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Challenging the Funnel Myth | RR233
Episode 23321st November 2023 • Relationships Rule • Janice Porter
00:00:00 00:31:31

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In this episode, I sit down with the dynamic Cara Steinmann, a relationship-building expert hailing from sunny California. Cara's passion lies in helping women entrepreneurs establish strategic, meaningful connections that go beyond traditional funnels in the business world. Discover why relationships matter more than ever in the digital age and gain insights into Cara's RAD Referrals Roadmap.

Explore the depths of relationship-building with Cara & me, and learn how to transform your approach to connections in the world of service entrepreneurship. Join the Literation Lab and embark on a journey of authentic networking to unlock collaboration, visibility, and, of course, plenty of fun!

You can reach Cara at: carasteinmann.com or https://ravelcollective.com/

Email at: hello@carasteinmann.com

Key Topics and Timestamps:

1. Introduction to Cara Steinmann (00:00 - 02:23)

2. Challenging the Funnel Myth (02:24 - 06:47)

3. The Radical Referrals Roadmap (06:48 - 10:02)

4. Building and Deepening Relationships (10:03 - 13:20)

5. Creating a Purposeful Community (13:21 - 17:44)


A little about me:

I began my career as a teacher, was a corporate trainer for many years, and then found my niche training & supporting business owners, entrepreneurs & sales professionals to network at a world-class level. My passion is working with motivated people, who are coachable and who want to build their businesses through relationship marketing and networking (online & offline). I help my clients create retention strategies, grow through referrals, and create loyal customers by staying connected.


In appreciation for being here, I have a couple of gifts for you.

A LinkedIn Checklist for setting up your fully optimized Profile: https://www.janiceporter.com/linkedin-training.html

An opportunity to test drive the Follow Up system I recommend by sending a FREE greeting card (on me): www.sendacardeverytime.com


Connect with me:

http://JanicePorter.com

https://www.linkedin.com/in/janiceporter/

https://www.facebook.com/JanicePorterBiz

https://twitter.com/janiceporter


Join our Relationships Rule community on FB here:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/relationshipsrule/


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Transcripts

Janice Porter:

Hi, everyone, and welcome to relationships rule.

Janice Porter:

My guest today is coming from sunny California. And I'm very

Janice Porter:

excited to talk to her. Her name is Kara Steinman. And Kara and I

Janice Porter:

were introduced through LinkedIn through a podcast agency. And

Janice Porter:

often I'm not super impressed when that happens, but I got an

Janice Porter:

inkling when I saw what Kara was all about. And I know you're

Janice Porter:

gonna love it because she thinks just the way I do. So first of

Janice Porter:

all, welcome to the show, Kara.

Cara Steinmann:

Thank you. I'm

Janice Porter:

happy to be here. My pleasure. So tell my audience

Janice Porter:

please, what you do what your thing is what you're all about.

Janice Porter:

And they'll know right away that why I said what I said, my

Cara Steinmann:

jam, you want to know my jam. I help women

Cara Steinmann:

entrepreneurs, build relationships, preferably

Cara Steinmann:

professional relationships that make it easier for them to do

Cara Steinmann:

business. So strategic relationships.

Janice Porter:

And how do you do that?

Cara Steinmann:

I do one to one consulting, I help women figure

Cara Steinmann:

out who they are. So they can align with the right people and

Cara Steinmann:

that sort of thing. But I primarily build communities

Cara Steinmann:

online, that help women come together and build really deep

Cara Steinmann:

meaningful relationships that keep them well connected. Yeah.

Janice Porter:

Which is like music to my ears, because one of

Janice Porter:

the things I saw in the information that was sent to me

Janice Porter:

about you was that you believe that funnels are not necessary

Janice Porter:

relationships are that's a different way that you said it.

Janice Porter:

But it is essentially the same thing. And I couldn't agree

Janice Porter:

more. And so, you know, we've been in a in a society lately

Janice Porter:

where everything's online. And so everyone thinks that we have

Janice Porter:

to have these funnels to bring in business. Talk to me about

Janice Porter:

that myth in your eyes.

Cara Steinmann:

Gosh, I think that, that it's really easy to

Cara Steinmann:

feel like we can write some content and put it out there in

Cara Steinmann:

this funnel, and that we won't have to do anything, we won't

Cara Steinmann:

have to actually interact, but our words and our content and

Cara Steinmann:

all of these things, all of these things that we put out,

Cara Steinmann:

there they are. They're reflecting us, and they are

Cara Steinmann:

going to build the relationships that we will eventually probably

Cara Steinmann:

have in person. Yeah. And so so it's not like it's not as

Cara Steinmann:

passive as we would like to think it is. And at one point I

Cara Steinmann:

really liked. I really liked inbound marketing, the idea of

Cara Steinmann:

inbound, because you weren't, it wasn't pushy, it was very

Cara Steinmann:

magnetic. And we could put our stuff out there and just wait

Cara Steinmann:

for people to want us and not have to engage in any way until

Cara Steinmann:

till they got there. But I think that we're at a time when trust

Cara Steinmann:

is so scarce, and people are lonely. And we visibility relies

Cara Steinmann:

on us having allies, it really relies on us having deep

Cara Steinmann:

meaningful connections that somebody wants to promote you

Cara Steinmann:

through. And that requires investing in other people making

Cara Steinmann:

the time to do that requires being invested in other people.

