In episode one of season nine of the Loveshaped Life podcast, Bob and Nathan dive into Matthew 7, commonly recognized as part of Jesus's Sermon on the Mount or inaugural address. Rather than treating judgment as a simple behavior to avoid, the hosts explore how Jesus exposes an entire operating system built on criticism, comparison, and self-protection — and offers something radically different in its place.

The conversation contrasts a self-centered way of relating, driven by rules and quiet condemnation, with a God-centered life shaped by grace, mercy, compassion, and humility. But the real shift happens through four practices: cultivating self-awareness before engaging others, communicating mindfully by becoming quick to hear and slow to speak, engaging authentically through curiosity and real listening, and creating respectful boundaries without losing compassion. The plank and the speck become a picture of moral blindness, while the warning about pearls before pigs reframes discretion not as withholding truth, but as protecting both people and message through wisdom and timing.

Listeners walk away with a practical framework for love-shaped relationships. Prayer and honest self-reflection clear the way for seeing yourself and others accurately. Listening with real curiosity instead of judgment transforms how you show up in conversations. Knowing when to step back rather than force a conversation becomes an act of love itself. The episode invites anyone tired of criticism-fueled relationships to consider a different way of seeing — one shaped less by self-righteousness and more by these four practices that honor both grace and wisdom.

For more information: loveshaped.life

Jesus said, “Don't cast your pearls.” Don't cast these the beautiful teachings of God before swine. In other words, before people who aren't interested in receiving it at all, right? You know, like the religious leaders of the day. At that point, we don't know what happened to them later on in their life. We're just looking at examples in Scripture. Oftentimes, at that point, they weren't interested in anything that Jesus was seeking to tell them. They were plotting to kill him. These were religious leaders who would watch him like heal the sick, cleanse a leopard, you know, forgive whatever, and and it made them angry.

Yeah.

Instead of like being like, wow! Look at the power of God working through this individual, and look at the kindness that He's showing to other human beings. It made them angry, and they wanted to kill.

Hey, I'm Nathan, and I want to welcome you back to the Loveshaped Life podcast, where we talk about our dream to see, experience, and live in the wonder of God's love. We're in season nine, episode one, and I'm in the studio today with my good friend Bob. Bob, it's good to be back and recording a ninth season. It's hard to believe that we're just one season away from 10 seasons of podcasting.

Yeah. Well, first off, it's great to be back in the studio with you, and always a pleasure to share the beauty of God's character with you and with others. And in regard to the 10th season, time goes by, and we're just grateful for where we come from, and also grateful for our production guy, Elton.

Yep. And for anybody watching, we're not technically 10 seasons in for the Loveshaped Life podcast in this style. Our first few seasons included, I think, two or three seasons of our story sessions. So now we've transitioned to a different those stories to a different podcast channel, but they are counted in that. So if someone's looking, technically we haven't sat down 10 times, nine times in a row, but we are counting it as season nine based on our old metrics. So today we're looking to today, or in this episode, in this season, we're looking to finish up Jesus' inaugural address. We began that several seasons ago, talking about how Jesus lays out for human beings the the rhythms, the way of His kingdom. He had gained a huge crowd. They were coming from all regions to hear the teaching and especially experience the healing ministry of Jesus, and so he was getting to that place where he needed his disciples to understand that what he was doing was grounded in different principles than what they had witnessed in either the empire or in their own nation. And so Jesus gives earlier in his ministry gives this this powerful address, where he lays out for his disciples and the larger crowd the principles of his kingdom, so they understand that what he's working on building is totally different from anything they have ever known.

Yeah, and it was like night and day. I mean, he totally shattered the religion of the day. He just literally obliterated it because their their perceptions of God, their ways of what they felt was serving God, he totally just destroyed it all. He flips it, and so it was. I can't imagine being in the crowd because it was it was a total shock. They were hoping he was going to set up an earthly kingdom, destroy the Roman Empire, and he comes up to talk about the spiritual kingdom, talks about the principles, like you said, of of being meek and merciful, and you know, he he just laid it out what really matters in God's eyes.

