I’ve been around sports my entire life. I’ve covered some of the biggest games on the biggest stages. But there’s something uniquely intense, and uniquely tender, about youth sports. Because when it’s your child out there, everything feels different.

Jeff Francoeur knows that shift firsthand. Jeff has seen the game from every angle: 12 years in the majors, a World Series appearance, and now a career in broadcasting. But the most revealing perspective? Watching his own daughter look toward him after a strikeout.

In this episode, Jeff opens up about youth sports culture, early burnout, and the mental side of athletics we don’t talk about enough. He shares the moment his daughter told him he crushed her confidence, and how that changed everything about the way he coaches. Jeff also shares about how these experiences led to Pure Athlete and a passion for helping others focus on what matters in youth sports.

We talk about travel teams, unrealistic expectations, the pressure parents feel, and why middle school is a pivotal turning point. Most of all, we talk about letting kids develop a love for the game before layering on performance.

What You’ll Discover:

1. Watching your own kid step to the plate (07:54)
2. What kids actually want from sports (11:16)
3. The three stages of youth sports development (13:28)
4. Why passion has to come first (27:07)
5. The “hat off” rule for the car ride home (29:02)
6. Jeff’s thoughts on specializing in youth sports (47:38)

At its core, this episode isn’t just about baseball or youth sports. It’s about protecting joy. It’s about perspective. It’s about remembering that the goal isn’t just raising strong athletes; it’s raising confident, resilient humans.

If this episode makes you rethink your next sideline moment, share it with a fellow parent. And if you’re loving these honest conversations, subscribe, rate, and review Things No One Tells You.

Check out more from Jeff Francoeur and Pure Athlete:

Follow Pure Athlete on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/pureathleteinc/

Follow Pure Athlete on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@pureathleteinc

Subscribe to their show on Apple Podcast and Spotify

Check their website: PureAthlete.com

Follow Jeff on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jefffrancoeur/

You can watch this interview on YouTube: https://youtu.be/SBBYDyYLQlI

For a full transcript and more, check out our blog post: https://www.lindsaycz.com/show-notes/jeff-francoeur-35

TNOTY Episodes Mentioned in Interview:

“Staying Grounded in the NFL Spotlight with Colts QB Daniel Jones” https://www.lindsaycz.com/show-notes/daniel-jones-23

“Winning the Indy 500 with Álex Palou” https://www.lindsaycz.com/show-notes/alex-palou-03

[00:00:21] But how can coaches, how can parents make their kid feel valued? Where I might not be the home run hitter on the team, right? In the NBA, I might not score 35 points, but I can be the best defensive player in the league and make millions of dollars. I can shut down someone. So I think that they, no one tells you kids, want to feel valued.

[00:00:43] Lindsay: I have been waiting a long time to have this conversation on things no one tells you about youth sports. And when I had the chance to do it with. A star like Jeff Francoeur. I was like, this is amazing. Okay, so you guys, I can't wait to share this conversation and the things that came out of this from Jeff's perspective, 'cause it really helped me.

[00:01:33] So countriesThat are places that, you know, they, the athletes come, maybe they've got one athlete, but they don't have, they're not known for prowess or participation in the Winter Olympics. And what was so awesome about it was that the whole thing was built on Yes. When they win medals, it's surprising and really special, but just being there is the thing.

[00:02:12] And please, let's not lose sight of the fact that when we're talking about youth sports and navigating kids, even if they've got monster talent that you can see, that's exciting at the core of it. It's about the journey, right? And it's about getting there and honing in on that excellence in a way that also helps these kids feel like they are being seen and that they're able to have fun at what they're doing.

[00:03:02] You know, also the most helpful, but they do it through their podcast, which is amazing, and using just their platform in general, which is super, super cool. Jeff. is a major League baseball superstar. Played for several teams, notably the Atlanta Braves. Heis now a broadcaster for T-B-S-M-L-B broadcast.

[00:03:40] And it was so great to talk to him. He was about to get started in this broadcast journey. And anyway, we connected there. So he, when we had the chance to, did this conversation; he really came to the table with all of these just incredible thoughts. And he gets really honest about now the fact that he's a dad and a coach, for his own kids, nd about what's most important.

