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In this episode...

Why Who You’re Being Matters in Claiming Your Calling With Donna Tashjian

https://faithfulontheclock.com/why-who-youre-being-matters-in-claiming-your-calling-with-donna-tashjian

Intro teaser paragraph:

Episode 158 of Faithful on the Clock welcomes guest Donna Tashjian for guidance on how to claim the calling God always intended us to live out.

Timestamps:

[00:04] - Intro

[00:40] - Donna’s bio and background

[10:33] - Why what feels natural is what you might be called to do

[12:56] - Basic advice on finding your people

[14:28] - Making finding your people fit into real life

[16:57] - The meaning of success

[23:04] - The biggest struggles people have in reaching out to be who they really are

[26:09] - What Donna has found useful for leaving the hang-ups that hold her back

[29:55] - How getting into the Word helps change our perception of who we are to God, and how to approach study

[31:55] - Addressing the emotions that can hold us back

[37:30] - Developing greater self-awareness for regulation and decision-making

[41:45] - The exponential effect of regulating ourselves to help others step into their own identity and calling

[43:19] - Donna’s main takeaways

[47:26] - How to connect with Donna

[48:03] - Prayer

[49:08] - Outro/What’s coming up next

Key takeaways:

• Your past shapes you, but doesn't have to define you. Difficult experiences and the messages spoken over us can create "identity theft," causing us to see ourselves through wounds instead of through God's perspective. The work is recognizing those distortions and choosing not to let them dictate the future.
• Success is faithfulness, not achievement. Worldly definitions of success often are based on titles, income, status, and recognition. But we can frame success as loving God, loving people, showing kindness, and maintaining a pure heart.
• Excuses often disguise a loss of agency. Phrases like "I'm too busy" can reinforce a sense of helplessness. Reframing life as a series of choices helps people reclaim responsibility and see possibilities they previously overlooked.
• Self-awareness creates choice. Emotions are valuable information, but they should not drive decisions. Developing awareness of what you're believing and feeling allows you to respond intentionally rather than react automatically.
• You bring God into the workplace primarily through who you are. Christians often focus too much on what they say and not enough on who they are. Peace, joy, kindness, wisdom, and emotional regulation can be powerful expressions of faith at work.
• Small acts of kindness have exponential influence. Joy and kindness affect the emotional atmosphere around us. We can either absorb and mirror tension or intentionally bring peace into a room, helping others regulate and function more effectively.

• Vibrant Living Website

CTAs:

• Take five minutes to write down how you're currently measuring success. Then ask yourself whether those measures align with God's definition of success or the world's. If they don't, what needs to change?
• The next time you find yourself frustrated, anxious, or reactive at work, don't immediately respond. Take a moment to ask yourself Donna's question: “What am I believing right now?”
• Choose one environment this week — a meeting, a client call, your office, your home — and intentionally bring peace, encouragement, or kindness into it. Don't wait for the atmosphere to change. Be the person who changes it.

What’s coming up next:

Episode 159 of Faithful on the Clock shows us how to biblically address the counterintuitive grief that’s often involved under the surface when we move on to good things in the workplace.

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[Thibodeaux]

Hi, again, listeners. It’s me, your host, Wanda Thibodeaux, and you’re listening to Faithful on the Clock, the podcast for Christian professionals where all the books get read to get your faith and work aligned. If you’re not sure what your purpose is and are even less sure about how to claim it with confidence, pay attention, because today I’m welcoming special guest Donna Tashjian. She’s gonna help us focus not on what we’re doing, but on who we’re being so we can truly claim our calling. Let’s get started.

[Thibodeaux]

Hello, everybody, and thanks for listening to Faithful on the Clock. I'm your host, Wanda Thibodeaux, and I'm chatting with special guest Donna Tashjian. Donna is the founder of Vibrant Living International, where she serves as a life mastery and spiritual intelligence method coach. Her organization uses spirit-led insight and tools like the spiritual intelligence method to help high achievers, visionaries, and purpose-driven individuals embrace their calling without getting caught in burnout or striving. And I've asked Donna on the show today because her work is so focused on really helping people find out what their calling is and embrace it, and so, I think that's something that a lot of us really struggle with as we go through and try and develop our careers. So, Donna, thank you so much for being here.

[Tashjian]

My pleasure, Wanda. I've been looking forward to it.

[Thibodeaux]

Perfect. So, you know, I gave a little bit about your background, but I want to just give you a chance to kind of highlight your expertise and how you have developed your career.

[Tashjian]

Well, we all have obstacles in our life, and we have these things that occur — or defining moments — where it begins to shape how we see ourselves. And I really like to begin with that, on how these things occur in our life that shape how we perceive what is possible in our lives. And for me, my childhood was a little turmoil, but at the age of 15, I became a mom. And it wasn't a consensual situation. So, there's a whole story around that. But imagine where you were at 15, and now I have a little girl to care for. I am supposed to be in high school, and all of the things that circle around that. And one of the things that brought me through — and when I tell the story in more detail, I say there are not adjectives to describe how hard that really was —

[Thibodeaux]

Yeah.

