This episode I was joined by listener Mrs. Boyd! She’s been keeping me lifted over the last year or two with her kind comments and it was such a joy talking, travel regrets, how she became the designated itinerary planner of her family, being intentional about showing her kids the world and the importance of representation, even for adults.

This month is all about y’all. I’m so grateful to have you all here along for the ride. Each week in October, I'm having a listener join me to shoot the shit and talk about travel from their point of view. No script. No professionals. Just regular people and relatable content. 

I’ve put together an itinerary pack that includes five different weekend friendly roadtrips hours from NYC. Take the stress of planning and packing off the table and focus on the road. https://travelnshitpodcast.com/travel-resources/roadtrip/

Never miss a Travel N Sh!t beat! Keep up with guest updates and all things Travel N Shit. Sign up for the mailing list: https://bit.ly/TNSmonthlynewsletter

If you enjoyed this week or any week’s episode, please take a second to subscribe and rate Travel N Sh!t on the platform you listen. If you’re REALLY feeling froggy, please take this quick listener survey so I can get to know you better! https://travelnshitpodcast.com/listenersurvey

Guest: Melissa Boyd http://www.instagram.com/lemondroptravelexp

Host: http://www.instagram.com/_dCarrie

Show: http://www.instagram.com/travelnsh_t

Twitter: https://twitter.com/travelnsh_t

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TravelNShitPodcast

YouTube: https://youtu.be/CCER47M2R48

salutations and shit folks.

2

Welcome.

3

Welcome back to your favorite travel

podcast, Travel and Shit.

4

We're your host, D.

5

Carrie, have an experiential conversation

about the nuance ways that travel

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intersects with regular life.

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And if you are just joining us this week,

October happens to be the Travel and Shit

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anniversary month.

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So this month I am having my incredible

listeners join me in on the celebration

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because there is no podcast without you

guys.

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Other than that, it would just be an audio

diary and I would be sitting and talking

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to myself.

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And I am so, so happy and honored to have

today's guest because I don't know that

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she knows, but she has been such a very

important motivating factor in this

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journey for me.

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Her comments on the YouTubes, her

answering my Spotify poll that they have

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up there, I really don't know.

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if you know how much that absolutely means

the world to me.

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It's just the little ways that you just

share such kind words on my content that I

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really truly do appreciate.

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And I wanted to publicly thank you because

you do make all of your comments public.

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And one thing that I personally struggle

with is taking my time with my words

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sometimes, but then sometimes I never loop

back to actually do it because

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I will be in the moment and feel so much,

but I have a hard time sometimes.

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As much as I run my mouth, I happen to

have a hard time sometimes taking what is

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in my head and on my heart and putting it

into words.

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And I don't know that I have always

followed up with all the comments, so I

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wanted to tell you thank you so much.

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It means so much to me.

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And it's kind of like a reminder.

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You know, they say, tell you check on your

loved ones and tell you to reach out to

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your strong friend, all that kind of shit.

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While that is important also, sometimes

all it is like a really small word to

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someone that you don't even know in

person.

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Like you don't know in real life, as

people would say, as if the internet

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hasn't now become a ubiquitous part of

actual real life.

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But thank you for your kind words.

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And if you ever have the opportunity folks

to just say something nice to people, say

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something nice.

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Yes.

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to do that in real life, so it's very nice

to see it reciprocated in this digital

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life.

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So, Ms.

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Boyd, thank you so much for that.

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I really appreciate you.

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And thank you.

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And so I think that's a perfect segue for

you to introduce yourself.

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So if you're watching on the YouTubes, you

guys can see that I have a beautiful face

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here with me.

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So my beautiful face.

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Mrs.

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Boyd, please introduce yourself to the

listeners.

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Hi, my name is Melissa Blackson Boyd and

I'm from Philadelphia and I am I've been

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listening for about a year and a half to

the but is now my favorite travel podcast.

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I just Enjoy how real and how?

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Much, you know d connects travel to just

your everyday life and just makes it

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adventurous.

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I listen to a lot of podcasts I listen to

several travel podcasts

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and yours is my favorite.

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So thank you.

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Thank you.

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That means a shit ton of a lot.

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So this month, there are no hard topics.

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There are no structured outlines.

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It's just a kick it about travel.

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And in our email exchanges, you had

mentioned one of the things that you know,

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you might want to discuss this episode was

regrets.

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And I think that is a very fitting place

to start.

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Okay.

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I absolutely agree and share in that

sentiment.

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I let so many restricting beliefs keep me

from traveling as a younger person.

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And a lot of it was, I don't have anybody

to go with, I don't have a man.

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So, you know, that whole vacation is just

not gonna happen.

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A lot of my really close friends ended up

having kids early.

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Well, not early, like we weren't like 15

year olds, but like my early twenties.

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My best friends either moved out of state,

were married, a lot of them got married

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very early or had kids.

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So it was kind of like, okay, girls trip,

maybe not going to happen the way that I

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saw it, right?

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Because all I would really see of travel

was kids going on spring break in Miami or

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going to Myrtle Beach or going to South

Beach or, you know, like the Cancun trip

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where the seniors, you know, friend group

kind of goes and does their little thing.

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So I didn't see what I didn't have for

myself what I saw and what I thought

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travel was.

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So for me, because I couldn't connect

those dots, I just ain't go.

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And at some point, at some point I was 30.

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I finally went and that was my first solo

trip.

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Prior to that, I'd only gone to different

states.

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I'd go see my cousin in Virginia or I was

going to New Orleans to see my homegirl

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from Mardi Gras.

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I would go to, did I go to Atlanta?

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I mean, I've been to Atlanta plenty of

times, but I'm trying to think if that was

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part of my Young Bitch travel journey.

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I feel like Atlanta was more familial

because that's really all I got in

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Atlanta.

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But long or short, I do have regrets about

not, and not like hard regrets like, oh my

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God, if I could do it again, I would do it

different.

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But it's kind of like, all right, you

know, I see how I got in my own way.

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What was your experience with, you know,

coming into your travel experience or

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coming into what you now currently hold as

your travel beliefs?

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That's so funny.

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What you said, you started traveling.

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You did your first solo trip, you say, in

your 30s.

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So I did my first solo trip in my 50s.

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So I can relate so much.

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It just fascinates me how much I can

relate to a lot of what you say, even

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though there's a difference in age between

us, but we share a lot of the same travel

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philosophies.

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So I was in that same place.

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I was single mom, had three daughters.

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They're adults now, but.

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you know raising them.

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I didn't think I had enough money to

travel.

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I didn't think you know with school it was

always thinking about their schedules or

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where I was going to do it.

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Jobs, trying to take off time.

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You know sometimes in the summer I would

have to work instead of being able to just

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have that free time to go on vacation and

things like that.

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So I just put it off.

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I just kept putting it off.

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And the other part you said about like the

vacation and I wasn't in a relationship.

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So it was where I wait and one day When I

have you know one day when I have a man,

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you know, we're gonna me and my man I'm

gonna go here.

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We're gonna go there and do this but then

you know, I looked up one day and Said

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what that never happens?

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I would have that never happened.

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So I remember it was right to my 50th

birthday and Me and my best friend we've

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been friends since we were 12.

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So we've been friends for over 40 years

and

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We had never gone on vacation together.

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So here we were, just, I think she was

getting ready to celebrate her 50th

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birthday and I had, I think we both were,

I was getting ready, so I'm not sure about

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the timing, but it was like, let's go

somewhere.

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And we planned a whole trip to Niagara

Falls and it was so nice on the Canada

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side.

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So we, if anybody knows me, they know I

like to travel.

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It's never simple.

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It's never just a flight or a drive to one

destination and just stay there.

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So I planned it out where we flew into

Buffalo from Philadelphia, and then we

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took a taxi from Buffalo into Niagara

Falls over to over across the border.

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And then once we got there, um, of course

we stayed, you know, like in the hotel

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where you could see the falls, the falls

view hotel, and just did it up and it was

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just really nice and we stayed for about a

week.

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And as I was doing research, one thing I

like to do when I travel, I'm a history

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buff.

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And like you, I love museums, I love tours

and finding out things that, unexpected

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things about the destination where I'm

traveling.

