ADHD Coach Katherine Sanders

S Katherine Sanders, AACG, certified ADHD coach.

In this enlightening episode, ADHD Coach Katherine explains the power of positive emotions and their hidden role in managing ADHD.

The penultimate episode in our monthly theme of emotional dysregulation, we turn to the brighter side, exploring how positive emotions can reshape our experiences with ADHD. From tackling the misconceptions surrounding positivity (no 'good vibes only' here!) to unveiling the neuroscience behind emotional regulation, this episode is a treasure trove of insights and practical advice.

Highlights:

• Understanding Emotional Dysregulation: We begin with a brief recap of emotional dysregulation in ADHD, emphasizing the need to balance our focus on both negative and positive emotions.
• The Science of Positivity: Look at neuroplasticity, dopamine pathways, and the impact of positive emotions on the ADHD brain, featuring insights from Dr. Nora Volkow's research.
• Strategies for Cultivating Positivity: From exercise to positive psychology and (yes) gratitude journaling, discover actionable strategies to foster positive emotions and build a more resilient mindset.
• The Role of Emotional Intelligence: Explore how enhancing emotional intelligence can lead to better stress management, improved relationships, and a deeper understanding of oneself.
• Introducing Emotional Acuity Resonance (EAR): A novel concept developed by Katherine, EAR represents an adaptable approach to understanding and leveraging the emotional strengths inherent in ADHD.

Resources Mentioned:

• Study by Dr. Nora Volkow on dopamine reward pathways
• Journal of Neuroscience article on positive emotions and ADHD
• VIA Character Strengths Assessment
• Barbara Fredrickson's Broaden and Build model
• Daniel Goleman's work on Emotional Intelligence

Next Week's Teaser: Stay tuned for an exclusive reveal of Katherine's toolkit for emotion regulation, designed to empower you to harness the full spectrum of your emotions in daily life.

Connect with Us:

• Share your insights and takeaways by emailing us. Your feedback might shape our future episodes!
• If this episode resonated with you, consider sharing it with someone who could benefit from our conversation on ADHD and positive emotions.

Connect with Katherine here:

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Facebook

Youtube

LinkedIN

Threads 

Video of Dr Volkow - ADHD: An Attention and Motivation Deficit Disorder (2011)

VIA Character Strengths Assessment (free) - https://www.viacharacter.org/

Broaden & Build (journal article) - Fredrickson BL. The role of positive emotions in positive psychology. The broaden-and-build theory of positive emotions. Am Psychol. 2001 Mar;56(3):218-26. doi: 10.1037//0003-066x.56.3.218. PMID: 11315248; PMCID: PMC3122271.

Broaden & Build in the workplace - article: https://www.mindtools.com/ah0omj7/broaden-and-build-theory

Daniel Goleman - Emotional Intelligence: https://www.danielgoleman.info/

Barbara Fredrickson: Broaden and Build Model

Fredrickson BL. The role of positive emotions in positive psychology. The broaden-and-build theory of positive emotions. Am Psychol. 2001 Mar;56(3):218-26. doi: 10.1037//0003-066x.56.3.218. PMID: 11315248; PMCID: PMC3122271.

Bartos, L., Funes, M., Ouellet, Marc, Posadas, M., Immink, M., & Krägeloh, Christian U. (2022). A Feasibility Study of a Program Integrating Mindfulness, Yoga, Positive Psychology, and Emotional Intelligence in Tertiary-Level Student Musicians. Mindfulness.

Valerie, Brenda, & Mularsih, Heni. (2021). The Correlation Between Emotional Intelligence and Subjective Well-Being Among Psychology Students in Jakarta. Advances in Social Science, Education and Humanities Research.

Cejudo, J., García-Castillo, Francisco-Javier, Luna, Pablo, Rodrigo-Ruiz, D., Feltrero, Roberto, & Moreno-Gómez, Alfonso. (2019). Using a Mindfulness-Based Intervention to Promote Subjective Well-Being, Trait Emotional Intelligence, Mental Health, and Resilience in Women With Fibromyalgia. Frontiers in Psychology.

Lopez-Zafra, Esther, Ramos‑Álvarez, M., El Ghoudani, Karima, Luque-Reca, Octavio, Augusto-Landa, J., Zarhbouch, Benaissa, Alaoui, Smail, Cortés-Denia, Daniel, & Pulido-Martos, M. (2019). Social Support and Emotional Intelligence as Protective Resources for Well-Being in Moroccan Adolescents. Frontiers in Psychology.