So those were not principles that make for a great empire, at least not the way Rome built empires, and they were they were expecting a Messiah who would come and deliver them from the Romans, and even subjugate the Romans. So, for Jesus to give them a completely different way of living, that really turned the world as they knew it on its head. So, well,

just remember, earthly empires are built on power and might, and so Jesus again he flips it and he establishes his kingdom, which is built on the principle of love, which was for everyone, not just one dominating group to to to lord over or rule over other people. They were all to be servants of each other, and that that again just blew their whole perceptions away. But the the picture that God that Jesus was establishing about God was absolutely beautiful. Impacted their life is still impacting millions of people today.

It is, and so we're going to move right in in just a moment. We're looking through this inaugural address, and there's basically I have five basic pieces in the inaugural address. The first section. Often called the Beatitudes, lays out the the seven dynamics of of how human beings are transformed to love like God loves, and then the second section, Jesus is directly addressing how his way of life is different from the the legal explanations that the people were familiar with from their religious teachers, and then the third third section is Jesus pointing out contrasts between his way of life and the religious like practices or disciplines of the day. So we talked about prayer, and I think that was last season, fasting and fasting, and how Jesus contrasts the way he intends people to experience them transformatively, and with the way they were practiced as a way to get to to get attention and and public recognition, and then the the fourth section, which is where we're kind of jumping into the middle of is Jesus gives these these direct pieces of guidance. Don't lay up for yourselves treasures. He he talks about several others where he gives specific guidance about actions like when you communicate with others. Just say yes or no. Don't use oaths and things like that. We've covered that in a different episode, and so we're jumping into that section. And I think we might as well read it, unless you had anything else you wanted to say before we get to that point. Let's

go ahead and read it.

So jumping in, do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye, and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, “Let me take the speck out of your eye, when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite! First take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye. Do not give dogs what is sacred. Do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet and turn and tear you to pieces.” So three, three specific direct pieces of guidance Jesus gives all of these. By the way, are in Matthew seven. If you want to follow along,

so do not judge, lest ye be judged. I mean, obviously it was a big problem, and Jesus wanted to address it. The question is, is there a problem today?

I know, and that's for me. I would say this one, as I was thinking about this episode, this is one that I feel I have a pretty good skill at being a judge and a critic. It comes-I don't know if it's comes more naturally to me than others, but I feel like I'm pretty good at it. And often, can you be good at something that's not really a good thing to be good at?

You can, but it's not something to be proud of, but that is the truth about me, though. Yeah, well, I think it's pretty much common to all of us, right? We have a tendency to judge others, you know. Just looking at the political arena, not that that it's us as well. But you look at the political arena; it's usually get as much dirt as you can on your opponent, and then just crucify them, right? Yeah. So people are attracted to that, and then then oftentimes we follow the leader, right? So people are judging other people, and here Jesus is addressing the matter, and he says, “Judge not, lest you be judged.” And you know, it's in verse two where he says that here in Matthew chapter seven, and it says, “For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged, and with what measure you use, will be measured to you again.” So Jesus is like, Okay, if you want to be your own standard of judgment and judge other human beings by it, I'm going to measure you the same way. If you're good with that, then that's going to be the measuring rod that you're going to be judged with, you know, which is pretty sobering because I'm not sure I'd want to be judged by the way I judge other people, right?

Right. Well, and I think he was also talking about this idea that if you if if I am coming into like a setting with other people. Let's just use social media for example. If in my social media I'm really critical of others, I blast people with little either direct messages or posts, or I comment on their post. If if that's the attitude I bring into a conversation, then that's the attitude I'm going to receive back. So let's say a great example is marriage. If I'm nitpicking my spouse, what's going to happen is I'm going to encourage a culture in my marriage relationship of being nit. Picked back, and and I think that's at least a part of what when I read this, what Jesus was telling them is just this very practical thing that if you bring in a spirit of criticism, an attitude of criticism, you're going to create that culture and begin to experience it yourself.

Yeah, it's the principles of we reap what we sow, right? That's what you're sowing. That's what you're going to reap. And and if you're if you're doing that with your spouse, chances are you're going to get it back. And then your children are beholding you and watching what you're doing, and they'll develop the same habit. And so it goes with humanity. And it often escalates. It often escalates. But you know, I want to back up just a little bit because if you look at the storyline of the Gospels, you'll see that the religious leaders of the day would follow Jesus around, and they would-they were always seeking to judge him, true, and and criticize him and measure him according to the way they thought that he should be behaving, the way they thought he should be like respecting the rules that they had created towards God, and when He wasn't, which just about all the time He wasn't, they were just constantly criticizing Him. Like for example, He healed when He healed on the Sabbath, and they were hanging around watching. They would just make a big issue out of it and and and try to say that He was breaking the Sabbath because he was healing somebody, so they they saw it as work, you know. Where so they were doing it, and then what happened was, as leaders go, so goes the people. The people were doing it the same thing. Right, right. They they became. Jesus is saying, this is not cool. Judge not, lest you be judged. This has to stop.

