In this heartwarming episode of The One Small Change, Yvonne McCoy sits down with Evelyn Rysdyk to explore the profound effect of small, meaningful connections and curiosity on our personal and professional lives. Evelyn Rysdyk shares her journey from growing up in a diverse, story-filled environment to discovering shamanic practices that helped her break free from depression and embrace creative living. The conversation dives into the importance of genuine human connection, releasing judgment, and how even simple gestures can create significant ripple effects. Listeners will walk away with actionable insights on building trust, unleashing creativity, and stepping beyond self-imposed limitations.

Guest Bio:

Evelyn Rysdyk is an accomplished author, teacher, and intuitive guide whose life’s work focuses on connecting people to their innate creativity and potential. With decades of experience supporting individuals and groups through transformational experiences, she brings a unique blend of ancient wisdom, shamanic practice, and compassionate insight to her sessions. Her approach is rooted in curiosity, deep listening, and a desire to help others embrace possibility and their authentic selves.

Chapters:

00:00 "Listening Shapes My Connection Skills"

04:07 "Listen and Be Curious"

10:02 "Seeking Healing Through Shamanism"

11:53 "Rediscovering Lost Drawing Salve"

16:28 "Rediscovering Boldness in Adulthood"

18:27 "Embrace Curiosity, Explore Possibilities"

22:30 "Creating Tangible Possibilities"

25:29 "Engage, Learn, Connect Playfully"

28:07 "Subscribe, Share, Grow Together"

Quote from the Guest:

“You are far more than you’ve been taught.”

Link:

Eye of the Storm: A Guided Journey for Strength, Grounding and Peace in Times of War and Political Unrest

https://www.spiritpassagesacademy.com/eye

Hello everybody, welcome again to The One Small Change.

I am so happy that you are spending time with me and that you want

to be on this journey of exploration and transformation. I'm your

host, Yvonne McCoy, and I bring almost 30 years of entrepreneurial

experience, and I have a passion for discovering growth

through the power of seemingly small change. And every

week I try to bring you somebody new that's going to come into your world

and help you on this journey. And this week we are talking

with Evelyn Rysdyk and she's going to share how a

small, unexpected, or insignificant decision

sparked a remarkable transformation and growth in her— their

life, both personally and professionally, and makes her really

good at what she does, better than other people.

Evelyn, I am so glad

that you are giving us your time this week.

Well, I'm delighted to be here, and we always seem to get on like a

house on fire when we talk to one another, so that's That's good too.

So I am delighted. Absolutely. So tell

everybody what you do and what happened

to bring you to that so that you're better at it than anybody else.

Well, I work with both students,

individuals in sessions, and that

combination means I speak to a lot of people all

the time. Now, the one

thing that helps that to be smooth as

silk is that I am an eldest child that was

raised by a whole slew of older people. I

grew up in a sea of white hair, and if I was very,

very quiet, I could sit and listen to their

stories. And They told stories

not only of their own early days, but they would tell

stories that they heard from their parents and grandparents. So I got

like history lessons when I was a little girl, as well as

leaning in to hear more than what they said,

but how they felt about what they said. And that was

something I just did spontaneously as a child.

And I got a little bit older. My father ran a

service station. He was a brilliant mechanic. And there was a bus

stop that was right on the street next to his station.

And of course, back in, in the Willy Wags in the old days, there

were no shelters at the bus stop. So

my father, who was a kind of imposing person, he was 6'7".

Would invite people from the bus stop to wait in the office

so that they didn't get soaked out in the rain.

Now, the area was

multinational, primarily back then it was European immigrants,

but there was also a vibrant Black community there as well.

And all of these people would come into the station

in the office, which got pretty crowded in there. And

I got to listen to them. And when I learned to really

listen, I could understand even

strongly accented speech. Because I

just kept tuning my ear to the person that was in front of

me. And that doesn't

seem like something that would be, you something you'd

learn in school or anything like that. But it has served me so

well over my life because

when put in front of anyone, I can listen

and talk with them because I

desire to connect.

