Blabbering: Babies!

Welcome to Episode 24 - Tilly's first week back at work and Dan's first week as main parent - how does it all go?

🎙️ Episode Drop Alert: "Work, Weaning & Parenting Woes" 🍼🍴💼 Episode 24 takes listeners through a whirlwind week of transitions, toddler tantrums, and tasty treats. Here's a peek:

1️⃣ First Week Back: Tilly returns to work, bringing a new rhythm to the household, and easing into the routine with a four-day workweek thanks to a bank holiday. 💻🕓

2️⃣ Solo Parenting: Dan steps up as the main caregiver, navigating the challenges of balancing parenting duties, spring cleaning, and resisting Pokémon temptations. 🎮🧹

3️⃣ Weaning Woes & Feeding Fiascos: Dive into the delightful disarray as baby girl navigates her new world of solids, from broccoli battles to carrot chaos, and how the transition from milk to meals introduces a whole new set of snacking politics for the family. 🥦🍠🍎🍌

4️⃣ Cleaning Conundrums: Join Dan and Tilly as they debate housekeeping tactics, including laundry laziness, cereal packet pile-ups, and dishes drama. 🧼🧺

5️⃣ Sleep Solutions: The duo attempts to establish a new sleep routine for their little one, with bedtime battles and couch cuddle confessions. 😴🛋️

🎧 Tune in for a journey through parenting realities, complete with comedy, chaos, and culinary delights. #ParentingJourney #WeaningWoes #PodcastLife 🎙️🍼🍽️

Email us: BlabberingPod@gmail.com

Instagram:@BlabberingPod

Loved this episode? Or you have a great idea to make our show better? We're all ears for your ratings and messages. 🌟🎉

So, this week we talk about me returning to work.

2

So, that's both the most scary,

exciting, guilt ridden, who

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knows, listen to find out.

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And we're going to see, is Dan

going to keep up with the cleaning?

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Who knows.

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Welcome to Blabbering, a week by

week glimpse into a couple stumbling

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through life with a newborn.

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I'm Tilly.

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And I'm Dan.

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Each week over dinner, you'll

learn Tilly is quite the feeder.

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We'll discuss the realities of

raising our baby, talking through the

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highs, lows and honest confessions

of this thing called parenting.

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Parenting won't be easy, but

let's at least laugh about it.

14

This is Blabbering.

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Ha ha ha ha ha.

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Dan 1: Alright, so episode 24,

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Tilly: Yes,

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Dan 1: first leak as sole

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Tilly: my first week back at work.

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Yeah, I haven't been here the whole week.

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Dan 1: it was, I don't know, 4.

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Tilly: Yeah, my first week back at work.

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I guess what was quite nice is

that because of bank holiday,

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it was only a four day week.

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Dan 1: Yeah,

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Tilly: It's quite nice

easing yourself into it.

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Dan 1: yeah, it was quite a good way

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Tilly: I mean, ideally you'd sort

of really gradually do it like a

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day, two days, three days, four

days, five days, but you know.

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We could have manufactured

that with Holliday,

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Dan 1: I mean we did have

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Tilly: but

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Dan 1: designs of doing almost like

a practice day on my holiday, but

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then I was cleaning a bit longer.

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Spring clean.

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Tilly: Yeah, I think you did quite well.

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You did a bit of faffiness.

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On like your phone and stuff.

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Dan 1: I really wasn't on my phone at all.

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Tilly: But, you were very good.

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Dan 1: I was on my phone LITTLE.

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I mean, if I was to compare bone

time between weeks, I was on

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my phone SO LITTLE last week.

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it does help, guys, that Pokemon

absolutely destroyed the app by releasing

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a whole load of new cards that invalidate

the previous set of cards, so all my

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decks were made with the previous set of

cards that have now been made ILLEGAL.

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And I can't be bothered to

go back and change all my

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Tilly: And I'm really sad about

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it.

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Dan 1: just faking being sad.

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Because can't be a Pokemon

genius like in, I think it was

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episode 5, Flabby Wabby Pond.

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That was the old Pokemon name.

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Tilly: I think it'll be a great one.

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I can create you a new one if you want.

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I'll create you a new pokemon.

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I

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can.

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Dan 1: how it works.

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You don't just choose to create your

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Tilly: I can.

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Why not?

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Who says?

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Who says?

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I'll make

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you little cards and when you and

Chris play I'll draw you little cards.

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Dan 1: Pokemon, but that's

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Tilly: It's basically top trumps.

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Dan 1: app works.

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Tilly: It's just jacked

up top trumps isn't it?

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Let's be honest.

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It is.

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It is.

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It is.

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It's jacked up top trumps.

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I can draw you little pokemon top

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trumps cards.

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Dan 1: there's damage and attack points.

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Trumps is just one versus one, winner

takes all, fine, whatever, move on.

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This isn't what people want to

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Tilly: Maybe there is.

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Maybe we've got some real avid Pokemon

lovers who watch this just for the

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occasional little tidbit of Pokemon.

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Dan 1: doubt it, given that

it's only come up twice.

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Tilly: We could have a little

weekly bit of Pokemon if you want.