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So I was able to, through a newspaper

article, find out about a woman that did

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Black history tours in Niagara Falls.

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And a lot of people don't think about

that.

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I didn't think about it.

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black history story in terms of you know

like slaves who were escaping slavery in

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America.

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Once it got to the point where America

like basically none of America even North

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wasn't safe they would go into Canada and

they would swim across Lake Erie which

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when you see it it's like I don't even

know how anybody thought about swimming

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across this lake because it's pretty it's

a big lake and it's a big current it's a

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strong current so I don't even

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She just took us all around and showed us

like this whole area that had been

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established by black people like really in

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There's a, there's like they call it the

colored cemetery, but it's just like, like

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now we may take it as like a derogatory

term, but for them it was like their own

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land, their own base, their own cemetery

where they got to, you know, remember and

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bury their own.

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So they didn't have to wait for somebody

else to do it.

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So as we just took us all around Niagara

Falls and we just got to see the black

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experience and the history and even the

current black experience in Niagara Falls

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and it was amazing.

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So that's kind of how it started.

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That wasn't a solo tour, it was just me

and my friend.

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But after that, it was like just the two

of us.

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So going down to one wasn't hard.

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And I remember my first solo trip

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Actually started out as a group trip.

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So my family likes to travel for sports

That's one of the things like I heard you

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talk about traveling for music and I like

that too But my family travels for sports.

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So I'm Philadelphia.

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I'm a big Eagles fan.

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And so we Traveled to Detroit to go see

the eagle and it was really cool And we

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always go in a couple days early so we can

kind of see the city where they're playing

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then we go to the big game and it's cool

because you get to

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have like that whole excitement of the

sports event and everybody's charged in

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the city and you have like those friendly

rivalries that's going on and stuff like

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that so we were doing like almost every

year but this year I found out some kind

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of way that how close Chicago is to

Detroit so I called the airline and said

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how much would it cost instead of going

back with them to Philadelphia if I divert

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my flight and go to Chicago for a couple

of days

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And that was back in 2016 and it was like

$12.

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It was a $12 different, that was it.

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So I was like, definitely.

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So I just changed my flight, went to

Chicago and I just hung out in Chicago for

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two days, I believe, by myself and that

was my first real solo trip but I was just

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by myself and I loved it.

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I was going to say, how did that feel?

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I loved it.

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I hear people talk about like not feeling

safe and things like that comes up a lot

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when you travel solo, but At no time, you

know, I did a little bit of research not

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much But just enough to know kind of like

what area I wanted to stay in a family

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hotel your reviews and I kind of just

stayed in the more touristy part of

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Chicago I stayed down No, I think it's

like the Navy yard, I think it's called

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naval base

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was unable base but it's like This is a

tourist attraction with like a big ferris

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wheel and it's kind of by the pier here

and Just did things I scheduled a foot

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tour We just walked around and did like a

historic tour to kind of familiarize

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myself We should kind of love them too and

I always look for the free ones because

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they're always like Somewhere you can go

for free and then you can kind of pay as

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you can as you will and I find them to be

very

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very interesting.

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If I could find a black-owned one, that's

my goal.

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But I learned from anybody.

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So that's what I did.

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And I stayed, I scheduled myself a foot

massage right after my three hour tour and

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just made a whole two days by myself.

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And then I eventually flew back home to

Philly.

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I think that that's one of the things that

I've mentioned plenty of times that solo

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travel doesn't have to be scary.

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I understand the sentiment of it being

scary because at one point I didn't think

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I could go anywhere by myself.

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But when I realized like, girl, you live

by yourself now.

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What don't you do by yourself?

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It's been you and this dog for...

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years when you leave the house this little

thing ain't with you like it's just you in

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these streets doing your grocery shopping

going to the doctor's office getting on

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the train getting off the train going here

going there going to this movie theater

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going to get my nails done going to get my

hair done whatever it was i was doing it

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by myself and then i realized it's like

it's the same thing someplace else it

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doesn't have to be

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That's it, it's just somebody else's

neighborhood.

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And it's like, I'm in somebody else's

neighborhood the majority of the time, I

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am out of my house.

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So it doesn't have to be this grandiose,

long and drawn out elaborate plan that you

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have to piece together and overthink.

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Right?

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I like the way you already had a trip

plan.

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You said, let me have a good time with the

family.

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And then I could just step to the side and

do something myself, continue your trip.

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It makes it, I think, a little bit more

palatable for people, especially in terms

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of that familial worry.

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Like when that cousin is in your ear, like

girl, you're gonna go where?

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Well, where you gonna stay?

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Who you gonna be with?

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Who all know you there?

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It's like, you were just two hours away.

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or you were a city right over, you saw

what it was, you got the energy of the

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area, it's the same thing, cause like,

it's just gonna be me by myself.

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If I told you I was gonna go outside and

get coffee and I was gonna bring something

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back, you'd be right with me going by

myself, right?

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So it's like that same energy applies.

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How do you think you, like for, so growing

up, what was your experience of travel?

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Did you travel when you were younger and

what did that, if it did at all?

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How did it influence the way you felt

coming into it as an adult?

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Yeah, so when I was younger, the big mode

of travel was either car or bus.

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You always, you know, you got the bus

trips or you went on a road trip and it

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usually was like a packed car, whole

family, extended family going to a

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relative's house or something like that.

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Maybe a school trip, something like that,

but it was pretty limited.

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Um, but I do remember taking my first

flight when I was about nine years old and

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we were going to Disney World.

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And not to tell my age or anything, but

that was like Disney World had just

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opened.

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So that's how I was still in college.

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But so that was a big deal.

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And we used to get dressed up.

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We used to get on a plane, used to wear

your, your little suit, your little socks,

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your Easter Easter.

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And so we all, you know, it dress up, get

on this plane and go down to Disney World.

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Oh, yes.

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Yes.

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Right.

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grandma used to always get me some cute

ones.

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Yep.

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With a little bow.

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So on the plane, that's what we did.

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You know, so as a family, we would go down

there.

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And that was kind of my extent of flying,

was to go, we pretty much did, for some

276

reason, my mom, my mom loved Disney World,

and she just fell in love with Florida.

277

So that became our go-to vacation spot.

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So whenever we flew somewhere, that was

it.

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Otherwise we would do like car trips or

bus trips, something like that.

280

Um, and then when I got into my twenties

on my own, we went to a cousin.

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He and my cousin went to a, to the

Bahamas.

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So that was like my first.

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Roam trip.

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So I was with her and you know, it was

like her boyfriend, my boyfriend, and we

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were hanging out in the Bahamas.

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Um, she had a friend of coworkers,

somebody who had like a time share or

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something and it has had a time.

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So it was nice, it was inexpensive.

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And we stayed for about a week, so that

was pretty cool.

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Kind of just doing it on your own.

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And then after that, you know, it's kind

of like a blur because I got married, I

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had kids, and I don't know.

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It just stopped.

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It just seemed like as I go back and look,

we did a lot of local stuff, but in terms

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of like getting on a plane, I don't know

if it was because it's the thought.

296

Doing that with you know, like three kids

by myself.

297

Maybe that was overwhelming.

298

I don't know but I didn't travel so same

cousin Thank you to my cousin because

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she's always looking out for me.

300

She encouraged me to come on here today He

was like just go talk and she we She gave

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she gave me a trip she gave my daughter a

trip for high school graduation my oldest

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daughter

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And I'm like, that's so nice.

304

You're going to take my daughter on a

cruise.

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She said, no, all y'all coming.

306

So her and other family members, I got

together to make sure that we had no

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excuse.

308

I had no excuse.

309

We were going on the family vacation and

we went cruise out of New York and cruise

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to, I think like it was like Nassau and

Turks and Caicos.

311

And after that, it was done.

312

It was like, I got bit.

313

by and my children.

314

It was just like, I'm gonna find somewhere

to go.

315

I'm gonna find some plane ride.

316

And that's when plane travel was kind of

still affordable.

317

You know, so it was probably maybe about,

318

2014 was, so it had been a gap.

319

And we hadn't traveled.

320

But after that, it was like every year,

every year I was just perusing the

321

internet and going on the travel pages and

just trying to find some place to go.

322

I took another I took about three more

cruises.

