredible people who come to our show, and even Jenny Lynn and other people you brought on so far. So it's just been this beautiful collective effort to provide these resources and connections and people to our community. And I think ultimately to remind us all that we're not alone and it's okay to ask for help and everything. So thanks again, Louise for being a part of that.

Thank you