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Dan 1: And so, this week we

don't have any food because

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we've already eaten breakfast.

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Been on dog walk,

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Tilly: Yeah.

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Dan 1: We're probably not going to do

it with food that much anymore really.

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Oh

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Tilly: Because now where we are Yeah.

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Dan 1: top.

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We don't really do it at the

dinner table like we used to.

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Tilly: Now Baby Girl's weaning

when we tend to have food.

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And obviously it's not

very conducive to us.

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So that's the big thing this

week, we've started weaning.

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So on Easter Sunday we went to my

mum's for a nice roast, an Easter

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egg hunt with a couple of my sisters,

and their daughters, and my mum,

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Pops, and Yeah, Bubba had her first

food, which was carrots and broccoli.

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We're going down the route of sort of

baby led weaning, where it's in large

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pieces that she can feed herself, purees.

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Nothing against purees, I just feel

like personally, I wouldn't want to

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eat pureed broccoli or carrots, it

doesn't sound particularly appealing,

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so why would baby like that?

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Dan 1: Or as we found out yesterday, she

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Tilly: Well, yeah, I mean like,

you know, but the first sort of

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Dan 1: like, you can't

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Tilly: bit, like really up to a year,

of course, they will start eating more

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and more over that period, but actually,

It's, it's not necessary, so much they

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still get all the food nutrients they need

from milk, other than like a bit of iron.

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Which kind of takes the pressure off,

which means you can be very relaxed about

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it, they can just learn how to eat and

enjoy it, and make it really enjoyable

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for it to not put the pressure on.

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Which I think could only be a good thing.

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Yeah.

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Dan 1: a lot.

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So she was just it about,

rubbing her face with it,

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Tilly: Yeah, she likes

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it.

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Dan 1: She wouldn't eat it.

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She wouldn't,

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Tilly: She ate a little bit,

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Dan 1: not the brush side.

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She only ate, like, the stem

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Tilly: but No, she ate the brush

side of like regular broccoli.

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Dan 1: It wasn't as cooked as

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Tilly: There we go.

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Dan 1: regular broccoli.

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I think it's a very different

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Tilly: No.

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Dan 1: it's back, uh.

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It's very different, isn't it?

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But she absolutely attacked

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Tilly: Yeah, so we'll just keep trying.

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I think today we're gonna

might go for sweet potato.

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Dan 1: green beans and needed

them, I think, for the second,

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that's her second meaning.

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Oh,

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Tilly: Yeah, they're quite good.

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They're quite

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easy handheld stuff, isn't it?

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So we're doing lots of batons of things

like sticks, carrot and stuff and avocado.

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She was a nat keenan.

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Dan 1: Right.

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Yeah.

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Tilly: weird texture.

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Tomatoes she liked but she couldn't quite

grasp doing them herself so we told her

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to hold them and then she would eat them.

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Dan 1: clean up

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Tilly: so far it's going well, like I

said, we're not putting the pressure on.

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She still has a little taste of our

fruit as well, like if I'm having

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an apple I'll bite a chunk off and

she'll sort of suck on a bit and

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same as like a bit of banana whatever

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won't she.

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Yeah But we're trying to keep it

predominantly vegetables for now Because

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obviously she already likes sweet stuff

because breast milk is sweet And we want

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to make sure she gets a good palate I

mean it is, you don't want her to have

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sweet teeth particularly Do you want

her to have like a well rounded palate?

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Because she already likes sweet so We

need to get her to taste like things

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like bitter and sour and Well she

won't have any marmalade for a while

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because she's not really allowed salt

So that's going to have to come later

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But people tend to like Salty stuff.

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But no, it's been quite

fun, isn't it, this week?

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Fatty's enjoying it, because he gets

lots of like, scraps afterwards.

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Yeah, our trick is making sure

he waits until she's finished.

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Yeah.

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So, you know, it's training for everyone.

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Dan 1: been doing that for

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Tilly: but no, it's been enjoying that.

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But the big thing has been the

sort of changeover of working

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to parenting, hasn't it, really?

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You know, since Tuesday I've been back

in work, and You've been main caregiver.

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Dan 1: and attempted

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Tilly: main house, it seems like

I don't think you've been bad.

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The thing is,

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Dan 1: haven't done that great of a job.

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Yeah,

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Tilly: That will very quickly

disappear if you don't keep up with it.

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Yeah, it's really hard to do stuff.

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You just do it

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Dan 1: Like, even just doing stuff like

the dishwasher and stuff like that.

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Yeah.

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Yeah, I know,

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Tilly: in stages.

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Do you know what I mean?

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Dan 1: be able

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Tilly: Yeah.

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You just do little bits at a time.

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Like, you have to let go of being

able to do long stretches of things.

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Dan 1: do is be like, ah, nice.

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Tilly: Mm, mm, mm.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Wow.

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Dan 1: Relax, chill out, get on my phone.

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And it's like, no, the dishwasher needs to

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Tilly: Exactly.

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Dan 1: No, I'm pretty poor at cleaning.

