This week we welcome Beth Crosby, aka Garbage Mom, to the show. Beth is an actress, comedian, and content creator.

She started creating content during the pandemic as an outlet to connect with other women and share in the perimenopause transition. She now has over 250k subscribers and is the creator of Perimenapalooza™.

We talk about her symptoms of perimenopause and how anxiety was one of the worst. We also chat about being in an industry that works last minute and isn't conducive to women being mothers.

She shares how she had undiagnosed celiac disease that was causing a lot of issues and dealt with medical gaslighting from doctors until she finally got the right tests to discover what was going on.

She also shares why, even though she knew how raw and honest she wanted to be, it's scary to really put everything out there online.

And she shares some amazing attention she's getting from her idols—Alanis Morissette commented on her post about Perimenapalooza.

She's hilarious, vulnerable, and completely unfiltered about what it's really like navigating perimenopause while trying to keep your career, marriage, and sanity intact.

Highlights

• Gen X is the first generation refusing to accept the status quo whether it's breaking generational trauma or demanding better healthcare.
• If something feels off, keep going until you find the help you need.
• Motherhood is a gift but also hard.
• Vaginal estrogen can make a real difference when sex drive disappears.
• Freeze your eggs if you're young and unsure about timing.
• Couples therapy helps navigate the changes perimenopause brings to relationships.
• Don't accept "it's just your period" as an answer push for help.

If you're experiencing symptoms that don't feel right, don't accept "it's just your period" or "this is normal" as an answer. Keep pushing until you find the help you need.

Talk to your provider about what's actually happening. If they dismiss you, find someone who will listen.

Subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss upcoming episodes.

Connect with Beth:

Website

Instagram

Get in Touch with Me:

Website

Instagram

Youtube

Substack

Hey y'all, it's me, Dr. Smita Raman, Gyno Girl. Welcome back to another episode of Gyno Girl Presents Sex, Drugs, and Hormones. I'm Dr. Smita Raman, sex, mem, gynecologist, menopause specialist in Chicago. And this podcast is usually a place where we talk about things that people are thinking, but they might not say out loud. So today's episode, I have a very special guest, months and months in the making, two busy women in midlife. can never get to go together. But we want to be able to laugh about things and be entertained and

Thank

joy and understand each other's journeys. sometimes, you know, we have to laugh or else we'll cry and perimenopause. So I feel like this has been, when I found, when I found Beth Crosby on Instagram, it was like such a joy because, okay, first of all, I didn't know all the things she'd already done, but just like it just so fucking hilarious. mean, so hilarious that it's just like to bring entertainment to so many aspects of.

midlife, of motherhood, of hormones, of like trying to balance everything. So,

Hopefully this will be a very fun entertaining and you know informative podcast So I want to introduce Beth Crosby also known as the garbage mom Which we have to talk about is also who is an actor a content creator a writer She's hilarious She is one of the most honest voices on the internet when it comes to motherhood and midlife No, no jokes aside. I mean all jokes aside just very good entertainment and just some compelling things that we that she talks about

So today we're going talk about mental load and invisible labor and sort of identity shifts in midlife and how we're navigating it in your own perimenopause journey if you want to talk about it. So thanks so much Beth for being on today.

God, I feel so great. I mean, I literally just like cleaned the bathroom. So like, I love going from that to like hearing like done. I mean, thank you so much. That was the best intro ever. need to like, thank you.

my god, I was telling her before offline I was like I did the IMDB thing just figure out where else Beth had been and she had found a new girl, you know, like I'm like new girl obsessed like I love I love the whole gang I love Schmidt and Jess and all the people so I went

It was so fun and that episode, and we shot like two blocks away from my house up at some bar. It was really, really fun. That was such a great.

Yeah, the park, right? The Fancy Man. I think it was, yeah, it's called The Fancy Man.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was great. It was so fun.

I'll link where it is so you guys can go back and have some hilarious fun. It was just...

That was pre-baby. That was like before motherhood, you know how you have two different lives? Yeah.

Yeah, two different, totally, totally two different lives, Well, let's start from the, know, like I'm gyno girl on Instagram. I like a good backstory. Like I wanna hear your backstory. Like what brought you into acting and then what brought you into content creation and then what brought you into perimenopause? I wanna hear all of it. I mean, I know what brought you into perimenopause is your ovaries, Yeah, yeah.

my God, we gotta pour some drinks or some non-alcoholic drink. Like I can barely drink these days thanks to Perry Douglas. Well, okay, gonna try. I always was an actor my whole life. I grew up dancing. I was in competitive dance. I would be in the studio like 25 hours a week, like dancing. And it really saved me, I feel like as a kid, you know? My parents were divorcing and I was like almost heading in a wrong direction with the wrong crowd.

Amazing. Yeah.

more work.

but then like found dance and then drama in high school found like the weirdos and they were like, they became my life. Yeah, the brilliant, mean, they're all like, yeah, they're great. I still am friends with them. And then I ended up going to Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh and got my...

Yeah.

Brilliant, brilliant weirdos.

Yeah.

BFA in musical theater. And then, so I am a singer and I moved to New York for a while. And then, but then I really wanted to focus on comedy. So I moved to LA and I found a company called the Groundlings Theater, which is like a sketch comedy theater out here. And like Kristen Wiig came out of it, Will Ferrell, Meyer and Belth, like just so many huge, incredible names. And I was in there.

Yeah.

Dr. Sameena Rahman (04:42.275)

What?

Yes. Yeah.

Yeah.

