But if you’ve ever thought, “Once I hit $10K months, I’ll feel more relaxed,” or “Once my calendar is fully booked, I’ll feel secure,” you probably already know—that moment never really comes.
Today, we’re breaking down the three biggest mistakes ambitious women make when they try to slow down—because slowing down isn’t just about doing less.
By the end of the episode you’ll know:
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This podcast explores the intersection of sales, money, and business success, offering entrepreneurial insights on overcoming the inner critic, burnout, and the unique challenges of ADHD and autoimmune conditions, while integrating polyvagal theory, Ayurveda, coaching, resilience, regulation, and trauma healing to support holistic growth and thriving in both life and business.
188: 3 biggest mistakes
ambitious women make when
trying to slow down & how it
creates nervous system burnout
[:cost? Maybe you struggle to get to sleep at night or you end the day
feeling like you still have a thousand things to do and everyone around
you is telling you, Oh, babe, have you thought about like taking a break
or slowing down?
Here's the thing, recovering from burnout, reconnecting back to your
values and your passion and building a business that's sustainable and
easeful, where you get to go and have a whole life a part of it. It's not
about slowing down. That's not going to work today. I'm going to look at
three really common mistakes and ambitious women make when they
try to slow down from a nervous system perspective.
ng to cover how to work with [:body that you want to do everything. And you know that you can instead
of against it. And by the end of the episode, you'll have a very practical
tool that you can use today to bring more ease into your work day. And
Maintain your drive, but also start to feel softer in your relationships or
your social circle or your health.
If you don't have time to listen to the end of the episode, here's mistakes
one, two, and three. And then I will explain them one by one. If you stick
around to the end, you will find a.
Short 60 seconds snippet on what to do when it feels like you're pushing
and why that is actually maybe your growing space
as well as an invitation to the academy. Where we go beyond traditional
advice, like just slow down and actually reorient your nervous system.
you can scale your business, [:more money, leave with purpose and confidence without burning out. So
mistakes, one, two, and three.
Number one, thinking that working harder will make you feel safer.
Thinking that if you take all the things off of your to do list, it will make
you achieve some deep sense of safety and everything's under control.
Number two, thinking that you just need to be more disciplined. This one
is not going to work, especially if you are neurodivergent, but people will
tell you that it will.
Mistake number three, trying to think and analyze and plan. Um, and I'm
going to be talking about how you can get out of your overwhelm. Now,
let's go through them all a little bit deeper and say number one thinking
that working harder will make you feel safer. One of the biggest lies that
we have been conditioned into as individuals is that if we work harder,
finish the to do list, like figure it out, get things done, we'll actually reach
that space where we can breathe.
;ve ever thought [:more relaxed. Or once my calendar is fully booked, I'll feel secure.
Or if I could just figure out the perfect way to make sure that I get
everything done every day that I need to do, then it'll be easier to sleep
at night. That moment never comes. And that's because finding ease
and sustainable success, it's not about getting it all done or getting the
right things done.
It's actually about the way that your body processes and understands.
Pressure, responsibility, and stress. So, if when you were a kid, like so
many of us, you were told that you were a really good girl, and you did a
really good job when you completed all of your assessments, and you
got your homework planned in, and you went and you did things that
were really productive, And then you were rewarded for that, right, with
[:really dangerous, particularly if maybe you come from a background like
me where there's financial trauma and you actually kind of just had to
like figure things out and get stuff done to avoid really big pain, or maybe
you're just running from your feelings.
That's a different podcast episode, but on some level your body is
perceiving that getting things done will keep you safe And slowing down
will feel dangerous not because you need to keep working because
there's something that actually is urgent, but because your body
associates rest with losing momentum Missing opportunities, falling
behind, and danger.
This is why when you force yourself to relax, or when you're already in
that overdrive, it just never works. You never get that deep sense of
nourishment. In fact, that [:nourished. You may not even know what I'm referring to when I say that.
Because your brain, even if you're sitting and you're relaxing, you took
the time off, is still scanning for threats.
And your body is still flooded with stress hormones. So what do we do
instead? Instead of forcing yourself to slow down, focus on creating what
we call embodied safety. While both working and doing less, your
nervous system needs proof that you can pause without losing
everything that you've worked for.
It needs proof that it's safe to feel that deep nourishment. And it may
even need support in learning how to create embodied safety in the
body. That's something that most nervous systems need because we
live in a world where we haven't quite learned it. At the Academy, one of
the very first things you learn is creating that sense of embodied safety
then you get to decide what [:doing less looks like in different seasons of your life, but you're still
feeling that deep sense of nourishment so that you're calm.