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I hate

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Tilly: But that's fine, it's

your first week off, so like,

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Dan 1: shirt wasn't worn by me,

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Tilly: you know,

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Dan 1: worn by

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Tilly: just generally you're

not very good at cleaning.

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My, my, my beef with Dan is that

he just doesn't put things away

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or clean them up as he goes along.

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Like say he like takes off a t shirt

and just gets left on the side, and not

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to be picked up later, but it'll just

be left on the side until I pick it up.

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Yeah, that t shirt was on the wall.

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No, I know.

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And I didn't mean to pick it

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up.

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Dan 1: I did mean to take

it off, and I'm sorry, that

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wasn't meant to go in the wash.

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I put it there because I meant

to throw it up the stairs.

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Tilly: Equally packets will be left, so

he'll be like, I'm done with that cereal

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packet so I'll just leave it on the side.

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I won't put it in the recycling,

I'll just leave it on the side.

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Dan 1: on the floor.

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Tilly: I know it's cause you don't

see it, but it is frustrating.

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Dan 1: I can imagine, yeah.

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Tilly: I hope was it a while ago

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we watched You should do what

the police do, Oh, he's aware.

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You put your own picture of Philly aware.

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I'm

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like,

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Dan 1: aware.

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Just get your own stickers that

say Tilly Aware, and I'll be like,

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Tilly: oh, that is great, yeah,

there's a picture of Philly Yeah,

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Dan 1: Tilly Aware, and I'll

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Tilly: I'll do it if that's

gonna work, I'll do it.

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even more passive version of Facebook.

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I'll get I'll get

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Dan 1: post it notes.

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Tilly: aggressive, I'll bypass passive.

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Dan 1: passive.

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Tilly: And my favorite thing is when

I put things on the stairs to go up

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and you just go, Can you just, it's

really in the way on the stairs.

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I'm like, that's so you

take it up with you.

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No, I know, but

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love, you go up the stairs you never

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take stuff up.

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I do.

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If I've not got Bubby

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You take stuff up at age,

even when you're doing

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things.

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I do

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take stuff up.

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You can't change every time.

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If I've not got Bubby, I take stuff up.

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You can't ever.

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Dan 1: you can't claim that that's

my fault, because like, it's for

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both of us to potentially take it up.

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And stuff will be

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Tilly: Because most of the

time, I've had Bubby nearly

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every time I go up the stairs.

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I don't tend to go upstairs

around her much during the day.

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I'm downstairs, and I'm gonna go

up, and she's coming with me to bed.

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Dan 1: Before.

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Even before

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Tilly: No.

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Dan 1: Fine.

264

Okay.

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I

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Tilly: My thing with

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Dan will You don't visibly

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sue.

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Dan 1: seen evidence,

however, been upstairs times.

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Tilly: This is our classic thing.

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Unless I'm perfect, Dan sees, and it's

because he doesn't have to do anything.

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But it's I think that

is my biggest Pet peeve.

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Pisses me off.

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Like, I will clean everything, like I'll

keep it clean, but as soon as I leave

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one thing, Dan's like, it's free reign,

I can just do whatever the fuck I want.

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Dan 1: nothing.

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Alright, I

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Tilly: So I have to be perfect

for you to be absolutely basic.

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Yeah,

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Dan 1: but I

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Tilly: but you've got to take that.

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No,

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it's not.

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It's not, it's not extreme.

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Dan 1: main point there.

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Tilly: hadn't raised you right,

you ain't doing the cleaning.

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Dan 1: good at keeping the house

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Tilly: You can see I'm

getting frustrated, this is.

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Dan 1: Is that

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Tilly: Otherwise you're a very good

husband, but that stuff annoys me.

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No, no you're not.

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Is that what you, that's what it was?

293

like I say,

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Monday the 24th, Sunday

the Tuesday you were here.

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Yes, she

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was in the office, she was in the office.

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Um, Wednesday, yeah,

you were in the office.

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She was actually in the

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office.

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Yeah, and so now I'm like

a member of the programs.

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Dan 1: because you, like she was basically

on you sleeping most of the time.

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yeah, you're in the office.

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She was actually really good Wednesday.

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We went out for quite a lot of the day.

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I tend to just do an awful lot

of walking when I've got out.

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Yeah, it's now like minimum 15, 000, often

20 plus just because, like, yesterday

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I just decide to walk into town to

get, you know, so now I'm a member of

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the Reading Borough Council Libraries.

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But instead of going to my library

that's 10 15 minutes away, I

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decided to walk all the way into

Central Reading Library to sign up.

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So that was like a two and a

half hour round trip I think.

312

It was

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Tilly: Has he

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got computers, like really shitty

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old computers.

316

What's

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that, Yeah.

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Dan 1: and get her to get her really

tired, and then she won't get tired,

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so I'll be like, Oh, I'll keep walking.

320

The next day I know I've like walked

for two and a half hours and she's

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ended up sleeping really Uncomfortable,

like half, half an hour of that.

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Get back, and then she wakes

up, and I'm like, Fuck!

323

I wasted the sleep time, because

I keep trying to get it right.