I was in their program and then I was in their company, their Sunday company, and it was like, boot comedy boot camp. Like, I feel like I got my master's degree there, like in comedy. And I, it was, I got to screen test for SNL. They flew me out for, to audition, to screen test for Saturday Alive. And I did the whole thing, like on the stage. Like I blacked out. I mean, I don't even remember my audition. Cause I like, I never.

I love it. I get it, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. No, I hear it's really scary to be in front of, you know, the crew and Lorne Michaels and all the things. Has he, has he, like, poker-faced the whole time?

It was, yeah, Lauren Michaels. it was, yeah, you couldn't really see, thankfully, because they have it like, you're doing a live show. I think they really tried to like intimidate you. They like, they had us waiting in the dressing room for like hours. And then they were like, okay, you're on. And then you go down. I had my little bag of like wigs for my characters.

my

Yeah.

And then you get on stage and they go, okay, in three, two, one, and then the lights come on and a camera comes, swings in right in front of your face. And you have five minutes to your best material.

That's it,

Yeah, yeah, around five minutes, yeah. So my audition is stored somewhere at 30 Rock, because I keep all the others. I didn't get the job, obviously, which, you know, looking back, I was in my 20s, like, I don't think I could have handled it, you know? Like, it would have been a Yeah. But that was like a pinch me moment. I never in my wildest dreams thought I would get to do that. So that happened.

Yeah.

intense, seems like.

Anywho, I ended up working with lots of different comedy theaters out here and working in film and TV. And anyways, cut to 2020, the pandemic happened. My industry shut down completely. What about yours? your industry shut down in 2020?

Larry.

We didn't do anything, we were just hanging out.

I mean, I'm in private practice, so it did affect us because we're a small business. I had to pivot and go back to the hospital.

my god.

You know, but then, you know, like it was, was challenging. did a lot of that's how televisits, you know, became sort of like the thing, right? So, yeah.

Thank God for tele-visits, because I don't like to leave my house, so it's great.

Hold on, she's texting me. Okay, I don't know. Okay, start with that. Yeah, I have kids at home. They're on spring break and my son has a fever and all the things. So, yeah.

No, I'll take her.

Bye!

That's not welcome to motherhood like look at you. It's spring break. Your kid has a fever. I'm like where you are right now. Why are you talking to me? This is crazy.

Yeah.

Boys he's he turned 16 yesterday. So he had he had the flu turning 16. Isn't that sad? Yeah, yeah, not his family. You know, didn't go anywhere all his friends were out like,

That's Did he get a...

my god, did he get his license or?

That's all I have to

We live downtown Chicago, so you know, it's kind of like, you know, when I was growing up in the suburbs of North Carolina, it was like a big thing. You turned 16, you're at the DMV, like right then and there, you know? Right? But this, you know, he's kind of, I'm like, well, I don't think you're ready to drive in Chicago yet. You know, if you can't turn off your brain to have stopped scrolling, then I'm not sure. Yeah. Yeah. At least get on a map or something.

That's different.

100%. Yeah.

I don't know how these kids drive period with like phones.

Or like the map quest, remember we used to have to print out map quests like directions.

Dude, when I moved to LA, since you're taking me down memory lane, when I moved to LA after college to pursue acting, I would go to auditions with the Thomas Guide. Do you remember the Thomas Guide? I'm showing my age, I'm Gen X. like, Yeah, I remember bringing it out, like flipping through it, pulling over. Yeah, was a whole, kids these days.

Peace.

yes, yes, yes, Yeah, yeah, I'm trying to see, yeah, yeah.

So you started content creating during the pandemic.

During the pandemic, because my business shut down and I was, my daughter was four and I was absolutely losing my mind. I was like, I'm gonna jump out this window. I have no work, no creative outlet. I love being a mom. It's like, it is the best thing that ever happened to me in my entire life. Amanda, but we were like, we were shut in our little place, my husband, me and my daughter. So.

But there's always a but at the third full stop.

Anyway, I just started making content creation under the guise of Garbage Mom.

I should come up with that one. Garbage Bump.

love it. But I was wondering.

Well, I had a couple names. My first name was, it was going to be called Cluster Feed. Kind of like, know, motherhood is a cluster, you know, but cluster feed as in breastfeeding and all that. yeah, I was deep in like baby-age time when I was coming up with that idea. But you know, Garbage Mom kind of stood out because I was like, I didn't relate to these.

I'll ask your fuck, but...

Yeah.

moms that were making content at the time where it was very accepted, very like, come with me as I get ready to take my little baby, whatever. I was like, and I literally like no pants, struggling like I had postpartum. I couldn't breastfeed the way I wanted to. wasn't making it. I mean, I was a mess and yeah. I was like, so garbage mom to me kind of was like,

you

Well, well.

I'm totally, I feel that.

I'm very self-deprecating, but also it's a positive thing. It's okay. This is real. To be a good mom, you don't have to be perfect, and you're not gonna be perfect.

Yeah.

I love it actually and I think what's so interesting is like, know I was a practicing OBGYN by the first time I had a baby and you know, was like, you know 10 years into being an attending or something. I don't know anyway, but when I hit postpartum and you know would counsel women in postpartum and I would frown on them and I wouldn't think but it was and I never had like full-on depression, but I definitely had the blues. I definitely felt like is this like is this what

Is this what I... Is this it? Oh no!

Is this what's happening to me? Because then I in between jobs too because I was working 100 hour weeks before and then after I like I gotta find a new job. I can't work 100 hour weeks with the newborn. And so I was like oh, but I think that's what really transformed my desire to do fourth trimester care specifically for my patients. I was like I gotta set up a system for fourth trimester care because

You know, we leave people and we don't teach our residents and our OBs how to really deal with it. Like we need to, we need to lock in on these women, you know?