323

I went to Alaska.

324

We took a Mediterranean cruise and I got a

chance to do some of the really big ones

325

And a lot of people wait a lifetime to do

it just so happened because I was

326

traveling with different people that Want

to go these different places I got to go

327

to Like trips that were kind of bucket

list trips for other people it became like

328

oh

329

Well, you've already been you only go on

four cruises but you've been on all the

330

big cruises that everybody kind of waits

for life to go on Um, and then just flying

331

into different places.

332

Um, we took a family trip And when we

travel as a family, I say family.

333

It's like 20 of us the whole place It's

like and i became No, it's not and i'm

334

kind of the planner for the family because

I was always going over and above Trying

335

to do something different so

336

saint.

337

For instance we went to the Mediterranean

cruise.

338

I didn't plan that trip it was planned by

someone else and then I got the

339

opportunity to go and take my three

daughters so that was amazing and I had

340

teenage girls and I knew they work with

them want to do the museum thing So I just

341

went online and tried to find some fun

things so we were able to go Me and other

342

not just the not just the four of us, but

whole family We were in the scooters and

343

did like the Vespa scooters through Italy

344

I'm terrified of those.

345

Absolutely terrified.

346

When I look at the pictures, I'm like, who

is this person?

347

I'm like a meme that says, when you're

home, you barely want to do anything

348

adventurous.

349

You won't even get on a bike in your own

neighborhood.

350

But when you go on vacation, you're like

riding skateboards.

351

And so we were on a festival scooter all

through these mountains.

352

They had us on.

353

Some little roads traveling through

Tuscany.

354

It was beautiful, but I was scared to

death.

355

But so memorable.

356

And we also did kayaking in France.

357

They just took us out to this little, I

don't know, I guess it was like a lake or

358

a sea.

359

I don't know what it was.

360

We went into the ocean and we were all in

kayaks and just arranged a tour.

361

We did all kinds of black, we did black

history tours.

362

Me and my daughter, we learned so much

about like the black experience in

363

Barcelona.

364

Oh wow.

365

I experienced in Sicily like so many

people, you know, it's so much they don't

366

tell us.

367

We don't know so You are exactly Until you

go until you go and when you go we had a

368

tour guide who was pointing out like a lot

of the statues and a lot of the Carvings

369

in these ancient buildings.

370

There were black people carved into these

buildings

371

But if you were just walking past you

wouldn't even notice that was in

372

Barcelona.

373

So I say all that because after I planned

on that adventurous stuff for that trip

374

because of my daughters they were like oh

we want you to plan all of our all of our

375

adventurous vacations so I know I love it

though I really do I mean it does get to

376

be a lot at times and I've heard like I

agree with you a lot of things like I

377

don't want to book nobody's flight that's

on you

378

book your own hotel because everybody has

their preferences.

379

But when it comes to the excursions and

the trips and things like that, what are

380

we going to do while we're there?

381

I'm good all day for that.

382

I like that.

383

Yeah.

384

like, I think once you find a good balance

in terms of traveling with people, who's

385

good for what?

386

Like with my partner and I, I'm good for

that.

387

I will handle the experiences and he does

the food.

388

He is absolutely food in terms of bars, if

we do restaurants, if we do food trucks,

389

if we do our own shopping.

390

He ain't never steer me wrong when it

comes to that food and that drink that I

391

don't even bother.

392

I don't even buy all it is well, what are

you in the mood for?

393

That's the only contribution to the food

that I have and that the rest is all him.

394

But when it comes to the activities and

shit to do, he'll defer to me.

395

It's not like he is, he is absolutely

capable of doing that.

396

Like he is contributed like, okay, well,

397

What about this?

398

I heard this was a thing.

399

Or last time I was in this area, you know,

we did this.

400

I want to take you to this place or

whatever.

401

But he's very flexible and laid back with,

whatever makes you happy, you want to do

402

whatever?

403

Like we could go to the museum or we could

do this and we'll have a good fucking

404

time.

405

But what do you think that, well, not

that, but what do you think your, or how

406

do you think your experience of travel has

impacted how you may have or may not have?

407

influenced your girls to travel?

408

Like how did your personal feelings on

travel kind of shape how, like you, the

409

person, the adult, how did your take

influence how you wanted to kind of impart

410

that on your children?

411

Because I feel like people generally say,

oh, you always want better for your kids.

412

Like I've never heard anybody say you

don't want better for your kids, right?

413

But I feel like when it comes to something

like travel,

414

Thank you.

415

it being an intentional conversation to

have, I feel like it's not really

416

something that necessarily comes up.

417

And I could absolutely be wrong because I

feel like everybody's life experience is

418

different, but is that a thing that you

considered?

419

Is that something that you thought about?

420

Is that something that you decided to be

intentional about?

421

What did that look like as a parent for

you?

422

Well, exactly.

423

The word is intentional.

424

Like, I don't want them to make the

mistake I did and have the regret that I

425

had.

426

I want them to start traveling early.

427

So, like my oldest daughter, she was 14

and she took a trip to Haiti.

428

It was with like our church, but it was

like, get on out of here.

429

And nobody else in the family was going.

430

So she was going with, I mean, there were

people that I knew, but they weren't

431

family members.

432

But she wanted to go.

433

She expressed an interest in going.

434

We did some research.

435

We made sure she was going to be with

people that were safe and things like

436

that.

437

But she got on a plane.

438

She was 13 or 14.

439

And she went to Haiti.

440

She went to Dominican Republic.

441

They have more passport stamps than I do.

442

My kids do.

443

And that was a big part of intentionally

making sure they had their passport,

444

making sure their passport stayed up to

date, making sure that they knew that

445

nothing was.

446

outreach for them.

447

You know being a single mom and sometimes

it's like I know people that I grew up

448

with who really haven't been a lot of

places and it kind of shocks me sometimes

449

because it's just like you know you don't

want to sound like arrogant because it's a

450

privilege.

451

Travel is a privilege.

452

Everybody doesn't get to do it.

453

Everybody's not exposed to it so I really

do appreciate that I got that exposure but

454

I want to make sure my girls understand

and not just my girls but

455

I do a lot of work with young people on my

job.

456

So I make sure they know too.

457

It's like, no, you have to get your

passport.

458

You have to be ready.

459

Because even though you don't have a trip

plan, when one comes up, you make sure you

460

have everything so you can say, yes, I'm

ready to go.

461

You know, get just a little.

462

Exactly, exactly.

463

And so with my girls now, like I said,

they've been, I have my youngest daughter.

464

She's been to at least 13 or 14 countries,

like with different people.

465

You know, sometimes people are taking

their own children and they're maybe like

466

their child, especially when the kids get

to be a teenager, they don't want to be

467

with their parents.

468

But so it's like, Oh, can, can your

daughter come with us so that they can

469

hang out and keep my kid company?

470

Sure.

471

And so because she had a passport, because

she was ready to go, it was like she got

472

to go to 13 different countries, you know,

over the years, um, encouraged them to do

473

my one daughter.

474

She moved to New York.

475

She lives in New York now.

476

So when people were kind of encouraging

her to kind of stay close to home, I was

477

like, New York is close to home.

478

I mean, it's really closer.

479

It's closer to Philly than a lot of

colleges in Pennsylvania.

480

When I said I was sending my daughter to

New York, people were like, New York?

481

That's a whole different state, you know?

482

But, and now she's been in 10 years and

she loves it.

483

And she lives in Harlem.

484

So I just want them to know.

485

girl.

486

I want her to know that I want them all to

know and I want really anybody around me

487

to know that Travel is accessible.

488

It's accessible to you.

489

You have like you said prepare yourself

for the opportunity Do what's comfortable

490

or maybe like a little bit out of your

comfort zone you have to do what I do But

491

because I'll just get up and go I'll just

announce to my kids, especially now that

492

they're adults, you know

493

I got remarried, so I'm married.

494

My husband's even, like, I'll tell you,

for example, the friend that went on the

495

Niagara Falls trip.

496

So I had planned a bunch of road trips for

me and my husband after we got married in

497

2019.

498

Mm-hmm.

499

and then 2020 came.

500

So all those road trips were gone.

501

It was like we had about five road trips.