Janice Porter:

And do you notice that and I couldn't agree more?

Janice Porter:

And do you notice that? That they're still that you have to

Janice Porter:

actually teach? Or train certain people that, that in building

Janice Porter:

relationships, you really do need to focus on showing an

Janice Porter:

interest in the other person, I believe that we still have to

Janice Porter:

teach that to some people. Because for different reasons,

Janice Porter:

like either they're nervous, or they're, they're unsure. So they

Janice Porter:

start to talk about themselves, or they don't know what kind of

Janice Porter:

questions to ask whether they're just not comfortable. And with

Janice Porter:

that, with that process, but it does work. Yeah,

Cara Steinmann:

I think you're absolutely right. There's a

Cara Steinmann:

couple of things going on there too. You're probably right about

Cara Steinmann:

the nervousness, people. But there's this business idea in

Cara Steinmann:

business that we have to be busy that we can't talk about

Cara Steinmann:

personal stuff, there's that kind of line that we've drawn,

Cara Steinmann:

and I don't like it. I don't like that line at all. Because

Cara Steinmann:

the people that I want to wreck I work with people I like and in

Cara Steinmann:

order to know someone to get to like them, I have to know more

Cara Steinmann:

about them than just the service they provide.

Janice Porter:

And yes, so I actually when I'm working with

Janice Porter:

LinkedIn clients, building their profile with them, I talk about

Janice Porter:

trying to in not trying but by about infusing some subtle

Janice Porter:

little things into their profile about their, their personal

Janice Porter:

habits are their hobbies or their interests or some things

Janice Porter:

that they do when they're not working. So that I can tell or

Janice Porter:

they can tell if somebody has actually read their profile. If

Janice Porter:

they find that little thing that maybe they're an avid hiker, or

Janice Porter:

they play soccer in their spare time or whatever or they they

Janice Porter:

you know, were a movie buff or whatever it is that maybe

Janice Porter:

someone looking at their profile had connects to a As a starting

Janice Porter:

point to build rapport, those are the best kinds of things to

Janice Porter:

find out. And yet, I will say now you're, you're younger than

Janice Porter:

I am. And your generation tends to put out more personal things

Janice Porter:

on the other platforms as well. I have a hard time doing that.

Janice Porter:

So there's that there is that fine line for me, but I find

Janice Porter:

with LinkedIn, I can make it work. And and people pay

Janice Porter:

attention if they pay attention, it makes for better starting

Janice Porter:

points for relationships, I think.

Cara Steinmann:

Yeah. And I think being true to who you are,

Cara Steinmann:

that you know, you being less comfortable with the really

Cara Steinmann:

personal open stuff in business, that's who you are and how you

Cara Steinmann:

operate. And you're going to be more comfortable working with

Cara Steinmann:

clients who are more aligned with that level of openness. But

Cara Steinmann:

some people and this could be a temperament thing. There's, you

Cara Steinmann:

know, the ocean ocean test personality tests that looks at

Cara Steinmann:

openness, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and

Cara Steinmann:

neuroticism. These four

Janice Porter:

traits know that one, yeah. Okay, ocean, that one

Janice Porter:

that the extra

Cara Steinmann:

the openness trait that might might correlate

Cara Steinmann:

with how people act online. And so open, people are going to

Cara Steinmann:

have an easier time working with other open people. And that's

Cara Steinmann:

not to say you can't work with people who are different than

Cara Steinmann:

you. But understanding that they're different from you, is

Cara Steinmann:

different than like, really, you know, when you meet somebody,

Cara Steinmann:

and you just click, it's usually because you've got something in

Cara Steinmann:

common in that way and the way you operate? Right, right,

Janice Porter:

exactly. So how do you do you do any training

Janice Porter:

with your community? Or do you just allow them to, you know, or

Janice Porter:

do you encourage them getting together? Or do you have events

Janice Porter:

online or in person to, to have people network,

Cara Steinmann:

I built the community, I structured it so

Cara Steinmann:

that we would be in a container that felt very safe. And the

Cara Steinmann:

guidelines explicitly say we are in a, we're in a safe container,

Cara Steinmann:

where we need to be vulnerable if we're going to get to know

Cara Steinmann:

each other. And so I do come right out and say that, but then

Cara Steinmann:

we have connection calls and mastermind calls that are all

Cara Steinmann:

very intimate and comfortable. And, and I really connect, I try

Cara Steinmann:

really hard to connect with each new member, one on one at least

Cara Steinmann:

once to help them get connected with other people who are alike

Cara Steinmann:

to them. So that they start building that network quickly.