[00:04:21] So Major League Baseball superstar, Jeff Ur talking about youth sports. Jeff, it is so good to talk to you. I'm so excited to cover a lot of different things, but first of all, it is wonderful that the last time I saw you was a few years ago and we were, and you were with the Atlanta Braves traveling, right?

[00:04:39] Jeff: I was, yes.

[00:04:48] Jeff: Man, it was great. So I was actually, I think that was like when I just got into announcing Yes. And so my wife and I think I had three, I think she was pregnant, maybe with a fourth at that time, but I had to go to the field like four, and she's like, do not leave me by myself.

[00:05:11] Lindsay: You're in it.

[00:05:12] Lindsay: You're in it. So, what is your daily schedule like? How do you? What is your schedule these days?

[00:05:25] Like, I'm home all the time, which is great. Like we do family dinners every night. We're, you know, doing stuff with the kids. And then I just actually Reed, re-upped for three years with TBS to take me through the end of 28. Thank you. So I'll start doing the Tuesday night. Games of the week, but it just works great with my schedule.

[00:05:52] Lindsay: I remember when I saw you, yeah. You were getting ready for itan d I feel like. I know that you're confident, but it was, you kind of didn't know how it was gonna be.

[00:06:03] Lindsay: What did you expect?

[00:06:33] Tom Brady got under center. He was never insecure. Yes. He got behind that microphone, and I remember Kevin Burkhart telling me he was like, white as a ghost. He was so nervous. And so that's the thing. But it takes reps, and it's really been a great second career for me, and I've really enjoyed it.

[00:06:52] How's that been?

[00:07:10] Like, I'm like, how did that? But it makes you appreciate the players and how good they are because the game of baseball, I mean, you've been around it, is so tough, and you fail constantly.

[00:07:34] Jeff: Yeah, exactly. They say, you know, baseball is a team sport, but ultimately, you were there to hit. It's you versus the pitcher. There's nothing your teammate can do to help you outwith all this stuff. So yeah, I mean, it is so that if anything, it's taught me to appreciate the talent that these players have.

[00:07:54] Jeff: I was able to do it back in the day, and it's funny now 'cause my daughter's 12, you know, and she's a really good softball player. But I'm like, will you freak, will you freaking listen to me? Like, I know what I'm talking about. We're paying for her to get hitting lessons from someone else.

[00:08:22] Lindsay: That's so cool. You know what? It's funny.

[00:08:50] Like now? It gave me a different perspective on how the wives must feel, how like, and I, 'cause I was just like, you know, my mom heart's like, ah, A, you don't want him to get hit, but b I'm like, you know, you, you strike out and you're just like, oh God, is he okay? You know.

[00:09:09] Like that they are. And, even though they do things at an amazing level, you know, I carried the, I covered the postseason last year, with the nationally and Milky Bets had the worst postseason and. He's unbelievable. He's one of the best players. But what I loved about Mookie was seeing everything he did push towards the team, and we're winning, we're doing great.

[00:09:37] Lindsay: Oh, I love that.

[00:09:39] Lindsay: I love that. Okay, so you have the, a platform Pure Athlete that you've now done for a few years. It is amazing.

[00:09:51] Jeff: Yeah, so there are two guys that live in Atlanta who are older than me. They've had kids go through college, tennis, different things, you know, and so they've been talking about this for like four years. And I got into some, you know, speaking for different companies, different things I do.

[00:10:24] You know, my son, who, as I told you, I have two sons. My one 10-year-old son hates baseball. Wants nothing to do with it, can't stand. And so we do lacrosse, we do football. Like he loves it, but it was like, so I'm getting into all this and I was telling him all this and he is like, you know, we talked about starting a podcast and doing something and at that time, you know, I was still doing like a hundred games for the Braves and TBS and my kids were getting older, so I stepped back from the Braves and I do like 20 home games just here in Atlanta when I got nothing going on.

[00:11:16] Like, completely crazy. And I feel like in youth sports, 80% of parents want the same thing for their kids, right? Like they, they want them to have fun, they want them, but there are these other sides that are pulling them, telling them they're being, their kid's gonna be left behind if they don't do lessons at nine years old.