Farnia, Forouzan, Nafukho, F., & Petrides, K. (2018). Predicting Career Decision-Making Difficulties: The Role of Trait Emotional Intelligence, Positive and Negative Emotions. Frontiers in Psychology.

Qin, Yuan, Liu, Jiao, & Wu, Dongmei. (2023). The impact of emotional intelligence on life satisfaction among Chinese nurses: A chain mediating model. Frontiers in Psychology. 

Li, Chengchen. (2020). A Positive Psychology perspective on Chinese EFL students’ trait emotional intelligence, foreign language enjoyment and EFL learning achievement. Journal of Multilingual and Multicultural Development. 

Ben Turkia, I., Brahim, T., & Sahli, L. (2023). Emotional Intelligence and Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). European Psychiatry.

Pm, S., & Manjula, V. (2022). Emotional Intelligence and Marital Adjustment among Parents of Children with ADHD. International Journal of Science and Engineering Management. 

Llamas-Díaz, D., Cabello, R., Gómez-Leal, R., Gutiérrez-Cobo, M. J., Megías-Robles, A., & Fernández-Berrocal, P. (2023). Ability Emotional Intelligence and Subjective Happiness in Adolescents: The Role of Positive and Negative Affect. Journal of Intelligence. 

Ludlow, A., Garrood, A., Lawrence, K., & Gutierrez, R. (2014). Emotion Recognition From Dynamic Emotional Displays in Children With ADHD. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology. 

Volkow ND, Wang G, Kollins SH, et al. Evaluating Dopamine Reward Pathway in ADHD: Clinical Implications. JAMA. 2009;302(10):1084–1091. doi:10.1001/jama.2009.1308

Speaker: 00:00:00

RODE NT-USB & Susan's iphone (work) Camera:

What's up my friend, it is ADHD

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Powerful Possibilities and I'm

your friend ADHD Coach Katherine.

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This month so far we've been

looking at negative emotions in

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terms of emotional dysregulation.

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We have looked at the impact

of stress, both positive but

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mostly chronic negative stress.

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We've done some exploration of

myths and the impact that these

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misinformation stories have on our well

being, both mentally and physically.

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And this week, before we dive

into the toolkit next week, I want

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to take some time to think about

Positive emotion, because so often

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when we talk about emotions, we

focus on the negative ones, right?

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We think about the pain, the

anxiety, the worry, the stress, the

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loneliness, all these really harmful

and unhappy feelings that we have.

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And I wanted to spend a little

bit of time with you today, just

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thinking about what happens when

we focus on positive emotions.

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Certainly, it is more click baity, more

attractive, in terms of numbers, to talk

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about the pain and the problems, and if I

talk about burnout and things like that, I

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generally get a lot more input from people

than when I talk about strengths of ADHD.

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I just think it's really important that

we acknowledge there are things that make

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a difference and one of them is learning

how to address our feelings, focus on

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the ones that actually make us feel good.

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I think "positive" in itself is slightly

problematic because lots of people

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associate it with not acknowledging.

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the difficult things at the

same time as the good things.

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So I want to reassure you, all your

vibes, all your feelings are welcome here.

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It's not good vibes only.

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You're allowed to experience

challenges and also feel good about

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other things at the same time.

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When we think about positive

emotions, are we thinking about

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feeling really good all the time?

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No, obviously not.

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We want to acknowledge

that feeling better.

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Feeling joy, feeling happiness,

feeling connection, feeling excitement

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all of these positive feelings that

we might lump together under the

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banner of positive can be experienced

temporarily and in short bursts.

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It's not humanly possible to feel

really ecstatic and happy all the

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time and it's maybe not even healthy.

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I think.

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A sign of being psychologically well

is to be able to experience the light

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and the shade, to feel up and feel

down, but in a way that doesn't hinder

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your daily activities, your long term

vision and your goals, it doesn't

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impact on your relationships too much.

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And one of the reasons that I want

to focus on it today is because

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we know that neuroplasticity

occurs throughout our lifetime.

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You can learn new things

no matter your age.

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There's no cut off point where your

brain stops changing and The great

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thing is that what we think and how we

think as well as our daily habits and

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actions can have a really big impact

on the amount of change in our brain.

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And we'll come later to talk about

the impact of things like mindfulness

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and how that has been shown to

change the shape of your brain.

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Way, way back we talked about

dopamine and the reward pathway

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and I mentioned the work of Dr.

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Nora Volkov who spent a lot of

time with her colleagues exploring

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how dopamine reward is experienced

differently for people with ADHD.