Cara Steinmann:

And then we have we have the way that it's structured is

Cara Steinmann:

structured is very casual. And we have very intimate

Cara Steinmann:

conversations in there about things other than work. Ah,

Cara Steinmann:

okay, family, and we have a channel called ADHD all day

Cara Steinmann:

where the neurodivergent people are talking about challenges in

Cara Steinmann:

life and work and family. And then I just launched a purpose

Cara Steinmann:

play shop inside the community, which is a daily prompt to help

Cara Steinmann:

us build emotional intelligence, self awareness and creative

Cara Steinmann:

confidence.

Janice Porter:

Hmm, interesting. Okay. So you have a framework

Janice Porter:

that, and I think that's probably part of what you were

Janice Porter:

just talking about, that you are maybe not that you use to

Janice Porter:

generate referrals? And do you? So do you teach that in your

Janice Porter:

community?

Cara Steinmann:

I do. Yeah,

Janice Porter:

it's a little bit about that.

Cara Steinmann:

Yeah, I call it the radical referrals. roadmap.

Cara Steinmann:

And part of that is because the acronym is read our ad. And part

Cara Steinmann:

of it is because it's kind of a radical concept to prioritize

Cara Steinmann:

relationships in business. That's not where we go with it

Cara Steinmann:

naturally, it's very transactional. But I think it

Cara Steinmann:

works really better if we're relational with it. And so the

Cara Steinmann:

three parts of the framework are R stands for remember, we have

Cara Steinmann:

to remember who we are, especially as women, we've been

Cara Steinmann:

conditioned away from a lot of our natural tendencies. And we,

Cara Steinmann:

we maybe compromise our values to be parents and work in

Cara Steinmann:

certain situations. So we have to remember who we are. So that

Cara Steinmann:

because, and there's a great quote, by Brene, brown, she

Cara Steinmann:

says, our ability to connect with other people is only as

Cara Steinmann:

great as our ability to connect with ourselves. So the next step

Cara Steinmann:

in the framework is to align. So we have to remember who we are.

Cara Steinmann:

And then we can align with the right people. And this is about

Cara Steinmann:

values, a lot of it is about values. And you talk, you talked

Cara Steinmann:

about putting little kind of easter eggs in your LinkedIn

Cara Steinmann:

content, maybe on your website that hint at who you are and

Cara Steinmann:

what you care about. And you can do that really easily with

Cara Steinmann:

language. And I'm sure you do. That's what you do your clients

Cara Steinmann:

probably, you know, I can put pictures of yourself on there

Cara Steinmann:

too. But you can also say things like, you can use the words

Cara Steinmann:

connection and freedom and whatever, those are part of my

Cara Steinmann:

values. So use those. And then once you're aligned with those

Cara Steinmann:

people, that's just not enough. I think a lot of people stop

Cara Steinmann:

right there. And they stop with like meeting people and

Cara Steinmann:

connecting with people and they end up with this giant Rolodex,

Cara Steinmann:

that doesn't really benefit them because they haven't gotten to

Cara Steinmann:

the last part, which is D, and that's to deepen the

Cara Steinmann:

relationship. And it's iterative. It goes around and

Cara Steinmann:

around because we're people and we evolve and we learn about

Cara Steinmann:

ourselves. So we're constantly doing all three of these things

Cara Steinmann:

in the, with the hope that we build a really strong strategic

Cara Steinmann:

network of people that We enjoy spending time with and

Cara Steinmann:

connecting with. And that's where we get visibility from.

Cara Steinmann:

And

Janice Porter:

that's also how we build our referral network.

Janice Porter:

Yes, think

Cara Steinmann:

about the word referrals, it just means

Cara Steinmann:

someone's referring, referring to you or referring you, they're

Cara Steinmann:

talking about you behind your back. And what they're saying is

Cara Steinmann:

going to determine how somebody views you. So your visibility

Cara Steinmann:

depends on what people are saying about you, behind your

Cara Steinmann:

back.