[00:11:53] Lindsay: Yeah, I mean,y u, it's like really striking a nerve. It's sort of, it's striking. Vulnerability in people, and it's also hitting on the thing no one tells you, right? Yeah. So, from your perspective, what is the thing no one tells you that you have learned from your journey?

[00:12:22] And I think one thing coaches don't do a great job of is making every kid feel valued. Like, you know, I coached my 12-year-old girl's softball team. I could ask them, so I did this with my daughter last year. I gave her a pen and I got a pen. I was like, you write the batting order for our 11 girls that you would do, and I'm gonna do it for what I wanna do as a coach.

[00:13:04] I might not. I might not shoot. You know, it's like in the NBA, I might not score 35 points, but I can be the best defensive player in the league, make millions of dollars. I can shut down someone. So I think that thing no one tells you is that kids wanna feel valued. They all do not wanna be the best. They want to know they're on a team and feel valued.

[00:13:28] Jeff: So I categorize. Pure Athlete. Three different stages, like the kindergarten through fifth grade, where, man, I think it's all about development. Kids learning how to play, learning what, you know, force play is learning what a two- three zone defense is teaching nothing but the game.

[00:14:01] Lindsay: Yeah.

[00:14:20] Like if you're a sophomore, junior, and you know you can play in college, like go for it, man., implore parents like, go for it. Then, if that means you have to go to Colorado for four days for a camp, like do it. But these kids now, I don't know how much, you know, like they're traveling to Colorado from DC with a nine-year travel baseball team, and I'm like, what are we doing?

[00:14:53] Jeff: So I'm also an optimist. I am like that,

[00:15:01] A couple of things. I think that, having a middle schooler, I love hearing that breakdown of ages because you're exactly right. It's like what we've started to see is whether it's baseball or basketball, basketball for us has been interesting, 'cause you start to realize that kids are really getting into maybe more of what they like at that age.

[00:15:40] Yeah. So, right. So then it's like, to your point, the realization that like, okay, you need the, whatever it is, the training or maybe the outside help, and certainly the practice all the time. But I think that is really interesting. And do you think that? At what age do you think it's important to consider sort of that outside training?

[00:16:05] Jeff: Well, I have all these parents that are like, my kid gets a hitting lesson at nine years old, or like there's a, yeah, there's a 9-year-old kid doing QB lessons twice a week. And I'm like, I just don't, I personally, I've asked my dad this 'cause I was a great athlete.

[00:16:38] She's going through puberty. So I'm like, she understands hitting now, she understands her body, what she can do. I don't think that at nine years old, kids can, I think it's parents, take your kid to the cages, you know, like your singles out and shoot baskets for an hour. Like I, you can't be with them at all times.

[00:17:11] I'll drive you. I drive her in traffic in Atlanta, do this. But I'm like, I also need to see. The next day or the following day, you're in the backyard doing some of these drills that they're teaching you. And if you do that, I will continue to take you, and let's do this as long as your heart desires.

[00:17:37] Lindsay: What, so I love what you do with Pure Athlete and on the podcast, where you do, yes. You have former players, and they share their stories. Yeah. Can you share, were you a workhorse when you were eight or nine?

[00:17:56] Jeff: No, my dad will tell you I have an older brother and older sister, and my dad will be like, they work twice as hard as you.

[00:18:17] So again, that's another thing to parents, like sometimes, like you look at this and like. God gave me an ability; he touched my head and gave me an ability to do some things that other people can't, that my brother and sister never could. And they worked even harder than I did. Now I grew into that where I loved it.

[00:18:54] Lindsay: Yeah. And it's really fascinating. I spent some time working in IndyCar, and we just had an opportunity to talk to a lot of these drivers ahead of the season. And I was sort of connecting these dots of like, what makes these guys tick? And the champion who has won multiple championships, Alex Palou.

[00:19:13] Lindsay: Everyone was talking about him. They're like, we don't know how he does what he does, and no one can beat him. And it's like the guy just has it, but he also does everything. Right. Yep. And they were using words like maximize, and he's precise, and he's this and he's that. And also though every one of those guys brought up the importance of the team.

[00:19:51] Jeff: You have bad chemistry, you're not winning. Like I've seen clubhouses be torn down because of bad culture, bad chemistry, and then you've seen teams with lesser talent, but have great chemistry.