And that being curious about a person and really

deeply listening to them is something that most people don't

experience. I think I

gotta say two things, okay?

Um, sometimes when I'm teaching communication, one of the things,

for whatever reason, I guess because we're taught— I don't know what we're taught—

sometimes we're so busy formulating an

answer when people talk to us

that we don't stop to listen to find out what's going on.

So I think that's one of the big things. And the

second thing you said is being curious. It's like,

don't— you know, we— again, this is, I think,

conditioning with education and stuff. We have a

predisposed lens that we're coming through.

And one of the biggest changes that happened to me, one of the biggest small

changes was saying to myself, are

you being judgmental or are you being curious?

You know, and I have really worked really hard the last few years to be

curious because I'm telling you, I had Type A

behavior and I like focused in without

really listening. So tell me more about that, because that's kind of amazing,

the fact that you can not only listen

actively right? But can make that

person be heard and seen.

And how does that help you in business? How does that help us in our

business? To me, that human

connection— first of all, we're social primates, right?

And as social primates, we

thrive on connection. But connection can't be

something that's fake. It has to be a genuine

connection. And it can be with a stranger in the line in the

bank. Or, you know, if you make a genuine connection

with any individual, you start to see that person shine.

They brighten up. They were seen, even for a

short interlude. You know, you're chatting somebody up somewhere.

Raging extrovert here. Yes, I am. And

that connection means they might be talking to

somebody else at their next stop. They may choose to

step forward. I mean, I'm the kind of person that if there's

somebody packing my groceries and they're wearing a tag, I call them by name.

You know, that's an important piece of how we

interact. And now when you receive a client,

a student in one of your courses, whatever it might be,

you have already engaged in

relationship. Because

you've received them as a human being, you've

listened to what their concern is or

their particular way of expressing whatever

is going on that is troubling them or that they didn't understand or

whatever it might be. You lean in for that.

And curiosity makes us want to lean in. It's like, "Oh,

you have a completely different story than I do. I want to hear it."

That's the energy that you give forth when you lean in.

And

that way of being

is I think more important than thinking

about the next sale. Because if you create

relationships, however

narrow we'd make that definition, if you create

relationships, you are

automatically, when you receive somebody, you're

automatically seen as more trustworthy.

So this— Go ahead. Okay, so the first thing

is, as I'm listening to what you're saying, I

have something— I, I have something that I want to say about that. And

I'll say it first. You know, one of the things that

I put into my Be Found framework is nurture all your

relationships. And I think sometimes people feel like that means you have to

spend a whole lot of time and get into deep conversations,

but it's not. I mean, I— my husband got a book and it was something,

something about things that make you a better person or something like

that. But the one that I remember of all the things is always wave back

at a kid that waves at you, you know, because it makes

them feel seen. It's, it's— I actually think that sometimes those

little gestures are more important

because

they're spontaneous. They make the person feel

good, and that person is probably going to have that ripple effect where

they're going to pass it on. Yes, the big things we do are important too,

but that's something that costs you nothing, you

know. So, all right, I want to get back to

you though. So the thing that we haven't really talked

about very much is what, what is it that you do? You know, you talk

to students, you talk to older people. What is it that you

actually do? In your business? In

business, I rely on what pulled me out

of a depression when I was,

about 36 years ago. So whatever that

arithmetic is. I had

lost a relationship, so I was really

foundering, you know, crashing on the rocks. I went

to a therapist, I had some medication to help me sleep at night, and as

a stubborn Taurus, I was not getting well fast

enough. Does this sound familiar? Does it sound

familiar? Yes. I was not getting well

fast enough. I wanted myself back. And so

I had read a book about shamanism

probably 2 or 3 years prior to that, and I said, "I want

to try this." Because it was expanding your perception.

And, you know, depression to me feels like they stuck you in the

smallest closet they could find, you know, and there's no window.

