In this video, we will look into Mark Owen's insight on how the pressure to be the best can create unrealistic expectations and lead to feelings of self-doubt and anxiety. Join us on this journey of self-discovery and personal growth, and discover how breaking free from the pressure to be the best can unlock your full potential.

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Well, Hey everybody, Jonathan Doyle with you.

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Friends, we are going to finish up.

Uh, the kind of us Navy seals.

David Goggins week of focus.

If you're only just coming in on this podcast today.

The last few days, I've been riffing on some quotes from former us Navy seal

David Goggins, who I'm a big fan of.

And, uh, um, this last episode in this little sequence, I'm

going to share with you today.

A really interesting little set of quotes from Mark Owen, who

is also a former us Navy seal.

What is my obsession with them?

Why am I not obsessed with, I don't know.

Pottery artists.

Outer Lithuania.

That was random.

Y my Navy seal obsession, because having never been a Navy seal.

I think I have, however, been somebody who's always been

interested in peak performance and.

Our limits and our capacity for limits.

And I think what drives it for me is my father.

Who's been dead for a long time.

You know, he was somebody that really struggled with.

Motivation.

Mental health resilience, uh, physical wellbeing.

And I really saw it take its toll on him.

And it's something that obviously that I grew up with and grew up watching

and, um, you know, so many memories of him being really stuck in life,

you know, and stuck in his health and.

I think that really shaped me.

I think it really did.

I'm very clear about that.

It's um, you know,

And over the years, I've done a lot of work and, and working through that.

But I think it does drive me.

I'm a piece without, I think it's, you know, we're all shaped by our

past by childhood and wanting to leave a little something better.

I think.

You know my own son, I think he looked at me and it'll be the exact opposite.

He'll be like,

Well, I don't do any exercise because my dad did enough for two of us.

I've grown up seeing me like, you know, The number of times I've

come home and then Karen's like, kids know just don't don't talk.

Just give him 10 minutes.

Give him, give him 10 minutes.

When I was running ultra marathons, I used to go out every Sunday and run a marathon.

That's all guy out.

This is only quite recently.

I'd go out on a Sunday morning and run an Olympic marathon as you do.

And when I came back, like it just took a while.

It just took a little while.

Until I felt normal again.

And so they've really seen me, I guess.

Take those things pretty seriously.

And that's kind of why I love the Navy seal stuff because it's sort of men and.

You know, and that have really taken themselves to those limits and

learned about that mental toughness.

So Mark Owens quite so Mark Owen.

As I mentioned from a us Navy seal, I want to give you.

Just a few quick quotes of his to wrap out our, that little sequence here together.

And I like this when he says it's not about being the best.

It's about being your best.

It's not about being the best.

It's about being your best.

You know, People have asked me over the years.

You know, did I ever struggle with anxiety and.

You know, With public speaking.

Right.

Because I think at the moment of recording, even though

COVID put a dent in it,

I'm pretty sure I've done round about.

Just a little under half a million people, sort of 450,000 plus in live events.

Over the last two decades.

And so the bigger crowds I've done a north of sort of 10,000 people in the room.

So.

You know, when you.

If anxiety is an issue, which it has been for me and stage fright, you know?

Cause it's something I struggled with, you know, it was like, yeah, I was able

to speak and I was, I was good at it.

But there were times early in my career when I could be really paralyzed.

And I think it was to do with all sorts of perfectionism, a whole

bunch of other stuff, but what really pushed me through what were really

created the shift, because there was times that it was really hard.

Was this experience I had in, uh, uh, where was I in St.

Louis?

Um, in the states where.

I spoken in event and.

It was such a big crowd, but I, I just knew that I couldn't be anxious anymore.

And my focus shifted.

On really trying to serve the people in the room.

And the minute I really focused on them.

The anxiety disappeared.

And my point is we listened to this quote.

It's not about being the best.

It's about being your best.

What helped me was I realized that it was simply my job to bring

the best that I could for them.

And I didn't need to worry about was I better than anybody else or good enough.

It was just.

While I'm here.

I'm just going to try and serve these people with who I am

the best that I possibly can.

So I like this mark.

I wasn't quite because it's.

It's really good.

It's not about being the best.

We don't have to put that pressure on yourself.

You don't have to put your pressure on yourself to be the best in

anything, the best parent, the best.

Mother father spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, principal, business owner.

You don't have dealers.

You can't.

I mean, how many places in life can you actually be the best at anything?

Right.

Like even in elite sports, The best of the best alternates often from week to week.

So no one really gets to be the best.

We just get to be our best.

Which ties into some of the themes this week, we've discussed around our

human potential and making choices that are congruent to moving us forward.

I I'm going to.

Business mastermind.

I was talking to the guys recently and I said, you know, I quoted

the Scholastic philosopher, the 14th century, John DUNS, SCOTUS.

Now, this is a quote from DUNS, John DUNS, SCOTUS, which has

really impacted me over many years.

And he said every human comparison.

Is essentially diabolical every human comparison.

Is essentially which means in its essence and its nature.

Satanic, basically, it means every way that we compare ourselves to someone else.

Is evil.

Now, some of y'all go, hang on.

This sounds terrible.

We human.

We can't help ourselves.

We do it.

Yes, we do do it, but, but the philosopher's comment was simply that.

Our creation is it is a gift like God creates us.

As a pure gift.

It's radical gift.

And he doesn't want us to be anybody else and he doesn't want us to be the best.

He just wants us to be us.

So John DUNS SCOTUS was saying, if we compare ourselves to others,

we're actually basically telling God that his work wasn't good enough.

And that we'd be happier and better if we were just like X and we

all fall into it, I fall into it.