502

When you start traveling late, the thing

is I want to catch up.

503

There's so many things I want to see, so

many things I want to do.

504

So I had planned about five road trips and

as soon as I was able to start traveling

505

again, I said okay we're going to start

doing these road trips.

506

So I mentioned the first road trip to him

and that was a civil rights trail road

507

trip.

508

So he was like

509

In the 2020 climate, he was like, nah, I'm

good.

510

So in 2020, he said, I'm good.

511

So I was like, no, I'm good.

512

After being locked in the house, it was

like, no, I don't want to take for granted

513

that this opportunity will always be

there.

514

So he said, ask one of your friends to go.

515

So I went back to my best friend from the

Niagara Falls strip and asked her to go.

516

And she said, yeah.

517

And so we went.

518

And we flew into Nashville, we lit a car,

drove through Tennessee with the Memphis,

519

Birmingham, Selma, Montgomery.

520

We went deep, we went all the way.

521

But let me tell you, we came back, it was

emotional.

522

It was a roller coaster of emotions, but

we came back feeling so empowered and so

523

proud of our people, you know, and what

they had endured so that, you know, we

524

could travel, we could jump in the car.

525

Everything.

526

We just, it just made us appreciate our

lives.

527

so much more for what they sacrificed,

what they did for us.

528

So it wasn't all sad.

529

We did a lot of fun things, but a lot of

reflective stuff too.

530

So, you know, I say that, you know, that

was just another kind of intentional but

531

spontaneous trip.

532

Again, like he didn't want to go, so I

went.

533

So I want my kid.

534

Yeah, look at them.

535

Love you, see you when I get back.

536

That to my kids, you know, I want them to

have the same kind of, you know, don't let

537

anything stop you.

538

If you want to go, if you want to do it,

you know, you can go by yourself.

539

You can go with a small group.

540

You can go with a friend, or you can go

with a group, whatever you want to do, but

541

just be open to different opportunities to

travel.

542

That two parts.

543

So the first part I'll say is that I feel

like sometimes we don't even realize how

544

our own decisions in, I don't wanna say

bravery, but cause I don't wanna make it

545

seem like it's, well, sometimes it is that

deep, right?

546

But sometimes our own bold choices, I'll

say that.

547

Sometimes our old.

548

bold choices, when we live in our own

light, we give other people permission to

549

see their own light.

550

And I know that was the experience for me

and how I started traveling because the

551

big part of it for me was seeing my

friend, Unicorn and BK, hey Missy, seeing

552

her.

553

And shout out to Pose Beauty, Miss Anissa.

554

Seeing the two of them, black women, solo

traveling, that unlocked so many doors for

555

me because I saw a lot of myself in them

and seeing them in Cambodia, in, where did

556

she go?

557

Vietnam and just doing these incredible

trips and staying in hostels in other

558

countries.

559

And I'm like, hostels?

560

Girl, did you see the movie?

561

I don't know if I could do that.

562

the video.

563

showing me that it's just like, oh, so you

can have your own room in a hostel.

564

So this hostel looks like a fucking hotel.

565

It's like you see it and then you realize,

oh, I can do this.

566

And it's something that I don't wanna say

the language wasn't there when I was

567

younger, but the older I got, I realized

how much representation matters, even as

568

an adult, even as an adult.

569

mattering doesn't just stay in the world

of children.

570

It absolutely affects adults and the ways

that they are able to see themselves and

571

the futures they're able to envision for

themselves.

572

Grown me, who lived on their own, was

paying their bills, college degree, doing

573

my thing, being successful in life.

574

Well, you know, I wasn't unsuccessful.

575

I mean, looking back, it's just like, all

right, that little job was cute.

576

But no, let me run that back.

577

I was successful because I have lived on

my own.

578

since 2004 maybe.

579

No, that's a lie.

580

When I graduate.

581

2004, Alba Sillen College.

582

2008.

583

It was October 2008 or it was May in 2008.

584

Yeah, I think it was the May after I

585

then I think I moved out.

586

I started working at that job in October

and then I got and I never remember dates

587

and times but

588

This is the only area of my life when I

can tell you what year something happened.

589

And I always have to go back to when I

graduated, but it was, I've been doing

590

this since 2008, so yay me.

591

But that, seeing those women at that bigly

age of 30, it was kind of, maybe I

592

shouldn't be so scared.

593

Maybe it doesn't have to be as grandiose

and detailed and extravagant as I

594

pictured.

595

imagine, right?

596

the next question I had was like, oh my

God, like, you know, does anybody know any

597

travel agents and this?

598

And Anissa was like, do it yourself.

599

And I was like.

600

huh?

601

Me?

602

Me?

603

The girl that ain't never been nowhere

about to plan a trip?

604

How am I plan a trip?

605

And I've never been on a trip.

606

And she was like, the Google, you're fine.

607

Just do it.

608

And it was just like, you put all of these

what ifs and what ifs, but buts and ifs

609

and just some things.

610

It really is just pull the trigger.

611

Just absolutely start where you are with

what you have.

612

I thought I was going to go to Martinique.

613

That didn't work out.

614

Ended up in Bermuda for the first trip.

615

to go so left and then to realize I could

do hard things.

616

I know how to pivot.

617

If something goes wrong, I could figure it

out because guess what?

618

That's what I've been doing.

619

And so that representation as an adult

opened so many doors for me.

620

And so I feel like, you know, your girls

being able to see you traveling and to be

621

able to see that you weren't afraid of

traveling, absolutely.

622

gave them that courage to, I mean, I can't

speak for them, but as someone who knows

623

what it feels like to look at someone

close to you and see that it can be done,

624

I think that if more of us would realize

that we don't have to necessarily

625

intentionally be the change we wanna see,

that sometimes just the small act of doing

626

what we feel is right for us can give

somebody else that boost to do something

627

similar for them in whatever way that may

be.

628

It doesn't even have to be travel.

629

It could be something as simple as, you

know what?

630

I know what it looks like to do something

new.

631

Maybe I should try this.

632

Maybe I will start that food blog or maybe

I will, you know, take those nail set

633

classes and become an actual licensed, I

think that's under cosmetology.

634

I feel like it may be, don't know for

sure.

635

Yeah, it's in one of them books.

636

So I think that a lot of times, if you

need some motivation to figure out a why

637

for you to do something that you are

interested in doing, consider that it may

638

inspire somebody that you care about to do

something that they care about.

639

So if you need something bigger than you

to give you a reason to travel, consider

640

that there are people looking at you that

you don't even know.

641

you're looking at you.

642

And I don't think that it has to only be

kids.

643

It could be other adults.

644

These were other grown women that were

inspiring my grown ass.

645

You know what I mean?

646

Like, it's like, you just wanna see

yourself.

647

You just wanna see yourself in that.

648

Now, the other question I was gonna ask

you is...

649

Was it easier or do you think it was

easier or not to be the parent of a child

650

traveling on their own because of your

travel experience or because of the fact

651

that you wished that you had traveled

sooner?

652

Did that ease any fears?

653

Because I know that some parents, and I

guess also you gotta know your kid, you

654

could have...

655

Right.

656

Okay, right.

657

four are gonna need help and you know what

I mean, that kind of situation.

658

So you gotta know your kids, but how do

you think your experiences of travel or

659

your being intentional with them younger,

how did that translate into being the

660

parent that was able to kind of give your

child that space to explore on their own

661

and to take those steps when they felt

like they were ready?

662

Right and that goes back to we didn't like

I said, we didn't travel Far we stayed

663

kind of local on local travel But that

opened up like we would go down to the

664

waterfront and take a ferry ride from

philly over to camden and We wouldn't have

665

any purpose for going over there.

666

We would just take the ferry ride.

667

So it was always Instilling that nature of

like going someplace new like you said we

668

would

669

They used to hate it, but sometimes I

would have no plan.

670

It was like, we just gonna get on this

train, we gonna get on this, we just gonna

671

see where it goes.

672

And they're looking at me like, and like

mom, but you know, felt safe enough, cause

673

mom was there, whatever.

674

And I think as that start to open up the

adventure for them, and I would see how

675

they would act in local spaces.

676

So it just made me know like, you'll be

fine, you know.

677

Yeah.