[00:20:21] Every, there wasn't one interview. That any player gave the impression that it was about them. Everything was about the team, the culture, the fans. And I'm like, so you know what? They buy into that? They have the talent. Look what happened. And it was incredible that

[00:20:38] Yeah. And what he did there was bananas, and yes, I agree fully. It's like, you don't, it's a secret, special type of belief, you know, so your journey then. You're obviously, you know, an amazing player, and then what happened? What was your trajectory once you hit your middle school years?

[00:21:03] Everybody does it. Okay. Everybody, I mean, you know, Billy Wagner from up in Virginia, they bring their teams down all the time, like it's big-time competition. The great thing for me was that my dad continued to play with me, with my buddies at home. Now we were on a travel team. We got our, we got waxed, like we went to these tournaments and we got beat down pretty good because everybody else was bringing kids in from everywhere, but we were playing in high-level tournaments, right?

[00:21:50] But like, I want my kids to have that. It was the greatest time. And my wife was like, I saw such joy for you and me, all my buddies, they went on to be, you know, one's a teacher, one is an anesthesiologist, one like they are very successful, but they never made it. They never played college, they never played.

[00:22:28] So, like, family dynamic was huge for us. So my dad's like, we're not traveling for a week and leaving your mom and those two at home to do whatever. Like, we're just not, that doesn't meet our family standards. And you know, it's it, that's one thing we talk about a lot in peer athlete too. Like, where's the family dynamic in this?

[00:23:00] I played all three sports. We had a really good football team, so we played through mid-December and then baseball. So I quit basketball. Just did not have the time. I was a great athlete. I couldn't shoot very well, you know, and then it was like I was six four, which was decent in high school, but we'd go play some other schools, and the dudes are like six, eight, you know?

[00:23:35] 15th. And then we would take three weeks off. Totally. I wouldn't do anything we saw, you know, we'd do Christmas. We'd hang out. My dad's like, you need to rest mentally, physically, everything. Yeah. And then we would always go to Hilton Head from like over New Year's to like January 5th, we'd golf, we'd do all this stuff as a family.

[00:24:13] And that's what I would do. And I never got pressured by even people who would come up to my dad, why are you letting, especially like my junior year, you know, I was a top, gonna be a top first round pick in baseball. They were my dad. They were like, why are you letting your son play football? My dad was like, let him, he's played since he was six years old.

[00:24:42] Lindsay: So part of that, the moral of that story is let them play with their friends.

[00:24:51] Jeff: Yeah, for sure. And, but it's gotta be competitive, right? Like you, you have to have a balance. Every kid's different, right? Like, if you have three kids, you can't, for you, ou what I think yours are, what? 11 and nine? You can’t exactly. You have to discipline them differently.

[00:25:18] Lindsay: What were you seeing that made you feel like you really wanted to? Go and lean into the Pure Athlete format.

[00:25:32] Jeff: Horrible coaches, horrible parents yelling at their kids when they're seven. I'm like, they can't comprehend. They don't know what's going on. And, honestly, stealing the joy way. As I talk about this a lot, men, the mental side is never talked about enough.

[00:26:03] Like you're trying to find out where you belong. So all day you go through school. Let's be honest. It's like you're walking on eggshells. Did he, she sasaiddoes he like you? Does this. So now tthey'reone with that. Where was the outlet when we were growing up? The outlet was sports. Like we went out and had fun.

[00:26:34] Where do they turn off their head? And so I'm like, all of a sudden these kids are getting to where they can't handle anymore, and then they want to quit. And it's just, it's not, a healthy, like that was my thing. Let's do this healthily. And I mean, we've had over what, 120 athletes, female, male mental coaches, and they all say the same thing.

[00:27:05] Lindsay: And what is the main thing that they're preaching?

[00:27:14] My daughter, when she was six years old, we signed her up for softball. We went to the first game. I didn't coach that year, and I told my wife, I'm like, we made the worst athletic child ever. I'm like, she sucks. I'm like, I mean, I'm like, what happened? I was six four, all athlete. My wife ran track and played tennis in high school.