You are amazing because I wish I had had that. I I had a therapist, who's just my normal therapist, who when I started having thoughts, like I had a lot of intrusive thoughts when I was postpartum and I was like, oh my God, I thought, if I, I mean, so like, what if I throw her out the window? Like that is.

I

Totally. Right. Yeah.

worse. Yeah.

Yeah, no, but those are not uncommon. Like, hear all of them. Those are intrusive anxiety kind of thoughts and OCD-ish. You like you get that one. But just think, like, anytime we have hormonal fluctuation in our lives, we're susceptible to mental health changes, right? Puberty, postpartum, on medications that lower our hormones, and then perimenopause, right? Like, it's...

Yeah!

Yeah, absolutely. mean, that's so, it's like, looking back, I know that, but like no one at this was my daughter's nine now. So at the time, no one prepared me for any of that. In fact, I was on an antidepressant just before like when I got pregnant and the doctors were like, we don't know if you should stay on it pregnancy. And I'm like, and I was like, I'm having full panic attacks. And they were like,

No.

What? What?

Yeah.

just like breathe and it's like there's no there was no discussion of like how are you you need to be like let's figure you out and and then then they just send after you have the baby they send you home and they're like have fun and you're like and then and have sex yeah don't have sex right don't have they're sick so we also people that like i don't understand this people that get pregnant

Yes.

Don't have snacks. By the way.

don't have sex, so thanks.

like literally six weeks after having a baby, like God bless them, but how, I did not want anyone to go near that like car crash. You know what I mean? Like literally.

Yeah. Yeah.

Literally, car crash. We can pull all of the cars back together, you know.

Your body feels...

Yeah, absolutely. And not just there, just like your whole, I don't feel like my body was like mine for like a year. Yeah. A year.

for year. Yes. That's why I tell people I was like wait for a year before you might feel don't you think it's like I think it's like a postpartum year.

Absolutely. And yeah, Howard, I've, and it's weird, like, your body was kind of yours a year after, but for me it wasn't until, and this is insane, I only have one, but year eight, where I had space to go, what do I wanna do now, again? You know, like, or what do I, I feel like I can kind of look at my life more, you know? I don't know, it took me that long.

I'm eight years postpartum right now.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And no one ever tells you the timeline. No. They just say, yeah.

other ones. Yeah, of course. So no, and it's true. And so then tell me like, you know, because you started making some like perimenopausal content over the last what two years or so maybe or a year.

Yeah, yeah, two or three years. You know, I just kind of make content about what I know. And as I started experiencing these symptoms, I just started, I don't know, making content about it and...

We're doomed.

Yeah.

around the same time that people really started to talk about it online. Thankfully. I mean, I'm so glad we live or I'm going through pre-med pause during a time where people are talking about it. Like, my mom is no longer with us, but for sure no one was talking about this with her, you know? Like, and she never talked about it with me ever. No.

Yes.

Yes.

I know.

Yeah, for sure. it. Yeah. Yeah, and I feel like it's really a generational. I do think Gen X is like, no, fuck this. I'm not going through it like this. Right? What does it mean? were 30 at age 10, and we're still 30 at age 50?

I feel like.

Yeah, I feel totally. like, look, dude, I look in the mirror and I'm like, like, that's not who I am. I look like that. What? it's so sad. So disappointing. I, yes, I feel like Gen Xers are kind of the first generation to just say, you know, we're not doing that anymore. You know, like, I feel like we're

Yeah.

I'll speak for myself and my friends. know, we've we're the first generation that's kind of like been in therapy for a long period of time, you know, and we're like trying to

Yeah. When you're boomeranged by boomers, you kind of have to do that.

Oh my God, oh yeah, therapy, what is that? Like they don't, like please, they don't have time. We can't afford it, we don't have time. they don't. But me, thankfully, I found therapy like kind of right after college and I've been basically in and out, mostly in since then. I don't know how people do life without it for me. And I feel like we're kind of actively working on breaking generational trauma as we raise our own kids. Like I'm trying to be very conscious and like,

Bye.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yes.

not pass down whatever toxic things were coming my way.

It's hard. It's hard because you want to become like your mom in some ways. Sometimes I'm yelling at them and I'm like, I sound just like my mom.

I know. I mean, look.

100%, oh no, it's not perfect at all. Like my daughter will be talking about me in therapy someday, okay? Like, but hopefully just different issues, like.

There we go.

My mom is garbage mom, okay, so just imagine what

She'll be like, I had to grow up with a mom talking about perimenopause on the internet. It was awful. Yeah, it'll be, who knows? But yeah, we're like, fuck it. We're not, I don't know, my friends that are Gen X are just like, yeah, we talk about it now. And we want to support each other through it. Because it can be really.

Yeah.

Right. That community is important.

scary and I feel like the thing, well, you hear about it probably a lot, but I feel like even on the internet, we don't talk about how scary it can feel.

yeah, yeah for sure. Well what were you what do think your first symptoms were?

You know what? Honestly, my first symptom was more anxiety.

Yes, I was going to say, I was going bet on that because I think people, that's the mental health concerns are we're seeing now more and more frequently are the first signs of period menopause. And so yeah, more and more we're seeing that. And I think if you were predisposed to it in postpartum or any other areas of time, but nine times out of 10, that's what I see in my office. Anxiety, I can't fly all of a sudden. I can't drive. I don't feel good about this. I'm ruminating in the middle of the night, you know, like the same thing.

Really?