678

We would go some places with other family

members and I always get the report back

679

of how well they did on their own and

we're kind of...

680

And they're very curious like me.

681

So it was kind of a segue from local

travel to kind of, okay.

682

And I didn't want to stop them from being

able to go just because I wasn't able to

683

go for whatever reason.

684

So it's interesting you say that because

yes, I had my childhood travel, but that

685

was kind of always with people doing

things.

686

So to let them...

687

go off with other people.

688

I really don't know where that boldness

came from or where that, you know,

689

courage, if you will, come from to just

say, okay, but I didn't wanna stop them.

690

I think it was more about not restricting

them and letting them know that, because I

691

had watched so many other people do it and

I just didn't want, not like you said, not

692

to travel, but period.

693

I didn't want them to be restricted from

doing really anything.

694

It was like...

695

Just because I haven't had that

experience, I want you to have experiences

696

that I haven't had.

697

But at the same time, I didn't figure

like, oh, I'm a certain age, those days

698

are over for me.

699

And I was like, no, I'm going to go and

have some experiences too.

700

So we kind of influenced each other.

701

And I do get a lot of feedback from people

my own age who they don't say, because I

702

post everything.

703

I post everything on my social pages.

704

They're watching, you know, some of my

friends and you're always somewhere doing

705

something, whether it's with somebody or

by myself.

706

And people have shared with me that it

encourages them while they might not be

707

adventurous to go zip lining like I did or

get on a Vespa scooter or whatever, just

708

to get out of their norm.

709

It has encouraged, like you said, that

representation matters and seeing somebody

710

do it at any age.

711

They watch my young people do it.

712

They watch my kids do it, they watch me do

it, and knowing that, you know, that

713

encourages them, they can do it too.

714

And that feels good when you see somebody,

I had a friend who, she just talked about

715

travel, talked about travel, but she never

really, you know, went anywhere and that

716

was fine, that was her comfort zone.

717

And then one day I look up on social

media, she's on a plane going to Dubai.

718

I was like, I had a, I called her by the

time I saw the picture, she was already

719

home.

720

I called her up and I was like, what's up,

what's up?

721

Finally just did it somebody invited me I

said why not and she told me that I had

722

encouraged her just kind of watching me

Kind of go and had encouraged her when the

723

opportunity came for her to just go on her

own.

724

So like you said representation matters

and just the inspiration of wanting to I

725

Think you said it's on one of your shows

talking about You learn so much traveling

726

you learn so much about yourself.

727

You learn so much about the world

728

You dispel a lot of the stereotypes and

misrepresentations that you might have had

729

or grew up with.

730

You just learn so much.

731

And that's what I want for my children

specifically, but for anybody I encounter,

732

I want to say, travel so you can kind of

get to know yourself better and travel so

733

you can get to know the world better and

understand that, you know, don't just live

734

in that little bubble.

735

Yeah, I think there's also this

misconception that there's always more

736

time.

737

Unfortunately, that's not guaranteed for

anybody.

738

Uh, I've, you know, seeing coworkers, you

retire and a month later you dropped it.

739

Or I've also had coworkers that died

months before they retire and you have all

740

of these plans for, you know, when, when

this gets ready or when I get this ride

741

or.

742

And he's sleeping and all that stuff.

743

Yep.

744

then, because there's always gonna be

another goalpost.

745

There's always going to be another measure

of one more thing and one more thing and

746

well, as soon as this and well, I gotta,

why wait?

747

Cause you ain't do it before.

748

Like let the now of things be the reason

why you go.

749

Because you never fucking know.

750

Like I was talking with one of my

coworkers earlier today.

751

And we were saying something about when

our dogs die.

752

I was talking about, I don't know, I know

why you, I understand why you shouldn't

753

bury your pet in your backyard.

754

But I was like, well, I know my great

grandma dog is in that ground.

755

So I'm thinking like, maybe I'm gonna put

Binksie there, but I'm just like, no, I'm

756

not gonna do that.

757

I'm gonna do this.

758

And then I was talking to another one of

my coworkers.

759

No, and then he was just like, but you

know what?

760

We could go first.

761

I said, you know the fuck what?

762

You absolutely right.

763

I'm talking about, you know, doing all of

these things for my dog for a sweet 16 and

764

cause I dropped the ball on Quinceanera,

sorry bangs.

765

But it's like, I'm all of this planning

and I want to do this and I'm just, I

766

could go before the damn dog.

767

By the grace of God, I'm only here now.

768

I done been through plenty of shit that

maybe I shouldn't have made it.

769

Exactly.

770

Right.

771

the point is, is like, you could wait all

your life and then realize, now I got

772

arthritis, now I got a bad back, now I

can't see out the left eye or now, and

773

then what, if you will, I don't wanna say

what as if someone with mobility

774

restrictions or any types of disabilities

still don't enjoy experiences and travel.

775

But like if you've always dreamed of

walking across the Great Wall of China and

776

it comes to us, I'm gonna wait until I

retire and then I'm gonna walk across and

777

it's just like, well, by the time you

retire, first of all, the way shit is set

778

up now, we ain't retiring until 70 and

better.

779

God bless, God bless those of y'all who.

780

yes.

781

while you are still young and healthy and,

you know, have the bodies that you are

782

used to doing all of the things with,

right?

783

But the oper- and then if you retire,

who's to say something else in your life

784

doesn't all of a sudden now need you?

785

Because for those of us that are still

blessed to have like our parents in our

786

lives as we age, I watched my mom.

787

Bust her ass my whole life.

788

Took care of me and my brother and my dad,

because my dad was like the third kid.

789

Hi, daddy.

790

So hard.

791

But you watch your parents, parent, right?

792

For your entire lives.

793

And then my grandparents, my grandfather

got sick.

794

And so my mom was there, she was always

there.

795

She always take care of my grandpa.

796

And then my mom, I think my mom retired

after.

797

my grandpa passed or was it before?

798

I don't remember which one is it's just

like, I think she retired right before my

799

grandpa died, but it's just like you

retire and now you spend every day taking

800

care of your parents.

801

And so it's just like, while you still

might have had the wind, while you still

802

might have had like, you know, that extra

energy because you're used to getting up

803

every morning, I mean, she still get up in

the morning, every morning at 630 in the

804

morning, God bless.

805

But it's like, while you still have the

rotation of being at work and you getting

806

up and you moving and you going and you're

coming and going, enjoy your life while

807

you have it.

808

Enjoy your life while you have it because

it is never a guarantee.

809

And like you were saying, travel gives you

that opportunity to experience yourself in

810

different ways and to learn so much more

about life.

811

So why not give yourself the opportunity

to enjoy the life that you have left?

812

You know what I mean?

813

It's you.

814

would I personally know that I would, I

don't wanna say I would hate to have like

815

an incredible aha moment about something

in my life past the point of when it would

816

be something easy to explore or endeavor.

817

Like I would hate to say, you know what?

818

Maybe I should take up yoga like.

819

when my back really starts going, I don't

have the best back, but like, I would hate

820

to say, I really want to try that shit

when it hurts even more.

821

You know what I mean?

822

So I really would just encourage people to

get out and explore while you have your

823

desire to do it, whatever your mobility

may look like, whatever, because you never

824

know that you might discover something

that makes something that's not going

825

right, go better someplace else.

826

A lot of times the answers you may be

looking for or didn't necessarily know.

827

there was an answer to, or just out there

someplace else.

828

But you have to give yourself that

opportunity and that space to try

829

something new or to be in the space for

that opportunity to actually meet you.

830

And yeah, I think that there are, you

know, so many adults.

831

That's one of the things that I would say,

I probably heard most, not most, well, you

832

hear it from everybody,

833

point.

834

like when I started traveling, what I

hated so much was hearing like my mom say,

835

oh, when I retire, I'll do this, or I'm

gonna wait till, you know, retire for

836

this.

837

And it's, you hear so many people say it.

838

And now that I'm at that age where you can

kind of talk to your coworkers a little

839

bit differently and have different

conversations with them, it's kind of

840

like, no, I want y'all to go now.

841

Like.

842

now.

843

You looking at me talking about, oh, where

are you going now, young lady?

844

Where are you going next?

845

I don't know, Ms.

846

So-and-so.

847

Ms.