324

So I stimulate her on the walk, come

back, she's exhausted and she falls

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asleep, that's the aim of the game.

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And that way you, because, I don't

want, I don't want her to be sleeping

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when I'm somewhere that I don't

want to be, if that makes sense.

328

The aim is for her to be sleeping

somewhere you want to be, and that

329

way you don't really have to care

about her as much, you don't have

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to give her as much like, sleeps.

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And so it's always trying to

get that balance right, how long

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maximum time that I can have her

out front facing to stimulate her.

333

But it turns out I've

also ruined her routine.

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so I need to build in

a new routine for her.

335

So I've got to work out what

I think that's going to be.

336

I'm thinking we do the

morning walk and everything.

337

She has her sleep, because that's

kind of quite normal currently.

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then try and keep her awake to about,

sort of, I don't know if after or

339

before lunch, and then go for a walk

to tire her out, and then she can have

340

a siesta, because I don't want her

to have such nap in the afternoon.

341

I think we should try and remove

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Tilly: I'll see you in a minute.

343

Dan 1: that as much as

possible so she's as tired as

344

possible before bed, because if

345

Tilly: Yeah.

346

Dan 1: she's having like an

hour long nap at four and then

347

going to bed at like seven,

348

Tilly: Maybe just, yeah, maybe if

we force her having, like, one early

349

doors, like, like you said after

the walk or whatever, and then one

350

around, like, early afternoon, midday.

351

So yeah, that way she'd have a

longer period of time before.

352

So, Steve.

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We're still learning.

354

We're constantly learning.

355

We're

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Dan 1: that's the thing now, gotta,

gotta play the sleep game, but still

357

learning about it, still learning,

when's the time, but, we've also tried

358

to be sorting out her sleep routine, we

359

Tilly: of her sleeping by herself.

360

Dan 1: started quite well at the week,

the last two nights well, Friday and

361

Tilly: Yeah, so the idea is

that up until now we've sort

362

of all gone to bed together.

363

We've had like a sleep in.

364

Dan 1: we go up to bed at somewhere

between 8 and 9 and come down

365

from bed somewhere between 6 and

366

Tilly: Yeah.

367

Dan 1: that way we have roughly 10 hours

know that she's going to disturb our sleep

368

and so we kind of get 8 hours of broken

sleep Well, fine, seven hours, whatever,

369

but you get a lot longer than you

370

Tilly: Yeah,

371

Dan 1: But now, we're trying to have her

go to bed at seven, and us go up a bit

372

later, and so she kind of falls asleep

on her own, and that way we can start

373

actually getting some of our own time

back, not always with baby girl on us.

374

Tilly: so we sort of have

our evenings together.

375

And obviously, like, I think the

first night she managed to sleep

376

for an hour, and then she woke up,

and so we had to go back up and then

377

re settle her, and, and just sort

378

of stay upstairs at that point.

379

You were.

380

Yep, the cop block stroke again.

381

But,

382

Dan 1: giving you some smooching

and then Waaah, waaah I was

383

like, ugh She's straight

384

Tilly: did manage to have some pum pum

straight out of the room on Thursday.

385

Dan 1: when your mum was around

386

Tilly: That's gonna be

our pum pum day, innit?

387

Dan 1: Yeah, so that's our second time

388

Tilly: Wooo!

389

Dan 1: been born

390

Tilly: Blagomy weekly occurrence.

391

If we can marry once a week, I'm kind

of happy with that for the time being.

392

Dan 1: Yeah, that's true.

393

There's a good book that I need to read by

the Gottmans, who are these relationship

394

therapists, who have been for a very

long time, and they've got a book called,

395

Tilly: shag when your baby's in the room.

396

Dan 1: understand a thing.

397

No, it's called Now

There Are Three, I think,

398

Tilly: So basically,

399

Dan 1: like marriage, or, or it's

like, now you have a child, I can't

400

remember what the name is, but

it's about, it's about how your

401

relationship changes once they've, what.

402

Tilly: now I'm back at work, we're

going to start looking into getting

403

a relationship therapist, aren't we?

404

Yeah, a couples therapist.

405

Dan 1: So there's a few things

that we, to watch, because they've

406

got, they've got an interesting

program, we've got them as well.

407

They did a they did an interview with

Dario, the CEO guy, who's someone

408

that I find quite frustrating, I

don't really like him very much.

409

but, let's.

410

I'm not going to lambast somebody

on my podcast who's a much better

411

Tilly: Probably wise.

412

Dan 1: podcaster, I just don't,

don't like other aspects about him.

413

Tilly: Please don't boycott us.

414

Dan 1: incredible interviewer,

415

Tilly: I'm

416

Dan 1: and, yeah, so.

417

He's done an interesting interview,

so you should watch that.

418

Um, and I'll just have to suffer

through the fact that it's him.

419

With all his annoying mannerisms.

420

Yeah.

421

Have you found going back to work, yeah?

422

Like, I like, I

423

Tilly: sure you can suck it up.

424

Dan 1: like it a lot.

425

Yeah.

426

I'm

427

To the fact that it's been two

428

Tilly: but yeah, so,

429

Dan 1: not having any

430

Tilly: generally I think this week's

gone quite well for our first week.

