For 21 days I committed to spending 20 minutes each morning sitting in absolute silence. This was different from any meditation practice I had ever tried before, and as a woman who has been told her entire life to “tone it down” silence isn’t exactly my strong suit. 

So, what happened? Did I fail? Did I make it to day 21? Did I have any epiphanies? Listen in to find out. 

Drink of the week:Sleeping Lotus

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Ah, so you've come to hear about my 21 day meditation journey.

Did I fail?

Did I even make it, did they, 21?

Did I have any epiphanies?

Welcome to episode 1 24 of this shit works.

A podcast dedicated to all things, networking, relationship

building and business development.

I'm your host, Julie Brown.

Professional speaker.

Author and networking coach.

And today I am disgusting.

My 21 day meditation journey.

First.

Yes, I did make it through all 21 days of the meditation journey.

And a lot of things happened in my life.

In those 21 days, including Halloween parties, flights to multiple keynotes and

the heartbreaking loss of my dog voice.

Prior to starting the 21 day practice.

I had decided that I would do my meditation in the morning.

I would do it after I worked out and got ready for work.

But before I ate breakfast,

Each meditation lasted just over 20 minutes with a few

extra minutes of instruction.

There were days I looked forward to the meditation and there were days

when it seemed like just another event on my calendar that I had to do.

These were the days I called it my fucking meditation as in, oh, I

forgot to do my fucking meditation.

Oh, I need to do my fucking meditation.

There were days like that.

Yup.

And then there were days where I looked forward to it.

I looked forward to sitting in silence.

Yeah.

Silence.

This is what surprised me about this particular meditation technique.

There was no sound, no music, no Tibetan singing bowls.

No body scan during the meditation, just sitting in silence.

Repeating a stillness sound in your head.

On the first day we were given the stillness sound.

We began by saying the sound out loud, a number of times, and then slowly

saying it softer and softer until ultimately we were just saying the

sound inside of our heads on repeat.

This was the first day.

And I was surprised by the lack of guidance, no body scans from head

to toe, no imagining a warm light.

No queues to unclench my jaw.

Nothing.

This is going to be difficult.

I thought.

You see.

I like a little distraction in my meditation, someone to remind

me how badly I'm doing it.

Each meditation after that day began with a little lesson about, you

know, Two to six minutes describing something we might experience in

the meditation or when you should meditate or something, or the other.

On the second day, we jumped right into the meditation and Tom reminded

us to repeat the stillness sound in her head through the entire 20 minutes.

of us sitting in outward silence with our eyes closed.

It was at this point that I had realized I had forgotten the stillness sound.

Yeah, I had repeated it for 20 minutes the day before, but fuck all.

If I could remember it now.

So I spent the entire 20 minutes trying to remember what the sound

was playing with different sounds in my head going, oh, is that it?

Oh no, that sounds wrong.

Is this right?

Is this it.

Not a very relaxing meditation.

If you know what I mean.

So afterwards, I went back to the first lesson so I could hear the stillness sound

again, and then I committed it to memory.

It took until a day for, for me to go through the entire 20

minutes without opening my eyes.

But that didn't mean I was getting good at it.

My mind was still wandering all over the place.

And multiple times my dog, Matty stepped on me or smelled my face when I

was meditating, which was distracting.

And the fifth day was a good meditation.

I didn't open my eyes and I felt relaxed when I finished.

Ah, this is what it's supposed to feel like.

I thought.

On day nine, I had an epic fail.

My leg fell asleep in the middle of the meditation.

That's all I could think about.

I opened my eyes a million times.

The clock just seemed to be dragging on and on forever.

I had a cold, so I was coughing and blowing my nose.

It was not a good day.

But the following day.

Day 10 was great.

We're for the first time.

You know, the timer went off and I was actually like, wow,

that went by really fast.

I could have just kept sitting here in silence.

I was really enjoying myself.

A few days later, I tried to meditate at the airport while I waited for

an early morning flight to St.

Louis.

I tried.

I really tried, but the fucking girl next to me, kept picking up

her water bottle and slamming it into the cup holder at her seat.

Literally shaking the entire row of seats.

That I happened to be in while she watched videos on her iPad without earphones.

I don't know, maybe the meditation was helping me because normally in

a situation like this, I would have had a choice, few words for that

girl, but I didn't say anything.

I just tried to repeat the stillness sound in my head, even though

my mind was anything, but still.

The next day, I tried to meditate in a hotel room.

Epic fail.

That's all I'm going to say.

It was around this time in the program that Tom started teasing

us, that we should be meditating.

Twice a day.

Twice a day.

He mentioned that the day is made up of 70 to 20 minute segments, and

we should be able to dedicate two of these segments to meditation every day.

To which I answered.

No fucking way, buddy.

I'm having a hard time fitting these 20 minutes into my morning.

As it is, forget trying to add another 20 minutes somewhere else in the day.

During the next week, he tried to encourage me that two meditation

sessions a day were doable and that there would be increased benefits.

I didn't bite.

The rest of the program was more of the same, some good days, some terrible days.

With three days left in the program, our dog Royce passed away.

The three meditations I did after that were sad.

They're fucking brutal.

I just cried.

I just cried.

I just sat there and all I could think about was him.

I will not lie.

I have not meditated one day since the program ended.

I've thought about doing it.

But I haven't.

I do think it was helpful, but like I said, I thought 20 minutes was a

long time to dedicate each morning.

If the meditations were like 10 minutes I most likely would have stuck with it.

Well, I go back.

Yeah, I actually do think I will, but I need to find a better way to fit it

into my daily schedule because it did add what felt like a significant delay

in getting to the office each morning.

I will say that I did like the lessons and how Tom describes meditation and

what we might be feeling each week.

A number of the lessons coincide with something that I was

experiencing during the meditation.

So I thought that was really dealt well done in a very good intro

to the meditation as a whole.

I also liked that he didn't tell me to clear my mind.

I had the stillness sound to use whenever my mind wandered or

thoughts came barging into my brain, which happened all of the time.

And I was comforted by the fact that every day before we started the practice,

he said that was going to happen.

And it was completely normal.

I think all the meditations I've tried before made me think that I was doing it

wrong because I couldn't stop my mind.

And I couldn't stop thought thoughts from coming into that space.

So, yes, I liked it.

Yes.

Some days I called it.

my fucking meditation and yes, I will probably go back to it and try to make

it a more permanent part of my day.

Just not today.

Okay.

Onto the drink of the week, which is called the sleeping Lotus.

Here's what you're going to need.

Um, a couple ounces of dry gin, one ounce of almond syrup.

Three-fourths ounce of lemon juice, two dashes of orange,

orange, bitters, and a mint spray.

You're going to compliant all of that gradients ingredients

in a cocktail shaker.

At ice and shake until chilled.

Um, like 10 seconds strain into a Collins glass that's filled with crushed ice.

And then stir it to incorporate with the ice and then top that with a mint spray.

They also say, you know what, to make it a little bit more like Zen like

garnish it with an edible Oregon, but like, honestly, I'm sure it's fine.

All right friends.

That's all for this week.

If you like what you heard today, please leave a review

and subscribe to the podcast.

Also, please remember to share the podcast to help it reach a larger audience.

If you want more, Julie Brown, you can find my book.

The shit works on Amazon or Barnes and noble or in the.

Show notes below.

You can find me on LinkedIn at Julie Brown BD.

Just let me know where you found me when you reach out.

And I am Julie Brown underscore BD on Instagram, or you can

just pop on over to my website.

Julie Brown, bd.com.

Until next week.