Janice Porter:

Yeah, it's an interesting way to say it, I

Janice Porter:

find that that refer that, that referring people or being a

Janice Porter:

connector and referring, bringing people together as part

Janice Porter:

of your network, I think that is really what I love to do. But

Janice Porter:

when I do it, and I don't know, if you do this in your network,

Janice Porter:

maybe that you want to protect the people that you're that you

Janice Porter:

already have that know like and trust with, that are already

Janice Porter:

gone deep enough with it, that there's that trust factor, that

Janice Porter:

before you bring that new person in and say, hey, I want you to

Janice Porter:

to get together, you make sure that you have permission from

Janice Porter:

the, you're a person that's already in your community,

Janice Porter:

before you bring somebody else into them. So you ask them, so

Janice Porter:

you're meeting this new person, either in person or online. And

Janice Porter:

you're, and you're looking for a way to support them, because you

Janice Porter:

like what you've seen and heard so far, but you're not there

Janice Porter:

yet. So you might want to maybe offer something of your own, but

Janice Porter:

you also know they're looking for help with whatever, so you

Janice Porter:

know, someone who can help them. But before you connect them, you

Janice Porter:

check with the other person. And

Cara Steinmann:

I do that if I meet somebody outside of the

Cara Steinmann:

community, and this wasn't intentional, I think this is

Cara Steinmann:

just how it ended up working out for me. If I'm connecting

Cara Steinmann:

someone from inside the rebel community, to someone outside

Cara Steinmann:

the rebel community, I get both parties consent. If I'm

Cara Steinmann:

connecting new members to or existing members who have been

Cara Steinmann:

there for a while to someone else inside the community. Other

Cara Steinmann:

members inside the community I don't I just make a direct

Cara Steinmann:

connection inside the DMS in the community because they're

Cara Steinmann:

everybody's operating with the same assumption that, that if

Cara Steinmann:

I'm introducing you, there's a reason for it. Or, you know,

Cara Steinmann:

there should there's just a feeling and I, I talk a lot

Cara Steinmann:

about that too, because I don't have to have a reason sometimes

Cara Steinmann:

why two people should meet. You just know, just know these. I

Cara Steinmann:

don't know why you guys need to know each other. I just feel

Cara Steinmann:

like you do. And I've had people introduce me before by saying

Cara Steinmann:

that, and it cracks me up because it's always it often

Cara Steinmann:

more often than not ends up being an amazing relationship.

Cara Steinmann:

Yeah, but they couldn't really say why. And that's okay.

Janice Porter:

Yeah, I love that too. Exactly. So tell me how you

Janice Porter:

got into all this? What's your background? What, how did you

Janice Porter:

come to be that entrepreneur that's doing all of this and

Janice Porter:

building a community, I

Cara Steinmann:

came into entrepreneurship, because I'm

Cara Steinmann:

completely unemployable. If you look at my strengths profile,

Cara Steinmann:

and my Colby, Mo, and all of these, you know, tests,

Cara Steinmann:

personality tests and objective ways to look at ourselves, I am

Cara Steinmann:

not a person who is easily fits in a box with a description that

Cara Steinmann:

I keep doing over and over again. So a lot of it is I tried

Cara Steinmann:

to work for other people, and it just didn't work. And so I went

Cara Steinmann:

out on my own. And I did a lot of content writing for a long

Cara Steinmann:

time and a lot of content strategy. And I was drawn to

Cara Steinmann:

that, I think because of the strategy part. But there's also

Cara Steinmann:

a lot of project management, and repent, there's a repetitive

Cara Steinmann:

nature, in content when you're executing on a strategy over and

Cara Steinmann:

over again. And that does not align with me very well. So I

Cara Steinmann:

ended up going through kind of a meltdown during COVID. And had

Cara Steinmann:

to stop working with clients doing retainer work like that,

Cara Steinmann:

because it was really, really draining to me. And I had to

Cara Steinmann:

figure out what I am good at. And that required looking at my

Cara Steinmann:

core values and my personality and my like I said strengths and

Cara Steinmann:

the Colby, Mo and all these tools to kind of objective

Cara Steinmann:

objectively say, Well, what should I be doing? If I what am

Cara Steinmann:

I doing without even being able to help it? And someone pointed

Cara Steinmann:

out to me that I had always worked on referrals. For the

Cara Steinmann:

first 10 years of my content marketing and strategy. career,

Cara Steinmann:

I didn't even have a website, because I was networking and

Cara Steinmann:

building relationships that were strategic, but I didn't realize

Cara Steinmann:

I was doing it. So so the rabbit collective came to me because I

Cara Steinmann:

was doing COVID I kind of start embracing that again. And I

Cara Steinmann:

started connecting with all kinds of people like once you

Cara Steinmann:

turn the fire on something you're good at, it kind of gets

Cara Steinmann:

a little crazy. And so I was meeting all these women online,

Cara Steinmann:

and I couldn't keep track of them. And I wanted them to meet

Cara Steinmann:

each other. But it was really time consuming, making email

Cara Steinmann:

introductions to everybody. So I just said, you guys, come on,

Cara Steinmann:

let's all just get in the same place. Let's come in this

Cara Steinmann:

community, let's all network with one another. And then one

Cara Steinmann:

of the members asked me that how does it work? Like she asked me

Cara Steinmann:

to kind of deconstruct the way that I operate. And so that was

Cara Steinmann:

where the framework came from, was just sort of a reverse

Cara Steinmann:

engineering of how I naturally operate. Interesting.

