Episode 18 brings the final scenes of the Song of Solomon into focus as it reflects on the foundations that make lasting love possible. From the importance of godly character and wise preparation to the power of shared memories and a unique love language, this episode reveals how strong marriages are cultivated long before the wedding day and strengthened throughout a lifetime together. The passage highlights parenting methods that prepare children for lasting relationships.

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RELATIONSHIP REALITIES: https://relationship-realities.captivate.fm/listen

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Welcome to the Fortifying youg Family podcast.

It can be daunting to navigate through an anti marriage and family culture.

Our teacher will expound biblical principles to help fortify our families and keep these sacred institutions strong.

And now here's this week's teaching from Sam Wood.

Look with me as we transition in verse eight.

It's a flashback.

Now we might say, well, how did she learn of this love?

How did, how was it taught to her?

Well, they're going to describe this.

This is very important.

As this song closes out again, this is a curtain call.

We see a flashback to her brothers preparing her for her marriage relationship.

Look at verse eight.

This is her brothers.

We have a little sister and she hath no breasts.

What shall we do for our sister in the day when she shall be spoken for?

So they're saying, we've got a little sister, so how are we going to raise her?

Prepare her.

And for when she gets married, what do we need to do?

Love like this, this strong love begins with character developed in the home.

And all of this is a flashback to her upbringing where her brothers were like parents to her.

They were the ones that raised her.

And they're speaking, as Sam said, they're real concern for her future.

And I know every parent here, I know for us to think about who our boys are going to marry and to get them prepared to recognize that right person, it's just, it weighs on you.

It's so important.

That's what the brothers are saying here.

And so they think back to when she was entering puberty and how did they prepare her?

This is their method of child rearing here, verse nine.

If she be a wall, we will build upon her a palace of silver.

And if she be a door, we will enclose her with boards of cedar.

So this is their strategy.

It's going to depend upon her character.

If she's a wall, that means if she's impervious to the advances of guys, they'll encourage her, they'll praise her for her virtuous stand.

And when it says to place a battlement of silver, that means to decorate to make her more beautiful.

They will just encourage her and show her she's going in the right direction and just prepare her in that way.

But if, if she's a doer, if this girl's a door, that means if she's open to the advances of boys, if she's easily entered or easily seduced, they're going to barricade her with planks of silver, planks of cedar and this means if she is insanely boy crazy, which I have certainly met a lot of girls that are, and if she's insanely boy crazy, her guardians, they're going to be strict with her.

They're going to watch out, they're going to limit her activity.

They're not going to let her be alone anywhere where she can be alone with guys.

They're going to be super, super strict with her.

So, you know, they're making a distinction with these girls and how they raise them.

But then she goes on and she talks about.

She responds to what they're saying, and this describes how she was when she grew up.

In verse 10, she says, I'm a wall and my breasts like towers.

Then was I in his eyes as one that found favor.

She says, when I was growing up, I was the type of girl that my brothers described as a wall.

My breasts were inaccessible.

She didn't show them off, and the guys couldn't get to him.

She was strong in her virtuous stand.

That's why she captured Solomon's eyes, because he noticed her grace, he noticed her confidence, and he noticed that she was pure and she wasn't out chasing guys.

So mystery and virginity are very attractive to a man.

And this again, was singled out as one of the things that in Shulamite's skill as a lover, along with this committed love for her husband.

And, you know, I'll never forget when I was first year in college, during the summer, I had this job and I worked at a car wash and another girl worked with me.

And I mean, we worked real hard, but we'd have a lot of time in between.

And we get to know the owner.

He was a single man, divorced, and we do a lot of talking with him in our spare time.

And he made this statement.

Then he said, you know, Laura, that's the other girl.

She's the kind of girl I'd like to date, but Debbie's the girl I'd want to marry.

Well, you know, at the time, I was so insulted because I felt what he was saying.

And he was saying, I could have me a good time with her.

She's a lot of fun, this other girl, you know.

And then he says, but you, you know, you're the one I can depend on.

And, you know, and I was so insulted, I thought, oh, he thinks I'm no fun and I wouldn't be a good date and all this.

But now when I look back on it, you know, I'm grateful and I understand.

Even though he didn't Mean it in this way.

I was a wall, you know, I didn't just fall for any guy that came along.

And so now it's very important to me.

So, parents, this is sound biblical strategy for raising your girls.

Praise and encourage virtuous character and be strict if they're easily influenced.

So encourage and honor girls who guard against the advances of guys, but restrict girls who.

Who are flirtatious and easily influenced by the advances of guys.

Train young people, this is really important.

Train young people to observe character in the opposite sex before getting involved in a relationship.

Okay, look at verse 11.