[Tashjian]

— but I mention it because it began to shape how I saw myself. There were words spoken about me. There was projecting of my success level in life. There was a lot of different words spoken, both to me and me speaking to me, about what I perceived was true. But at the same time, I had a relationship with God really young, and He began to tell me how He saw me, and I kept arguing that that wasn't the case.

[Thibodeaux]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tashjian]

But one of the things — the way I word it is, identity theft, because a lot of times, we talk about sharing our faith or being in our purpose. And it goes back to how we see ourselves and learning to be able to recognize that just because it was in your past, your past does not have to determine your future —

[Thibodeaux]

Right.

[Tashjian]

— unless you let it. And so, that is one of the biggest things that I began to do. And I had my first business when I was 18. I founded my first nonprofit when I was 23. But I was also having this driven feeling that I had to prove everybody wrong. And yes, that helped me, grit and get through the difficult times. But being motivated and driven is not always being led by the spirit, and there is a big difference in that whole process. So, I founded Vibrant Living to help people to live vibrantly. I have been coaching and mentoring. I'm a destiny activator. I'm a faith-based advisor. I help people step into their purpose from a place of joy and grace and ease, and that is what I do today.

[Thibodeaux]

So, thank you, Donna, for sharing that. And I do want to — any time anybody shares a story like that, I just want to really say thank you, because I know it takes a lot of courage to do that. And in full transparency, I can relate to a lot of what you're saying. My childhood was not the greatest either, so a lot of what you're saying — like being driven to prove yourself — 100% relate to that. Very much so. But when you are talking about how you established yourself so young and you were driven — but as you’re going through that, I’d like to hear a little bit more about how God kind of revealed what your purpose was. Because obviously that's a really hard situation to be in that young, and I know from my own experience that makes you grow up so fast, those kinds of situations. And I'm wondering if you can tell me about, how did God shape that with you, and just kind of teach you — yeah, I'm here, I'm still paying attention, and this is what you're meant to do. Like, how did that even happen?

[Tashjian]

Well, the only thing I really knew at the earlier ages was — and it's not really changed — it was, I was supposed to help people. But that's really broad. Like, what does that mean? There’s a lot of different ways to help people. And so, when that's the only thing, you begin to just do — most of my adult life was — there was — the way God revealed it to me is this red thread where I was always sitting with people, talking to them. It was — in church, it was discipleship. In organizations that I founded and was part of, it was — I had regular appointments with people — I'll see you next Tuesday.

[Thibodeaux]

Sure.

[Tashjian]

But it wasn't a paid opportunity. It was just something Donna did on the side while I was doing all my other things that I was involved in, which I won't give you the list, but it was long.

[Thibodeaux]

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[Tashjian]

And so, I say that because a lot of times we're doing “it” — I'm going to put that in air quotes — but we're not always recognizing what “it” is, because it's just what we do naturally. It's what comes easy, maybe, or naturally it comes. And so, I didn't really recognize it. This was all going on before I founded Vibrant Living. I was involved in organizations, and everywhere I went — I mean, if I had a nickel for every time somebody said, I've never told anyone this, you know — it's just a gift that God had given me. And I had started working at this nonprofit. I was working full time as a realtor. We had another business in property management and home renovation that I also worked full time, and then I took a part-time job because things were tight working at this nonprofit. And I thought that would be one of the ways that I would get to do all the stuff that was in my heart of really helping people. It didn't work out that way, but I had put all my hopes in that basket. That's really dangerous, but we do that.

[Thibodeaux]

Yeah, we do.

[Tashjian]

And the management changed. It became toxic. I left. I still remember it was March 31st, and it was doing a sideways, sleety rain where I live in Michigan, and it matched my face — just sobbing as I left, thinking, I'm worthless. All of those feelings were coming up again.

[Thibodeaux]

Yeah.

[Tashjian]

And what am I supposed to do? And one of the pastors in my life said, Donna, you're supposed to counsel. You're supposed to meet with people. Like, well, I don't know how to do that and make money, and I didn't have a clue —

[Thibodeaux]

Yeah.

[Tashjian]

— what that would look like. And someone said, you're a coach. And I'm thinking, athletic coach, screaming at people to run harder and play harder. And I'm like, no, that's not who I am.

[Thibodeaux]

Oh, the world has enough of that.

[Tashjian]

There's enough of that in life. That's not who Donna is. And so, it was through the process of — I don't know that I've sought God in such a deep way through that time of really — and Vibrant Living was born when I didn't feel vibrant at all. But He calls things that be not yet as though they are, because that's who you are —

[Thibodeaux]

Yeah.