431

We're finding our feet, aren't

we, with how it works now.

432

New routine, all that sort of stuff.

433

I've had it quite mixed, yeah.

434

Like, I like getting back

into the swing of things.

435

I like being busy and working

hard, so I've liked that aspect.

436

Of going back into my work.

437

I think, It was definitely easier

once I moved myself upstairs.

438

I'm definitely going to

stick to working upstairs.

439

Because I find it much harder

to ignore her than you do.

440

So if I'm downstairs with you,

and she's upset, I very quickly

441

get distracted a lot easier.

442

Whereas if I'm upstairs, I can sort of cut

off with my mic and put my headphones on.

443

And sort of be, like, away from it.

444

So I think I'm just gonna have

to stick with going upstairs.

445

It'll give her, maybe her, like, her early

morning feed downstairs where she's gonna

446

sleep, hand it to you, then go upstairs.

447

So that works a lot better, for sure.

448

But I found it okay.

449

I think it's been, it's just been

sort of getting to the thing of

450

being like, okay, She needs a feed,

pop her on while I'm doing stuff.

451

Been a couple times where people

have been on meetings and I've

452

been like, Sorry my camera isn't

on, I'm just feeding my daughter.

453

You know, people are fine with it.

454

Dan 1: Yeah.

455

Tilly: so that's been good, it's

been, it's quite nice having that

456

reassurance that it does work fine.

457

Because this is going to be

the next few months, I want to

458

make sure I can do my job well.

459

Because otherwise it's not

really fair on my work.

460

but yeah, I guess we'll see.

461

I've been sort of, managed to

get a sort of, a morning routine

462

done that I'm quite happy with.

463

So we, you know, we get,

our alarm goes off at six.

464

I get up and sort of do a little bit

of yoga to sort of stretch out my body

465

which has been nice because anyone who's

breathed will know it like absolutely

466

fucks your posture like it makes you

so like hunched over and I'm somebody

467

who normally has quite good posture

so I'm sort of trying to crank myself

468

back into having a decent posture

and just stretch out a little bit and

469

then going for a nice little you know

washing my face doing my teeth going

470

for a dog walk cracking on Mother Day.

471

Yeah

472

Dan 1: so my morning routine was

quite good on that first day.

473

But then after that it was a bit shit.

474

And so if you're working from

upstairs, You're not playing on

475

her having her first sleep on

476

Tilly: No I just told you earlier like

when I do that first feed I don't mind

477

if she wants if you want to give you

a ride it's fine she can sleep on me.

478

Dan 1: that's my time, my

roughly like 45 minutes to an

479

Tilly: Yeah,

480

Dan 1: Okay.

481

Tilly: but you need to be ready

to go, like, as soon as she

482

latches on, you're out the door.

483

Dan 1: Well the problem with that is there

are other things that need to be done

484

around the house, like stuff needs to

be shared and stuff like that, so those

485

sorts of things end up eating into that

486

Tilly: But that can be done really after

your stuff, like, if Fatly doesn't get fed

487

till after you've done a run, he's fine.

488

Dan 1: just there are things, those sorts

of things that you're like, Oh, I can

489

do them in seconds without her, or they

take minutes with her, kind of thing,

490

and so, you're sort of like, Oh, I don't

know how that works, quickly try and do

491

all these things, and you know, all the

things that you do kind of add up to

492

being like, ten minutes out of your hour.

493

And that's quite frustrating,

obviously, if you've only got, like,

494

an hour to go do all that stuff.

495

Yeah, I think it's quite good all in all.

496

I've got some funny moments

that I've forgotten some of

497

Tilly: What is the way?

498

Um,

499

Dan 1: you've effectively gone back early.

500

I've only got like, 30 minutes.

501

Yeah.

502

Tilly: no, I think, I don't think

I felt any guilty at all that sort

503

of classic mum guilt everyone talks

about when you go back to work.

504

I think, yeah, I have gone back early.

505

There are moments like, When I'm doing

my work and I sort of see you outside

506

yesterday and I can hear her giggling

with you and kind of like, oh, you

507

know, you want to be part of that, but I

think that's always going to be the way.

508

So it's not necessarily guilt.

509

It's more just going, obviously,

I'd like to be with her.

510

Dan 1: Yeah, it's not really

guilt, it's more like missing.

511

FOMO,

512

Tilly: Yeah.

513

Dan 1: it's

514

Tilly: Yeah but I don't think

that's ever going to go away.

515

So, suck it up.

516

Get on with

517

it.

518

No,

519

Dan 1: so, do you have what

about on Wednesday then?

520

not have any then, when you went in?

521

Because you went in to,

actually went in to work.

522

Tilly: I think because I know

she's with you, it's a lot easier.

523

Dan 1: was working twice every day.

524

Tilly: Like I said before, I think if

I'd gone straight back into work, being

525

on site every day, and her being in

like a nursery or childmind or whatever,

526

I would have had a lot more of that.

527

But I know she's with her parent.

528

Dan 1: but we are looking at

nurseries, aren't we, currently?