Solomon had a vineyard at Belhammon.

He let out the vineyard unto keepers, every one.

For the fruit thereof was to bring a thousand pieces silver.

So this describes how that they met.

It's going back and talking about how Solomon met.

He would lease out these vineyards and there would be a thousand pieces of silver that would be brought back.

My vineyard, which is mine, is before me.

Thou, O Solomon, must have a thousand, and those that keep the fruit thereof, 200.

So the Shulamite now saying, okay, you're going to keep, you're going to have a thousand, but the people who worked in the vineyard, that they should get 200.

And so what she's saying is, you need to reward my brothers for what they have done for me in me keeping my vineyard and me being the way that I am, you need to reward my brothers for bringing me up the way they did.

So what she's really saying is we should honor and bless our parents with gifts after we're married.

We need to tell and show them that we're grateful for how they raised us.

And hopefully you can say that to your parents.

I know not everyone can, but certainly we ought to try to bless them.

Certainly, if we can do that.

And the Bible says that we are to honor our father and mother, and certainly we should do that.

Be sensitive to care for your parents when you are mature and they have needs in their life.

And that's really what she's saying to Solomon.

Listen, my mother, my brothers over here, they raised me and I want to take care of them.

I want to be sensitive to their needs.

I want to make sure they're provided for.

And they did a good job raising me.

And so I want you to be aware of that and bless them.

And she.

This is Solomon speaking right here, verse 13.

He's saying, Thou that dwellest in the gardens, the companions hearken to.

Thy voice calls me to hear it.

What he's saying here is, you know, we're Back home where you live, in the area where you're from.

And he says, when we come home, every time we come home and you get with your old girlfriends and your friends that we have at home, and they're so excited to hear your voice again, and y' all get together and you talk about all these things that you used to do.

And I think about me when we go back to Lynchburg, Virginia.

That's where I grew up.

And all the girls I graduate from high school are there.

They all live there except for me.

Everybody.

I'm the only one that moved away.

They get together every time one of them has a birthday or something special.

You know, when one of them have a grandchild, they all get together and they'll go out real regularly with each other.

They keep up with each other.

They have a good time together.

But when I come in, it's like we have a lot of catching up to do because I haven't seen them.

And there's still that bond from high school and all the things we're doing together.

And that's how it is when she comes back to her home.

And you know what?

He's a bit jealous here because he says, y' all talk about all these things.

They can't wait to hear your voice.

And he says, cause me to hear it.

Have you got any little special words for me?

You know, it's kind of like Sam used to be jealous of our dog.

He thought I paid more attention to him than the dog.

And he would always say, but you do all this for Thor.

And he's just saying, can you say any of these little things for me?

And look at verse 14.

This is her response.

She says, make haste, my beloved, and be thou like to a roe or to a young heart upon the mountains of spices.

So she goes back to the things she said originally when they were dating.

You know, be like one of those sexy dears and come on and hop back over here.

I know you've got business you have to take care of.

Run to your business, and then make sure you come back to the me and we'll climb these mountains of spices again.

So this is their special own little love language, and they're using it again.

You all need a love language between the two of you, Something that you understand.

You know, we talked about the apples and the raisins, but she's letting him know that he does get to hear special language from her.

She's got these special little things that they communicate between the two of them.

So let him always Hear your special message of intimacy that is intended only for him.

This really tightens the bond of affection,.

You know, What a beautiful song that this is, a song of songs, which is Solomon's.

And it gives us a whole picture of a relationship in the courtship, the processional, in the wedding day, in the bridal chamber, going through conflict, resolving the conflict, kissing and making up.

And even how that she was trained in the things of her brothers and mother raised her up.

And the source of all of this is in Jehovah, God and the love of God.

And I guess as the curtains close on this song, I was trying to think if there's one statement you could make there.

I think it's a statement maybe that Martin Luther made.

He said this, he said, let the wife make the husband glad to come home and let him make her sorry to see him leave.

And I think that would be a good statement to write across the curtains as these curtains close on this song.

And it's a beautiful song.

And it's our prayer that these as we've gone through it verse by verse and really apply it to your own heart and life.

You know, God doesn't want us just to be hearers of the Word, only He wants us to be doers.

He wants us to apply it to our own life, in our own marriage relationships, and be enriched by it.

And again, I want to encourage you, there's so many couples hurting everywhere, and you can be a source of really helping these couples get mending in their marriage through the source of Jesus Christ and sharing with them principles.

And so I think one of the greatest outreaches we can have in our communities today is to help all these hurting couples because they're everywhere.

Thank you for joining the Fortifying youg Family podcast.

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Remember, fortifying your family starts with a strong belief in God's Word.