[Tashjian]

— and learning to be able to step into that. I went back to school to learn coaching as a business, to enhance the skills I was naturally gifted at, and have continued to grow in that. Through that process, I became ordained, and a lot of different other things occurred. But to answer your question, it's a journey of being able to discover where you are, and the sooner you can get the right people speaking into your life — because that was part of my issues. There were so many people trying to keep Donna in a box, and I don't do well in a box.

[Thibodeaux]

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[Tashjian]

I don’t do well in a box. But learning to trust God when it wasn't going the way I thought it should, and watching Him do the outcomes through it all. So, that's a little bit about how I got to Vibrant Living.

[Thibodeaux]

Okay, well, as you're talking, one of the things that kind of hit me is that you didn't know that was really your gift. And I think that is so true for so many people. And what I've told other people is that what feels familiar — that's probably where what you are supposed to do is, because it does feel natural. You don't even realize that's the thing God has just planted in you. But like you just said, we need those other people around us to speak to us and say, that is your gift, because we can't recognize it on our own. We're too close to it. Does that make sense? And so I think —

[Tashjian]

One of the things —

[Thibodeaux]

Yeah, go ahead.

[Tashjian]

One of the things we often do is we think it's supposed to be hard.

[Thibodeaux]

Yeah.

[Tashjian]

Finding my purpose is supposed to be hard. It's supposed to be difficult. But I love this phrase — I don't know where I read it, but now it's Donna's, if that's okay — small hinges move big doors. And it doesn't have to be massive to make a big difference in the world. And learning to be able to — because it goes back to that feeling, Wanda, of being driven. I've got to prove something, I've got to matter, I've got to make a difference, I've got to — and that uptight, that's not peaceful —

[Thibodeaux]

Right.

[Tashjian]

— at all. And when we're led by the spirit, peace is part of the way that we're led. Where it feels comfortable, where it feels — it doesn't mean that we don't have obstacles.

[Thibodeaux]

Sure.

[Tashjian]

And it doesn't mean that we don't have challenges. But I'm led by peace, not by if this is hard or not, or not hitting my head against the wall kind of feeling over things. Been there, done that, had headaches. But learning that you can step into your purpose from a place of ease — but get the right people. If you need somebody, I'm one. Get the right people that can identify — one of my gifts is being able to see the root — quickly — of problems and the gold quickly in people, and helping to get to the root of issues and bring out the gold of the things that are in you that you have that can shine, and help them to shine.

[Thibodeaux]

So, if somebody is out there right now and they say, well, I know I need to find people, but I have no idea how — like, I don't know who the right people are. I'm kind of lost. I'm just kind of in my job, I'm there all day, I come home, maybe I have my family, but I don't know where my people are, because I don't know who my people are. Like, what advice could you give them?

[Tashjian]

Well, the first step would be — talk to me. You can schedule a call with me, it's complimentary. I love to talk with you, and then I can help you find your people. I call it a wisdom consultation, because we pray and we seek God to bring His wisdom into your situation and find who your people are. But it starts with a phone call. The second part of that answer to that question would be — who's speaking life into you? Who makes you feel better when you're around them? That's pretty simple — figuring out who that is. Do you feel better when you've left them, or when in their presence, or not? Because even if people have given me permission to point out and say, if you keep doing that, it's going to cause you pain —

[Thibodeaux]

Yeah.

[Tashjian]

— they still feel better after those kinds of conversations. So, learning to recognize the people who celebrate you versus tolerate you.

[Thibodeaux]

Okay. So, if we look at that — that's really, really good advice. But I'm kind of wondering, from the more practical side, we know everybody is so busy, especially now. We've got people working two, three jobs just to make ends meet. And one of the things I hear from people is, I don't have time to go out, I don't have time to be in groups. So, what would you say in terms of just exploring with people to make those connections? Is there anything you could recommend to kind of make that easier, or actually fit into a calendar?

[Tashjian]

Well, I'm pausing because there are a couple of different ways I could answer that.

[Thibodeaux]

That's fine. Take your time.

[Tashjian]

First of all, I acknowledge that life is busy. But the more that you say it's busy, the more uptight you feel, and that's one of the phrases I've eliminated from my vocabulary. What if your life was full of what you wanted in it? Because the feeling of busy is, I have no control. And I'm going to just call that out — that's a lie. Because you do have control for what's important to you. And just saying you're too busy and don't have enough time to do whatever it is — this is an excuse that's sabotaging you. Because you do. You get on social media, you watch TV, you do things that are not quote productive or helping you get to where you want to be.

[Thibodeaux]

Right. We all do.

[Tashjian]

We all do. We all do them. But so, I'm going to call that out — that's not true. You do have time for what you want and what is important to you. It's just eliminating busy and saying, I am choosing what I put in my life, who I connect with, what I do. I am in the driver's seat. And when you take that authority or power back and you quit saying I have no control, it helps to open up possibilities for you, because the other shuts down your brain. You can't even see the possibilities. So, when you say, I'm filling my life with what I choose, I'm not going to make excuses, and the right avenue will fit right in my schedule — learn to be able to do that. So, don't let your excuses sabotage your future.