My God, that's like 100%. That's so interesting. See, I didn't even realize you talked about whatever's happening in pregnancy. I had a real, a lot of postpartum anxiety and rumination, I think, because I had trouble breastfeeding and that became my obsession in a weird way where I was like, and I was like, I'm a terrible mother, I'm a failure as a woman. mean, all these wild things that now I go,

Yeah. Deal.

Yes. Yeah, you're right.

You needed some help. That's reality. You're a great mom. If you can't breastfeed, feed them. But yeah, it was my anxiety. it actually took, I've always struggled with anxiety, always, always. But it took my husband, he finally sat me down and was like, I love you. Something's going on. Something's going on. I'm worried about you.

Right. That's not, yeah. Exactly.

Let's have an intervention. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, that's good. Yeah, no, that's good that he, you know, I think when, your spouses are in tune with it, it's very helpful because then sometimes you don't even know you're going through it by yourself. And really it's, you know, it affects everyone around you too. Cause I feel like women kind of the fort together. They're like bringing it all in, holding it together. So.

Totally and we're really good. Well, I feel like I'm really good at like masking, you know, cuz like what's the alternative? You're too anxious. So you don't show up for softball practice or to your job. No, you go everywhere you do everything the how you have to So, let me just put like I'll take care of it and then But then where do you go with that? Like it is

Yes.

Yeah. Yeah. You have to,

Right? You know, you're not sleeping and then you're not doing all the things. Yeah. So.

or I'm like snapping at my husband or I'm like quietly rocking in the corner, you know? You know? Like, hey, something's going on.

Yeah.

I mean, how do you think it's affected like, you know, like, mean, I think about like,

the entertainment industry and like actors and dancers and singers. Obviously, I became a doctor and it was hard, but sometimes I look at that aspect and think how hard that is. That's really hard. I think that I've had to do a couple of things where I had to memorize segments or I had to replay. I was doing some videos for whatever, different apps or whatever. And you have all the people come in and it's like you have to keep recording until it gets it right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

become long and you're like dang like this this 30 minute segment just came became 10 hours like out of nowhere

And that's

I mean for sure it's let's be clear. We're not doing what you do. Okay, we're not like helping not saving lives Okay, but no at all. So you it's I'm sure you're fine, but I Think I think the part that doesn't that is hard for like when you're so you're going through premenopause or postpartum is

Yeah.

Bye.

This career that I've chosen is so unstable. There's no stability. Even like people that are A-listers are like, you're literally like only as good as your last job. And when is your next job to keep your health insurance coming to whatever pay all the people you have and whatever.

Yeah. Right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Right.

Yeah.

I mean, I don't even know about my auditions until the night before, you know? And so it's hard to even set a regular schedule, which is really good if you're struggling with anxiety is to have like regular, you know, or a normal life.

for. Yeah.

I was just looking at, there was some feed about the guy that used to play Elvin on the Cosby show. What's he saying? God, I'm forgetting this. He perimenopausal that again. But you know, now he's got in the pit. Now he's got a role in the pit. Like, and like 10 years ago, was on, it was at Trader Joe's, like, putting gross. Yeah.

Yum.

I mean, I know what you're talking about.

Oh absolutely. Oh absolutely. mean I...

I've seen, yes, it's, also in our industry right now, not to be a downer, but it's crashing and burning at this moment with everything from the strikes that happened to the mergers with these studios and AI. Nothing is filming in Los Angeles anymore. And so even my, heavy hitters of my friends that have hit that work all the time are not working. So, but add that to like going through period metapause while my whole industry is crashing. So I will say, I'm very glad I found.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

content creation, because I do feel like that is something I have at least some control over, know? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. Yeah, no, that's so true. And I think, you know, people don't recognize the impact. I don't know if you watch Scrubs, but it was like the show that got me through residency and med school and everything. And so

Yes.

There was an episode last night where Carla was going through perimenomal and she you should watch it my god, it was so compelling because she was like, I'm just not the same I can't I can't do what I used to do and she like she was having a hot flash and they like put her on fire Yesterday it was yesterday. It was really good

Awesome.

my god, I love-

Okay, I am gonna watch it. You know what's so, this is so like LA. I took a baby, prenatal yoga class with that actress one time. Yeah, she, I guess her and I were pregnant at the same time, but she's so funny.

the one that plays Harlem.

she's awesome. Yeah. But yeah, she's going through a medical loss and she was having trouble. And so then like JD decided to reduce the number of patients that she sees. And then initially she was really pissed off. And then she was like, thank you, because it is too much for me right now. And yeah, but you don't realize recognize the toll that it has.

Yeah.

That's the thing I feel like, well actually there's another show that your friends and neighbors is on there. I mean, even if I wasn't working with them, they have a full perimenopause storyline. goes through the whole season apparently. And they talk about it and it's been so powerful, just for me like.

yeah, I saw your post yesterday.

Okay.

I don't know, I almost got weepy, which is so weird, which is also perimenopause, like weeping. But like seeing women talk about this as their real storyline, like we're not, we're still so behind. We're not seeing it nearly as much as we really, I feel like should. Hopefully in the next five years that'll change. I'd love to see a whole show just about women my age and older.

Yeah.

Yes.

that look like me and that are diverse going through what we're going through, you know, because there's an audience for it, I think.

Right. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we had it when we were growing up, the golden girls.

Did you done got- Nude.

We need a Golden Girls reboot. But let's not call it the Golden Girls. Let's call it like, I don't know, the Spice Girls.

A modern, modern golden girls, 100%. By the way, they were like, a few of them were like, I'm in my late 40s, were like in their early 40s. It's crazy.

know. I know. When you look at their faces, their faces look good. They just had the hairstyles of like older women back then, you know.

