We’re calling out the tiny habits that quietly steal your confidence, the ones you barely notice, but feel every single day.

Over-apologizing. Downplaying your wins. Shrinking to keep the peace. Comparing yourself to everyone and their mother online. Waiting for permission you don’t even need.

These habits don’t make you weak, they make you human.

But now that you can see them, you get to change them.

Inside this episode, Yaya breaks down:

• why these micro-habits drain your confidence without you realizing it

• how childhood, fear of judgment, and low self-worth often fuel them

• the simple language shifts that make you sound (and feel) more powerful

• how to catch yourself in the moment and choose something better

• what happens when you STOP shrinking and start standing in your actual value

If you’re tired of feeling stuck, discouraged, or “not enough,” this is your reset.

You don’t need to become a new woman, you just need to let go of the habits that convince you you’re not already her.

Ready to take this deeper?

Apply for 1:1 coaching (Journey to Confidence).

Hey, girl.

Hey.

Welcome back to Notes to her, the daily pep talk.

I'm Yaya here to help you stop shrinking, start owning your worth and show up like the woman you were always meant to be.

Last time we talked about rising after life knocks you down.

How to rebuild confidence after a setback.

No, it can be tough, I know, because I've lived it.

But it is totally possible.

And once you're standing again, there's something that can quietly knock you back down.

It's those little habits that seem harmless but slowly tip away at your self belief.

Now, most women aren't struggling because they're not capable.

They're struggling because they're exhausted from the tiny ways they keep giving away their confidence.

It's not the big breakdowns that hold us back.

It's the quiet moments where we say sorry when we didn't do anything wrong.

Or when we bite our tongue in a meeting.

Or when we scroll through social media and suddenly feel behind.

Or when we run into an old friend that we haven't seen in a while and we instantly start comparing ourselves to her.

These are the hidden habits that drain your confidence before the world even gets a chance to.

And today I'm calling it out with love, but also with truth.

So let's start with a big one.

And that is over apologizing.

You bump into someone and you say oh, sorry.

Rightfully so.

But then someone bumps into you and again, here you are.

Oh, sorry.

You share your opinion.

Sorry if that didn't make sense.

Listen, you are allowed to take up space.

Apology should come from accountability, not insecurity.

And here's the thing.

Most women who over apologize aren't weak.

They're overly aware.

They grew up in environments where being liked felt safer than being honest.

Where saying sorry first kept the peace.

Or they had to shrink themselves just to avoid conflict.

Now, I used to work with somebody just like this.

She constantly apologized for things that didn't even require an apology.

And at first it drove me crazy.

But then I realized she wasn't being annoying.

She had been conditioned.

Conditioned to believe that her presence was a burden, that she had to earn her right to exist comfortably.

And once I saw that, I had compassion for her and for every woman who's learned to lead with sorry instead of thank you.

So here's a quick mindset flip.

When you catch yourself saying sorry out of habit, replace it with thank you.

Sorry for the delay becomes thank you for your patience.

Sorry I'm such a mess today becomes thank you for bearing with me.

You shift from Guilt to gratitude.

And gratitude carries power.

Know another sneaky confidence killer?

Shrinking to make other people comfortable.

You know that moment when somebody compliments you and you deflect?

Oh, this old thing.

Or it was nothing.

I get it.

It can be hard to accept compliments when you don't feel good about yourself.

I've learned that women that have that low self esteem often have a hard time receiving praise.

Not because they don't want to, but because deep down they don't feel deserving of it.

Like when you have a win and you downplay it because you don't want to feel too proud.

This one I've had to learn the hard way.

And if I'm being real, I am still learning it.

Humility doesn't mean hiding.

You can be confident and kind, proud and grounded.

The world doesn't need you to dim your light.

It needs you to stop apologizing for shining.

When you shrink yourself, you teach others to expect less from you.

And worse, you start expecting less from yourself.

So the next time you get a compliment, practice saying two words.

Thank you.

Period.

No explanation, no downplay.

Just ownership.

Now this other one is very real.

Especially for women with big dreams.

You might be scrolling online and suddenly your steady pace feels like failure.

You see someone's launch, their promotion, or their glow up and you start wondering, why not me?

But comparison is a lie.

It tells you that someone else's timeline invalidates yours.

It tricks you into thinking you're behind when you're becoming.

You don't see the nights that they might have doubted themselves.

The tears, the rejections, the pivots.

You're only seeing their highlight reel, not the behind the scenes.

So here's a mantra for your comparison moment.

I am not behind.

I'm in progress.

Say it out loud, even if it feels awkward.

Because your brain can't argue with a voice that's certain.

This one hits deep.

So many of us are waiting for someone to tell us we're ready.

The mentor, the boss, the partner, the universe.

But sometimes the permission you're waiting for is the permission you need to give yourself.

You don't have to feel ready to start.

You just have to be willing to begin.

Let me say that again.

You don't have to be ready to start.

You have to be willing to begin.

Because confidence doesn't come before action.

It grows because of it.

Now, if any of these habits sound familiar, don't beat yourself up.

Awareness truly is the first step towards change.

Every woman I coach, from the one starting her business to the one climbing the corporate ladder has carried one of these habits at some point, myself included.

It doesn't mean that you're broken.

It means that you're human.

But now you get to see it.

You get to choose differently.

You get to speak kindly to yourself.

You get to celebrate your wins out loud.

You get to stop apologizing for being powerful.

But that's the real glow up when you finally believe that you deserve the space that you're already standing in.

Today I want you to do something.

Stop waiting for confidence to find you.

Start removing the habits that keep you from seeing you already have it.

If this episode hit home, I would love to hear from you.

Send me a message on IG or Threads at Coaching with Yaya and tell me which habit that you are releasing this week.

And if you're ready to go deeper to rewrite your confidence story from the inside out, you are invited to apply for my one to one coaching program, Journey to Confidence.

Because confidence isn't about becoming somebody new.

It's about coming home to who you've been all along.

Now next up, we're going to be building on this with note 13 stick step into her the Future youe It is one of my favorite practices and I cannot wait to walk you through it.

So I'll see you there.