Janice Porter:

So I'm curious when you were in school, were

Janice Porter:

you an athlete

Cara Steinmann:

I played intramurals. But I was an

Cara Steinmann:

outlet. I did martial arts outside of school.

Janice Porter:

Okay. Individual sports. Okay. Yeah. So that's

Janice Porter:

why. Yeah, like, I think there's different skills that come from

Janice Porter:

individual sports, obviously, to team sports. And I think it

Janice Porter:

makes a huge difference. So you were very independent in lots of

Janice Porter:

ways. Yeah.

Cara Steinmann:

But very collaborative, too. I did end of

Cara Steinmann:

individual sports, but I didn't like I was never very

Cara Steinmann:

competitive. Yeah. So I think there's more of a,

Janice Porter:

I see, what's that? I see guitars behind you

Janice Porter:

play music.

Cara Steinmann:

I learned to play the piano when I was

Cara Steinmann:

growing up. And then I just picked up the guitar last year

Cara Steinmann:

and started playing, which was sort of a bucket list item for

Cara Steinmann:

me because I had, I had learned to play the ukulele in fourth

Cara Steinmann:

grade. And I raised my hand to ask for a left handed ukulele on

Cara Steinmann:

the teacher. I am Are you? Yes. Hey, fellow lefties. My

Cara Steinmann:

husband's left handed too, but our son is right handed. So we

Cara Steinmann:

like to joke that two wrongs make a right. I love it. Yeah.

Janice Porter:

Yeah, sorry. I find left handed people that I

Janice Porter:

was at a bridge table. Last week we play bridge and three out of

Janice Porter:

the four of us were left handed. That is so unusual. Yeah. It is

Janice Porter:

the most my family like I have an uncle and uncle who was very

Janice Porter:

ambidextrous. And my mother was ambidextrous. And my one

Janice Porter:

daughter is very ambidextrous. She played a lot of sports. And

Janice Porter:

she can like, bat or hit it with a golf club. Either way, you

Janice Porter:

know, so, but nobody's left handed my little granddaughters

Janice Porter:

a little bit ambidextrous, but mostly right handed. But ya

Janice Porter:

know, left

Cara Steinmann:

hold. It's 50% ish genetic. And the other part

Cara Steinmann:

is just what you environmental maybe

Janice Porter:

that could be true, because back in the old

Janice Porter:

days, you know, they used to beat it out. Yeah. Yeah. So sad

Janice Porter:

to hear that anyway. Yeah, so I interrupted you, because I got

Cara Steinmann:

it. I had? Well, in this, this kind of goes to

Cara Steinmann:

like the belief systems and the things that layer on top of who

Cara Steinmann:

we are, right, like, when I melted down during COVID, I

Cara Steinmann:

realized I didn't really know who I was anymore, because of a

Cara Steinmann:

lot of the messages that I had gotten about myself. Who am I,

Cara Steinmann:

you know, the belief systems that we pick up, really, really

Cara Steinmann:

get into our subconscious. And it was hard for me to even

Cara Steinmann:

imagine that I could have a business other than the one I

Cara Steinmann:

had, let alone, like the privilege of building

Cara Steinmann:

relationships with people for a living, that's amazing. But just

Cara Steinmann:

one of the beliefs that I picked up when I was young was that I,

Cara Steinmann:

I put my hand up for a left handed ukulele and the teacher

Cara Steinmann:

really embarrassed me in front of the class and shot me down

Cara Steinmann:

and said, There's no such thing as a left handed ukulele, you

Cara Steinmann:

just need to figure it out. And I was I would think I was

Cara Steinmann:

embarrassed, you know, for getting in trouble. I was the

Cara Steinmann:

way I perceived it. But also just, you know, being different

Cara Steinmann:

and asking for what I needed. And then having that just like,

Cara Steinmann:

How dare you ask for what you need? Well, so I kind of had

Cara Steinmann:

always wanted to play the guitar. But because of that

Cara Steinmann:

experience, I kind of just put it on the shelf and figured

Cara Steinmann:

that's not going to be because I'm not ambidextrous, I can't do

Cara Steinmann:

anything with my right hand, apparently, but discovered a

Cara Steinmann:

little while ago that they totally have left handed guitars

Cara Steinmann:

and left handed all kinds of left handed instruments

Janice Porter:

you obviously didn't didn't grow up with the

Janice Porter:

Beatles. Did they play left handed? Paul McCartney's left

Janice Porter:

handed as he did so he has a left handed look at all the

Janice Porter:

pictures. He's the one with the guitar. The No, I never noticed

Janice Porter:

that. I

Cara Steinmann:

mean, I love the Beatles, but I'm not like a

Cara Steinmann:

Yeah, he's. I did not know that. Yeah. Well, she should have

Cara Steinmann:

known that then. Now. I'm really mad.