No, that's true. And also they weren't doing all the things everyone, I haven't done shit to my face, but lots of people do, but they on TV do. So they, they hadn't done all that stuff. They look like natural, normal, you know.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So it's just funny because like, I do this talk about, you know, like, menopausal stuff. And I always put up the meme, like, we're JLo, this is JLo at age 50. And this is Rose. What's her name? The one that was always Deborah. What's her first name? Blanche Blanche. Yeah, this is Blanche at age 50. And this is JLo at age 50.

Yeah.

yes yes yes yes yes yeah that's so funny.

mean, that's crazy.

Right? But it's true. It's like it's like reclaiming, know, your, I don't know, it's like not going down like that. You know, it's like people are just like, I'm not gonna just be put on the side anymore. And whatever.

mean, jail them,

Absolutely, like I've been finding myself following, because I'm in my late 40s, as I'm inching closer to being 50, like looking at these, I don't know how I got on this algorithm, I'm so glad that I am, but of these women that are over 50, 50s and 60s that are like badass, like the way they dress, their hair like crazy amazing, they've embraced their gray or whatever, and they're so like,

Yeah.

Yes.

Yeah.

loud and strong and like they're not going away and I don't know being Gen X you know I don't know my idea of what like 50 would be you always think it's like some grandma or something you know and then I have to remind myself fucking JLo is what she's like 55 okay I need to change that in my own brain you know because I am not going away you know like

No, I don't know. It's so true.

15. Yeah, exactly. She'll look her. Right. Right.

And it will work out.

Yeah, and the truth is, I feel like in a lot of non-Western societies, the aging population is looked at differently. Like, they are adored. They are rock stars. In Japan, like, the generations ahead are like rock stars. In some cultures, like, you're the matriarch of your family when you hit menopause. And, like, you make all the decisions, you know? Like, and so I feel like because we're so individualistic and we're so, I don't know, you know, we don't consider the collective of the people.

why we have so many of our family members and women in nursing homes that don't get... So I just feel like it's the way we look at aging people in America. And I think it's changing though. It's totally changing. People don't want to be the people that can't think and they pee on themselves and they can't move. It's like the nursing home prevention program.

I knew that. Do you think there, I think that, I hope it's changing. Cause I, you know, I had to see my, my mom go, I had to like put, she had to go to different skilled nursing facilities for her because of her condition. then, and I, all of my care. And I realized, you know, we in America, we don't, we don't at the time, that was like nine years ago.

That's right. Yeah. Of you need full time care one way or another,

care about our elders. We just don't. Like, if you're not crazy rich, good luck to you if you get sick kind of a thing, you know? Or if you don't have family.

Thank

Yeah, yeah, because those facilities are expensive too. They're like six thousand, seven thousand dollars a month.

the ones out here were like eight to 15,000 a month. Yeah, yeah, it's nuts. Or what if you're old and you don't have a family? Take care of you. But I hope that's changing. But I wonder, and I wonder what you think. Do you think our ideals of what

Yeah, I was thinking of the low end, but yeah.

Yeah.

like we should look like and how we should be acting as women as we get older are changing or do you think with the introduction of like Ozempic again and all this plastic surgery and all of that? I don't know.

I know. Yeah, you're right. Actually, it's not because like people it is it is kind of like heroin chic again, you know. And so I mean, I think legitimately the you know, the medications are phenomenal for so many reasons for so many people who, know, really need the additional support. But obviously, there are people that, you know, maybe aren't using it appropriately.

Yeah, it is.

But I do think that midlife woman, when she gets that midsection visceral fat, know, oftentimes try everything in the world and nothing really gets them over the hump of, you know.

Yeah.

And that is a dangerous fat. That's an inflammatory fat. That is sort of like what we think of the precursors to diabetes and heart disease and all these things. So you're thinking about your cardiovascular health and profile. I think it is something that has to be addressed to some capacity because heart disease is still the number one killer in women. So we have to really work for that.

Okay.

Yeah, yeah. I think I, maybe because I live in LA, I just, I'm seeing so many people like that don't need it, that are like microdiving, know, like off like all track, know?

Yeah.

Yes. Yeah. No, they're going to Chicago too. It's like pretty common. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. But I don't know. And also, I feel like the plastic surgery is become so normalized, which I and look, I'm like, do you do you? Whatever makes you happy. But I almost feel like I'm like rebelling as a woman who hasn't done. I mean, I've got no talks in the I don't have any now. I've gotten it in the past.

You do your work. Yeah.

Yeah.

If I got some now, it would look crazy, because like, I'm way past Botox. know, I like... Never told you those things? Okay, okay girl!

No, I agree with you and I have a friend who's a plastic surgeon in Orange County actually and she tells me though that she has young 20-something-year-olds that want to look like they're filters. So it's kind of like...

yeah.

God.

to some degree it's like, you're not accepting. I mean, and think about it, like we didn't, grew up with one picture a year at the school or whatever. And, know, if you'd have to like get them Polaroid or, know, I have to go pick them up. These people just look at, I see my kids sometimes and they're like, you know, like dude.

I Well, I grew up in front of mirrors because I was a dancer and no, it led to a full eating disorder. Like I have like 20, I think like 23 years or something recovery from it, but it was, and so I think I get worried about that for our young.

Right.

Of course, of course.

kids coming up, know, because like, I'm sick of looking at myself all goddamn day while I'm working shooting on that, you know, I can't imagine growing up as a team with. Yeah. I did ballet, jazz and tap and then ended up working professionally in musicals. So tapping and dancing and musicals.

I'm hungry, it?