[00:27:57] Eight, nine, it would've ended differently. And even the way I coach changed two years ago, she was hitting, and she swung at a bad pitch. And you know, my wife gives me crap 'cause I swung at bad pitches all the time. You know, that slider loads away. So, my daughter swung at a bad pitch, and she looked down to me at third, and I didn't, I put my head down and gave the old shake, you know, like, what are you doing?

[00:28:38] They want support from them. Now, does it mean we're not gonna get into it, and we're not gonna have to? We talk about the car ride home a lot, right? Like, where kids want to quit when they play all day, they get in the car, and then their mom or dad goes through this 30-minute thing of all the crap they did wrong.

[00:29:00] Lindsay: Oh, that's amazing. Yeah.

[00:29:10] I got a truck, and I'm like, if when the cat's off, I'm dad. And, most of the time on the way home, we talk about trips we're gonna take, maybe, you know, where I'm pulling a game next week, just anything, their friends or whatever. And then what we usually do is we go to bed the next day, we wake up, you know, whatever.

[00:29:53] Lindsay: Yeah. That is a great tool. I love that.

[00:29:57] Lindsay: What do you? Think is a good baseline for parents if you're not coaching and you're a parent that's on the sideline. I've started to notice, you know, some posters that they've got up, like where my son's basketball and stuff, and it's like, talks about parents, you know, you are not here to coach, like, you know, different things.

[00:30:38] Jeff: I think, you know, there's a study that says who do kids love to come watch and play?

[00:31:02] Right. You know, we joke about it, but honestly, like kids just want support. They want, they need you in their corner. Right. Like, so that's what I do with my travel softball team on Saturday. I, when we play, we'll play three or four games. I tell 'em I'm your biggest cheerleader. I'm not coaching.

[00:31:36] But in the games, they need support, man. They don't need someone, you know, looking down or their dad, get your back elbow up. You know, George Brett, who got really close to in Kansas City, he did the greatest thing. He was this kid. He coached his son's travel ball team, and all these dads would sit in the stands, you know, get a hit swing at this and just yell at their kids.

[00:32:14] Will y'all shut up now when? When your kid's playing because you are no good. So if you can't even do it, how do you expect your kid to do it? And I love that. Is that not so good? Like,

[00:32:27] Jeff: They all shut up. And he is like, we had the best season. KThe kidshad fun. We didn't go on to win every game, but he's like, it was healthy.

[00:32:53] You know, you can't, yeah, you physically can't. Doesn't mean you're not gonna get there. Doesn't mean you're going, but like these parents at 10 years old, right? There might be a 10-year-old kid who's the biggest, strongest, fastest in the school. And so he can do things that other kids can't.

[00:33:23] So why are you telling them to do it?

[00:33:50] What are those things?

[00:34:12] I love seeing the dudes get up there and have accountability in what they did, you know, and. Phrase other teammates. That's why David Wright became one of my favorite teammates when I played with the Mets for those two years in New York. Yeah. Because every game, no matter good or bad for him, the team, he would answer, you know, 80 reporters' questions in that New York clubhouse, and he would always be trying to lift other players on pedestals.

[00:34:56] Like, isn't it cool to see your kid help out another kid, or like set up another kid that never scores, and he's trying to pass them the ball to score because it's like, man, then we're raising them the right way and the things that truly matter. And, so like that's what I preach to a lot of my kids, is like, as much as I love sports and you're doing great.

[00:35:23] Lindsay: Yeah. Or like, you know, seeing them Yeah. High five or something. Yes. Does something. You're right. There's nothing that feels better than that. absolutely. And realizing too, that character is kind of coming through.

[00:35:53] How about for you, what is that mindset? I don't know if you share it with the kids that you coach or not. Yeah. But how did you get past any of those moments?

[00:36:13], can't stand hearing all the negatives. As I said, I'm a very positive person. So even when I sucked, like I found a way to keep myself up and going, but I surrounded myself with great people that could pour into me, right? Like people that I trust. And, you know, I heard a quote and I'm sure Aaron Rodgers got it from somebody, but it said this year when Mike Tomlin was going through all, like, that's a perfect example, right?