Janice Porter:

Oh, that's too funny. I know. But that's

Janice Porter:

terrible. As a teacher, I was a teacher, so to hear you, you

Janice Porter:

know,

Cara Steinmann:

I've had a couple of teachers traumatize me

Cara Steinmann:

because of, probably because I'm loud. I think I just realized

Cara Steinmann:

recently that I have a triggering effect when someone

Cara Steinmann:

says I'm a leader, like a leadership issue. And I kind of

Cara Steinmann:

dug back and thought, you know, I did have that one teacher who

Cara Steinmann:

kind of yelled at me in front of everybody and said, Scott, you

Cara Steinmann:

can't always be in charge care. You have to let someone else be

Cara Steinmann:

in charge. And like, stop being so bossy

Janice Porter:

that I was the Bossy kid to me. I always I'm,

Janice Porter:

I'm the oldest of four. I had to be bossy. But the other thing is

Janice Porter:

like, I don't know, when's your birthday was

Cara Steinmann:

April 17. Okay, so you're full on Aries, Aries,

Janice Porter:

and my daughter is in Aries. Because I'm a

Janice Porter:

Virgo, and I'm like I have to be in control. And okay, so. But

Janice Porter:

one of the things in reading all that horoscope stuff, which is

Janice Porter:

really kind of fun, but I kind of like it. It you can turn it

Janice Porter:

one way or the other. Right. So you can be the Bossy one. Or you

Janice Porter:

can be the one that organizes and be you know, yeah.

Cara Steinmann:

Right. And I think that's something we learn

Cara Steinmann:

when we all those tests are so there, you know, there's

Cara Steinmann:

horoscopes, there's human design, there's all these

Cara Steinmann:

different ways we can look at ourselves. And I think it's

Cara Steinmann:

really valuable too, with a grain of salt, look at all those

Cara Steinmann:

things. Because a lot of times some of our greatest strengths

Cara Steinmann:

can become our weaknesses. If they're let loose. If they're

Cara Steinmann:

not honed and moderated and I think I probably was really

Cara Steinmann:

bossy, and I probably was, you know, out of control. But that

Cara Steinmann:

doesn't mean that

Janice Porter:

none of that you were out of control, you are

Janice Porter:

probably just speaking your mind and being curious, which I want

Janice Porter:

to come to in a second because that's the thing. You know, my

Janice Porter:

one of my kids was the type a who would always push the

Janice Porter:

teachers, you know, limits and ask questions, and why didn't I

Janice Porter:

get an A plus? Why was it just an A, my other daughter,

Janice Porter:

completely introverted? Don't ask me any questions. I want to

Janice Porter:

sit back in my seat and not, you know, be noticed in the

Janice Porter:

classroom because God forbid, you should ask me a question.

Janice Porter:

Totally different. So, I don't know. It's just who you are.

Janice Porter:

Right? And yeah, we're

Cara Steinmann:

a lot of is just an aid. We're just different

Cara Steinmann:

people. Exactly,

Janice Porter:

exactly. So that being said, I'm guessing that

Janice Porter:

you are a full on curious person, because quite often good

Janice Porter:

Networkers are curious people, right

Cara Steinmann:

to two of the top five strengths in my Clifton

Cara Steinmann:

Strengths profile, are learner and input. And those are both

Cara Steinmann:

like, give me all the information. Let me catalog it.

Cara Steinmann:

And because of those, I tend to collect people apparently.

Janice Porter:

Oh, okay. So it's interesting, I did this. I did

Janice Porter:

this program once called your sacred gifts. And it was a woman

Janice Porter:

here who's been doing this for years. And she's really

Janice Porter:

interesting. And she says, there's 24 Sacred gifts. And

Janice Porter:

that I trigger something. Oh, I can't hear you.

Cara Steinmann:

Sorry, I'm laughing because I muted myself

Cara Steinmann:

to write that down. Because I, the last couple of weeks, we had

Cara Steinmann:

our little 30 minute strategy call, you know, and you

Cara Steinmann:

mentioned that and I wrote it down. But of course, couldn't

Cara Steinmann:

find the piece of paper. And I've been trying to remember

Cara Steinmann:

last time you did it. I've been trying to remember what was that

Cara Steinmann:

assessment?

Janice Porter:

I'll send it. I'll send it to you. And it's

Janice Porter:

not really an assessment. It's a it's a, but you can get an idea

Janice Porter:

from? Yeah, the first part of it anyway. I might still have it.