Yeah, yeah. No. Growing up to this. I agree. And what kind of dances did do, by the way?

wow. I wonder, because I have a lot of dancers I take care of with pelvic floor issues and like you know all the things and so I always wonder like because of the way you have to you know keep your posture and how you know and then on top of that with the anxiety and the clenching of the jaw and the clenching of the pelvis people get like a lot of pelvic floor dysfunction because of it right sexual pain.

Okay.

you

bowel, bladder dysfunction, they get all the things. And so I've always like, whenever, whenever that's part of what I do in my assessment is try to understand where they came from in terms of athleticism. Cause I, you know, there's a lot of ex athletes, a lot of ex dancers that have some of these current issues that we see. Interesting.

Yes.

My God, that's fascinating. I've never had a doctor bring that up to me when I've talked about any kind of perimenopause or like, you know, anything. that's either you're, you're a good doctor, you're showing off over there. that's, yeah, your patients are lucky. Yeah.

Well,

Well, think that like, you know, the awareness that you're bringing

We did something cool together with Hello, what is it Perry the Perry community remember when we you and Shannon Chavez actually who I interviewed her as well on my podcast the wonderful song therapist. Yeah, and and so I you know, whatever you want to talk about with regard to this but don't you find that midlife has been a real crazy experience for your like sexual function and relationships and all the things right like it's

Yes.

Amazing!

Girl. Girl.

I know because you write a lot of good content about it. That's the best content, you think?

I mean.

Yeah, mean, look, find any time I am very honest is what it resonates with. And that's scary too. Like for me, I it can be scary to be really vulnerable and put yourself out there like that. Like, cause I'm like, oh my God, everyone's going to think whatever, whatever. But then I, someone who watches, when I see someone really be honest, I'm so...

Yeah.

Yeah.

relieved and grateful because I, you it is really, you feel like you're alone or like I suddenly had like no sex drive. I was like, okay, just no, I don't never have to be touched again. let's wrap it up. We did it, you know? And that's not okay. It's not what I want, you know, it's not okay, you know? And so,

I'm.

Yeah, let's just call it that. You're a great roommate, we're roommates.

Yeah.

I've tried testosterone and also like just the vaginal estrogen on top of I take, have the patch and progesterone. I think the vaginal estrogen is what kind of has helped. And then also just talking about it, like we really, we talk about it and in couples, we're in couples therapy, you know? And yeah, but again, no one prepared me for that. know, no no one prepared me for like, you're just going to feel like a stranger in your body.

That's good.

No.

Totally. totally. Yeah. And it's I think I think it's even learning the words I had a patient tell me the other day because I you know I'm always worried AI and chat GPT and like, you know, the biases that are inherent in some of these systems that are getting thrown out there, but it was so interesting because she told me that like using her, you know chat box.

You know?

gave her language that she never learned knew how to speak to like so she came in with all these things and she was like I just never knew the right language and so it was like really this and I think you know this person has to be a little neurodivergent so I think it gave her language that she couldn't otherwise communicate so maybe think like are people if they use it this way would it help and enhance their you know experience with their clinician and I think it probably could but I think it's interesting because

Thanks for listening.

this normalization that we're doing online and I think, know, the discussions around it, I think really have been transformative for patients. Like, you know, even when you did the whole incontinence spiel and you got all the responses, because everyone was like, yeah, me too,

Yeah, my god, I wasn't lying when I said, my god, we were at Muir Woods, which is this famous redwood forest in San Francisco, it's like a gorgeous tourist, and out of, and I laughed and literally peed my pants, like, I, I,

Yeah. Love it,

I'm surprised it took me this long to figure it because I can't jump worth a damn.

yeah. no. mean, there was no warning that like it just happened. I was like, my God. And then, so yeah, I mean, I'm sharing about that online is I really had to like suck it up and go, okay, I'm going to put this out there. then so many women were like, my God, yes, I can't, like you said, go to trampoline or like whatever, you And then there are solutions for that. There's, there's actual things you could do to help that and, and products and all that. So yeah.

Yeah.

helping dogs or anything.

Right.

Right. Yeah. Yeah. Awesome. Okay. So one of the other things that you talk about and I want, so I want to get your update because you did this whole spiel where you're like, there's going to be a perimenopelousa, what if we don't perimenopelousa or something like that. Tell me about how you came up with that and where we're at. Is there going to be a perimenopelousa?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, okay, we're working on it. We're working on it for hopefully 27, because you have to build these things, you know? And we're in the funding, we're actually in the funding stage right now. And I met with...

Yeah.

I mean it was a joke initially, right?

Okay, so I made this thing, literally I was lying in bed and like looking, watching some show and I was like, yeah, I have this idea. like, this would be, my God, this would be my dream. I just put all my, like my favorite dream artists that I feel like were from the 90s, that women now.

Yeah. Yeah.

The music that we came of age to, and now as we're coming of age in a different way in perimenopause, that music for me at least, it resonates in the same way it did when I was a teenager coming up with that music. Like Alanis.

Yes.

I'm going miss.

Yeah, yeah. Isn't it interesting how music can really bring you people together and it's so compelling the effect of music on people.

100 % and hearing what their like their lyrics resonate in a different way. The strength of these women, it's an all female lineup, except at the end, I did put Rage Against the Machine. They'll never come and do it. Maybe Tom Morello might come because he his mom's in menopause like and he's he's honestly, it would be the most punk rock thing they could do would be to come play this show. But but and I put all my dream artists, female artists and like booths we can have there and like

now.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

You know, and then I put it up online and it went crazy viral. Like Alanis commented, Tracy Bonham, a huge. no, let me. I had an out of body experience. Okay. Like she was my, I've been in a relationship with Alanis Morissette for 30 years, one sided. Okay. And then for her, but, but before that.

which is like, I was like, whoa, I'm dead here. can't believe she got me.