You know, and I think there was a risk in in this sermon. There's this almost a double-edged sword. On one hand, Jesus is giving moral guidance. the The potential for human beings is we can take that moral guidance and instead of experiencing and applying it ourselves, we can look at everybody else around us who needs to do that thing? So, and you mentioned, I mean, you know, as a pastor, I spent 20 some years in pulpit ministry, and there were plenty of times where the thing I was teaching up front was not entirely reflected in my home life, and so it's easy to get up and dress someone else down. Easy to hold up this this standard of morality and call people out for not meeting it, while I'm excusing my own behavior, whatever. Giving myself, well, I'm human, or well, I couldn't help at that time. Giving myself the latitude to color outside the lines, while I expect the people around me to be true to the moral expectations that I'm laying on

them.

So Jesus, I think, was needing to confront that. He's like, I'm not giving you this so you can one up the person next to you. If you take it with that in mind, you're going to create a culture that is going to be anti-kingdom.

Yeah, but when you when you look at it, you'll see that again. The Jesus came to teach the good news, right? What he called the gospel. This was the good news, and we see that there's a the beauty of who God is, and that He's for us. He's not against us, and that He is the one who is ultimately seeking to save us from the condition that we're in, it's all a gift from God. And so, when you receive a gift and you really realize that it's a gift, you're grateful. Your heart responds with gratitude. But when you're taught a picture of God, where it's an appeasement type picture of God, where you have to follow the rules in order to get favor with God, so He doesn't punish you. It it tends to focus on yourself, right? And so it becomes a self-centered religious experience. And as a result of that, we we we're self-centered. So therefore, we become the critics of other people because they're not measuring up to our standards. So they were taught something that was false by the religious leaders of the day, and it was reflecting in their life. And Jesus comes along to show them the true picture of God and show them what what the pathway back to God, which was really through Him ultimately, and how it was all a gift from God, so that their hearts would be full of gratitude, so that they would then look at each other through His eyes.

Right? See what I'm saying? Yeah.

If I'm forgiven as a gift, God wants me to forgive others. Right. If I'm showed mercy, God wants me to be merciful to others. If God is kind to me, He wants me to kind to others. So it's it's really a reflection of of how we see God.

Absolutely.

But what was happening again? Jesus obliterating the religious teachers of their what they taught and the religion of the day because it was false, and so it was it was changing the character of of the people that they weren't becoming citizens of the kingdom of heaven. They weren't becoming merciful and gracious and kind and compassionate. They were petty spies and. They were judging and and condemning other people. So Jesus is like this teaching: judge not, lest ye be judged. You know, you know, and then he goes on and he gives this illustration about you know first take the the beam out of your eye, and then you'll see clearly how to take the plank, no beam, and how to take the spec, thank you, spec out of the other eye. So there's this big right beam in our eye, and then there's a speck in the other eye. So, what do you think he was meaning by take the the beam out?

Well, I think it's pretty fascinating that he uses this this because you looked at the sermon and or this inaugural address, and there's times he uses metaphor or simile or something like that with salt and light, but then there's this really dramatic, especially as his as his in this last section of his of his address, he uses several of these very powerful. moments of imagery. So, so this one's pretty powerful. The log or beam was was like a telephone pole, and and Jesus used that in hyperbole for sure. But but to really illustrate that when I have an attitude of of pride, of arrogance, that it's equivalent of me having a telephone pole in my eye and trying, with that telephone pole in my eye, to get close enough to pull a little speck of lint out of someone else's eye. So the hyperbole is to illustrate that that that kind of critical spirit is a super serious problem that's anti kingdom and also distorts just fundamentally distorts the human being. That that that problem is way bigger and more serious than any problem I detect in anybody else.