Janice Porter:

I'll see if I can find it. Yeah, super curious. Yeah. So yeah.

Janice Porter:

Anyway, okay. So tell me this. I'm going to ask you my two part

Janice Porter:

curiosity. Question. And before we before we ant here. Do you

Janice Porter:

believe that curiosity is innate? Or learned? And part two

Janice Porter:

is what are you most curious about these days? yourself?

Cara Steinmann:

I think curiosity is absolutely innate,

Cara Steinmann:

and that some of us probably develop it more throughout life.

Cara Steinmann:

And some of us are probably maybe taught to tamp it down

Cara Steinmann:

just a bit. Depending. And I think curiosity, we're all

Cara Steinmann:

curious about things, just maybe such different things that we

Cara Steinmann:

don't really notice. If someone's not curious about what

Cara Steinmann:

we're curious about. We're like, why are they not curious?

Janice Porter:

Right, right. Exactly. So it's, it can be

Janice Porter:

interest based as well. Okay. And what are you curious about

Janice Porter:

today?

Cara Steinmann:

I am still most curious today, about the same

Cara Steinmann:

thing. I've been curious about my entire life, which is like,

Cara Steinmann:

why are people the way they are? And that, you know, that feeds

Cara Steinmann:

into how Why does one person get along with one person and not

Cara Steinmann:

with another person? And how do we interact with one another,

Cara Steinmann:

and the, you know, foundations of a relationship and how they

Cara Steinmann:

grow and build and just, I'm interested in people and how

Cara Steinmann:

they relate to themselves and each other? That's great.

Janice Porter:

Do you I see you as the kind of person that

Janice Porter:

sometimes people will say to me, well, two things, one, that I

Janice Porter:

can talk to someone for five minutes and come away and know

Janice Porter:

their entire life history? And secondly, someone will say to

Janice Porter:

me, Wow, no one's ever asked me that question before or, or, you

Janice Porter:

know, I've never shared this with anyone before. So in other

Janice Porter:

words, I can get to the core quite quickly with people. And I

Janice Porter:

have a sense that you can too.

Cara Steinmann:

That's funny, you mentioned that, because when

Cara Steinmann:

I was going through this kind of meltdown, trying to figure out

Cara Steinmann:

who am I, I felt like I wasn't really good at anything anymore.

Cara Steinmann:

And looking back, that might partly be because so many of my

Cara Steinmann:

really, like core strengths are softer skills. They're not

Cara Steinmann:

execution related. You can't see something on the other end of

Cara Steinmann:

it. But I asked my husband, Babe, what do you think my

Cara Steinmann:

superpower is? Yeah. And he said, Oh, that's easy. You can

Cara Steinmann:

talk to somebody for five minutes, and they're telling you

Cara Steinmann:

stuff, they wouldn't even tell the therapist. Yeah. And I'm

Cara Steinmann:

like, at that, that there again, though, that has been a

Cara Steinmann:

liability at times, because people will tell me stuff. I

Cara Steinmann:

don't really want to know. And you don't put it right. Yeah.

Cara Steinmann:

And then and sometimes it's fine. And I've learned to, you

Cara Steinmann:

know, just roll with it. And to be really non judgmental, I

Cara Steinmann:

think because when people tell you stuff about themselves your

Cara Steinmann:

whole life, you have to just learn to just let it be but

Cara Steinmann:

people will some people will get a vulnerability hangover and

Cara Steinmann:

avoid me after they've told me something very intimate. Okay,

Cara Steinmann:

and I'm not judging but I think that there's some shame there

Cara Steinmann:

that maybe it's misplaced.

Janice Porter:

Well, then, then you would probably know how to

Janice Porter:

bring them around.

Cara Steinmann:

Yeah, usually it's okay but you know, Certain

Cara Steinmann:

people are more more apt to let their shame control them than

Cara Steinmann:

others. But yes, you're we're probably very much alike. Yeah,

Cara Steinmann:

I

Janice Porter:

think we are in so many ways. And so just before

Janice Porter:

we wrap up, let's get back to business for a second. And, and

Janice Porter:

you see how they are really so totally related. It's just

Janice Porter:

crazy, right? And core values. That's where it all comes down

Janice Porter:

to. I mean, when I meet someone on LinkedIn for the first time,

Janice Porter:

and even just the questions that I asked if they answer them,

Janice Porter:

don't answer them. If they ask a question, if they even care

Janice Porter:

enough to ask a question, if they've read my profile, all of

Janice Porter:

those things come into play for me, initially, until I can, you

Janice Porter:

know, sort of peel back the first layer and see if they're

Janice Porter:

interested in doing that. But I've met some really interesting

Janice Porter:

people, just from being online, which is kind of fun. You have

Janice Porter:

one thing I was curious about here that that you asked, what

Janice Porter:

are some unconventional ways to build your network on LinkedIn?

