About This Episode

Stepping back onto the mats after months or years away can feel daunting. Whether your layoff was caused by injuries, life changes, relocations, or gym closures, the hardest part of coming back is often the mental battle: imposter syndrome around your rank, fear of judgment, and the anxiety of gassing out.

In this episode of Tapped In, coach David Figueroa-Martinez breaks down why nobody is judging your return, how muscle memory works in your favor, and practical ways to pace your re-entry so you can stay healthy, protect your body, and fall in love with the art all over again.

3 Key Takeaways

• The Spotlight Effect Is an Illusion: Teammates aren't scrutinizing your rank, rustiness, or timing; they are genuinely excited to have a training partner back on the mats.
• Tactical Re-Entry Over Ego: Cap your training frequency, curate safe and trusted rolling partners, and prioritize defensive survival rounds while your cardio and timing recalibrate.
• Embrace New "Worthy Rivals": Your training partners may have progressed while you were away—reframe your benchmarks, release comparisons, and find new partners who challenge you productively.

Chapter Markers

• 00:00 – Introduction: Why Layoffs Happen to Everyone
• 01:10 – The Mental Hurdle: Imposter Syndrome & Rank Anxiety
• 02:00 – Personal Experience: Navigating the Extended Break
• 04:15 – The Gym Atmosphere: Why Nobody Is Judging You
• 06:00 – Managing the Gas Tank & Cardio Concerns
• 07:45 – Easing Back In: Playing Pure Defense
• 09:30 – Adapting to Gym Culture Shifts & New Faces
• 11:00 – Tactical Steps for Your Return: Pacing & Partner Selection
• 12:45 – Leaving Ego at the Door & Finding "Worthy Rivals"
• 14:30 – Final Thoughts: Community, Support, and Reconnecting

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David Figueroa-Martinez

Founder, DFM Coaching Bjj

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Full Transcript

**** Welcome to Tapped In. My name is David Figueroa-Martinez of DFM Coaching, and today we're going to be discussing coming back after a long layoff. This happens to all of us at some point, in some capacity, at some level in our Jiu-Jitsu journey. Sometimes they're our own decisions—maybe we had a layoff at work, we had a life change, we had a kid, we had a sick relative, a parent, maybe switched jobs, we moved. There's a host of reasons why this might happen.

**** For some of us—for most of us—it happened during COVID. But the difference during COVID was that the majority of us weren't training, so it didn't have that heavy decision of trying to come back and maybe having people second-guess our rank, or second-guess whether we should have come back, or worrying about opinions from other people, or our own opinions, our own biases, and concerns, and imposter syndrome, and whatnot.

**** These breaks are going to happen from time to time; sometimes they happen because of injury. When it happened to me, my biggest break was COVID. And again, I get it was nearly everyone had to do it, but my biggest break from Jiu-Jitsu was from COVID, and there was some concern, especially as an instructor. Because I was a brown belt at the time, it was worry that maybe I wasn't going to remember things, maybe I wasn't going to have the muscle memory in there, maybe I was going to have to like... how much rebuilding would I have to do? Because it was literally my longest break.

**** I have not had injuries that have put me on the shelf. I have not had life episodes, like I don't have any kids, that have kind of pulled me away from Jiu-Jitsu. I've been able to focus on it while being a hobbyist, but it wasn't something that I had these life-changing moments that took me away.

**** So COVID was the first one, and doing that at brown belt was a bit interesting, especially because, again, I was teaching kids, I was in a position where you're a little bit elevated because you're an instructor. And so I had concerns of like, what was I going to even look like? Because we were all gaining weight during COVID because we were at home, we weren't able to exercise, weren't able to do the things that we wanted to do, and we had to stay indoors and whatnot.

**** And so it was an interesting period. So I can relate in some sense, and part of this is going to be me just being empathetic to what I've seen from other students who have come back from injury or life-changing events. And so if maybe I'm a little off on this and there are things that I'm not considering, please point them out.

**** But I've had students who have had to take breaks, I've had students who have intentionally taken breaks because that's just what they do. And there's always this concern from my conversations with them. And when I try to entice them back, people think that there's a little bit of a spotlight on them and that everyone is going to judge them when they return. "Oh, why did you leave?" or "Why did you take this time off?" Or they're going to look at them in a... especially if you're coming back and it's been a while and you got a lot of new faces, or you're coming back to a new spot, maybe you moved.