So I thought, "All right." I fooled around with the

information that was in the book. And then I found that

one of those— it was the Open Center in New York, one of those places

where they have a huge catalog of all these different things that could improve your

life, you know. And I found out the author of the book was

teaching, so I signed up for that. And the first

shamanic journey I experienced with him drumming and all of us lying on the floor,

and it was pretty odd for me because I was in advertising at that point,

and 150 people lying on the floor, and some of them in a lot of

tie-dye, was a little bit edgy for me,

I have to say. But dutifully,

Followed the instructions, went down on the floor, had a blindfold,

and the first journey was to— I met a polar

bear in the journey. And the polar bear

took me around to show me things.

And it was like that tunnel vision of depression for me

suddenly opened up. I felt that

possibility came back. Not any specific

possibility, which would have been nice to the Taurus, but

possibility as an energy came back. And I said, I do not know

the ins and outs of this yet. I need to learn more. And I

also need to make sure that I'm not making this up.

Stubborn, what can I tell you? So I

not only practiced it, I took another one of this

organization's courses that was to use it in a

counseling venue.

And I went into this with the idea,

I want to learn how to make the drawing salve that my

great-great-grandmother made. She never wrote the recipe down, and her

children didn't want to learn herbal medicine, so she didn't teach them, and it

was lost to time. But I have the kind of skin

that decides no matter how badly infected that, that thing

is going to be, it just heals over. And I always have to use a

drawing salve. And my parents used what was left in

this old mason jar when I was a kid, but that was gone

and I still had the same skin. So I wanted to

find out how to make that salve. I said, that's a concrete thing.

If I can find that out, then I know I'm not making it up.

So over the course of this week-long training, I

asked to meet— I have the polar bear take me to meet my great-great-grandmother, who

is long dead, died before I was born. And I

said, I know there's a 3-generation gap between us.

I want to know how to make your drawing sap.

And so over the course of this program, she showed me the way

somebody would have taught you a recipe in the '30s. You know, you need this

much of this. And this much of this and about this much of this.

Right? So I'm busy writing it all down. I finally

gather all the ingredients. The base of it was goose fat and it was

summertime. So finding a goose to roast in summer, I had to wait

just until autumn before I could roast the goose. I

made it and, you know, you don't know what it's going to be.

Filtered it, put it in the little jars. And

then I thought, I have to try it, right? So I have

a cat, as you noticed today, and I always

have had cats, and I roughhouse with them, and I always get scratched.

So I aggravated a cat scratch until it was roaringly

infected, and then I followed what my parents did.

They put it on a gauze pad back then with adhesive tape, put it on

there with the salve, In the morning, all the goop would be in the bandage

and the wound would be clean. So it was like, in the morning,

it was like,

holy crap, it worked.

And that idea that you could

expand your awareness to include things that you thought were

completely impossible.

That idea supported my

desire to be curious about

people and support them to step into

the fullest life they're capable of

having. You know, most people sort of play small.

Even people in business tend to, you know, they get a little alley there that

they're in and that's it. But I don't think we were

designed that way. I think we were designed to really

be all that we are capable of being

as individuals. And in that

largesse part of us,

we can make a difference around us

by just being who we are. You know, we can

We can funnel that into teaching, we can funnel that into

having clients that you support in their healing, or

teaching courses. All these different things that you can do,

but your being is the thing that people respond

to. That quality that

you can be big enough to support

them to step into that same kind of space.

And it's the kind of thing that even talking about it gives me goosebumps.

Because when people really let themselves be

that bigness that they may have been afraid of when they were younger,

or told to, you know, stay in your lane by

parents that said, mm-mm, don't you be getting bigger than me.

When they're set free from that, There's no

end to the wonderful things that they can do.

And I absolutely agree with you, and I kind of come from it

from the opposite— same place, opposite direction,

if that makes any sense. And I think that when we are

young, we are fearless, we are bold, we know no boundaries.

And our parents, because they love us and they're scared for

us frankly, rein us in.