529

Tilly: Yeah, we've seen two so far.

530

Both have been like, Okay,

but not blown our minds.

531

No,

532

Dan 1: I'm always taken back by the

533

Tilly: it's terrible.

534

Dan 1: of the operation,

535

Tilly: Mmm,

536

Dan 1: Like, when people say, I

can't believe nurseries cost so much,

537

but I can't get around, but I can.

538

Tilly: yeah.

539

Dan 1: Like, the amount of staff, the

amount of stuff that we've got to do.

540

Like, nursery, when I remember it as

a kid, was just bundle a load of kids

541

in a room and give them some toys.

542

Nowadays, it seems to be so

543

Tilly: Was it?

544

I don't think my nursery was like that.

545

Dan 1: I

546

Tilly: I thought we'd do, we'd do

547

Dan 1: to nursery in Portugal,

so all I remember is getting my

548

fingers stuck in a plug hole.

549

That's probably one of my earliest

memories, is And then, and then

550

the nursery teachers to hide

it from my mum, and my mum was

551

like Why's he got a red finger?

552

I don't know.

553

Sold it.

554

You know what?

555

No, he's lying.

556

He's lying.

557

My mum wasn't living.

558

I think she switched nurseries after that.

559

Tilly: What was it like

560

Dan 1: that in Portugal, though,

is milk in a mandatory siesta.

561

I remember that.

562

Stingy.

563

Tilly: We'd have half an apple.

564

Dan 1: I've

565

Tilly: apple, and a little carton of milk.

566

And then one time, the

box of like milks came in.

567

and there's a caterpillar on it

and we all fucking lost our minds.

568

Oh my god, a caterpillar!

569

It's very exciting.

570

I remember learning about

hot and cold, yeah, and

571

lots of dressing up, lots of reading

time, like lots of story time, and the

572

tiny tiny bathroom stools, and painting.

573

Dan 1: sizable operation in

574

Tilly: Yeah.

575

Dan 1: I don't, I don't remember

them being as segregated

576

in terms of year groups.

577

Tilly: I went to a couple different

ones, so I was at Chow Minders to begin

578

with, which I don't really remember

because I was too little and then I went

579

to, I guess, Yeah, like a mixed nurse,

but it would have had different years,

580

which was called First Steps in Bristol.

581

That was like a really massive

open, like, hall, which they'd sort

582

of like partitioned off in areas.

583

But I think that was more

of a mixture of ages.

584

But then my actual nursery that was in

my school, so like, you know, for the

585

one or two years before reception, you

could go to the nursery that was part

586

of the school, that was more of the

same age groups as you, you were all

587

sort of like three or four, whatever age

you are, in that sort of preschool bit.

588

Dan 1: because most nurseries are what,

about 50 to 75 quid a day, aren't they?

589

Tilly: Yeah,

590

Dan 1: Like, some really high

end ones are just a little

591

Tilly: I don't think any were 50, I think.

592

Yeah,

593

Dan 1: some that are

about 55 to touching 60.

594

And then to about 70, most

of them, the really high end

595

ones are like 75 to 85 ish.

596

Tilly: 95.

597

I've

598

Dan 1: Are they?

599

How much is that really?

600

Tilly: seen a few that have been 95.

601

Dan 1: And you can do like

whole days and half days.

602

But some of the whole

days are a bit of a joke.

603

They're like 8 till 4

604

Tilly: No, most of them are

like half sevens or half six.

605

Dan 1: Yeah.

606

So you can really Bang your

kids in there for 11 hours and

607

fuck off and live your own life.

608

Tilly: But I mean, that is helpful.

609

If you like, if you were

someone who had to commute,

610

Dan 1: and if you're a sole parent.

611

Tilly: Yeah.

612

Dan 1: if we both

613

Tilly: Well if we both just had a classic

nine to five, we'd have to do that.

614

Probably we could only get

rid of doing less probably.

615

'cause we both, we work

slightly different hours.

616

I work earlier.

617

You work slightly like as normal hours.

618

So you could do drop off and I can do

pick up at an earlier time, but if we

619

both worked at classic 95 in London

620

Dan 1: I mean, even, even though

we don't, days that I would go

621

into London, I'd still have to

drop her off at about half seven,

622

Tilly: Yeah,

623

Dan 1: And then you'd pick

624

Tilly: about four,

625

Dan 1: about four.

626

So yeah, it's just the

fact that you finish early.

627

Because you start early.

628

But it is crazy to think that you can drop

like 6 months old baby off for 11 hours.

629

Tilly: yeah

630

Dan 1: That's how you get mum guilt.

631

Tilly: Yeah, I think I will I think

it might be a bit more when we

632

start and put her in child care But

633

I think I all in all first week

Not gone badly, and obviously we

634

haven't had my mum here on Thursday.

635

Okay,

636

I told you

637

Dan 1: I've forgotten my funny.

638

Tilly: I know, I've ruined my time.

639

Didn't want to.

640

Yeah, I also.

641

Dan 1: apprehensive, obviously,

with you being in the whole

642

day, and then me having an hour.

643

I wasn't sure how it was going to go.