[Thibodeaux]

I love it. And I know a lot of people — the reason why I asked that question is because I think a lot of people, they do get caught in that, and I think it kind of colors their perception of what success is possible for them. But while I'm on the topic of success, you had said before that God does not call us to be successful. So, I'm wondering if you could talk just a little bit about that, and what you mean by that.

[Tashjian]

Well, what we call success — I guess would be the crucial part. That driven feeling is, I'm successful when I make a certain dollar figure, or I'm successful when I get a certain title or certain something. It's all the worldly things out there.

[Thibodeaux]

All the worldly things.

[Tashjian]

And really, what God called you to do — which brings us to that faith piece that you have on your podcast, and the importance in your heart — is understanding that He called you to be His. He called you to be faithful. And the only main law or guidelines that Jesus said are to love Him with all of our heart, all of our mind, all of our emotions, all of our intentions, with all of our being — to love Him above all else. And then to love people. Just the second part of what that says. But He also said to love people like we love ourselves, which is a whole other episode.

[Thibodeaux]

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For sure.

[Tashjian]

But learning that, beginning to say, what success really is — what if success simply was that you were kind to people all day long? What if that was success? What if success was, instead of giving people what they deserve, you gave people kindness? How would that change your workplace environment? It will change you. It will change how people respond to you. If I am politely being nice to you, Wanda, but I think you've taken advantage, an advancement that I needed and you're the one in the way — no matter how nice I am to you, the undercurrent is felt.

[Thibodeaux]

Yeah.

[Tashjian]

And so, when we keep our heart pure, we forgive people. And if that is the label, the measuring stick of what success is, the rest of it will fall into place. But you, most of all, will be more at peace. Does that make sense?

[Thibodeaux]

Oh, it does. Who doesn't want more peace, right? Like, that's the goal, right? But I love the way that you're phrasing it, because I do think that a lot of the time we focus on those worldly aspirations — we frame it as we have to get somewhere rather than we can just be. And I think the saying is, we are human beings, not human doings. But people do get lost in that. And I know for me that has really been an issue, and I'm learning to slow down and just reconnect to different definitions of what success is. And that’s been really helpful. And my mission right now is to help people connect as much as they can to joy. I tell people all the time, that is your job. That is your purpose, in a way — that is everyone's purpose. And I think if people — I mean, what do you think would happen if all of us saw that as our mission in life, to give God joy? Like, that's awesome to me to think about.

[Tashjian]

You can change the world with one act of kindness at a time. I was reading the scripture — don't criticize, don't complain, and be kind. Can you imagine how social media would change? Just pause and think about that for a minute. How would social media change? How would your feed change —

[Thibodeaux]

Yeah.

[Tashjian]

— if you're not criticizing, you're not complaining, and you're bringing kindness everywhere you go? And when we think about those things — because it's not our responsibility to judge and correct everybody. It's not our responsibility to correct all the world's wrongs. I'm responsible for me and how I'm responding to that. You know, I have people message me all the time — I can show you how to make six or seven figures — and they don't know me. This is cold messaging, which we've all received. And I'll reply, well, how do you know I haven’t? Or, how do you know that that's important to me?

[Thibodeaux]

Yeah.

[Tashjian]

Either one of those. And you know, there's crickets at that point. They don't know quite how to respond and handle that. But a lot of people don't know how to handle Donna, but that's okay.

[Thibodeaux]

That’s fine.

[Tashjian]

But it's like — what is — and yours is joy. My heart that came out of my mouth was kindness. So, what is important to you? At the end of your life, what do you want people to say about you? We get all caught up in our dress size, our house, the car we drive. At the end of your life, none of that is what they say about in your eulogy. Well, she was a size such-and-such, or she drove this car. That's not what they talk about. So, at the end of your life, what do you want people to say about you? What words do you want them to use to describe who you were? And then be that today. Be that now in places where you’re — somebody's trying to put you in a box. Be that today when people are misunderstanding you, and you are surrounded by people who are tolerating you. Be that where you are, and watch circumstances change.

[Thibodeaux]

I love that you are essentially giving people permission to just step into it, because I think, honestly, some people just need to hear that permission. They've never heard it — nobody has ever told them that they can do that, that it is okay. So, I love that you're doing that. But obviously with your experience, you have experienced seeing people struggle to make that transition. So, what would you say the biggest struggles are in them actually reaching out for that, what you're describing?

[Tashjian]

Reaching out for what?

[Thibodeaux]

For — you know — to be who they really are. To be it today. What stops them from doing that? What do they struggle with that keeps them kind of stuck in that box?

[Tashjian]

Looking at the circumstances and being reactive —

[Thibodeaux]

Okay.