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I will include a link in the show notes

to the study so you can go and read it.

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I'll also include a video that

includes her talking about her work.

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To sum it up.

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If you have ADHD, you are likely to

need more positive input, more of a

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reward, more often, to achieve the same

reward the same amount of dopamine.

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So that is one of the reasons why people

with A DHD can occasionally end up in

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a trap of looking for dopamine through

food, through alcohol, gambling, all these

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exciting quick hit reward things, and

it's very common for that to be a problem.

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Don't feel any shame about it.

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It's just your brain.

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And when you know why you're

doing it, it's easier.

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Not easy.

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Easier to change how you go about things.

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We know that dopamine is the

neurotransmitter we think

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of most often with ADHD.

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With ADHD we often have a

dysregulated dopamine pathway.

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It's harder for us to feel that good

reward feeling, that satisfaction,

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the joy, the accomplishment.

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And because it's more difficult for us

to experience that, reward that we expect

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from doing the right thing, from finishing

a job, from the day to day things

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that other people find enjoyable and

rewarding, we need to focus more on those

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activities that produce the dopamine.

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And there's an article I'm

linking to from the Journal of

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Neuroscience, which highlights how

experiencing positive, enjoyable

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emotions more often actually helps.

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And to regulate our attention

and also our motivation towards

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these rewarding activities.

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So the more often we experience a

positive emotion, the more likely

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we are to regulate our dopamine and

to take part in these activities

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that stimulate more dopamine.

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The week before we were talking about

stress and how it becomes a vicious

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cycle where stress and cortisol

and the impact of that on ADHD can

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produce more stress and we get stuck.

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The same is true when we focus

more on positive emotions.

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When I say positive, I don't mean

happiness 24 7, so I'm just thinking about

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things that give you joy, satisfaction,

pleasure, connection, that warm, fuzzy

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that you might experience sometimes.

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Those things create more dopamine.

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The more we have them, the more

likely we are to engage in activities

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that give us more dopamine.

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So it becomes this virtuous

spiral up the way, if you like.

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The other thing that is changed

or activated more by positive

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emotions and positive experiences

is our prefrontal cortex.

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Now, our prefrontal cortex is the

general home of executive functions.

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Those things which are

most impacted by ADHD.

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Decision making, focus,

attention, impulse control.

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When we feel these positive emotions,

this reward, that prefrontal cortex

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is stimulated and becomes more active.

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So it actually strengthens

the neural pathways the more

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we focus on feeling good.

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Now we've looked at the physical

impact of a positive emotion on your

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brain, on the physical, chemical

structure of your brain, which

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is frankly mind blowing, right?

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What can you do about it?

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The first thing, of course,

is going to be exercise.

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It's always exercise.

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Let's take that as a given.

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Exercise is good for your brain, it's good

for your body, it's good for your heart.

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We're designed to move.

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So move in a way that you find enjoyable.

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You might want to find an

activity that makes you smile.

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For me, that is usually being really silly

and dancing to my favourite tunes at home.

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But you might want to look at something

like group dancing, or a group activity.

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Are there exercise groups, rambling

groups, are there classes that you can

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join in, if you have joint problems,

are there move to music in swimming pool

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groups that you can join in, where people

are just happy to be silly and have fun.

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You might want to look for a positive

psychology aspect and this is something

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that I love bringing into coaching.

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Positive psychology is the understanding

of our brains and how we think to focus

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on what we're good at, what's good

for us, the strength based approach.

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A benefit of positive psychology

strategies, is that it helps us to

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build our emotional intelligence.

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It improves our general life

satisfaction, and it can increase

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our resilience in times of stress.

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Remember, stress can be short term,

and it can sometimes be a positive

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thing, as long as it's not ongoing.

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Positive psychology has some

great benefits for people with

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ADHD when you look at all the

things that it's going to improve.

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One of the things that you can do to

improve your awareness of positive

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emotions is gratitude journaling and

this is something that is Used in

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positive psychology, it's as simple as

noting down at the end of the day three

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things that you're grateful for, not

going into great detail in them, but

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just focusing on them every single day.

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Focusing on them every single day

allows you to gradually build up that

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gratitude muscle, and that, yeah,

actually some good stuff happened

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today, because we tend to forget it.

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Our memory in ADHD can be affected.

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Making it a point to practice

that every single day can have

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a big impact, as can savouring.

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Now savouring is exactly

what it sounds like.

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You know when you're eating something

absolutely delicious, and you really

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take your time and enjoy every mouthful.