644

And so, yeah.

645

You know, we did lots of walks, lots

of stuff, and she slept a lot, she ate

646

a lot, so it's pretty good otherwise.

647

Low, uh, let's When I didn't realize

how hard it is to carry her for like

648

half an hour without, well, it was a bit

more like 40 minutes without a sling.

649

You're getting quite heavy now.

650

Yeah, yeah, so my been recovering since

then because I also did a run that day

651

so my body was already a bit like, oh

wow, we're doing physical exercise again,

652

Tilly: I'm done.

653

Dan 1: a sling was quite a bit of effort.

654

So, my back's still feeling a bit sore,

even though it's no, no, Saturday now.

655

Saturday!

656

Oh no, we're gonna, we've

gotta watch out, we'll be,

657

Tilly: I think we'll do that.

658

I think it's close enough.

659

Dan 1: Yeah.

660

Tilly: We'll get you

to sing it, it's fine.

661

Uh,

662

Dan 1: at Cadence.

663

Tilly: And,

664

Dan 1: bunnies!

665

There was something that had me really

laughing on the sofa that she did.

666

Tilly: Add it in later,

let me remember it.

667

Dan 1: what was it baby girl?

668

What was

669

Tilly: Oh, it was funny this week.

670

I'm just gonna jump in on the funnies.

671

When you were doing Stompy time with

her when she did her little bouncy thing

672

and then Fatty was sort of attacking

you because she was getting worked up.

673

She was absolutely losing her mind.

674

So clearly she likes it

when Fatty attacks Jan.

675

Dan 1: yeah, I remember my funny.

676

So she wasn't attacking me, I wouldn't,

sorry, he wasn't really attacking me,

677

but he's used to kind of, what will

happen is, We'll play sort of like

678

almost it, where I'll chase after him

and tap him and then run back and he'll

679

chase after me and then just me as a

680

Tilly: he was quite confused by lunch, so

he just he just comes back to eat his deer

681

and goat, um, and she kind of enjoys it.

682

Well, your boobs.

683

Nice.

684

Dan 1: your boobs get that reaction.

685

Not that good, I sort of get a reaction,

but not like 'aaahhhh' Elation.

686

Tilly: Uh,

687

Dan 1: dogs do.

688

Tilly: so my funny actually

was, yesterday, So, for

689

Dan 1: so, for

690

Tilly: whatever reason, Batsy Boy had

to eat a lot of grass He was chomping at

691

a tree at the end of the day.

692

So his usual food spot was reached.

693

And so he, uh,

694

Dan 1: currently covered by tree,

which I need to try and work out

695

how I get rid of all the cuttings.

696

so he,

697

Tilly: I couldn't get hold of the

698

Dan 1: back there and decided

to just eat some random grass.

699

Don't know why that made him eat grass.

700

But

701

Tilly: nail he,

702

Dan 1: then, when we went on our

703

Tilly: had on my wallpaper.

704

It had

705

been in strings of glass.

706

I was running

707

Dan 1: doing that horrible thing that

dogs do where they end up having like

708

strings of grass stuck in their ass.

709

Stuck in his ass,

710

Tilly: around trying to get it out.

711

And she was laughing about it.

712

I was trying to pull and

move and I had to get back.

713

my hand was trying to grab the thing.

714

she was absolutely loving it.

715

Dan 1: finding it hilarious.

716

Tilly: You were in a little

version of Scat Chat, wasn't it?

717

Yeah, you were doing

718

Dan 1: were just laughing away while I

was chasing him while he had a little

719

shitty grass tail coming out of his

720

Tilly: that.

721

Mum and Pop's also got a good

laugh out of it, didn't they?

722

When they were over on Thursday.

723

They'd not really seen

a proper laugh before.

724

So they were very happy about that.

725

Dan 1: So what's your highs and

726

Tilly: Um,

727

Dan 1: You

728

Tilly: I don't necessarily have

729

anything massively extreme from this week.

730

Dan 1: record.

731

Tilly: Like, highs or lows, really.

732

No, not really.

733

Dan 1: That was very hard to do sketch up.

734

Okay,

735

Tilly: That's okay.

736

Let's see, are we any fun

sketchettes this week?

737

Dan 1: do your noise.

738

Tilly: Skiddly a pa pa!

739

Sketchette!

740

Dan 1: sketch up from the

741

Tilly: We did!

742

Have fun.

743

Because she's starting to wean,

we had our first foodie poo.

744

So we had a poo full of broccoli bits.

745

Was

746

That broccoli bits?

747

Dan 1: bits?

748

Or was

749

Tilly: Well, we had two.

750

The broccoli bits one like, after Sunday.

751

And then we had one yesterday

that was just like, we

752

couldn't We had one yesterday.

753

So we had like little

754

dark slimy bits in It yeah,

it was like a boiled spinach.

755

Yeah, but she's not had spinach yet.

756

Dan 1: And we wouldn't give her

such a horrible texture anyway.

757

Tilly: okay with text, so

she can't be like, yeah.

758

Dan 1: It's slimy.

759

Tilly: That's fine, saliva textures

are fine, it's part of food.