[00:36:52] And so I would find guys and my wife, my mom and dad, as I knew, that knew me, you know, I was grounded in my faith. I knew that there was a bigger purpose in what I was doing, and realizing that, ultimately, as I said, that's gonna be such a small part of your life playing sports. Like, if I look to be 80 years old, I played what, 12 and a half years in the big leagues, it's gonna be what, 13, 14% of my life.

[00:37:43] Lindsay: I was gonna ask you about this.

[00:37:58] You're gonna play on Sunday morning instead of going to church? What are you showing your kids that our priorities are?

[00:38:10] Jeff: Yeah,

[00:38:16] Jeff: It works for y'all.

[00:38:36] They don't come and they can't, you know, and you understand that is a culture that has sort of, has crept into the community. Absolutely. And parents that you know, that you feel like you, your kids have to be there. And we try to do the same thing. Like we really do try to, if there's a clinic. Or something, you know, not sign up for the one that's gonna cut into that time.

[00:39:04] Jeff: There are exceptions. Yes, there's no doubt.

[00:39:09] Jeff: Yeah, exactly. No, like you have opportunities, but what I'm saying is if every week you're trying to do that.

[00:39:32] Yeah, it's all money, man. They're making money by starting at eight o'clock on Sunday mornings doing this. And people are just doing it. And what I wanna be aware of is you have choices. And if you're on a team and the coach is like, no, you can't miss on Sunday mornings, you know what? Go find a different team.

[00:40:05] Lindsay: That's really great advice. Just be clear about it. Own it.

[00:40:16] Jeff: Yeah,

[00:40:23] Jeff: Yeah, you'd never learn

[00:40:24] Jeff: About it. He's like, we play all day. We don't, we play all day Saturday,, and then your first game Sunday was at one o'clock, so, you know.

[00:40:42] And I did not feel at all like I was qualified to do this. But what I started doing wass I used sports to teach my kids.

[00:40:51] Lindsay: They love it because I literally will pull, sometimes it's just quotes from a post-game where a player thanks God or whatever. I do think that there's just so much value in the lessons that come from anyone's triumph or hardship or whatever it is.

[00:41:10] Jeff: Absolutely, and that's why, right? Like, why do you want your kids to play sports? Why I want my kids to play sports is the life lessons they learn. And I dig into that with parents. I'm like, what's your goal? Your kids are 10. What's your goal for them this year?

[00:41:43] Like, we don't talk about that enough. The greatest lessons I ever learned are from adversity. Like I remember, you know, my wife, she speaks the truth, man. She was an English teacher who went to Georgia. We've known each other since third grade. So we started dating in high school, and after nine years in the big leagues, I had a horrible year.

[00:42:26] The Triple A team for the San Diego Padres. So my wife's my, yeah. Oh yeah. My wife brings a nine-month-old al to El Paso. Right. We get a one-bedroom apartment.

[00:42:38] Jeff: Needless to say, we have a beautiful house at home on a golf course on three acres, you know, and she's living in a one-bedroom apartment.

[00:43:11] Murder capital of the world. And, but, she taught me something even more. She's like, you're so worried about yourself right now. You've been in the big leagues for nine years, and you have 25 guys on this team who are dying to get one day in the big leagues. Right? Like, waiting for that call. Yeah.

[00:43:44] I started going out early, teaching them some things in the outfield. And you know what happened? I fell in love with the game again. I had fun. I started smiling, I started laughing. And it's like, but we take it too seriously, right? And we're so worried about what's in it for us that we forget, you know, literally that being a servant, helping others is the single greatest thing you can do.

[00:44:28] Jeff: Absolutely. I did. And it's tough conversations, right? It's my wife telling me, yes, she told me off, man. Like I was thinking we were gonna have a different dinner. She was gonna listen to me whine. And she's like, enough, I'm done. I can't do it.

[00:44:47] Jeff: Oh yeah.

[00:44:58] Jeff: I still have the jersey. We have a picture of Emmic Kate, my nine-month-old, hugging me in the Chihuahuas jersey.

[00:45:06] Lindsay: We might need to get that picture to show.

[00:45:20] I actually, you're gonna make fun of me, but I'm technologically awful. The only reason I know how to get on this is 'cause we do Riverside now, and everybody's taught me. My wife hates it, 'cause I don't have a Google calendar. So this is my calendar. It's old school.