Because he he did he said he called them hypocrites. Hypocrite. First take the beam out of your eye, and then he said, Then you'll see clearly how to take the speck out of your brother's eye, right? So that beam, then again, that's in us. The problem Jesus is saying the problem's inward. You got to instead of looking at the other person as the problem, take do some self-reflection, right? Because the bigger problem lies with your own heart, right? That you're setting yourself up as a standard for other human beings, right? Yeah. So that plank, right? That plank that was in their eye was their own pride. It maybe it was the way they were raised. Maybe it was their educational background. Maybe it was their economic background. Whatever the case may be, they set themselves up to their standards, and then they use that to judge other people,

right? Right? Yeah.

So Jesus is saying, “Hey, get rid of that, and then you're going to be able to see clearly.” I love that thought. So I want to be able to pause real quick because

I want to come to that. But I think it's fascinating. Two two questions that Jesus asks. The first one is why, and the second one is how. And the the first question catches my eye because Jesus asked this question, “Why do you look?” It's almost like he's asking them to do some introspection. Why is it? What's the motivation inside of you that leads you with this to overlook massive, massive personal need for growth, while you can pick at the lint in someone else's eye. He's like, What? What is it? What is it inside of you that leads you to dismiss your areas of need, your areas of violation, your areas of moral growth? What is it that leads you to overlook that of as if it's insignificant, while and then to see insignificant issues in others, what's going on inside of you?

It's a beautiful question, and I love the way Jesus does. He asks questions

to

get the people to think

right.

But but ultimately, what was going on inside of them was they were still full of the effect that sin had caused on the human heart. So they were still full of themselves.

Right,

self was still at the center. It didn't matter what religious covering they had on. Right, they were still full of selfishness. Yes, yeah, yeah. And so, as a result of that, they they were very selfish to other people. And so, Jesus was trying to to help them to see that, and so that that could be broken up because He was the savior of the world, and only he can change the heart and create in us this new heart that's capable of loving from his perspective, which is an other-centered perspective instead of a self-centered perspective. So the core of our being is self-centeredness, right? So the core of judging others and criticizing others is really the root of it is self, right? We have set ourselves up in our own ways to as a standard by measuring others instead of allowing the character of God to be the standard by which we see other people through. You see, so so if we're seeing other people through the character of God. Then we're exercising compassion,

right?

Mercy, kindness, just like He does to us, because that's who God is. Absolutely, because God sees all of our faults. He sees all of our faults and still loves us.

Right. He sees all of our faults and

reaches out a helping hand.

Right. Right.

He doesn't like, you know, speak words of condemnation and pushing you away, he's he's merciful, he's gracious, he's compassionate. It's who he is. So Jesus is trying to get them to see that. So they so the the operating mechanism inside of them is God.

Well, and that's addressed already in this in this inaugural address. He's gone through very specifically the steps toward and the call to reflecting him. You know, I think about just in my own life how whether it's with peers in the in in my work as a chaplain, whether it's with in my own family, whether it's with colleagues, my tendency to think really highly of my own opinion, and to and to to critique the opinions and perspectives and decisions of others, and feel pretty good about the the perspective I have, and feel pretty good that my stands better than others. One example that helps bring me down to earth periodically is I remember, and I may have mentioned on the podcast before, but I remember we had just got chickens, and I was going to put up a chicken enclosure, and I had this this fantastic idea of putting two two thin wires about this far part, about that high off the ground, around the enclosure. That somehow I would trick the chickens into staying inside the enclosure. I really truly-it's okay to laugh. I really, truly believe that would work, and I and it. But it's a good reminder to to to realize that I can get stuff in my own head that's completely wonky and feel like I'm on the right track. And and so for me, it's one of those those stories that helps remind me that in the moment of feeling really good about an opinion I have, I could be totally off the map, just like I was with thinking that chickens can be contained by two wires less than two feet off the ground.

Yeah, that's just our natural tendency to be full of ourselves, right? But again, back to when we encounter Jesus for who He really is, you know, and I'm giving an example of one of the authors of the New Testament. His name was Paul because he was full of himself. He was a Pharisee and he was converted, so he was full of himself before he met Christ, and then he met Jesus. and And here's what he said: He said, “I'm indebted to the Jew and to the Greek.” Right? He felt that because of what God had did for him, and looking beyond all of his his religious, what we would call self righteousness, right? Looking beyond all of that, and and seeing that he was a value in God's eyes, and that God created a circumstance to open his eyes that he might really see Jesus for who he was, that led him to feel indebted, and this is what God wants us to see. That when our eyes are open to see what what God has really done for us, then we're going to feel indebted

to

a fellow human being. And and and so daily as we spend time in the presence of God, we live in the presence of God. God will keep things in perspective for us, right? Right. From from us exalting ourselves to us being playing the role of a servant, living the role of a servant, and just seeking to lift up our coworkers. Even though your idea may be better than theirs, but how can how can even if it is, it's how can I help them grow instead of how instead of taking a position of value, guys just aren't smart as me. You know what I'm saying? It's how can I help you grow?

