Episode takeaways

Frequent Business Travel, International Business Travel often comes with the job, with higher responsibilities often comes need to travel, eg regional manager

Do you know a mom who travels for work? Are you a mom who travels for work?

Maximise the Benefits

• When mothers travel, families often become more adaptable: fathers take on more caregiving responsibilities, children develop greater independence, and mothers include breadwinning into motherhood as well as caregiving. Swenson (2016)
• Role modeling for children
• Time for self
• Allows for fostering of other attachment bonds with grandparents, father for example

Reflection question: What positive opportunities does my work travel create for me, my children, and our family? How can I recognise and intentionally strengthen the ways my travelling role contributes to our family’s growth, resilience, independence, and connection?

Adjust to Face the Challenges

• Many mothers continue carrying the family's mental load while travelling, making it difficult to fully switch into work mode. Help shape a new resource about travelling without carrying the whole household in your head. Give your input (2 min) https://forms.gle/5CsPLFmQHMZTx2846
• Mäkelä et al. (2015) studied more than 1,300 Finnish frequent business travellers and found that an increase in international business travel days was associated with higher levels of work–family conflict among parents. While women with dependent children generally reported lower work–family conflict than comparable men, their work–family conflict also increased as the number of travel days rose.

Reflection Question: How many travel days can you comfortably manage before you begin to notice increased work–family conflict? What adjustments could help you stay below that threshold?

• Many moms who travel for work will have supportive husbands AND extended families who live nearby like parents/in laws. Bear this in mind when abroad. YOu may need to outsource more help.
• Young children, attachment with newborns and toddlers. Worry about when to go back to travel after giving birth In #25 Being a Mother and a Frequent Traveller – with Karina Lagarrigue - Rhoda Bangerter beginning at 30:43, Karina Lagarrigue and I discuss leaving children under 2 years old.
• Criticisms from family or friends

If criticism comes from family members

"Can you tell me what concerns you most?"

This can reveal whether they're worried about the children, safety, or simply expressing traditional beliefs. It opens a conversation instead of an argument.

You can acknowledge the challenge without agreeing that travel is harmful.

When you don't want to justify yourself

"I appreciate your concern, but we're comfortable with the choices we've made as a family."

Favourite Tips From Other Moms

• One tip for young children

Lidia Lae Explaining even to an eight month old

#58 How to create your family story even miles apart– with Lidia Lae - Rhoda Bangerter Listen to the story Lidia Lae tells of explaining to her eight month old that she will be travelling for three weeks. The story begins at 21:29. Just before the story, she explains her daughter is now her 10 year old who says how much ‘she loves to be part of this family’.

• One ‘be careful’ tip for older children: beware of parentification. Check in with your children if, white you are away, they feel they need to take on responsibility that is not theirs to take.
• One communication favourite:

Elizabeth Verwey shares her story of travelling for work. She shares a time when she went into her grown up son’s room and finds all the sticky notes she has ever left him, stuck to the back of his bedroom door. #26 When a Mother Travels For Work – with Elizabeth Verwey - Rhoda Bangerter

Reflection question: What small, consistent practices help me stay connected with my children and partner while I am away, and what changes could I make to ensure my travel strengthens rather than strains our family relationships?

If you want to listen to two mothers discussing travel, this episode is an honest conversation. One mother has a toddler and the other two children under 10. They both have supportive husbands and parents/in-laws nearby.

In conclusion, get that support network, get aligned with your choices.

‘As long as we are confident with the choices we have made and we are settled in what we want to do with our life. And we feel good because there is a lot of research that says that if you are at your best, if you are feeling well, if you have no doubts, if when you are present you're fully present, if when you are at work you're feeling okay, you are not burning out, you are enjoying life, this is the best example you can ever give to your children’ #25 Being a Mother and a Frequent Traveller – with Karina Lagarrigue - Rhoda Bangerter

Reflection question: Have I fully accepted that being a mum who travels for work is part of my story? Do I feel aligned with both my career ambitions and my role as a mother, or am I still carrying guilt, conflict, or pressure to choose one over the other?

What would greater alignment look like for me and my family?

“Greater alignment would mean feeling confident that my children know they are loved and prioritised, even when I travel. It would mean having clear routines for staying connected, making sure my partner and I are working as a team, and allowing myself to value my career without feeling guilty.”

Or:

“Greater alignment would mean that my work travel fits into our family life rather than constantly disrupting it. It would mean being intentional about the time we have together, creating rituals for when I leave and return, and recognising the positive example I am setting for my children.”

Ask what support looks like for her

Every travelling mother has a different reality. The best way to support a mother who travels for work is to ask

• “What part of your travel schedule feels hardest right now?”
• “What would make the time you travel easier?”
• “What do you find yourself carrying that others don’t see?”
• “How can I help you stay connected with your family while you’re away?”

Ultimately, the greatest gift is helping her feel that she does not have to choose between being a committed mother and a committed professional — she can be supported in being both.

Help Shape a New Resource for Travelling Parents

I'm considering creating a free guide for mothers who travel for work about letting go of the mental load at home and travelling without carrying the whole household in your head.

I'd love your input: [Take the 1-minute survey]

https://forms.gle/5CsPLFmQHMZTx2846

Dads at home ‘holding the fort’:

#33 Primary Care Giver: A Dad Speaks Out – with Patrick Kadian - Rhoda Bangerter

#4: Life as Holding the Fort Dad – with Robert H - Rhoda Bangerter