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When you're doing something that

you really enjoy, that gives you

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satisfaction, that you're really

good at, that's using your strengths.

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Maybe you're out with a friend

and you're having a great time.

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Savour the experience.

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Try to anchor it . Create a picture

so that if you were to come into a

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coaching session with me the next

day, you could describe it fully.

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What was happening in the room

or in the area that you were?

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What were the smells?

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What were the sounds?

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What was it that made you feel that

wonderful bubble of energy and joy

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inside and savor those moments.

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If you can include them in your

journal at the end of the day, build

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up this bank of things that really

make you feel good right inside.

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And of course.

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The idea of using your character

strengths, I've mentioned before the

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VIA character strengths assessment,

it's a free assessment, look at

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what your top five to seven are.

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Are you using them on a daily basis?

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When we find a way to recruit those

strengths into everyday activities, we

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will find that we get more satisfaction.

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More enjoyment.

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We feel more competent, more in charge

of what we're doing because we're leaning

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into those strengths and we're taking

time to really use them for our benefit

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and, of course, the benefit of others.

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And one of the things that we need

to improve if we're going to have a

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more positive and possible outlook is

Using tools like that to improve your

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self concept or how you view yourself.

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Quite often, I'll talk to people who have

a very negative self concept and it's a

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tricky line because I'm not a therapist

or a counsellor, not a psychologist, I'm

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only a coach, but sometimes it's just a

habit we've got into and all we need is

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a coach to ask the right questions and

help you to see the good stuff again and

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that might be enough, but if you find

that you're constantly Talking yourself

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down, you're not taking action, you don't

think it's going to make a difference.

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You might find that it's your self

concept that needs a wee bit of support.

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And the positive psychology tools

that I've mentioned here and I'll

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include links to in the show notes

are things that you can do yourself.

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They're not things that you need

to have a therapist around for.

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But speaking of positive psychology and

psychologists who are worthy of note,

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I want to mention Barbara Fredrickson.

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She designed this idea called

the Broaden and Build model.

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It's very much what we were talking

about, looking at your strengths,

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but it's based on the idea

that positive experiences and

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emotions have a long term benefit.

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It's not just about feeling good

in the moment, but longer term.

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Having more positive emotions

throughout the day will encourage

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your long term self awareness

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and encourage you to try new

things, to think new thoughts,

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to accept more variety.

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It's closer to that idea of resilience.

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So the more positive experiences and

emotions we can feel every day, the

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more likely we are to have long term

positive experiences, feel more open.

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to try new things, which in turn

will give us more positive feedback.

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And why would you want to include

things that make you feel positive?

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, there's data that suggests it encourages

higher levels of creativity, and

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by that creative problem solving,

not necessarily being Michelangelo.

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It can encourage more flexibility in

thinking, and although people think of

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black and white I'm going to be talking

about the concept of rigid thinking

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in the context of autistic spectrum.

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It's also something that occurs in ADHD

but if you're feeling like your thinking

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is very black and white, it's quite

rigid, you have this very stuck frame

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of mind, actually doing positive things.

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Increases your flexibility.

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Think of it like learning to

do a daily stretching routine.

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It might not make a huge difference in

that day, but if you do it every day

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for three to four months, by the end of

six months you're going to be incredibly

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flexible and feel so much better, but

you won't notice at all in day one.

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And of course the other impact of

positive emotion is that it allows

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us to connect with other people.

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Isolation.

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is a very negative thing for human beings.

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Yes, we can enjoy being on our own, we

can enjoy our own company, and lots of

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us are very independent, but actually

being connected with other people who

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Like us, who trust us, who respect us,

can build positive self regard, and it

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can encourage you to make connections

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and when we're connected,

we're generally happier humans.

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It's why group coaching can be so

powerful, because positive feedback

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and positive experiences shared in

the group can allow other people

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to think, I would quite enjoy that.

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That sounds good.

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You might.

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Also be able to give positive feedback

to somebody in a group and say,

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well done, that was really great.

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I know how hard that is for you.

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And that lifting each other up

can be something that improves

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your positive emotional state.

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But it also allows you to feel more

safe to connect with other people.

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Because let's face it, with ADHD, quite

often, We have challenges around our

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social skills and relationships, not

because in and of itself it creates

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a barrier, a separation, a lack of

empathy, but because quite often our

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brains are jumping so far ahead or

we're distracted by an inner thought or

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literally a squirrel rather than what

our friend or our neighbour is saying.