Exactly.

So again, I think the taking the the plank out. Don't use your your own ideas, your own opinions as a standard to judge others, right? And this is what turns a lot of religious, a lot of not religious turns a lot of people off to religion today, is they feel condemned. If you listen to them, they feel condemned around religious people. Why is that? They're not wrong, but why do you think they would feel that way?

Same attitude of self interest and self importance, and and and not only that, I think what really drives it in is that onlookers can see that while some said religious person may call out a neighbor for this behavior, or call out a political party on social media for this behavior, that they're doing something almost the same, just a little maybe in a. Little different way, so this great we call it hypocrisy or duplicity. Like it's pretty obvious to someone who's looking from the outside to often recognize that there's great contrast between what is said loudly and what is actually done.

That's it, you know. And again, it's because we're not operating from God's operating system, which is who He is. It is that becomes the foundation for all of our decision making. That becomes the lens by which we not only see God through, but we see other people through. That's the lens that He wants us to see through. It's really a simple thing. It's not a complicated thing. So, so I want to go back to it's simple in the in the in the in the thought process of the experience, but we make it complicated because of our our unwillingness to let go and allow God to do His work in us. Yeah, you see what I'm saying. So so I want to go back to first remove the plank out of your eye, then you see clearly. Can we go on to that now? We can. Yeah, let's go. Okay. Do you want to talk about? So, you know, he's saying, you know, do some self-reflection, right? And then first take the beam out of your eye, then you'll see clearly. Right. You know, my wife and I, in our journey of marriage, we have times where we don't agree with each other, and sometimes

surprising how that happens.

And sometimes those times can get pretty intense, right? So there's a tension there, right? So I've sought to, by the grace of God, when those things are happening, go in the other room and I pray and I ask God to take the beam out of my eye, so I can see clearly how to take the the twig out of my wife's eye because I'm praying because I realize the according to Jesus when we're in when we're in contention oftentimes the problem can be lying with ourselves right right gets in the way and all of a sudden we're we're stuck on our own way and we're just stuck right so when I go in the other room and I pray God softens my heart, and he helps, and he opens my eyes to see how I can approach my wife better. You see what I'm saying? So, so there's this process of self awareness, dealing with with my own heart, and then the ability to see.

Right,

because really, what what Jesus was saying is you're blind when you're caught up in your own self centered living. You can't see

exactly. So the problem we think we're fixing, we're actually not even capable of seeing, let alone fixing. Yeah, when we're full of ourselves. Oh

yeah, there's that little saying that you know you can win an argument, lose a friend,

right?

And what is it that really matters in God's eyes? And that's relationships.

Huge, huge,

huge.

I think we should go to the last saying, and then we're going to do some some recaps and some a little bit more application here. And that last saying is, it's a bit of an abrasive. It comes across abrasive. Legito says, “Don't give dogs what is sacred. Don't throw your pearls to pigs. If they do [if you do] they may trample them under their feet and turn and tear you to pieces.” What was Jesus? What was Jesus talking about? Why? Why this very? It's it's a pretty direct pearls and dogs, swine and dogs, pig and pigs and dogs here. What's he talking about? The

pearls were the teachings of Jesus. Okay, he was what he was teaching them right to be merciful, to be compassionate, to be you know to forgive. This is what he was teaching them. What really mattered in God's eyes to approach God by calling Him your Father. That was all mind blowing stuff for them. That the religious people today weren't teaching them that. Right. Right. So so Jesus said, “Don't cast your pearls.” Don't cast these the beautiful teachings of God before swine, or in other words, before people who aren't interested in receiving it at all. Right? You know, like the religious leaders of the day. At that point, we don't know what happened to them later on in their life. We're just looking at examples in Scripture. Oftentimes, at that point, they weren't interested in anything that Jesus was seeking to tell them. They were plotting to kill him. These were religious leaders who would watch him like heal the sick, cleanse a leopard, you know, forgive whatever, and and it made them angry.