848

D, where are you going?

849

Where are you going, Cleveland?

850

What you gonna check out?

851

You know what I mean?

852

It's just like, it doesn't, it's not a

young person's thing.

853

The world doesn't belong to the young.

854

The world doesn't belong to the old.

855

We all fucking here.

856

And there's young and old people

everywhere.

857

So if older people are making shit shake

in Japan, you can make shit shake in Japan

858

at whatever age you are.

859

You just gotta get yourself there.

860

Exactly.

861

Right.

862

I agree.

863

I agree so much.

864

And I, like I said, I didn't really, I

guess, get really into my travel.

865

We get an opportunity to, it's not about

opportunity.

866

Opportunity was always there.

867

I didn't take the opportunity until I was

really in my 50s when I really started

868

taking the opportunity to travel.

869

I mean, I've basically been somewhere when

I could because that whole two and a half

870

years that we couldn't.

871

But then the time that I could, I went and

I found a way.

872

And it always seems when I plan a trip,

maybe the week of, I start getting sick.

873

I get a toothache, I get a little pain, a

little something.

874

Something is trying to feel like it's

trying to discourage me from going.

875

But I've learned to push, just push

through it, and realize, not let anything

876

deter me.

877

and just go and I am so glad on the other

side that I didn't let some something was

878

trying to stop me go.

879

I mean I don't let them.

880

It's always some kind of financial thing

comes up some bill out of nowhere comes up

881

and it's just like I remember we were on

going on our honeymoon me and my husband

882

and I'm in the in the airport trying to

negotiate this bill that came out of

883

nowhere and I don't know where this money

because I you know going

884

Right.

885

Everything was set we go on this honeymoon

and all of a sudden out of nowhere I just

886

get this email and it's like I forgot

about that So I'm on the phone negotiating

887

as they tell me to put my phone in

airplane I'm on the phone, but I'm not

888

gonna let anything Stop me, you know

because it always works out in the end.

889

It always works out But just like it's

always some reason why you shouldn't do it

890

why you can't like you say

891

I'll do it then I'll do it whenever I'll

do it when this happens when that happens

892

when the stars align whenever whatever and

it's just like you look up and years have

893

passed and you haven't done it and then

like I said now I want to think I want to

894

go everywhere like I want to go to every

continent I want to go to so many

895

different countries I want to just get

that passport just use it up and as many

896

places as I can go in a time I can use it

and I just won't let

897

I don't know.

898

I just at the point now, you said it's

very intentional and I won't let anything

899

stop From going and I'm going to go as

long as I can go because like you said

900

when you get some place Then you look over

and there's somebody older than you You

901

know right next to and it's like you would

get ready to They're there and you're just

902

sitting home contemplating why you can and

when you know, um We get ready to do.

903

Um a cruise me and my husband and my

cousin and her husband

904

um To to panacana.

905

I don't know what's that.

906

I mean, I know what the panacana is, you

know, theoretically but I don't know if

907

it's something that i'm into or whatever,

but it was just It came up.

908

It was like, okay, why not?

909

And so we're going to do um, It's nine day

cruise to The panacana grand cayman carter

910

hania.

911

I always think about you when I think

about carter hana.

912

So we're gonna have a stop in carter hana

and costa rica

913

So those are the four stops and I I've

never been to any of those places and I'm

914

so excited and I've been doing my research

I've been going back and listening to some

915

of your old Podcasts and listening to

okay.

916

So I found about your card, hey And I'm

like you Yeah, because we're there for

917

like a certain amount of time so I don't

know we can make it work out definitely

918

appreciate it like the things that you

talk about

919

in your travels, you really inspire me and

you provide that representation even

920

though you know somebody say well oh she's

young she could do that.

921

No when I hear you do things I'm like I

can do that I can go there and it's so

922

inspiring when I hear you talk about like

I want to go to Joshua Tree but after I

923

heard you talk about it I just look at

your pictures and I just say you know

924

that's on my list now and

925

Your trip to Mexico, I did get an

opportunity to go to a wedding in Mexico

926

in September.

927

And me and my husband went.

928

We were in Cancun, right outside of

Cancun.

929

I can't remember the name of it.

930

Puerto, don't get me wrong.

931

Oh, Puerto, oh, no, I'm thinking Playa Del

Carmen.

932

Puerto, shit, because I think we looked at

staying someplace there.

933

And we went, it was like, it wasn't my

typical kind of vacation because I really

934

like you.

935

I don't really do like the all-inclusive.

936

I like to get into the locals, like to be

in the mix of everything.

937

But I had never been before.

938

Opportunity came up, it was a wedding for

a friend.

939

So me and my daughter, we found a little

cheap flight and found a booking for the

940

same resort for half price.

941

Then they were offering it.

942

And we just got on the plane and went down

there.

943

Um, yeah, so I just wanna, I just wanna

go.

944

I just wanna have a good time.

945

Sometimes, you know, I'll go by myself.

946

I'll go with other people.

947

I won't let other people not going stop me

from going.

948

But yeah, that's, I'm excited about the

cruise now.

949

And I'm just always on a lookout for

whether it's a local tour around my own

950

city or a flight and a cruise or whatever.

951

in another country.

952

It's all travel to me and it's all

opportunity and I've never done so yeah.

953

Yeah.

954

Even staying local, I personally think is

travel related because if I gotta find a

955

way to get there, that is the nature of

travel.

956

I think that for so long, I made travel

out to be something so big and elaborate

957

that I also kind of, I wouldn't say

discredit it, but probably discredit it

958

some.

959

excursions and trips and experiences as if

they were just some little thing or it was

960

like, no, you traveled, you did a little

something.

961

And I think that the same experiences

sometimes that we get when we go to Mexico

962

or Colombia or to, you know, the Chinas of

the world, it's like you, you could

963

absolutely do that an hour from your

house.

964

A lot of the time, we are looking for that

965

Right.

966

and the unfamiliar also exists locally.

967

Go to a new restaurant, go to a new, like,

exactly, the stuff that people are coming

968

to your city to do, tap into it.

969

Because that's another thing that I've

mentioned before, is just like, I don't

970

even think I'm a great host.

971

There are so many things about New York

that I know, it's like I live here.

972

So when somebody says, oh, well, what you

do?

973

Girl, I go to work.

974

What do you do at home?

975

Okay, like I go to work, that's it.

976

Like I, and then it's just like, no, you

do things, right?

977

But you do life things, but try to find,

where are your top three restaurants in

978

your neighborhood?

979

If somebody were coming to your city, like

where would you take them?

980

Where are places that are really nice to

walk?

981

Where are places that are really nice to

have a picnic?

982

Explore your own city and that same kind

of, oh, this is nice.

983

Ooh, just, oh, I needed that.

984

or just needed a little break or a little

kind of separation from the stress of

985

this, this cousin's always complaining

about this, my grandma asking for this,

986

whatever it is, you can get that

experience that you're looking to get from

987

travel from someplace local.

988

And if you don't wanna stay in your own

city, try going to the next day over, try

989

going to wherever like, shout out to Kenya

and Croatia.

990

on the charts there.

991

I don't know what y'all regions are

called, but go to the next one and

992

consider that it don't have to necessarily

be, go on to like, I don't know if

993

everybody has Amtrak, but if you have like

a train system or a bus system, if you

994

wanna keep it cute and economical, what's

an hour away?

995

What's an hour away that you ain't been to

before?

996

Check it out.

997

Stay overnight or just go for,

998

Make it up early in God's name.

999

Philly is a really bomb road trip.

00:58:02,352 --> 00:58:09,456

We were looking to go to Janamone, best

concert I went to all fucking year.

00:58:09,456 --> 00:58:12,398

And we were looking into making a trip of

it.

00:58:12,398 --> 00:58:16,560

Like, all right, well, let's see where we

can go see her where we will have a good

00:58:16,560 --> 00:58:16,740

time.

00:58:16,740 --> 00:58:19,722

So of course, Montreal was top of the

list, but then those sold out.

00:58:19,722 --> 00:58:23,084

Then we were looking at, all right, well,

my cousins are in DC, so let's put DC on

00:58:23,084 --> 00:58:23,584

the list.