[Tashjian]

— instead of being proactive. If you were mean to me, and I keep going over that conversation in my head and how you were wrong and how that shouldn't have happened — we've all done that. Let’s just be real. We've all done it a lot of times. I wished I'd have said this, and then they would have said that, and then I would have won, and all of the things. We’ve all done that. And we do those kinds of things about circumstances in our life. Why does this happen to me, and all of this kind of stuff, and all of that is reactive to circumstances. So, it's working with people like me who can help you write, if you will, a vision statement, of how to write a vision statement, because that isn't something they teach us in school — how to create the life you want. All you're doing is learning a bunch of stuff to respond and react to situations. That's what spiritual intelligence is. It's learning to live from your spirit, from the unseen, and then change our circumstances, to change our world, because it starts on the inside. One of the other quotes I now say all the time is — how high you fly isn't based on your environment with an e, it's based on your environment with an i, on the inside. And so, when you think about excelling in success, it has little to do with your environment in terms of what is around you. It has more to do with what's going on on the inside. And when that can get in alignment with who God says you are and what your gifts are — the sky's the limit.

[Thibodeaux]

Yeah. Well, I can tell you from my own experience — I can absolutely relate to that. Like we had kind of hinted at before, we all have those moments where we get the narrative in our head. Especially if we've gone through something like you've gone through or I've gone through, that script plays so much. And I think we get so used to hearing that script that we don't know how to challenge it sometimes, and that really influences our perception of God. It influences our perception of what we can do. And I think for a lot of people, maybe that's the biggest hang-up. I don't know if you would agree with that.

[Tashjian]

Yes, absolutely.

[Thibodeaux]

Okay. So, when we're talking about leaving those hang-ups, is there anything that you have found particularly useful personally that has gotten you out of the mire, as they say?

[Tashjian]

One of the first things that I always ask people is, is how do you see God? I created this little quiz. You see God as a vending machine — I pressed A, B, I put in my money, and I should get a candy bar.

[Thibodeaux]

Yes.

[Tashjian]

I didn't get a candy bar, but I should have gotten a candy bar.

[Thibodeaux]

Yep.

[Tashjian]

Or sometimes we treat Him like a Greek god. We bring our offerings, we bring our kindness, we bring stuff to Him, and now we're not quite sure what kind of mood He's going to be in and what’s gonna exactly happen. How do we see God? And there’s other ones. But that gives you an example. And a lot of times, it’s my relationship with God. And then the other piece of that is — how much am I in the Word? Because the Word of God is what changes us. And I can't bring my faith to my workplace if I say I don't have time to have it in my personal life. And so, I have this thing that I've created to help people called a 15-minute miracle for the first thing in the morning is how to do that, how to bring God's presence into your beginning of the day to set the course of your day.

[Thibodeaux]

Okay.

[Tashjian]

Because as much as you are in those two things — your relationship with God and in the Word — will determine whether you really step into your purpose, find out what success means to you, and bring kindness and joy — if we’re talking about those two things — to the world in your own flavor and your own unique way. Those are two big things. Because a lot of times we read self-help books, we listen to podcasts, we listen to all kinds of things, but we don't get into the thing that will really change everything — and that is the Word of God.

[Thibodeaux]

Okay, yeah, I would agree. For a long time I had tried to start my day reading Scripture, and I think everybody's a little different in terms of what works for them. If you need to start your day reading, that's fine. If you want to listen, that's fine. But something to — like you said — get yourself in the right mindset. Because I know so many times I've gotten up in the morning, grabbed my unicorn coffee cup, I'm bleary eyed and barely out of bed. And you can either go into the Word like you said and focus there, or you can start thinking about all the million things you have left to do. And I can tell you which one feels heavier.

[Tashjian]

Yep.

[Thibodeaux]

For sure.

[Tashjian]

And a lot of times — I absolutely love the YouVersion Bible app. I promote it everywhere, because it has simple plans to help you facilitate. And you know, it's like, where do I even start? There's that feeling. And when I was younger, that wasn't an option. It was open the Bible and try to figure out where to start.

[Thibodeaux]

Yeah

[Tashjian]

But there — it is, so much easier today, and I love it. If you get behind, you can say, catch me up. And I'm a checkmark girl, so I like that part. But if you haven't checked that out, that would be one thing. And it's absolutely free. There’s no cost to it. But getting into His Word, even one Bible verse that you think about throughout the day, will transform your life.

[Thibodeaux]

So, tell me a little bit more about that. How does that really help us to change that perception who are we as a child of God? Especially if we haven't had people to sit with us in the Word and explain what things mean — how do we even approach that to interpret it well, and even get a consistent habit with it?

[Tashjian]

Yeah, well, that's one of the reasons why I mentioned the different devotionals that are in there, because they allow you to do a lot of the teaching and help you to expound on different areas. You can start on a subject, whatever is important to you and just read about it, and get His perspective on it. The reason why it works is — the Word of God is sharper than any two-edged sword, and it goes to the dividing of the soul and spirit, and it reveals the intentions of our heart. And so, it begins to change us from the inside out. How does it do it? I don't know. It's the Word of God.