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And over time.

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We get a message that socially

we're not quite hitting the mark.

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So when we're able to bring positive

emotion into a group, or when a group

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shares a positive emotion with us,

and gives us some feedback, it allows

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that I think of it like a shell.

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It allows that shell just to crack a

little bit and the inner you, which

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I believe is joyful and loves good

feelings and positive emotions, but feels

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unsafe to share them, it allows that

you just to come out a little bit more.

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So there are lots of reasons why

positive emotions and focusing

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on it is really important.

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There's data for these positive results

and I'll include them in the show

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notes, but it's evidenced that the

more we can encourage ourselves to

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experience and record positive emotions,

the better we feel and the better we

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feel, the more of them we experience.

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So it's a wonderful circle.

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And if you're feeling stuck, if you

feel that you can't experience positive

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emotions, obviously you need to rule

out things like clinical depression and

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those need to be assessed by a doctor.

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: 00:16:01

But it might be you're just not giving

yourself permission to experience

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those positive things because

you don't see the point of them.

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And this information is showing you

there is a point, there is a really

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: 00:16:12

important reason to focus on this.

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One of the ways that you can develop

more positive emotion is to work

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on your emotional intelligence.

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And this is a specific set of

concepts that were developed

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by the psychologists Peter Solovey

and John Mayer in the: 1990

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And it refers to the ability to

recognize, understand, manage and

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use your own emotions positively.

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To help relieve your stress, to

communicate better and more effectively

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with other people, to overcome any

challenges in your life to share,

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to have some empathy with others.

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It's generally not a problem

for people with ADHD.

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And also to resolve conflict.

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And Daniel Goleman wrote the

book which everybody talks about

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with emotional intelligence.

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And in this book.

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Goleman says, emotional intelligence is

more important than academic intelligence.

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And I think certainly with the

advent of AI, it's pretty much a

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given that you can find out almost

any piece of information available.

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: 00:17:16

But how you use it and think about it and

how you think about yourself and other

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humans is going to become more difficult.

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: 00:17:24

It's going to become more important as we

go forward using artificial intelligence

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and computers in our workplaces.

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The thing is, with ADHD, you can

already tell that there are some

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: 00:17:35

areas of emotional intelligence that

we're more likely to struggle with.

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Things like mastering our

impulsivity and diffusing conflict.

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Our social interactions and

our emotional regulation.

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These executive functions are things

we may find more of a challenge.

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: 00:17:51

I don't include empathy in that

because most of the people I've met

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with ADHD are very empathetic and

many of us are extremely aware of our

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emotions and other people's emotions,

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: 00:18:03

but there are strategies from emotional

intelligence that we can use to improve

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our self awareness, our regulation

and to connect with other people.

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So there are five main elements

in emotional intelligence, and

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the first one is self awareness.

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And obviously, we can be self aware,

but we can also be very unaware of

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things that trigger our emotional

dysregulation, of the impact of our

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behavior on other people, or of the

impact and our inability to prevent it.

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So when we work on emotional intelligence,

we can increase both our self awareness,

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recognition of our emotional triggers,

but we can also improve how we respond

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to things rather than just reacting.

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And when those things come together,

we're more likely to have some

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self acceptance and understanding.

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And those two things are crucial for being

able to live a really good life with ADHD.

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: 00:18:57

The second element of emotional

intelligence is self regulation, and we've

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already talked today about impulsivity.

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Last week we were talking about

myths and misinformation and how

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our impulsivity often leads us

to jump on these quick fix ideas.

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But impulsivity and Self regulation can

be improved the third aspect of emotional

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intelligence that can help with ADHD

is motivation and understanding what

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: 00:19:23

motivates us, how to motivate ourselves,

what the impact of motivation is and

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: 00:19:28

It's something that we can struggle

with, especially if we've had a lot of

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: 00:19:33

negative feedback, we're struggling to

finish things, we can become demotivated.

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Demotivation, I think, is one of

those great big energy sponges that

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: 00:19:43

just Sucks the joy out of the day.

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Being aware of how to motivate

yourself, what motivates you.

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Building that into your

toolkit is really important.

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: 00:19:52

The fourth element of emotional

intelligence is empathy.

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This is one that I think is more likely to

be a strength for many people with ADHD.

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: 00:20:02

The weakness we may have is

that we are too empathetic and

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: 00:20:07

our boundaries can be weak.

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: 00:20:09

We may find that we are overwhelmed by

the emotions of others and then we become

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: 00:20:13

flooded with too much emotional feedback.