Yeah.

Instead of like being like, wow, look at the power of God working through this individual, and look at the kindness that He's showing to other human beings. It made them angry, and they wanted to kill.

Yeah.

So there was no sense, you know. Jesus loved them, and He sought to reach them. As we read the stories, He wasn't. They weren't His. For Him, it wasn't His enemy. They weren't His enemy. Right. He was their enemy, but he still cared for them. So Jesus was still trying to reach them, but he realized that he was limited in what he could share with them because they just wanted to take whatever he said and twist it and turn it and and try to flip it so that the crowd would get on Jesus.

Right, right. And you know what I'm saying?

So so when he sorry when he's saying don't cast your pearls before. He's saying, you know, just be wise, you know, about you know there are times and situations where it's best not to,

right,

you know, share what you need to share in depth because if people don't want to receive it, then don't do it. Well, yeah,

and I mean, I can think of times where a person you know they've been to this seminar and it's super insightful. It's illuminating. That makes a lot of sense to them. In fact, they start to experience personal change and they go home all excited, or they go to their workplace all excited, and they're like, “Look what I just learned!” And the people are like, just really like turned off or pushed back. Or so I wonder if part of it was Jesus. You know, here this crowd is there? They're just really soaking this up, and I wonder if part of it. I think there's two ways to to take this. I think one is part of it is protective for the people. You've heard what I'm telling you,

yeah,

and you love this. It's awakening some hope, some some joy in your heart. But be careful because not everybody is going to hear what I've told you is going to hear the concepts that you've embraced. Not everybody wants to hear them, so part of it's protective. Be be thoughtful about who you share this with, and then I think the second part is it's also just wise counsel to those moments where two people are in a heated exchange. That's probably not the time to have a productive conversation about X, Y, and Z. Let that calm down and use discretion as far as maybe if you want to give a coworker a tip for improving their job process. Don't do it when you're loggerheads over something. Wait till you're in a better space, a more positive space, and test the waters with a new idea. So, so I think there's a lot of dimensionality here. First, about Jesus saying, you know, don't put beautiful truth that you're coming to appreciate, beautiful insights that you're coming to value. Don't just assume that anybody else you see is going to want to hear them. Use discretion there. And then the second one is just discretion. Your everyday interactions. Not every moment and every every encounter is the time to share what's on your mind. Yeah,

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Loveshaped Life, your partner in the journey of seeing, experiencing, and living God's love. I'm going in a little different direction, right? So back to where I was coming from on that. There was a Jesus was encountering the Pharisees later on, and he gives this story about talking about don't don't you can't take new wine and put it into an old wine sack because it'll it'll burst, right? You can't take an old cloth and put it onto a new garment because it'll tear, right? He was talking about what he was teaching was so radically different from what the religious people of the day were teaching about God that the two couldn't mix. There was no mixing of it. They had to get rid of all the their their traditions and their rules and their perspectives about God. They had to switch, and so it's the same. You know, don't cast your pearls before swine. Sometimes we, out of even out of our the goodness of our heart, we think we can go and mend things and

put

things maybe in certain religious contexts to to work, and we got to do our best to work with people. There's no doubt about it. But oftentimes, it's just don't don't bother putting a new wine into old wine sacks because it's just not going to work. It's going to burst. Right,

right. So it could be then in a religious context, maybe what I'm experiencing with God, experiencing from Scripture. I want to take it back to if we're talking about a specific Christian context, take it back to my pastor. Well, and so Jesus would be saying, “Be careful! Not every person wants to hear what's spiritually illuminating to you.” I can think of a workplace where, in the workplace, I may come to understand whether it's through some something I'm doing at school, or through a training program, that I really want my boss to see this new paradigm for running the office, and Jesus' counsel applies there as well. To be to to be thoughtful that maybe it's never going to happen in my workplace. Maybe my boss is never going to be open to a new idea, and. And instead of putting myself out there, and in my great sincerity believing that it's going to come off with great insight, it is okay and even important for us to think about using discretion so that we don't put ourselves out to get trampled on. Just because we have a great insight doesn't mean we need to become martyrs or sacrificial animals by putting it out to everybody we see. So I think that's a beautiful teaching of just looking out for even the protection, our own protection, our own emotional protection means that we don't have to put everything out there that's good for us and maybe good in the world. We don't have to put it out there for everybody, for somebody else, I should say, to trample and belittle and throw back in our face. So I think we should talk about some of the practical sides. We've talked about a lot of a lot of pieces here, but let's think of there's these four ways that I think are helpful for us to kind of distill the the judge knot the don't have a log in your eye and try to take a little piece of lint out, and then that last one of don't tell everybody the good news in your heart because not everybody's ready to receive it. Four principles I think are helpful. The first is engaging with self-awareness. What do you think about that as a concept, like a takeaway from these three points that we've talked about today?