And I feel like in your adulthood,

you have to learn to break those bounds, and that's

what makes you who you are. That is the specialness

that you have, that you've always had but been afraid or

conditioned out of. And I think that

that is doubly true for women I mean, I think

that, you know, I've said this before, if

you listen to my podcast, I used to whistle all the time. I used to

whistle and I used to hum. And my grandmother said to me, a

crowing hen and a whistling woman, neither one comes to a very

good end, you know. And they're like, stop whistling, stop humming. I

mean, I can't tell you how many times I did things and they're like,

no, we don't do that. Women, you know, don't do that.

You know, the expectations of what a good mother is

or expectations of what a good daughter is,

I think, put so many, so many

boundaries on us, right? So

there's one other thing that you said that I think is really important.

You said you came out of, you know,

advertising, right? I am a very

logical, analytical, straight arrow kind of person.

And so getting into the woo-woo has always been something

that I've resisted. Now, I won't say that, I— because

that's not true anymore. Um, what I will say is I used to

resist it. And what I would encourage people

to do is to stick their toe

and be curious. I mean, I actually had a conversation

with somebody the other day who just said You know,

I think that, you know, you have a tightness in your left side and when

you turn your head, you know, just from a Zoom call.

And he's like, turn your head to the right, turn your head to the left,

right? And he said, just do this thing. And he had me rub my

ears 3 times, right up and back. And my left

shoulder got looser. Right now,

there's a part of me that goes, all right, probably 75%

of the people in the world are right-handed, so their left side is probably

tight, right? And, you know, this could be a guessing thing

that he just, you know, one of those things, right? But it

worked. Okay. And so the

idea to me is so many things that I—

what I learned as a kid was that it was not okay to fail,

you know. And so I didn't try things that I didn't think I could

succeed at. And what I would say to you is I

don't think there is such a thing as failure if you learn from it.

When, when I was losing weight and I weighed— at

one point I weighed 440 pounds. I lost almost 200

pounds. Right. I would say to myself,

it doesn't matter how many times you fall down. It only matters how

many times you get up and how fast. And that, I

think, is the same thing in business. Try something that you've never

tried before because you may rediscover

that it's something that you love and you're really good at. And

for me, one of the things, one of my— I consider a unique

power is I see things differently than other people. If

I talk to you for a few minutes, I

get a fairly good idea, I think, about what your unique power is

that you're not seeing. And I used to really

question that. And now I'm just like, that's your gift.

It's intuitive. Just let it go. Don't try to analyze it.

Just let it happen. And it took a long time for me to let that

go. I mean, to like stop trying to put it in a

formula so that I could, you know, that kind of thing. So

talk about any of that, but talk about, I think, one,

about the, the extra

constraints I think that are put on women And for those of

us that are always trying to get it right or being, you know,

you know, do it by the numbers, the benefits

of stepping into the unknown.

That's a big question, but I will do my best here.

So, and I love it. So

we are all wired for being creative,

and the only reason people don't express it is somebody else

made better pictures in kindergarten than they did, and so they stopped.

And that, that is a huge

loss for, I think, as us as a

species, because that

desire to make something that is

not yet here,

that you have a feeling about it. You

want to somehow make this thing, you know, and it could be

you're a mad crocheter or knitter, or, you know, you make

collage, you play music, it doesn't matter.

That idea that you are making something that was not here

before. I think is

a really important part of being a

whole human. Now you can be making a business too, that's certainly

creative. But that idea of

it's not there on the landscape until it comes through

you and is then now

something someone else can see it. There's something really,

really profound about that. And when

we support people to, you know, crack the

box a little bit, peek out from that, peek out from the

closet, then they start to think

about possibility in the same way

I did when I started to come out of that depression, where I felt

that sense of possibility. Because if you have the

courage, then when you open up that little closet,

to actually step through and, you know, I've always wanted to write,

or yeah, I love taking pictures, or whatever it might

be. Do it. Make something

tangible that you know wasn't there before,

because there's something powerful in that act.