She had been following me before that post. I remember the day was on that trip in San Francisco and I was getting coffee with my daughter and my husband and I was looking at my Instagram and it said, Alana Smorzette followed you and I said, I need to go. I said to my husband and daughter, like, I'm going over there for 20 minutes. I need to just be alone for 20 minutes. And he goes, what happened? I go.

amazing

I would have passed it off.

Aless Morissette just followed me and he goes, okay, just go over there. It's okay. Got it. He got it. Cause he knows me. Like, so if I mean, I still have chills thinking about it, but I think what the reason why she followed me, I think is because I was making some perimenopause content and in her show, I went to her stage show last year in Vegas. had a residency and she

I'm just gonna... I'm late.

talked about perimenopause. And when she did, the roof blew off the house. Like, the women went crazy. And I, again, I was like, if we have this festival, the women will come and they will go, they will go crazy, you know, over these, like if we, I wanted to just be this punk rock. Yeah. So anyways, we're actually working out a net with all these like,

Bye bye, son.

Love it.

people from the industry started reaching out and brands have been reaching out and we have an attorney and we're getting funding now. I've met with, I've personally met with, are you kidding? No, you have to be, the goal is that we have a little place where you can come like a stage so you can do your podcast if you want.

You have to invite me, okay? I wanna be...

Yes.

or can make content there, or you could, we can have a little talk with you, like, cause we want to have, we want to have industry experts come as well, like doctors. We want it to be helpful and informative as well.

I'll get the menopause group that, you know, we'll get together. That's awesome.

Yes, yes. But yeah, and then I've had a couple of the people that are on the poster reach out to me and I can't, the tween in me is like throwing up, like from excitement. Okay, so anyways, that's kind of where we're at right now, but trust me, as soon as we can announce like whatever I'm gonna, I'll be making a million posts about it, so.

I know.

Yeah.

was awesome. Yeah, because I mean, you just think about the impact that musicians have on people's lives. Like when Prince died or George, I remember the day George Michael died, I was so depressed. I was like, my God, Yes. He died on Christmas, do remember that?

my god.

Yeah, I remember the day, you know, I have obviously mixed feelings about him, but Michael Jackson died. I was working and someone in the street ran by and like, Michael Jackson died! Like just screamed. And I remember where I was when I found out that he had done.

I know.

We see.

Yeah, yeah.

I do too. I can see myself in the office like it was June 2009 like I totally remember.

Yeah, that's so crazy. Yeah. Kind of like, yeah, yeah.

I mean, he made Thriller.

I mean, look, thriller is embedded in our memories forever. Yeah. Yeah.

Right, right. and there the new movie's coming out apparently the Michael Jackson movie his nephew is playing him

really? I guess I've-

I just saw something on it in Good Morning America history. Yeah, Jermaine's son, Jermaine Jackson's son.

His nephew is playing him. My God, that's wild.

I mean, they're talented, so I'm sure the kid will be good, you know?

He said that he learned these dances in such a way to the point where his feet would bleed from so much. He wanted to be just for it.

Yeah, I... Yeah.

that that would be an impossible role to play. It would be so hard.

I know, I know. And then apparently his grandma said at one point when she saw some clips, like she couldn't tell the difference between him and Michael. So it must be pretty good. Mom's a pan. Yeah.

Crazy. Well, I've always been a Janet fan from day one. Like, my god, like she is, my god, no, she's my dream. Like that, like we're trying to dream big, so I'm like, we could put an offer to her, but I mean, I don't know what she-

Yeah, me too. Love you on the lineup.

Right. Yeah. Let's drink it. Let's put it up here. Let's put it out in the atmosphere.

Literally, let's do it. Like she, my God, she, and she had twins at 50.

This is crazy, right? I know.

That's insane. I can't imagine. can't imagine. And looking at the way she looks. Talk about J.Lo. mean, look at Janet. She looks insane.

Mm-mm. I love to hear that.

Do you Jackson? know. I know. Jackson, if you're an SGA. Okay. Tell me, I know we're about to wrap up because I have a thing at three to two, but do you feel like you were in the system and trying to get help? Have you felt like the medical gas lighting thing that happens to so many women? Because this is something that I like to talk about and like to raise awareness to other clinicians about.

And so like, you know, getting seen and getting told that this is all in your head or, you not getting the correct diagnoses. Did that happen to you when you started?

Yes, yes. And actually it happened in a kind of a different way. I started, this is actually interesting, I started around the same time I started perimetopause, maybe a year or two before, needing iron infusions every year because my ferritin was dropping and I was getting horrible restless leg syndrome, like debilitating.

Yeah.

And by the way, no doctor could put two and two together. I had to find out, it's my ferritin. That's probably the issue. I had to ask specifically, will you test my ferritin? They were like, hmm. They go,

wow.

get to that more clearly.

How are your hair? People lose a lot of hair with their ferrets going down too.

Okay, I was getting heart palpitations. I was almost passing out when I was standing up. was having trouble, yeah, trouble breathing. I was pale as a ghost and the doctor was like, yeah, well, as long as you keep getting your period, you're gonna need these iron infusions. And I was like, this is like a Los Angeles train, like high.

Yeah.

you have all the...

Yeah.

well-regarding doctor and I was like okay so for like three years I got iron infusions every year it wasn't until I saw a GI doctor and told him about yeah I get these iron infusions and he was like let's get an endoscopy long story short I had celiac disease girl doctor I I had

Celiac, I was gonna say, Celiac, Yeah.