Well, again, the principle of take the beam out of your eye first, right? It's there has to be a self awareness, you know, and that oftentimes that good self awareness for all of us comes when we're in the presence of God, sitting in the presence of God, like I was sharing, I would go in the other room and pray, mentoring in the presence of God in a deeper way to commune with God about something, so that God gives you clear perspective, because only He can give you clear perspective.

Yeah, I think self awareness too can be engaging in conversation with curiosity, maybe someone is angry at me. Well, maybe instead of me retorting, maybe I should listen. Maybe there's actually some accuracy in what they're saying, and I'm just not ready to hear it. So, so I think another piece is that curiosity of about myself, because one of the things I do is that's helpful for me. Is is time in the story of Jesus, allowing God to help me see the contrast between who I am and who Jesus is, and what the like the distance between how we treat people, and so that helps to. I like it when that's the way I start my day because it helps to set the orientation of my day of treating people more aligned with the way of Jesus, less aligned with me. I also will, in just taking that time, take time to reflect on conversations I've had, interactions I've had, and just be really curious. Why did this person respond to me that way, or why are these feelings coming up toward this coworker, what's going on inside of me? So I think even sitting out with a therapist can be helpful-a time to have a conversation where we are willing to let our hearts be exposed. And I think God uses God uses prayer, no doubt. God uses encounters with other people that that rub us the wrong way, God's able to work through those, and God's able to work through professionals who have spent a lifetime of training. All of these pieces, God's able to use them to help me become more aware of who I am and how I bring myself into every encounter. Because I'm showing up in every encounter, I'm showing up with my baggage, with what's invisible, with what's unseen, but it's coming out in how I listen, how my face shifts and changes.

Yeah, I just want to add to that that again, that the somebody asked me recently. They said, “How is it that you can look at life without viewing it through how you were raised or the religion that you went through and what they taught you, how do you how do you change your lens, so to speak?” And really, it's you know the good news of the gospel is Christ in you, the hope of glory. When you give your heart to Jesus and you're allowing Him to live in your heart, then he changes the way you look at things. He changes your lens, right? So the lens that we need to look at is the character of Jesus, right? So the healthiest self awareness you can have is by looking at him in his beauty, and it's not to say, “Oh no, I'm so far short of that, I'll never be like that.” No, it's to say that this is the pattern that he wants to not only produce in me for for me to live out how I how I treat others, how I react to situations. It's all right there. That simple,

right? And so one of the powerful tools, kind of the core thing that that we've that we're building love-shaped life. Around these four practices of see, meditate, accept, and rest, and they include something that's actually used in the sports world of imagination. So a skier, like a freestyle skier, before they go up and do these really complex jumps in the Olympics, will actually, in their imagination, they'll visualize the process of launching off the jump, how their body is going to rotate. There's this powerful principle that's actually talked about in in research and been talked about in in other circles called narrative immersion. And when we engage the gospel, the story of Jesus, imaginatively, we begin to shift our desires. Our our the way the the way we are wired on the inside actually begins to shift toward the way of Jesus when we spend time in that story, and that's part of what moves us past our own barriers and makes the story not something that's like a critic of who we are, but something that becomes a rebirth experience for us. So it becomes something that is taking root on the inside and then comes out more and more in our interactions with other people.

Yeah, it's the beauty of it. God invites every one of us to live in His presence and to sit in His presence. So when we choose to go there, to in a special way to be in His presence, it's it's the effect of Him working on our heart and our life. That's just the result of it. Yeah, it's not you trying to change your heart. It's not you trying to line yourself up with God. It's God changing your heart. Yes, and you're willing to allow that to happen because you're becoming a beautiful person.