[00:45:35] Jeff: I have a handwritten calendar.

[00:45:37] Jeff: Oh yeah. Staple it, do all this stuff. But I have a quote every month at the top that I share with our kids. And the quote this month is, the goal is not perfection, it's awareness and adjustment. And I think our cares are, our kids are so scared to fail because it's on social media.

[00:46:07] Lindsay: Of course.

[00:46:12] Being the best isn't always gonna happen, but it's being aware and then adjusting. So let's figure this out. You know, my daughter's great, no. Last year, the third softball tournament we had, she got in the car, and she was like, man, did I suck today? And I was like, I started laughing. 'cause I'm like, yes, you did.

[00:46:44] Like that's all you want.

[00:46:49] Jeff: No, I had no hat. And that's why when she said that, it was funny. Yeah, because I think she actually wanted to talk about it. She was very mad. And I told her, we'll go in tomorrow. But I did have to get the jab in.

[00:47:18] Every game's a game of failure. How can you get better, and how can you learn from it?

[00:47:38] So one of my friends said kids are pushed so much these days to specialize. I think it's a lot for growing bodies to handle. I would like to know what the top three things are that Jeff recommends for kids in order to increase longevity in sport and not end up with an injury like a torn ACL or other major injury before they're finished growing?

[00:48:07] Lindsay: Yes.

[00:48:15] 'cause he got cut from his basketball and baseball teams. And he was like,

[00:48:18] Jeff: That's my dad. And he was like, my dad was like, swimming's your last thing left, buddy. He is like, that's all you can do. And so, but I will tell you this, we have an episode and teller Dr. Ne, Dr. Neri, he's at Emory, you know, in Atlanta.

[00:48:56] And I talk about it in baseball, the amount of Tommy John's. I saw Dr. Andrews two years ago in the playoffs, and he told me he had just done three Tommy Johns on 12-year-old boys. And I'm like, what?

[00:49:09] Jeff: They're just, they're, they never have a break. They're throwing nonstop.

[00:49:31] So when I did crank back up playing baseball and football I was excited to be there. You know, I've heard Max Scherzer talk about this all the time. Like in high school, in college, he didn't throw all the time. You know, he came up as a bullpen guy, so he had tons of bullets left in his arm when he started playing.

[00:49:49] Jeff: You know? Yeah. Now these kids are coming up and they're all Tommy John by high school, if not first or second year of college. And I'm like, shame on us as parents and coaches for allowing this stuff to happen.

[00:50:03] Jeff: So, so I say more than anything, I would, yeah, I would tell your friend, like I, I give it from more than anything, from an injury perspective for your son or daughter, like to keep them healthy.

[00:50:19] Lindsay: So in that vein, the next one was, what does he suggest for kids who wanna switch sports later but aren't up to speed enough, since kids have specialized so much, his private lessons, specialized skills programs, or rec leagues, et cetera, the best way?

[00:50:53] You know, Lorenzo Cain, the center fielder, who I played with in Kansas City, won a World Series, all that. He'd start playing organized baseball till he was in 10th grade in high school and went on to a, you know, 15-year big league career. Now I get, there's outliers, there's this and that. But if your kid is decent and he has a passion for it, then yeah, if you start 'em later, like in fifth, sixth, seventh grade, you might have to work a little harder, right?

[00:51:37] And I'm like, so was he behind when he went out there to start the year? Yeah. He didn't know a lot of the plays. He didn't know where he was going. And so, you know what my advice was to him? Ask your coaches thousands of questions. Be a sponge out there, man. Soak up everything, learn everything. And all of a sudden, by the end of the year, he had caught on.

[00:52:00] Lindsay: Tackle in the fall.

[00:52:10] I didn't want my kid at six seven to take that big hit and be like, I don't wanna play anymore, 'cause it hurt.

[00:52:27] 'cause we've taken away sports as part of the school curriculum. And then when they get to a school like a high school, the ability to play on those sports teams is limited because they play at such an elite level. So in some way we've taken sports out of schools, which I think is destructive. Anyway, there seems to be a pervasive thought process around communities like ours that sports, in particular, unique sports, are a ticket into elite colleges.