[Thibodeaux]

Yeah. Yeah. It’s a mystery.

[Tashjian]

And it works. And you know, all of those things you mentioned are realistic emotions, but they're also excuses.

[Thibodeaux]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tashjian]

I've never had anybody — I don't know how. I just told you how to begin. And a conversation with me is another way, because I can help you get other support wherever you live. This is an international ministry, so there are places to find support. So, don't allow the excuses anymore. If you know that this is going to make a difference in your life and you say you're not a morning person, then do it in the evening.

[Thibodeaux]

Sure.

[Tashjian]

But just do it. Quit saying I don't have time. Because if you do want your life to be better and different and peaceful and prosperous and all those things, it requires a relationship with God and His Word.

[Thibodeaux]

Yeah. That is perfect advice, especially for me, personally, because I will tell you from my own experience — I know I'm a very emotional person, and for me that has been a big hang-up on a lot of things. Because the emotion gets so big that that kind of becomes a wall to the next step, and then we hit that every single time. And I know other people have told me it's kind of similar with them. We get into the emotion and we're not sure how to get past that. And I guess I would just say to anybody listening — like you're saying —

[Tashjian]

I can tell you how.

[Thibodeaux]

Go for it! Go, go, go!

[Tashjian]

I can tell you how.

[Thibodeaux]

Yeah.

[Tashjian]

First of all, recognizing what emotions are and what they're not. They are not your teacher, and most of the time they're not even truth. I'll let that settle. They are real, and we are experiencing them, but there's a difference between facts and truth.

[Thibodeaux]

Oh gosh, yes.

[Tashjian]

Okay. So, emotions — what they actually are — are indicators. So, I want you to imagine the dashboard on your car, and you have an indicator light come on that it's time for an oil change, or something needs attention. That light is indicating something that's going on in the car. You with me? Okay. So, emotions are indicators of what, at that moment, what you're actually believing. So, somebody takes my parking place. Let's use something really trivial. Somebody takes my parking place, and my response is, why does this always happen to me? The emotion showed what I was believing — bad stuff happens to me, I don't get anything good, what's wrong with me. That's really the core of what that statement was. Or — well, I wanted that parking place, God, but you must have something better for me. That's also showing a belief. Any given time, our emotions are indicating what we are believing about ourselves and about the world at any given moment. The feeling that I don't have enough time is — at the root, most of the time — just generalizing, I'm failing, I'm not doing everything I could, I'm behind, and I'm overwhelmed. Would you agree?

[Thibodeaux]

Yeah.

[Tashjian]

Yeah. And so, when you realize that emotions are indicators, stop and say, what am I actually believing at this moment? Is it even true? It may feel true, but is it actually true that I'm a failure and I never do anything right? Well, no, it's not.

[Thibodeaux]

Yeah.

[Tashjian]

But when you recognize and put emotions in their place — they're not leading me anymore, they're information, but it’s not where I’m led. Especially women, because we have a lot of them. We've got a lot of emotions. And it could be that there is a hormonal issue at this moment — everything really is fine, I'm just crying.

[Thibodeaux]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tashjian]

I mean it. That's a legitimate thing too.

[Thibodeaux]

I’ve never been there, Donna.

[Tashjian]

It's just real. No matter where you are, a woman has something hormonally going on that's chemicals that are affecting how we feel. And that's not making an excuse, but it's recognizing it. So, there was a certain period of the month that I would say make my schedule light —

[Thibodeaux]

Yep.

[Tashjian]

— because I knew where I was emotionally to handle the caliber of leadership I am in, I need to make that schedule light for me for that week, and I recognized it as part of my leadership skills. So, it's not that I'm making excuses. It’s like, I want to be the best me I can be, and if I overstress myself this week, it’s gonna be not good.

[Thibodeaux]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tashjian]

And so, it’s not making excuses for the emotions. It's not even minimizing them. It's fully feeling them. I'm mad.

[Thibodeaux]

Yes. Yes.

[Tashjian]

I'm not minimizing it. I'm mad. This wasn't right. This wasn't just. But I'm going to choose to believe that God is going to work all things together for my good. I dealt with the emotions, I didn't ignore them, I felt them, but I'm choosing to believe this. And as soon as I said that, you could feel the atmosphere shift.

[Thibodeaux]

Yeah.

[Tashjian]

God's going to work it out for my good. I don't know how, but I forgive, I release it, I let it go, and I'm going to trust Him. And I felt the emotions, I felt that, I felt the stuff —

[Thibodeaux]

Yeah.

[Tashjian]

— but I'm choosing this. And if you look at David, he did this all throughout the Psalms.

[Thibodeaux]

Sure did.

[Tashjian]

This is horrible. This is awful. God, where are you? Why aren't you helping me? But you've never failed me.

[Thibodeaux]

Yeah.