Janice Porter:

What do you have, because I teaching people all the time. So

Janice Porter:

I'm just curious what you do that works, or that you show

Janice Porter:

people,

Cara Steinmann:

I think that probably comes from not starting

Cara Steinmann:

my search on LinkedIn. And I don't focus a lot on, on posting

Cara Steinmann:

and starting the conversation myself, I like to jump into

Cara Steinmann:

other people's conversations, I like to get into the comments of

Cara Steinmann:

posts that I find interesting, and talk to people who are

Cara Steinmann:

already in that conversation. So it doesn't have to be me

Cara Steinmann:

starting the conversation. Yeah, and I'm also not afraid to take

Cara Steinmann:

it to the DMS like right away, because I don't have an agenda

Cara Steinmann:

right away, like I don't have anything I need from you or want

Cara Steinmann:

from you. I just want to connect. And usually to tell

Cara Steinmann:

them that I really liked what they had to say or that I think

Cara Steinmann:

they're really interesting, or probably because I'm curious. So

Cara Steinmann:

I guess that's where it comes from, is just like a very innate

Cara Steinmann:

curiosity about people and what they're all about and what

Cara Steinmann:

they're doing. Yeah,

Janice Porter:

that's, that's interesting, because that is a

Janice Porter:

strategy that I show people sometimes, but I'm more about

Janice Porter:

hanging out in the mailbox in the private messaging. And so I

Janice Porter:

will do is show people a way to, you don't even have to go to the

Janice Porter:

content, you can just do a strategic search to find some

Janice Porter:

people in either a category or a location or whatever filters you

Janice Porter:

want to use to find some prospects or some referral

Janice Porter:

partners or strategic collaborators that you want to

Janice Porter:

find on LinkedIn. And then start looking at those profiles. And

Janice Porter:

from there, go in and ask to connect with them, or follow

Janice Porter:

them for a bit if you prefer, I go right to connect with a

Janice Porter:

message and try to get them into a one on one. And, and it works.

Janice Porter:

And I have a few messages that I that I like to ask them to see

Janice Porter:

if I can get them talking about themselves. So it's kind of fun.

Janice Porter:

So that works, too. So

Cara Steinmann:

that sounds like it's interesting, because you

Cara Steinmann:

have a slightly different approach than I do to kind of

Cara Steinmann:

get to the same end, I'd be curious to know what your what

Cara Steinmann:

your Colby Mo is because it sounds like you have some

Cara Steinmann:

structure and some rep like repetitive systems that sort of

Cara Steinmann:

work

Janice Porter:

for why it didn't study my Colby that closely. So

Janice Porter:

I'll have to go back and look at it and see well,

Cara Steinmann:

I'm super curious, because I'm the

Cara Steinmann:

opposite of you. I don't have a structure or a system that I can

Cara Steinmann:

like really repeat. But which is why I start outside of LinkedIn

Cara Steinmann:

and just in the real world, then I go because it's so easy to

Cara Steinmann:

connect directly with people, I go find them and talk to them on

Cara Steinmann:

LinkedIn just directly.

Janice Porter:

We'll have a conversation about that one.

Janice Porter:

Yeah, definitely. Okay, thank you. That's awesome. Well, this

Janice Porter:

has been amazing. And I appreciate your time. And I love

Janice Porter:

that we have so much in common and and that we're both left

Janice Porter:

handed it couldn't have gotten it before we end, I wonder if

Janice Porter:

you have any final words for my audience and where people can

Janice Porter:

find you. And I will, of course put it in the show notes as

Janice Porter:

well. But over to you. You

Cara Steinmann:

know, I think I would just piggyback again, on

Cara Steinmann:

what you said earlier about letting yourself come through in

Cara Steinmann:

your marketing and your content and your, you know, interactions

Cara Steinmann:

online. I think if you are willing to let yourself be seen,

Cara Steinmann:

it'll be a lot more easy to it'll be a lot easier to build

Cara Steinmann:

your reputation and become visible and have success because

Cara Steinmann:

people have to see you to appreciate you and want to work

Cara Steinmann:

with you.

Janice Porter:

Very cool. Thank you. Where can they find you?

Cara Steinmann:

I just like to connect on LinkedIn. So LinkedIn

Janice Porter:

it is and I have that. So I will put that in the

Janice Porter:

show notes. Thank you so much, Kara, for being here and for

Janice Porter:

sharing your expertise and personality with us and I've

Cara Steinmann:

enjoyed it so much. Thank you.

Janice Porter:

You're very welcome. And to my audience,

Janice Porter:

thank you so much, and we will see you on the other side.

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