760

Some foods are slimy,

there's a pleasure in that.

761

Dan 1: As we find out, she

should go to China for those.

762

The Chinese very much like

763

Tilly: Oh.

764

Dan 1: different mouthfeels,

including things that we Westerners

765

Tilly: Oh.

766

Dan 1: dislike, like slimy, gristly.

767

Tilly: I think she's about to do

a poo, so let's, let's speed up.

768

Yeah.

769

Are you gonna poo for us?

770

poo poo poo poo poo poo.

771

Any poof, any poof stories?

772

no, I

773

Dan 1: just, you know, cleaned them up

774

Tilly: The science lab.

775

I'm a scientist, and on the day I had

to check on my two year old Of course,

776

that's the time It

777

Dan 1: three.

778

Number three.

779

I don't know.

780

Tilly: went all over him and

all the way down into his boots.

781

Dan 1: I

782

Tilly: I had to strip him completely

and throw everything in the biohazard

783

Dan 1: bin.

784

Tilly: Thinking I was just

popping interest, I'd left

785

the baby bag in the car,

786

Dan 1: of course.

787

Tilly: So I had to wrap him in a

bath toy sterile mat to get him home.

788

I would have taken a photo, if

I was so angry at my husband.

789

my husband doesn't have to deal with

the sort of shit that my wife does.

790

I assume it's such a boob.

791

Dan 1: it's all encompassing.

792

Okay,

793

Okay, this one's called

the Helicopter Poo.

794

Tilly: We have this amazing helicopter

795

Dan 1: at the local kids

796

Tilly: playground.

797

It's huge and six or seven

kids can slide on it.

798

One day, my three and a half

year old kid was in there with

799

his cousins and his mothers.

800

Next thing we know, all these kids

have been running out, screaming

801

Dan 1: come running out screaming that

802

Tilly: something to help.

803

Dan 1: Except

804

Tilly: for my kid, who was huddled

in the pilot's seat, crying

805

because his friend ran away.

806

Well, that's what you get for crapping

your pants in a closed environment.

807

Dan 1: Constance, mother of the

year, there we go, supportive.

808

Okay.

809

No,

810

Tilly: I thought it was going to be like

a weird poo poo khaki or something, they

811

all just ended up pooing everywhere.

812

Dan 1: I was hoping it was like a

813

Tilly: yeah.

814

Okay, the Oprah poo.

815

Dan 1: no.

816

Tilly: to see Oprah at the opera

house years ago with my sister.

817

My wonderful brother in law was

looking after my two year old.

818

Dan 1: know Oprah was at opera houses.

819

Tilly: Which probably does like

chats, like talks and things I

820

guess.

821

At the hotel, my, brother in

law, Entered to, a lift to take

822

my kid up to the room for a nap.

823

In that instant, he decided

to do a massive number two.

824

A baby, not a brother in law.

825

everyone was gagging at

the smell of the lift.

826

They were not amused.

827

That's not half funny.

828

Maybe pooing in the lift.

829

Dan 1: my 3 year old to the

830

Tilly: Okay.

831

The public loo poo.

832

I had to rush to get my three

year old to the parents room.

833

At the shops.

834

We made it just in time, but he

didn't want to go in the little kid's

835

loo, he wanted to use the mummy loo.

836

To avoid an accident, I yanked down

his pants and snatched him up and sat

837

him on the big toilet, just in time.

838

If only I had seen the lid was down.

839

Oh no, shit's all over the place.

840

Dan 1: The

841

Tilly: The frequent flyer Poop.

842

We were flying London to Dubai

for three kids, all toiletries.

843

Dan 1: Shit, that's a long flight though.

844

Tilly: We travelled a lot on my husband's

way, and there's never been an issue.

845

before.

846

flying York, why doesn't your husband

just leave your family all the time?

847

Except, of course, this time.

848

Dan 1: the time?

849

Except, of course, this time.

850

Tilly: My four year old, our youngest,

suddenly had an upset stomach.

851

We made it to the loo twice, by

the third round, she was exhausted

852

couldn't get up fast enough.

853

went all over the seat, and I can't even

tell you what the cabin smelled like.

854

No one said anything.

855

And the airline was good about it, but it

856

Dan 1: And the airline was good about it,

857

Tilly: traumatised me for life.

858

Dan 1: That would be rank.

859

Tilly: Imagine being unlucky.

860

Dan 1: a fucking seven hour flight.

861

Yeah.

862

Oh, crikey.

863

Tilly: Well, maybe it's not a reader.

864

Yeah.

865

I don't think, I don't think

farts do smell on a plane.

866

I don't think that's true.

867

From someone who's been like, Oh

yeah, because of the pressure in the

868

way they breathe through the air,

you can't smell a fart on a plane.

869

And I was like,

870

Dan 1: The filters.

871

That's not

872

Tilly: Okay, on that level,

we've got a wriggly baby.

873

Yeah, we do have a

874

very wriggly baby.

875

Dan 1: wriggly baby.

876

Tilly: And so adios.

877

Laters.

878

Sanction.

879

Bye.

880

Bye.