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: 00:20:17

Understanding where empathy should be.

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: 00:20:20

Where it's healthy for you to be and

that might be different for you than

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: 00:20:24

it is for me, but recognizing your

empathy as a strength and putting a

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: 00:20:28

boundary in place for it is another

part of emotional intelligence

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: 00:20:32

And the last part of emotional

intelligence number five is social

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: 00:20:36

skills Generally social skills we

could all brush up on them, right?

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: 00:20:40

it's something that especially over

the last few years many of us have Let

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: 00:20:45

go a little bit, because we're hiding.

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: 00:20:48

We're in our safe space.

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: 00:20:49

We're at home.

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: 00:20:50

We are generally much more

comfortable and able to do what

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: 00:20:55

we like when we're at home.

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: 00:20:56

And some of the social skills might be

a challenge for us to re engage with.

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: 00:21:01

But emotional intelligence says

that social skills are crucial.

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: 00:21:05

And so does Dr.

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Kathleen Nadeau, who is one of my heroes.

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: 00:21:09

And the thing is that there's research

showing personality traits are not fixed.

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: 00:21:14

You might see yourself as

somebody who cannot change.

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: 00:21:17

You might feel that things are impossible.

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: 00:21:20

You can change and there's

really good techniques out there.

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: 00:21:24

It takes a little bit of time,

maybe more than you're expecting.

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: 00:21:28

You might need to change.

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: 00:21:29

More support than you were expecting,

but you can change if any of these

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: 00:21:33

areas feel like a particular challenge

for you and there are programmes

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: 00:21:37

and therapies which focus on

emotional intelligence development.

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: 00:21:41

Some of them are mindfulness

based interventions, some

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: 00:21:44

of them are CBT, Cognitive

Behavioural Therapy interventions.

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: 00:21:49

But improving our emotional intelligence

with ADHD can really change how you

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: 00:21:54

cope with emotional dysregulation,

with stress, and allows you to focus

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: 00:22:00

more on these positive emotions

that, as I said before, help you to

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: 00:22:03

rise up in this wonderful circle.

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: 00:22:05

How do you apply that emotional

intelligence to ADHD today, if

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: 00:22:10

you can't enrol in something?

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: 00:22:12

Thinking of number one,

self awareness, journaling.

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: 00:22:15

And journaling doesn't

have to mean writing.

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: 00:22:17

It can mean recording your

thoughts as you speak them aloud.

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: 00:22:20

If you're a verbal processor,

that's a very powerful way to do it.

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: 00:22:24

But journaling allows us to

improve our self awareness.

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: 00:22:27

You might want to use a note or

an app to track your emotions and

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: 00:22:32

responses to things throughout the day.

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: 00:22:34

You might notice that your

ADHD is affecting how you feel

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: 00:22:39

emotionally or vice versa.

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: 00:22:41

In improving your self regulation,

things like mindfulness,

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: 00:22:45

obviously, breathing practices,

and of course physical exercise.

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: 00:22:52

They all help us to manage impulsivity and

our emotional spikes, that dysregulation

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: 00:22:58

which we're more likely to experience.

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: 00:23:01

In terms of motivation, this one is

very personal, but sometimes we need to

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: 00:23:06

think about the low hanging fruit and

really celebrate the heck out of it.

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: 00:23:11

I'm keeping it very PG here.

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: 00:23:13

You might want to achieve a really

huge, massive stretch goal, but if

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: 00:23:18

you try to jump to the end of the

line before you've been able to

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: 00:23:22

do the daily thing consistently,

it's going to be really difficult,

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: 00:23:26

but learning how good you are.

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: 00:23:29

At the small thing that gets you along

that path is going to give you more

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: 00:23:33

motivation when you acknowledge it, when

you anchor it, when you celebrate it,

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: 00:23:39

when you share it with other people.

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: 00:23:40

Because with ADHD, we quite often

have a low frustration tolerance.

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: 00:23:45

If things are hard, we're

just going to give up.

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: 00:23:47

It's more common in ADHD.

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: 00:23:49

It's partly to do with that.

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: 00:23:52

Seeing the destination, but not being

able to visualize and experience

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: 00:23:56

the tiny steps that get you there.

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: 00:23:58

And if there's any barrier, if we jump too

many steps and get stuck, we can really

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: 00:24:03

quickly get frustrated and just give up.

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: 00:24:05

Learn how to celebrate

the low hanging fruit.

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: 00:24:07

Make it a big deal.