[00:52:56] Jeff: They are, I mean, I love that question, 'cause the odds are stacked against them, right? Like they are, you wanna tell 'em that? And some of these parents, I wanna tell you, if you actually saved all the money from when your kid was eight to 18 that you put into lessons and all this stuff, you probably could pay at least two years of college, right?

[00:53:17] Jeff: You could, but I, my, my whole thing with that again is like, I actually agree with that, and Julie Foudy is one of my favorite, I love her people. We have on, and we had her on, you know, she does TNT soccer. So we've stayed in contact with, you know, both of us working for Warner Brothers, although who knows how all that stuff's gonna go now with the TV stuff, but whatever we're gonna be called at some point.

[00:53:54] And so my dad didn't take that away. And Julie, I love it. She gave her, her daughter. She's like, no, you're playing for your high school. Yes. It might not be as competitive, it might not be whatever, but like I always say, have a pulse of what your kid does because ultimately you're in charge. You know what I'm saying?

[00:54:26] She needs to pitch. And I'm like, yeah, 'cause she's paying you 600 bucks this month. Like, you pay me 600 bucks, I'll call your coach and be like, man, she's ready. And so I'm like, again, that's where I come, like, have a feel. But let your kids, because of what she said at the end, the odds are stacked against you.

[00:55:06] We played with Castro and the championship game, sitting right behind home plate. Wow. Like, it was surreal. We were down there for three weeks. And it was unbelievable. But I came home from that, and I made the tournament team, and I never played any of those tournaments. So if you actually go look at the rankings for the top hundred juniors in the state, in the country, I was not on the rankings.

[00:55:44] So I, I always like to say like, when you get to high school, if your kid has something special, and you should know it by now, and people will tell you, then I'm all on board, man. Like, go in with your kid and give them the best opportunity to play in college, to get drafted, to do whatever. But like you said, the odds are stacked against you that's your kid.

[00:56:16] Lindsay: Oh my God, I would just love to continue this conversation for four.

[00:56:22] Lindsay: Jeff, you are the best.

[00:56:42] So, before we let you go, what are the goals for your kids playing sports? You've talked about them, but can you just, you know, in a nutshell, reiterate? Yeah. So people have to take it with them.

[00:57:03] Accountability, we don't talk about that enough, right? Like, teach your kids how to be accountable. Like, you know, if you're gonna put this work in, you're gonna get better. I want them to learn how to be great teammates. Likewise, you look at all the years in the big leagues, and my skills the last year or two probably diminished some.

[00:57:28] Lindsay: Yeah,

[00:57:31] Lindsay: It's like having him there matters.

[00:57:38] So be a great teammate. Learn how to be unselfish, right? Like, there are times that you know, you're not gonna get the game-winning basket or the game-winning hit. But be excited for your friends. Be excited for your teammates who are going through. And then the best lesson I think you can learn is learn how to fail.

[00:58:16] Like this came together. Right? And so that's what I learned from all the stuff from adversity. I mean, those were the greatest lessons I ever learned. And as parents, though, it's hard to do, right? But sometimes you gotta let your kids go through adversity. Don't bail 'em out, you know, don't bail 'em out.

[00:58:50] And I'm like, Nope, she's done. And so, I was like, she will learn. She got up and ate the biggest breakfast you've ever seen this morning.

[00:59:00] Jeff: But she was in the happiest mood. She kissed me, she kissed my wife, said bye, all this stuff. So my point is, it's like kids are resilient, but they need to learn lessons, they gotta build toughness.

[00:59:19] Jeff: Anything

[00:59:22] Jeff: You know, it's like you with your job, you know the people that are gonna brighten your day when you see 'em, and it's like they're gonna bring, so I wanna be around those people.

[00:59:45] And it's like. It's not that hard, you know?

[01:00:04] Lindsay: Yes. Yes indeed. All right. Well, Jeff, I hope to talk to you again.

[01:00:18] yeah. I got my calendar right here. All the kids' schedules, man. Ready to roll. Luck. Yeah. No crowds.

[01:00:44] But no, I just, I think this conversation is so important. I am sure if you guys have kids, the horror in youth sports, maybe this is something that's crossed your mind, but I know I certainly think about it as we're navigating just the love of the sport and what we think we need to do to get our kids to the next level.

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