[Tashjian]

All in the same psalm over and over. He's a perfect example, and he's the man after God's own heart. So, putting emotions in their proper place, processing them, recognizing them as, I'm doubting God — do I want to stay there? No. I'm going to choose to believe God this way. Do you see how that paints a different picture? Can it feel different when you think about your emotions?

[Thibodeaux]

What I'm really hearing you say — and you can correct me if I'm a little off here — is that it comes down to the awareness piece. Connecting to that emotion and just realizing, I'm feeling this, I'm going to allow it. What does it tell me? That is a self-awareness skill in my mind. And that to me is a place where I think a lot of people maybe have that gap, because if you don't have that self-awareness, guess what you can’t do. Make a choice.

[Tashjian]

Right.

[Thibodeaux]

The minute that you are self-aware, you can make the choice of what you want to do, which very much affects your planning and how you move forward.

[Tashjian]

And having time for awareness requires some quiet, and most of us don't make time for that.

[Thibodeaux]

Yeah.

[Tashjian]

But it doesn't have to be a lot. If I find myself reacting to a situation because I'm really mad, I can just take two seconds, get alone, go to the bathroom, close my eyes, and going — what am I believing? I'm believing they took that away from me and it wasn't fair. Okay, it wasn't fair, but God's the one fighting for me, so I don't have to. No. I'm going to let that go. I mean, it doesn't take forever, but it does take an awareness of taking the moment, because that's part of the problem with our emotions going, because we are running nonstop without any real quiet. And scrolling through social media is not the answer.

[Thibodeaux]

Yeah. I actually love the fact that you gave the bathroom example, because everybody can do that when things get hot. Everybody would say, I need to use the restroom, and you go and recheck in with yourself. Like, it doesn’t matter. Anybody can do that.

[Tashjian]

Everybody has to do that every day, several times a day.

[Thibodeaux]

Yep.

[Tashjian]

So, do it. And think about yourself as the one who's going to bring the joy back into the room —

[Thibodeaux]

Yes, yes.

[Tashjian]

— instead of being the one who has the tension and so angry that they did this or that happened or whatever. It’s like — okay. And I come back into the room, and as soon as I enter, I’m bringing joy with me. I’m bringing hope, I’m bringing your presence, God, into it. Because this whole thing is about bringing God into the workplace. And we think we need to be like the minister preaching. But if they were mean and I react back in peace and joy, I have brought God into the workplace without saying anything that HR is going to get upset about.

[Thibodeaux]

Yeah.

[Tashjian]

A lot of times we work on what we're speaking instead of who we're being.

[Thibodeaux]

Yes. Yes.

[Tashjian]

And so, you can bring faith on the clock inside the workplace by who you're choosing to be, by being in the Word, by looking for opportunity to share wisdom. And I don't know any HR that I’m aware of that would mind if I see you're having a hard day, and Wanda, would it be okay if I pray for you? Would you mind if I pray for you right now? And if you say no, that's great, I'll just pray for you on my own.

[Thibodeaux]

Yeah, there you go.

[Tashjian]

You know, you can decline it. But I mean, I've been in conversations — I'm caught with all kinds of faiths. I've never had a Muslim tell me not to pray for them. And I just pray for them in the name of Jesus and keep going, and they don't decline it. So, there are so many ways — we get so caught up in sometimes what we're saying and being able to share the gospel, if you will, boldly. And there might be a place for that, but it's more important who you're being while you're on the clock. And then we could talk about how you're being at home, as well.

[Thibodeaux]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tashjian]

And it's much more important than the other way around. And everyone can bring the joy with a bathroom break.

[Thibodeaux]

Yeah. I think a lot of times, too, people don't give enough weight to how their joy can influence other people.

[Tashjian]

Correct.

[Thibodeaux]

So, when you do come back into that room — we don't necessarily think of the fact that if I portray this joy, if I help essentially help them co-regulate — if I do that, what is that going to do for them to be able to step into their purpose? And I guess what I'm getting at is, this has an exponential effect if we do it. So, I wonder if you can speak to that just a little bit.

[Tashjian]

Well — are you going to be a thermostat or a thermometer? That's it in itself. Are you gonna be a thermostat where you’re reacting to everything going on around you, going up and down in temperature by what is happening in the environment. Or are you going to be a thermostat? And you don't have to say anything. It's the thoughts you're thinking, you carry it — you can feel my heart just by being here with me. We don't have to say a lot to do that. And so that reset — hitting the reset button and learning to be able to bring that where you are. But if I come back slamming my drawers, hitting my counter or desk and all that kind of stuff, I don't have to say anything. You know I'm upset with you.

[Thibodeaux]

Yeah.

[Tashjian]

But if I come back and say, I'm going to get a coffee — can I get you one? It doesn't take a lot. And you're like, wow, what happened to her? She left mad and she came back happy.

[Thibodeaux]

Must have been pretty good coffee, right?