But the purpose of today's message is to remind us that

we don't need to be the best.

We just need to be our best.

We just need to try and constantly grow.

And how about fail?

We'll have setbacks.

We'll have good days and bad days, but the trajectory, what I'm interested

in your life is your trajectory.

Are you progressively improving?

And the second thing from Mako and here, which we'll wrap up on today, he says

you never know what you're capable of until you push yourself to the limit.

It's been a real theme for me in recent weeks and recent episodes.

I've been talking a lot about identity.

And how do you change your own sense of identity?

Because whatever your sense of identity is, you will live that out.

You will tend to live your sense of identity.

And it's very subtle.

It's often happening to us that we don't even know what's happening.

It's a great quote from Jamie Kern, Lima who started a cosmetics

empire from the floor of her.

Or apartment.

And she said you don't rise to the level of your goals and

dreams you fall or plateau.

To the level of your identity.

Isn't that against?

She said you don't rise to the level of your dreams and goals you full or plateau.

To the level of your identity.

So the work that I've been doing in the reading I've been doing recently is

if you want to shift identity, if you want to change your sense of self and

pillar, what would I want to do that?

Well, put it this way.

If you have the identity that you're always a victim.

All of that.

It's everything in life is your fault.

If your identity is that your boring or unpopular or too

much or too little of anything.

Then you're going to live in congruence with identity.

Humans tend to do that.

We want to live in congruence with who we think we are.

So one of the mechanisms by which you change identity.

Is by putting yourself in situations where you do different things

you didn't think you could do.

Now that brings us back to this market.

I won't quote, you never know what you're capable of.

Until you push yourself to the limit.

And this is one of the things I used to teach a lot about with a Navy seal stuff.

Is that they have these experiences where they constantly put

themselves right at the threshold.

Of what's difficult.

What's extremely difficult.

So there's a documentary.

One of the seal instructors said, he goes, look, these guys

are phenomenal athletes, right?

They come into the seals selection program in absolute peak state.

But he said, if we just want him to break them physically, he said

we could do it on the first day.

No matter how fit they are.

Look, think about it.

Doesn't matter how fit you are.

It doesn't matter if you're the fittest person on the planet.

If somebody says, just do one pushup after another forever,

you just eventually collapsed.

Like, so it's not about just destroying people.

What the seals do is they take people right up to the level of

the, kind of the most extreme level, and then they pull them back.

And so Mark Owen is saying here that you don't find what you're capable

of until you're at that limit.

So, if you want to change identity, you have to choose situations

where you're stretched and tested.

You know, for me as someone who trains a lot, especially with things like cycling.

Cause.

Where I live, it's a really high-level competitive cycling community.

So you're constantly in a situation where you're getting wrecked.

Racing with people that are really strong.

So I get to experience that in that area.

But I think the challenge for all of us is that in other areas of life,

we're really taken to our limits.

Yeah, Karen and I have been really.

You know, really sort of rebuilding our business since COVID like a lot of people

we got really affected by it because we couldn't travel and the education sector

was affected and a whole bunch of things.

And the work that we had been doing, you know, with our team, we've been

building and rebuilding our team here.

And so.

All the training that we're doing with our team and building stuff and changing

staff and, and just the client work and all the different things we're doing.

I'm like, man, this is really hard.

And my daughter, who's got a real business head, you know?

Uh, she's seeing it.

And I said to her, I said, oh, she's got, she had a real entrepreneurial heart.

And I said, you're seeing it right.

You're seeing that if you want to.

Really grow a business, then it is not like the movies.

It's like, you got to really get it done.

You got to take yourself to the limit.

So for Karen and I like our capacity, our capability, our

experience in life is going to be quite affected by this experience.

We're in at the moment, we're really pushing ourselves pretty hard and.

I know some of you probably listening to me, anything, Jonathan is so full on.

Like you're so full on.

I go, yeah, I rest, right.

Like I'm in the studio now, but, um, and when I get out of here,

I'm going to take someone into the, you know, It's Friday

afternoon here in the studio.

It's the first game of the rugby season tonight.

And I'm looking forward to that.

Um, I'm going to cycle with a friends tomorrow.

It's more of a social ride, so I don't get destroyed on it and we're

going to have breakfast together.

So.

I want to tell you the truth.

Yes, I do push myself.

Yes, I do go hard at it, but I also am pretty disciplined

around recovery and rest.

I'd like to be a little better at it.

But, um, I do take that seriously, but so look summary, let's wrap this up.

First quote, it's not about being the best.

It's about being your best.

So let's consciously think about, okay, where are you at in life?

Where are you at in your life or you trip or you traveling towards improvement?

Are you getting a little better?

Are you deliberately trying to get a little better?

And the second part of today's quite was that you don't know what you're capable

of until you push yourself to the limit.

And you got to choose that you got to choose that.

Do hard things, do hard things.

Not every minute of every day, but as often as possible, do some hard things.

And of course, I also quite a Jamie Kern Lima, one more time.

We'll give you that.

She says you don't rise to the level of your goals and dreams.

You fall or plateau to the level of your identity How do you change identity you

change your identity by doing things you didn't think you could do You know how

do you become a surfer Well you become a surfer By being someone who never served

who goes and does surfing a lot and then after you've done surfing you've had

different experiences And you've proved yourself that you could do something you

didn't do before you become a surfer Is there anything in life we do we become

by doing it All right everybody that's a big episode that a lot of stuff in there.

I hope it's useful for you please make sure you've subscribed go check

out those links book coaching with me You can book a What else you can

book me to speak at conferences events training for your staff all of that's

possible i hope it's a blessing to you.

my name's jonathan doyle this has been the daily podcast and you and