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: 00:24:09

There are ways to improve your

empathy empathy is something

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: 00:24:12

that often comes naturally.

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: 00:24:14

If it's not with other people,

we can experience empathy for

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: 00:24:17

things like dogs and cats.

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: 00:24:19

So if you're somebody who feels easier

to be empathetic about a dog suffering,

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: 00:24:24

you might want to spend a bit of time

doing perspective, taking exercises

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: 00:24:29

and thinking about how other people

are experiencing the same situation.

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: 00:24:33

But again, be aware of your boundaries

and if you're prone to being emotionally

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: 00:24:37

flooded by the pain of other people,

don't spend too much time on that.

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: 00:24:41

Instead, look at how can I set a boundary

for myself so that I'm not Kind of drag

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: 00:24:46

it down by the discomfort of other people

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: 00:24:48

Emotional intelligence gives us a

really good framework To think about

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: 00:24:52

how we can focus on building positive

emotions How we can improve our

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: 00:24:57

experience of daily life with ADHD,

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: 00:25:00

but it's something that takes time

It's not something we're going to be

402

: 00:25:03

able to do overnight, and that can be

difficult if you're working in isolation,

403

: 00:25:08

or you're not making it external so

you don't feel or see any difference.

404

: 00:25:14

You're not able to track

the output every single day.

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: 00:25:17

That makes a difference.

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: 00:25:19

And while we're talking about emotional

intelligence, I want to introduce an idea

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: 00:25:23

that I am developing and mentioned first

at the CHADD conference in December,

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: 00:25:29

which is about emotional acuity resonance.

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: 00:25:32

Yes, it makes a very nice acronym

EAR, E A R, but I wanted to

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: 00:25:38

offer it as a, an addition.

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: 00:25:40

to the idea of rejection sensitivity

or deficient emotional self regulation.

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: 00:25:47

Because I think there are some people

with ADHD who really do have great insight

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: 00:25:53

and awareness of other people's emotions.

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: 00:25:56

And when it's developed carefully

with boundaries and self

415

: 00:26:02

awareness and all these other

things, it can become a strength.

416

: 00:26:05

And obviously emotional acuity resonance

means that we are aware of the emotions

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: 00:26:12

of others and we have insight into them.

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: 00:26:14

Acuity means that we assess them,

understand them, interpret them

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: 00:26:18

accurately, and that's something is more

difficult if you're feeling dysregulated.

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: 00:26:24

But you're able to tune in and

understand the perspective, the

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: 00:26:28

emotional experience of other people.

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: 00:26:30

And resonance means that

we can tune into it.

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: 00:26:33

And when you're able to connect

with somebody on an emotional level,

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: 00:26:38

you're able to do remarkable things.

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: 00:26:41

And that doesn't have to

be in a therapy setting.

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: 00:26:44

If you're in a classroom.

427

: 00:26:46

If you are in an office, if you are

developing a product or a service,

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: 00:26:51

if you're studying at university, any

of these circumstances where we are

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: 00:26:56

required to connect with other people

and understand their perspective and

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: 00:27:01

their emotions, we can use this emotional

acuity resonance to tune in and to

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: 00:27:06

identify what is motivating people here.

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: 00:27:10

And I think when we're in a Time

where division seems to be absolutely

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: 00:27:16

rife and it feels like we're being

divided and pitted against one another.

434

: 00:27:21

This insight, this ability could be

something that people with ADHD can

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: 00:27:27

use to bring our society back together,

to allow people to communicate better,

436

: 00:27:33

To improve the lives of many people,

as well as from a kind of commercial

437

: 00:27:38

point of view, it can be useful in

things like marketing and sales and

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: 00:27:42

research and product development.

439

: 00:27:44

So again, if you're an employer, if

you have somebody with ADHD and they

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: 00:27:48

have this awareness, this insight,

this might be what you are noticing

441

: 00:27:53

and then, and if you're in a workplace

and you have this, you might.

442

: 00:27:56

Find that you're already using it.

443

: 00:27:58

You might be in HR, but you might

also be in things like understanding

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: 00:28:02

markets and what people want, what

customers need, customer relations.

445

: 00:28:07

It can be a real strength.

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: 00:28:08

Obviously, all the things I just talked

about with emotional intelligence

447

: 00:28:12

are useful in developing this

emotional acuity and resonance.

448

: 00:28:16

Things like journaling, self awareness,

thinking about how am I feeling, what's

449

: 00:28:21

impacting my emotions, developing

that awareness and almost that

450

: 00:28:26

acceptance and separation so that

you're not in the middle of the storm.