[Tashjian]

And somebody might ask you, like, what happened? You were really mad at me when you left. Those are opportunities to share your new skills. I guess the main thing I want people to take away is that you're more important than you realize, and who you're being is more important than what you're doing, or what your job title is, or what you're allowed to do — no matter what walk of life you had. One of the spiritual leaders who speaks into my life said, how do I know what I'm supposed to be? Am I supposed to be a teacher? Am I supposed to be a doctor? Am I supposed to be this or that? And he's like, just love people. Show up and be kind and love people, and if you have the opportunity, tell them about Jesus. That's all. It doesn't matter whether you're a doctor, whether you're the janitor, whether you're the accountant. It doesn’t matter. In the scheme of things, that's not the thing. Even though you may have giftings to do that. And if you’re gifting as an accountant, you shouldn’t be doing something else, perhaps, or if you’re not gifted at numbers, don’t be an accountant. There are some natural giftings and that. But you see my point. It’s like, we get caught up in the job title, or what responsibilities we have, when it's more important who we're being. And the other thing I want people to walk away with from today is — stop letting excuses rule your future. Because you are in control, you get to choose. God said, I set before you life or death. And just saying I don't have time is death. It is not bringing life into your world. So, set every choice as a life or death choice of what's going to propel you into all that God has for you.

[Thibodeaux]

I love that you are closing this way, Donna, because I know a lot of people don't have the choice of what job they get into. Maybe they have to be the janitor instead of the CEO, or whatever — you pay the bills, right. But the idea that you can be who God made you to be, anywhere — it doesn't matter what the title is. There is something in yourself that you can bring as a light to that job. And I think when we think of the idea of job crafting, we think of all the technical things that we can adjust, but maybe crafting means just being more you. Like, how can I make that happen? Does that make sense?

[Tashjian]

Right.

[Thibodeaux]

Yeah.

[Tashjian]

Absolutely. And you know, if you're called to something different than a janitor, you'll get there. But you'll get there quicker by doing it the way we're talking about today, because these kind of people get advanced if that's something that God has for them. And it says — don't despise small beginnings.

[Thibodeaux]

Yes.

[Tashjian]

And so, sometimes, it's not by might nor by power, but by His spirit. I started by cleaning houses — that was the first thing I did.

[Thibodeaux]

Yeah.

[Tashjian]

And it isn't my sweet spot. But I do what I have to do at the time, until I could get to my sweet spot. And so, I encourage you, wherever you find yourself — do it with all your might. Think about Joseph, all of the things that he did, and he kept a good attitude about it. To me, it's amazing.

[Thibodeaux]

Yeah.

[Tashjian]

And because it's so easy to get a bad attitude. But when we know that God is on our side, and we quit putting the time element of expectation on when this should have happened — that's a whole other episode too.

[Thibodeaux]

I know exactly what you mean, though. Yes. Yes, I know.

[Tashjian]

But anyway — just allow every day to be who you're choosing to be, and then watch the miracles occur.

[Thibodeaux]

Well, if somebody is ready to start that journey, Donna, and they want to learn more about you, get more connected with how to do that and get that support, where can they learn more about you and get started on that?

[Tashjian]

The easiest place is my website, and it is ivibrantliving.com. That's the easiest place. It has all my social media links on there, my podcast, my YouTube channel, my school community — all the different ways to connect. But if you start there, that's the easiest place to move forward from there.

[Thibodeaux]

Perfect.

[Tashjian]

And you can schedule a call with me there.

[Thibodeaux]

Yes, I highly recommend that people do. So, listeners, if you are out there and that interests you, please go ahead and check that out. But as we're wrapping up, Donna, do you mind if I pray for you?

[Tashjian]

No, that'd be my pleasure for you to do that.

[Thibodeaux]

Alright.

God, I know that Donna is helping people to see who You made them to be, and I think that is critical, because if we have no concept of that, then we don't know where we are supposed to enter into the world on Your behalf. We don't know how to apply what You have given us. So, God, I ask blessings on her and her ministry. Continue to help her use her skills to reveal to people who they are, so that then they can go out into the world and do the good that You need them to do. In Jesus' name, I pray. Amen.

[Tashjian]

Amen.

[Thibodeaux]

Alright. Well, Donna, thank you so much for this time. I have absolutely enjoyed your insights. I know people will get a lot of value out of it. Thank you so much.

[Tashjian]

You're welcome.

[Thibodeaux]

Listeners, in full transparency, this embracing your calling stuff, I am still working on it, and I know firsthand what a mountain it can feel like. But I’m learning that the more I accept my design, quite frankly, the better I feel. So, if I can give you one closing thought, it’s that joy doesn’t come in denial. God knows exactly who you are, and He’ll be with you on the entire journey. For the next episode, we’re going to face the grief of moving on to good things — how do you biblically deal with that retirement, missing coworkers at your old job, or even energizing individual projects? That’s two weeks from now, everybody. Be blessed.