Yes. So in in we have a blog and a weekly email, and our blog and weekly email will actually provide additional insight for applying the the insights that we're talking about from the teaching of Jesus in this week's episode. So if you sign up, subscribe at our website, loveshapelife, or you can go to loveshapelife forward slash blog, and as the episodes are released, there'll be some blog or weekly email insights that will reinforce. Three more principles, and then we're wrapping this up. Communicate mindfully, so simply thinking about before I say something, be thoughtful of what I'm saying. Be reflective of what's the motivation on the inside. Send up a prayer. God help me to think clearly about myself and about the situation. Keep my mouth shut if I don't need to say anything. Number three. Well, I want

to comment on that. The Bible has a principle: be quick to hear and slow to speak. Right, as human beings, we tend to be quick to speak and slow to hear. Right, so learning by the grace of God again, sitting in His presence, learning to just listen to people and take a deep breath oftentimes before we speak. I mean, I've gotten myself into more trouble by speaking before I listen,

yeah, huge. Me too, and one of the things that helps me is to come to relationships with curiosity. If the more curiosity I come with, the more likely I'm to listen rather than speak. The third one is engage authentically, so looking to have dialog rather than monolog, learning to engage in the dynamics of the relationship rather than it just being a one-way street of me telling somebody what I think they should do or what I think about what they are doing.

Again, God is other-centered, and you look at Jesus. He he he was truly interested in every human being he came in contact with, right? You know, there's I believe it's Dave Ramsey says it only takes 32nd, 13 seconds for somebody to be seen, known, and heard, right? So 13 seconds of you looking at that person, listening, whatever the case may be, to be seen, known, and heard. You know, and oftentimes we're so self absorbed, we're not engaging in others. But I just want to encourage everybody that's listening: as you truly live, seek to live Jesus's way by being engaged with other people. You're going to grow yourself, and your relationship with that person is going to

grow. You know, absolutely. And the final one is create respectful boundaries, and that has more to do with that last piece where Jesus said, “Don't cast your pearls before swine.” So create respectful boundaries of being aware of the timing of when I'm going to engage, when I'm not going to engage, of recognizing that it's okay for me to step back or for me to set up protective just boundaries so that I'm not putting myself into a place of danger or a place where a needless ridicule is going to come.

Yeah, again, just being wise, living life wise, and living in the moment, living in the situation. Right,

right. So. We're wrapping up. See, experience, and live. What do you see? Your big takeaway on the sea from this. Well,

and I take a deep breath here because I see a God that doesn't judge me in a negative sense in any way. I see a God that is for me and not against me, And forever indebted to a God that is like that. He it draws my heart to Him, and so what I'm seeing-that's what I'm seeing. I'm seeing Jesus said, “Judge not, lest ye be judged.” Right, and I see Him living out that example. I see that is an attribute of God that He's not judging and condemning people. Oftentimes, people have this picture of God that He's judging and condemning them, and that's not the picture of God. That's a false picture of God. God is for you; He's not against you. So, what do I see in there? That's what I see. I see the beauty of God, and then He wants to change my heart to live the same.

I would see one thing I appreciate is the practical wisdom of Jesus as well, and that for me is attractive in this this teaching, especially really stands out to me of how practical it is about the dynamics of human relationships.

Yeah. Again, you know, the the law of God, the very foundation of God's government, to love God with all of our heart and all of our mind and all our being, and our neighbor as ourselves. It's about relationships. There's a relationship with God. Is a relationship with each other. So God is mostly concerned about us in regard to our relationships with the people around us.

Right? Is that experience too, or did you have something to add for experience?

No, I'll leave that experience. Yeah.

Okay, and then live, live. Did you feel like that was covered in the the? You had made that comment about how God wants us to live. I think to to live like Him, the way He treats you without judgment.

Yeah. Well, I again back to one of the sayings of Jesus: “I have come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” You know that living in harmony with the ways of God, the teachings of Jesus, we find we find an abundant life. We find meaning, we find purpose, we find fulfillment, we find joy. Everything's there. Everything you want in life is found in Christ and in that relationship with Him. So living is, I'm forever grateful for the opportunity to be able to live in the presence of God and follow His ways. Therein is an abundant life.

Yeah, and I would agree with you. That's the way of abundance, flourishing. So remember, we are crowd funded. Anything you give helps us do what we do, and to advance the story of God in a beautiful way. Also, make sure you like and subscribe because every like and subscribe helps the reach of our channel. And until next time, lean into the love-shaped life.

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