**** And people are going to look at your rank and you're a blue, purple, brown belt, maybe even black, and it's been 6 months, 12, 2, 3 years, and you're coming back with that same rank, doesn't quite feel right to you, and you might be worried that people are going to be judging your skill level because you hold that rank. And we have a view of, "Oh, people are supposed to move a certain way, and they're supposed to have a certain level of skill," that maybe does not reflect you currently.

**** Most of us are going to have some of those moments. And I've had training partners who have come back from long layoffs, and the first thing I noticed is, yeah, they're rusty. They're not at the level that they once were, and that's fine. But there's also a lot of muscle memory in there. And from the conversations that I've had in my own re-entry into Jiu-Jitsu after COVID, I didn't have the big letdown that I had built up in my head.

**** And in my head, it was like, "Oh, I'm going to suck, I'm going to feel like this, and people are going to start wrecking me," and this and that. Yeah, there's going to be some rust, there's some layoff, your body's going to feel a little weird, your body's going to feel more banged up, your cardio is going to be trash. Like, there's things that are going to be missing. But your body remembers far more than you give it credit for.

**** And more importantly, the people around you, honestly, we don't give a shit. We're just happy you're back. Like, I've had people who have come back from long layoffs who are like, "Yeah, I'm a little nervous of what people are going to think." I'm like, "They're genuinely just going to be happy to see you. They don't care." And if you're at a new spot, they're just happy there's a new training partner. And as you guys talk, someone's going to ask, "How long you been training?" And you'd be like, "Yeah, I've been training for this long, I got my blue belt and such and such, but I've been off a year and a half, so I'm trying to get back into it."

**** That's it. No one else is going to... people aren't going to judge you. People aren't going to look at you like, "Why does this person have this blue belt?" and nay this and that. No, we all have empathy and we can kind of relate to having to take breaks or time off, or having to maybe focus on something else that was more important and more pertinent at the time, which is completely fine. Your skill doesn't necessarily completely erode.

**** And so while timing and some other things need to be reinforced, people are just genuinely happy to have you back. And then your body is going to feel good having that connection to Jiu-Jitsu again, and you're going to feel happy. And more than likely—I don't want to speak for everybody, some people generally just fall out of love with Jiu-Jitsu and don't want to do it anymore, fair.

**** But that was one of the biggest things when I came back. What I tried to do was not throw up. Because I remember coming back, I hadn't done any cardio. I had done some workouts with the kettlebells, I felt like I was in decent shape strength-wise, but I knew my cardio was going to suck. And getting back on the mats, I knew that was going to be a big problem. And so I took it really slow.

**** I took it really slow, and my thought process was—I didn't take any rounds off, but my thought process was—I'm just going to be playing defense. That is it. No offensive for me, I'm just going to be playing defense, I'm going to let them do what they need to do. And as I feel more comfortable defending and my cardio starts to come up a little bit, then I'm going to open up the offense more.

**** But my biggest hurdle and my biggest worry or fear was, "Oh, I'm going to have to throw up in a bucket." That was my fear, and I didn't want that. I really didn't want that. And there were some people who came back and the class was just harder than their body had expected and they had to go throw up somewhere. That was part of it, but no one judged. We just kind of all understood what it was.

**** So as you come back, you're going to have to confront a couple of fears, like I mentioned—a little bit of imposter syndrome when it comes to your rank. No one's judging you. You might have a little bit in the beginning where they were like, "Oh, this person doesn't feel like a blue belt, or this person doesn't feel like a purple or brown." And when you start talking, that goes away because, "Oh, you took a long break. Makes sense." I've had training partners that did that. I've had people who I was rolling with who had taken several years off and they were coming back and they had shared that they were concerned, and I'd be like, "Dude, I'm just happy you're here. Like, whatever. You're going to get back into it, it's going to feel more normal."

**** And again, the gas tank was my highest anxiety. And then like, there's a little bit of a like, what is your identity coming back? Because when I was coming back, I was an instructor and I wanted to maintain that role or that view of me, and I don't know if that's a healthy thing or not. But like, you're coming back to, in essence, maybe a new gym. And I mean physically a new gym if you've moved, but also the gyms change.