My ferretin was dropping year after year after year, iron infusions, and he just told me it's because of my period.

my God, see, you're someone that has a legitimate, you can't have the gluten. The gluten is dangerous for you.

Well, and this was, I was diagnosed a year ago and I cannot tell you how much better I feel now. And I had my iron just checked like a month ago. It hasn't dropped at all. Like my body is able to absorb nutrients now, you know? I can hold on to the actual nutrients that I eat. So, cause my body is healing itself, but yeah, this note, the doctor was like, too period.

I

3, 2,

Yeah, yeah.

That's a lot frustrating. I'm like, what's going on in LA? They didn't even put all that together. it's interesting. I do have a common sense.

I mean, I should have called you. Listen, would have said no to you. I'm calling you from now on. would say the ferretin is something I feel like people don't talk about, like, period.

Yeah, I agree with you. But it's one of the things that we standardly are encouraging people to check now, especially in this transition. Because a lot of times people will do the CBC where they're looking at your hemoglobin hematocrit, not realizing that it can still be effective.

Yeah, it was a huge, yeah. So anyways, I always tell, now I'm telling women check your serotonin. I tell them that and I tell them freeze your eggs. I tell young ladies when I see, I'm the crazy lady that if I meet like a young girl and I'm like, what? I'm just looking at it as freeze your eggs, freeze your eggs. And they're like,

Check the fourth one, yeah.

Thank

We didn't have that growing up. can do it. I would have frozen. You know, when I was a resident, had a, I think it was from Italy. had, we had a grand rounds. remember hearing about this new egg freezing that was coming up on the pipeline. You know, as a resident, was like, what 24, 25, something like that. And I was like, oh man, this is great. Cause I hadn't met my husband by then. And you know, a lot of people had already been.

Dude,

married and I was like, man, I don't know when I'm going to have a baby. I wish I could freeze my eggs. I remember asking him, he's like, yeah, but like you might not get a live birth yet. So, you know, just hang on. And so it wasn't something that was one of the options at that time, you know, which is, but now I encourage it. have, you know, great REI doctors that I work with. And I'm just like, go down the street and get it done. And a lot of the companies are now encouraging it, right? Like Google, some of these other companies are paying for it.

Just.

Are you serious?

Yeah, because they don't want their employees to get pregnant. Some of those have come, but they're not worrying for me anymore.

That is so true! Do it later! Later! We don't want you to be a mother!

Exactly. Well, I mean, thank God though. Yeah, it wasn't it wasn't until about a year ago that my insurance sag after insurance. they had to do IVF coverage. So because I did I had secondary infertility. We never had we only have one kid. And when I was doing it, I had to pay out of pocket. And as you know, how expensive all of that is like, that's why we stopped because we tried a couple and we're like, we can't like go broke doing it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's so expensive, yeah.

Keep going like that. Yeah,

You know, but thankfully now, you know, insurance companies are becoming, you know, they're, making it mandatory that they have to cover at least some of it. So yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, this isn't so much fun, but garbage mom.

No, I would have brought to you. I should have brought my list of my own medical concerns and taken advantage of this hour.

You can text me offline. I'll send you my number. Seriously, but this has been fun. love your content. love being like, mean, truly like, you know, when it comes to people, when we do our job and we come home, like my husband always jokes that the TV is his best friend because that's what helps him escape and like, you know, decompresses.

Girl, you're gonna regret it. I'm about to be texting you. Okay.

So like the work that is done in Hollywood and the industry, it's, you know, it's transformative too. You know, like people really do look to escape. They look to feel better. They look to, you know, all the things through entertainment. So entertainment is an important aspect of our existence, I would say.

Thank you. I mean, again, thank you so much. We're not doing what you do, but it is fun to go escape for a minute. You know, I have been escaping myself with so many shows.

Yeah.

Listen, I love going to comedy show like that's the one thing I always go out for if I have a good comedian coming through and wonder that comedy show us we do like we go to one month one a month at least you know so like

Wait, but do you ever go to... I met my husband at Second City. Do you ever go to Second City? Chicago. Yeah, I did show there and yeah, you're gonna find all...

Yeah, yes, I wasn't this is it. Yeah, yeah. You should start. What is it calling? Go on tour.

I'm listen it's still my my grim I want to do a stage show about midlife and perimenopause like a comedy show and like singing stuff so trust me it's on my to-do list of millions. I want to. Yeah. Yeah, Second City whenever you want to escape.

Yeah. 100%. Yes, yes. Yeah.

Oh, I can't wait. I can't wait to be in my Chicago. And I'll have you at my office. Yeah. Let's put it into existence. We're gonna put it into existence. The garbage mom comedy show slash Yeah, the garbage.

Well, we're doing Peri Manapazza Palooza. Yeah. we want to have comedians at Peri Manapazza Palooza too. like, that's the dream. That's the goal.

Yes. Awesome. I can't wait. I can't wait for this to happen. You heard it. You're first everyone. No, not first, but maybe second. Okay. Anyway, this is fun. But I'll email you though you can you can ask me your questions offline.

I know, Yes.

Thank you so much and thank you for everything you do. Your podcast is amazing. The fact the work you're doing it is so important and I do have women all the time that are like, where do I go? Who do I talk to? so I, if you don't mind me passing your info along. Okay. All right.

Thank you so much.

Yeah, please. I love it. Yeah. All right. Thanks so much. Well, this has been fun. Thanks everyone for listening to Gyno Girl Presents Sex, Drugs, and Hormones. I'm Dr. Smita Ron, Gyno Girl. Remember, I'm here to educate so you can advocate for yourself. Join me next week. Oh, whoops. Did I shut it on? Oh, stop. Sorry.