00:58:23,584 --> 00:58:26,726

They had like standing room only, and I

don't know, I'll do standing room.

00:58:27,501 --> 00:58:28,242

You're good.

00:58:28,242 --> 00:58:28,342

OK.

00:58:28,342 --> 00:58:28,902

No.

00:58:29,835 --> 00:58:32,056

Run me a seat, I will pay extra.

00:58:32,817 --> 00:58:33,618

What else would we look at?

00:58:33,618 --> 00:58:38,181

Toronto, I don't hate Toronto, but it's

not Montreal, but we thought about going

00:58:38,181 --> 00:58:38,941

there.

00:58:39,262 --> 00:58:43,165

And then we were looking at Philly and we

were kind of like, do we want to go to

00:58:43,165 --> 00:58:43,885

this venue?

00:58:43,885 --> 00:58:46,447

Like if we go, are we going to stay

overnight?

00:58:46,447 --> 00:58:51,070

And then it's just like, how does it feel

to stay overnight when we an hour and a

00:58:51,070 --> 00:58:51,871

half away?

00:58:51,871 --> 00:58:55,553

Do you really want to stay overnight or do

we would just want to like, what are we

00:58:55,553 --> 00:58:56,373

doing?

00:58:56,414 --> 00:59:00,935

you can absolutely travel for a basketball

game, for a sports game.

00:59:00,935 --> 00:59:06,116

If you know your team is playing someplace

local, go see the game over there.

00:59:06,116 --> 00:59:07,757

It don't, hello.

00:59:07,757 --> 00:59:10,277

Right, because they not even your team,

you know?

00:59:10,277 --> 00:59:14,418

So it's just like, you could get the seats

in the back, just make an event of it.

00:59:14,418 --> 00:59:20,280

I think sometimes making an event of some

of the little things of life kind of give

00:59:20,280 --> 00:59:25,261

you that little refresh or the little...

00:59:25,770 --> 00:59:30,674

you know, pick me up sometimes that the

world is falling apart around us.

00:59:30,674 --> 00:59:32,756

It is always falling apart around us.

00:59:32,756 --> 00:59:39,201

We got to do our own job of like checking

in with ourselves and making sure that we

00:59:39,201 --> 00:59:42,143

could kind of make it through if the world

going to make it through.

00:59:43,285 --> 00:59:45,927

We got to be here.

00:59:45,927 --> 00:59:46,668

God willing.

00:59:46,668 --> 00:59:48,249

That's it.

00:59:48,249 --> 00:59:48,432

You.

00:59:48,432 --> 00:59:53,475

know, I'll we'll get up and just go down

and the waterfront is literally a few

00:59:53,475 --> 00:59:54,676

blocks away.

00:59:54,756 --> 00:59:58,759

You know, we'll either walk down there or

go to like a park.

00:59:58,759 --> 01:00:00,420

You know, you get inside of the park.

01:00:00,420 --> 01:00:04,323

And sometimes, you know, in most cities,

there's a national park, like you said,

01:00:04,323 --> 01:00:08,545

within an hour, when you get inside that

national park, and a lot of times they're

01:00:08,545 --> 01:00:10,575

free or really inexpensive.

01:00:10,575 --> 01:00:14,985

Once you get inside, you forget all about

what's outside.

01:00:14,985 --> 01:00:19,180

So I'm always, you forget, yeah?

01:00:19,180 --> 01:00:22,742

it's not even the, you know, you can get

the experience of being in the city and

01:00:22,742 --> 01:00:26,143

then you can get the experience of being

outside in nature.

01:00:26,504 --> 01:00:32,027

So I have one last question I wanted to

ask you in terms of your travel planning

01:00:32,027 --> 01:00:36,209

and finding information, like where do you

find your information?

01:00:36,209 --> 01:00:43,613

Cause I'm curious as to if, um, different

demographics find information in different

01:00:43,613 --> 01:00:44,693

spaces.

01:00:44,706 --> 01:00:49,649

and what, like, for example, right?

01:00:49,649 --> 01:00:52,551

So I don't, what was I listening to?

01:00:52,591 --> 01:00:57,675

The Friend Zone, one of my favorite

podcasts, and I am doing a catch up.

01:00:57,675 --> 01:01:02,919

Like I had fallen into like a crime

junkie, kind of crime, true crime hole,

01:01:02,919 --> 01:01:05,440

and that's all I was listening to for like

a month.

01:01:05,440 --> 01:01:07,342

So I missed a bunch of episodes.

01:01:07,342 --> 01:01:12,085

So I'm catching up on Friend Zone, and

there was an episode Asante did about

01:01:12,085 --> 01:01:13,065

scamming.

01:01:13,170 --> 01:01:13,566

Okay.

01:01:13,566 --> 01:01:23,213

many scams and one of the sentiments that

the hosts had expressed was really being

01:01:23,213 --> 01:01:26,035

worried about like our parents or you know

our elders.

01:01:26,035 --> 01:01:30,658

A lot of us don't necessarily live close

or in the same city or in the same states

01:01:30,658 --> 01:01:34,841

as our parents and a lot of times you know

you

01:01:38,535 --> 01:01:39,266

Uh huh.

01:01:40,894 --> 01:01:44,636

maybe put a little more trust in

technology or vice versa.

01:01:44,636 --> 01:01:50,140

They may be really weary of trusting

technology because in some cases it's much

01:01:50,140 --> 01:01:50,920

newer.

01:01:50,920 --> 01:01:57,485

So I'm curious as to, is there like a

generational divide in how we find our

01:01:57,485 --> 01:02:01,568

information or the places that we go to

get our information, right?

01:02:01,568 --> 01:02:06,231

Because I'm also realizing Google ain't

the same Google that it was when I started

01:02:06,231 --> 01:02:07,532

Googling.

01:02:07,532 --> 01:02:09,673

And I absolutely found an article

01:02:12,002 --> 01:02:17,424

Now I wanted to say a word that's not

actually a word, like vila vindicated or

01:02:17,424 --> 01:02:17,764

something.

01:02:17,764 --> 01:02:24,967

I don't know where the fuck I was going

with it, but that it gave, the sentiment

01:02:24,967 --> 01:02:27,208

is like, it made me feel better about it.

01:02:27,208 --> 01:02:30,730

It, validified, that's where it was.

01:02:30,730 --> 01:02:33,411

Woo, damn, I was reaching.

01:02:33,411 --> 01:02:40,233

It validified for me that, no, something's

up.

01:02:40,323 --> 01:02:40,878

Uh huh.

01:02:40,878 --> 01:02:46,399

Google has changed their algorithm or they

do something so you could type in a search

01:02:46,399 --> 01:02:47,819

and it's giving you something for free.

01:02:47,819 --> 01:02:50,860

So I thought I was fucking stupid.

01:02:50,860 --> 01:02:55,542

I thought that it's just like, oh, I'm

just not using Google appropriately or

01:02:55,542 --> 01:02:58,042

it's just my Google, whatever.

01:02:58,042 --> 01:03:00,763

So there are so many different ways to

find information.

01:03:00,763 --> 01:03:07,445

There are so many different ways to kind

of screen your information and the lens,

01:03:07,445 --> 01:03:09,802

if you will, of how you get.

01:03:09,802 --> 01:03:17,808

your information, I'm curious as to where

you find, you know, your, not just like

01:03:17,808 --> 01:03:19,410

inspiration, but like the answers.

01:03:19,410 --> 01:03:23,093

When you're looking for a question or when

you're looking up and researching a

01:03:23,093 --> 01:03:27,837

destination, like what are the places that

you necessarily point your attention

01:03:27,837 --> 01:03:28,697

towards?

01:03:29,563 --> 01:03:33,566

Well, I usually like I love to read so

that's kind of where it's a lot of times

01:03:33,566 --> 01:03:38,310

That's that kind of becomes my inspiration

and reading and just let my imagination

01:03:38,310 --> 01:03:41,773

flow to like these different places and

experiences That's kind of where it

01:03:41,773 --> 01:03:42,333

starts.