**** If I'm looking back at the gyms that I've been a part of, dude, they went through so many different phases. Like the gym as a whole is the same thing, but people left, people came back, people moved—especially being in a military town like San Diego, we get a lot of people that are in the military, they get deployed or they get stationed somewhere else, or they get out of the military and they're gone. So we genuinely have quite a bit of that. And you get all these new faces, and it's like, "Where do I fit in?"

**** And there's a little concern of that, but we all find our own footing and we make our own ground and make friends again. But I can see the concerns of any one of these: the concern of rank imposter syndrome, the gas tank, the identity of where do I fit in. I understand all of it. But again, it goes away. It really does go away, especially if you're in a positive environment where the coach genuinely just wants people to train and wants people who are there to take care of one another. You're going to be at a spot that the training partners are just going to be happy to have you. They're going to be happy to have a different face, a different style, a different approach. They're going to probably start asking you questions about some stuff you're doing, because we all do things differently than one another.

**** And there is very to little judgment in these locations and in these gyms that are about this. I've had friends that have been in competitive gyms and they've come back from an injury or something, and they fit right in. Everything's back to normal. Because if you have an inviting, welcoming gym, a positive gym, there isn't going to be any of the negative shit hanging around. There isn't going to be any of the "Why did you take that time off?" or "Why were you gone?" or "Who is this person?" You don't get any of that.

**** So as you come back, my tactical approach would be: cap your intensity levels. If you're going to be training, you don't have to come back to a full schedule. If beforehand you were doing 4 or 5 days a week, let's just do two. If you want to do more than that, maybe some of those days you don't spar. Maybe some of those days you only play bottom guard. Maybe some of those days you only roll with certain people because you know they're going to be understanding and trusting of your body and your situation.

**** Probably not the best thing to go against the super high-level, aggressive competitor. That's not a fun thing to have to endure as you return. Maybe not good going against some wild new white belt. So curate who you're training with. Pick those people who are really going to be protective of you, your cardio, your abilities, your confidence levels, in a way, so that it is just a fun roll. It's not going to be too taxing, not going to be a fight for your life where you start to breathe heavy and then none of it feels fun. It's going to be a fun moment of two friends or a couple of friends just rolling around on the mat, being silly and having fun and catching up, so it feels more like a reunion.

**** Leave your ego at the door. If you are a higher rank and you're coming back, there's going to be some things that have changed. Your cardio is not going to be there, like I mentioned. Your timing is not going to be there. There's going to be moments where your body's going to hesitate, when before everything may have been on autopilot because of so much muscle memory. While a lot of it's still going to be there, there's a lot that has to be regained and recalibrated.

**** Additionally, you may have remembered certain training partners that were certain ranks—now they're better than you. Now they're a little more advanced than you. Now they're in positions where they've been training this entire time and you're trying to get your footing back in. If you're worried about how you were comparing yourself to certain training partners who have now left you in the dust, you just got to recalibrate and find new worthy rivals.

**** A worthy rival to me is someone that is right around your level. It doesn't have to be your specific belt, it doesn't have to be your specific size and weight, but just someone that can give you a competitive roll without completely destroying you or that you destroy them. And those worthy rivals are going to change. Sometimes they're going to be this guy, that girl, that person, and then a few months pass, maybe you get better and you have new healthy rivals, or sometimes they pass you and you got to pick different healthy rivals.

**** So be mindful that some people that you used to wreck or beat regularly are probably on your level or passed, and that is perfectly fine. We're all going to go through it on both ends. There's going to be times when you will have gotten over this and someone else is going to get injured, or someone else is going to have a life episode where they got to step away from Jiu-Jitsu, and then when they come back, you give them that same love and care that they gave you when you came back.

**** So really, just have fun. I don't think anyone's judging, anyone's eyeing you. I know it's a big, uncomfortable step to have to come back to something that you were once so normal or regular in, and then things just feel odd or feel different. Find a training partner or a coach, someone that can kind of guide you through this step. Find a community that is really going to embrace you regardless of whether you were away for a couple of months or a couple of years.

**** Jiu-Jitsu has been such a big thing for me that my goal is often to help as many people get into it or back into it as possible. I want people to enjoy what we're doing, and I want people to enjoy the art for what it is and the benefits that it's going to give you, without all that extra weight of expectations and concerns.