Instead of chaotic. Mistake number two, thinking you just need more
discipline. Okay, so raise your hand if you have ever told yourself, I just
need to like, be more disciplined, just get up in the morning and do the
thing. Yeah, I actually like, I, I I literally follow a coach on Instagram and
she's like the discipline coach and sometimes I, I think she's great and
sometimes I feel like, Oh, maybe I need discipline and I'm like, no, sorry,
I didn't, you, you literally know that that is not the case.
Here's the thing, the most successful people you see, the ones who
seem to show up effortlessly every day and do everything with ease and
they're like achieving all of your goals and you really admire them and
they, you know, they stick to their schedules without overthinking. They
are not more disciplined with you.
k with their nervous system. [:And most of them don't even realize that they've done it because
discipline is not about willpower. It's not even about habits sometimes.
Maybe it is, but. It's actually about the state that your body is in. If you
are constantly jumping in between motivation and burnout, it's not
because you are inconsistent.
It's because your nervous system hasn't learned how to sustain energy
in a way that actually works for you, and you haven't learned how to
align the tasks that you want to do with your nervous system's energy.
So, instead of trying to force consistency, learn how to understand how
energy moves through your body. regulate it and then orient it. I have a
group program at the moment that we're working with and we're working
with female energy, [:clients recently put inside of the group portal, she's like, number one, my
digestion is so my digestion is so much better.
Yay for that. And number two, I'm figuring out how to use my ovulation
energy. And I'm noticing that I'm getting a lot more done and I'm
sleeping better. That is a win.
So at the Academy, We focus on channeling this energy in sustainable
ways, not giving you a rigid schedule that makes you feel like you have a
nine to five and a boss. We teach you how to create a business flow that
matches your actual energy patterns so that you stop burning out and
start building consistency without force.
Mistake number three, trying to think your way out of overwhelm. Hell,
this is also me. What a surprise. But like, We are thinkers, we are
planners, we are analyzers, we are strategizers, we try to figure things
[:and because it's probably one of our strengths, we need to be careful.
Because if you are in a fight or a flight response or in a type of
particularly those, but any type of dysregulation, it's really easy to
intellectualize your feelings and think about it. I wrote about this inside of
my book, somatic intelligence for success. And whenever somebody
gets to that paragraph, so often they will like send me a screenshot and
be like, I feel really cold out over thinking, thinking about it, planning
about it, thinking about the future, thinking about how you're going to do
it.
It's, it's a stress response. It's your body looping on decisions,
questioning, To avoid feeling something uncomfortable inside your body
will give you thoughts that you need a better plan because your body
either doesn't feel safe enough to feel the feeling that you have inside of
your body or to take action.
This is why trying to [:do list or planning a holiday to Bali or organizing your calendar or
learning a new productivity hack. It really works. If your body is in
survival mode, your brain will keep spinning in circles. So what do we do
instead? Instead of trying to think your way out of it, I would feel it.
So literally just feel it. What is inside of your body right now? Take a
deep breath in
and then just exhale with me.
Okay, now what sensation is in your body? You don't have to stop
anything that you're doing, but what is here? Ah, I, I notice anticipation. I,
I'm excited. I can feel it in my belly and there's like a little bit of tension
inside of my pelvic floor. So I could just maybe soften that. Take a big
inhale with me.
Let's do it together. And then we're going to purse our lips like we're
exhaling through a straw. Just exhale.
Okay. [:a really big week and I'm feeling a little bit afraid about it. It's soft, but it's
just whispering. They're safe. There's space for it, but I have a little bit of
fear. And so when you learn how to feel those feelings, we teach this
inside of the academy, you don't spend so much time planning.
And you actually begin to notice that things unfold with flow without
being overwhelmed by those feelings. So you can still be and do those
things, but you can say, Oh, well there's like a little bit of anticipation.
There's a little bit of fear. There's a little bit of gratitude and there's space
for it all.
So if you've been thinking and listening and thinking, Oh, well that's me
and that's what I need. Then consider joining the Academy. The
Academy, as I said, we go beyond mindset. We go beyond just business
and [:that is sustainable so that you can scale your business.
Know that what you're doing is making an impact and is purposeful.
Make more money and then lead with confidence out burning out. Doors
are open now. Click the link in the show notes to learn about it and
schedule a call with me to make sure that you are the perfect fit and pick
the tier for you.
Success should not feel like survival mode. It should feel like ease. Join
us in the academy. Okay, and 60 seconds to talk about misalignment
and FOSS.
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