And, you know, millennia, many millennia ago, it's how we

survived. You know, we roamed all around the planet going

from one biozone to another where we didn't know what was okay to eat, where

the fresh water was, what plants were good for medicine, and what was

there to eat us. We didn't know.

So we had to be creative. We

had to be spontaneous in our creativity quite often.

And that's in us. And when we

come from that place of a sense of wonder or curiosity,

and we allow ourselves, we give ourselves permission, particularly

women, since we are the ones that we have so much cultural

burden that we have had placed on us. Luckily,

I was my father's assistant when he fixed cars in the driveway.

So I didn't get so much of that. But that

idea, that if you shed

some of that stuff that was never yours to begin with, and

then look for a way to manifest something that was

never there, that you can say, "I did

that, and I liked doing it, and

I'm going to try something. I see where maybe I

could have made this a little differently. I'm going to try something else."

I mean, that, that is like a fire going off inside of you.

That is confidence. Yes. Building your, your confidence.

I can't believe this, but the time has gone so quickly. We need to

tie up some loose ends. All right. So

talk to me about a couple of things that people can do

right away to grow their business

with the things that we've been talking about, your uniqueness,

creativity, whatever. And also

your gift, of course. Yeah.

And, uh, the, the— I would say

if you're working with other people, the first thing you

do is you sweep your mind of all your preconceived notions

and approach them tomorrow,

or today if you're still working, approach them as

people that you don't know very much about.

And you really— I think I'd like to get to know that person better.

And put that hat on and see

what you can learn when you engage with that

person and where you

feel that connection in your body. Because many women

feel things in their body. It's— yes, they also have good

noodles up here, But we have this other rest of us

that picks up cues. So pay attention to how you feel

when you do that. And notice, did that go

smoothly? Did it not go smoothly? Make it a playful act.

Make it a playful act. Because you are

creating an energy in that moment when you reach

for someone. For the one you haven't connected with

inside. You are creating an energy.

You are creating a potential relationship that wasn't there

before, even though you may have worked with them for 10 years.

And the same goes with your customers, your students, the,

the— if you do individual sessions as a coach with the people you coach,

throw away your preconceptions. They will trust you faster.

Absolutely. They will trust you faster. So tell us

about your gift before we run out of time.

Um, I have put out several

gifts, and would you remind me of which gift you— I

gave you in your community?

Well, I would think that you would want the gift that has

to do with being yourself. Building Trust and Confidence.

Anything that you've got that's in that realm would be a good gift.

And if you, if you're, if you're not sure, I'll just say

it's in the links. And when you get, you know, by the time you hear

this, it'll be there. Um, I have to just, just add real

fast, when people get upset with me because if I, when I do connection

calls, I never really look people up on LinkedIn or anything like that.

I just, I just want to meet them the way they, they come. Anyway,

so much for that. Well, you know, we have to do the advertisement part.

And so I want to encourage everybody to subscribe and share

and engage with the podcast on social media. And the reason I

do it is it's my way of giving back to the community and introducing you

to people that will help you grow your business. And I'm hoping that

that will make this a vibrant community and it will fuel your quest for

growth and impact. And I hope that you will continue to join me on The

One Small Change. And there are several episodes where I am

talking all by myself that you might want to look at. So Evelyn,

give me your last words of wisdom, like a favorite quote that you say to

your clients or a favorite saying that you've got, your last

words you want us to remember you by.

Well, I often tell people, you are far more

than you've been taught. I like

that. I like that a lot. Okay guys, it's

time for us to wrap it up and As much fun as this has

been, we got to go. So remember,

change is simple, but it's not always easy, and it requires a

certain amount of courage, resilience, and willingness to step out of

your comfort zone, which doesn't mean that you're not going to have butterflies. I

always say if I'm not feeling a little bit nervous, then I don't care.

So, you know, you're not going to necessarily feel

calm, but it will be worth taking the step. And as

Evelyn said, You know, you are meant to be

more. So join me on the one small change as we embark on this

journey. Until the next time, stay very, very

curious. Evelyn, thank you. Oh, thank

you, Yvonne. Bye, everybody.