451

: 00:28:31

You're able to look at it.

452

: 00:28:32

From a helicopter's point of view

and say, Oh, I see what set that off.

453

: 00:28:37

When you can do that for yourself,

you're going to be more able

454

: 00:28:40

to do it for other people.

455

: 00:28:42

Whether that's in your family,

your workplace or your school.

456

: 00:28:45

And so I think, finishing up our look

at positive emotions and the role of our

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: 00:28:50

incredible gift to be able to be aware

of emotions, to develop our accuracy

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: 00:28:57

and understanding emotions, and then to

use the tools that you might be working

459

: 00:29:01

on just now in your own personal life

to support others, to bring people

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: 00:29:05

together, is a real strength in ADHD.

461

: 00:29:09

When we have a passion,

we really go for it.

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: 00:29:12

And I'm thinking of ADHD people who

have set up charities, who are creating

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: 00:29:18

social change, who are fighting

for people that maybe don't have

464

: 00:29:22

access to assessment, to medication

465

: 00:29:24

they range from small individual

groups in local areas all the way up

466

: 00:29:28

to big groups like ChadD and ADDA.

467

: 00:29:30

These are grassroots.

468

: 00:29:32

groups set up by people who have

ADHD, who recognize the challenges and

469

: 00:29:37

who bring that empathy into action.

470

: 00:29:40

That is the power of

positive emotion in action.

471

: 00:29:44

with ADHD.

472

: 00:29:45

And I just want to finish with a quote

from my mentor and coach, Jay Perry,

473

: 00:29:49

who says that coaching is love and

wonder that leads to effective action.

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: 00:29:55

And love and wonder are two of

the most powerful, emotions

475

: 00:29:59

that you can experience.

476

: 00:30:01

And I would invite you to think, how

can I experience them on a daily basis?

477

: 00:30:06

What attitude do I need to feel wonder?

478

: 00:30:09

When I look at things around me and

cultivate that as much as you can, and

479

: 00:30:14

you'll really quickly start to experience

the exponential growth of what is possible

480

: 00:30:20

and what is positive on a daily basis.

481

: 00:30:23

I hope that this little look at positive

emotions has been helpful for you.

482

: 00:30:28

I'm developing a toolkit, which I'm going

to share with you next week, all about How

483

: 00:30:33

to manage emotions, how to regulate your

emotions, how to focus on the positive

484

: 00:30:37

ones and how to make that visible for you.

485

: 00:30:40

I'm going to share it with you.

486

: 00:30:41

I want people to use it.

487

: 00:30:43

And let me know what more do you need?

488

: 00:30:46

What is it changing for you?

489

: 00:30:48

You can do it now with a notebook.

490

: 00:30:49

You don't need to wait.

491

: 00:30:51

You can start journaling.

492

: 00:30:52

You can start breathing.

493

: 00:30:54

You can start walking and exercising.

494

: 00:30:56

You can start recording these.

495

: 00:30:59

Bursts of joy on a daily basis.

496

: 00:31:01

These things you're grateful for.

497

: 00:31:02

And it can be, you know, one of my

clients called it the Maria list.

498

: 00:31:06

This idea of raindrops on

roses and whiskers on kittens.

499

: 00:31:10

Record things that spark that joy for you.

500

: 00:31:13

And just see what happens on it.

501

: 00:31:15

Just see what happens when we're

focusing on those moments of joy.

502

: 00:31:20

I really hope this was helpful

and got you thinking about ADHD

503

: 00:31:23

and emotions in a different way.

504

: 00:31:25

Let me know what you're

going to take forward.

505

: 00:31:28

What new insight did you

get from today's show?

506

: 00:31:30

Please email in.

507

: 00:31:32

I'd love to hear from you.

508

: 00:31:33

Share the episode if you want other people

who are maybe feeling a bit stuck, a bit

509

: 00:31:37

downhearted, who maybe don't believe that

things can change or that Thinking about

510

: 00:31:42

things in a more possible light is helpful

for their physical and mental health.

511

: 00:31:49

And I'll be back next week to round

up our look at ADHD and emotions with

512

: 00:31:54

a collection of the most powerful

and easy to implement tools that

513

: 00:31:58

you can use on a day to day basis.

514

: 00:32:01

Thank you again for listening

to ADHD Powerful Possibilities.

515

: 00:32:04

I'm ADHD coach Catherine and I'm so

grateful that you were here today.

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: 00:32:08

Until next time, take care.