01:03:42,333 --> 01:03:49,479

But once I Determined once I decide on a

place or even like a region or whatever I

01:03:49,479 --> 01:03:54,782

really like Facebook I joined a Facebook

group from that place

01:03:55,231 --> 01:04:00,013

A lot of times you with the chats in the

comments you just can learn so much from

01:04:00,013 --> 01:04:04,056

either people who visit that place a lot

or people who live in that space and

01:04:04,056 --> 01:04:06,857

Especially when you're looking for a

certain kind of experiences like black

01:04:06,857 --> 01:04:12,280

history or you know certain kind of

Specific interests you can ask those

01:04:12,280 --> 01:04:15,682

questions and usually get a lot of answers

from that.

01:04:15,682 --> 01:04:16,582

I love YouTube.

01:04:16,582 --> 01:04:23,666

I'm a YouTube Junkie I will sit and watch

YouTube videos about a destination one

01:04:23,666 --> 01:04:24,299

thing

01:04:24,299 --> 01:04:29,141

One of the reasons how I started listening

to you is just finding representation

01:04:29,462 --> 01:04:33,244

about places that I hadn't been because a

lot of people, I don't know, they just

01:04:33,244 --> 01:04:36,225

didn't, when you go on news today, they

don't look like us a lot of times.

01:04:36,225 --> 01:04:41,048

A lot of times, especially when you look

at national, like national parks and

01:04:41,428 --> 01:04:44,390

museums and places like that, more

historic areas.

01:04:44,390 --> 01:04:48,893

When I was doing research for the European

trip, a lot, it was, it was almost

01:04:48,893 --> 01:04:52,274

impossible to find someone who

01:04:52,827 --> 01:04:53,687

some representation.

01:04:53,687 --> 01:04:57,868

That's my who would experience the way

that I was hoping to experience it.

01:04:58,228 --> 01:05:02,209

That's one of the reasons why I do want

to, I don't know how I want to do it yet,

01:05:02,209 --> 01:05:07,611

but I want to be getting involved in

showing people that people like you do

01:05:07,611 --> 01:05:08,431

these things.

01:05:08,431 --> 01:05:12,712

Black people ski, black people do national

parks, black people do water sports,

01:05:12,712 --> 01:05:13,852

whatever it is.

01:05:13,852 --> 01:05:18,834

I want people to see that it's not, you

know, we're out there.

01:05:18,834 --> 01:05:19,314

We're out there.

01:05:19,314 --> 01:05:20,394

We're doing something.

01:05:20,434 --> 01:05:22,375

But, um, so I'm a YouTube.

01:05:22,375 --> 01:05:27,979

person I go and do a lot of research there

and Then I will you know do Google a

01:05:27,979 --> 01:05:32,603

little bit But like you said I'm finding

more and more that you get me rabbit holes

01:05:32,603 --> 01:05:35,825

It's really hard to pinpoint what you're

looking for.

01:05:35,825 --> 01:05:41,510

So with that being said I Sucked to my

oldest daughter and she introduced me

01:05:41,510 --> 01:05:46,534

recently to chat GPT So that's my thing

now.

01:05:46,674 --> 01:05:51,878

I love chat GPT AI Generated stuff like

that

01:05:52,867 --> 01:05:56,229

I go in and I just type whatever questions

in my head.

01:05:56,429 --> 01:06:02,253

I was looking for, for the crews that were

going on, I'm looking for Afro-centric

01:06:02,253 --> 01:06:05,115

experiences in the different ports.

01:06:05,476 --> 01:06:08,517

I don't just wanna do the touristy thing.

01:06:08,538 --> 01:06:16,003

So I just ask, what type of Afro-centric

experiences can I do in this port, that

01:06:16,003 --> 01:06:16,863

port?

01:06:17,004 --> 01:06:19,946

And AI is just, it'll just run it down.

01:06:19,946 --> 01:06:21,095

Like if you wait.

01:06:21,095 --> 01:06:27,380

30 seconds and it just runs it all down

and Just shares with you Specifically

01:06:27,380 --> 01:06:31,763

based on the question you can get as you

just keep going and going and going get as

01:06:31,763 --> 01:06:37,088

deep into it as you want to go Now found

out in Costa Rica.

01:06:37,088 --> 01:06:43,873

We're going to a port called limon and the

mole is the Caribbean side of Costa Rica,

01:06:43,873 --> 01:06:50,331

so that's not the I saw that Please send

me that

01:06:50,331 --> 01:06:53,313

And I think I think I want somebody to

just see that.

01:06:53,313 --> 01:06:55,154

And so send me that information.

01:06:55,154 --> 01:07:02,139

But she, but when I went and chat GPT, I

just type what kind of Afrocentric

01:07:02,139 --> 01:07:05,481

experiences can you do in Limon?

01:07:06,242 --> 01:07:11,325

The cruise ship, you know, their

excursions are going to be geared mostly

01:07:11,325 --> 01:07:17,030

not towards to everybody, kind of the

general population and the touristy kind

01:07:17,030 --> 01:07:18,607

of crowd.

01:07:18,607 --> 01:07:21,307

that's not looking for the same

experiences I'm looking for.

01:07:21,688 --> 01:07:26,110

And when I put it in chat GPT, they told

me about, like, there's a statue of, like,

01:07:26,110 --> 01:07:33,513

a Black Christ at this Catholic church,

like, in the hood, you know?

01:07:33,513 --> 01:07:34,973

And they tell you how to get there.

01:07:34,973 --> 01:07:36,534

Like, there's safe ways to get there.

01:07:36,534 --> 01:07:41,596

So when you go, you've done your research,

but you've done it a little deeper than

01:07:41,596 --> 01:07:44,497

just the typical stuff that people are

going to do.

01:07:44,657 --> 01:07:48,298

I might not do everything on that list,

but now I have a list.

01:07:48,647 --> 01:07:53,008

But I want to find out where's the best

jerk chicken in Grand Cayman.

01:07:53,008 --> 01:07:57,810

You type that in chat GPT and it will run

you down a whole list of restaurants.

01:07:57,810 --> 01:08:02,432

And then you can kind of go on whatever

and do your reviews and kind of see what

01:08:02,432 --> 01:08:03,253

the vibe is.

01:08:03,253 --> 01:08:05,753

Look at some pictures, go on social media.

01:08:06,474 --> 01:08:09,835

I always just follow different people on

Instagram.

01:08:09,835 --> 01:08:14,858

Whatever restaurant I see I follow it so I

can start to get a feel as I'm leading up

01:08:14,858 --> 01:08:15,838

to the trip.

01:08:15,838 --> 01:08:17,495

Are they having any kind of...

01:08:17,495 --> 01:08:22,658

special events, any special days, any

discounts coming up, any deals are coming

01:08:22,658 --> 01:08:27,861

up while I'm going to be there, any music

festivals or special, I love live music,

01:08:27,861 --> 01:08:29,922

are they having any live music events?

01:08:29,922 --> 01:08:36,786

You know, so that's kind of been my new

tool, my newest tool is chat GPT and AI

01:08:36,786 --> 01:08:38,046

doing things like that.

01:08:38,046 --> 01:08:42,049

And I know there's like a lot of

controversy around it, but for travel,

01:08:42,049 --> 01:08:45,410

that's been where I've gotten really

precise.

01:08:45,535 --> 01:08:47,782

answers to the questions I have.

01:08:47,917 --> 01:08:50,239

I don't know why I never thought of that.

01:08:50,239 --> 01:08:54,461

That is like, thank you to your baby.

01:08:54,962 --> 01:08:57,123

Thank you, little miss boy.

01:08:57,263 --> 01:09:00,945

Wow, that is absolutely something I'm

going to see.

01:09:00,945 --> 01:09:03,567

I've been very age aside.

01:09:03,567 --> 01:09:07,749

I am a little weary about new tech

sometimes.

01:09:07,749 --> 01:09:14,453

It just, I get very easily frustrated if

I'm not good at something right away.

01:09:14,493 --> 01:09:15,233

So.

01:09:15,438 --> 01:09:21,819

Unfortunately, I tend to kind of stick to

the rivers and the lakes that I'm used to,

01:09:21,819 --> 01:09:22,799

if you will.

01:09:24,000 --> 01:09:29,601

And in certain little realms and in

certain respects, I know that I can branch

01:09:29,601 --> 01:09:30,522

out a bit more, right?

01:09:30,522 --> 01:09:35,323